- Today I think we'll
speak a little bit about, my drug habit, the way
I used to deal drugs. The way I used to be around drugs, how I got introduced to you them. What I started with. I always hear a lot of people say, they started with marijuana. Me, myself, I didn't have that luxury. Me and my little brother one time we were getting out of school, we we're real young, we were about maybe like 11 and 12. We ran into some older dudes and they were right there. And I remember we walked up, I seen the first guy, he was holding onto the wall and he wasn't moving. And I was like, 'Hey, what did he smoke?'. So the other dude says, 'Hey, well, I got it right here.'. So he brought out this glass bottle, a pack of cool cigarettes, and what he did was, he
stuck the cigarette inside and he turned cigarette
and he blew it backwards and he blew all the
liquid into the cigarette. And he told me, 'This
is a 20 dip right here, this is PCP.'. So, I wanted to be curious
to see what it did to you, so, we end up smoking it. Now, we were 12 and 11 years old. I remember me and my
little brother smoked it and I remember the feeling
of being like strong as like, strong, like 10 guys. It made me feel like a
strong, like for 10 guys. So we smoked it. The next day I went back
with my little brother and I told the dude, 'Hey
man, let me buy $10 worthy.'. So, he handed dippy one, he gave it to us, we went and smoked it and we
didn't go home for two days. Right after that, I noticed once we smoked that PCP, we were already getting
interested in marijuana and weed. We used to see my father
deal with his drugs but he was dealing with heroin. And I remember, I used to
hear them talk about it. Back then it was a quarter spoon, $25, and you would get high one time, and you would be high all
day until the night time. And he only got down one time, reason I know, 'cause I was with him. So, I used to watch my father, deal his little heroin, but he also sell weed on the side. And we're interested in the weed. Well, I had a friend down the street and his dad used to move a lot of weed. He was one of the main weed connections. So, I wanted to get, I wanted to get into weed
and see what it was about. So, one day me and my friend were at his, were at his house, and I'd tell him, 'Hey
man, your dad's not here, why don't you go see if there's
anything in his stash.'. So, he goes in and he comes out and he brings out, I see about two ounces of weed, good weed. And I tell him, 'Hey, that's a lot, your
daddy, ain't going to notice?' He's like, 'No, I fixed it
the same way and everything.'. So, we had school the
next day and I was like, you know what, I'm going
to take it to school, I'm going to be cool himself, a few dimes, sell some joints. And I thought I had it together. Went to school, took it in my backpack, we smoked one joint before we went. It was like the third
time I had smoked weed. So, we smoked the joint. I was already nervous going
to school but I went anyways. When I got there, I kept smelling the fragrance of weed. While I was young, I didn't realize that
the weed was coming out the back of my backpack, the smell. And I didn't realize that
until we went to the bathroom and my small brother said,
'Hey, you smell like weed.'. So, we opened it up, we ended up wrapping it, it was in paper towels, some more plastic, and we put it back in the backpack. And they decided they
wanted to go to the field. So, I was like, 'Okay, let's go.'. So, we went up to the
field and we're up there, and I remember getting the weed, I put it on my lap, I put some rolling papers out and... Mind you, I'm barely learning how to roll but I'm about to roll a joint. And I hear, 'Hey!'. And I look up, man it's the principal man. one of the seventh grade and the principal just caught
me with an ounce of weed. He walks up, he grabs the weed, 'Where did you get this at?'. I said, 'I found it.'. And he's like, 'No, you didn't, where did you get it? Who sold it to you?' So now he wants to call my parents and my mother, she wouldn't say nothing. My father, he's going
to get a little upset but he already knows I'm doing something. He asked me like a couple of weeks before, I was smoking weed, I denied it. But now, I was going to
come out to the truth. And I'm really scared man, 'cause my father, he was a nice guy but when he got mad, he got really mad. And I didn't know how
mad he was going to be that I got caught with weed. But kind of surprised me when he came. He came in, he talked to the principal, he came back out and he
didn't tell me nothing. He didn't tell me nothing. On the way when we get
home and we stopped, he parks the car and he tells me, 'You know you're kicked
out of school, right?' I'm like, 'Yeah, I got
suspended, what's the big deal?' He says, 'No, you got
kicked out of school, you got kicked out of the
whole school district.'. And I was like, 'For weed?' They caught me with weed, he said, 'No, you did a lot of
things leading up to this, this was just the one, the icebreaker, and now you're kicked out of school.'. So I was 12 years old and I was kicked out of
the old school district. I didn't know where to go to school. So, I used to go in the afternoon
to about three houses down and I had one of my homies over there and I know his dad used
to move a lot of cocaine, back in the 80's and stuff. But I wasn't aware that my homie was still
moving cocaine for his father. Well, since I didn't go to school, I used to go to his house in the morning and I would always see
his father go in the room and he'll do something in there and then would come out with a bag of, I don't know what it was, I found out after, it
was a bag of all cocaine. He had nothing but keys in there. And I didn't know the
dad was doing it that big until we went in the
attic and found his stash. Now, we went in the attic,
we're looking around, we ended up opening up a suitcase and there was so much Coke in there, it looked like, I felt
like I was in a movie, there was so much Coke. It might've been like, there was like, I think I counted 16 bricks of Coke and they were all keys. My friend was going to
take one and I told him, 'You take one, he won't notice, that's too big of an issue.'. So, there was one to
the side that was open. It had a little spoon on it. And I remember looking at it and it looked real yellow. I didn't know what it was at that time but what it was was, Peruvian Flake. It was coming from Florida, his dad was hooked up with a dude and... Well, anyways, we took some of it, we took about, I say about, maybe a half ounce. We took, we hide in a big sandwich baggie. And then went to small homies, and of course we had to pay him, but we told him, 'Hey, can
you quarter these up?'. Because back then, they used to sell you a bundle. It was shaped like an envelope and it was $25. No matter what, 25, not 23, not 22, $25 and you get a quarter of Coke. Now, the Coke I had was
really, really good, so... By this time, a year had passed and we were doing
different things with weed but then we got into the Coke scene and I noticed that the Coke scene, there was a lot of people from
Mexico that liked cocaine. They used to call it (speaking
in foreign language). I used to see them, these dudes used to have little vials with little spoons on it. All of them had a long ass, pinky ring, I mean a pinky nail, like that long. I used to wonder, why they had long, long, long nails until they
broke a bottle out one time and all of them were using
their pinky nails to... (man sniffing) Sniff Coke. And I thought that that kind of, represent them. Because all of them had a long pinky nail. I used to go to them and I used to sell to them in their bar. These dudes always had money man. They never came short. They always had the money. The only thing that irritated me was, every time I took to them Coke, they wanted me to bring them a woman. Now, I wasn't into pimping and bringing women and all that stuff, but they brought me so much
that I had two home girls and my home girls were game for anything. They wanted to make money, so I took them over there. I got into the Coke scene. And when I got into the Coke scene, I was already getting into the gangs. So, when I was in the gangs and I was in the Coke
scene, I was dealing Coke. The next thing I know, I'm sitting in a two bedroom house, it's got big backyard, big front yard and I'm having a barbecue there and I remember, my uncle tells his friend... They ask whose house it was and he told them, it was mine. And it made me feel good, being, I was about maybe 15 by this time. I was moving a lot of Coke, I mean, I was moving so much where my homie used to come by every night and drop me off an ounce of Coke. I used to make bundle
after bundle after bundle 'til my, actually my hands hurt. And then noticing that
for me touching the Coke, for you, the ones that don't know, that stuff soaks in your pores. It's like the Fentanyl Day, you get it, and then you break it and then once you put it down, it's stuck all on your fingers. There's no way you can
scrape it off with a knife, that stuff on your hands. No, there's no way, it
stays on your fingers. The only way to get it off, that I noticed, is you
rub it into your pores. And from me dealing at Coke way back then, I used to always feel, awake. Not really alive, but awake. I smoke cigarette after cigarette and I wasn't touching the Coke. What I was doing was I was selling it but I had my little homie dealing with me and he was a big Coke kid. He used to bring me story after story. With the drug addiction
and people doing drugs, I noticed that they
will tell you anything. Anything you want to hear, they'll give you the shit off their back, they'll promise you a cheque next week. And it just goes on and on and on. That's why they never say,
'Never front anybody.'. But the thing about this is that, for an individual like
myself, that uses drugs, when I would be, when I
would be sick from heroin, I would do a lot of things I wouldn't do in my normal frame of mind. Rob somebody, steal something, I wouldn't do that in
my right frame of mind, but being strung out, there was things I would do that I wouldn't do necessarily today. There was games, I would run on people
just to get their money, just so I would have my wake-up. And I was always worried about the wake up because, that's like the only drug, I couldn't remember that from
the addiction came a sickness. And like I said, I went through the Coke, I didn't get sick, I went through PCP, didn't get sick, the weed, used to get
paranoid, but never sick. But the heroin, when I first heard about it, I was like, I was 15 and my homie tells
me, 'You want to slam?' And I'm like, 'I'm only 15 years old.' And I'm like, 'Do I want to slam?' Wow. My father has been slamming all his life, I've been watching it all
this time on my uncle, Sam. In my head, I actually thought that, that's what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to slam heroin, go to prison, run around my homeys
and to be getting killed when I'm dead, killed when I'm young or they're talking to an old man, and stay with the gangster mentality, the Cholo mentality, whatever, really causes
the thug mentality. You stay with that all my life. At that age, when I was 15, my homie tells me if I wanted to slam some heroin. And I was like, 'Yeah.'. He said, 'Well, give
me some of that Coke.' And I'm like, 'We didn't do the Coke.' He goes, 'Ima put the
Coke with the heroin.' So he wants to slam a speedball. Now, I've never ever did it before. And I'm kind of nervous because, man, he's putting in a lot
of Coke inside that heroin. He draws up and he tells me, 'All right, let me see your arm.'. And I remember exactly what happened. I got about tied around
my arm and he injected me, I took off the bow and I remember I got this, this rushed, this rush that it feels like, it's rushing so fast that it feels like somebody
grabs your top of your head and just ripped the skull back. It just feels like that. I don't know what the name of it would be but so much of a rush that it feels like they grab
you and just peel you back. Like, every hair on your neck stands up and then stuff that you hear, like you turned the water faucet on, it sounds like there's a waterfall. Everything's just totally loud, like the water is... (man hissing) Just totally loud in your ears. And then about five minutes through, all of a sudden you feel
a warmness, come on. It's like getting, it's like being in the cold and then
getting a big old blanket and putting it around you. That's the best example
I can give you of heroin. You like getting a blanket, you're in the cold and you get a blanket and you put it around you. You know that feeling of, oh. That's how heroin feels. Like to me, it feels like, you get a blanket and you
just wrap yourself with it. It feels like you're encased, you're warm. And then every pain in your body is gone. Every aching pain is gone. I know a guy who was in the hospital, it shattered both his legs. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. When I got at him and I
told him I had something that would make him stop screaming, believe me, he stopped screaming. But the only thing, he
picked up a habit too. Something that, I wouldn't advise anybody to pick up. But he picked up the heroin habit. And he went to Afghanistan,
war and all that, and he was one of my friends, he had episodes and all that, but when he was with me and he was on heroin, he never had an episode. But his legs were shattered, he had all kinds of problems
because he wasn't on drugs. He did it on a sound mind. I think he got caught up in Afghanistan, he gets flashbacks and shit. But I noticed when he was with
me, he never had a flashback. It was just like with my homey. When he used to get high with
me, he never had problems. But when he got high
alone, he had problems. This is the same one that me
and him dealt Coke together. Now, as we're dealing to
Coke, I tell you I'm 15. I go to camp, I get back out. Lo and behold, I go visit
my grandmother in Norwalk. I got two cousins from
Norwalk right there. That's at our grandma's house. I walk in the house about
12 in the afternoon, my aunt tells me, 'Get
your shit out of here, I don't want this fucking shit in here, I don't know who brought
this shit in here.' I go in there, gang a PCP everywhere. Of course I grabbed my issue, go to the hood, start selling it. The guy who it belonged to, now he's looking for me and my homie. He wants to know where
in the hell we're at, 'cause we took a good amount of his juice. I say about, $5,000 worth with juice. And that's a lot of money back then. It was like about 90, we took it. 89, 90, mind years back then, and we took it. We took a whole duffel bag full, and we had it bumper to bumper, we had foods all juiced out on the curb. Foods would stay there all
night, inside their car. So we had to change that. The hood started getting hot. Food started calling us to the car to pay it and then shoot at us. So, we're being careful, 'cause we're selling juice right there but we got to watch the
guys that call us to the car because that was one of
the tricks back then. They going to call you to the
car and then shoot you dead. So even though we got the juice, we ain't smoking it, but
every else is high as hell. We graduated from juice, they brought us angel dust. Now, when I seen the angel dust, it was a square 10, four, and it was so small, and I was like, man, what is this? It's $10 of angel dust. So, I go and open it up. What do you do? You roll it like a joint. So, I rolled it like a joint. Now angel dust is the feeling
of total invincibility. Like, no one can fuck with you at all. I'm talking about, you
become just that guy. If you think you know, karate, you could perform,
karate, Kung-fu whatever. I know I've experience with it, where I smoked the duster, I thought I was karate guy, whooped this dude's ass with
the game kicks and shit. But it was just the drug
that induced my mind thinking that I was actual, a Kung-fu
fighter and I knew karate. I mean, its a feeling where
the dust is the same thing. It warms you up, you get a rush, but you just feel invisible. And you don't want anybody
telling you shit, nothing, and it's called angel dust. But they changed the name to Ququi dust, because of the fact that the dust that my homie
was making was black and original dust is green or brown. My homey had black dust. So, they called it Ququi dust. And this dust, right here, I say, one joint, four people would sit down and wouldn't stand back up. I liked the dust, so, I wanted to actually make the dust myself. So I said, you know what, fuck this, I'm paying
this dude to make it, this dude to fucking hold it, I'm going to eliminate all that shit, I'm going to make it, I'm going to hold it, I'm going to sell it, I'm going to collect all the money. So that's what I did. I got in my brother and I told him, 'Look, I want you to
teach me how to cook dust, how to make it.' He was, 'Oh man, you don't want to be...'. I see, yes I do man, I want to make dust. So, he went and got a big pickle jar and feed all the pickles,
cleaned it, real good, he went in, we went to
Compton, we bought $300 pour. We went to the market and
we bought mint leaves. They come in little cans. We bought about four cans of mint leaves, we got home, he got the big jug, he threw mint leaves in there, he threw like half the juice in there. And he shook the bottle around. And all of the leaves getting wet and they got all stuck to the sides and he got it, and he opened the freezer, put the stuck in the freezer, closed it about hour or two later, we take it out, take a little bit out, roll it, dry, roll it, smoke it, and we were smoking it to see how potent we could get it. But we were our own test dummies. But when we did it was, I'll smoke once, then he'll smoke the next one. Because if we smoked
and smoked and smoked, we wouldn't even know
how good was the stuff by the time we get in and take it out. So, we did it like that, the first batch we made, I remember the first batch we made we made $300 each and
that sounding just dimes. And that's fresh. One thing about selling drugs, When you get to a spot, you
have to make that spot yours, you have to make it known that's you. You can't let anybody else come in and just deal because the fact that they're stepping on your toes, there are some times
where we used to rotate. There's four of us there, we're all selling drugs, okay. First customer, second customer third customer, fourth customer. And that's how we should do it. We used to rotate it. 'Cause there are places where, there's enough traffic and enough money for seven motherfuckers to deal right there. But it's just that a lot
of people are greedy, a lot of people are jealous, they don't feel that there's
enough for everybody, they want all for themselves. And I learned that with
the drug trade where, you can give a guy a whole pound of weed, the next day you might ask
them to let you borrow $20. And in the game and the drug game, nothing's free. No one rides for free. They may think they got you high, and it was for free but I guarantee you, a week or two later, they'll be like, 'Hey,
you got that money?'. What money? Remember the other day
when I got you high? Okay, you got me high. Where
is it that you sold this to me? But since it's a drug and it's through and through, you got to pay the dude the money because you own for the drug. But they don't necessarily tell you, I'm charging you for what
I'm getting you high on. I was a strong believer in, if I tell you, I'm going to get you
high, ima get you high. You ain't got to bring no
money, just bring yourself. But there's dudes out there, if they get you high then
they want to charge you after. And that's where a lot of jams
come up behind the drug game. The drug game, a lot of
dudes will sell you drugs and then sell you drugs
and sell you drugs, and then one day, they swear they gave you the package, but you know, you never got it. But it's just his word against yours now. He's the one with all the dope. He's the one that had been
supplying for me to pay my rent. What am I supposed to do? Where I'm I going to tell him? I just ended up, agree with him, take it as a lie and pay him again for
what he never gave me. And what could I do? I mean, I don't have it on camera, I don't have nothing down on writing. I'd say no but I can't 'cause I can't sue this guy
for not giving me my dope. So that would be the second thing. And that would be getting
yourself into bullshit like that. And I'll be the first one to say, doing drugs, is a fucking hard ass job. People look at it like a job, but it's so fucking hard that first thing in the
morning when you wake up, that's the first thing in your head. The second thing is, where are you going? How far you're going to travel? Because me, I'll travel anywhere. If it's good though, I don't give a fuck, I'll go wherever. And either you have to go far or you would have to wait
fucking hours and hours, and I didn't like to do that. I wanted it on hand. So I used to tell them homies, we could either get it all here on hand, then we won't have to
want from anybody else. They'll start wanting from us. So I learned in the drug game, as you're going to get there,
sit there and deal drugs, you had to buy everybody out around you or you bring them in with you. 'Cause it's not going to work, everybody trying to get
everybody's clientele. People get confused. Dudes will start low-balling you. You'll be selling something for 10, and dude will come and
say, 'I got it for seven.'. See now he's low-balling you. He's going to get your money or you're supposed to get from this dude but dude rather pay seven, keep a couple of bucks for a soda. So, instead of giving me the whole ten. But there are guys like that. There are those kinds of drug
dealers that, they go wherever and whenever and just slide right in, and started selling a drug
until they get caught. There's another motherfucker,
that puts dope out there, but he puts the laxatives inside it. So when you do it, you sit on
the sitter for like two days. Shitting water. You know what I mean? But this dude only does it Like every four months. He'll put a batch out, and then he'll pull it back. I guess he just makes money
and then he'll pull it back. And then the fucking dope is so fucked up. You know, that's another
thing you got to do, when you're doing that job being a drug dealer getting high is, you
gotta make sure that drugs are good. And you have to check the shelf life, or dude can sell you a pound right now, and you put it up in your closet, and two days later, the shit turns into plastic on you. So you have to go, and know how much shelf life does it have, How long is it gonna last, how long do I have, to get off this, Before this shit starts getting
weak, or starts getting bad. A lot of people don't look at that, they don't ask the question. They go, is it good? Yeah, it's good. Let me try it. Oh yeah, its as good as hell. How good is it going to
be in two or three days? That's the question you
have to ask yourself, that's the one thing that I see a lot of so-called drug dealers do, they do not ask how much
shelf life does this have? That's one of the most key
things in drug dealing, is making sure you know how much shelf life this fucking shits got. Cause I seen, this shit
that was bomb as shit, top of the grade ice. The next day, it was fucking hard like fucking rubber cement. In a bag, just from sitting on a shelf, it turned into hard ass plastic. But, the night before, we was smoking bong after bong doing line, homie was poking himself, and the shit was bomb. So you had to remember, the shelf life. Lot of people say they got good as shit, but the shit doesn't stay long. It's like nowadays you use heroin, And, to tell you the truth, it's a waste of time Because, there is no more
heroin inside the heroin. There might be 30% in
there, but that aint shit. Everything else is fentanyl, sugar and anti fentanyl pills. They they're putting pills in there, they're putting fucking fentanyl in there, they're putting coffee
in there, chocolate, they cut it with all kinds of experiment, with all kinds of shit, But the one who's getting fucked, is the one buying it. See I ain't buying it,
putting it in my veins. And that's the whole thing
about the drugs chain. A mother fucker, could hand you a balloon, You don't even know what's in it, but you open it up and put a
spoon, cook it up and slam it. You don't even know what's
in the fucking spoon. But you already gave your money away, dude already gave it to you, and you're so fucked up in your addiction, where you ain't even, really
worried about what's in there. I've had shit turn purple,
and I still slammed it. And the shit turned purple. I put it in there, and then the rig, and it turned fucking purple Fuck it, I ran with it. That's the type of mentality that I had, ever since I was young. With the PCP that I started with, fuck it. I started selling Coke, fuck it. I started selling dust, fuck it. I always just say fuck it. I'm going to sell as much as I can, But see, I was the type
of drug dealer where, I never used a scale. And I always felt that, if I don't use a scale, I'm gonna to give you what
you're satisfied with, and what I'm satisfied giving you. So now we both walk away happy. But you also walk away with knowing in your back of your head, that if you go to him, he's gonna give you point for point. If you come to me, I'm gonna give sum of
what you're paying for. and some. So guys are gonna come to me. Other guys get mad but,
they don't want to do that. They don't want to fork up a little bit, like make, a small
sacrifice in the beginning, to get that large reward in the end. A lot of these guys don't
look at it in the future, they only look at it,
right then and there. And drugs come and drugs go. You got drugs, you the dealer, you got mother fuckers
running to the store, getting you soda, getting your water, you got a bitch rubbing your feet, trying to braid your hair. I mean, they doing and everything because, you got the biggest sack. But let a mother fucker walk in with more, that whole crowd will
just shift right to him. Without even a second thought
of, Oh, we left this guy, no conscience whatsoever. I noticed now that the fentanyl does that. Me myself I don't fuck with fentanyl. I don't encourage anybody to,
but, you have to remember, that fentanyl, is uncontrollable. Once you OD on it, it's very, very hard to bring you back. I know, I brought individuals back, maybe six total, on fentanyl,
and I hit them with NARCAN, it didn't do a fucking thing. Hit him again with the NARCAN, not a fucking thing. After the third or fourth hit of NARCAN, they start coming to. With heroin, one hit of NARCAN, (fingers snapping) your back, and you jump up Fentanyl, you slowly get up. Then once you get up, you want to lay back down. Because if you have to lay back down, they just give you NARCAN. Some guys think, Oh, I slammed,
fell down, give me NARCAN I'm gonna get up and
I'm gonna go slam again. No, you could slam your
whole fucking batch, and you ain't gonna to feel the shit. NARCAN along with, Suboxone, have, what you call, a blocker. They block off. So, with heroin you induce your, I can't get the word right now, but there's some type of, thing in your brain that, endorphins, you release endorphins, and the only other way they
say you can release that kind of endorphins, is with total excitement. but like uncontrollable excitement, you can release endorphins and fell the same way you feel when you're on heroin. And I always heard, heroin
was the main thing here. When I got into heroin,
yeah , in the beginning, it was the main thing. It used to be good, to get high on heroin. You use to feel good,
run around feeling good. Once, you get used to doing heroin, you get strung out, it's no longer about getting high anymore. It's about getting straight, getting well, and some guys get well on a dime, some guys take some
whole gram to get well. I'm the type of individual, I'm just going to do
some, then a little more, then a little more, because, you can always do more, but you can never take off. If you do too much, you're just fucked. So I always encouraged people, just do half, then do the other half, then the other half, don't
do the whole fucking thing. 'Cause you, once you put in your vein, you can't take off no more. It's all there. And, I know, just recently IOD. And when IOD, I knew I was going to OD, so I told my ex
girlfriend, get the NARCAN, and that's all, I said. When I woke up, came through, I was already walking around but it's just that, I knew, that I was going to OD. And the reason I knew I
was gonna OD is because, I actually felt, like
somebody grabbed the back of my head, and was trying to push
me forward to the ground. And I was trying to push back up, and they would push me to the ground. And then, fuck, I'm going to OD, 'Cause ,I felt that before, but only to an extent. It never went, and it just kept going. That's when you know you're going to OD, when it just keeps going. Always with heroin,
there's a certain limit, 'Cause you already slammed it, You know that it's going to hit that boom. And you're like, okay,
I'm good, it's cool. But with fentanyl, there is no limit. 'Cause there is no rush. And that's what I don't understand. People slam heroin,
because they want the rush. The other shit don't give you a rush. Fentanyl doesn't give you a rush. Heroin stays, like three, four hours. Fentanyl stays for 15 minutes,
10 minutes at the most. Then you going to get high again. I hear the gentlemen that say, "Oh, I don't fucking roll
with needles anymore, I don't poke my vein anymore". Yeah, you smoke, on tin foil. "But I don't Poke my veins". And Hey, that's cool. Because I know once you
poke your veins for so long, they just start hiding, they start disappearing. I used to have them everywhere. I was a hiders dream, but, little by little as the years passed, they just all went away. They all went away, and
that happens with drug use. You're going to abuse your body, your teeth are going to fall out, you're going to get skinny,
and you get white hair, all that's going to happen. And you know it's going to happen, but, yeah, you keep going, like me. I know what's coming, but I'm welcoming it, because
I'll keep going for it. I've, dealt drugs, all my life. And I can sit here and honestly say, the best time in my life, was when I wasn't around drugs. When I didn't deal drugs. I had the most things, and they were all mine, and they were all bought and paid for. I had a brand new car, a
nice home and a nice family. Drugs, took all that away, in a matter of, Shit, weeks. It just came, and just
took everything I had. I honestly sat there, with everything, and said I'm not supposed
to be sitting right here. I'm not supposed to be the
guy that is successful, that could sit in his living room, and watch a screen TV,
and watch a game on it. No, I'm not supposed
to be in this position. So, I set myself up for
failure, from the beginning. I might've put a number there on a goal, and I was going to reach it, but all along, I was fucking myself because, it's a true fact, You don't get high on your own supply. And that's a fact. And they say it all the time. I know that is a fact now, because if I'm going to do something, I ain't going to fuck with it. Because right there you make money, It's just like life. I said, the best time in my
life, is when I wasn't on drugs. When I wasn't around drugs, that was the best time in my life. I had the most things,
I had the best time, I felt the best, and I didn't do one drug. I didn't even take an aspirin. But, drugs called me back. One thing about drugs is,
are always going to be there. They're never going to go away. There always going to be there. And there always going
to be another dude to step up and sling it. They could bust one guy, another guy's going to come in his place. Burst his girls, more girls are going
to come in their place. And, the drugs always going to be there. It's like, now I got myself
off the issue by this, Now I got myself, a place by
myself, I'm finally alone. And, it's cold at night. Sometimes it rains. I tell individuals out
here on the streets, to go home with me. So they can go to sleep, in
my house, where it's warm. They refused to go. In the rain, they only got a tent, soaking wet, and they
don't want to go with me. And I was asking myself, Why in the fuck, would a mother fucker
not want to go with me, when I'm offering them
a shower, a warm bed, something to eat, and let's
kick it and get high homie. And no, they'll stay on the streets. And I asked why, and, I found the answer. They gave me the answer. The answer they gave me was, they didn't want to miss anything. That was their answer. They didn't want to miss anything. They feel from going in my
house and going kicking back that they're missing some money or some doses getting coming
they're going to be able to get high on, with so-and-so. They're playing the hope
funeral not the dope funeral. They're not going to getting
the dope, they're getting high, they're hoping that
someone will come along and get them high. That's a hope thing. But that's the drug thing. I wanted to share a
little bit today about it because I've been involved in a lot of it, and there's only two things
that come out of drugs. Either you go to jail for a long time or you die. Nothing else is going to come from that. There are guys that made it to the top and they're way up there. I bet they didn't sleep comfortable. I know they don't sleep comfortable. If I owed a lot of money, we don't see it but it's
probably in the background but I just share it because, I smoke weed today in front of
anybody, wherever it's legal, I wish they would legalize a lot of drugs that would eliminate a lot of bullshit. But due to the fact that
someone at the needs that money, drugs ain't going nowhere. They're always going to be here. It's just achieve you're going to make it a part of your life. And I seen them making
the part of their life or not to make it a part of their life. Somebody could be functioning an addict. They get high every day and
hold a job and hold a family and do it until they die. More power to them, I can't. Once I get high, it's about me. My family comes second. Drugs is first. Whether I'm slinging it
or whether I'm doing it they come first before everybody and they've been like that. I'm not going to sit here and lie and tell you that drug
don't come before my family, yes, they do. Because they're the first one that I think about it in the morning. The last thing I think
about going to sleep. And that's what I think
about all day long. I don't think about my family when I go to sleep or when I wake up. Through the day, sometimes. But no, they're second
when it comes to drugs because that drug is the first
thing I want in the morning, that's the first thing I want to see, that's the first thing I want to feel, that's the first thing
want to glance back at when I walk out of my house. It's just, that's the way it is. And that's what drugs will do. So again, you want to
get involved in drugs, hey, more power to you, I hope the best for you, I hope you're the best
drug leader in the world. Hope you get everything you want. But remember, there's always
that flip side of the coin. You can end up in jail
for the rest of your life or kill the wrong person because
of a drug, bad drug deal. There's dudes out there that are key for an ounce a weed, man. You got to be real careful because some guys are really
serious about their drugs and their money. So, be careful when you go out there and you start experimenting drugs. Remember, they're always
going to be there. See, you don't have to
get involved right now, once you get your shit together
when you're 50 years old, you got your own house. And don't get involved in drugs. Will you have your own home, you're going to die at that home. Don't do it now, now you got to stick, You still going to go get everything. I wish I would did that. I wish I would've got everything first, and then just threw my hands up and said, 'Fuck it, let's get high now
for the rest of my life.'. It would've been all better like that but I'm going back and forth, I'm still in that fold. I encourage anybody, I advise anybody, man, once you like 45, 50, if you're going to get involved in drugs. Even by then, you won't want to but,
get your house and cars and everything before you do drugs. Because believe me, if you're
going to get house and cars, the drugs is going to take that too. And if the drugs won't take
it, the cops will take it. Somebody is going to
come along and take it. So that's my life, and
that's what(mumbles). - [Interviewer] All right Jonathan, Thank you very much. - [Jonathan] Oh yeah, I
got, I had two more months, I'm writing them down right now, 'cause I want to get them in my head...
