Parents Realizing They Raised An Idiot

ass credit parents on reddit what was your I raised an idiot moment when they mistook a leaky radiator hose for smoke no problem it kind of looks the same they continued to drive the car home thinking it was on fire then pulled it into the garage that is attached to the house I don't think he's an idiot but I think he lacks common sense because he'll take a bite of food it will be scalding hot he'll cry and act like he's dying but won't spit it out he'll say mommy it's hot and I'll say well I told you to wait for it to cool down or then blow on it or something to that effect he will say no and then continue taking scalding hot bites and crying that it's too hot in his defenses father's the same way at age 15 at the market she was asked to get a large chicken and she came back with a turkey when I asked her to return the turkey and get a large chicken she revealed that she thought that turkeys were literally adult chickens and that chickens were young turkeys as parents we try to teach our kids everything they need to know but it's hard to see the gaps sometimes three year old is preparing for his bath his underwear looks strange but undistracted his brother kid takes off one pair of underwear then a second pair then a third i asked why he is wearing three pairs of underwear kid looks at me like I'm an idiot mom told me to put on a clean pair every day that non-autistic kid grew up to place the highest in math in our large Midwestern city but even in his twenties you have to make sure you give clear instructions as he will follow rules to the letter I haven't and I hope I don't have to but my dad said almost exactly that line in reference to my brother my dad told me about a conversation they had that went like this as best I remember when his third child was born and looked nothing like him I told him he should get a DNA test and he told me he wished he could but it was too late I asked what he meant and he said by now the DNA would mixed and there would be no way to tell who the child's father was after I explained how DNA works to him he still didn't believe me when I asked him why he wouldn't just try on the off chance I was right that rather than being on the hook for child support for a child he had literally seen for 12 hours total over the first year of its life he said it's just 21 more years and how why waste my time my son came to our house to visit he didn't live with us we weren't home but we on our way home so he let himself in we woke him and he's freaking out about breaking our newly adopted cattle something to that effect I asked him what was she doing she looked fine to me he said she was vibrating when she sat on his lap this is where he learned about cats purring he hadn't been around a lot of cats so idk I'm the idiot I registered for college and spelled my middle name wrong but didn't notice for four years since they always abbreviated to my initial I was showing my parents my diploma before walking on graduation day and my mom just stared at me like I was special bonus points I actually thought that was how it was spelled I'm a parent but my children are brilliant angels who can do no wrong this is my mother's favorite story about me when I was about two I climbed up on my sister's crib jumped off and said look mommy I'm swimming of course I started bawling as I hit the floor a neighbor came over thin walls hearing screaming asks what's wrong what happened etcetera I stopped crying and tell her no no I show you and proceeded to swim again a couple of weeks ago our Chihuahua was horny and trying to bone his sister I said to husband that the dog reminded me of a frustrated scene lad and he needs a cold shower 20 minutes later seventeen-years-old walks in holding a distraught and dropping dog wrapped in a towel he'd overhead the conversation and literally put him in a cold shower in March in the UK I swear to God raising this kid is like painting by numbers and every so often he goes dramatically over the lines so he's 11 right need to be clear about this he's 11 we are watching Kolbert report and Steven says something happening in Congress politics whatever is as likely as writing legislation with Santa Clause the tooth fairy or the Easter Bunny I chuckle at the dumb joke only half paying attention my kid sits up and says wait that what did he just say what was can you explain that I'm thinking maybe he's confused about the politics so I say these two powerful politicians aren't getting along he says ya know right okay so what else did he say again by this point my roommate who had been pretty much staring at his laptop ignoring the TV end the two of us starts watching us closely so I say yeah so that's as unlikely as meeting Santa Claus yeah yeah or the tooth fairy Yeah right or the Easter Bunny Vahdat my rumored lets out one small chuckle I'm staring at him a bit dumbfounded finally I asked buddy did you still think there was a up a rabbit who snuck into the house and hid eggs my room had starred snickering I'm just staring with a bewildered look kiddo is slumping down down down into the couch angry tear drops welling up in his eyes I don't know if he was embarrassed mad at my roommate for laughing all pissed off because he learned the Easter Bunny wasn't real in such a shitty way he already informed me that he knew Santa Claus was just the parents about oh I dunno four years earlier so I thought we were cool as I tucked him in that night he explained I just figured he stopped coming because I'm too old definitely not an idiot but I love this story about my kid I used to pay the guy who took care of the yard for me by writing a check putting it in a baggie and sticking it under the mat one weekend I was on the phone while writing the check so I asked my son to put the check in the baggie under the mat for me I went on with the conversation and forgot about it a few days later the guy who takes care of the lawn calls me up and says he looked everywhere but can't find the check while we are talking I opened the door and lift up the mat and no check he says you are really great customers so I was surprised that the check wasn't there I was surprised too I look around behind bushes under a decoration no check then I try to think like my son I look under the mat inside the front door and there's the check we still laugh about it my son is only one year old right now and kids get a pass on being considered idiots until about age three or four he actually appears both to us and to professionals to be very intelligent he definitely has advanced problem-solving skills he clearly didn't get it from me though because I had quite a few of those moments as a kid the most famous one in our family is from when I was 10 I had read this book on life in medieval times and how people used to shave by sanding their facial down with a pumice stone so I tried to do it with sandpaper now again I was 10 years old and the only facial hair I had was a little bit of peach fuzz and - it's just not a good idea to sand any part of your body my face was red and flaky for about a week I remember I came upstairs from my dad's workshop my face stinging and told my parents I think I did something not smart OMG he was fine until he had a kid he would bring the baby over 6mo half dressed and bare feet sticking out of his carrier in the freezing cold like 15 degrees we've had multiple discussions about it over the years he six now and he still doesn't dress him correctly for the weather I've been tempted to report him at times he's all that's what he wanted to wear so I'll let him know you're the [ __ ] parent dude not a parent but I sure as hell did something stupid just yesterday my girlfriend came over and she brought a suction dildo for sexy time me being the genius that I'm slapped it against my forehead like an erotic unicorn after a few minutes of wheezing and laughing I took it off my girlfriend mentioned it put a small mark on my forehead but I figured it would be fine in a few minutes an hour later I look in the mirror and realize I gave myself a god damn hickey so now I'm walking around my house with a giant hickey on my forehead from trying to become a sexy Narwhal my parents are so proud of me not a parent however I feel like this belongs here when I was about 3 to 4 years old I stuck a pinto bean up my nose while at preschool there was a sandbox that instead of being filled with sand was filled with pinto beans I'm guessing they did this because beans make less of a mess that was filled with toys for kids to play with while playing at the table I thought it would be fun to stick a bean up my nose so I did exactly that if I remember correctly I was able to stick it up my nose and take it out successfully the first few times that I did it but then it got stuck so me being the smart little kid that I was I decided not to tell anyone about me not telling anyone was due to a mix of me being worried about what my parents would say and not knowing how I'd convey to them that I had stuck a bean up my nose and couldn't get it out eventually a whole seven hours later while I was taking a bath I decided it would be the right time to tell my parents what happened I don't remember much after me telling my parents what happened but from what they've told me they were both highly amused and incredibly concerned as to how they ended up trying to get pinto bean out of there soaking wet child's nose sadly they couldn't get it out and so off to the air we went [Music]

Channel: ToadFilms

Views: 142,544

Rating: 4.8877864 out of 5

Keywords: parents, idiot children, idiot child, parents realizing they raised a monster, parents raising idiots, spoiled kids, mom, reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, BrainyDude, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, Brainy Dude, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit

Id: shJwLxwU9U4

Length: 10min 43sec (643 seconds)

Published: Sat May 04 2019