Norm Macdonald as Andy Rooney

as the old refrain goes people who need people are the luckiest people in the world and then there's andy rooney i'd like to take a moment to talk to you about people people are everywhere nowadays it seems like you can't go anywhere without bumping into some people people follow you when you're shopping they ask you for directions and sometimes they ask you what time it is people never know what time it is they have to ask you there are over 4 billion people in the world that's a lot of people and i suppose most people like each other all right but i don't i don't like people and i never have i guess that makes me bad advertisers are always using people to help sell their products here's something called corn flakes it's got a picture of some people on the box i i guess we're supposed to think well these people like corn flakes i guess i will too but i don't think that i don't like people and i don't like pictures of people either there's even a magazine now about people it's called people magazine this issue has a picture of some fellow's head on it bet that's a good article here's a box of letters from different people seems there's nothing people enjoy more than writing me letters here's one from washington this one's from ohio here's one from north dakota this one's from paris texas now i don't know where paris texas is but i do know this i'm getting pretty tired of cities in texas naming themselves after cities in france here's one here's one from chicago this one's from iowa here's one from iowa two this one's from montana here's one from some place called kansas city here's one from wisconsin this one's from arizona here's one from las vegas here's one from virginia oh and here's another one from west virginia this one's from indiana i don't know where this one's from but it's yellow and it has a big stamp on it this one's from colorado [Applause] here's one from michigan i receive about 100 of these letters every single day i never open them i don't like opening them i set fire to them then i pour water on the box of burning letters to put out the fire then i take the whole mess and i dump it out my window on the people below people don't like that much but i like doing it to them i suppose that makes me bad we'll be back next week with another edition of 60 minutes [Music] and now a few minutes with andy i have quite a few bad habits which i'm not going to talk about now because i only have a few minutes but swearing and using dirty words is not one of my vices i don't use foul language and i don't like to hear anyone else use it either it doesn't make me a wonderful person but i like this about myself or i wouldn't be telling you about it you don't hear dirty words on broadcast television very often except on cable and satellite because 30 years ago the federal communications commission banned their use in broadcasting was the right thing to do but i know what words i think are okay to use and which ones are not and i don't need the fcc to tell me what they are later this year the supreme court will be deciding whether some broadcasters should be fined by the fcc for the brief use of those dirty words they call them fleeting expletives no one has ever explained what harm dirty words do but it's like bad manners i mean life is a bootstrap operation and dirty words may not be much but they diminish the quality of all our lives by just a little bit i think if the federal communications commission left broadcasters alone there would be very little profanity on the air because most people just don't want it and if listeners don't want it broadcasters wouldn't give it to them i was in the army for four years i know all the four words i just don't want to be reminded of them on broadcast but i don't want a lot of government agencies trying to regulate what i can say or hear on the air either language is one of the best tools ever invented for anything and english is by far the best language we should be careful using it though so i'll damn well decide for myself what i can say and what i can't say i'm scott pelley we'll be back next sunday with another edition of 60 minutes

Channel: I'm not Norm

Views: 64,929

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Id: BPwLp59bkmE

Length: 6min 24sec (384 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 11 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/Exact_Source760]

4 billion? How old is this???? Must have been nice.