Emotional Health | Philip Anthony Mitchell

hi and welcome to the victory Church podcast this ministry has been a blessing for you please consider supporting the spread of the gospel by visiting us online and choosing the given option that works best for you and you have a testimony we'd love to hear it send us an email to share at victory Church ATL that boy again thank you for tuning in and we hope you enjoyed this message [Music] awesome man if you are watching me right now on youtube or you're watching on podcasts or you're listening to this message wherever you are right now I want to welcome our online audience and want to welcome all of you to week 2 of our series called what the health I want to use this series and what what I'm really doing in this series I'm using this series to bring awareness to three areas in your life that I'm arguing based on the scriptures that we need to pay attention to and we need to develop health in these particular areas and I'm talking to you about mental health emotional health and physical health last week we began this series talking about mental health one of the things I said to you is that there's no way in the time it takes to preach a sermon or to go through a series that we can solve all the challenges as relates to health in these three particular areas my goal is not to solve all your problems with three sermons my goal is to invite you on a journey towards health in these particular areas I did share with you last week that it was some time ago yes that God began to really deal with me about my own health and for some time I've been on a journey towards health in these three particular areas and have seen the fruit of going on this journey in my personal life and so my goal with these three messages I want you understand I want to say this again as a disclaimer if you feel like some of the teaching may leave you hanging or I don't cover everything as relates to mental emotional physical health I can't possibly cover everything in three messages my goal is not to try to fix your problems in those areas with a single sermon my goal is to invite you on a journey that you would you would be aware of unhealthiness in these three areas and that you would make a personal decision to say you know what enough is enough I'm gonna take the first steps on a journey that can last months that can last years that can be a lifetime for some people I want to take the journey towards mental health we began this series looking at a text that John wrote to a man named Gaius in which he was praying for Gaius to have health in his physical body and in his soul I told you last week that the word soul means sookay when we get the word psychology from and scripturally it is the seat of our mind and our emotions and so we know from that text in the New Testament that john the apostle of jesus was praying for a man to have a healthy body to have a healthy mind and to have a healthy emotions so last week we talked about spiritual health I talked about mental health we looked at spiritual pathways to mental health and we looked at natural pathways to mental health and today I want to talk to you about emotional health okay I want to talk to you about emotional health now this message was very difficult for me to put together in fact I've reached out to elder Milton I reached out to him and and I had reached out to out my prayer leader and I had asked them to just keep me in prayer but I was just feeling a real heaviness in my heart when I was preparing this sermon and I was feeling really heavy when I was preparing a sermon this one was was very difficult for me to prepare because of just things in my heart that just frustrated me with just a local church in a modern culture I personally and I don't know who else will agree with me what I'm about to say but I personally find it very frustrating and I think that it is a tragedy that the place that Jesus intended for us to have transparency that leads to healing is the very place that has morphed into a place of cover-up that it makes me angry it makes me frustrated to the point of Tears that there are so many people who are followers of Jesus whether sitting in this room watching me right now on YouTube or podcast listening where you are who are battling so much things in our emotions and are so broken in our emotions and I'm so hurt in our emotions and so led astray by emotions and we go in and out of churches and can't find help because we're so afraid to confess we're so afraid to talk about it that there is this cultural pressure to be externally strong while so many of us if we be honest are dying on the inside and that bothers me it bothers me that there is a cultural narrative that does not allow believers to hurt does not allow believers to confess it does not allow us to be weak and does not allow leaders to be weak or to confess or to be broken there is a cultural narrative that says we must be on at all times we must be strong in all times and something is wrong with us if we're broken something is wrong with us if we're hurting something is wrong with us if we're having issues and our emotions and so let me keep coming to church while my marriage is being disintegrated and not say anything let me keep coming to church while I'm drowning in sin and not say anything let me keep coming to church while I'm battling iniquity and not say anything let me keep coming to church while I'm contemplating suicide and not say anything because people expect me to be strong and not have a problem where did we get that from we didn't get that from the Scriptures not when we have men like Paul that says he boasts in his affirmative and his weaknesses that when he writes things like in Romans chapter 7 the things I don't want to do I do and what I should be doing I don't do and who's gonna rescue me from this body of death thanks be to God through Jesus Christ now I feel so upset that we have this valia on our culture that says it's not okay to not be okay if any place we should feel comfortable not being okay it should be in the family of believers we should say it's okay to not be okay it should be okay for us to have problems and find help but only in the church behind our suits Johannes go down and behind the makeup and become the hairstyles and behind the titles and all of that man we'd be preaching and broken singing and broken fighting with our husband and wife the whole way to church and don't let anybody know that we're going through and then and then we look up some months from now somebody life implodes and we wonder why like you was going through this all the time and no one knew and the result is a growing number of silent sufferers who's either imprisoned by their feelings or in prison by culture let me tell you why I take this very seriously okay my wife and I when we was in Bible College had a very close friend and this sister a white system we really loved we developed a very close relationship with this sister spend time with her eight with her spend time in our home with her she was dating one of my closest friends at that time in college and she would she was one of these people like really smiley face on the outside but then she starts showing signs that something was wrong on the inside right we would bump into her and things would come out that would lead us to believe that maybe something was not going on that was something was not right inside her heart right I noticed how she started looking for her boyfriend to fill the role of what her father was supposed to do so she tried to make her boyfriend her father and where her father failed her and what he was supposed to give her an affirmation and love and acceptance and all those things she tried to find that on her boyfriend and when he couldn't live up to that their relationship ended and then she was just broken she would start saying things like I'm tired of life and I'm frustrated and she would start expressing all these things but no one would ever take her seriously she started talking about like no my problems are too heavy from me and I don't know how long I want to be here and she was thought because she was smileyface you know everybody just blew that off like nobody took that serious much even my wife and I didn't take that serious we just said you know what she's always crying wolf the semester after we graduated from school my wife and I got a phone call remember this that this sister was found in a car in front of troga in the parking lot with a bottle of pills on the floor some alcohol in the car she was unresponsive she had taken her life she committed suicide nobody took us serious and now I never forgot that because she was having trauma in her heart but masking that under the pressure of church culture that everybody expected her to be well and to just serve and keep doing what you're doing and there was no space for her to really vent what was going on in her heart she's gone now because of that you know as I thought about her story I thought about the sermon it really caused me to revisit my own emotional trauma being formally suicidal twice dealing with my emotional trauma as a leader I even thought about how you know for a lot of people pastoral ministry is really a crown is not really a crown for me it's more of cross I thought about how leading a church magnified my insecurities it made me it made me more insecure it made me deal with more emotional trauma and some of that was brought on by just the way society is built out I mean you can have emotional trauma just thumbing through Instagram I considered really the extensive damage and the brokenness of people I know personally and even people in this room that even right now as I'm talking man there are people in this room man who are really suffering in the dark I know you walk there are people in this room who are silent sufferance I know you are there are people in this room who come to church every week but on the inside you are suffering in your heart you are damaged and you are broken in your heart there are there are people in this room right now who I know not personally but it could just feel in the spirit as I was preparing for this message you are emotionally weary and drained there are people who are dealing with just the heaviness of heart from reoccurring emotional issues they're people right now who I know are frustrated with with chronic heaviness of heart people whose heart it's just always heaven you don't know why just just chronic heaviness there people right now I know who I just own a roller coaster of emotions on Monday you feel joy on Tuesday you're down on Wednesday you're halfway up on Thursday it down anybody know what I'm talking about yeah that's in theirs they're people right now who I know are nursing wounds from scars that people have inflicted on you in your past and in your heart and I know that there are people in this room who are even numb you don't feel anything at all you don't feel praise you don't feel worship you don't feel God's presence you don't feel compassion mercy you don't feel anything and really young numbness is just a coping mechanism because you really don't want to deal with the broke that's in your heart and so you built a wall to keep people out to keep God out to keep counsel out to keep anything out that would touch that part of your heart that you try to block because of the pain that you have been through all of that stuff is in this room and so much more listen the reality is that all of us have to deal with our emotions all of us have to deal with our emotions and since we can never really flee our feelings we must give attention to our emotional health okay since you can never flee your feelings we have to give attention to our motional health because no matter where you go you know who you take with you you and no matter what you do you know who what you take with you your feelings and your emotions you can't turn them off you can't try to ignore them by they're there and no matter what you do you and I have to deal with our emotions we have to deal with how we feel we have to deal with the trauma and the stuff that's going on in our heart and since we have to keep dealing with emotions since it's not going anywhere I'm encouraging you and inviting you and pleading with you to join me on a journey of emotional health because a lot of us in this room are not emotionally healthy a lot of us this room are probably emotionally toxic so let me give you a working definition of emotional health so we can start from there and move forward in this message emotional health refers to one's emotional well-being enough I want to just teach I want to take you to school this morning refers to emotional well-being and determines one's ability to control their emotions and behavior and build lasting relationships and show resilience in times of trouble so we know that someone is emotionally healthy to agree that they have emotional well-being okay they not how to control their emotions they know how to control their behavior they know how to build lasting relationships and they can show resilience in times of trouble emotional unhealthiness would be any destabilization or any instability that negatively affects our wellness our behavior so let me give you some just common signs that we might be dealing with emotional unhealthiness and they're not gonna come up on the screen because I don't want you to stare at them I just want to mention them okay these are not all the signs but I do want to say that these are some common signs if you see yourself in any one of these when I say them then it's assigned to us that we might be dealing with some emotional unhealthiness somewhere in our soul one common sign of emotional healthiness is when we have an unrelenting heaviness of heart that no matter what we do no matter what happens we're always down we're always depressed we're always Moody it doesn't matter what's going on around us it doesn't matter what joy is happening we could have come out of an explosive worship service but our heart is always heavy all the time another another common sign that we're dealing with emotional health issues is our inability to control our moods so if you're a person you have violent mood swings all the time if there's always swings like a pendulum back and forth then that might be a sign that you might be dealing with some emotional issues another sign that we're dealing with emotional issues if we battle a lot of envy and jealousy it's our inability to admire without desire right it's when we see something that someone else has gone and we wanted so bad but we don't have it we feel bad about ourselves that we don't have it and so we push that person out or we gonna unfollow them or we don't want to hear or see what they have to say because this listen they're there things make us feel covetous that we want what they have so if we're always battling with jealousy we're always battling with envy that's a sign towards that we might be dealing with some emotional challenges another one is if the success of other people makes us feel small about ourselves that's a sign that we're dealing with some emotional issues if the success of others sinks me emotionally if I get mad at other people because they're flourishing and I'm not that's a sign that I might be dealing with some emotional issues another one might be if we're plagued by feelings of rejection and always seeking approval people I confess some of this to you last week that that had plagued me for many years in my life if I'm always feeling like I need someone to tell me about my need someone to affirm me I need someone to tell me they'll if I'm always looking for the approval of people that's a sign that something might be broken in my heart another one if I'm plagued by self-loathing or self-pity that if for some reason I constantly have something negative to say about myself if I don't like myself or if I'm constantly dealing with self-pity if I walk around with the attitude that's always saying woe is me and what's wrong with me and I'm always I'm always condemning me and that's a sign that something is broken in my heart because pity is really the perversion of compassion it is the emotion that was designed to go out but not to go in and so if I'm a person that I always wanna live and self-pity that's a sign that I'm battling with emotional health issues another sign is if I harbor bitterness and unforgiveness towards other people if you have difficulty letting people go if you make your how your heart a house and you lock people up in your heart if you hold grudges for a long periods of time that's a sign to you and a sign to me that we might be dealing with emotional challenges another one this one is big if we're constantly projecting on other people issues that we have in our own heart so for example right if I didn't if I had needs that were unmet growing up I try to project those needs on someone else to fill in my life and when they can't fulfill those needs it creates a disappointment so I'm constantly mad at boyfriend I'm constantly mad at girlfriend I'm constantly mad at husband I'm constantly mad on wife because I'm projecting on other people needs that were unmet on my life and some of those needs only God can fulfill another one would be if you're impulsive and if you're rash and if you flying off the cusp easy if you're always going left and right with your decision-making and you never slow down to think about what you're doing if I'm really impulsive that's a sign that something might be broken in my heart another one listen if you have trouble sleeping and you have trouble getting rest if you have a difficult time sleeping and getting rest that's assigned to that something is not something maybe broken in your heart and your emotions if they keep you up at night they wake you up in the morning you can't sleep you can't rest you're tossing and turning those are signs that something might be going on in your heart another one if you deal with in falsehood that if you have difficulty telling the truth that is a guaranteed sign that you have emotional health problems if truth evades your mouth if you easily bend the truth if you can lie and sleep if you can lie and sleep if you can embellish and sleep if you could bend truth and sleep if you can lie on taxes and lie on documents if you can deal falsely and deceive people if you can rearrange numbers and sleep and that doesn't bother you that is a sign that you have emotional health problems and if you have difficulty maintaining relationships if you're always lonely if you always lose in friends if you're on how many husbands or how many wives they're nice a sign that we have emotional problems and why is it important for us to pay attention listen to me and I I took my time to put together this sermon and I wrote these notes carefully why is it important for us to pay attention to our emotional health a couple things I do want to tell you and they will come up on the screen number one because our emotional health affects the quality of our interior lives this is very important I'm telling you I know what it feels like to live and be miserable all the time and at some point time to get tired of living and just being miserable okay and if we are emotionally unhealthy our interior lives are gonna be very dark and very dismal and we could be living and moving and and being and all the time that we are miserable in our hearts okay we will only be as strong as the health of our minds and our emotions okay another reason why it's important for us to pay attention to our emotional health because of the temptation to believe that everything we feel is true feelings do not authenticate truth and you have to be careful about believing everything you feel is true it is very dangerous to believe everything I feel as truth how many times have we acted on something we felt or said something out of something we felt only to find out that we was wrong and what we did all wrong and what we said because we often have a tendency to just believe if I'm feeling it it must be true and we have to be careful that we don't get tempted to believe that everything I feel is true another reason we have to pay attention to our emotional health because of this one is huge because of the danger of making permanent and irreversible decisions based all feelings there is extreme danger and unbridled passion that just because I'm feeling something I just make crazy decisions because of the things that's going on in my heart do you know how many of us have probably lost relationships because of unbridled passion lost opportunities because of unbridled passion closed doors on our face because of unbridled passion it is very dangerous to be led by our emotions and I think about how many decisions I have made it you have probably made that we look back on and we regret that we made those decisions because we followed some feeling all right nobody wants to be honest that's okay you don't have to be honest I know I'm not the only one that has regrets behind me because I made some decisions based on some feelings irreversible decisions things that happen in my life that I can't go back and change some relationships I probably will never get back some opportunities are permanently lost because something I did based on my feelings another reason we have to pay attention to our feelings is because of the psychological wear and tear of emotional volatility you will wear down your mind being up and down up and down up and down up and down up and down that takes a toll on your mind joy becomes elusive and you can never delight in anything because you mean you can be up at 4:00 in the afternoon and down by five o'clock another reason we need to pay attention to our emotional health is because of the impact emotional health has on relationships and there are many marriages in trouble because of someone battling emotional health issues there are many relationships in trouble because of people battling emotional health issues okay the a lot of us man we can't even have good friendships because of our emotional health issues is very very important another one is because of the correlation between fulfillment and misery man as I was studying I realized that most psychologists have come to agree in our days this is big that somebody's ability to succeed in life is more contingent upon the EQ than they IQ your EQ is your emotional intelligence your IQs your rational intelligence and studies are showing today that people will have the greatest success in dealing with life are people who are stronger and their EQ than their IQ man you can be highly intelligent and have 15 degrees and live a miserable life and there some people haven't left high school and a full of joy and accomplished and stuff in life not because that they are intelligent or they have a lot of Greece is because they know how to manage their emotions and then this next one is because of the threat of emotional instability to ruin a life I have a friend right now who's doing life in prison because of a moment of anger in which he emptied a clip a trigger on a 12 year old in the middle of the street in Queens New York just mad they got into a fight over a quarter they got into a fight over 25 cents in front of a store he pulls out a nine and empties a clip on a 12 year old and he's serving life right now in prison because one moment of unbridled passion can bring a lifetime of pain and as we consider health we have to be careful right we have to be careful to see these things from the right perspective there is a teaching out there that makes emotions evil right and there's a teaching out there that makes emotions bad but I want you to know that having emotions is not inherently evil listen God is an emotional being God has emotions God has anger God has wrath God has love God has sorrow God can be grieved God has emotions and God created you and I as emotional beings we see this in Psalms the Rite of Psalms displayed the full range of emotional issues whether they will up or down we see the full range of human emissions in the psalm imagine life with no emotions without the ability to love without the ability to have compassion without the ability to feel joy without the ability to have sorrow without the ability to be angry imagine life without any emotions the Bible doesn't say having emotions as evil in fact the scripture says be angry but don't send being angry is not a sin what you do with the anger the scripture says is the sin so the Bible doesn't condemn us having emotions the Bible does even condemn you being mad I will hope if somebody did something to your kid you would get angry I will hope if somebody transgressed your wife or your husband you would get angry I hope when you see what's happening with injustice you will get angry and so the bible does not condemn us having emotions the wrong approach is that we have extremes when it deals with our emotions and just like there were two extremes with mental issues there's also two extremes when it comes to emotional health as well wanna stream when it comes to emotional issues is the extreme that says right it says live by your feelings that is whatever you feel do whatever you feel whatever comes into your heart just do that and that is one extreme that says listen I'm gonna whatever I feel I'm gonna do it nobody can't tell me it's wrong you can't tell me not to do it and so if it comes into my heart I'm just gonna run with it man that is dangerous that is crazy and just imagine our society if everybody did everything that they felt if everybody did everything that they thought you know what we would have in our city and our key chaos lewdness I'm gonna take this from you because I feel like it I'm gonna do a hundred in a school zone because I feel like it I'm gonna just leave my wife because I feel like it I'm gonna do whatever I want because I feel like it if everybody did whatever they felt like we would have anarchy chaos and destruction the other extreme when it comes to emotions is listen is completely ignore your feelings feelings are evil feelings are bad watch ignore them suppress your passions so what if the wife comes to the husband and says man I'm feeling like you're not paying me any attention man you're not feeling right I don't want to talk about that or if the husband comes to the wife let's say listen I'm telling you that I love you and I need you to believe what I'm saying but she doesn't want to believe that no suppress what you're saying and so there is this thing when we say listen suppress your feelings your feelings are not valid nobody wants to hear them all your feelings are evil suppress them and then the other extreme is this do whatever you feel like right and the issue is we have to find balance in our extreme because God is emotional being he created us with Edward emotions and the real issue is not having emotions the real issues understanding their rightful place in our human experience so I want to say something to you that's very very important I want you to never forget this what is the rightful place of emotions in your human experience listen it's gonna come up on the screen behind me emotions best service as indicators not as dictators they are gauges they are not guides emotions serve you best as indicators not dictators they are gauges and not God what is an emotion it is an indicator what is an emotion it is a gauge it is not a dictator and is not a guide emotions should not be ignored and emotion should not be controlling so for example right I have a friend who has a very nice car and a couple of weeks ago he was telling me about this feature and his car right so in his car if he's driving on the highway he has a little light on his rear view mirror an indicator that blinks if something comes into his blind spot and even though he can't see what's in his blind spot the indicator tells him that something is in his blunting that I caused though right I don't have that feature in my car but he's driving and something starts flashing on his rearview mirror the indicator light tells him that something is in his blind spot watch it reveals to him that something is in the lane next to him the purpose of the the purpose of the indicator is only to reveal that something is in the lane the purpose of the indicator is not to tell him switch into that lane the purpose of the indicator is only to reveal to him that something is in the lane the purpose of the indicator is not to tell him switch into the lane key after getting the indication light must make his own decision whether or not he wants to switch into the lane or stay where he is the indicator is to reveal the indicator is not to dictate the indicator is a gauge the indicator is not to guide him into the next Lane your emotions are only indicators of things that's happening in your heart they were they reveal joy they reveal sorrow they reveal anger they reveal frustration they're like indicators that tells you man something is going on your heart the purpose of the emotions is not to tell you what to do with that emotion our emotions just tell us this is in your heart man somebody said something and I felt rage all the rages is an emotion that's telling you something is in your heart the empty emotion doesn't tell you kill the person because of the rage the emotion just is an indicator like to tell you rages in your heart and then if we're wise watch we feel then think feel think feel think feel sync not feel and just do not see the light on the rearview mirror and just merge if every time he got that indication in his rear view mirror he just merged you know what he would get into a crash so we have to feel and think feel and think feel and process what we're feeling because my emotions is not a guide I don't ignore the indicator but I'm also don't be led by the indicator see it going off in my heart but I'm not just gonna run behind the light the light is only to tell me something is going on in my heart as not to tell me to switch lanes does that make sense because the aim of emotional health is not the removal of feelings but rather management stability and wholeness see because there's teaching out there that's gonna make you feel like all my feelings are evil and I should never feel no that's not the goal of emotional health I want to make sure I teach this right the aim of him if I say I'm healthy listen I could be healthy and feel anger I could be healthy and feel sorrow I could be healthy and be mad the aim of emotional health is not to remove your feelings so if you think I was gonna come in and tell you don't feel anything that's not what this sermon is about that's porn teaching the aim of emotional health is not to remove your feelings the aim of emotional health is to lead us into management stability and wholeness you will never get rid of your feelings and so the aim is not to remove them the aim is to learn how to manage them the goal of emotional health is management the goal of emotional health is management the goal of emotional health is management and as we learn to manage our emotions we will grow in stability and wholeness and I'm gonna teach you how to do all three how do we manage how do we grow in stability how do we find wholeness so I want you when you leave today to don't think that I taught you not to feel the aim of health is not to feel the aim of health is to manage so for example this morning my wife was disappointed with me because she wanted to be here extremely early and I was running late and so by the time I came out my office at home and she came upstairs she was dressed kids ready everybody waiting and they waiting from me and she said honey you know I wanted to be there early this morning and I said I said I said I'm so sorry she said honey I really wanted to leave early I said man I'm really really sorry and then she walked out of the room and I could tell that she was she was disappointed that we couldn't get here really early this morning she want to be here to check something out in the lobby and so we got in the car and we're driving and she's really quiet for like half the drive and normally when we drive to church my wife is singing songs and she's praising God and she's bopping in her chair and she's staring at the clouds while she's driving and she's I mean and she has her own record deal in the car I mean like I mean she's putting it down and she's blowing and like everything is really really I mean the sun is shining and man she's singing her heart out and the whole way here she's like this no music and this is really awkward I'm singing like now I got a preach God's Word in a few minutes so add these shouts from the back of the car cuz that she's so into it if she could feel the tension Abby says she says mommy can you put on a song Abby can feel that thing in the car like is it's intense mommy can you put on a song and and I looked over at her just to see if something would break I'm like yes Abby and so I looked over her and I feel like man something gonna break break and I touched on her show and I said Lena did you hear what Abby said I think she wants you to put on a song [Laughter] so she puts on the radio which is abnormal because she normally would listen to her music from my phone she puts on the ring she puts on some station I don't even like and now we listen in some music and I don't even like it and I already know I'm still in trouble I'm still in trouble and then I said I said I said Lena I said you want to put on some of the music from your phone I said I said I'm really sorry we didn't get there earlier she grabbed mom she said honey it's okay and she puts on some music from a phone so in that moment she got what she got ahold of her emotions it wasn't wrong for her to feel disappointed with me but she could either cussed me out on the way here cuss out the man of God right she could've like cursed me out on the way here but she had to make a decision so in that moment she got a she got control of my emotions and she said honey is yucca clap for Miss Lina right and she's at honey he's gonna be alright you better go girl [Applause] because the aim of emotional health isn't is not to not feel the aim of emotional health is to manage what we feel so I wanna I want to just give you a path to management how do you properly manage your feelings now I know that we could we could look at some man's book or we could go read somebody's blog I didn't want to do that I thought that if we was gonna learn how to manage emotions we should take it for an example from the best leader that ever lived right so how do we properly manage our emotions and then I'm gonna give you some keys to stability and imma shut this down so I don't want to look at somebody's blog or somebody's book I know people got books out there I'd rather just look straight into the life of Jesus so Jesus the Gospel writers would cause this incident he's in the Last Supper he's spending time with his disciples he sends Judas out the room so he knows he's about to be betrayed he knows he's about to face death on the cross he knows that he's about to be momentarily separated from his father and I don't know if you ever really understood his theologically but probably the most painful thing for Jesus was not only what he suffered physically but the fact that for the first time he would have to absorb sin and because of that the father would have to turn his back on him for just a moment and that was extremely painful for so he's dealing with all this stuff in his mind he gets up from the room and then he walks out of this room to this garden and I want to read to you what Matthew recorded happen in this garden just a couple verses and I want to show you some principles from one incident in Jesus life to teach us how we properly manage our emotions so Matthew recorded this Jesus just pours out his how he's dealing with pain in his heart and then Matthew records us in Matthew 26 36 to 39 okay he says then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane and he said to them sit here awhile sit here while I go sit here awhile while I go over there and pray now watch the next few verses he took Peter and two sons of Zebedee along with them and he began to be sorrowful and troubled verse 38 then he said to them my soul is overwhelmed but sorrow to the point of death then he says to them stay here and keep watch with me verse 39 going a little further he fell down with his face to the ground and prayed my father if it is possible may this Cup be taken from me yet not as I will but as now as we grow in maturity we have to learn the proper way to manage our emotions health is not the eradication of emotions health is the management and stability of our motions so if we just take this one text I didn't want nobody's blog nobody's book just the script if we take this one text I want to pull out four principles from this one text very important write them down take a picture of them they will teach us something how do we properly manage the indicators that are going on because Jesus had an indicator what was it indicated sorrow he's feeling sorrow he's feeling pain he knows he's betrayed he's about to sew that indicator light goes off sorrow and what are some principles we could learn to properly manage our emotions when our indicator lights go off number one we learn from the life of Jesus it is wise for us to invite others into our emotional struggles the Bible says he took he so he comes out the room with eleven men did Adam read the scriptures he comes out the room with eleven men and he leaves nine of them in their place I'm sorry he leaves eight of them in place and watch from the eleven he takes three of them Peter James and John so he has eleven men over here and he's going through what sorrow eight of them are not ready to handle that sorrow [Applause] so he chooses who can handle his emotional issues and he takes with him or he invites into his sorrow three men his closest men Peter James and John not anybody his closest men those he knew can handle his humanity these same men saw him on the Mount of Transfiguration in his deity but now there was about to see his humanity who do you have around you that you can be completely vulnerable with because when your heart is going off and when your indicators are going off man you better have people in your life where you could be vulnerable with who you can be honest with who you can say Eric pray for me Milton pray for me Kenny pray for me I am heavy this week he took three people and invited them in to watch his sorrow the scripture says he took Peter the two sons of Zebedee with him and began to be sorrowful so it's just four of them in a corner and he's sorrowful in front of only three men because everybody can't handle your humanity some people you showed them your humanity they'll be judging you for the rest of your life like oh I thought you were strong I thought you never had no problem I thought you were they're not ready to handle the truth [Applause] they're not mature enough to handle the truth everybody can't see your humanity so you got to be selective about who sees your humanity but listen you are wise to not battle emotional trauma alone because when we are alone we make ourselves a target for the enemy and a target for our thoughts so Jesus battling and indicator oh my god this is so good battling an indicator goes off in his heart sorrow he says whoa this is so heavy I feel like dying I can't handle this by myself too heavy Jesus this is so heavy I feel like dying this is too much to handle by myself let me find Milton let me find Kenny let me find Eric what indicators are going off in your life that you're trying to handle by yourself that are too heavy for you to handle by yourself before you do something stupid God before you make a bad decision before you straight away go surround yourself with some people who can help you watch process that indicator if Jesus needed support and I know you strong I know you mighty but if the Son of God needed support during emotional trauma you and I are no match to deal with all of our indicators by ourself it is healthy to build a support system when you know you have emotional trauma how else do we manage our emotions this is all Jesus nobodies block number two find freedom to experience and express your emotions who told you you have to keep everything bottled up inside and who told you is not it's wrong to feel where did you get that from some of us we feel so condemned because we're feeling something it's not wrong to feel and some people are dying because you don't vent there's some of us we never talk about how we feel and the first step to healing is confession you need to name it you need to get it out you need to say you know what I am about this I feel hurt that they did this to me call up so so I feel bruised about this right the scripture says listen what the scripture says Jesus says quote parenthesis my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death and he was the greatest leader of all time and confessing his emotional trauma see and imitate a problem the problem is you look to people like me and you want us to never confess we have issues how do you find hope in that I know you love your preachers and you love your fill-in-the-blank their names and you love people that they they act like they have it all to you find open that how do you find hope where there's no transparency how how you think these people are superheroes that's what you think you think Bishop so-and-so or prophet is so-and-so or whatever someone you think they're superheroes and so you idolize them so much because you don't see their humanity and they never take the time to confess no you have to learn to get it out your heart can only hold sorrow but for so much before it starts spilling out of you and behavior you need to get it out your mouth before it bleeds out of your life would you rather bleed out of your life and cause damage or would you rather get it out your mouth so you can find healing Jesus oh my god Oh some of you get liberated today to say it's alright for me to confess you know what some of you you need to corral that prayer team when this is over so you know what I've been going through this in my marriage I've been going through this in my heart watch pray from me my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death that came out of the mouth of Jesus so it was it's okay to experience heavy emotions but we must also see find the freedom to express them spirituality is not void of feelings confession is a key to management for example I'm gonna put some of my own business in the street it's okay so this weekend a staff meeting it was Tuesday wuzhen staff meeting on Tuesday [Applause] [Laughter] we're gonna staff Nino Tuesday and I gotta give them some contacts all right so our church you know we're portable Church so we don't own a facility we don't have a building so we have an office in Morrow in South Atlanta right and from that office that's our headquarters right thank God we had enough of resources come into the church to establish an office we've had it for two years and from there listen we we have meetings we train leaders we've had prayer some of you been on teams have been through that office we have helped people from our office we've done outreach from that office collected blankets from that office we have man we do everything without that office we'd be in trouble we have no place to operate so the office is very very important to our church I mean we don't have a building yet I'm believing God that we will have a facility soon I am believing for that right I would I am believing God that more people would would make their love visible and become generous and I am believing God that I will have more givers and tithers and I am believe maybe I'm believing God somebody watching this on YouTube might just have compassion and sent us a seed for five hundred thousand that we can you know start the initial process on a building you know maybe someone is watching and you've been impacted by this ministry and you are wealthy you know maybe the Lord is moving in to sow that seed of a million dollars or five hundred thousand and you're wondering are we people of integrity just sowed the seed and watch what we do with it afterwards in the name of Jesus you know maybe there's some of you you watch this every week from cities all around the country you can partner with us you know if you're if you're growing because of these teachings you're growing because of what God is doing here maybe you can help us further the gospel you can help us get out of this school maybe you can peel off a percentage of your income and say man I watched this teaching every week I watched his podcast every week maybe I can send $20 a month fifty dollars I can do something to help my family down there in Atlanta you are part of our online family and that's completely biblical we see that Corinthian church Paul raising money in the Corinthian church to help the poor people in the Jerusalem church and is perfectly biblical to be somewhere don't send us your tithe that belongs to your local church you can help us with an offering every now and then so we have this office and I'm almost done is this helping anybody and [Applause] there is this I don't want to call their names there was this business next to us is been here for 30 years and one day they came knock on a door with the lender the manager the owner of the office and say hey these people are interested in your space and they walked them through our office and they're walking around they're like oh oh nice nice and they say oh they want to build a call center in your space we want you to move out to another space so you're trying to push us out to give them our space and they bullied us for months trying to push us to get to our space and they kept putting his contract in front of me and every time when it sound a contract something happened I felt like God was telling me obviously don't sign the contract so just just the other day last week Erica we got a letter saying that we not renewing your lease you don't matter what y'all do in three months when your lease is over we're not gonna renew your lease so you know what they've done they have effectively indirectly kicked us out of our office and we can't even legally fight them in three months we have to leave our office and we're looking and can't find a place we're looking we can't find a place and now that's another thing on my plate because now now part of our leader we now we have to expend energy looking for and we're all over them and we can't find one yet we have three months to get out of this this place and when I got the letter [Applause] I was angry I was angry and so I came into the staff meeting and I told him about the letter and I said in three months man we guys say do you know them people what they did to us then we get kicked out because of them and I was expressing my rage and the staff meeting and I don't send man you know what just for that when we leave I'm I'm throwing stuff all over the wall and I'm taking this down and and I'm taking that with me I'm taking the blinds and I'm we have a chalk wall and I'm a paint cream on the top and I was and I was angry and that was in my mouth and I was enraged and Kenny said pastor pastor pastor he was like past a man surpassed the man like we can't do that like come on past it up we can't do that past like you know pastor but what if we just do this and what if we do this and pastor what if you think if we just do this because I know how you feel and I think that it'll be okay if we did this and then the room got quiet and I looked at Kenny and Melissa was sitting there and she was like breakthrough and the room was quiet Kenny's looking at me I'm looking at him Melissa's looking at me and I said Kenny I don't care what you said I'm taking my boy I'm taking they don't feel the wrath for what they did to us [Applause] it's true Jordan was there Nadine was there true Erica we was the staffers only nice I don't care what you said and and I was just confessing to him what I felt it's all right for me to be angry I was confessing now I didn't do it yet so I didn't send yet I didn't sing yet I [Applause] didn't send yet it's just what I felt like doing and then you know and then I had to think to myself you know what maybe maybe God has something better out there for us so after I left the office that day I I went home and I began to do the next thing which we see management what Jesus did I drew near to God when your motions out of control you gotta draw near to God man yeah Bible says Jesus had going a little further he fell down and he prayed when your emotions your indicators are going off man you gotta draw near to God tell God how you feel cry out how you feel God is big enough to handle your emotions if David could pray Psalms like God break their teeth in one song and God searched my heart and another song he can handle your emotions [Laughter] [Applause] and then this last this number for this uh this this this last principle to managing emotions all not from the ones blog from the life of Jesus this next one is what I did with Kenny and with God number four subject your emotions to what is right in God's sight because our indicators sometimes can be crazy we must have a gage we must have a standard outside of our own morality your morality cannot be the standard for your indicators because if your morality is the standard for your indicators then you have made yourself a god and you and I are not good gods we are bad gods I am not good at being a God over my emotions and so when I feel rage I got a subject that rage to the authority that is higher than mind you need to challenge your emotions subject your emotions right you need to weigh your emotions against what is right in God's sight so this would be an example of it I noticed the tough one man they hurt me and I say I'm gonna hold them but after a couple months I weigh that up against I subjected to the high authority God says you have to let them go I say man but they don't deserve this he says they don't but you deserve peace so forgive them and let them go that's how you take those indicators and you subject them to the authority that is higher than us you need to challenge your emotions you have to have a standard above your own morality for your emotions you cannot be the standard-bearer for your emotions father if it is possible let this cup pass from me I don't want to do this I don't want to do this I don't want to stay in the marriage I don't want to go to the job I don't want to go to work this morning I don't want to serve next Sunday I don't want to give the offering I don't want to be faithful I don't want to say I'm sorry I don't want to say you was right I don't want to apologize I don't want to be nice to mow I don't want to go see my son I don't want I don't want I don't want I don't want but nevertheless because of what your word says day when I see your word I see this indicator and I don't feel like doing this but your word says I want to hold them but your word says I want to custom out but your word says I want to give up but your word says I want to lose hope but your word says I don't feel like being faithful but your word says I don't want to be generous that your word says I don't want to love but your word says [Applause] nevertheless that indicated not my will but your will be done because your morality cannot be the standard for your indicators that's like the church shooting in Charleston when that gentleman walked in and killed all those people during a service and I will never forget how one of the women went on CNN and the press conference and said I'm not gonna hold him he took the life of my loved one but I forgive him why because her indicator was sorrow she was probably angry she was probably in rage and she held that emotion up that indicated up to the standard that was above her own she subjected it she challenged it then she channeled it in the right direction that's how you manage your emotions you manage your emotions right by inviting others into your emotional struggles by expressing your pain by drawing near to God and keep subjecting your emotions to the standard us if we grow in maturity we learn how to manage our emotions it will help us with our behavior it will help us from ruining our life that's how we grow in management of our emotions and for those of us who realize you know what I am NOT healthy in my emotions I don't want to leave you hanging let me just give you these last couple of things this is important for me to give you because I am intentional that I don't want to leave this series and not give you guides so these last things I want to give you and then I'm gonna pray for you you could just take pictures of them or just jot them down really quick okay if you know you're struggling with emotional health issues and you want to grow in emotional health okay you want to grow any emotional health these quick things I just want to give them to you will help you grow an emotional health number one just develop the discipline of managing your emotions just taught you that okay snap it take a picture of it write it down okay you want to develop the discipline of managing your emotions the more you learn to manage your emotions the more you'll grow in emotional health the second thing is nurture your soul with the scriptures and with hope keep feeding yourself God's Word and keep having optimism hope about the future okay this next one is very important um you would grow in health if you invest in your marriages your singleness and your relationships if you are married you know what it is to be heavy because your marriage is toxic so if both of you I'm talking to both of you start investing in your marriage like my wife and I did it will help me to grow in emotional health if you're single don't see marriage as the promised land you have to see a singleness as beautiful while you are single and invest in your singleness you don't keep saying woe is me and where is he and why is she know if you are single in this season see your singleness as beautiful and invest in your singleness may go to a movie go get something to eat be single and have swagga in your singleness and don't feel bad if you're not married invest in your singleness be single with swagger we're all my single people that be single with swagger tweet that hashtag right at Philip hey Mitchell be single with swagger don't be going around woe is me because he's my day or she's not there be single with swagger invest in your singleness and if you have a marriage listen you she's not Kim and she's not somebody you gotta stop dreaming about invest listen the Bible says drink on your own sister and that's what you got you got to work with that she Beyonce she's not Lena she's my that's what you got you gotta work with that you gotta watch what you got I mean I mean he fill up PA don't compare your husband to me don't do that don't keep bringing me up at home you invest in your husband invest in your wife invest in each other you got to work what you got to my work what you got whether you're single or married invest in what you got this will help you to grow in health okay another one I'm really almost done I want to help you really big grow in self-awareness you have to know you and you got to know what's going on inside you you got to be sensitive to your own indicators like why am I always angry about this you got to know why does this always sink me why every time I go here I sink why every time I talk to this person I think maybe I need to stop talking to you you have to know you every time I go to this restaurant I have memories of somebody that took me there you got to know what sink you you have to know you you got to be sensitive to those indicators and what God may be saying to you be sensitive to you grow and personal awareness I had to say you know what if I spend too much time on social media it sinks me so I don't spend as much time that's why I don't go on Facebook if y'all I don't know if it's tough populate from other places I don't like books on going there because it would bother me so I don't go in there you got to know you I like Twitter and Instagram right and I try not to go on there that much but if so if social and social media out there was a point I was too addicted so I have to I have to curb my appetite for that you gotta have self-awareness you got to know your own triggers this next one is big almost done you need to avoid personal extension beyond personal capacity you need to avoid personal extension beyond personal capacity Phillip was guilty of this you are not Jesus and you cannot be the answer to everyone's problem and every cry is not yours to fix and you can't keep saying yes to everything every yes you say to one thing as a no you must say to something else so you can't every time you hear a cry you run into it or every time somebody wants you to do something you say yes you need to learn this powerful word call no you can't be involved in everything you can't help everyone and you can't think that you can run into every problem that is a complex of emotional unhealthiness you have to learn to say no don't do things beyond your capacity you know you beyond your capacity when you're burnt out and stress you're doing too much this next one will help you grow in health almost done grow and personal contentment and gratefulness there's nothing wrong with having vision and goals but you have to learn to be thankful for what you have if you're always crying down what you have and always tearing down what you have your heart is never gonna be home it's not the house you want but be thankful you got someplace to live not the car you want but be thankful you have something to drive you can't keep tearing down the things that you have you gotta be you have to find contentment be thankful what listen I'm driven and everyone knows me I'm driven I have goals girl go for yours dude go for yours but while you're going be content with what you have okay does that make sense okay just a couple more and I'm prey for you this oh my god lord help us lord thank you for helping me with this this next one you need to practice the habit of Sabbath it took me five years of ministry to learn this pastoring a church I just learned this in the last year being a workaholic it's not godly and if you think being a workaholic is godly you have not read the scriptures it is not godly to be a workaholic pause God created for six days and on the seventh day he rested hold up if God needed rest and Jesus would often slip away to a quiet place and be alone from everybody some of us are unhealthy because we don't rest you know what a Sabbath is a Sabbath is let me chill out for a couple of hours scripturally a Sabbath is a 24-hour period in which you do no labor you don't do anything like for the Jews it's from sundown it's I think 6:00 p.m. on Friday to 6:00 p.m. on Saturday they don't do anything you need to build into your schedule a Sabbath I want to encourage you find a day where you take 24 hours you say maybe from Friday at this time until Saturday at this time I'm not gonna do any work I'm gonna just binge watch Netflix I'm gonna eat ice cream I'm gonna go ride my bike I'm gonna go for whatever I'm gonna put on my my onesie I'm gonna be lazy on the couch I don't have one I'm gonna put on my onesie I'm gonna be lazy on the couch I'm gonna wrestle the kid when you don't actually do any work you don't take any emails no conference calls right you're not trying to you you block out everything if that if social media caused you to work you stay off of social now how come this one day I never see you posts I'm on Sabbath you build in 24 hours that just rest for me that Sunday evening until Monday evening that's why you won't find me I don't post I'm not answering your calls I'm not taking your text messages you're not bullying me into a meeting a Sunday evening until Monday evening I don't do any work now I don't I know now I don't all right let me finish this up next the light and activities that force the joy if it forces joy delight in it it's okay you can play with the dog wrestle the kids go to Starbucks go to the movies next refused to hold people and offenses you will never be healthy if you got people living in your heart you need to release them you will never be healthy if you've got offenses in your heart you need to release it two more this next one God you want to be healthy at some point time you got to embrace you and God's plans for you you're not gonna get another you you're not gonna be somebody else to stop pretending to be somebody else you just gotta embrace who you are you're Metron your circle God's plan for your life it is what it is just that was your start it's not about what you started as where you end up this was your parents is it's you got to embrace you and then this last one you got to build a strong intimate relationship Jesus your life must flow out of an intimate relationship with Jesus it's not God's will for you to be dealing with chronic pain in your heart and to be unhealthy that's not as will for you you can't read the scriptures and come away with that God absolutely wants us to be healthy in our hearts and if you're in this room and your heart is broken your heart is shattered you know you got to find healing you can find healing you got to start grieving you can't keep that stuff inside you you'll heal by grief and getting it out flushing out what's in you out of you you're healed by letting stuff go letting people go letting yourself go you can't keep condemning yourself for stuff that's in the past and people here your heart is broken because something over your shoulder I know what that feels like at some point time you got to see a pass as a school and not as a prison your pass is a school it's not a prison you gotta trust in God and others to help this teaching is very important because you're never gonna get away from your emotions you're gonna deal with them every day all day and I know personally the pain and the regrets and the damage of being led by my feelings and making bad decisions because of that so I pray that you would lean into this teaching and I pray that you would feel God's Spirit saying to you my son my daughter it is my desire for you to be emotionally healthy and strong it is not God's will for you to just be broken emotionally for the rest of your life that's not his will he wants you to be mentally healthy he wants you to be emotionally healthy he wants you to have self-control by other cells a man without control is like a city without walls did this solve all your problems in a sermon no but if you take this teaching you begin to apply these principles you will put yourself on a journey towards health I'm on my journey and I'm pleading with all of you hundreds of you to join me on the journey mental health and emotional health it will radically transform your life the emotions are indicators it just revealed what's in your heart don't ignore them and don't be led by them let them reveal and then follow the plan of management for your emotions my prayer is that a year from now some of you would testify as a pastor you remember that series what the health man had changed my life I'm healthier in my mind today than I have ever been before and I'm healthy in my heart than I have ever been before God has truly changed my life in this regard I want you to be and I want you to join me in the journey of emotional health you need that for your heart heart is wicked it deceives man it could it can make us heavy I want you to be emotionally healthy in your heart and I want you to join me on that journey amen my brothers and sisters amen let's pray this message was a blessing for you and you have a testimony please email us at share at victory Church eight co.org again thank you for tuning in we look forward to seeing you next week [Music]

Channel: Victory Church

Views: 4,322

Rating: 4.9172416 out of 5

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Id: mDKeDtSHMNQ

Length: 79min 33sec (4773 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 12 2018