My Friends, Real Friends | Philip Anthony Mitchell

hi and welcome to the victory charge podcast if this ministry has been a blessing to you please consider supporting the spread of the gospel by visiting us online it's just in the giving option that works best for you if you have a testimony we'd love to hear it send us an email to share at victory Church of HCl Dhaka once again we thank you for tuning in and we really hope you enjoyed this message hey listen if you're here for the very first time or if you're watching this message right now online podcast YouTube we want to welcome all of you to victory Church we're so glad that you appeared this morning and I want to give a special shout out to my wife and I went out in the lobby last week we haven't we had an incredible time at God's president's last week my wife and I went out in the lobby and we just try to hug everybody we could and loved one everybody we could we met so many visitors and people we had never seen before people who came during the month of June and decided to make Victory their home Church like it went from dating us in June the same man we married to the Fellowship's or not we want to give a special shout out to everybody who joined us in the month of June I think that that is incredible for the fact that my wife and I were not here in the month of June I take sabbatical during that month and we put up men that I've poured into and and done life with our awesome communicators we can give it up for them Eric and Kenny and Mark Cuevas and Elder Milton and uh and and the fact that people would come during the month of June and make victory to home church without me even being here it just speaks volumes of the culture of our church and what God is doing here in our midst the growth of our church all the hundreds of people that are in this room right now so if you joined us in the month of June a shout out to you so glad that you are part of our family so glad that you're here we believe that you're in a good place or you can crawl and learn and find good community and and we I want a gun and tell you right now so if if you came here during the month of June let me put all the chips on the table this is not a perfect Church if you stay here for any length of time somebody may or even will hurt you but the issue is not about you being heard but how you resolve that the Christian Church is not a perfect Church I wish you would stop preaching that nonsense I stop believing that garbage when you go to conferences and read books if you read the New Testament is full of some sixty one anothers love one another be patient with one another I'll do one other why are those one anothers there they assume that we will have conflict and the one another there to teach us how to work through problems okay and and the true test of that is when we come into issues in a Christian community and we're able to work through those issues for the glory of God we come out on the other side better people and so if you came in June please don't think we're a perfect church but we are radical people and we are radical people we are gospel people we love the Scriptures we love Jesus we love worship and we're so glad that you're here so shout out to all of you who came during the month of June this is gonna be a little crazy but I'm doing a quick two weeks tenth a quick two week series call friends okay friends and I want to give you some back drop of how this series came to be and I'm not to put some of our our our team members about to put them out there a little bit muttered put their business a little bit in the street and yeah I just got to forgive me for this but I'm going there and I generally have a preaching calendar that I follow I put together in that calendar a year in advance and so every week and every month I kind of know where I'm going in terms of my preaching calendar our teams know what we going and so my preaching calendars normally prepared a year out in advance every year inevitably the Holy Spirit will add things to that calendar that was not on their things we could rearrange and things were end up on the calendar I had no intention of preaching this is a series that I had really no intention of preaching did not prepare for it to begin in the year did not study for it did not lay out a lot of material for it so what I have for over these next two weeks is really like kind of hot off the press I didn't have time to really cook it the way I wanted to cook it and I'm making that disclaimer because I want to tell you how this series came to be so about two weeks ago some some team members were in the office the team members were in the office having a meeting and my wife and I were not there and the meetings started out a little rocky I don't know if the Holy Spirit was there because the meeting quickly degenerated to a heated I don't want to use the word argument but it quickly degenerated to a heated and contested conversations in which tempers rose above 80 degrees words flew things were said wounds were given scars were made doors were slammed people walked out people were borderline about the cursing and almost lost their salvation the people of God now this is happening right like team members in a church and it was an all-out fight at the office and these things on evitable in the company of people it was the first time that I've ever happened with our team very first time I was called in the very next day why my wife and I were way trying to move and my wife came up to me while I was cutting my grass she said honey you got to put all your past or hat I said what happened she said honey was a big fight yesterday at the office I said really she said I took off my gloves I can't afford to pay nobody cut my grass I cut my own grass and took all my clothes my stomach was in knots I said what happened good Selina what good I said what happened I sat down on the sidewalk next to my lawnmower and she begins to tell me about the fight that broke out in the office she said honey you gotta putting your pastoral hat and that night I called a meeting the very next day I came in the next morning I sat down with the team members who were involved had a very serious talk with them about what happened led them in reconciliation in that room was not only team members but were also some friends that were in that room the relationships had been strained as a result what happened and and and we was not about to allow the flesh or the devil to have the best of us in that situation and so after the meeting one of the people that were in the room sent me a text that said to me well pastor you know since we had this massive fight you know why don't you you came and talked to us one two why don't you talk to the church about friendships since we had this massive fight let's not let this big fight go to waste like man I don't even sound spiritual to be talking about what do a series told my friendships and after a week of having nothing I said I came back to that team member said you know what I'll yield to your suggestion now take two weeks and I'll talk about friendship so what I'm about to do is I'm gonna take two quick weeks to talk to you about friendship I know some of you it doesn't sound like super spiritual and I know you want something deeper than that and this is not gonna be a deep series but it is gonna be very practical for some of you it may save you from going down a road right now that you do not want to be on because of the people that are around you for some of you may cause you to evaluate the people you call friends for some of you it may open your eyes to things that you have swept under the rug for some time for some of you you might come out of here better than you are right now and if you listen this is all based on a biblical worldview and so if you're not a follower of Jesus if you're not a Christian I you don't you're not forced to do any of this but I do feel like the principles I'm gonna share with you in these next two weeks can help you anyway even if you're not a follower of Jesus okay and so again I did not prepare for this series I don't have a whole lot of study going into this this is just like I don't even bake this bread I like just put this bread together and I'm just gonna throw it out there and wherever it landed land and however it fall at four and we're gonna trust the Holy Spirit to do something with this argument and if you get anything out of this message at all we'll give credit to the God who knows how to take things that the devil meant for evil and turn them around for our good amen because I want to tell you something I know that that you go somewhere you drop juice or you drop milk or you drunk and you spill it on the ground you say old man but God don't spill something like he does not waste experiences and God is able to take every experience both good and bad mountaintops and valleys and use all of it for your good for I hear the scripture rising up in my spirit he worked all things like not some things not a few things not the things that I select but he works what all things for the what for the good of those who what who love him and who are called according to his purpose or even the things that bring pain even arguments among team members even scars even that which we did not anticipate what's gonna hit our life God is able to turn that all around for a good and when this is all over man I got another voice that's gonna come behind me who God turned everything around for that person is good man I'd even know that person is gonna be here God just worked it out perfectly for today so awesome that God said a cherry to put on top of his cake that I'm about to give you today so this is fresh bread have it fall is fall I'm entitled in this first message my friends real friends better than your friends know my friends real friends I mean if Jay and Bey could get this right without the Holy Spirit I know the people are done we don't get this right and Jesus name so imma title this first message my friends real friends they're better than your friends thank you so much gentlemen you know the scriptures and modern studies both agree that one of the greatest commodities you and I would ever have in our lifetime or not have our friendships they are commodities that God has blessed you with that are only here while we are here like time is a commodity and money is a commodity one of the greatest commodities you ever have in your lifetime listen to me are your friendships the great Roman philosopher Cicero he said something very interesting I want to put it up on the screen for you Cicero said this she said friendships is the only thing in the world concerning the usefulness of which all mankind are agreed now apart from the holy spirit Cicero made this comment friendship is the only thing in the world concerning the usefulness of which all mankind agreed in other words what Cicero was saying with the statement is that you'll probably be hard-pressed to go anywhere in the world in any culture any ethnicity in any faith in any foundation of belief and find people who cannot at least see the value in or even desire to have good friendships in their lives okay real friends are an immense value and vitality to our lives and sometimes if we keep it honest we find more value and vitality and strength in our friendships than even our family members for some of us have found more strength and friends than we do family members some of us right now have leaned more on friends than we have family members because you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends you can't choose your mother or father but you can choose your friends you can't choose your cousins but you can choose your friends and some of us if you look over your shoulder you've come much further because of your friends then because of your family members some of us will be honest we have been disappointed let down betrayed and abandoned by our family and have found solace in our friendships for some of us we have not even realized this one thing we take for granted has been one of the greatest sources of strength in our entire lives study shows that we're more apt to be healthy in our soul and body and experience more progress and success in life to the degree we have good friendships studies show where you have good friendships you're more apt to be healthy in your soul you're more apt to be healthy in your emotions in your mind in your physical body and studies show where you have good friendships you're more apt to progress or to thrive or to go further in life because friendships satisfy a basic human need that God has hardwired into the soul of every single person the need for shared interest and mutual respect and mutual care there's a positive impact that friendships have on our life that cannot be overstated in words and the issues are that friendships if we will be honest they take time and effort to build they're like houses they take brick and mortar and sheetrocking and you know I find it so tragic how hard friendships are to build and how easily and frivolously we just throw them away like they don't matter and you better be careful about the people you throw away and discard because sometimes the person you throw away in this season is the bridge God wanted you to walk over and another season that's why you better learn to value the men and women that God has placed in your life and not treat them as common or ordinary because it be the very bridge you burned today you realize that was the bridge I was supposed to work walk over in another season and I want to tell some people who you're always praying and asking God to bless me and enlarge me and blessing and blessing let me tell you something I learned about God God oftentimes will send your biggest blessings in seed form he oftentimes does not give you a tree he'll give you a seed and see how can you manage that seed that some of your greatest blessings were coming the seeds of a relationship or friendship that you are responsible for properly stewarding and it is through that friendship God would walk right into your life some of the greatest blessings you were ever have locked up and of your friends are your next blessings locked up and some friendships are your next opportunities locked up in friendships are some of your best doors some of us are better today than we are yesterday because of our friendships that's why we need to be wise to value them and not be immature to treat them like they don't matter if you listen and say Amen friendships are also hard to come by it's hard to find a true friend can anybody testify of that like listen somebody wave your hand if you could testify listen it's hard to find a true friend I know we got pseudo friends and we got acquaintances and we got ray-ray and Pookie but it's hard to find a true friend it's hard to find a true friend they don't come a dime a dozen they're like diamonds in the rough they are very valuable they're very hard to find and for some of us we don't have friends because a hurt causes us to keep people at bay I know what it is to keep people at bay some of you know what it is to keep people at bay and if we be honest some of us have been so hurt by people we just keep everybody at a distance we build high walls and low walls we're just afraid to get watch hurt again and so we have acquaintances but we don't let anybody get close enough to be true friends and another reason we have you know the issue with friendships is not only that it takes time to build or they're hard to come by or hurt makes us push it away but if we be honest man the increase in mobility of our society makes it very difficult to establish real friendships I mean our society right now is more mobile than has ever been before and because of the increase of mobility it's hard to build lasting friendships like the average person might be at a job for a certain period of time or maybe in a city for a certain period of time or because of social media and the movement of social media and the proliferation of social media is so hard to build real friendships and you know what side though let me put this in here like social media is a great tool I love it we use a hard core at our church we have people on staff to do social media it's a great tool to proliferate the gospel it is a blessing to mankind but studies also show and I've been saying this to my wife for years and we're gonna look back on our generation and realize the damage that social media has done to us socially when it comes to the nature of our friends because of social media you know what a lot of our friendships look like man is this wide and is this deep it is wide in numbers I mean you got 10,000 followers than you 2g right and you got like a million followers and you know G but your relationships is like this shallow they're shallow as three inches on the other side of the pool and my door could get in that drought and so we have a lot of wit but we don't have a lot of depth right and then we thing because we have people that call ourselves friends on Facebook we think that that is the new definition of friends and so we take that so serious when somebody sends me a request now I got friends and god forbid they unfollow me I get hurt like how come they stop following me you didn't know them anyway but we get offended you know why because we have redefined relationships and friendships in the context of a like and follow and unlike they so shallow now that we get offended when people stop following us or unfriend us who we didn't even know because we we use social media to find affirmation that's supposed to be found in people so we have cyber friends but not real friends and we use those platforms to find out that you know how this go down like like we'd be on up we'd be on some on some on some nonsense right argue enough for us and we got some point we want to prove we put it on social media we get 18 people to agree with us and we think we right we got 18 people that agree with you who don't know you they don't know your heart they don't know you foul they don't know you was wrong in that moment when you said that cannot just because twenty-five people agree with your stupid pulse that don't mean you right and so we use social media to affirm us in areas that's supposed to happen in the context of human beings because a real friend would tell you now you're stop stink you are wrong you smell foul well social media you can't smell me you just think you know me so as a result over that many people have very few friends I mean studies show the average person right now if I said how many close friends you have the average person has two close friends that's what studies show that if you took a poll right now if you say oh yeah I'm talking about tight rather than intimate the average person has no more than two of them if I actually named them right now you probably even kind of run off a list of more than five some of us are surrounded not only by just a few good friends some of us are surrounded by toxic friends surface friends and if we be honest some of us we don't even have a real good friend in our life at all we we know what it is to be lonely our dog a bottle of wine or social media has become our closest friend our friends can greatly impact the landscape of your future there's often said you show me your closest 5 friends and I'll show you where you will be in five years from now because your closest friends have a great impact on your future and who you will be five years from now it is often said you will be the same person you are right now five years from now except for the experiences you have the things that you read and the company that you keep let me say that again it is often said that you will be the exact same person you are right now except for the experiences you have things that you read and the company that you keep so our friends have a great bearing on where we will be in the future and if we be honest a lot of us are the sum total of the people we've been running with for the last five years but how are you the same person at forty four you was when you was in high school because you have not learned who are seasonal friends are some of us have not moved forward because we refuse to make adjustments in our life like if you fit the eight and still clubbing with the dudes you was in high school with something is wrong if you fit the 8 with the do-rag going in the hat to the back and still clubbing but do you remember in high school and you have no job and you living off your girlfriend something is wrong you need to evaluate your circle something is wrong so our closest friends will have a great impact on who we will be in the future now listen to me God created us as social beings to have friendships and relationships God did not create you to be isolated by yourself it did not create you to be on an island alone and nobody will make it to the finish line alone every single person in this room it will take people friendships and relationships to get you to the point where God wants you to be you cannot be an island unto yourself and accomplish the will of God for your life that is impossible and if you have a vision in this room that you can accomplish without anyone else that vision did not come from God God will never put you God will never give you a purpose or calling a destiny a future that does not involve other people because no one is an island unto himself not even God was ever alone Genesis 1:26 let us make man in our image and in our likeness there was plural language there because not even God was alone when he created Adam he said it's not good for him to be alone that we never even known that God had to be alone God himself was never alone it is not good for us to be alone it's not good for us to be isolated it is not good for us to not have anyone in our life where we can lean on it is dangerous to be isolated it is dangerous to be by yourself because when we are completely isolated the devil would back us into a corner and make our brain a chop shop to wear us down it is satanic to be completely isolated from everybody permanently that's not the will of God this is why our society has figured out punitive Lee if you want to really hurt a prisoner disconnect him from his friends disconnect him from relationships and lock him in a hole alone you give him twenty days in there it'll rearrange his mind you give him a year in there it may damage him permanently a young man from New York who I won't name you give him three years and there he will commit suicide we were not meant to do life alone the scriptures are very clear God desires us to have good meaningful friendships true friendships provide a depth of nourishment for the Soul not found in common acquaintances true friendships create an opportunity for us to do life with other people and they are the foundation of the joys of creating memories and having good laughter and creating moments and walking through tough things together two cautions about life and relationships proverbs 18:1 the wisest man who ever lived wrote this Solomon wrote whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire he breaks out against all judgment and so Solomon said whoever isolates himself from people he seeks his own path and as a path that would lead to his own demise he rails against all sound judgment that is not good for you to be completely isolated so there was a caution in the scriptures against isolation and another caution in the scriptures comes from same man Solomon problems 1824 a man of many companions oh this is so good a man of many companions may come to ruin but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother Solomon wrote a man of mint this is good a man of many companions come may come to ruin but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother so I know your Instagram is blowing up I know your Facebook is blowing up I know you got a massive amount of friends but you better be careful about trying to find intimacy in large numbers you don't have the capacity or the bandwidth to have an intimate relationship with 54 people Jesus had an intimate relationship with 3 out of 12 out of 70 out of 500 you don't have the mental capacity you will stretch yourself too thin trying to have an intimate relationship with 58 people you don't have the bandwidth for that and so there was a caution about trying to have intimacy with large groups of people I don't care that you let your gang is like I don't care if you 40 deep right when it comes to the economy of friendships the economy of friendship is rooted and quality above quantity like man you can have 25 friends and be lonely and miserable I could have one right or die and be stronger than people with a gang and an army behind them because it's not about quantity it's about quality and this passage also teaches us that you have to be watch this word selective about your friends but like I said you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends the friends you have or the ones you chose and if they chose you you kept them so you have to be selective about your friends why because your friends will have a great impact on who you are and they will have a great impact on your future I'm telling you right now this is a very very serious matter very serious matter so the scripture says Solomon says watch there is a friend you know what that's well you got to find one by the grace of God it may bump into you there is a friend Erik that sticks closer than a brother if I'm reading this my next question is what does that friend look like if there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother it is a friend that could be tighter than family what does that friend looks like I want to I want to kind of land a plane on this message by Josh am with you listen seven powerful words singular words I want to share with you seven powerful words that I believe from just reading the scriptures and my own personal life experience now this is not exhaustive there could be more than this but I'm going to just narrow down to seven because I like the number seven I was born on a seven and it's just a number of perfection so I'm gonna just lock it down at seven not eight not six six I don't like the number six I like the number seven so I just want to share with you listen to me seven powerful words singular words that I think are the distinctive marks of a true friend for those of you who had a DD h DD b DD f DD a DD l dee da dee dee whatever dee dee I made them all cease to help you remember them I mean I'm all cease to help you remember them and these seas are gonna connect to something I'm going to share with you next week so if I narrowed it down to what I think seven powerful words are the makeup of true friends not not surfers friends not my gang of friends not pseudo friends not Facebook but my two old friends the ones I could really depend on seven powerful words I think define them the first word is character dangerous is a relationship with a person with poor character and what character buys you is the equity of trusts where there is great character you will earn the equity of trust because where there is great character there is consistency that earns you the equity of trust Trust is the foundation of any real relationship and if I can't trust you I may know you but you can't be my close friend I may shake your hand but you can't be my close friend I'm a smile at you but you can't be my close friend you may know me but you can't be down with me if I can't trust you if you cannot be trusted you cannot be a close friend and if you don't have good character you cannot be trusted if you say one thing in public and live another way in private you cannot be trusted if you are duplicitous you cannot be trusted if you love me in public and destroy me in private you cannot be trusted and so if you have poor character if you are shifty if you are flighty if you are undependable if you are unreliable if you tell me you're gonna come through and I never see you after that you can't be my intimate friend your poor character just teaches me later for you in this intimate circle I'm gonna push you from my three to my nine and if your character's rude that bad I'm gonna push you from my nine to the seventy I might push you from the ceremony all right to the 500 I see you and app you up but you can't be intimate with me I can't trust my heart to someone with poor character because character earns you the equity of trust in a relationship and when there is poor character and bankrupt a relationship of the equity of trust a good example of this is in First Samuel chapter 18 not gonna read it with two men called David and Jonathan David the great king of Israel Jonathan the son of Saul Saul was a king that try to persecute a man named David he found solace and saw son named Jonathan they have a covenant with one another Jonathan was a man of character David was a man of character they had a dynamic friendship the scripture says they loved one another almost to the point of more than women they loved one another deeply they had a relationship that carried him all the way to death for one of them character can't trust anyone with poor character in fact Paul wrote to the church at Corinth this is crazy first Corinthians 15 13 do not be misled bad company will corrupt good character and so if I even have character and I surround myself with people with poor character man they're gonna erode the equity of what is good on the inside of me so you got to be able to guard that and you got to be wise enough to know listen this person I've been running with I thought we was tight but I start seeing some ways in you that are questionable now I have to make a decision I'm either going to compromise what is in me for the sake of knowing you I'm gonna protect what's in me for the sake of not knowing you and then I gotta make a decision is what's in me worth sacrificing for the sake of trying to keep a friend with poor character how many of us have kept friends with Paul character already to look back on day all the trouble I've ever been in I got in trouble with you man you got bagged and you gave my name to the police officers true story Philip Anthony Mitchell you did again prison and you gave my name to the judge true story Philip Anthony Mitchell I bought a brand-new bike you climbed over the fences stolen out my backyard while my mother was in the kitchen cooking true story Philip Anthony Mitchell you stole a chain off my neck now--so and ran the streets with you true story Philip Anthony Mitchell character we almost never get in trouble alone true friends will have good character number two the word is counsel counsel a true friend has prudence to offer counsel and guidance if you have a true friend and you find yourself in a jam they should be a fountain of guidance for you where you have true friends they have the watch prudence the word prudence means ability to have good judgment because if I'm in trouble and all you have is nonsense to tell me you can't help me if both of us are mess how we gonna get out you know the true friend is jordyn when I'm a mess you have counsel for me and when you're a mess I got counsel for you and we have this beautiful dance in which we keep pulling each other out of jams with the beauty of the counsel that we give one another guidance comes from close friends right I think about people like for example I think about people like Raya Boehm the Sun right Raya Boehm a son of a king who he came into office as a king and had a group of friends around him and when he came into office he said now I'm the king the people of Israel they're crying out for me to lift their heavy burdens cuz they've been under great burdens by my father Solomon right and so he went to his friends and said if people are crying out for a reprieve he goes to his friends and he says man should I give them a reprieve and his friend said nah don't give them a reprieve man make their burdens even heavier he ran with them his whole life he went to the elders who said listen listen to the people give them a reprieve you have favor with them if you help them he makes a decision between the elders and the boys he'd been running in his whole life but because of his relationships that he could not separate guidance from he took the wisdom of his home boys he increased the burden of the people that history tells us the people rebelled against Rayo born and split the Kingdom of Jerusalem into from there we had the Kingdom of Israel in the north and the kingdom of Judah in the south they will permanently wiped off the map after several hundred years the advice or the bad advice of a friend can rearrange and the whole direction of your life one piece of bad advice to completely shipwreck your life that's why you need to guard your is and everybody should not have access to your soul through your ears I think I need to say that again everyone should not have access to your soul through your ears and let me tell you another thing too if you surround yourself with yes men and yes women if every time you run to them they only tell you what you want to hear how is that good counsel so true friends will give you good counsel look at what some proverbs 27 9 perfume and incense bring joy to the heart I got some Sean John on right now it brings joy to Lina's heart once that stuff I bought you would that look like a shoe that Carolina Herrera that good girl when she put that on it bring joy to my heart here I can smell you from right here okay all right so perfume and Lena stop that perfume and ink perfume and incense brings joy to the heart watch and the pleasantness of one's friend Springs from his earnest counsel but there was a joy that comes to your heart when you found good counsel and a true friend next word comfort if I can't find comfort in you and my times of trouble then you may not be a true friend because when you have a true friend you will be able to find comfort from them in times of trouble and this is very important because the life will deal everyone some sour apples from season a season a time the time and when you go through hardships you've got to have shoulders to lean on sometimes a friend will comfort you more than your prayer time did he just say that yeah have you not gone through and did not know what to pray and what did you do you called y'all looking at me like I'm a blasphemer have you not been through stuff and did not know what to pray you've been through something didn't even call on the Lord you've been doing stuff and called a friend before you call the Lord because you didn't even know what to pray you were so broken and so hurt you could not muster up a prayer and in your tears and your brokenness you picked up the phone you text a call a friend then we'll go through they own hurt I've been like this I'm hurting I'm crying you call me while I'm crying I hear you crying I wipe my tears I'm I I said boy come I do what's going on right you telling me your problems you don't even know I'm going through I'm getting my stuff together and while you crying I'm praying on this I God give me wisdom for them and I'll stop brother saying to you and their Holy Ghost I start declaring the word of the Lord I start speaking the word to you I start telling you're gonna come through this I start telling you're gonna make it I'm started telling you you're gonna come through I'm start telling you all things are gonna work out for your good I'm encouraging you why that is my eyes man you hop off that phone call edified and comfort it because all of us go through hardship and trials all of us get knocked down and if you never get not not if you've never been knocked down you just keep living I promise you life will knock you down and life or knock you down so bad you can't even call on the Lord you'll be so broken and you turn and God help you you turn and there's nobody there to answer that call Solomon in the end of his life he wrote this in a click and just helping anybody he wrote this in Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verse 9 through 10 this is so powerful oh my god oh my god Thank You Holy Spirit he said two are better than one can't do life alone watch what he says next so powerful - or better than one because they have a good return for their work watch this next verse if one falls down his friend can't help him up but pity the man who falls to help now fall down I need somebody to help me up with words help me up with prayer help me up with encouragement how about help me up with presence sometimes you'll be going through and and you don't even need to tell me how to fix it you just need to come to my house you just need to walk into the hospital room and you just need to hold my hand and not say nothing but just you're helping me up with your presence you can help me up with your prayers my dude I know you're in Tampa Ronald J Simmons but I'm gonna pray for you my brother hold you down I'm devoting my next hour prayer to you and you only so we help each other up when we fall down we all get knocked down and we need people to help us up when we getting out god help us when we get knocked down on the floor and we don't have nobody to call real friends will comfort you before almost finished this one is big and for some of you may be a curse word real friends number four this C defines real friends this I notice something even going like this but it's the truth I know you're gonna like this you gonna feel some kind of way when I say this before its candor cuz I know you like being told you're awesome all the time and I know you like yes people and I know you don't like nobody to confront you or tell you that you're wrong I know you don't but real friends will not let you drive down a road where the bridge is out and be afraid to hurt your feelings so they let you drive off a cliff listen I'm tell you right now listen if you're watching this message all my pastors who I'm here please don't let me drive off a cliff and you see me going to listen I would rather you hurt my feelings what I would rather you hurt my feelings that let me destroy my marriage or drive off a cliff or lose a job or destroy opportunity you mean to tell me if you're my real friend you will let me destroy my life before you hurt my feelings so you would rather sacrifice my feelings and let me destroy my life I can't count you anymore a true friend a true friend will hurt your feelings to save your life a true friend will see the future of a bad decision and will hurt your feelings before you make that they'll look in your eyes and say listen that is a bad decision oh you know what she is a bad girlfriend uh-uh that dude right there I know he killed he tall dark and handsome but that's not the one God has for you boo but I've been praying for him for like eight years that's not the one God has for you boy [Applause] yeah just take the fall and let it go a trooper is not gonna do dance into a bad relationship or dance into a bad business deal some of us men we saw we saw soft and so petty we afraid to hurt people's feelings so we'll rather them destroy their lives in public and then try to console them in private when we had an opportunity to tell them don't go down that road let me tell you right now if you got real friends you should invite them to hurt your feelings especially if you know you either don't have wisdom in that area or they have more experience in that area or they see you going down a bad road man if my children are 15 and your children are three asks me for my advice if I've worked in this job and you're coming into this job asked me for my advice if I'm about to date somebody and you and and and and I'm bringing them around man ask me my advice you try to live life trying to block the wisdom of friends for the sake of saving your heart from being hurt or offended so your feelings being offended is more important your life being ruined no I'm mature person will say hurt me to save me don't protect me to destroy me a mature person will say hurt me to save me don't protect me to destroy me tweet dad give me credit at Philip Anthony Mitchell hurt me to save me but don't protect me to destroy me hurt me to protect me no see y'all got me Oh miss I said hurt me to save me but don't protect me to destroy me yeah that's what I said hurt me to save me but don't protect me to destroy me tell me my stuff stick oh you can't find that in the scriptures proverbs 27 5 6 betta is open rebuke then hidden love wounds from a friend can be watched trusted but an enemy a pseudo friend named multiplied kisses they only make you feel good all the time they never hurt your feelings with the truth so if you always kissing me but you never confront me I have to question the nature of our intimacy it's better to review be rebuked and say it's no good to say I love you and you afraid to rebuke me almost done number five cultivating this one is is profound to me and and I it's funny because the person you're gonna hand when I'm done like she embodies all of this and has been a real friend to my wife and I for over a decade I see all of this in her life she's been all of this to Lena and I we've been all of this to her cultivating a friend should aid you in your personal growth in progress like if I have real friends they should make me better not turn me down when you have real friends they make you better they challenge you like listen your prayer life got to come up or we gonna spend some time at God's Word or listen we're gonna have better character or you're gonna stop doing this all the time like when you have real friends over a period of time they should make you better you should challenge you to make you better they should help you grow proverbs 13:20 says he who walks with the wise watches next word grows wise but a companion of fools suffers harm you can keep them if you want now only gonna bring you damage sometimes you got to know when it's time to change seasons change people if you have real friends y'all should be growing together you should be getting better together you should be holding each other accountable and developing together number six a true friend is a confidant this one is important to me cuz I've found it in the voice that's coming up behind me a confidence is watch this watch this word everybody watch I know you're writing but watch watch a confidante is a safe place and in this world I'm sorry this world is so dark and so busy and it's so much happening that listen every human being needs a safe place a confidant of someone you can be honest with transparent with washes word because I know this is a curse word for some of you you can be vulnerable with them you can be authentic with them you can be transparent with them if I'm afraid to be me around you then we have an acquaintance but we don't have an intimate relationship like if I'm afraid to be me in front of you then we have an acquaintance but we don't have an intimate because when you have an intimate relationship you could ask a confident you can you can tell them stuff you're going through I hope they won't they won't it won't leak out of them in another season like it's a safe place for you to in fact James will change the brother of Jesus wrote confess your sins one to another and pray for one another that you might find healing that healing comes after confession and prayer some of us we don't have healing because we're holding things we're afraid to tell anybody what we're going through listen some sometimes the best thing you could do for healing is just get it out of your mouth and into the heart of someone you can trust who can handle your humanity and information you just gave them because everybody can't handle your humanity everybody can't see you at your lowest point you have to have confidence we can see you at your lowest point proverbs 17:9 he who covers over an offense promotes love but whoever repeats the matter you separate close friends so if you're confident man you're not airing my laundry you're not reminding me of all my wrongs you're not telling everybody what I did man you cover my offenses like you are a covering for me and you will never imagine how liberating that is to have at least one person that you can dump in their heart and they can dump in yours and I can keep that bottled up together just you that person and the Lord is a beautiful dance of healing there are some people who commit suicide millionaires who commit suicide wealthy people commit suicide all type of people kill themselves we find them in bad situations because they were going through someone something I had no one to talk to money does not buy your confidence equity and time will buy you confidence and this last one this last see is the word constant a true friend demonstrates unwavering commitment they are not flighty and unpredictable their love is unconditional unmovable they are a constant of rock in your life you're not wondering are they going to be there tomorrow proverbs 17:17 born for adversity a true friend will go through hardship with you and come out with you on the other side a true friend will love you in spite of you a true friend will love you even when you stink and even when you smell good a true friend loves you at all times and they were given to you as a gift by God for hardships yeah true friendships are worth developing listen to me carefully God blesses us in many ways through our friendships you would never imagine what God has locked up in your future through the friends that you have right now true friendships they're worth investing in celebrating honoring I see one of my true friends in the back back there with a beard and a ball head jamayne white one of my closest friends over here to my right about to bring her up here to say something to you in a second and you cannot underestimate the value and the power of a true friend true friendships are worth fighting for even when all hell breaks out and we cussing each other out and throwing ninja stars and try to jump kick each other in the throat I look to people in the eyes two weeks ago and I said to them are you telling me this argument that you had is greater than the track record of your relationship surely y'all can come through this because you know what's one of the real test of true friendships time distance and conflict if it can't survive that it's an acquaintance but not a true friend true friendships can survive time like I seen you in eight months and it's like we never missed a beat I ain't seen you in three years and it's like we never missed a beat I seen you in a daze like we know survived time they could survive distance one of my closest friends my best friend lives in Florida they could survive conflict disagreements so like TLC said and that's old-school you gotta bring your 30s to know about that what about your friends are they gonna stand their ground are they gonna be around right they're 22 year olds like TLC pick old-school like old-school like left I what about your friends are they gonna stand their ground are they gonna be around man I like Jay and Bey new song man you read the lyrics they understand what real friendship is certainly the people of God got to get this right what about your friends do you have real friends how do your friends quote unquote line up or how do they fare against this list of these seven C's do you have some reevaluating to do can they pass this metric how many people you have in your life right now can get past this seven step metric how many of them what about your friends do you have them I know true friends are becoming increasingly aware if you have one your best if you can count them on one hand you're blessed if you just got one good light or die you're blessed if our friends bear no semblance at all to what I just shared with you and if some of us are struggling with loneliness we don't have real friends what do we do with the friends that are questionable and what do we do with the hearts that are lonely if I have a lonely heart I don't have true friends and if i realize i have questionable friends what do I do with my questionable friends and what do I do with my lonely heart I'm gonna answer those two questions for you next week and the last message in this series call friends we really hope this message was a blessing for you and if you have a testimony send it to share at victory Church a tlw again thank you for tuning in and we look forward to seeing you next week [Music]

Channel: Victory Church

Views: 1,259

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Id: dttvQj_c32E

Length: 56min 49sec (3409 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 16 2018