Officially the Worst Movie Idea Anyone's Ever Had | Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder

hello Internet I am Daniel O'Brien and welcome to another episode of obsessive pop-culture disorder the only show on the internet that is this show today's episode explores I'm gonna pitch you a movie so pretend you're a movie executive good it's about a couple named Steve and Carol they have a wonderful relationship and everything is going great until one day carol gets pregnant and Steve's deep dark secret is revealed his entire family is dwarves now this least the central conflict of the film is Carol brave enough to keep this baby knowing it might be a little person pretend I stress that it's not a comedy it's very very serious and let's say for argument's sake that my name is Wiener I've just pissed us-- mr. wieners very serious [ __ ] movie now pretend I'm not [ __ ] with you because I'm not because this movie is completely real back in 2003 while some people were making Return of the King or x2 x-men United a director writer crew and cast of legitimately already famous actors were making tiptoes one of the top five movie starring Gary Oldman has a little person that came out that year there's one small problem hi I'm Rob I'm his brother with twins are your parents yeah the movie named one of my all-time favorites by the idiotic host of stupid internet show and described by at least one critic as a movie focuses on Kate Beckinsale's Carol as she struggles with a tough decision of whether or not she can keep and raise a baby knowing it might be little but like longer than babies are supposed to be eventually she decides that she can love this baby even if it is a little person because of course she can because obviously she can but because this movie apparently has a quota for people for whom dwarfism is a problem Matthew McConaughey Steve switches sides early in the film he's defensive and supportive I think you're gonna let me know that everyone in your pants is a [ __ ] they're not midgets Carol adores laughs but once Carol gets onboard he switches to being offensive get really that big of a deal if her kid does it to war they eventually get divorced when it becomes clear that Steve whose entire family remember is dwarves doesn't respect dwarves enough to properly care for his own child so the baby is left with Carol don't try to make sense of it I have so much more to say rounding out the cast and proving that there is literally not a single role that he can't nail Gary Oldman who plays a character that is both Matthew McConaughey's twin brother and a little person and he pulls it the hell off also he sounds almost exactly like Jeff Foxworthy so you know if that's the thing that you're looking for in a movie this one has that knocked up this great girl and you didn't tell her that her babies probably gotta be little let that be your little secret the movie also features Peter Dinklage who is predictably awesome as the French gun-toting Marxist and our kiss to Maurice and Patricia Arquette who well this is also in the movie those who are only really around to undercut the film's bizarreness with a different kind of dishonest if a scene where Carol and Steve argue about whether or not they want to keep their baby feels too heavy or insulting they just cut away to Maurice and Patricia Arquette's character having a picnic or making out or pointing guns at things the film also contains a side story where david alan grier in a distractingly terrible wig places celebrity who only wants to have sex with little people unfortunately I don't think I'll have time to cover it except what's that oh I'm being told that actually I just covered literally everything about that subplot right here in this sentence so okay the film ends whenever you decide to stop watching it depending on your threshold for terrible movies for some of you this will come at the point where Matthew McConaughey so distraught at the fact that his baby is going to be a little person punches a hole in the wall of his delivery room others will check out almost immediately after they realized they're watching a movie about little people called tiptoes personally I watch the whole thing because if I don't finish a movie after I've started it I get terrible headaches that no doctor has been able to explain having seen all of it I'm going to get into some spoiler territory now so please mute your computer's if you don't want me to ruin the ending for you the movie blows well that's all for today tune in next week when our topic will be runaway jury best movie ever or just another movie that also exists I have in your host Daniel O Brien and I'm sorry for introducing you to tiptoes I love it so I'm not that sorry hi I'm cracked sauron buoy subscribe and I'll show you how strong I am I did it Hey

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,197,735

Rating: 4.9467378 out of 5

Keywords: Tiptoes, Cracked, Dan O'Brien, Matthew, McConaughey, little people, Peter Dinklage, Gary Oldman, Kate Beckinsale, dwarf, comedy, funny, parody, sketch, Spoof, Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder, Satire (TV Genre), Humor, Sketch Comedy (TV Genre)

Id: edhFknyvLRY

Length: 5min 17sec (317 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 09 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

This was honestly unbelievable and shocking. I was stunned to find this actually existing on IMDB!

[u/[deleted]]

What the fuck?

[u/Vachementbon]

Peter Dinklage discussed the movie and said it was good till the producer decided to turn it from a drama into a weird romcom and fired the director and totally screwed up the movie.

Dinklage didn't seem to be offended by Gary Oldman playing a dwarf. This year's sure to be Oscar winner Patricia Arquette played Dinklage's gf. Arquette was McConaughey's gf at the time.