Norm Macdonald Sh*tting on Andy Richter

it's interesting story I say this week right on Rikers Island there they have been they banned like two months ago they banned pornography on any porno magazines from the from the prison you know because I don't know why they did it but now and now I just read the headlines sure you don't need to know that part right who cares about that part right but now they had to bring it back this week so they had a compromise they're allowing one porno magazine only one only one unfortunately the porno magazine that they're putting in is hairy guys ass Illustrated really well if you're going to only allow one I would think that's the one you know probably is it good you know it's not it's not all just picture nowadays the articles are good actually good articles on if you're buying a home went home to buy good areas to load they're a good stereo advice yeah killer crossword puzzle it's just a good publication all right yeah I just I just read it for hairy guys - we'll see that's you Andy just people are all different for the show the last week you went to the hairy guys ass mansion [Applause] Andy has all the fun he gets to all the big celebrity parties him and Jimmy Caan all right so you think goal is what I do like to depict camp I like camp oh yeah here that's for anything you hear that quote he said he said he's he's closer to minorities than the other candidates because he says he showered with a lot of black guys did you hear that what he said cause he used to be on the Buffalo Bills but he was a football player is that true he said that yeah they said that the other day said he has the closest feels for the minority because these showers it's the only black guy mm-hmm but you know I don't know if that well how do you want to pick your presidents right there's a lot of black guys I don't know I mean you're picking doors if you can do an impression yeah your reasons aren't much better if I was gonna take a guy just because he showers a lot of black guys that fish and beer something like that Wow this is like college bar he was yeah in every branch of the Armed Forces you ever hear oh ah Norman Fowler from Three's Company yeah mr. Roper yeah yeah I'm not a good hero it's all I got better than this guy's hero is some gay porn actor gay porn okay no thanks I'm a gay porn seriously okay that doesn't mean a guy's gay I'm not saying that because the guy watches gay porn all the time single just if not important I enjoy gay porn I'm not gay gay porn is a genre that just cuts across all demographics you know young people old people straight people the gay people enjoy and everybody likes gay porn but this guy really likes [Applause] patriotic music playing behind that speech to talk about ruin my reputation if anybody's girls he does this happen every time you try and talk about Bob Dole that was but listen Big Bob Dole I love this guy he's my hero he's always been my hero last 18 years yeah since I was very young and I always like Bob Dole and so as a very oh there's an honor to know it sounds weird cuz I was talking about gay porn but I don't I'm questioning your ability to continue here before I start with my jokes I just want to say like I said I said a thing on last show about Andy enjoying gay porn just a stupid thing to do well I guess it was all forgotten and so he just brought it up so you know I'm like gay boy stand Gabe or no thing so if you're getting me a birthday present no gay [ __ ] you know you know that's great because it really cleared the air I understand you let you take went pretty seriously the Catholic holiday I went yeah case well I have to give up stuff on lint so every year on Lent I give up stuff and I made up a list you know oh really stuff that I gave up uh-huh so I have it here in my pocket I read it I would let me hear what norm gave up for Lent yeah okay yes this is a list of things that I gave up for Lent okay ready I gave up powerlifting I didn't write it yet huh and then I gave up lifting of any kind okay that's good and then I gave up I gave up dressing up like an incubus now that people know what it is you know not gonna do that now and then I gave up this is it this is a good this isn't a good one I gave up feeding my cat you gotta break that habit that's a good time to do that that's all and then I spent I gave up spending thousands of dollars trying to methodically seduce Andy's wife that's very nice good for you Oh any idea that any other wife [Applause] [Music] there's a girl right I don't like dude well baby what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a quick break and then we're all gonna confer with our lawyers and then there we're gonna come back and we'll have a more efficient or McDonald in just a second [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] all right we're back everybody stop comparing notes on gay porn I know we were actually talking about the Sports Illustrated the swimsuit issue oh yeah yeah you guys like that issues least favorite sports Andy you don't get quick said you know I know I'm just gonna stay very still it'll go something bad here in you're in Los Angeles now okay and you're doing this show do you like you like that LA you like it there yeah I I don't like it that much no why why don't you like it there it's beautiful and you know yeah yeah well it's it's hot you know it's really hot and is that what you're getting to I don't know I thought you had a story about being in LA you want to talk about me get some more through the storm yeah you said you were carrying bags of groceries exactly that's the story but it started off with it's hot was hot in LA and this is a bad lame story so we get this right you can't remember it we just revealed that we talked about in the hallway beforehand and now you're telling people it sucks you want to go for it yeah I want to see him do it now so they set up a lot we're gonna make me cry I believe this is all spontaneous sorry Junior you don't like Kelly cuz it's hot I was talking to Andy before the show and apparently I made a mistake one time in this show where i intimated that maybe Andy was into gay porno but now I do which he was not where she's not into and I never meant to intimate that he was gay in any way just that he had an obsession by watching gay porn [Applause] what's not to like I said so I said I'm sorry he said you know I said I'm sorry about that right okay and I said I would never mention again his alleged obsession with gay porno right and I want that name we're gonna run that on a loop wait it over and over again he's got a wife yeah what are you talking about I know that is you have ever better yes okay that's what I'm trying to tell the people I don't want them to think that Andy's in the game there's nothing wrong with being gay it goes awry that's when it's the worst thing you could be as gay when you're not gay right hey I'm gonna miss Andy on this show man yeah he's gotta live how bad as that huh [Music] move booing yeah he's just you killed everyone's joy tonight no I swear to god though you got a great you sit on a couch for the living you should think about not giving that that's a great job you sit on a couch yeah and you sit on a chair it got it got to be too much though I'm looking at tone it down a bit but you're a great man and I'm gonna miss you on the internet they start like right and Steve Andy [Laughter]

Channel: I'm not Norm

Views: 322,749

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Id: JIarRV2DHjo

Length: 11min 26sec (686 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 08 2019