No, THIS is why Norm MacDonald should roast Obama, Part 2/2

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so just the booze talk and I think I really am relaxing it's the xanax the Prozac and the booze talking but I'm a little nervous you know I mean who the hell am i but it's been great to be in Washington I can tell you that man oh my god I had a lovely stay here so far I've been sightseeing you know and in fact I stopped in a museum that's probably interesting to you guys they have this news museum now if you seen this it's a museum that's dedicated to broadcast journalism and they have all sorts of you know tributes to to Edward r murrow and such you know and that is one fascinating place it's a kind of an interactive display and visitors what they can do is they can appear on camera and pretend that they are real journalists you know so far has been visited 20 times by Matt Lauer but tough I guess he's a legend too I didn't know yet Moreau severide Edwards and Lauer all right and also today I took a visit to the White House for any of you haven't taken a visit the White House unbelievable so you know on spiring and you know very lot of rich in history so beautifully you know although I did dad know it's a kind of an odd sign on the President's desk it said the yen stops here have you seen the hell's that mean the end I thought was the buck stops here at I was hurt you know of course they say the white house is haunted did you know that and I thought this was kind of sad I heard last night that President Clinton charged Abraham Lincoln's ghost 10,000 to sleep in his own bed so that's that doesn't seem right to me you know I mean but like the president you know has come under a lot of fire for raising money but you know you know he's good at he's good at raising money that's not a bad thing every president's done it's just the president clinton is very very very good at it you know he has organized the past year over 100 fundraising dinners and over 200 fundraising midnight snacks did you know that is he laughing is it now the president mr. president seriously you know I know you've had to work through a lot of distractions and doing the business of running this country now I just want to say you know that I implore you stay focused and do the job and and try to remember you know that that Rome was not built in a day you know I mean just ask Strom Thurmond he'll tell you it's it was not built in a day if he's an old fella you know folksy how would you not know that oh I have an announcement to read I almost forgot I was supposed to I was told to make this announcement at Table ten wherever you are at Table ten we're sorry your waitress hasn't been there in a while Larry King just married her so so I have to say though you know this is an incredible thing for me you know I'm just a punk you know and yet here I am you know I can't believe I'm speaking in a room I'm standing in a room here with the most powerful man in the country Alan Greenspan you know and I it's a little amazing to me it's a little you know first that's the big story enira in Washington is the the recent marriage between NBC's Andrea Mitchell and alan greenspan who was 71 years old and this is sweet you know I didn't know this they wrote their own vows you know she she promised to love honor and speak into his good ear so that was it's kind of sweet you know the the newlyweds they're going to spend their honeymoon in Mexico and I thought this was sweet as a gift to his new bride Alan Greenspan just devalued the peso so that they'll be nice a little bit more makeup anyways you know just occurred to me mr. president you are now handicapped and you're the President of the United States you must have an unbelievable parking spot you know it's how to be very close to the building you know but you gotta hand it to the president his injury is not holding him back from doing the business of the nation you know in fact he's just nominated Major General Claudia Kennedy as the Army's first female three-star general I think that's great you know she's doing a great job apparently the only thing she's having trouble with she's she's having difficulty figuring out how to sexually harass herself she doesn't know it what's that guy yells my name for no reason oh I have another announcement to make is that what you're you're telling me but I should make this announcement you're right you make a good point with your incoherent gibberish here it is here's my other announcement the US State Department folks has just issued a travel warning for all women moving past dick Morris's table so I don't I don't know well that's about it for me I just want to tell about this heaven gates call this is what everybody's talking about it's unbelievable and it really is a sad story and it's hard to comprehend I mean think about it who in their right mind would believe that you get into a spaceship behind a comment by castrating yourself and committing suicide I mean other than Pierre Salinger who on earth would believe I just saw them on the lobby with a pair of sneakers Nike sneakers a big purple shred but where are they hey don't miss it well that's it for me folks I just want to say you know before I go that it really has been a thrill for me I joke around about the news you know but you people you do the real thing and you serve as our watchdogs and you tell the real stories to come out of this city and I for one you know think you do a darn good job and tomato fact I have a message from someone who couldn't be here wanted me to read it to you this is from Matt from Senator Bob Dole he wanted me to read this to you here it is this is it this is from from Senator Bob Dole ladies and gentlemen of the press the hell with Alia cost me the damn election you can kiss my ass every last one here thank you folks thank you very much thank you very much norm I guess you can turn to the IMS program tomorrow and see how you did right c---span will re-air the radio and television Correspondents Association dinner this weekend check our schedule hotline programming times today we'll bring you president

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Channel: HopeForTheDead

Views: 1,122,767

Rating: 4.8965616 out of 5

Keywords: Norm, MacDonald, SNL

Id: vRYE85AgiYo

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 9min 19sec (559 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 13 2009

Reddit Comments

Not really a joke about rape, per se, but Norm is The Man and always will be.

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ May 01 2016 🗫︎ replies