Newsroom: best moments

but Sharon the NEA is a loser yeah it accounts for a penny out of our paycheck but he gets to hit you with it anytime he wants it doesn't cost money it cost votes it costs airtime and column inches you know why people don't like liberals because they lose if liberals are so [ __ ] smart how come they lose so goddamn always hey and with a straight face you're gonna tell students that America is so star-spangled awesome that we're the only ones in the world who have freedom Canada has freedom Japan has freedom the UK France Italy Germany Spain Australia Belgium has freedom so 207 sovereign states in the world like 180 of them have freedom right and got you a sorority girl just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day there's some things you should know and one of them is there is absolutely no evidence to support the statement that were the greatest country in the world we're 7th and literacy 27th and math 22nd in science 49th and life expectancy 178th in infant mortality third and median household income number four in labor ports are number four in exports we lead the world in only three categories number of incarcerated citizens per capita number of adults who bleed angels are real and defense spending where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined 25 of whom are allies now know this is the fault of a twenty-year-old college student but you nonetheless are without a doubt a member of the worst period generation period ever periods when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world I don't know what the [ __ ] you're talking about Yosemite pivot can you move this Blackberry off the desk I can see it in the shot well can you move your blackberry off the desk that wouldn't have happened if you'd had one of those rubber protectors we have to change lenses no we're good Sloan how's her mood in there it's not good but let me ask you something for the sake of the story how would you feel about me going on the internet and saying vicious things about you that my care even started about misogyny what kind of vicious things III don't know what would the general area be I really don't know I'm something about the way you look like what I'd be making it up what would you be making up it wouldn't be true would be something like um something along the lines of she screwed away to the top and she's got a big ass don't you would have to listen to me Sam Pat do I okay I can do it you cannot if you want you can say that I made to the final round of the K through six regionals and these Scripps Howard spelling bee that's not a lot of guys like women with big people do they really never mind I don't know you're talking about and I have my own problems what's happening now and you peer pressure yeah be quiet this is a story okay we're getting information about protesters heading toward the presidential palace in Heliopolis I don't know anything about cuz you're in the Cairo Radisson you look happy about that it's hard for me to tell from the incredibly high resolution pictures were getting as frustrated as you are Don but I'm not sending an American journalist into that protest trust me I'm an American journalist that's the Walker press conference and the teachers in appleton unrendered anything on the way it was 17 seconds heavy on Bernanke which man we had to squeeze wait wait everybody watch this there's nothing to watch she has to subtract with her fingers I don't have to we were 17 seconds heavy on Bernanke which means we had to squeeze Bill Kristol down to what 2:13 and will took tap-dancing lessons when he was 11 we thought this old house was working on the same house everywhere everyone in the conference room and that was reasonable it took six months to build the city of Dubai you think they were renovating the same mid century colonial for 15 years that's good how many kitchens you think that I was happy that'll do let's get serious I'll begin by saying that will cries when he watches the movie we know I don't surprise like an onion onions make you cry they don't themselves experience emotional way you experience emotion when you watch Rudy one scene one woman one solo the jersey sing yes everybody crosses the Jersey say she had cheated on well by now we've all done that right I don't mean cheated I mean we've all hit the wrong key on this is Charlie Skinner putting this [ __ ] here we've got an anchor and an executive producer who used to be involved hi you've got 10 seconds to take your show gracefully commercial we're so help me Hannah they're not gonna be sitting in that chair when we come back oh well you get the picture we're gonna take a break and come back after the break this is ACN morning very graceful he's not in time I think he is Roberta done Reese get the [ __ ] out here Don he's not in oh God strong huh so do you know where he can be reached news night Thanks for washing us watching us let me get out of here will McAvoy is coming up with the Capitol report from Washington I'm Terry no wow that's not true and the broadcast I'm will McAvoy attaboy Terry Smith is coming up mercifully with the Capitol report from Washington good night have you tried ambien I don't want to wake up in the middle of the Triborough bridge even scrambled eggs in my pajamas how those eggs got into my pajamas oh never no you shouldn't do Groucho seriously you need to sleep are you gonna forget to thank people for watching us need you to fill in for Elliott at 10:00 why this five year olds having a tonsillectomy today Elliott's gonna spend the night in hospital with her was it an emergency no it was scheduled a week ago and you're just getting around to this now I forgot yes you have a staff they can write these things down they can but I have to remember to tell them do so what do you say you're my first and only choice what about Jerome he's in Bermuda Cathy that's her parents 50th anniversary Taylor I'm Titus so yes you were my fourth and only choice I can't host Elliot's show don't be ridiculous you host your own show at 4 o'clock about financial news you're expanding oh come on I gained four freaking pounds no professor right expanding yeah no I'm not doing it your copy you'll be written for you to approve you've got Marco Rubio Sandra Bernhard Sandra Bernhard's been dead for a hundred years that's Sarah Bernhardt she'd be a good guest I gave my life hmm nothing and the spokesperson for TEPCO I just got off the phone with him see you're perfect I was just doing a favor for these guys I don't know anything about my first five choices weren't available I thought they were only three let's not get caught up in the math if you want a wardrobe change after the four o'clock we have Gucci ready to send over some choices Gucci a whole rack of choices your copy will be ready for your approval after nine o'clock along with your questions and I will be in your ear the whole time except for Fukushima you're mostly throwing two packages they've been low-balling the radiation levels I take their word for it the Japanese have some experience with radiation do you think that sometimes not something you should mention on the air I'm sorry you got a second yeah I'll leave you Sloan this is Lonny you'll see him around good to meet you Wow can I talk your chest sure haha oh my god have you felt this back no I haven't yet I'll be downstairs okay so okay I know we were a sketchy ground ethically and linguistically but why are you gonna say save it for another ten seconds what happens in ten seconds - hang on for another five seconds to know that we've all been there at one point or another what happens please I have to fix this now help me I need wisdom I have wisdom Kenzi I love you but a Japanese man's honour is at stake and sometimes your wisdom leads to no I get it yeah well when was the last time you checked your emails 15 seconds ago when was the last time you did hmm look at your blackberry pass the baton okay not tonight but in days to come you'll look back and think that this moment was funny it's from 20 minutes ago yeah let's just say OBL reportable knock him dead just like we did who's it from Joe Biden we used to play softball together when he was in the Senate he knows something about the landing leg to give us a crash course in how best to exploit this tragedy and to erase all boundaries of what should be used as entertainment I've enlisted the help of a master of the dark arts I understand I'm needed thank you forget everything you know about the news done what's next you doing all right over there with him yeah yeah because you give me the signal and I can just get in there and you know what I don't know okay that's healing yeah John Sam Pat well problem with people who post on economy brain is they're not easily distracted damn those economists and their adult attention span they don't make it easy for me but a popular discussion at the moment is a recent article projecting US credit rating fallout as a result of the debt ceiling standoff yes I heard that on the news no wait I didn't I heard about Casey Anthony instead well that's right Johnson I said if I can balance my checkbook why can't the government balance its budget Mary Mother of God am i sick of that insane analogy balancing your checkbook is to balancing the budget as driving at the supermarket it's a landing on the moon see ah I got you a little upset yeah so once they were hooked on telling me how stupid I am I steered things in your direction how you really wanna know good tell me anyway I said the media and government are in a conspiracy cahoots my favorite secret hurts I have to sound authentically moronic how are the media and the government in a conspiracy cahoots by shoving your breasts in our face many angry posters came to defense fed so I created a second user account buyer and asserted it wasn't your breasts was so compelling it was your blatantly [ __ ] body movement what Evers do you use the most Elaine Khan your Wikipedia page D setting arise from small-town strip it's a big-time financial news reporter my Wikipedia page doesn't say that trick again you're going to see an emotional response on my face and a physical response directed at yours it was after two hours I had economic PhDs posting in all caps and then the site administrator froze the thread alright and this is enough to get you accepted into the fraternity of the pitiful almost there's a sort of pledge process for the fraternity of the pitiful and this will get me to level 1 once I do that I can get to level 2 in swimming the professional trolls you're gonna be good reporter and I like that someone's working on news stories well for what it's worth I could really get behind the government that was in a cahoots conspiracy to shove you press in our face mmm read my Wikipedia page see Don Keefer yeah how would you and the elliot hirsch like to have one of the debates eat me mr. Skinner I'm trying to be as different Don says he eat me that's usually the end of the conversation Sloan sabbith you want to be a star me yeah [ __ ] you I was just checking this I'll fix it yeah I've been asking get that back in there does it feel like something live certain things happening right now what is it I'm wearing I bought you some pajamas you like them how did I get into them the mass has changed you answered them while you were asleep what's wrong here he knocked out one of his chips don't play with these you really shouldn't so are you talking to me yeah and you know you're not speaking right now when you asked me why I was single and I said it was because you hadn't asked me out I thought it was my last day I know and honestly it just sounded like a good line I hardly ever planned those I took it as a joke you did I mean it was good all right I just heard something on company why don't you attack this woman shouldn't seem that threatening to me she's incredibly threatening my life is in constant danger when she's around I'm not in church mackenzie mchale attack no look I'll be here at 9:00 unless you're leaving the building in which case press pound 5 on your phone and I'll be here nice meeting you thanking you and it was a few minutes later that you had a heart attack but there's another part of the story that Dawn's going to tell you about that strongly suggests it was him and not me that precipitated the death of our very close friend and leader do you hear don't tell you that part of the story yes I do okay you came down here and insulted my anchor and demand to know why we didn't prepare a better interview let me add this to the conversation for two years I've been listening to people like you say they can't believe no one's been prosecuted for these Wall Street crimes and after two years I'm still fuzzy on what crime was committed and who should be prosecuted for it you're a financial news reporter who gets to spend an hour on one subject and I'm at least an average consumer of news and you have failed to get me to understand what you called the most important story of the last ten years so after you get done telling me how badly we did our job last night you may want to do an internal investigation of your own work is this anytime you want I know a song you like if you love somebody you follow wherever they go so I got you Memphis so I got to Memphis if you love somebody enough you'll go where your heart wants to do it's how I got to Memphis it's how I got to Memphis can you play that thing yeah go to the five I know if you'd seen her you tell me cuz you are my friend I've got to find her find out the trouble she's er the Jim Harper's here if you tell me she's not here I follow the trail of how I got to you get mad Jesus hey she'd go back to Memphis someday it's how I got you to Memphis it's how I got you I goodbye I haven't slept three days or nights twos to Memphis that's how I got to Memphis here comes a fancy solo I've gotta find her and tell her that I love her so I'll never rest till I find out why she had to throw thank you forgive me if I start to cry how I got to Memphis so I got to laughing

Channel: mib 910

Views: 2,267,132

Rating: 4.7931256 out of 5

Keywords: news newsroom, newsroom, jeff daniels, comedy, the newsroom, funny

Id: H2cSn8kCUgA

Length: 17min 37sec (1057 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 26 2014