NEVER Do Mushrooms At An Indian Wedding | Flagrant 2 with Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh

[ __ ] army don't ever say we leave you out of anything you understand okay we all went to this amazing indian wedding over the weekend you weren't there you thought that you were gonna miss you thought you weren't gonna have that unique cultural experience well you thought wrong okay because we bring that [ __ ] back we're bringing it to you [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] oh my god [ __ ] army what's up everybody welcome you thought you thought you were gonna miss the wedding of the century you thought you were gonna miss the celebration of the century you thought that you weren't going to be here for it but we brought it to you we always got your back oh my god i'm out of breath i'm so tired officially married akash singh over the weekend [Applause] oh my god navdeep was the drummer at your wedding yeah dull player what's it called dough player he was the dope player at the wedding i'm [ __ ] exhausted so i'm like josh i couldn't believe how to do that again you know holy [Music] listen we had an absolutely amazing time i'm not gonna make you stand there this whole episode and play but just for a few more minutes it'd be good um we are already recording akash yeah how do you feel that was the best weekend of my life dude it really was it really was i did not think it would be i thought it's a thing you do for the wife whatever i had so much fun so much love in the room yeah i'm tired real quick and dj chad they [ __ ] killed it yes they did great job dj chad i still haven't paid you but i think now we're good that's the most indian thing you've ever done he got paid too chad was like we're working out i was like we will i think we just did be honest is it annoying doing business with indians uh sometimes yes sometimes they haggle you a lot did i haggle though no you're fine yeah i was broken at that point whatever he wants y'all just do it i don't care i don't know how you kept your energy up the entire time it was unbelievable i don't either you were dancing literally for 48 hours straight yeah like every part is a [ __ ] day you have to dance every part because you're the groom so like if you're not dancing yeah who else is gonna dance yeah i normally dance a lot at weddings because it's fun and whatever but like as the groom if you're just like sitting out yeah what's everyone no one else can do anything yeah so like the whole party's like you gotta be dependent on you that's right if you're chilling you're not gonna do it now i will say this i thought it was very brave of you to um to to to i don't know how to what's the term uh become sick what is that convert yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh we were there for that conversion and i thought that that was very brave for you to give up your religion and give up you know everything your family is raising i think you converted yeah they try to suffocate me big body bells or something like that i forget the guy's name he's a big body sing or whatever big belly's saying yeah he tied my [ __ ] super tight and i had to run it back yeah he tied mine tight first and i was like this is really tight he was like yours and needs to be he's tired for the groom it's got to be extra like they've tied a very like a certain formal way and i was like this [ __ ] is i've had one tied before yeah this was super tight my neck was hurting like 30 minutes in my neck so luckily i think i danced so much in the but that the the sweat expanded it a bit ah so it wasn't as bad during the ceremony but i was dying i i had an absolutely [ __ ] amazing time at this wedding i do think that indian weddings are the best weddings i've been thinking about this a lot i have been too and i'm not saying this for a pandering reasons i think they are the best weddings and i and this is why um okay expectation as long as your reality exceeds the expectation you think it's an amazing time yeah right the cool thing about indian wedding especially is like a white person or non-indian that's going into it right is outside of my interactions with you yeah my only interactions with indians are in like the highest levels of professionalism right right a doctor don't be joking around with me that much if you're a doctor a dentist don't be kidding around don't show too much personality fix me bro yeah so you see like this muted version of indians right it's always in some sort of professional setting they're not being that silly because oftentimes the jobs they choose are very high stakes yeah you're the ceo of a company don't be kidding around guy who runs google makes her to google google time for that and then outside of that it's a very uh tightly knit community so there's not that many people from the outside that are going to get access to it right so the first time a lot of non-indians see indians actually be indian yeah it's at the wedding right we assimilate everywhere else everywhere else hey what do you do we'll figure it out we'll keep our stuff as much as we can but we're gonna assimilate to what you do indian wedding you're gonna assimilate to us yes and what's so interesting is the assimilation process is nothing yeah we're way more similar yeah do you like to party your asses off drink dance and the cool thing about it is the dancing is about enjoyment not romance yeah men dance with men yeah 100 percent old people dance with young people kids everybody was like a rave it was like just move your body remove your body whatever you got it's like burning man like a little yeah i literally thought of it but at no point in time we're like oh i think they're trying to hook up or that kind of stuff like that it wasn't sexualized it was just everybody go have a good time i didn't even think about that yeah i'm telling you man a really cool aspect was that when you see everybody dancing first of all indians can bust it down but there are also indians that can't but it seems like nobody's insecure to dance if you're a white person you're not dancing in no black wedding and if you are you're not dancing a latin wedding you're not making fool of yourself at a black or like there's no line dance where you got to get it right it's just good have fun that's how you get it right if you're having fun you're doing it right if you're not at least from the only lioness we have i didn't even hadn't even done this punjabi thing is called a real goody at the end where you just get in line everybody's runs around the room like a train yeah that's it there's no steps if you don't know the cupid shuffle you don't know the [ __ ] you out you look like a [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah you could run in a line man hands in the air like in the air one of the things about dancing i think it's most uncomfortable for people is they don't know what to do with their arms yeah so even if they are to step in they're like do i snap do i clap they don't know and then you guys just have it built in up in the [ __ ] area everything i told i was telling them people don't know what do you think this [ __ ] is black people not know what to do with their [ __ ] hands so they had to build it into the dance the macarena is all what do i do with my hands right i thought that was floating like trying to swallow the flock yeah that's what i thought it was i told every white person i was uncomfortable to dance you just gotta shrug and then do something with it just shrug on beat and then just do whatever you want and it all flies so we're watching everybody just like let loose and again i can't speak for you guys but that was my experience and i was like oh [ __ ] like i don't have to feel insecure everybody is either looking amazing or making a fool of themselves because it's all in the in the guise of fun as long as you're having fun you're doing the right thing yeah um also food yeah indian food is perfect wedding food yeah eating food is is stews yeah right like if you go to like wedding usually wedding food sucks yeah i didn't realize that it sucks like and it's like you don't want to make 300 steaks at one time dude you don't want to make 300 chicken parms at one time you know what i mean that's like lunchroom food for kids like that's the reason why it sucks when you go to public school you get like this little bag lunch it sucks because you have to make 300 the indian food is built for it yeah the longer it sits in the stew the better the better it gets yeah so we're having like this delicious food everybody's having a great time i mean it was just it was just amazing think about because my parents when they would when like i have all these indian kids i grew up with a few of my groomsmen you met i just their my our parents were friends had kids every weekend we go to each other's house they would just move the furniture in the living room and just put on music and dance that's what a party was to me i didn't know you like went out to clubs and [ __ ] like that yeah and there was always this thing they would do that i didn't realize i do it now all the time if you're not dancing they just pull you in and make you dance it doesn't [ __ ] there is no judgment there is no are you good or are you not just move your body have fun that's all we want yeah and i didn't even realize that until you said it just now that's what i do when i saw you guys at the bar on friday i was like where the [ __ ] are they i went looking for you and then i was like every one of you i was like get your ass on the floor yeah and then anybody that was insecure i would just yank them in or shove them to the center and just be like just go okay you know my girl is like she hates attention yeah right like she does not she was dancing in the middle of the circle yes that does not happen unless she feels incredibly she would never do that she was like this is actually this is what she said she's like there's actually great practice for our wedding i'm like you wouldn't dance in the circle yeah so it was just really cool to see that environment and that doesn't exist everywhere yeah i didn't even realize that and now you guys got something i was trying to think what are the best way or why are indian weddings so fun and i was thinking it's just any culture where family is really important the wedding is probably fun i've heard greek weddings are fired interesting because it's a big family culture italian weddings are probably fire because it's family and it's food so probably fire but then indian weddings we just india if you go to india it's just matte colors everywhere everywhere it's the best wedding man also just the idea that like you want people to embrace your culture and dress up yeah like it was [ __ ] halloween for us like we were going out here we're trying to match it like look at these things we kept them right we got sneakers so many people wanted to keep the bug the turban i was surprised yeah you kept yours so many people no you absolutely can't yeah just don't like throw them on the ground or whatever we don't mistreat it but everybody was like no i want to keep mine that wasn't indian the indians were like now you can have it you you'll hit this [ __ ] every once in a while when you say something nope no the pug was fire dude the [ __ ] fire and it was cool going to the good doorway good work yeah gurdwara this guy was telling me that um if you're if you're hungry anywhere in the world just go to a gurdwara yeah they'll feed you like they were feeding like the soldiers that they were fighting against yeah yeah yeah like crazy yeah it's a big thing it's called lunger and it's like a big like practice for six which is like we feed people who need food like even if we're beefing what's the real vision what's the actual name of the golden temple i forget the bar i'm on the sub they feed like 50 000 people a day that's crazy yeah um yeah i mean it was just really beautiful to like learn about that because we were in where the ceremony was uh that being said that's my last religious ceremony at a wedding i'm not i'm not gonna do anything i'm not gonna do anymore well yeah i'm i am sick actually you became sick i'm sick mark bentham can i tell you something sick this is something really important another thing indians won't do at their wedding this is really important they won't tell you any of the rules so you told us dress up in suits on friday we dress up in suits on friday we come saturday all the indians are in tuxedos and suits and we're the only ones dressed in indian outfits yeah you know what you could wear that's what i said when you were like hello we're looking like [ __ ] we look like we're making fun of the people there dude not at all it is you can wear western or eastern that's why when you ask why did you guys go western we would have went eastern with you guys on friday and here's why a lot of it if you go to a lot of indian weddings you can't really wear that suit again if you wear a suit as a dude you just mix and match shirt and tie and that's it so i don't need it's almost like you know how women need outfits for every wedding or whatever like if you wear that outfit again everybody's like yo you wore that [ __ ] if i have a suit i have a black suit i just change out the shirt and tie and i'm good right i have to buy a new one of those every single time i go to a wedding and so it's like i've been wearing the same suit for the last three years every single wedding your wedding sweating yeah my own wedding that's what we do same exactly i have one suit so it's easy for indian wedding it works to do both so i'm like i'll just wear the suit at night because then i just change out the shirt and tie i don't have to shop it's convenience it's a laziness all the eastern people know about it why are you making it we're not the only [ __ ] we showed up basically in blackface we're wearing brown shirts on saturday night and i had i was walking in the hallway and i saw your your cousin who's maybe the most handsome indian person i've ever seen in my mind he's a 2.0 and it really bothers me oh my god it's 2.0 that [ __ ] is so handsome he's like he's like yeah yeah remember when the terminator had to fight the liquid he's the liquid he's been here before what he you've met him i wouldn't remember i would have remembered he would have been spread blown man on some booty bread he told me he told me he said i couldn't even talk to him he's the same kid on earth don't be sweet yeah don't hear it almost slapped him in his mouth he goes you excited for tonight i was like keep staying excited [ __ ] yeah you clean his shirt off your stomach ah i'm telling you that was that handsome [ __ ] i was insecure talking to him bro yeah it felt uncomfortable and he was in a tux he goes oh you guys are going with the traditional attire tonight well i'm seeing him in the tux i'm like oh this [ __ ] is setting us up yeah yeah yeah you set up something little footage you set us up at the ceremony at the six ceremony you didn't tell me we were gonna be sitting there for four hours because we get into the room and i noticed that all the older i noticed all the people who like have pugs on and all the people who like look like they know what's up they found a wall they found a wall column archives father-in-law found a column in the middle this guy was on next level [ __ ] like there's not supposed to be a column in the middle he found the column in the middle i'm like why is everybody leaning on some [ __ ] i'm like yeah whatever and i sit next to a black dude i'm like how the [ __ ] am i following with him no clue what the [ __ ] is going on [Music] [Laughter] and then he starts going i'm looking at the itinerary we're doing i'm following all along i'm reading along because you can read along it and they they spell it in both the what is that sanskrit uh punjabi punjabi right and they got it in english uh letters but spelled so you could kind of pronounce it translation it was super it was great because i could hear him say it yeah when i saw it in like the american letters right or the english letters so i'm following along i'm like okay we go and then you guys start walking and then your brother-in-law andrew says all right listen this is it this is the thing like once he does the walk they are married oh it's lit so super slow walk around i'm like all right they're building attention it's super slow and then you get around sit back down i'm about to go crazy you're not supposed to clap but i'm like it's going and all of a sudden you get back up start walking around again i thought you [ __ ] it up running back right you got it you're like i'm super nervous i just don't want to [ __ ] up this is really important traditional stuff it's really important my girl's family so i'm seeing it in your eyes you're like i am not focused this is jordan game seven like jordan don't go to game and then you run it back again right and then you sit down again i'm like oh you did not just [ __ ] this [ __ ] up another time that's okay you could lose two away now we're at home yeah okay he's doing this [ __ ] like the bucks so he gets back up he gets back up you ran around third time no yep i had to turn to andrew and he was like no you have to go on four times then officially married yeah thank god bro hit that [ __ ] official yeah what i was laying down i'll be honest i tried to get the message out about the wall because i realized mad late i was like oh yeah a wall would be very helpful for these guys and then i could only tell like one person and then that guy just found a wall i think or a chair i didn't want him like i think case just gave up on a chair sitting in the back corner slump i would yeah um but i was slumped while the rest of us were paying attention that's disrespectful stop it i was on muscle relaxers and painkillers because my back was out but i still came and he did his back yeah his back cousin that's how he feels that's a handsome [ __ ] he could get it he told me at the end he said uh i didn't get hit on by any girls got hit on by a lot of your groomsmen i was trying to tell you the first thing i was like yo the indian men are kind of attractive and i was just waiting for you to point that sexy [ __ ] outside like i couldn't just like start with him but i was like come on give me a second to him i don't say it to him bro especially when i saw him in the tux when i saw that he could do both worlds yeah i could take this guys your mom is the dance champion of the world all the other non-indians it took them a second to get comfortable yeah it's not a knock it just what it is what is i think they're kind of like i don't know what your mom hopped right the [ __ ] in dog so fast was dancing her ass off it was so cute killing it dancing with everybody in the middle of the circle it was so good to see she was having a great time yeah man did we [ __ ] up anything no y'all did great i did good at the wedding right great come on come on did we [ __ ] up anything we didn't [ __ ] up i [ __ ] up with you the planner told me she was like it's really actually adorable how like hard your how much your groomsmen are making sure they do everything right thank you bro yeah i almost missed your ceremony yeah i don't want to put out the obvious one i almost missed your ceremony to be honest if i came a little later my back won't be still hurting today to be honest uh how much money did you put in by the way what into the little dollar yeah only a dollar that's what we were told what'd you put in five wow you really extended it five times the amount listen i was i was late yeah but i was taking late yeah which i blame on you yeah yeah he told me he's like do i have time to blow it and i think it'd be a long chip i was like oh this guy oh that's indian food for the last 24 hours quicker [Laughter] hey this [ __ ] was pretty too i didn't like it at the same time i don't like how pretty this guy is it was pretty son they kept calling um kevin you're the camera guy whole door bro you know that [ __ ] was absolutely cool that they went through [ __ ] bala is like a whole door shooting a wedding bro when he was in the indian clothes he looked like hodor son not because he was he was huge he's seven feet but but hodor kind of had that outfit you know to sharpen for the first time did he not and valla was calling him that [ __ ] you did you did that was [ __ ] up yo for the first three like first three months that's all too sharp called them hoes total coming to film and i told kevin that luckily kevin hadn't seen the show because i didn't want to be too faced about it but i also was hoping i would hurt his feelings he was like i've never seen game of thrones i was like thank god you know because that [ __ ] is too perfect okay anything about the wedding tell us where we [ __ ] up like anything you could try you guys were great man my only issue was to sit on the sangeeth on friday y'all were in the bar for too long on the sidebar yeah i mean we should have to go to that bar to get the drinks is what i'm saying oh yeah that's a good point there's a mini bar in the room you heard that yeah yeah great yeah minnie there's a bar in the room why don't you go there i mean i was wine and beer inside yeah and the liquor was outside yeah oh yeah i got a drink liquor in my wedding y'all yes he's trying to get your [ __ ] in javi weddings yeah i didn't want y'all to get too drunk and [ __ ] up saturday morning that was a deliberate choice i was like i got beer and wine but i don't want anybody getting getting [ __ ] up we deliberately chose to go get the liquor yeah yeah they had to open the [ __ ] up for you they told me after they're like it wasn't i didn't understand it was whoever it was they were like that's not normally open though but like we opened it up yeah it was like the capital riot bro we stormed that [ __ ] they know what to do you know what i mean yeah to bring up jordan jordan be hung over in a flu game and you know we know he's gonna get it done he'd been to this before he'd been through this see he's a vet it's very convenient that the dancing is just like this you could be drunk as [ __ ] just go like this all day that's wrong that's perfect it's the best that's perfect y'all it's the best okay how does it feel now to be married the actual being married like i like calling her my wife because it's less syllables and fiance yes but he's in the same spot we live together it's like it's not that different it's just cool to say my wife and it's it's nice i really enjoy it and also fiance for two years you get so [ __ ] tired of fiance yeah because they're supposed to be married almost a year ago yo adam your wife was stunning at every single one of you she was killing her she looked great and she killed that dance oh you're gonna murder them like yeah you guys versus the girls son we thought we were and normally we go to weddings and stuff she got on heels she can't really dance so i've never seen her go when she took off the heels i was like oh it's about to go down she's dancing barefoot and she [ __ ] went hammer and then i didn't want to see her at the um her like wedding dress the actual ceremony dress yeah because i we bought like she bought one that she was like really excited about like all right cool don't let me see it until and when i saw her i was like god damn she looked beautiful at the same time yeah bro just i was like i teared up i thought i was going to cry way more to me i cried too was your back when you were when you were sitting huh when you were sitting i cried when i [ __ ] as well no no no no i got a little emotional bro yeah man yeah i got a little emotional but it wasn't at that it was until the night at saturday yeah dudes some of the speeches got me that's what it was yeah your mom's speech was fire bro yeah man she had she had like three sips of wine and then she's like i don't know i just i think i was drunk she was like i didn't write anything i just went yeah my brother's speech got me in my mom's speech when she said that she said some things that got me like teary-eyed i didn't actually cry though but i thought like i was like i'm gonna cry so many times the in-laws are funny too father-in-law holy [ __ ] he made a cosby reference yeah he's like i was like what does he do for a living and then uh he said that he was a comedian and i was like i don't know about this because this is when all the cosby things were going on and bro we were dying laughing bro and i was having violet translate because i didn't understand what he was saying because his accent is kind of thick and it's over a microphone so like it was already muddled but vala was dying laughing when he said it i'm like yo what do you say i wouldn't listen either and then just lean told me and then duchara told me you and andrew both stood up out of your chairs at the exact same time started clapping though he went for it dawg he went for it i love it bro i love it he went for it that could have bombed i 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batch fresh harvests are always coming in it's always organic and independent lab tests showing compliance and purity are available on their website they take this [ __ ] serious okay it contains 0.3 thc so it is legal federally get on it get the cushy now let's get back to this um all right what else anything else anything else you guys would like to say you know i thought of at the reception i thought of something you said what's up about the first time you took molly or the only time you did burning man how you felt full that's how i felt yeah extreme just like the love is just pouring out of me and everybody around me that's how i felt at the reception saturday night the speeches were great but even just talking to everybody one-on-one it was just so much love dude it was like it was incredible all these people from all over coming to support you and your girls yeah and you're just all telling each other how much you care about each other and how much you mean to each other and it's [ __ ] amazing that's was like that was my favorite part of the whole thing yeah it was just the amount of love especially saturday night i think people didn't know i don't even think we knew the wedding was going to be as nice as it was like it was an actual nice wedding and when i'm paying for it and i'm like well i don't know this is what i can afford but it ended up being great it was amazing amazing yeah that's true there's some good pictures valla got a good thing well i got some fire ass pictures that i just posted on my stories yeah follow was tight though why because uh [ __ ] wore green on purpose i did too out yeah solidarity but then you did you're rubbing my face oh [ __ ] the intentions were different bro what color is green green i mean i'm trying to show there are no borders and then you're trying to show me the borders of there he needed to run it back again you building it back smeared the situation really hard [Laughter] he was pissed so he couldn't get no [ __ ] bro [Laughter] these girls were turning him down left and right they were turning him down so much it was crazy remember when you were trying to get [ __ ] and you couldn't [Laughter] good oh [ __ ] wally you don't remember that yo remember when when bob was swinging and missing he would try to like go up to girls to get them to dance and then they would notice he was pakistani they could just [ __ ] smell it and then they would just turn curb his ass bro yo rejection dude andy was on tinder he was swiping crazy ferociously he was trying to meet up with a girl at the bar in the outfit yeah that's next level that's fire that's fine i like that bro anyway yeah and it was dove football before he was you know how like he's usually giggly laughs like a little kid like that like but like that right he laughs like a little child a little taller but but at the wedding he was just like this he was just like [Music] hmm it was just looking around the room friday night specifically i love it when the when the bridesmaids were dancing yeah yeah it was a problem bro yeah it was a home dog come home at weddings dog yeah you are angry and horny dogs yeah i was like hey come home bro come home bro come home come home get out of get out of williamsburg dog get out of williamsburg all right all right flame this guy okay dove dove got high on mushrooms the first night yeah right because this guy's so disrespectful he's like it's gonna be colorful it's gonna be beautiful he's just gonna stare at you guys like [ __ ] the forest like he's just taking in the natural beauty and then said he got depressed and that's what happens and i knew that he was a little sad i put the [ __ ] dagger in his heart i knew he was a little sad right i didn't even notice oh yeah he was depressed he was super depressed i was like the sad uh [Music] we're outside by the bar right my girl mark's girl they're all talking to each other and i'm staying at the table and i'm talking to duff and i look over and i look back at dove and i go dove don't you want that [Music] he looks at me and he goes why would you even do that why would you even say that andrew you know how hard i'm trying you know how hard i'm saying i'm trying to meet that person i'm trying to meet those guys with someone else's business i'm sorry i love them depressed i'm on magic mushrooms it's it's it's unbelievable what's going on right now but i can't even say that you think i don't want that i come all the way to new york hoping to find some more jewish girls because the jewish ones in los angeles are too persian or whatever you're [ __ ] [Laughter] but don't you want that yeah like isn't that beautiful bro also not trying you're not trying it's the guru now is uh telling me to sit back wait for my heart with love sit back and wait hey bro okay did you find any girls at the wedding nobody no you can't hook up with them out of respect come on yeah nobody nobody could chat up but he doesn't do it right away dove moves in he builds but i'll tell you this as a jew i [ __ ] with six yeah i'll pick them i'll put them at the top all-star team over hindu wow why is this hindus why is this it's a i've met a few punjabis in my time yeah first of all they [ __ ] with israel thank you so [ __ ] you yeah he set you up yeah he set you up you were his competition he set you up that's what it was late mushrooms ever did that to me um al mark thoughts on the wedding before we move on i had an amazing time like i was just lit i was enjoying myself wasn't self-conscious at all to get it saturday night i thought that was the night i felt the most comfortable yeah i thought everybody was the most by saturday night everybody was in everybody got it everybody was like nah you just danced and let's just get in there and do it you know yeah but friday i was getting into a little bit i was vala set me up with a with a video that made me laugh i was really happy to see mark in there dancing on friday night and paula had a picture of mark danson and then me stopping dancing and looking at mark and then he's going and i didn't even know i truly was so happy to see you in there yeah and then vola captured this moment i don't know how the [ __ ] i look like that but it looks like i hated seeing your dance and i loved it no no you should have hated it yeah i'm not gonna do it right but i'm gonna go for 100 that's all we want that's all it is and to the outfits we love that you wore indian clothes we love that we're not like oh you're at our wedding yeah that's paying respect okay who won why don't you just tell us why don't you tell us yeah andrew had a great he did great with the the voiceover in the sketch he [ __ ] killed it no no no what's important i don't care about telling you yeah outfits yeah you better don't even they don't care about talent this is what we all wore right no no no this is what i wore with you this is yeah this is already returned my other [ __ ] yeah okay all right good for you yeah i accidentally bought this i didn't mean to but i i own this now so it's fire i think always and those are still too big i just can't get it right he came through with [ __ ] earrings that's disrespectful it wouldn't have been as bad if everybody else there was also dressed up but the fact that we walked in and everybody was in a tuxedo yeah i wore indian clothes the whole way you wore the most tuxedo version of indian clothes you had a black indian outfit yeah that's you settle at all you did set it up yeah that's [ __ ] up that was all you got to assimilate good for you again we loved it i love seeing everybody why don't you just tell us the right day to do it what made it worse is that we were late we couldn't get a chance i wasn't late why why was ellie because you were taking [ __ ] and we was waiting on you no stop what time does the reception start we're supposed to go in before you that's crazy yeah that's kind of it's a whole ass cocktail hour huh you all at the cocktail hour i was at the cocktail just you missed the cocktail i was at the cocktail hour i had some amazing cocktails we had caviar we had a whole thing you didn't want to drink too much you out of respect that's another thing i didn't want to drink too much out of respect we all respect it so yeah that's a good thing that's why i was out there i was just doing my thing you know what i mean and then i came i came when we came back in when you guys were making your entrance we were you know it was that was on us that was with us but we got there we eventually got there vala did tell us also that brown people are always oh yeah vala said that y'all are always late so it didn't matter he did say that i was super racist that he said that yeah it was all about it he did say this pakistan pakistan [Music] this [ __ ] is fire yeah yeah we got i think we need instruments yeah we need that we're there's a band it's like the punjabi 85 85 far east um so yeah most of it was walla's fault if anything i believe that but that's a fact i'm inclined to believe it he made his intentions known yeah yeah pulled up in war color son right for your daisy dog for you you're daisy bro and he was on the bubble for the invite he was the 17th seed if we honest i just need to be honest i just met this man i was like i like him bro and then he pulled up declaring war from day one yo that's wild no respect that is super [ __ ] wild that's unreal yo should we just [ __ ] him up yeah we should just [ __ ] all up one time bro yeah [Music] topics you know who uh we definitely gotta [ __ ] up who miles son oh my god miles is the biggest [ __ ] idiot i can't wait till he gets in here so this guy is so [ __ ] stupid it's unbelievable remember when i said miles would [ __ ] a rake miles will let the rake [ __ ] him it's unbelievable that being said he's looking handsome as [ __ ] now that he's losing weight yeah he is oh yeah it's a problem for you i will say i've never seen bullying work this effectively in my life right but my bullying works miles will pick up like something like like it was like a fig bar it wasn't even that nobody the fake news in front of me you smacked it out of his hand yes i did look at it smack him in his lips and next time i'm gonna slap him right in his face front you hurt his feelings the way it hurts me he's eating dessert he's like oh you're a little fat boy huh it's like sad it's honestly sad it works that motherfucker's getting skinny you can see his chin again he looks handsome as [ __ ] yeah he's gosling bro when he's skinny that's miles gosling yeah anyway this [ __ ] idiot son i love miles i love him yeah it sounds like you but listen there's a reason why he's here [ __ ] dedicated his life to this [ __ ] right yeah he he was i don't know if you guys know miles but we started working with miles we're doing a turn your phone videos right right he was cooking up these uh images for it they're absolutely great we get him to quit his job to do the netflix special with no protection that there will be a job afterwards right i mean he poured his heart and soul into that god we didn't have we had to make room for him we literally had to make room for him and then he ends up running the show yeah like we we restructured some things like miles it's yours you tell them all what to do manage it did a [ __ ] absolutely amazing job uh so much so that we were doing our we were searching for the editor yeah right who's gonna be the flagrant editor blah blah blah and i said listen we can't leave this guy alone you know he did a video for he did a submission it was horrible but but this guy dedicated so much of his life took a big risk we're like we gotta hide he would legit sleep here for like nights in a row just sleep here on the floor he still has a cot here today then he sleeps it's getting too nice he's getting way too nice yeah okay well we got to build it up we got to go it's just really i'm not going to build it up so uh so if you were wondering who won the uh flagrant editor contest it's it's miles that being said we do have vala from the same kind from the same competition right and shifty well well well we'll get there we'll get there right so we have vola from the same we have we have vola from the same uh competition vol is one of the people that was uh uh submitting an absolutely amazing content so now we picked up vola valo's on the team right now right we're looking for someone to help us out this summer we obviously got the big tour this summer so we're like who else was submitting is on you know for the video contest for the editing contest there's this kid shifty right that we thought was absolutely amazing okay and we're like let's see what he's doing this summer okay he was already doing some videos for us he was always doing some videos for wtf media studios we are always sending him like brilliant idiots clips and that kind of stuff maybe he'll move out here this summer so we hit him up we're like kid you're [ __ ] great how old are you he's like i'm 18 years old i just graduated high school amazing okay tells me this story that i thought was really cool he's working at [ __ ] home depot right right says to hit his boss at home deeply goes what do you want out of this what are you trying to do what are you going to do here well honestly i'd really love to work for schultz studios that's like my dream and his boss at home depot goes uh yeah there's no way that will ever happen uh why would you be a little more realistic like out of a [ __ ] high school movie yeah right yeah um and then last week he gets to walk into his boss's office and quit saying he's going to work for assault studios moves across the country comes here uh now we know he's coming right a week before he comes [ __ ] idiot miles miles gosling hey guys i just want to give you some useless pieces of information uh guys just have i given you some useless information yet uh hey guys so uh so uh guys um are you familiar with uh shifty's sexuality here we go we go no why would he be familiar with sexuality oh he goes oh well um i think he might be gay well why would you think he's gay like you talk to him or something like that he goes he goes no he posted something on his story there was like a image of like a pro lgbt bi like i've never seen anybody pro buy but he was like pro buy right or something like that and we're like well [ __ ] well if he's broke by he's gotta be gay i guess okay so uh he goes well i just wanted to let you guys know that and make sure everything's good yeah and we're like yeah well we don't care but you know whatever we with some wild boys a lot of words and uh you know we'll just make sure he's comfy with it so all of a sudden the [ __ ] avalanche begins miles brings me aside he goes bro he's young as a new generation like they're a little bit more sensitive with like words and ideas maybe you want to like pull him aside and kind of like talk to him and like just make sure that he's comfortable when he comes here and i'm like hey i guess i mean like he's just gonna hear it and then get comfortable here he's not gonna get comfortable dove comes up and he goes i think we should have him sign an nda if anything goes south here i don't want it to get back on us you know he's a young kid it's a new generation they don't like any words he probably doesn't even have his his pronouns they're in his body you know everybody's [ __ ] spiraling right come back to miles and miles like i'm gonna pick him up at the airport just in case there's any gay hate out there or something like that we just want to make sure that he gets here the proud boys were gonna come up or something waiting for shifty at that another game moving to new york we'll put a stop to it now yeah right so uh meanwhile the whole time al is just like can we still say the word we like to say how do we get around this right so we're sitting around the kid comes in super sweet kid right sits down right we're all hanging out right all of us are around the table waiting for me to ask also doing the gayest activity ever watching soccer we're watching soccer like that you pointed out trying to see if he was really into it right wasn't falling for the bait yeah so we're sitting there and we're just trying to have a conversation and we're like yeah so what's up like how's everything going and like mark's got this [ __ ] in my head where i need to like make sure he's okay with bad words and [ __ ] like that right so i'm like yo i just want to let you know like we're some wild boys over here yeah right and i realize now like that sounds superb boys like you know we say like crazy [ __ ] like you listen to a podcast he's like yeah yeah yeah and then he says this to me he goes i notice there's like one word you don't say and then we're like oh like what do you mean he was well yeah you bleep the you know maggot with an f yeah and i go well yeah you know we don't you know yeah we don't like saying yeah i mean like you get in trouble for that word you think he's being like what's that about his moment right yeah so he's like he's there but like you don't believe the n word and like only al says it he's allowed to say it and then he goes well if there was a gay person here like would you feel more comfortable saying that word oh my god we're all licking our lips i'm facing away but the moment he brings this up i go he's like on the school bus bro i'm just staring at edgar just like oh yeah it's coming up right i don't know where to go i'm like is he [ __ ] with me right now is he trying to go over the top like is he going over the top and then like as a way to get me super comfortable because he's to prove how comfortable he is with it right you know some kind of crazy [ __ ] i don't know what's going on but it's next level psychological warfare that gen z is aware of us boomers or not okay so i'm like all right how do i handle it i'm like like nah you know we just kind of i was the wildest you know i just want to let you know i was racist right so i'm starting to get into the area of hate like i was racist like so he make might make fun of your ass like what are you he's like oh i'm like a quarter mexican i was like oh he's going to make fun of you and then we start piling on with the racism to get us ease of things exactly and then we teased him like hold on you were mexican and you worked at home depot inside like good [ __ ] jokes that's a good joke and and al's kind of leaning in and we're trying to get there we're trying to get there and just nothing's getting close so i just go yo it's gonna be a crazy summer you know what i mean girl's about to go wow new york you got a girl and [ __ ] no no we start teasing we start teasing mark we go like oh mark you're not the youngest anymore yeah yeah and we're like we're like yeah you know you're about to steal all mark's hoes because mark can't get laid anymore and he goes man i just lost my virginity like three months ago and we're like and then he goes well it depends what you count as virginity and i'm like oh yeah remember we're thinking bye yeah it means so maybe you were pushing some [ __ ] when you were younger but now you're getting your [ __ ] pushed in at 18. we don't know what the [ __ ] is that right so so so so we're looking so i just go [ __ ] it bro i just go so so what you got a girl or whatever and he goes he goes yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm like how long you had your girl yes i've been with her for four years so i just go hold on so you not gay yo [Laughter] he goes no why don't you think i'm good and then i doubled down because it still wasn't a good enough answer for me i was like yo did you lose your virginity to a guy or a girl i would say super explicit like make that [ __ ] clear bruh what was it be honest and he's looking at us mad perplexing what the [ __ ] this whole time by the way dove is in the brilliant idiot studio on a business call on a zoom call right so he got no clue what's going on right he don't know that he chipped he came out the closet went back in in the same half house three or four times right so we're not going we're miles why the [ __ ] you think he's gay and then miles moves like the most woke sweet like liberal like everybody all love he's like why was he posting that gay [ __ ] [Laughter] immediately right cut that homo [ __ ] out being all homo for no reason on your instagram so so we go you sure you're not yeah yeah bro i don't know what the [ __ ] you guys are talking about right hey so he's not gay bro tear up the nda you know dove pops his head out because he wants me to come on this business call with this guy that's trying to do something very important i think the call is done right so i just go dove shifty's not ah [Laughter] oh my god so officially we welcome vala and shifty to the team [Music] [Applause] what else guys what else how low you all make such stairs [Music] i should have spelled it for him because you know we to spell a champion i think the rating is going to be a lot higher next year when we take that [ __ ] back y'all watch regardless like if anything we watched we're going we got the serena williams they never cared before but now they're about to care and they're going to lose once we start caring we take over so once we start getting we take over we're going to take over spelling well it's already been taken over yeah it's yeah we gave it back yeah and do not count soccer because y'all whiffed this weekend for england holy [ __ ] i thought it was a black lives matter protest when i was watching that thing the whole time i'm like come on black guy come on black guy it was my question and france and france and france yeah yeah yeah hey black suck it soccer yes yo real talk yeah because we're good at sports that's why so it's like we don't play the kickball [ __ ] leave it leave it today running around getting heart attacks from one of my favorite movies about racial unity white men can't jump sun even shines on a dog's ass sometimes wow you're gonna make fun of how stella got her wait what's the movie where she spells good achilles oh yeah stella got a spell but it's crazy shorty spelled better than akash and hoops better than them too oh yeah she's nice she hoops she doesn't smell she hoops she's nice i never have a spelling bee champion oops she's nice at hoops i don't care if you're better than me at hoops but she's going to do a spell and she got you mariah huh [Music] let your people down again alex spell mariah me and mariah yeah there we go all right now but how do you feel taking that massive l nah she was an l but we could be all right no no no no you can't win them be honest bro like let your racism fly that [ __ ] hurt we're gonna be all right huh if i'm being racist it's better a black person than another asian uh okay i like it i'll take it i'm actually happy i would i would have hated the most a white person then i'd have been competitively annoyed if it was another like a chinese but i don't think chinese can spell i don't know i don't think they can spell it i assume they do well enough though academically spelling i don't think spellers academically though that's our main competition like you guys are learning english from a young age you go to india there are people there that speak english but i'm just saying academically if they took spelling we'd be like oh [ __ ] yeah black people that's the least that's the least you got nothing now all you got is that little fake baseball [ __ ] you play you all got fake baseball all right you got fake baseball all right yeah yeah yeah be out there of course indeed like [Laughter] all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because you nerds keep falling asleep okay dorks you can't fall asleep while playing your video games we need you playing those games so you don't shoot up schools you shoot up people during call of duty you do whatever the [ __ ] you do at fortnight i'll tell you what you're not doing it's playing with tits but if you're gonna stay up all night playing video games you're gonna do with the best supplements in the game you know what those are gamer subs okay gamer subs by far the best in the business sometimes we're using it when we're up editing late and by we i mean miles okay miles is all about the gamer subs you can't see him right now he's probably passed out after being up on gamer subs for 24 hours straight it's literally the best let me tell you why it's the best it's the best because one it's keto friendly al it's keto calorie free it's calorie free it's got the nootropics that help you sharpen your focus and increase reaction time exactly what you need while you're gaming they got zero sugar they've got organic caffeine to maximize energy and endurance they've got no fillers okay so has better nutritional value they have six of the bodies most crucial vitamins and minerals and they have electrolytes because you need to stay hydrated while you're sitting in the chair using minimal energy as you do gaming you know what the craziest thing is those waifu cups that you blended up in those are going for three to five hundred dollars on ebay no way these guys just sent us some i thought it was just like a little dork capsule you know what i mean these guys are in an anime or whatever corny [ __ ] because those are the only girls that they pretend to sleep under boob on the back under these horn balls will pay you 500 for one of those [ __ ] cups also if you go to gamer subs.gg and you use the code flagrant at checkout you're getting 10 off your order again that's gamer subs g-a-m-e-r-s-u-p-p-s dot g-g use the promo code flagrant get that ten percent off let's get back here volley is that coffee here i think we got here like 20 minutes ago okay but you're just making him a servant too wow just snap at him next call him chaiwala chaiwala can you get he just called you chaiwala bro yo have we told that story of the box i don't know says we're all walking in and marcus is trying to like tease val a little bit right and we're just walking into the studio and then walla turns to me in front of mark and he goes yo should i just [ __ ] this guy up as if mark had no say in the matter as if he would just have to stand there and [ __ ] get [ __ ] up can you go vola could go oh he could go he could go oh yeah he looks scrappy he got it in him i could tell you can look at it yeah i like that oh [ __ ] all right man well look this is that was a long ass intro man we were hoping for that to be like 10 minutes i think we're 59 minutes into the podcast but um we got some [ __ ] to talk about it seems like you're not trying to dig into your loss in this spelling bee bro yeah having a french girl not you guys should have challenged me what she's she's friends she's she's your friend actually friends she's a stop her name is avant-garde she's as french as marcus french yeah we're french dogs that's how fred she is we're friends no she just got a french name but she's not different appropriate french names though you got a lot of pairs okay we'll take that one is that her name yeah i mean they got some fire names i'll give him that oh this [ __ ] is lit when you wear it above the ears too oh yeah it's like a fitted yeah you look [ __ ] right now what if i hit that [ __ ] if i do that his ears are so red because they've been held down it's unbelievable i felt like a chinese girl in the 1600s they literally wrapped their [ __ ] so tightly that's disrespectful what this one yeah that's the crown oh come on it's a crown well crowns are 360. nah but it's disrespectful and you're not even supposed to touch it with your hands not coming come on you disrespecting the yankees okay but you do it anyway nah but don't disrespect come on no no i read the rules i read the rules got married son nobody texted me you're good like you wanna look at your phone for another two years yeah you're right what happens in two years nothing i didn't think i was saying nothing i was just using two years of arbitrary you making it seem like i was saying divorce i know i wasn't even thinking that i was thinking why you only say two years well i don't know right there let's take a break and reset you this i keep on do you know what this is called 50. it's called the ramallah oh they're molly yeah yeah but i can keep i can rock the remote yeah yeah them all works that's what you can run the gurdwara if you don't want to wear the full bug yo am i jut you said it correctly i said it right right they said it wrong no you bought it both of y'all are judged we jut mark's not sick because he's gay yeah wait what do you mean i'm sick no you're not sick am i a jet yeah you're a judge i was the first judge yeah you're the og i'm the og yeah but i'm fine but are you a jet i'm jet now baby come on baby what do i do look at you cox on three [Laughter] why not i get my [ __ ] sucked on thursday whoa oh my gosh that's good okay [ __ ] man almost made me take off my remodel it was getting hot in here super hot yo they caught dove on the tv real quick they caught dove on uh on on youtube uh shopping during the podcast because sometimes his computer be getting into the watch yeah and they screenshot that [ __ ] yo wipe up shopping during the production what was you trying to buy i think you were trying to buy the outfit for the uh oh yeah it's just tabs of amazon and people at the wedding could just see the creases from the bag it comes in they're like amazon purchase yeah because i was getting compliments he got none here yeah i be looking akash's wife said you look great you almost look like the hero she wanted almost say that which i guess is like that's the one which i was so afraid like if she said you look too too good too good no no no no you shouldn't out china you you look fantastic yeah the fact yeah where what al has been saying that all week yeah okay let's just be clear no but i almost did but it's like i almost did it before the wedding i'm afraid i'm outside every day good you weren't even close when you all were like when y'all were like you're like i'm gonna outdress [Applause] he came looking like the chinese slippers that they gave you at the [ __ ] salon day one and day two the second day was better second day first date they thought you were getting gay married son on uh on the ceremony day because you had the beads covered in your face oh yeah yeah yeah and you were being presented usually it's the bride and now that's ruined short term no but in muslim culture the bride has covered her face and then it gets revealed upon her that's why the towel [ __ ] with connor your wife's a towel mate remember she's fully covered yeah yeah yeah what is that what's the meaning of that that's a punjabi thing they told me to do and they were like the whole time you're going to see the exhaustion of not knowing and being tired of not knowing just google it one time for you you won't even support the indian ceo google son at least you're gonna too much to know it's too much to know i give you that for the wedding because you had a lot of [ __ ] to memorize for that ceremony so much and then like there's so many little things that go into it you're just like dude i don't just tell me what to do i'll do it that's all i need to know like what what what is the significance is too much there's no way i'ma remember it anyway son i heard that you're not supposed to see the bride that whole tradition of not seeing the bride before the ceremony is for arranged marriages so you don't see how they look and turn it away is that true that's what i heard that's why your face is covered everybody's covered it's like hey reveal right there when you're getting married because indians gave us that [ __ ] that's a cultural thing that the indians gave to the rest of the world weddings no it's not no you're not seeing the bride yeah because imagine if before the wedding you had to tell your girl like no you look great like you look awesome it's a gift that we get to just wait and she's got to get ready on her own yeah i see what you're saying so thank you thank you i've never heard that learn something about your culture everybody i know who got married the first generation they all met once and they could say yes or no what do you say [Laughter] that's why he can't get the information he can't spell it i've never heard that my parents have the craziest arranged marriage story which is they didn't know they were getting married until the day of my dad didn't that's but every other even couples they're like what yeah yeah you know this guy's crazy yo you are crazy yo i was crazy all right not only taking a break insane you are he's a wild up behind my mom doing puerto rican moves bro hey she's throwing it back she was there yeah she was she was that's where my dad want to leave oh you made him leave yeah he says i'm tired of these black guys dancing because he forgets every time it seems like more black guys are just coming out of his hands how many black guys are there here yo i want you to guess what your dad said to me on my wedding day and the day after when i saw him i wanted to take one guess um uh if you want to come out to the beach yeah seriously oh that's funny this is his go-to thing he just now he just points to me just goes fire island because my dad remembers like three conversation points yeah one is like how expensive like real estate is two is an invitation to the beach house and then three is how did you guys meet yeah did like if you're with your girl how'd you guys meet those are the three things he always goes to he's the sweetest dude on it well we got to take him up on it if he's invited you this many times it's rude that you haven't taken it off that's facts yeah that's facts that's facts this guy you know what i mean indulge him bro he's inviting you yeah fire island this summer that's what i'm talking about wow boy you can come and see my mom in a bathing suit doing that in these outfits oh yeah that's funny ourselves we defend ourselves on social media we're not making fun of him we're not thinking about native americans we're making fun [Laughter] sensitive to southerner that's what it is bro yeah you kind of look like a pirate right now that's a good point right the warriors yeah you know what i mean they're out here same team celeb are there sailors are there indian sailors um yes oh there was oh who uh the monster oh also this guy's crazy [Laughter] you are the craziest wild boy i ever seen in my life oh my gosh andrew was inspired by her wedding and for his wedding he's going to be taking some of the customs yes i am oh which ones which ones was that which ones was i going to do well you're doing some of the hindu ones yes you're gonna do the fire go to the fire yeah and then fires you know fire no that what they did that was at the other one y'all weren't invited to yeah andrew know how to go to i was there i was there you don't think i got that zoom link okay i was there for the whole [ __ ] thing yeah just go on jeffrey put out the fire just looking at his cousin i moved the screen to ahmed and i was just beaten away son you've met him before huh he was at the old studio sat in for a full ass episode i would remember i was hoping we would talk about how he was there maybe he didn't have a haircut yeah i wanted to grab his face like just squeeze his lips together yeah he probably didn't grow into his beauty yet yeah yeah we find this guy in social we should shout out his ignorance oh my god that [ __ ] too pretty be straight i'm sorry hey now he's too pretty let's get him some hot dudes then i didn't realize how i'm sitting this should look racist i think you're about to start floating any second now bro holy [ __ ] you just meditated good money you fitting in you're good son you didn't realize how privileged we are in the first worlds and that where they got right and left sneakers that's a privilege you didn't realize you had in india they just got sneakers and switch them either way it doesn't matter yeah we can't adjust to your foot that's amazing huh yeah save a lot of money that way though yeah you don't gotta make all these different kind of shoes that's what we're trying to do all the time also i do want to apologize uh to uh the tuck tuck driver the rickshaw guy yeah yeah because al tried to set me up to try to take out the whole wedding oh i tried to set you up him and miles they are two kids and they're like oh my god let's get a picture in the [ __ ] car or whatever i did that too yeah you're a child too just children you know like we're at a [ __ ] wedding i jumped in i get my pick real quick i want to be respectful obviously so i jumped off and i was like no no jump back in get back in we'll take another picture and so the tuck talk is here and there's probably 400 people behind the tuck duck in like perfect uh like lined up right right behind it and then me and miles jump in and then al pushes it and starts why are you why are you trying to put this on me bob's put the [ __ ] in neutral and i should just start rolling and it almost took out a few of your aunties yeah wow yeah people were screaming and running out of the way so i want to apologize for that you know my mom got hurt there probably because you're here from the tuck tuck she got hurt there and then she got hurt at the reception poor lady fell we thought she broke her wrist that she did not she got x-rayed luckily he's negative she's okay oh but what a warrior though she fell dancing and then jumped back up and kept dancing son i didn't even know i didn't even know until i saw her after yeah i saw her on the bus i was like what the [ __ ] is going on bad son now she wouldn't tell me well i saw her wrapped up and like as i'm on stage and they're doing speeches i'm like what's going on i think i got off stage when checked on her oh yeah yeah andrew didn't see it either because he was late you could have saved her you could have stood behind her maybe maybe caught her as she fell but instead you let her fall to the ground yeah that's [ __ ] the hard new jersey soil how are you son i will [ __ ] you up yeah yeah this guy's trying to [ __ ] this guy up yo guys get your cousin over here yo should i just [ __ ] that guy seriously dude can we just [ __ ] roast your cousin dude can we just bring him into the brilliant studio and then just put him on those like old-timey punishment things when you're in the middle of the square the stocks the stocks yeah let's put them on the stocks are you talking about william wallace got put on yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah [Laughter] you're crazy this guy's too wild son [ __ ] you are [ __ ] racist you stop i'm telling you stop you are right [Laughter] this guy is so crazy he's just a wild [Laughter] um let's take a break and regroup all right guys we're gonna take a break for a 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now let's get back to the show ten percent body fat or less for the tour this is very important everybody gotta get under ten percent oh [ __ ] okay yeah ball is swelling up this guy's swelling up for real no it's true guys i've barely seen the gym i need to get my ass back into a dog you got to be under 10 percent yeah okay what are you going to do say what what are you going to be at i have to carry a little more weight because i ain't getting married to lose weight i'm going to tell you that [ __ ] right now dude come on akash all right fine just the camera guys under 10 percent body fat okay just people behind the camera yeah it's part of the brand that we're like a little you know bigger yeah that's what it is we're getting a little bigger we're showing a little bit more success we're doing a more third world yeah we come out too skinny they think we pale and fat let's go yeah and gout yeah yeah we all got gout brother what the [ __ ] you going for not to work out yeah cowboys dog yeah we the gout boys scout boys yeah anyway so as a wild boy let's get into it bro we got we got a lot of [ __ ] going on dogs we got americans fake caring about cuba what y'all think about that what y'all faith caring about today yeah what do you what do you think about that the fake caring about cuba i just had i thought it was interesting they're protesting in cuba well yeah that's where i'm like that's interesting with the protest in here yeah okay oh protesting something who gives a [ __ ] yeah that's a swap meet that's just swapping a bunch of cubans getting together bro that's nothing yeah well we got to support it those are people they took care of us when we're down in miami so yeah yeah cubans for sure but what i'm curious about is why this is becoming like a national news story right like the the american press has given us a lot of juice that's a good point because i will say when i said the first time in 25 years i was like that's kind of a long time yeah it's just nine years it's kind of like it's not so it's not i thought it was like [ __ ] 75 80 like i thought since castro's in power and then you're not really going to [ __ ] protest 90 was like elian doug yeah they were protesting in the 90s i don't know why but that's 25 years ago son i got the feeling i got the feeling and just because i scroll read it i got this feeling i think we got the same feeling okay this is america trying to shore up the western hemisphere color revolution this what color revolution you just they go in they're just like all right swap out the guards america's like all right the jig is up oh and they've got a color revolution okay i thought there was more like a racial undertone no no uh but america's gonna go in and they're gonna like pluck out the the dictator put in their guy yes and then i wonder if haiti's got something to do with this as well because china's been trying to make their way into the west right they've been trying to make their way into the caribbean they've had like five different countries there sign on to like the uh the belt with a belt and road initiative or something like that yeah um basically what that is i'm sure they received some sort of economic resources but the idea is they could like facilitate certain chinese ideas that they want i think america is basically going all right one thing that i read it could be absolute [ __ ] it's like we're pulling out of the middle east because it's too expensive i think we just left afghanistan didn't even tell them [ __ ] irish good-bye like you didn't have your country you woke up the next day it's yours yeah yeah i mean left a note maybe maybe just left you to base man right but what's crazy is that people were complaining that oh biden's gonna bring us back into war and now he's pulling out and now people are knocking him for pulling out so quick he's like you can't do anything right you want us to be there or not even the afghan president was like they didn't say goodbye [ __ ] what you want salutations [ __ ] we're friends now we're friends enjoy your heroin fields so so what people were saying is that china is trying to get into the caribbean trying to get their influence into south america central america of course makes sense i'm sure that's what we would do out there in asia and maybe we realized okay it's going to be hard to compete on a global scale right with china so we got to shore up our part of the world so maybe one way looking at it is like listen we got north america south america central america i guess and europe and then they potentially got the rest the tricky thing is the rest could be the middle east you know and i don't think so because we just have so many bases out there so much influence and so much protection for certain countries that absolutely need it but we got to figure out who divides that important part if they want to take asia all right i don't think they get india though i think the u.s is going to try to prop up india and that's like all jokes aside that's a billion people just raw numbers yeah 1.4 billion or whatever out of eight billion i hope india is not the proxy war to be honest with you like i hope we don't fight our war with china through india that could happen but that's dangerous because india's got nukes bro like proxy wars got to happen between people that don't have real weapons right or crazy crazy weapons so you still get casualties but you're not having like global economic destruction yeah but once a new goes off yeah i thought i thought it would be over africa i thought we were going to try to get some of that back because china has almost all of afghanistan they just went all in on africa very smart also that's real smart yeah hopefully we took out the resources and all the athletes and everything and like yeah we got a couple of ufc fighters out of that yeah did we get them out safe we got maybe that's it maybe that's how the us is going to take back africa hey we're going to prop up this western ass event ufc a lot of spectacle and y'all are going to be the best can i be honest with you we're going to win that culture team usa lost to nigeria basketball yep if i'm china son i am propping up the most modernized african nations that are invested culturally in certain sports that are popular in the west basketball being one of them and i'm just dumping bread in i'm dumping bread because it looks horrible for america when we lose yeah in our sports we lose a soccer nobody really give a [ __ ] but if we start losing in basketball baseball how the [ __ ] did you lose to j cole's league sorry yo jay cole really the legend j cole was dropping buckets in the league we can't beat these [ __ ] come on come on bro this is this is a disaster real pro how he lives in nigeria dog come on team it's not like it's not the actual all-stars right on we kevin durant's on that team dave lillard on that team they lost in nigeria yeah nigeria hit like 26 threes or something like that i don't care how you let him hit 26 threes that's a good ass point son how are you you made a good ass point right that's a good ass point and i can't even blame the finals how'd they score more points than our team scored points yeah [ __ ] up that they would do that's a good ass [Laughter] yeah [ __ ] oh yeah you want to talk about that soccer show oh no back to what we were talking about the cuba thing so i think obviously anytime there's like a freedom fight in cuba yeah right same way what happens with like um in venezuela it's like we almost like use these countries as uh reasons for why america shouldn't and i'm gonna put this in quotes like devolve into socialism some people might assume that's evolution but it doesn't matter but like they just stand there so as long as venezuela looks shitty we get to go see what socialism yeah see with universal healthcare see yeah i mean don't look over there in europe but like see what happens you know and and cuba as well like as long as people are suffering in cuba americans like conservative americans they don't love that they're suffering but they love that they get when does communism ever work exactly yeah exactly it's that same thing and every i mean america's done it over and over like the most famous one was the uh modern art during the cold war oh you remember talking about this yeah yeah yeah like i don't know if we talk about it here but like basically cia was dumping money into like modern art like jackson pollock guys like like these like post-modernist like expressionist guys like something real free form to try to like push like create a culture war against like the russians yeah they're like russian art is like so structured and brutalist but look at us bro we're free you can do anything like art is whatever you want it to be and that is such an intoxicating idea yeah yeah freedom is so intoxicating look at our art look at our music with our movies everything is just free but it's kind of wild they like completely discredit those artists like right like you thought that they were like super talented like once in a lifetime gift from god no i never understood that the cia boss was just like yeah that [ __ ] weirdo who's just nutting all over the campus yeah isn't that crazy dictate what we like it is crazy and i bet they are even more effective now with the internet like back in the day you had to convince [ __ ] with magazines and they had to like sit there and read like they were affecting it because they own the social media ah like you promote the [ __ ] that's pop apparently they're like uh i don't i read this i'm not positive how accurate is but like they're blocking tick tock users that have like black lives matter in their bio or like they're suppressing their views and stuff oh wow like tickets we know for the fact that they could turn the lever on academics told us that [ __ ] yeah so they can just promote whatever the [ __ ] they want same thing happen we're witnessing we're falling back into it like first thing happened with music now the music companies have complete control who the artists are going to be successful who are like that's back to them and we're probably going to witness a similar thing happen with social media companies as well so you think they're going to go do similar to what they did with russia where like something incredibly american and free becomes like really popular in the art world you never know maybe i mean like i don't know if jackson pollock and them were seen as like uh universally american but they did seem uh uh like the complete opposite of what russian art was at the time yes right like uh there was a and i don't know maybe that they do that maybe they do it here maybe they showcase i don't know that's a great question and you i want the u.s to win this war because you can the american government is not perfect by any stretch but if you think the chinese government is better to live under you're a [ __ ] idiot yeah and we need to win this war and our only real chance is culture war yo you know what we got to do we gotta do what the jews do but like the opposite you know how like if you're jewish you go to israel they'll just pay for your trip right because they're like yo being jews is so dope you don't want to be jewish you're like [ __ ] but we'll pay for your trip to go to china yeah then after you go there you'll come out i will fight for this country every every red blood cell in my body not when you come back if you come back right we got to start promoting travel get everybody a passport see how [ __ ] is out there real talk america's not traveling enough they don't know how shitty the world is you think america does that with korean pop bands what do you mean they're like yo let's throw a bunch of money at bts let's blow them up crazy because like if we have these korean guys popping that's gonna piss china off because it's not a korean or not a chinese group we're gonna make like their enemies pop off uh that's an interesting take i don't know if anything i would think that they would promote americanness right like but it does show that we're accepting you go over there if you adopt western light we'll still let you in here you could be the biggest band in the world it doesn't matter if you're asian yeah anybody in asia just come do our stuff are you talking about like through a reward structure are you like yeah i see what you're saying yes yes yes let's put on all of china's enemies as long as they conform to american standards and entertainment yes yeah rock with us we'll make you superstars over here and just like piss off are there any like chinese superstars like like as far as like in china that are have bled over i don't think yeah i don't know if china will allow it china it was tough to get yam over anytime there's a good chinese baseball player at any other chinese i think it's tough to get them all it's like it's tough to get people from china because the chinese government's like nah that's nice baseball like that i was always thought it was like i remember yao it was tough to get yao to america yeah the chinese government was not letting him over because the government decides whether or not you get to come play and so it's really tough to get those guys over so you're not going to see chinese superstars in america because china won't let that [ __ ] happen that's their guy so what we can do to your point is make everybody else famous in america and then get all of their people like if you're korean you're looking at bts like the biggest band in the world i love these guys and if they're super western and super like into freedom and expression and all that that's the culture i want to be a part of that's the cool culture and loki there's not as much of a reason for them to come over because you can get breaded out there oh yeah like they have the population yeah you're the biggest artist in uh trinidad and tobago like you need to break out somewhere yeah like you know like the biggest the biggest i don't know dancehall artist in trinidad and tobago got a day job yeah if he hasn't broken out into at least the other parts of the caribbean europe america you need the population density at a bare minimum right so yeah man it's tricky you know what i reading this cuba stuff you know what i thought was when i thought maybe the us is doing some some [ __ ] is when biden started talking about it then i was like oh maybe this is like a part of it they're trying to get castro out of there and it couldn't have started he's out you're talking about like his family yeah oh yeah like the the communist regime out of there yeah and i was wondering if it started eight years ago when obama was like hey let's start letting people back into cuba that's the beginning of it oh so start letting the west over there we did a reverse yeah like interesting interesting interesting interesting instead of saying [ __ ] you communism you're not allowed to do business with us that clearly didn't work casper was still in power his family was still in power all right so let's just open it up let's just get them exposed to the west again let's start doing this thing and then we'll just get them the [ __ ] out of there my understanding is you couldn't do [ __ ] nothing happened with trump no no no this is biden i mean obama to biden there was a gap in between four years the people are saying that's really interesting because people are saying that the like the riots were about um like economic frustration right like obviously because of covid they're spiking again not enough vaccines not have access to the hospital so they're saying it was a it was frustration due to like lives being lost right and their economy i think is down 10 this is already a depressed economy i'm sure that has to do with tourism and like a lack of tourism yeah but uh they have a curfew at like nine o'clock and [ __ ] like that and they said a lot of protesters went back at nine but but still i like that idea like maybe this is the way that you infiltrate you get some spies in there you get and and low-key it's kind of like payback for what castro did to us remember when we were like all right we'll let you guys send some people back home and he sent all like the murderers and rapists and [ __ ] like that yeah oh yeah that was his yeah i think he put them all in jail and then when we gave him a plane to send people back home yeah he sent the people he didn't want the island yeah yeah [ __ ] that's a ballsy move son yeah yeah no i like akash take because it's like when you open open it up and then americans start going over there and now cubans are seeing all the [ __ ] they're missing out on it's like oh wow americans are here where they're free they do whatever the hell they want we've been told they're nice they got money they get to do whatever like they say in a lifestyle that they aren't living and so now they're more likely to speak out against their government that is a great point because our greatest tool is our culture yeah and if we can't share a culture it's like why does china limit so many movies why is china limited so many tv shows why does it limit all of our are like not all but a lot of our musicians and [ __ ] because that stranglehold that we'll have over your people is through our culture russia did the same thing they banned all american movies all through the cold war there's actually a bollywood like surge in russia yeah it makes sense because they were like yeah you can't any americans so they're like all right you can have indian movies there's like all these like random russian like 40 year olds are like yeah we [ __ ] love yeah it's weird yeah really yeah it's it is crazy how big it is like in africa they love bali with them at least they live bollywood russia i'd heard they lived bollywood in certain parts and i didn't know it was necessarily because of communism but yeah it is it it's a thing i noticed i see so many people will be like i love bollywood hollywood is like your wedding song it's just a big ass party dancing yeah it's all about joy hero's journey hero's journey every single one hero's journey and also i thought about like why are all bollywood movies always so like rich people and escape whatever yeah and for it is if you're a poor person i don't want to see reality [ __ ] reality it sucks i want to escape yeah exactly exactly so that makes sense you had mentioned um that there might be some connection with the cuba and haiti [ __ ] like i'm curious like if this is us shoring up the west like what you say color war right mm-hmm is yeah not it's basically going like all right who is that president loyal to the haitian president does he have any loyalty to anybody else but us oh you do adios yeah i don't know that [ __ ] was wild though i'm kind of cynical with that like did you did y'all hear how it happened though like his own security yeah they got hired and then like no sir yeah big group goes over there and then they start saying dea dea so his security just lets them in because they're thinking it's [ __ ] american government yeah and then they just took a took him and his wife out i mean actually the wife i think is still incredible let's be honest that's just wild though like you need to get a team of those to get a team of those people down there into the country with certain weapons with certain outfits it's not like you're just gonna get that [ __ ] at the [ __ ] halloween store right yeah have certain connections who is it's gonna take somebody with serious money and influence even to get that close yeah right like i'm not saying it's the american government that's exercising it maybe it's a foreign government maybe it's [ __ ] china who knows but it's gonna take somebody like at the higher levels of power and influence to orchestrate something like that also somebody that could gain a ton like if you're just some like russian billionaire like what are you getting from killing cause he said something mean to you no that's not how the game works like at that point you could say whatever you want we got billions of dollars at stake here yeah so the fact that they were american could mean it's america or if i was gonna hire somebody if i'm china or if i'm another country and i wanted to make sure we murked a president that wasn't doing the things that we wanted them to do i wouldn't make sure that the passports led back to china yeah do you remember when the russians took out that um uh russian oligarch in london he drank some tea i think his name was berezovsky or something like that and he drank some tea and there was polonium in it or something like that you can trace radioactive material like physically trace it back to wherever it is and they traced it back to the hospital that those russian guys that killed them were in russia yeah jesus so you know they took them out yeah right so they're like oh we're not making that mistake again why don't you hire people from the country that looks like it would benefit from this you hire some americans that have haitian descent to go handle business now looks like america got blood on their hands right yeah this [ __ ] is straight out of bond movie yeah yeah i guess you just have to see what the outcome is like if the outcome is super beneficial to america then it's like yeah that's a good cia whoever whoever benefits from this yeah did it whoever actually benefits not who optically could benefit but like whoever actually has benefit from it yeah like the next go go go i don't know i'm just cynical where like i don't know if there's been any like revolution in the last like 50 years that's not orchestrated by some government yeah i mean like my people are like oh yeah like these people in iran are mad it's like are they they're not he also had a lot of enemies though like he didn't like the the rich class because there's like a few families that just own everything in haiti yeah so he wasn't [ __ ] with them and so it could be one of these rich people hey let's get them the [ __ ] out of here and not make it look like it was one of us well we know about the doctor who was arrested now right so in haiti one of the suspects is a doctor that flew on a private jet i think a few days before who the idea the plan was that these guys were gonna actually go into the presidential palace take him to um i think take him take him somewhere a government building and stage a coup and so he's in custody so oh wow on that so they're saying he wasn't supposed to be killed but then when he described how the president was killed i was like yeah he was that yeah he was this was this was out of a movie the description yeah but that's the other thing that the conspiracy theorists will say right is that they'll say that like the cia the fbi the nsa like these institutions don't just work for the government they work for the rich people that benefit the most from the government so if you have a bunch of rich families who surely have like some ties to america or other places that can use their influence and the influence of their you know security apparatus yeah to you know push things in their direction this might be one of those things they got to push but this is a big conversation like you take out a head of state i don't care if it's a small country anyone that's a big [ __ ] deal being like there's something going on here there's something going on here yeah like i know a lot of money got sent over there to haiti right right that didn't really get to the haitian people remember when there was that hurricane like who knows if homeboy was about to blow the top off of that um i mean there was even some criticism of how like the uh the clinton foundation handled that wasn't there yeah yeah yep yeah remember like they were like kidnapping or not kidding they like adopted all those haitian kids remember the clintons yeah that that's that's tricky right what do you mean there's like uh like they were trying to pin that on uh the clintons right that these kids were being like stolen but they're also being like adopted and like some of the parents were like no they weren't like there was there was not clear cut obviously it's not clear and so it could possibly be that but i don't think there's enough money in that i know it sounds [ __ ] up but like 14 kids being adopted or whatever it is it sounds [ __ ] up but like i don't think that's what moves the world yeah i think billions of dollars moves the world and when billions was were raised or maybe tens of millions were raised to the clinton foundation and it just never got there right yeah and that president is like oh now we know where it went oh this is cute yeah maybe some people need to know about where it went yeah and there's another conspiracy going around that um there's three countries i forgot the exact three but i know haiti is one of them that declined the vaccine these are the countries that their head of state oh god you gotta take it up yeah just to clarify the point on that so the two of the haitian americans that are in custody there's 21 now in custody they told haitian officials during questioning that their mission was not to kill the president but to serve a 2019 arrest warrant that had been issued by a judge and take president moisey to the presidential palace there they would install dr sanon who's a haitian-american as uh as president and that was the the source that reported and now the conspiracy is that one of the unanswered questions is that how this dr sandon who once filed for bankruptcy could be behind such a costly conspiracy some of the people arrested say they were being paid three thousand dollars a month and been living in haiti since january so that there is a lane you can look to right now but son this [ __ ] is this [ __ ] is interesting because a lot of times what they could do is tell you yeah we're gonna make you president that's what the real plan is you're about to be present we're going to go down there stage a coup and arrest this guy and you're like i bet we got this and then you get down there and they perk that [ __ ] and you're just sitting there resting yeah you're [ __ ] passing you're the patsy yeah and what do they do with the patsy lock his ass up mm-hmm so he can't say nothing yeah right or you take him out the people who see this [ __ ] like looking 10 20 30 50 years down the road doing all like it's the brilliance of it just the [ __ ] level of thought that it takes whether it's good or bad good or evil to do that is [ __ ] crazy we're about to find some [ __ ] out and very soon we're going to find out that there's like a huge oil well outside of prince or something like that like yeah we're gonna find something out some trade route something yeah big money guaranteed patrice and mr p he says so many things that makes so much sense but he said uh after the earthquakes in haiti he did this thing he goes they're gonna rebuild haiti and like without haitians and [ __ ] this might also be the first step in that like we're going to put our guy in we're going to make this an isil tourism that was the idea for cuba before castro if you watch the godfather 2 yep cuba was going to be just vegas but yeah nicer weather it already was yeah okay it was there was like this big tourist destination americans would go to and i think they were getting in there to even build it up more but yeah americans would frequent it this is a fun place to check so they might be doing that with a lot of these caribbean islands and like hey let's just put our guys in there let's make this nice little tour we'll make them money we'll make us money we got our we got our government in there it could all do these again these guys i can't even comprehend the level of thought it takes to see all this this entire globe as a chess board and i'm thinking 10 moves ahead and i'm competing against china right now they took out russia and china is more organized and it's more dangerous and it's more whatever so how do we get them out i don't know man i don't know what else we got china's watson dawg you playing chess against watson all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second listen you're busy you're busy you're probably working right now and listen to a podcast you're doing double duty you don't have time you need to save time everywhere you can you can't slave over the [ __ ] hot stove for a meal for hours so you can eat something delicious that has nutritional value you know what we got you covered that's right freshly got it locked down save all the time that you need cooking those meals or even going out to dinner you know me i love to go out to a dinner but that is time consuming okay i gotta blend it into date night so we killed two birds with one stone all right you can't be spending all this time doing this stuff we got shows to 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cross when you're talking about britain great all the groups united kingdom and you're talking about yeah so when they do the olympics they do great britain and then when it's just england they do the white one with the red cross okay i didn't know that i think so yeah it's weird because like uh technically those aren't like countries or like sovereign states within great britain or whatever right and then like wales is a country and then ireland is a country but not northern ireland yeah how does that [ __ ] work now that they're annexed i don't know i don't know oh no because they're wait what do you mean like is england still part of the whole [ __ ] no but they they're still working on that brexit [ __ ] but even if they brexit they're brexiting with them oh yeah the brazil is just the you win exactly it's basically like a hero rather like like [ __ ] what do we got puerto rico and [ __ ] like that it's like whatever america does puerto rico is coming oh okay okay you know but yeah i don't know it's interesting i i saw the game that was one of the craziest finishes i didn't watch it what i didn't watch it oh okay it was a crazy kick say what penalty kicks yeah the penalty kicks were wild and there's all these like fun conspiracies going on with it obviously like all the black dudes for england missed the penalties so everybody's upset at black dude penalties also england fans suck dude yeah they just suck why why well like british like hooliganism like it's like something like people know about like they make movies about it where it's just like british soccer fans are just like fight and brawl with each other and it's just like vicious for like no reason it's their gangs yeah it's gang [ __ ] but like it means less like i don't know it's like it just seems more super like trivial because it's like about a like a sport it's soccer yeah yeah i don't know stop it but they just apply that to everything like so when the country's playing they just go so crazy there's like super racist like you just realize that america is not the most racist oh yeah yeah yeah yeah once you see the english fans going crazy you're like oh yeah we're bad but we're not but the way we get around it is we just make sure all the athletes are black the black ones can't let us yeah i hate lebron yeah yeah i love all the other ones yeah if it's just lebron it's like ah exactly what kind of sport is that where white people can play it what a loose shot tell me about it bro and the black guy is the fastest on the field it's the best soccer players are white how crazy you know why you can't it's because it's a lot of jogging and why folks love you we do love a channel that's a nice job but this is a sport of jogging yeah and there's a lot of like faking and like crying and like thinking that's a victim like if white women play soccer that's why american soccer team is amazing yeah yeah oh my god you're right they all got pink hairs victims yeah pink hair victim right if you look like you're from portland and you can cry a lot and be hurt and somebody's abusing you if that's a sport you know that america is going to get one second all penalty kicks that's why the best actors come from overseas because they just have to act and all every time they get hurt play soccer growing up oh my god that's what you were talking about the british actors are so good but they didn't go to acting school they were just on the pitch the pitch yeah or whatever that is what is that thing that fixes your ankle in two seconds i don't know i remember there was one time where dude he couldn't figure out what was hurting him he went from his ankle to his face and then back to his ankle like this [ __ ] and then they scored and then it's like oh nothing hurts yeah he just gets right up yeah i think he got fined he's an italian guy that like was laying down like grabbing his leg they score and then he just runs and runs away i think they find them because they were like this is just blatant i will say this so being racist to the guy who missed it really makes missing it so much easier oh that's true you're like i'm glad i missed it yeah yeah [ __ ] yo i thought we in this together we all part of the same country you don't think i'm disappointed too and now you're gonna make me the black guy who's not english and you think i did it for my own you know crazy objective that i'd like to like check off my list [ __ ] you yeah i'm gonna miss it next time too kid's 19 years old the last guy i think is so insane yeah 19 years old his first thing the kid wants to deliver first professional penalty kick ever like for club or country first time ever imagine why just because he gay saying no it was just a coaching issue there's like a leadership coaching issue it's like honestly [ __ ] up that like you put this kid in the most pivotal position because it's the last pk like regardless of what's happening like yeah it might not get to him if there's something that happens but like you're gonna go through all five pk's but do you choose do they get to choose and there were certain guys that were playing like that harry kane guy yeah like who's legit dude but i guess he's a little bit older yeah and i was i was reading and they said basically he wasn't doing [ __ ] during the game but you they want to keep him on the pitch because they thought it could go to penalties yeah and that he was going to be good at the penalty yeah but why not make that guy go last make him your fifth kick that's what i'm saying yeah yeah it's 100 because you either got a score for like the win or you miss it and you lose like it's all on that last one and if you're like if you're a vet and you miss you got enough experience to be like oh to be okay and you're probably not gonna play that much longer anyway if you're 19 you might have ruined this kid's life yeah he missed one kick and now he's just [ __ ] shattered confident shots don't get why would you put a 19 year old there who's never done that yeah like with penalties it's like an experience and meant like a mental game yeah like everyone can kick the ball every player on the field can kick it into the goal like it's easy but it's all mental shouldn't everybody be tight at the coach yeah i mean i think so yeah people aren't smart enough to think that that's the guy missing and there are it's already a pretty racist place so that black kid missed it [ __ ] him knocking your job is to kick the ball and a goal like you're here because you're good at kicking the ball on a call we can't make the excuse to oh he's 19. he should know better type of thing yeah this is what you get paid millions of dollars a year that's what you get paid to do but this isn't even for pages it would be a better strategy yeah but at the same time it's like bruh hit the free throws yeah you know what i mean like if you're an nba player you got two shots to win the game hit the [ __ ] free throw sure the stupidest thing just go straight the [ __ ] jumps left to right everything just goes straight yeah why haven't they figured that [ __ ] out yet so i was like and that goalie is the best well both of them were great i feel bad for the england goalie because the england goal he saved it a couple times yeah crazy game he was on it robbie smith had a funny ass tweet he said um i relate to goalies because uh they too complain when they have to do their job anytime there's a kick on goal a goalie after he saves it screaming at the defenders like they were also trying to stop him yeah like democrat gets to sit in front of the net the whole game and jump four times defenders are running up and down the field every single time one time you gotta do your job and how the [ __ ] could you make me work right yeah goalies are like always like the jamaican woman that works at cvs yeah you're like you know this song hey can i check this out [Laughter] yeah but it's just [ __ ] up from the coach i also think it's a leadership issue on the team like if you're the captain of the team you can't be letting this a younger kid you should kick the ladder that's the last thing you should always expect even if because that's the thing some of the guys aren't as good at penalties but it's like let me if it's gonna if someone's gonna [ __ ] it up let me be the only responsible for that yeah [ __ ] yeah because he did shoot he did kick it [ __ ] yeah it wasn't a great penalty the penalty like like we were watching the game here the other day yeah and some of these dudes kicked it with the utmost confidence bros it was unbelievable yeah they blasted it to like the top corner yeah maguire had an amazing pk that in that shootout he was one of the guys that went up there yeah and so it's like you see that and then you saw what the last kid did and i think the last kid again i'm a complete novice casual when it comes to soccer but the way he kicked it is don't [ __ ] it up yeah he kicked it as hit it on goal hit it on goal and hopefully the guy jumps the other way yeah it wasn't great where i've seen ones where it's like there is a two-inch window for that ball to even enter the goal yeah top corner the [ __ ] doesn't even get it in who hits the pole sun what i believe because he got it right he guessed that that's what's so stupid about that goddamn sports you just had to kick it in yeah somebody if you know what's weird in those moments like it's kind of fun to root for the goalie because he's the underdog oh yeah and when you don't have any attachment to either side like i'm going all right you got this it's really impressive to stop a pk yeah yeah it's really impressive yeah because people say the hardest thing in in sports is hitting a baseball i think the hardest thing in sports is stopping a penalty case you don't think the ability to do it no but one's just a guessing game the other one actually takes skill i hear what you're saying that's it because he's jumping whatever way he's going so his body is you're saying the percentages could be lower for uh for stopping a penalty kick but since it's not a skill based decision it's a guessing game yeah that's that's true because hitting a baseball is not guessing it's no good it's like nah it is sometimes some keepers try to watch the uh like watch like where his feet placement is like where the knee goes i mean a little bit but at the same time at the end of the day you're guessing also baseball's kind of guessing no smells guys no it's not it's a fraction of a second where you see the ball coming because i've played before and you can tell if it's going to be in the strike zone or not but also ted williams should say he could see the laces on a baseball and based on how the laces were spinning that's the ball would drop and go in a certain direction so that's gonna be a curveball as a slider like that's next level vision right but um all those things are kind of cool i remember a tennis thing i showed you where andre agassi was talking about playing this guy forest because yeah some tennis player and then in tennis you also have a split second to know which way is a serve going yeah and he said every time on this side of the court he would serve wide or down the middle he would stick his tongue out right before he served i found it watching tape yeah and then i never told him and then years later i told him but he used to always just know on that like so they're always looking for something yeah just stick his tongue out like this what they said they said that like and i don't know what goalies do you know and they're off time but i assume it's this that they were going through footage yeah and doing your that's the crazy thing about like professional penalties is that you have all the penalties this person has ever taken in their life and then you see what the england penalty lineup is because both the teams have penalty shootouts in the same tournament so you're like okay this is what their lineup was before this is where they all went last time and then you can see all their pks from their club years and you're like okay 60 of the time this player goes live going that way 40 times he goes right corner like and then you just have to kind of just take the percentage like also i bet you can have nerds that are crunching it and go he goes right if he's following someone who went right he also goes right yeah yeah like there's data to it statisticians on a team like my buddy has one on his team and literally all they do is go okay he shoots 80 of his shots from this part of physicality where does he start the penalty kick like is he more if he's more left he goes right if you've got six people to memorize and then they give you 70 chance that he's going to go right you go okay 70 i'm going i'll take that and then you're the shooter and you're like okay i know this guy knows what i do do i change it yeah because he's gonna change it or do i go the same way and then if i change it i risk missing it because this is not what i'm used to yeah because i normally hit it right in this one spot it's soccer song it's like super high stakes rock paper scissors yeah that's exactly what it is trying to figure out the psychology of this [ __ ] literally exactly that's the skill it takes about how frivolous it is like yeah that's why it's the most popular game in the world yeah they entered them yeah it's simple in that way like in the same way like the most popular gambling games are the ones where there's no skill roulette roulette is so much more fun like sitting there grinding out poker i want to be there for four hours a bunch of guys smoking cigarettes yeah [ __ ] sunglasses your buddy's with you like hey can i play you're like no you can't you don't know how to play you don't let throw it on it hit we're going to the club crap [ __ ] let's play yeah yeah luck i got it i was i was watching it i was watching it at a um a bar that was for english fans oh son they were devastating they looked too crazy after no no oh i didn't even know i didn't beat them i can't tell but it was just funny like they started crying there's a couple people started crying i'm like come on son for a euro like stop it like stop important that's all that matters or maybe olympics but i don't even think the good guys play anymore but it was at the same time they had the euros and concacaf so uh argentina won yeah for south america i mean those are the two best regions in the world right but america doesn't care about tournaments that aren't the whole world like we just want to win the world we don't care about your little section like that's adorable yeah that was an unbelievable tournament soccer slash football is incredible it's cool but it's for it's little like it's like when a college team wins you're like all right that's adorable but you know why penalty kicks are cool is because it's the most high-stakes [ __ ] we love steaks dude human beings love high stakes that's so [ __ ] high stakes yeah it's this kick right here five of them it's over quick so the pressure mounts each [ __ ] k it's just like it's game soccer it's hard man there's not a lot of reward you you really ought to care about the team but penalty kicks i don't need to be invested i can care you don't need to know anything about it's like okay they're inbound on the ball game's tied if he makes the basket they win the game like it's the most basic carnival games yeah it's basically karma yeah yeah it is it is good we're going to do a penalty shootout though yeah we should do it straight down the middle did you ever do that as kids world cup this is so weird i remember i was hanging on my homie's place he went to ut now there's a story that i was like oh we're all kind of the same my uh my in rohit you met him at the wedding uh i was he was a ut and i went to go visit him he had his apartment complex like friday night everybody's getting drunk we see this white party we see this indian party we're all just drunk outside and then my homie roy when he gets drunk he's like real just [ __ ] wild he just this is while the world cup is on he just slammed the soccer ball down in front of a white guy and he just goes world cup let's go and the white guy's standing in front of a wall i swear to god god doesn't say a word he just takes his shirt off gets into goalies and then we start doing india versus america and we start doing a whole world cup right there five kicks we lost at the end and wrote was [ __ ] devastated but it was just such a funny thing of like dude penalty kicks we all [ __ ] care about this that is true yeah it is true in hockey too it's exciting oh dawg it's so funny what hockey pks are amazing they're incredible because you get the skate up yeah yeah it's like slow-mo everything's happening yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right fine we gotta do we gotta do a penalty shootout all right let's do it i'm down i'm with it that's the part that's going to mccarran park we gotta do it let's do it i'm down with a little bit all right next okay uh let's talk about mcgregor poirier um you all got to see it we saw the fight where we were watching it at your wedding no disrespect all good uh the weather had technically finished by the time the fight came on uh it was cool you guys did that actually oh yeah it was very i actually thought about that thank you very much we really appreciate that um okay so let's talk about this because this is really interesting what's going on with conor mcgregor i post fight i am seeing him behave with the desperation that i've never seen him yeah it's sad it is really interesting he's super concerned with narrative yeah there's an insecurity that i haven't seen in him before uh for all of you guys you know watching listening right now obviously you know what happened he snapped his tibia right so he didn't like he basically broke his leg clean tibia amphibia against both bones that are in your your right above your ankle so he snapped those clean uh and and then yeah the you know the fight got stopped you know doctor stoppage but it was really important to him during the fight hey this isn't a tko loss dustin didn't beat me it's a doctor stoppage it feels as if he knows his prime is slipping away his time as the elite mma fighter that we knew him at is a slipping away and he is trying to hold on to it with [ __ ] everything dude um it's really interesting what's going on man what do you think do you think it's not just his pr i think his prime is slipped away it's done after this to me as a very very casual fan do you think he's like oh my legacy is tarnished at this point i think his deal with proper 12 yeah had stipulations oh boy that he might not be able to meet oh boy i have no proof to back this up but if you get 100 million or whatever the [ __ ] it is for proper 12. but it's put in there you got to fight this many more times and you either have to win the ufc championship or fight manny pacquiao or because he's like we're coming back we're fighting again i still want to do it why do you want to do it you got fake teeth i felt that one you got [ __ ] botox like you fix your like what are you doing here what purpose do you have as soon as you sent the thing that he had botox and i looked at his face i was like he got loose it's done yeah botox right now nothing wrong absolutely we all gonna be there yeah but but but you know what i mean like he's obviously caring about the way he looks he's being uh breaking your leg [ __ ] sucks dude have you broken your leg before no like i broke my arm but like the idea of like breaking your [ __ ] leg like not being able to walk six weeks into the crotch for what dude like you know what i mean like he knows like he doesn't want this you got 100 million dollars you have your family you have all these different things he's still cursing him out saying his wife is in his dms as he's leaving like you got absolutely bullied like we'll talk about the beginning of the fight where conor was out boxing him easily but then dustin landed two big shots on connor yeah it caused conor to kind of grab him and then once they were grabbed i mean dustin's just a far superior wrestler jiu-jitsu ground and pound and then dustin just bullied him on the ground i mean conor was just there doing absolutely nothing right yeah on the feet connor was out boxing him and he looked really good he was laying some big kicks do you think he broke his leg on the check i don't think people are saying he like dustin checked it with his elbow but then i saw another angle it doesn't look like he hit him when i was speaking to a buddy of mine who works in the nba and he said that the trainer and his team said those breaks often happen because of over training so the bone is already depleted due to the over training and i know that conor likes to ride the bike but every time i see him doing cardio he's on a bike and that always makes me curious because biking is not a great form of cardio uh in terms of time efficiency you want to get your cardio up on a bike you're biking for hours dude okay whereas if you want to run for an hour yeah i mean you're doing miles right you're running for an hour but bike you really gotta be on that [ __ ] thing for a while in order for it to really tap into your cardio right unless you're maybe going uphill or something it's just not an efficient source but i wonder if his legs were hurt to know it's because you trained too hard not even because you got beat because you just like wanted it too badly that said yeah yeah ronda rousey said that when conor was on the ground after the fight and almost marketing his next battle like he'll be back like no other fighter would ever think about like promoting why is he so desperate to do it there has to be something like he's immediately going yes and then he's also saying oh we're definitely gonna have a fight with nate diaz they're gonna have a trilogy fight with that like what is going on yeah that you are holding on to your place in the sport even after you have a hundred million in the bank is he maniacal like is that is it just a sociopathic like urge to beat people up i hope it's great i don't think so but i hope it's that what do you think i like i had this theory before i think it's the proper twelve i know you he sold all his stake in it but i still think like you said there's some type of clause where he needs to win he needs to keep winning you know how like sometimes you could sell a company like i think dana white has sold his portion of the ufc yeah but i think as part of that deal in selling your company you have to stay on for a certain term advantage invest these shares so in other words your shares vest over four years or something and this is the the people who sell or bought the company's way of maintaining the skill level yeah not the skill level but the operation guy knows how i think he got it to this point i want him to stay there get it to a bigger point and then he's free and he gets his money yeah i wonder if those things are built into his con there has to be something dude why is he so [ __ ] i thought it was he's sorry to interrupt but he's on his story i never see him on his story right he's on his story in his hospital bed right after the break hey surgery went amazing we're back that's an illegitimate win from dustin he's not he's really trying to create narrative he's posting stuff on his story about like the shots and how they didn't land from dustin there was no ground in pound yeah something's up two things one i might have messed up the nate diaz thing i reread the article even though it was posted like 12 hours ago or whatever on tmz might have been before the fight they were saying there will be a trilogy fight which would which would make sense with your proper 12 thing also right i though think it is a lot of it is uh he's going to lose relevance once he isn't fighting anymore how does he stay relevant and the thing about a guy that's that good at getting attention is that's a pretty intoxicating feeling you are that good at getting attention you're going to get a lot of attention once you get it you don't know what to do when it goes away that's true he loves attention and he's good at getting it and it's really addictive so once you are not good at the thing that got to the attention in the first place that probably [ __ ] with you your theory makes a ton of sense too my initial read was nah i think he is losing relevance and it's pathetic to watch him grabbing for yeah maybe maybe i think that's completely plausible two questions can you explain that the judge's scorecard for round one came in at like ten nine ten eight ten eight agreed to ten eighteen eight is for dustin for dustin yeah so dustin was so dominant in the round that they took two points away yeah and i don't think that that's unreasonable i think he was very dominant now i i wouldn't have given it 10 8 because i thought conor dominated on the feet like while they were standing conor was dominant i mean dustin landed the shot that kind of like staggered conor but i mean conor was kicking his legs off i mean he was really out boxing and out kicking him but uh once he had him on the ground connor is just useless on the ground like yeah okay it's in second yeah he's gonna fight dustin for sure again dustin just destroys him do you think this opens it up for a uh potential connor jake paul fight after does that is that what this leads to in the ufc world or this might have also been before the fight but i read in articles again from tmz saying uh the manager saying there's no way he fights jake paul now again that might have been before the fight and if you lose this badly and get not this badly but if you get kind of embarrassed like that like you're like just broke mid-fight and you're grabbing for anything and relevance and all that it could jay paul's that's an easy source it would be so [ __ ] entertaining it would be entertaining it's a real bummer because i wanted connor to win not necessarily because i like him so much personally i just everything is better when conor's winning yeah everything is better in sports entertainment yeah everything is better like when you have a charismatic fighter yes that is on top of the world yes ask him any question what do we do about israel palestine just let him go like let it i want conor at peak confidence yeah in every setting and then doing interviews going on different podcasts like talking about other fights like when connor connor can't talk about the next kumar usman fight yeah because he just got his [ __ ] ankle broken so he's gotta sit down and shut the [ __ ] up even if he does talk it's like you go sit down shut the [ __ ] up if he knocked pourier out in brutal fashion right yeah he's talking so much [ __ ] about everybody on the roster you gotta listen guys knock somebody out he got the right to talk um you get to talk to you beat somebody's ass knock somebody out you have to run your mouth what are we going to say that dustin's one of the best ufc fighters son we have to i mean like all credit to dustin he is a [ __ ] bully and frankly he's got conor's left hand timed really like yeah he caught him a couple times again like he just conor takes a it's he's not slow in throwing it but it comes from far back and you don't have to worry about his right hand at all like he doesn't have a strong jab or a good hook so you just got to worry about one hand and dustin's a really good boxer like really good and he timed out that [ __ ] left hand of connors and oh yeah yeah man it's a it's a bummer though yeah it's a [ __ ] box but like his last loss in the last five years was khabib yeah and dominating wins over other people man yeah so to me i'm like i mean you should be in the be in the combo yeah i mean yeah i mean i think once he gets the belt he'll fight charles oliveira and then if he beats charles like which is not easy but if he beats him i think that he's he's definitely in the comments you know what i was what you said something about connor you know it reminded me of when he hit his peak this was his influence i don't remember the last white athlete that influenced that black athletes were doing their [ __ ] like i remember i think dez bryant caught a touchdown pass and then on the sidelines everybody was doing that [ __ ] like he's a [ __ ] irish guy like the whitest white guy and he's influencing black culture i don't remember the last time that happened especially not in sports that's the power of a great fight he is the greatest fight promoter i've ever seen yeah i mean better than i i wasn't around for ali so i don't know what those times were like and i'm sure they were unbelievable but he's better than floyd that way better than floyd was amazing and floyd was amazing and when they fought conor was the one carrying that dude what he did he didn't even promote this fight until like three days before and once he started everything was a quote yeah every [ __ ] thing he said say something i was completely in wedding planning my the best one is uh i break people's faces and bounce yeah yeah yeah so bad dude it was unbelievable he goes i don't yeah he goes i know something somebody asked him what he does he is i don't do that i break people i'm not a celebrity i don't care about fame yeah because i'm not a celebrity i don't care about celebrity i break people's faces and bounce like oh my god you'll be carried on a stretcher he's a corpse he's a corpse kill him end his life that man will pay with his life yeah dude oh my god it's unbelievable like just making [ __ ] up i've only got one loss in the ring i only count losses from knockouts whoever shoots first a [ __ ] he's a [ __ ] you know taps they don't count he immediately puts dustin into guillotine the second he gets that's where i'm like why doesn't every fighter just watch that and go like is that they just don't got it bro yeah you gotta have it got it you got like everybody just talking wild [ __ ] it wouldn't be fun of charisma is something you have or you don't yeah and then there's things you can do to it's like athleticism it's like any trait charisma is something a lot of people are just born with and a lot of people are just not right charisma is a suit man you know some people just look amazing in a suit and other people look like they're going to court right you know like connor looks great in his suit bro yeah he really does everything fits yeah and and that guy can sell a fight and you know dana and the ufc they're upset not because they don't want to see dustin win i'm sure they like dustin i sure think he's really skilled it's just so much easier to sell connor yeah like connor versus charles oliveira they literally just go okay kind of do all the work should we make advertisements or no no no billboards we don't need nothing yeah like i i wonder if they look at the advertising budget for a connor fight and they just go reduce it by 75 yeah why would you spend like or or they know what the fight is going to come bring back and they're like we'll just keep the same ad spent okay something like that you know honestly you could be like don't spend the money on that just give it to me i'll take it i'll do it i'll take care of it but conor kind of proves like it doesn't even really matter necessarily what you do in the octagon if you can talk good game like well like when he was saying all this [ __ ] like oh he's a corpse like he's going to be taken out of here or whatever like he said all that [ __ ] last time when he lost to dustin well no he didn't he was super nice but like he said that before and then lost and it was like all right like when he was talking crazy [ __ ] to khabib and he loses and it's like he was overcompensating because last time he was very happy and joyce and tried to enjoy every moment and then got his ass beat yeah maybe he was like i need to go back to that old condom yeah but like if it doesn't even matter if you lose if you talk like if you promote the right way like and people will buy it and by people i mean me if he comes back and wants to fight him again i mean every fight yeah every single time what about that uh sugar shawn oh bro like and also uh shout out to chris moutinho like that guy had an amazing [ __ ] chin dude like alien zombie dude is that what he's calling himself so i'm calling him yeah they should i mean the guy walked forward the entire time actually hit up o'malley and i was like dude what the most impressive thing that happened in that fight for me was your will didn't get broken by this guy who kept walking forward and talking [ __ ] because that will happen a lot of times the fighters when they start playing like fighting against like the elite level you see with boxers like what happened with mike tyson mike tyson tells the story about uh the first time he just couldn't knock out this big white guy right in his amateur years and he just couldn't knock him out and he's used to just destroying every single guy he thought he could have knocked it out he just started falling apart in the ring he got like scared he didn't know what to do in that moment so it's like sean experiencing that now not during a title fight or not during a title eliminator or one of those now he goes okay i just need to breathe keep my composure keep on pot shot in this guy then landing heavy when i can but just go to a decision obviously they stopped this which i thought was kind of unfair to chris moutinho like you let the guy take a beating for 14 and a half minutes and then you give him 30 seconds right where he's i think it's kind of like disrespectful like yeah but um but i thought that was really cool he went through this right now that's going to be super valuable because you don't want to go through that in the second round of a title fight with the entire world watching you yeah where you go oh my god i can't knock them out i can't sleep this guy right what do i what else do i have yeah uh that was my cardio on point like yeah but it was a cool fight though yeah and like respect to the dude for coming on short notice that was part of the night and they each got an extra 75k yeah because it was ufc fighting i mean i love it what happens to that guy chris mattino oh he's on the roster like everybody's interested in him yeah everybody wants to see him again and i think what you do with him if i'm if i'm dana white is i start building him up like i don't leave him there as a human punching bag i go okay you've he fought quite possibly the worst person that he could fight an incredibly skilled striker yeah imagine he fought a guy who wasn't a skilled striker but just someone who's there to bang and that guy isn't going down now they're just slugging so now they're just like this guy can be a like a favorite you know like a donald cerrone type or something like he can be a journeyman if you will but a guy who makes tons of money on that journey having incredibly exciting wars yeah so build them up against guys who are a little bit lower ranked and not you know sean o'malley i mean they have title aspirations for sean o'malley i'm sure yeah like let chris build himself up in the same way that shawn built himself up you know like sean o'malley i don't think i don't think the first guys that he was fighting were ranked fighters no so i'm excited for that guy i think nothing went down in that guy's stock at all no i mean way up and i think that the ufc is really cool in terms of like they reward entertainment if you're entertaining [ __ ] out there even if you lose you're gonna be ready to fight again yeah i feel like the loser in the fight of the night will get more credit than like just a low card winner 100 percent even gilbert burns beating wonder boy it's boring it's like you're just gonna lay on top of him the whole [ __ ] time like [Music] sucks like i don't care i don't want to watch it boring whack yeah like don't care move on strike i know you don't want to strike with wonder boy because he's so good at it but like if we want to entertain us you want to get the big bucks that's not how you get a title fight right the way you get title fight is be entertaining as [ __ ] yeah like and i think what's cool is if if whatever you reward the fighters will do right so if you know that the way that you get a title fight is by knocking a [ __ ] out we'll go for knockouts yeah i'll dye my hair green dye my hair cream i'll get in there do whatever whatever i got to do i mean speaking of entertainment you saw trump pulled up ringside son whoa going full cent yeah leaning fully into trump but they've always been full married though yeah the knock was they're like they were at the what do you call it the rally or whatever yeah they're on air force one full magic canadians yeah but they're canadians which is so funny yeah i think i mean i kind of get it from their perspective it's like kind of voyeurism yes i mean like you just want the guy that's stirring the most [ __ ] up because that's what they do right they start [ __ ] up so like yeah whatever yeah i don't even know who the knock boys are i'm gonna be honest y'all talk about them tonight out of it i guys need to tap back into culture but he's been in like a time capsule though no clue what's going on this is idiocracy oh yeah guys just came back nah i'm i'm with you the only thing one of the guys is the one he goes like huh behind people that [ __ ] that's that's the only thing i know about that guy behind people in the grocery store yeah oh yeah yeah yeah he's one of the boys that [ __ ] with it yeah and then there's like the main dude i think his name is steve yeah steve will do it i don't even know what he does he i know he'll do it he will do it but i don't know what he does whatever it is i only know saleem [ __ ] because cause moaning at people that shifty's old job is the [ __ ] and just seeing their reaction you saw shifty doing it and that's where you got the idea no but they're legends of content nah they know what they're doing yeah and they teamed up with trump right he's at ringside with with uh another legend of content if we're being honest we can allow ourselves that you think trump's uh running again he must be has to be here why else is he in public all the time like why else is he like doing all these rallies and he spoke at cpac cpac with 95 certainty he would win the republican republican primary it's really trump's party dude it is that whole like oh it's the republican party is a party of trump and everyone was like nah nah it'll switch back it's so much trump's party that republicans still haven't left him like they still are they're still heavy trump people normally they just support whoever's in power whoever gets the job done whoever they think can win republicans play to win you can agree or disagree with what they're doing democrats play to do what's right republicans are like nah we just want to win yeah yeah you want to pay less taxes bro if republicans just came out and said that [ __ ] like there's the religious republicans and they're just like yo we don't care about anything else but religion that's the one thing abortion and then yeah literally just abortion that's the one thing that we're voting for right and then the rest republicans are like yo i just don't want to pay money in taxes like you want to teach critical race theory in school that's cool can i pay 25 taxes like if if democrats negotiated with what they wanted the woke [ __ ] with the tax decrease they could get there if you go up to like republicans who say we want to teach that white people are bad and should be slaves and it's 20 on your taxes they'd be like shackle me up that sounds great for me i put my white kid in a private school with only white kids and people decide what they learned there you are unequal to us but there's a flat tax i mean i'm in i mean the more republicans i speak to it's like there is the culture war that we spoke about but at its core it's how much you're gonna tax that's actually a good point because uh shouts to brian he always he told me he doesn't know the exact number and i forget it but something like 20 of republicans are single issue voters and abortion is one of the big i don't care any evangelicals yeah you can lose them you don't need to win everybody you need to win the moderates and if you could if you just said to them look man we just do do some liberal [ __ ] but i'ma cut the [ __ ] out of your taxes abortion is mandatory 10 flat tax abortion is mandatory though every woman who turns 18 must have an abortion before the 30th birthday that sounds fun for guys quite frankly ten percent tax i i think every guy would be like yeah once your daughter has an abortion you have to then you get the ten percent oh my gosh it's like a diary sign me up that's a u.s dowry i'm telling you the u.s gallery right there you get 10 taxes that's it that's not a good that's not a good idea listen there's going to be a lot of kids getting [ __ ] so that they're going to get attention yeah your daughter's going to be i think i might be home at 11. come on 12. yeah make sure that you keep it all in yeah here's 300 bucks go have fun who cares i got some extra money to blow i don't give a [ __ ] exactly we're saving money you pay that 300 one time you get 10 tax the rest of your life i'm just telling you that's how you get conservatives on board [ __ ] all this culture [ __ ] build a wall all that they did it's ten percent and that's what that's what they need to borrow that idea because trump was like we're gonna build a wall how are you gonna pay for it oh they'll do it that's what you do how are you gonna pay for all this [ __ ] with less taxes oh they'll do it that's it nobody cares if it's actually getting paid for it yeah they'll do it democrats what do democrats want gay things gay things they're just liberal [ __ ] they're liberal they're super liberal cops what do they want i'm trying to understand like if you had one thing like if you really just like what is your democratic they just want guys to like go and bang their wives dude on the dinner table while they watch yeah just carve through their turkey yeah some dude carves through their wife yeah dude that's true they're liberal cucks but in all seriousness like what is the one thing i think white liberals just don't want to feel bad for being like white so i think that they're again we're just talking about white people i don't know what black conservatives want i know what white conservatives want for the most part they aren't the religious ones it's just lower taxes uh they don't really care about all like the race stuff because they operate in their own communities anyway where they could just carve that [ __ ] out at the country club nobody's worried about critical race theory do what i meant but i think white liberals are just like how do i look like i'm an ally they just want to be an ally yeah that's it is that how can i have an ally card get a vaccine card and an ally card they'll be totally happy oh god dude they pay thousands for an ally howdy conservatives that's how you could fund every black program is just here's an ally card for ten thousand dollars they don't even want to go to the cookout they just want everybody to cook out to know they're not racist yeah how can i show everybody here i'm not racist i can't eat at the cookout the food is too spicy what am i gonna do with all the seasoning come on now it's crazy so but i just want the invite yeah i want you to know you wouldn't even have to invite me i would want to want to impose on your culture that might be a culture appropriation just tell me i'm not racist white liberals want to be told they're not racist sex is hateful that's just they want to be told because they know deep down but they want you to remove that guilt so how can conservatives remove that guilt from them we know how democrats can get conservatives on board how can conservatives get dems on board how do they get them out of that uh maybe do like a radio hotline or like a telephone number you can call okay and then a black guy i'll tell them they're not racist that's good that's not bad right but you can't trust a black conservative is what black people can be like that's not us yeah black people do a good job of taking any conservative they really do the work for the democrats they take any conservative like oh [ __ ] that guy ben carson one of the world's greatest neurosurgeons ah [ __ ] that guy he's an idiot yeah [ __ ] that guy that is so true that is so true yeah it's interesting it's actually really difficult it's way easier to turn someone democrat than it is to turn them liberal yeah like this is part of what [ __ ] the democrats though because they're so inspirative conservative because there's nothing that that these liberals want like the white liberals they it's not like they're poor right yeah but they're not rich they're not rich enough to benefit from the taxes and they're not poor enough where they're like dying and you can take advantage of their economic insecurity right right they're just in this middle space where they're like my life is comfortable the only thing i feel uncomfortable about is being potentially racist or sexist or homophobic please absolve me of that guilt right whereas like the white conservatives are like bro i got a little bread yeah and i'm trying to keep that [ __ ] breath yeah yeah i don't know if democrats are single-issue voters like that though no demo you can win a vote of a conservative with a single issue you can lose favor with the democrats over a single issue like you can you do one thing and this is where democrats [ __ ] themselves you do one thing we don't like we don't [ __ ] with you we don't agree with one thing is not liberal enough for us we don't [ __ ] with you and that's kind of what happens with cancer culture it's driven by liberals initially i know conservatives have their own snowflake cup [ __ ] too but with liberals it started with and this is what we're seeing oh you said this thing i don't like your cancel oh chrissy teigen even though you did so much work for us before here's something on you now we got to cancel you you know what conservatives need they need a black candidate trump's vice has got to be black but like black black black black snoop they need a black guy i'll vote for trump and snoop together yeah they need a black guy and they need kamala it's gonna be tricky with kamala because kamala is black right so she can call out that black guy but if it was two white people running for the dems and there was a black person and trump or a black person and a white conservative those white democrats couldn't say [ __ ] to that black yeah but you could snoop dog come on come on says [ __ ] she's like hey why are you are you locking us up on weed charges [ __ ] i'm the weird guy everybody can have weed yeah you wouldn't vote for snoop as vice president dawg free weed platform not if he's running with you you're a liberal cup you know that not if he's running with trump snoop was president and trump was vice president trump allow that [ __ ] you got too much ego for that i'm just saying there is something there they need to find a way to offset the racism and appease what white liberals really need which is to be told they're not racist and if they had a black candidate run and be like don't buy these liberal lies that if you support us you're racist i'm telling you you're not or you might be but you're not for supporting this agenda and also white people say wait a minute is it okay is it okay for me to step outside and support the black guy says okay and then they just call out the democratic party there's a bunch of old [ __ ] wipes uh white men anyway yeah and you're like see what they just do there is something there what about scheck she's president he's a sheriff law and order yeah i got a loan phd that could be wild i mean i don't hate it i could be wild all right what else we got oh drake yeah oh bro all right guys the infamous torque is about to begin i'm telling you guys do not wait for the week of because there will not be tickets available i think dallas has a handful of tickets left right now this is it we're not adding another show in dallas not having another shoot in houston that is it first weekend get it cracking i think we have some fun surprises you know can't say much more after that but you want to make sure you're there go get them right now uh also we added a couple shows i want to tell you guys about very important very important very important okay we added a late show for san diego go get that we added a fourth austin show for the special taping that is the late show on september 20th um we also added las vegas nevada will be in vegas on october 2nd we added a late show in washington dc on october 23rd we added a late show in san francisco at november 6th uh we added a late show in chicago on november 13th that is absolutely crazy chicago theater is one of the most iconic performance venues in the world it is an honor to be performing there tell your [ __ ] friends tell the world chicago come out for your boy very excited about that we added another show in minneapolis and then we added florida jacksonville florida we're coming back there december 5th go to the andrews.com for all of the dates there are many more dates that are also available right there get those tickets asap this weekend will be in denver and then the weekend after that we'll be in omaha go get those tickets as well d'andreauls.com uh all right guys here we go i'm married let's have fun on this tour i got no more weddings to plan we're about to get [ __ ] crazy july 22nd through 24th i'm in baltimore at magooby's joke house august 5th through august 8th i'm in naples florida we back at off the hook comedy club september 23rd to 25th i'm at the moon tower comedy festival in austin and new dates new dates new dates october 8th and 9th i am at dc in the comedy loft and it's finally happening toronto i'm going to be doing my first theater show october 15th the grand gerrard theater toronto i know you guys got crazy love for me but i have not seen it in person this is my first time there so i'm gonna get that ticket link as soon as i can i'm gonna get it early and i'm gonna throw it up on my site y'all buy the [ __ ] tickets and let's add more shows let's sell out theaters let's go go to akashing.com and i think alex you might have something you need to plug also yes you know i have wtf media studios that's here in new york if you're looking for a place to record your podcast also if you have a podcast you're trying to do at home or set up your studio i also offer consults so go to wtfmediastudios.com let's get back to the show let's talk about this this is uh drake is doing some absolutely next level [ __ ] this guy really understands flexing i thought the best flexer in the world was little duval and drake might have given little duval rum for his money yeah now granted drake got to spend way more money to achieve the same level of flex as duvall but this flex was unprecedented okay for multiple reasons one apparently he's dating the mom of one of bronie junior's teammates and i guess the ben the best uh player on his high school basketball team yeah so that's why he's at all these high school basketball games with lebron you know showing support you're also showing support to mom dukes and the kid yeah right uh mom got the wagon she does she does full wagons yeah i'm a g-wagon like a g-wagon she got the g-wagon dude amg package the whole thing like she is stacked bro it's stupid yeah i was on instagram for a minute but no reason that's funny he got it he got a type though they all looked the same so he got a type he got a nice little type he like a wagon bro he likes a web you like a nice light-skinned wagon he does right and not always light's good who he got the dark serena yeah serena had a wagon on her shereen she do have a wagon yeah he got it he just has the type he likes wagons yeah he does bruh he does so anyway he goes on a date with her did you see this i heard that at dodger stadium right so they're literally sitting on the first baseline near the seats but on the actual field having dinner and then a drone flies in zooms in and gets a video of it now we are supposed to believe as if drake did not plan this drone to come in and take a picture impossible i find it hard to believe that drones are even allowed to fly over dodgers right there's probably something that limits a drone from flying over it or else if you had a [ __ ] drone and you live in los angeles you'd fly it over dodger stadium non-stop i bet there's a no-fly restriction thing that they can even put up over the stadium to stop something like that just cities like that in general you have to have a license it's a whole thing it's very difficult so of course this has been put together now drake complete innocence but maybe my team did it i had no clue i would never want to blah blah blah and maybe that's the case maybe the case maybe he's like i'm going on this date that's it you guys are the team that creates cool content do what you do but let me plead ignorance but that shot of them eating dinner in an empty dodgers stadium was unfucking believable yeah swag i mean super super super he's king he's king right now he really is there's nothing you could say he got it back he was slipping a little bit like people were saying ah maybe drake's day is done he's not top dog but he's top dog he's hot he's this generation is jay dawg he's just gonna have the long time he i've never seen jay pull a move like that to be honest with you yeah jay put his helmet on backwards on yeah yeah jay fighting for his cool every time he leaves the house yeah yeah like every time jay leaves the house and it's not like an actual photo shoot people are ready to clown oof yeah you know what i mean oh he got titties but in flexing in terms of like jay buying companies jay's a [ __ ] oh yeah yeah actually yeah jay behind closed doors is the baddest man on the planet yeah he's so great behind closed doors you ignore the fact that when the doors are open he looks like a dork he does absolutely jeff bezos cooler than him yeah they relax relax relax he is cool he's relaxed jb cooler than jay-z exactly i'll take jp over jason what does it tie to dodger stadium like baseball i've been to a shorty's from l.a but it's still like it's not expensive by the way just fyi it don't matter if it's not expensive you rent it out that's why you do it have have you done it yet i don't like baseball staples would have been fired this is your statement he shouldn't afford to rent a tesla he's not going to be able to rent out just how far is your tesla it's great yeah that's just what a deflection what a deflection it's great he was flexing super flexing but be honest do you want to eat in daughter stadium that's not oh the game's not even on like where are you cooking the food the chef was right there that's what that's flying but the chef got to cook the food yeah some contraption that it was heated like he was cooking right there in front of you that's going to be the best chef and that's that's just boring bro going on a date with your girl you want to like look around this movement it's just it's great it's a fantastic flavor that don't matter that shouldn't matter son it's a great flavor it's a great place this is a great date yeah yeah that's the most expensive groupon i don't know there's something about it there's nothing you know you can't drink a group like that honestly it's not even during the season it's not like they doing anything there yeah yo if you rent it out during the season for free you might have got it during the season it is it is during the season oh basically oh no all the lights are on everything's going just for hit like come on oh that's expensive you got to pay an electricity bill your high school business two hours yeah i think the fact that you even the fact that you even have that access hundreds of dollars nobody can do that electricity i don't care how much money it is nobody can do to get the lights on and i don't believe that everybody can do that i don't [Applause] still hasn't had a private date at philly state yeah what if he has he has it what if he has he just couldn't post it it ain't on the ground for all it ain't on the ground so it didn't have to happen come on more impressive but the date is tragic the flex is cool but if you really break down the date it's basurita no it is what if the food is bumped two things can be true super flexing is often whack so during quarantine you had dinner in a hotel room son yeah that [ __ ] was fire and the food was amazing so boom what are you well hold on how are those the same a hotel room with access to electricity with a plug right there especially when you can't eat yeah [ __ ] field you know [Laughter] if the chef was just there for you huh you go out on a date and another guy gets fed by your girl [Laughter] i mean isn't that how we all do it like yeah hold on yeah [ __ ] yeah and put your short hair yeah man i love going out to eat i'm [ __ ] eating out liberal cook yeah you're a fine dining liberal cup [Laughter] damn son no all right all we're saying is objectively speaking the date was trash objectively speaking exactly date was trash two things can be true it can be an incredible flex and a trash actually here here's a perfect example like i i i have this backwards bro you can't do this is it disrespectful the difference is you think can you tell him it's disrespectful for him to be adjusting and all this stuff is disrespectful but if it it just should be covering the ears i know they tied over the ears i know they did but like it it does hurt my ears it is painful yeah i think as long as the hair is covered you're right yeah you guys cyber and strong what they got to make like dumbo proof you know what do you mean dumbo is their [ __ ] they can put one of these on dumbo i don't think this is honestly it is painful for these yeah no it's hard it can be especially with those ears it could be pain i was telling them [ __ ] my ears not meant to go back okay so back to the flex if if i had a fire ass date in the [ __ ] middle of the sahara desert and some [ __ ] like that it sure looked beautiful yeah but it sucks because i'm in the middle of the desert you had dinner at the top of the eiffel tower and you rented out the whole [ __ ] that's a fire flex [ __ ] fire but the food's not gonna be good it's cool it's gonna be mad cold up there wins super high winds super wings i ran out the whole empire state building i got a private chef bringing up cold food the food is going to be cold the actual date both y'all are going to be like the date wasn't fun but the [ __ ] was it was ill come on david i'm just saying there's a whole department for that date that you can go online right now and book yourself i hate it this is odd that you're acting like it's not easy to do like to just rent out [ __ ] or like everybody's thought of this hey let me just run out of stadium bro there's a whole page both y'all being a little weird let's go how much doesn't say the price you got to fill out look at it don't even don't even say the price stadium what part like do you wanna you can't even see the price are you on ticketmaster right now are you trying to buy seats is that what's happening drake probably said i'll play over here maybe he's got a concert lined up dodger stadium free date this is no tie i'm just trying to understand that the tie-in haters bro like crawl it out a little bit of a hater yeah i've been knowing this you're lucky you're late as him i am he's low-key a hater just keeping him in the shadows we've never seen him no [ __ ] out of him i'm a little annoyed you all didn't remember him no he's fine three or something huh does he have a degree yeah what's his agreeing business or some [ __ ] he was an ohio state homecoming kid look i tried to hate on his degree his motherfucker's a comic business some [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah he actually made his parents proud don't matter when you're that good looking oh he's a dentist or something some trash dude that looked like a star in a bollywood movie that's what the [ __ ] we've been talking about no no no no there's another dude the best outfit of the weekend was the was that the actual uh me me yeah yeah it was the dude with the thing darker guy oh yeah your cousin he lives in boston now with his wife tall dude tall the fit was fire dark skin i'll give you that or darker skin more chocolatey yeah something one of your parents uh brothers kids they're up in boston now like he's indian as [ __ ] he's indian like he is indian oh [ __ ] you know what i'm talking about i'll be sick maybe you could say that no yeah no you haven't been shake oh no but he was told and then there was the other dude with the beard earrings he looked like the villain in every single volleyball oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah shouts yeah yeah he does look like the best he's the captain right there yeah man son oh hell yeah y'all all right uh what else we got yo uh we got richard branson going to space oh yeah these billionaires fighting over but you see his little [ __ ] puddle jumper that little [ __ ] cessna space the son that little space testing was garbage and here we go he went to the top of the sky he barely even went to space yeah he's really making a big building in space i could float okay but now like i could float like if you go high enough do you think the snake charmer makes the other guy float oh i don't know where i was getting that i was just gonna try to make his snake float you know you float by blowing the [ __ ] flute that could work yeah it depends come on you don't know you don't know we're teaching you about your culture yeah it's just [ __ ] together this [ __ ] is tight as [ __ ] okay so i gotta just go through a mall all right put it the right way and here's his dove coming in he's like going to space is easy we can all go to spaces come on i'm looking right now i'm looking right now there's a group offices there's a groupon i mean they're going to do in 2022 they're going to go there but are you going to space nobody's touching elon musk and his all right we get it you're messing with tesla [Music] [Applause] how many shares you got let's bring out shares how many shares do you have he's got a lot of [ __ ] how's this ball more how many shares you have whatever you bought i still own ten times as much oh god damn oh [ __ ] damn sonny [ __ ] on your own podcast no this is your andrew shelton's yeah does flagrant food oh and now he's my son so it's okay river to the sea from the river to the sea yeah three palaces and green squares yeah okay we're going to be switching some things up over here free palestine podcast you're wearing blue right now i am wearing blue for israel oh is this for israel that's your blue square right there that's that is actually israel blue right there he said he dressed you two sons saying are you wearing his glasses he said he dressed you too son i'm all out of energy you dumb [ __ ] house son how many shares you got how many shares you got just say the number bro i don't know just say it don't say the numbers people can't see your [ __ ] face anyway they just see your big ass 350 000 worth of tesla what do you have show me the three yeah [ __ ] he said that's still light nah he ain't got [ __ ] you're a part owner though for real i'm the level of shares i own that yeah they send me invites to the you know elon called you ever or what do you get you for your birthday you definitely didn't get the drive why are you sharing prices rising i mean not recently you know you should have said that more confidence confidence and delivery by the way 12 of you attacked me that night when alex pulled up his tesla oh i killed him you gotta kill him oh what happened no no you don't remember like y'all were just making fun of him and uh y'all were just [ __ ] killing him and then it was you my girl maybe was mark there so [ __ ] weird i don't know i don't think i was oh i was i was just killing his tesla and then my girl called me over she's like we're ganging up on dove [Laughter] and then you were just trashing it for not having to drive by yourself or any of that [ __ ] yeah you got a silent honda right come on bro yeah sorry sorry i had to i had to land the final blow son what was it i'm not telling you again you don't deserve it you don't deserve it bro you know what it was yeah what it was it's your old tesla yeah this [ __ ] is fine or what it's so great dude uh-huh i love this car i'm so happy you see driving that tesla don't you want that no he got driven don't you want that to his uh to the ceremony yeah i had my final cousin drive me ladies i like to see it all the way back took a little nap [ __ ] that was low-key a little sad when you pulled up though yeah you pulled up he was like off in the corner he just turned around and started walking away so that's still honest yeah the tesla he was yeah tesla oh [ __ ] i'm kind of cut because it's still yours technically the title's in his name and transfer hasn't happened yet it's taking a couple of weeks i'm so happy when are you going to transfer out of you [ __ ] i'm so happy you're super charging in new york because i keep getting these like little songs i'm happy you have no one hey hey hey hey i'm still happy of noah in this world thank you who's going to be with dove on his deathbed you think when he dies he'll be alone dude just him and some tesla shares that's where you're going with the tesla shirts to the moon all right do we care about these billionaire cucks going to [ __ ] space it's embarrassing that's all flex why can't we talk about that being no because it's embarrassing because you're in second place and now you're trying to get first on some [ __ ] you really go you want to be there on a technicality but like a [ __ ] went to that same [ __ ] on a hot air balloon like you don't even need a spaceship you need hot air literally if you got a balloon you could go just as far david blaine done did this already yeah bro like your [ __ ] is stupid that virgin what is his name richard he sucks he's not a virgin but that guy has tons of sex no i know but uh he sucks you like he's a [ __ ] bro he's no no that guy's a hydra loser yeah he's a [ __ ] loser i'm gonna go to the top of space before you but you did it on some technicality [ __ ] it's like if drake didn't rent out dodger stadium he ran out of like the anaheim angels you know what i mean like go for the real [ __ ] go to space or don't what doesn't talking about say what what is space orbit what is consent no no but like yeah be out of here be out of here bro yeah bro go to space right they were floating that's why andrew can back them i floated in the [ __ ] uh the hover machine right yeah what's that [ __ ] called hot air balloon no oh indoors got out indoor skydiving oh yeah i was it that was also when you want a hot air balloon you can float it's not that hard bro floating is not that hard something they'll be doing that [ __ ] in turkey with like a hundred of them exactly richard branson is a [ __ ] dude and i mean that sincerely oh yeah that i didn't hate him until that now like just so whack because you're in second of people that like i want us to get invited to nicaragua hey yo you're such a facebook [ __ ] yeah as dumb as this he i know [ __ ] you're a hey andrew i got a call scheduled at 1 30 with this lady she gets you into epstein island very important great procedure yeah we can get some seed money no but i will back up andrew because he did turn down being able to shoot at the brooklyn nets arena uh the special because he's like it's not msg not having it's not doing that we can't do it they would've spent a lot of money to do it i'd have done it but respect for you for not doing it we gotta do it automatic branson that [ __ ] for sure but floating in barclays like that have a sour taste in your mouth about branson at all i don't like it no i don't like it because you were losing so just let this guy let this guy beat you instead of like kind of trying to beat him and then pounding your chest i got there first no you didn't yeah you just said [ __ ] sore loser yeah but he's been doing the virgin galactic [ __ ] for a while [Laughter] he did it one of his test pilots died no nothing annoyed me that when i have a point and somebody shits on it right away no he's been doing that mark really likes this guy why do you like this guy when i be talking to my girl like suggesting [ __ ] with the wedding like before i say anything i have to be like just hear me out think about how it could potentially be good because no matter what i suggest it's wrong yeah yeah you got to suggest the wrong [ __ ] that way she goes back at you and then picks the ball you actually want that's that'd be a smarter way to do it sometimes i'll be getting excited about my ideas my ideas are fire this is one idea you're doing the sword that's one thing you said you're going to do definitely swords wedding uh no no this was one idea no i don't want to give away my wedding [ __ ] yeah i mean have these [ __ ] try to copy me so if richard branson could get married two months before france is going to be getting married right at my [ __ ] destination too you get married in space aren't we so pissed dude [ __ ] that dude what a [ __ ] my whole life i dream of a baby i'm a big boy and i'll come to space as a big boy hey what could you dream of like if you've got a oh yeah ain't nothing good happening on the island nothing legal happening why do you need to separate yourself from the wrestling your own country come on baby [Music] something a little suspicious i mean johnny depp was beating the dog [ __ ] out of his wife on the island wasn't he he was raping her but he was beating the dog [ __ ] out of her come on right [Laughter] goddamn island bruh oh my god johnny depp was there yeah if you have an island it's us yo if you got an island you're suspect at the very least and watching him [ __ ] rape the space race like that he a rapist dawg there you go i don't like that he bugged bezos i'll be honest that's what i like about it bazel sucks too but they know [ __ ] about it that i love it i love that they're all bitching at each other and then branson goes oh yeah no i'll go space no but elon been one he just beat him ben had rockets yo yeah he's not even first he didn't go he's scared yeah he is [ __ ] elon is [ __ ] that's fine but he don't care he's not beating his chest about i was first in space hold on i'll sound like [ __ ] glitter richard branson didn't say that he was just up there he's like he was saying when he was a boy that's all he wanted when i was a weezer why was a weird little boy growing up oh i was so excited i got help in the spies and then we went up there and i brought exactly nobody from my life but scientist because all i care about is me i will say the fact that he wrote that [ __ ] trapped mark yeah he defend so instead i put my broom on my head and i have it if he ripped it i'd be like all right but the fact that he wrote i was like that's what you wrote down that was your essay what would the next generation of rapists do with their billions [Laughter] [Applause] like you can literally make kids not poor anymore yeah there's some people they get too much space in their stomachs [ __ ] they're doing some kid in guatemala's like well yeah he's an amazing girl he's a [ __ ] dude he's a [ __ ] cup hey richard branson you probably watching cause you got no other friends you [ __ ] dork you're a [ __ ] dork you will invite us to your island so if somebody will hang out with you you [ __ ] imagine inviting people that aren't your friends to your island that [ __ ] would suck i don't like hanging out with not my friends in general because you got friends he doesn't he got no friends because people got no friends and you're stuck on an island with them you're stuck on a [ __ ] island dude this guy's a loser bro you're a [ __ ] loser dude it's unbelievable what a monumental loser he is here hey his little helicopter he took up there actually even a plane bro did you see that they literally you you saw how they sent it up in the air [ __ ] cocked back his elbow and then tossed it that's how little his stupid little [ __ ] plane was right who's the coolest billionaire then billionaire millionaire billionaire who's the coolest billionaire yeah jay jay not a billionaire a little barely billionaire hey hey hey relax all right so that's let's state let's relax real billionaires super billionaires the real wealthy wealthy mother yeah not [ __ ] barely keeping our head above water yeah [ __ ] like this like this but just 900 million yeah we're going to be 100 million bro we need a billionaire bro real talk who is the who's the best billionaire yeah who's the coolest billionaire like super billionaire honestly what are you saying oprah she's not trying to go to the moon with her money like that's the liberal cuck answer right there yeah yeah bro come on well you know what these [ __ ] ain't really billionaires like you don't got the cash you're not a billionaire you got your little stock options but you can't sell them because then the stock dropped so you're not really a billionaire you're not billionaire oh okay that babies you're not billionaire elon musk you're not billionaire you only got a house oh i i sold all my houses or whatever [Laughter] when i'm older like me puppies hey i'm to have no houses in rent me houses owning a house is such a material i said [Laughter] i'm going to get rid of all me material assets yo real talk that's super cocky dude oh [ __ ] yeah just letting someone else live in your house bro just saying you don't even got your own house you gotta ask permission every year can i still live in your house can i still live in your house or do i have to move all my boosts well that's what i do son exactly living like you son that's a good point yeah god damn brother is it bill gates it might be bill cosby son if we've really been oh my god gates if we really want to talk about the he had a side [ __ ] locked in he's tried to help the most if you really want to talk about the [ __ ] who's tried to help the most people now if you look at him helping for nefarious intent he's the worst right but if you look at him helping for altruism like if you literally look at him trying to like vaccinate parts of the world and end the things that are killing like and actually help the most people if you look at it through zero criticism probably helped the most yeah if you look at it with um what's the word like rose-colored glasses rose-colored glasses are like give them the benefit of the doubt yeah it's bill gates yeah and the guy had a side [ __ ] locked in once a year i get a vacation with this [ __ ] don't worry about how ugly she is yeah she was a ugly side [ __ ] yeah but but it's locked in but it's locked in yeah so if you own an island son you're a rapist and gates had a mansion not an island he had his house was an island it's a big-ass house come hang out my house i'm just saying why you need to be on an island that's weird dawg yeah that's a lot that's weird something illegal going on go shakira owns island leonardo dicaprio owns island i mean come on right sure mel gibson owns island sorry dove uh john lennon i know he's not allowed on that island steven spielberg john legend owns an island yeah no not john legend no jonathan island john lennon dead bruh i guess he used to tyler perry on the island fax what do you think he's doing on his island you had to guess cracking chocolate cheeks chocolate cheese dressed as my dress [Laughter] oh [ __ ] nicholas cage on his eye oh [ __ ] no chill out with that [ __ ] bro what you gonna do now son stop south side eczema archipelago he owns one of the little islands in there oh my god show us what you have to say i don't count it's not an island like that he probably got his house on a little water surrounded land maybe it's a pound it might be a picnic it's not an island it's a little archipelago sound there's one it's a water surrounding land yeah it's not an island yeah it just has like what like a moat or whatever the [ __ ] that yeah there's a water surrounding land yeah it's just a moat that's worse dawg if you just say yo come to my water surrounding land that sounds way better like come to my island like one of my archipelagos kravitz owns the island how hard is it to own island bro nah that's fly lenny's always been flying how are you always been fly but that's water surrounding if you're a millionaire i got an island that's a flex you're a billionaire and got a island you're a loser that's what i think it is oh because she i'm like that's kind of cool she could afford a island yeah yeah i didn't know she didn't just kidding why a city yeah king's country bro how hard is it to buy a country king cuck richard branson it's like dog you're a loser take care of people if you own a country and [ __ ] like that i mean sincere take care of people like you gotta worry you gotta watch all the poor people in almost space if i would spit on richard branson if i saw him jesus disgusting keeping his face you couldn't touch him die she would float he would dodge it maybe that's facts and then they cut the back around in order to hit him get him in the back of the head yeah i wouldn't see him oh she's at that guy that's so gay that almost face [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] that dude i got an indian friend whose dad used to insult him by calling him a sigred seagrater it's just like you're just somehow as an insult you're a c student but he's a seagrass billionaire greater c greater oh but he's a c greater millionaire that's hilarious he's insulting each other it's not even fail yeah that's good you gotta try you want to fail you probably didn't try but you've tried and got a c yeah [ __ ] that c great um guys is there anything else oh i had a story about miles oh yes we got another milestone so it's so funny uh we're leaving this is after night one um your cute nieces are walking out we're all talking about like oh my god they're so beautiful they're so beautiful yeah and miles is like yo it sucks i'm never gonna have kids that cute and we're like mom what do you mean and then he's like like like i mean look at me i i'm never gonna have kids that cute but he's really just implied he's never gonna [ __ ] black girl it's so funny he had to dance he was dancing i was just so entertained wait has miles never been with the chocolate i doubt it what has been with chocolate i can't confirm that no i don't think that's it i mean it makes if you look at the pictures guys i can either confirm nor deny he confirmed yeah yeah yeah i don't think i don't think yeah he's never even made out with chocolate i don't think so maybe he's made out you don't know what he's missing no you gotta hook him up oh dude we gotta get out of here we gotta get him oh my god he looks like the kind of guy right actually i i can see him with like a like a vietnamese chick no it's such an insult son that's the biggest white guy oh see that's prize that's that weird white [ __ ] you're talking about he's calling him a [ __ ] prize [ __ ] conquistador [Laughter] yeah it is like a vietnamese girl i need to get into the country i need citizenship real bad i can see that you're a terrible best friend yeah yeah i know the worst part i'm going to hook him up though now we got to get him a black girl bro yeah yeah would really whip him into shape yeah he could do it really if he could handle it it would really whip him i think we need a black beautiful woman sorry he gets a black girl he's gonna come in here like chat hanks he's gonna come in like chat heck so swagged out i think we need i think molly's a black girlfriend yeah we need to get mile black you would make it a white boy fall we could do white boy yeah yeah black queen bro mousey is a black queen nubian queen you being princess nubian bro facts bald headed shaved head yeah black woman shea butter yeah what'd you say shea butter shea butter he could take her to like a high school baseball field go on a little date then little pee wee [ __ ] tv baseball parks i was gonna go to the bowling alley off hours maybe they're at 4 30. we're eating on late night he'd be on the date and cooking the food are you like hot dogs we're smiles bro we got miles miles all right he's gone anyway um guys we love y'all we appreciate y'all but most importantly archives we're so proud of you man congratulations on getting married thank you man love you guys we love you we're grateful to be there for that amazing celebration congratulations to your wife and uh she's got an amazing guy so um yeah do yours do yours in uh six months yeah you guys are bachelors bachelor cooks [Laughter] you guys are such a bachelor's dude we got you coming up [Laughter] but you guys are bachelor cucks bro i'm like me akash we are married as [ __ ] yeah married but you've never had a bachelor party son no no no i might do mine after i told her i might do mine after and she's like yeah yeah oh yeah you're going to the bowling alley with miles right there last bachelor party isn't that a me bachelor party yeah yeah it would be it's just a regular oh my god it's two lanes guys yeah it's unlimited i'm living in nachos we're in who's in all night maybe let's have a look in [ __ ] there well anyway guys we love y'all we appreciate y'all and uh patreon episode this friday we will see you there sign patreon.com join the [ __ ] army support the flagrancy thank you so much peace you

Channel: Flagrant 2

Views: 588,759

Rating: 4.9153929 out of 5

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, flagrant 2, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, interviews, akaash singh, alexxmedia, alexx media, alex media, eddin, eddin media, Thankyoueddin, conor mcgregor, dustin poirier, indian wedding, akaash, lgbt, lgbtq, spelling bee, world cup, england, italy, cuba, cuban protests, drake

Id: piZBRlERdgg

Length: 180min 53sec (10853 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 13 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/-CoolHandLu]

You guys can discuss Akaash cousin here, but post about them on the sub will be removed outta respect for his privacy. One of the rules is no post about their family or personal info, Someone dropped his IG on this and that’s fine. But no solo post about him. So just chat about that here on the discussion of the episode lol 👌

[u/keeoh]

Akaash looking buffer? Those steroids doing some work son?

[u/AndyOde]

His cousin: https://www.instagram.com/amit_raghuv/?hl=en

I mean he's a good looking guy, but I was expecting someone way better looking.

[u/SouthDakotaMadlad]

This is a amazing episode

[u/charlie9227]

Did anyone get Akaash’s cousin IG name ? Asking for a friend

[u/chickenhogies]

One of the best podcast lmfao. Instant classic just from those shoes Lmfaoo. Laughed mad times.

[u/ehsstriker10]

I don’t like the slander on the worlds greatest sport. But I’m lookin forward to this PK shoot out lol

[u/LaguneroTorreon]

I want to challenge u/alexxmedia to a 1v1 fútbol game, gotta watch ya mouff bruh

[u/scarletknight23]

Now I gotta see what Aakash’s cousin looks like😂