No, THIS is why Norm MacDonald should roast Obama, Part 1/2

now the radio and television Correspondents Association dinner the annual event took place last night at the Washington Hilton Hotel here in the nation's capital speakers include President Clinton CBS News anchor Dan Rather and comedian Noor McDonough tariqa continuing with this saturday night live' theme our next speaker is currently in his fourth season on that show he doesn't do an impression of the president but he does a great impression of Bob Dole Andy Rooney Charles Kuralt recently he ranked number 2 on Rolling Stones list of the 101 best things about watching television and once a week he gets a taste of our jobs when he anchors that programs Weekend Update please join me in welcoming Norman Donald all right I won't be as funny as that last bit just so you know you know well I'll get evening mr. president his first lady and the distinguished members of the radio and television Correspondents Dinner you know when I accepted the honor of performing here tonight one thought crossed my mind and that was please God don't let me bomb in front of the President I'm not worried what the hell do I care you know I got I worked on all my jokes I got a lot of help from for my joke writer Don Imus use help me alive are you familiar you know this guy he's a funny guy he wrote some jokes anyways the dinner was great you enjoy the dinner we had some salmon that was delicious it was great and I thought it was new I thought was refreshing to see Democrats serve something other than the subpoenas for a change I thought that was nice you know I'll be doing some jokes later I just thought I'd but you know it is rather daunting to me I'm just a guy you know the hell of it and Here I am you know I look out I see President Bill Clinton you know I see Secretary of State Madeleine Albright you know media mogul Rupert Murdoch you know broadcast legend Larry King you know pornographer Larry Flynt you know Dick Morris the list is starting to drop off a little folks but you got the idea it's daunting and of course it was very inspiring to see President Clinton up here on crutches making a speech I mean I thought that was just amazing you know I mean it's been difficult for the president you know he can't jog now and he needs help getting around and he's still you know he's still occasionally suffers great pain you know on the upside you got your medical marijuana so that's you must inhale sir it's the only way you're going to get better it's but but inside I mean I think this is the first time that I can remember that we've had a president that there's hobbled you know and it's tough on everybody the Secret Service is not easy on the Secret Service they have had to learn you know how to how to do this and they've been specially trained on how to lift and carry president clinton by a top experts who've been doing this for a long time boris yeltsin's Secret Service agents they've they stepped into health you know anyways sees me I'm sorry folks larry flynt and dick morris are getting some sort of hand signals to each other over there I can't I don't know what the hell that's all about but it's kinda hard to concentrate well there he flint is here tonight but also present this evening Madeleine Albright the Secretary of State miss Albright it's been very busy you know she just returned from Russia where is she you know applied for she's been very busy she just went to Russia where she met with Boris Yeltsin you know and they they had some talk on a native expansion I guess they kind of had a tense meeting you know and miss Albright came back out she said she said for this I traveled 5,000 miles to meet with some drunken mashugana on my worst enemy I wouldn't wish this she's changed you know that's right fine she's but of course looking around the room I also see many distinguished members of the Fourth Estate I see Bryant Gumble is here and he just signed a multi-year contract of course with CBS and you know he took some time off to be with his family after the Today Show but but Bryant in his heart you know is a newsman and and after a few weeks he realized you know that he missed the excitement and thrill that you can only get by making millions and millions of dollars so and Dan Rather of course is here is a broadcast legend I love dan Rather you know I I talked to him backstage and it was a real thrill for him you know and he was just he was so excited to be here you know I was backstage well I've never seen him so excited at one time at one moment I remember he broke into a huge frozen smile and it was there it is again there are those take a look that's the huge frozen smile on Darla uh we got a lot of power here a lot of juice mr. ruhle Arledge is here of course the chairman of ABC News you know and a lot of crazy stories come out of that division you know you know stories about this person sleep over that person and all their you know scandal after scandal and if you heard the latest they heard this just the other day there's a rumor that last week a certain I don't want to say it as a certain gentleman and ABC News he went to a party and he got really drunk and he ended up having sex with his own wife I don't know I don't know how these rumors get started but you know it's probably just a vicious rumor really yeah but as mr. Rutledge knows of course TV has become a very tough game you got to stay competitive you know as we all know ABC's Good Morning America's and a little turmoil you know old trouble well rating trouble and they're considering a lot of ways now you know to to boost the ratings and I don't know I think they're getting a little desperate I I heard that next week Charles Gibson will announce he's a lesbian I mean is that second it help anything nobody wants to hear that Martha Stewart is here and she wanted me to tell you don't let the Busboys clear your table out tonight because a little later Martha will come up here and she's gonna show us how to take those old discarded fishbones and make a beautiful birdhouse I'm very nervous I don't know why before I sent this coffee actually sir how much is this how much how much would a cup of coffee cost in a place like this nothing it's free okay great I didn't want to get you know I didn't want to see 90,000 dollars on my bill later now of course there are some important Washington figures who couldn't be here tonight Vice President Al Gore is not here unfortunately he he broke down they had to leave him in the shop overnight but they say all right literally summer on with the voice boxers I'm not on oh what a blessing House Speaker Newt Gingrich is not here a little while back of course everybody knows that Newt pushed through a lot of budget cuts in the arts particularly in PBS you know and the effects are being felt now I can see it even as a as a as a layman you know just watching you know the other day I I watched that show the the frugal gourmet the change his name to the cheap bastard it's crazy and Senator Ted Kennedy couldn't be here I yeah you know you know there's a lot of jokes about Ted Kennedy but I recently watched an interview he's very touching you know as Ted was talking about our mr. Kennedy what the hell I call him Ted for senator Kennedy was was talking about how he how he proposed to his lovely wife Vicki Reggie and it was it was very touching you know it was a different side of Ted Kennedy they don't see he was a very old-fashioned or romantic you know when he made the proposal it was very nice he got up on one knee and he it was nice you know you hear all the stories but then you hear something like that you know relation I'm starting to relax now you know I think I'm relaxing alone that's not just the booze talk and I think I really am relaxing it's the xanax the Prozac and the booze talking but I'm a little nervous you know the hell am i but

Channel: HopeForTheDead

Views: 6,477,729

Rating: 4.599884 out of 5

Keywords: Norm, MacDonald, SNL

Id: d5kpXhq5nHM

Length: 10min 39sec (639 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 10 2009

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