Parents, How Did Your Kids Ruin "Special" Time? (r/AskReddit)

parents of Reddit what's your best my kid interrupted sexy time story important background detail I have sleep apnea and use a CPA pee machine the CPA P machine makes something like breathing sound as it cycles and pumps air married for 12 years two kids girl who's 10 and boy who's six our house is small and our bedrooms are very close to each other our kids beds are only 10 or 15 feet from ours so wife usually insists we have maritals when the kids are at school our work schedules allow for us to get busy at least once a week the privacy makes it much easier to relax and get loud and daytime sex is fun but one night a week or so before Christmas we couldn't contain ourselves kids were in bed wife told then mom and dad had to talk about Christmas presents and that they needed to give us privacy we locked the door and got to it it was very good but about 15 20 minutes into it things got a bit quiet for a second and we realized our daughter was across the hallway quietly and worriedly saying mom dad is everything ok we asked her what was wrong and she said I hear a lot of loud breathing are you ok son quickly chimed in from his room and said [ __ ] it's just daddy's breathing machine it makes him sound like a fat kid trying to run I put my daughter to bed she was probably around 1.5 years old at a time so the wife and I finally had some alone time for the evening about 30 minutes later we decided it was a good time for some lovemaking so we both went into our bedroom stripped down to nothing and started making out standing up just when things were starting to really heat up I felt something hairy grabbed my leg from behind and I freaked out and swung my leg forward poor kid had snuck into our room without us noticing saw us hugging and decided to join in on the hug only to have her dad kick her halfway across the room at least your daughter just grabbed your leg I was going down on my wife when we hear from the monitor my two year old whispering mama Dada I know you're out there at mood-killer well for my wife at least I just wanted to turn off the monitor and carry on that sounds like some horror movie stuff once me and my wife were going at it we had been upset with each other over the past few days but we were now making up in a physical manner to put it simply anyway right in the middle of it the doorbell rings we don't want to stop so we keep going it's midnight anyway probably just a drunk we assumed then the doorbell rings again and we heard yelling I stopped and getting nervous by the yelling go to answer the door but with a loaded pistol behind my back this was a sketchy area in Chicago in the late 80s when I opened the door two cops are standing there weapons drawn I asked what they want and they informed me they got a call that a man was hurting someone in the house I then informed them so they don't shoot me when they see it that I have a gun in my hand the officer has me very slowly drop it and I am then handcuffed my wife comes out and asked what is going on the officers tell us that I call I had said violence was occurring in the home now my 15 year old son and ten-year-old daughter are peeking their head up the stairs to see what's going on we press further and cops told us a little girl had called from inside the house and said daddy was hurting mommy what happened was our youngest daughter who was six had snuck out of her room right across from ours and went into her playroom downstairs of midnight the playroom has a vent leading upstairs so anyone down there can hear what's going on in my bedroom and vice-versa my six-year-old daughter had heard the grunting and moaning and me aggressively talking to my wife through the vent and had thought I was hurting her and used the home phone to call the police it was a long night I was angry at my daughter for sneaking out but kind of happy she knew what to do in case of an emergency it was also kind of funny - the cops had a good laugh so overall I wasn't that angry the fact me and my wife got back to business once it was all over probably helped - it was a pain trying to explain to a six-year-old what mommy and daddy were exactly doing though after that we got a lock on the playroom so no one could sneak and in jeopardize our private time our youngest was around 5 he came in because he thought it was thundering it wasn't the headboard of our bed was against the wall his room and our room shared we arranged the furniture the next week I unfortunately returned the favor recently he's 13 now and walked into the bathroom while it was in use he was naked on the floor tablet in hand headphones in taking care of business on a solo mission he thought he locked the door I thought he was at practice it was the perfect storm I felt awful about it I knock now he makes sure it's locked not a parent's perspective but one day I was skipping school and my parents came home around lunchtime I hid in my room waiting for them to leave but then heard them start talking all sexy to each other and I could tell they were about to freak I came out of my room and admitted to skipping school to avoid that trauma I think my dad was more P about the cock-block than me skipping school I gave you life how dare you wreck this for me sure I'll share a few weeks ago and whiffy and I were enjoying a long moment of passion now that both the boys were asleep I had literally just finished and was literally climaxing and enjoying the onset of an orgasm when she goes from grabbing my dong and giving me a dirty look - looking shocked and saying oh my god kiddo is in the room she quickly pushes me off while she says hey buddy what are you doing up what are you guys doing so I blurt out I was tickling mama we were just playing he stares at us for 5-10 seconds then says this is not appropriate for me and goes back to bed so I put on pants and follow him to tuck him in his eyes are misty and he's biting back tears were you fighting mama were you hurting her nobody we were just playing I was tickling her well it looked like you were pushing like pushing her really hard well Mama's bigger than you I have to work harder to hold her down when I'm tickling her okay and he went to sleep when my brother was about six we moved from an apartment to a trailer the apartment was ground floor on a foundation so you couldn't feel vibrations through the floor but in the trailer you couldn't suddenly our parents room was right next to our room whereas before they were across a hallway so first night in the house my parents are doing their thing and it was making noises and the shaking bed could be felt if you were lying on the floor in the next room at this point our beds hadn't been set up yet so we happened to be sleeping on the floor my brother bursts into my parents room screaming it's an earthquake it's an earthquake poor kid freaked the heck out and my parents had to calm him down this one wins freaking hilarious I remember once I was gonna go ask my parents something in the middle of the night and I heard my mom say oh my dad's name oh my gosh at the time I thought she had a nightmare and had just woke up so I decided to go back to bed it wasn't until years later that I realized what was really going on I really hope she yelled oh damn Pachuca senior I once walked in my parents room while they were freaking my dad didn't have any pants on and was laying on the bed on my mum they pretended they didn't notice me at the time I was old a Nehru to know what they were doing my dad came downstairs and told me my mom was embarrassed to never spoke of it again let the boy watch I heard our daughter yelling for my wife and she walks in while we were getting insanely close to finishing and our daughter said I can't sleep mom asks why daughter because all I'm hearing and the house is kshh kshh kshh h h KS h h HH and i don't know what it is I was the kid and I walked in on my dad riling my mom I knew what was happening and I just left the room right after I opened the door it didn't disturb me as much as I just felt awkward and then my dad said they were wrestling and he was winning just made it more awkward oh yeah he won all over her my parents tell the story as such bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang a sneeze bless you mommy not mine but overheard at a restaurant years ago couple had a kid who always liked to hide in the closet and scare people parents go to their room lock the door start sexy time finish and stop talking about their day husband asks way his grape answer and without hesitation a voice comes out of the closet they're in here in about 15 years that kid's gonna realize that every time he sees grey pants he'll think of his parents boning apparently when I was younger i called 9-1-1 when my parents were having sex because my mom was breathing weird after that pretty much any time my parents wanted to distract me they'd get a new Disney movie to pop in the VHS player or one of my old favorites little known facts Walt Disney released Steamboat Willie in 1928 with the sole intention of allowing parents 7 minutes and 42 seconds of uninterrupted berming not a parent but did walk in on my parents doing the dirty when I was like 3 stroke 4 apparently I thought my dad was hurting my mom so I started crying and according to my mom without even hesitating my dad goes oh I was just to clean your mom it's fine sweetie not sure if they continued or what happened after but my mom always brings it up how my dad was so smooth about it was about five or six awoke thirsty so went to the kitchen and discovered my dad plowing my mom under the kitchen table they didn't notice me at first at first my two month old is the prince of dawn blocks a few nights ago his dad dared to put his arm around me for a cuddle my baby's sixth sense kicked in and he suddenly woke up it's the same story every single day the moment Daddy brings up intimacy baby wakes up it gets better hang in there five-year-old daughter came around the corner unsaid who was clapping I had a GF who had a very obedient but clingy dog often the dog would wander into the bedroom and what just get down the dog did a couple of odd things my GF was quite expressive during the act and if I was on top and she laid out some loud moans the dog would jump up on the bed and growl at me even though she knew me very well either my GF or I would have to push her away or put her outside if she continued I read the beginning of that incorrectly I don't want to admit how incorrectly but incorrectly when I was younger maybe ten or so I was having trouble sleeping so I kept trying to sleep and nothing was working I was staring at the ceiling eyes closed when I heard dirty talking from across the way although I had no idea that's what it was it wasn't super vulgar or anything no swearing then noises started all of them clearly my mother I had no idea what was happening but I tried to block it out but their door was open so no luck she was complimenting him again no swearing and I eventually fell asleep at breakfast the next morning I asked what their conversation last night was about they didn't know what I meant and brushed it off as a dream until Dunbar's me started to recite her compliments I have never seen the colour leaf somebody's face so quickly not my story but my older sisters she was around ten years old and had gone downstairs for a glass of water late at night she heard a weird muffled moaning thumping sound she first thought it was a ghost or something scary until she realized it was coming from the baby monitor in our parents room I laughed my butt off the first time she told me until she reminded me that I was probably in the crib right beside them oh god why o HH manor I love this story actually I interrupt my parents in this case law I don't remember this but they always tell this story to people so it's late at night I'm like 5-6 yo they are having the sexy time all of a sudden I wake up I listened to her awkward repetitive noise go to them the is really dark so I don't see anything and while they're early I say is there a horse in here I'm hearing horse noises they just bust out laughing stop everything and send me back to bed actually amazing story you have been visited by the wisdom Papa type study well popper all you will fail your next text of school like and subscribe you magnificent person [Music]

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 14,562

Rating: 4.8797812 out of 5

Keywords: parents, parents stories, parents sacrifice stories, parents vs, parents vs teens, interrupters, interruption, funny parenting, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: htlMVWOYXt4

Length: 13min 1sec (781 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 07 2020