More Than Funny Comedy Special | Michael Jr. #comedy #standup #Inspiration

Yo I am so excited that you're  here we're about to have some fun   we're about to laugh you can bring the whole  family bring the dog bring your enemies   i don't know exactly how that's gonna work out  but whatever you need to do tell them all that we   are about to laugh let me introduce myself i am  Michael jr someone referred to me as Michael jr   what i'm called to do is really well let  me say it like this i started out doing   comedy and i really enjoy doing stand-up comedy  what i'm really called to do is to comedically   inspire people to live their best life people want  to laugh but that's not necessarily what they need   i don't mean that people don't need to laugh  we do and that's what we're going to do today   but what i mean is people may want something  a little more than just laughs which is why we   actually called this comedy special more than  funny you'll understand that a little more   as we jump into this comedy special now you might  be asking yourself what's the catch why are you   dropping this comedy special for free this don't  make sense is there a catch of course there's a   catch i need you to it's pretty simple actually  um what i need you to do is just send me $20. If   each one of you would send me twenty dollars it's  going to help us feed a black family in American   i'm just playing my kids already eating there  there's actually not a catch the only thing i   ask you to do is if you like this special if  you laugh at all i want you to share it with   seven of your friends if you want to do  eight that's fine i want you to share it with   seven friends seven friends for real like  you can do that who can't share something   with seven doggone friends you probably do way  more than that that's what i want you to do i   want the laughter to spread on and on but it's  not just laughter there's also some inspiration   so share with seven friends after you see this  thing if you don't have seven friends i need   you to reevaluate how you're showing up in life  you also may be asking why am i doing this well   there's a lot of uncertainty out there there's  a lot of fear a lot of people dealing with   depression and i know like i know that comedy can  help break through that but just because comedy   breaks through doesn't necessarily mean that  there's going to be fulfillment on the other end   unless we do something different with this comedy  than it's ever been done before i think you're   gonna know what i'm talking about after you see  this thing it's gonna be so doggone cool now i   also want you to know we've decided to insert  some additional information in the midst of the   comedy it's kind of like commercials but it's  not from anybody else it's actually me telling   you about some more really cool stuff we got that  can help you take things to the next level so you   can live your best life things like this cool  podcast we got we got a really cool course we   created i wrote a book which is bananas i wrote  a book anyway we're going to tell you about that   throughout the special but what i really want you  to do is call your family your friends make sure   they're all gathered around because now we get  to laugh together i suppose the dylan wallace   is hurt and all this pain and all these things has  been going on the world just take a pause from all   of the news which is mostly bad let's just sit  down and laugh together enjoy more than funny you guys are going to be a  part of a live filmed movie the name of this movie is more than funny and  tonight you guys are going to be experiencing   the more and we're going to  have a lot of fun tonight   hello hey mommy great awesome getting  prepared for this comedy special we're doing   but it's it's not just funny it's more it's these  inspiring stories that are in the middle of it   trying to figure out a way to explain that to  people because this hadn't really been done   before at first i wondered about what's  more than money what does that mean but   you're gonna be telling stories of real life  people and the things that people go through   is life and if you can laugh  through life what a blessing i would probably be speechless up there to try  and introduce you but oh my gosh i'm gonna be like   everybody i am so very proud and with great  joy i would like to introduce you to my son you guys are awesome thank you so much you guys  are awesome all right you could have a seat i   didn't do anything yet go ahead have a seat i  i ain't gonna crack a joke i just wanna throw   that out there yeah all right i'm just gonna get  started man got some fun let's get in this uh i am   uh i love being a dad like that stuff is the best  one of the best responsibilities i got five kids   yeah man and uh and uh and i travel a  lot you know so i could see them all oh   i'm just playing i don't see him i was here oh   no i do have five kids whenever you have a  big family you have to figure out ways to   save money right we want to get our family  pictures taken that stuff is expensive   so we did to save money right as we  all got in the front seated car um look both ways and rent a red light that's what  we did that's what we did that's what we did   yeah yeah uh two weeks later  the picture came in the mail but my son blinks we had to do it again so i was doing that joke in prison recently  right i wasn't in prison like hey i'm funny   get off me it wasn't like that um whenever  we're doing a big comedy event sometimes   we'll stop at a homeless shelter or prison  abuse children's facility we'll stop there   and we'll do some some comedy for the people  right so i'm at this prison and i'm doing why do   comedy out of prison seminar looking at me it's  a captive audience don't throw it out there uh   so we're at this prison and i do the joke  about the red light and 75 percent of the   prisoners laugh the rest of them nothing then  i realized what was going on some of them had   been locked up for so long the dude next to him  had to explain a joke was like see nowadays when   you run a red light they sent a picture with a  ticket in the mail then he looked at the dude   next to him and was like a red light is what  they use for traffic when you go down the road and then he said a row is what they use   where am i right now i don't work that hard to find  comedy it just kind of shows up   um i took my daughter to get a toddler  bed and uh it came with a 20-year warranty i'm just gonna wait some years i'm gonna take  you back they're gonna be like what's wrong   i'll be like uh her feet are hanging off the end and and her husband's uncomfortable too i need my money back get my money back so before i go any further i want to explain  to you guys how comedy works this is how comedy   works uh first there's a setup and then there's  a punchline let me explain the setup is when a   comedian will use his talents and resources  to seize any opportunity to ensure that you   the audience are moving in the same direction the  punch line occurs when he changes that direction   in a way you're not expecting when you catch  on to this change you've received the punch   line and the results are revelation fulfillment  and joy expressed through laughter let me give   you an example i took my family to mexico for a  week on vacation the first two days were rough   because the people there kept calling me a negro  uh the third day i realized they were saying amigo did you see what happened there bro what's your name right there so brother  right there with a hat on what's your name   oh i said brother i'm sorry yeah yeah you thought  i said brother no i was talking to the black dude   i saw the you i'm sorry my bag i was talking to  them yeah yeah yeah that's it brother okay cool   all right cool cool i'm sorry he's like  is he no no you're a brother but i was okay oh brother any sports fans  here anybody likes your sports yeah   yeah me too man uh baseball baseball  yeah not me not that sport not that one   i'm just not in the basement i got some friends  who played major league baseball right and invited   me to a game and i've never been to a baseball  game before ever so i go to this yankees white sox   game sit behind home plate first thing i notice is  everyone in the stand seems to be a little tipsy   but i wasn't sure to the seventh inning and  everybody stood up and started singing a song   what's the song take me out to the ball  game um we are already at the ball game   you don't even know where you are right now now some people say baseball players are  athletes some people say they're not oh   no i'm just watching the game and this dude  gets up to bat right just um the swollen dude   he was a yankee too so he had the stripes on so   every time he breathed it looked like  somebody's trying to break out of jail so he pitching the ball it's like a base  hit dude takes off running fast as he can   but it's really not that fast when  he got the first base he was done and he did something i'd never seen in all  the sports before he went like this anybody   know what happened another human being showed up  took his spot and started being athletic for him he went and sat down i'm like are you an  athlete or hatefully what just happened you never see that in football peyton  manning about to get sacked wait a second   yo bring it in dude yo stand  right here that dude gonna hit you you already caught him a pinch runner i would  love to have a pinch runner in life your wife   asking him complex questions hey does this  dress make me look big um hey bring it in dawg she got a question for you man stand right here i like sports man and me growing up around mostly   black people but only sports  whoever played was water polo why is that funny why is that funny  because black people don't swim that's why   i ain't saying all black people don't swim i'm  just saying all black people i know don't swim   i know some of y'all like that's a broad statement  okay okay cool uh what's your name right here is   his sister right from what's your name amber ooh  i was hoping for kesha okay uh okay amber amber   amber amber uh okay what's your friend's name  i'm gonna go over here what's your friend's name your sister ariel okay uh okay okay uh   ariel uh who we ever met before no okay cool  ariel you swim no what do you know i ain't saying   all black people don't swim i'm just saying  all black people i know and ariel don't swim so like a broad statement i don't think so i don't   think so that's why you never hear  about black women giving water birth you don't first of all   first of all it would take too long right she like  is my hair gonna get wet i'm not gonna be just no think about it the baby's like the baby  will be like what what no not right now   not right now no you need to get  that right out there you think i   want to come out to water i just  broke the water that was in here i'm trying new sports now um i went  uh i went ball hunting recently uh   some people call it golf or whatever uh first of all it took all day right  and uh i shot i shot a 121 right   and um and then we had lunch and it was like  hey we're gonna do the other nine hoes now   he's like nah we're not going back out  there and they lied to get me to go they   was like yo the greens are awesome i was  like cool i showed up with some cornbread cornbread if you didn't get that last joke turn to the  personnel section who look like they can't swim yo i really hope that you're enjoying this special  like for real it's comedy and it's special i hope   it's special to you but you don't even know yet  you don't have any idea yet what's about to happen   i don't know if it's like eight to ten minutes  or so but we're about to make a turn that kind   of separates this special probably from any other  comedy event that you've seen before it's gonna be   really really cool what i want you to do right now  though if you would please i want you to join my   community we have a community of folks who are all  about not just jokes but also being inspired and i   want you to be a part of that we send you footage  we've seen some really cool stuff some laughter   just some random stuff that we don't put anywhere  else on social media or any other platform that   you get access to simply by being on my list  so all you got to do is go to michaeljr.com   special michaeljar.com special you'll be on the  list in addition to that i'm going to send you   a free chapter of my book funny how life works  so just go there right now like you can do it   right now i'll just wait you just i'm just going  to wait be awkward we might have a qr code up   here too if you want to do the qr code you could  just hold your phone you know how to do it you've   been to a restaurant before unless you're watching  this in prison a qr code is a thing where they um   iphone is a a telephone is i don't need  to explain anyway do that and that and   we're gonna jump back into these jokes right now yo but i do i think working out is important  uh like uh i was at the gym the other month   right and um and i was going to do some  cardio right but they moved it upstairs   i ain't going up there man you tripping hey get  an elevator or something let me go up there man   it's about to work out and i get  recognized by this lady i guess she's   she's one of them i was like hey  how you doing she's like michael   you understand you're my favorite comedian every  time i see you i laugh my butt off i was like keep laughing i'll try to be funnier i don't know what to do yo and the gym we go to it has free  child care which is awesome right   because the kids are like they're  doing arts and they're doing crafts   and stuff and me and my wife uh we  we at home that's who we at yeah we   we're at home we might stop for ice cream or  something but we at home for the most part it's weird when they call you  because they bout to close stuff is rude man i'm trying to sleep but that's not going to happen no more because  we're good parents um we joined 24 hour fitness   so so yeah we just pick them up  on the way to work the next day you know any coaches here anybody coach anything  on any level anybody coach anything what do you   coach baseball cool how long you coach  baseball 30 years you're not done yet what do you do when you're not coaching ball cool the other day i met a  dude said he was a project manager   i was like what you collect rent  i don't even know what that means anyway so you've been coaching for 30 years so as  a coach have you ever said this or something   like this have you ever looked at your team  and said listen the stuff i'm teaching you   here is not just about this game you can  apply it to life you ever say that exactly   here's the thing about that statement coach it's  not true i need you to stop saying it immediately   let me explain straight out of high school i got  a job parking cars one of the cars was really nice   so i took it for a little spin company found  out my boss lost the account he was yelling   at me screaming i didn't know what to say or do  i thought back to my high school football coach   i looked at my boss i was like you know  what man you win some you lose some man   you can't let this one loss get you down listen the important thing is  i went out there and i have fun so uh i grew up uh i grew up in  the hood uh for this next joke um it was rough too like if you wanted a pizza  delivered like the police had to bring it   the place it was called it was called  popo john's that was neither the place um just trying to see what side of town y'all  from that's what i was trying to do that's   what i was trying to do we used to play games  in my neighborhood remember the game slug bug   if you're from the east coast they call  it punch bug here's how the game works   if you see a volkswagen bug you get to hit  your friend those are all the instructions in my neighborhood they would take the game  a little too far they would add to the game   uh you ever play uppercut fire truck what about minivan body slam you ever play  that game there's always one crazy dude in   a group who'll make up games on the spot  like hit you in the throat tall building you play too much man you play too much and people will ask me sometime  michael jr what makes you laugh   what makes me laugh most really is awkwardness did you feel it just now did you feel  it like i'll look for awkwardness like   i'll get on an elevator when there's  like six or seven people in there   i'll let the door close behind  me and i won't turn around and then i'll say something random  like my shoes are on upside down   and then everyone gets off on the next floor  and then i just giggled my way to the top   there's so much fun another thing i do right  you gotta try this this is so much fun like   i'll use a phrase the right way that most people  use the wrong way it creates awkwardness and it's   so much fun let me explain so i walk up to  somebody i don't know i never met him before   in public from a little distance i walk up  to him and i'll say hey there a stranger haven't seen you in forever   dance just walk off i just walk off i'm  telling you you gotta try you gotta try   it'll be awkward at first when you go home  you'll be crying it is the best it's the best yo something else i did like so i grew up in  michigan i grew up in michigan and it's cold   in michigan right now i live in dallas right  and recently um recently i found one of my   old ski masks right of my old ski mask right  um and i like awkwardness and stuff man so uh   so i just started walking around dallas with a  ski mask oh man i'm not gonna rob anybody that's   just wrong i just got ski masks on right went to  the bank too went to the bank went to the bank um   again i'm not gonna rob anybody i'm in line like  everybody else hey little girl how you doing cool reason i went to the bank is  because like what they gonna   do have you seen the security guards at the bank it's like one extreme or another some young dude  pimples on his face he really a insecurity guard or it's like a super old dude with like  six hearing aids a social security guard and they never got a gun they never got a gun  you got a walkie-talkie you're not a security   guard you're a tattletail that's what you are  you're a grown man tattletail that's what you are yo what about this one right you ever be on a job   interview and part way through you  realize huh i don't wanna work here yo at that point don't bail on the interview you  should have fun flip the whole interview they   say something like so tell me a little bit about  yourself you're like you know what you go first let me ask you a question where  do you see me in five years because they always ask those weird questions  they ask questions like uh they'll say so tell   me about a time you had a disagreement with a  co-worker and then tell me how you worked it out   like oh okay okay oh yeah yeah so i had a  colleague who actually took credit for some work   i did like they didn't do anything on a project  i fully did it and they took all the credit so   what i did right i walked over to their cubicle  right um and then fast forward here i am you know i think we're 100 feet away from my  last employer we're good we're good that was a restraining order joke i just made it  up right now i wasn't even scheduled it was just   popped up in my head so this first story i want to share with you  actually ends with me doing stand-up comedy   at a homeless shelter and up front there's  this lady named eileen who's laughing and um   it's pretty awesome to see her laughing because  when we first met her she was in a completely   different place but all of this changed  because there's a guy named john ramsey i've been asked how what prepared  you for where you are today   i've had a lot of career  changes over the years and looking back it made perfect sense  that i would be doing what i am now everything everywhere when i've worked   everything i've been involved with  has prepared me for where we are today but you go to the people who who don't even want  to be or can't be in an actual shelter right so   they live in the woods and how do you find people  who are in the woods like well how does that work   i literally go in search of them i use google  earth in in the city to where if i'm looking at   a patch of of trees there and you see blue   blue is a common color of a tarp then i know  that there was a campsite there some of the   locations can be really difficult to get to so  that's where we use that little atv that we used you go out there with a goal to minister to them  and they minister to us when we're out there   we focus on the guys that are off  and forgotten or want to be forgotten   we want to help them put their lives back  together we want to help them leave the street got to make a difference i i can't imagine not having someone or having that hope   and to be able to give someone  that hope i i can't put it in words i can't imagine being without it so john is all in serving some of the most needy  homeless people in his area this is where we first met eileen just the city  enforcement crew was kicking her out of the place   she was trying to live or should i say survive i  got to see firsthand how important john's work is   and the power of the word hope we're not no we're coming to i'm  john with hands of hope we're okay so let's go so some type of person like i find comedy everywhere  right and if i don't um i just make it up like   this next thing um i met a family from africa  who came to america to adopt a white kid um her name was emily uh they changed it to ubunte  and um and they don't know how to do her hair yes there's some adoptive parents  over there cracking up right now yo so i hope you enjoying this special as i said  here i am again i got something really cool to   tell you about so uh as you know i don't just want  people to laugh i want to help people as much as i   possibly can one time when i was performing in  los angeles i was outside this club and when i   walk outside um i saw a homeless guy never seen  a homeless guy outside this club before ever   but i had this thought i was like what about  him how could i give him an opportunity to laugh   so this is actually what inspired to thought which  which inspired me even more to start a non-profit   i have called funny for the forgotten we do things  like we go to homeless shelters we go to prisons   we go to abused children's facilities in locations  like that and we take comedy there we make   laughter commonplace in these uncommon places  because these people really really need to laugh   so if in any way at all you want to support us  at funding for the forgotten you could do exactly   that you can go to fundingfortheforgotten.org and  help us make more laughter common in those types   of places people really need to laugh not just me  and you in these circumstances there's people who   are doing way worse and if we can bring them to  funny that's what i want to do so if you want to   turn your money into that sort of funny so people  can have more joy in life let's work together   like for real other than that just jump back in  this comedy special i hope you liking it like   for real cause i'm having a blast watching  it is that weird that i like watching myself   that well that sounded weird anyway check it when  i was in school i used to struggle my reading   right uh my teachers tried to tell me i had  adhd uh i ain't paying no attention whatever um and my uncle would try to make me  feel better right here trying to   make me feel better he says stuff like uh  don't worry about her nephew we math people he said you probably gonna be a math  genius like i was you got at least a 40 40 chance was like boy listen if i had a nickel for   every time somebody tried to tell me  my math was wrong i'd have 2.83 cents if you didn't get that last joke  you probably a map genius too i did though i used to struggle my reading  in school like i used to struggle with my i   read fine now by the way like the signs over  the door to say excite i can read this stuff but i used to struggle my reading like i couldn't  sound words out phonetically it just didn't work   that way i would have to look at the words  differently i would look at the font size   the color the positioning what's in front of  it what's behind it how people responded to it   i actually came up with seven different ways to  look at a word to determine what that word was   then i got really good at it to the point in high  school people didn't know i wasn't really reading   i was just working it out really really fast now  as an adult i read just fine but i still have this   ability to look at words and people in situations  seven different ways almost immediately in fact   it's the primary place that i pull my comedy from  so they're very things from my past it looked like   it was a handicap it seemed as if i was dealt a  bad hand it's almost like i was practicing even   though i didn't know i was practicing because  that's again the primary place i pull my comedy   from so let me say this again so you can hear  what i'm saying that thing from your past the   fact that you never met your dad before your mom  was alcoholic or whatever you were molested as   a child god didn't cause that but he'll use  it in preparation for what he has you to do   chances are you've been practicing maybe  you didn't know you were practicing so as a result of this practice i find  funny everywhere like for real so i'm at   the airport the other day and this cool little  white kid walks up to me asked for autograph   i was like cool what's your name buddy he  said i'm tanner i was like no you're not help your neighbor help your neighbor i'm watching tv right i'm watching tv and this  commercial came on you've seen it before there's   a commercial where the old lady she fell down  and she's like help i'll fall and i can't get up   first thing i'm thinking why don't  the cameraman help her he right there he is right there what's the strongest world man i get random thoughts like uh did  god give chickens wings just for us they don't even use them they're just working  them out all day long look at that wing right   there man look at that wing somebody gonna  love that wing right there man you put some   hot sauce on that wing man some salt and pepper  that's gonna be a good wing for somebody man i wrote a mama joke i don't really do your  mama jokes but i had one pop in my head   right so i'm gonna do this your mama  joke but the reason i'm gonna do it is   because there's a learning opportunity  on the back side of this your mama joke   so i'm gonna do the joke then we're gonna see  what we can learn on the back end of it all right   here's your mama joke um your mama's so fat  they couldn't even lift her up in prayer that's about what i expected just now that's  what i expected so notice the response to   that joke if you laugh that's the right  response but as you notice some people went let me explain to you where you went wrong um when  you hear your mama joke you're under impression   that somebody's talking about yo mama it's not  your mama it's a random mama that nobody knows nobody's ever met her before she probably don't  even got kids it's a random mama but instead of   you enjoying a joke you're sitting there going  no stop it she's trying to lose weight stop it   it is not your mother it's a random  mama nobody's ever met her before   his next joke is one of my favorites  because this is a time release joke   what i mean is i'm gonna do the joke and  some people are gonna get it immediately   some people anywhere from five to fifteen  seconds later other people not tonight that's okay that's just where you are right now the fun part about this joke is i'm going to  deliver the joke and once you get the joke i   want you to be quiet and listen for the pockets of  people in your area in your theater getting a joke   at different times so here it is um i'm thinking  about opening up some restaurants in the north um   probably gonna call it um um african-american  barrel so i'm thinking about it so oh just now okay okay did you just help her right now was you  just whispering african-american barrel cool cool i see some fake laughs too that's a good one that's my favorite one right there i like  that one you have no idea what just happened my kids love animals they love  animals uh we don't have any but um   but when they see them they get excited  my son four years old he wanted a fish   a four-year-old boy and a fish listen i already  know this is not going to work out for the fish on our way to the pet store i want to get my  money's worth right so i stopped at the grocery   store and got some hot sauce you know this is  the case it don't work out um let me open the   demographics on that joke a little bit uh i got  some tartar sauce got some tartar sauce too yeah so we're going to get a fish right and um  i know this is not going to work out for   the fish he's four years old and when we get to  the pet stores almost like the fish know it too   i walk around the corner i see the  aquariums and fish swimming all fast   my son comes around the corner all  of them slow down my son pointed out   fish he's like dad i want that one right  there and for real we're fishing like this my son was like dad is that fish  doing that because he's about to die   he's like that's exactly why he's doing it son i was like come on son let's find another fish  and i look back and they're fishing like this my daughter had a hamster um i say had a hamster   uh cause we were in the backyard  playing and a hawk or something she's like daddy where's mr jacobs going um he um he's going hang gliding yeah yeah he's  gonna hang glide we um we're gonna pick him up   later at the pet store that's what we're gonna  do we're gonna pick him up later at the pet store   yeah yeah um if he has a good time he might  look different when we pick him up though i didn't really have a lot of  pets growing up um i had a pet fly and i didn't want him to get away  right so i pulled his wings off and i named him walker i'm sorry i heard some people grimace  when i said i pulled the wings off a fly   is there something nicer you do  the flies that are in your house you smash them that's better seems much better because for all we know a fly  could grow his wings back he's not gonna reinflate i hope you're still having fun hope the whole  family is still around having a great time i   know i am like on the reel so uh what's coming  up next in the comedy special we're going to   start talking about some dogs and even well i  don't want to give it away but this is one of my   favorite things because it's like improv it's just  everything you're about to see in the next part of   the special improv like off the dome none of this  stuff was was planned out at all so speaking of   not planning things out one thing i really like to  do is leverage my comedic ability to help people   understand life i've mentioned that before  like i really want to leverage it that's why   some people might say stuff like comedic thought  leader because i really want to help people   get there so to do that we created some tools that  i'm about to tell you about i wrote a book first   of all called funny how life works where it takes  stories from my life and we add some really cool   content and some understanding to those stories in  a way where you can apply it to your life there's   actually some appliable principles in the books  you're laughing you're having fun it's going kind   of deep so you can get that book super excited  about that we also created a uh a journal that   goes along with the book and we made a course  called get on course that is not the name of it   but that's exactly what it does we leverage comedy  in a course to help you understand how life works   so you're sitting back you're laughing you get to  enjoy this course you can watch what your whole   family can do with your small group it's pretty  doggone cool and i want to give you access to   it like on the reel so you can get access to the  book and all of the whole stuff there's probably a   qr code up right now if you want to get that boom  the website is on the bottom of the screen these   are all tools just like this comedy special just  to help you be in a better place people will come   to my event to read my books and whatnot hoping  to insert more laughter into their life but i   know like i know what i'm really called to do in  addition to that is to insert more life into their   laughter and that's what we're about to do that's  exactly what my goal is that is what i desire to   more than anything so any of these things i  tell you about all of it is with the goal of   doing exactly that inserting more life into your  laughter so truly is funny how life works and if i   can help you understand how oh i got a podcast too  forgot about that got a podcast called funny how   i think you know you know what it's called anyway  that being said let's jump back in to these jokes when i was a kid we had a dog right  we had a dog um clap if you got a dog   if you got a dog clap cool cool um so  uh keep clapping if you love your dog   yeah uh we just had a dog um wasn't no love  and not like we don't even know where he came   from like that dog just he just showed up one day  man we don't even know what kind of dog it was we   didn't spend no money on him he just literally  don't know where he came for this is our whole   relationship with our dog right we had a dog  took him to the vet got the bill left from there never saw that dog again man i remember asking my   dad i was like dad what happened to  our dog he's like he can't get out i was like what he said he can't get out remember  when your uncle was locked up and he couldn't get   out same thing man dog ain't got no job either man  some people love that dog though i think it's cool   if you love your dog as long as you know the dog  don't love you back it's true hurts a little but   it's true hear me out if you have dog food and  your neighbor has steak you ain't got no dog   no more so i said that one time at this event  and this lady waited 45 minutes in an autograph   line to prove to me her dog loved her 45 minutes  right she walked through me she said i got someone   to show you she hands me a newspaper article about  her and a dog she pulled it out of her purse first   question why is that in your purse like you just  just came to the comedy show with an article about   you and a dog so she showed me the article and it  talked about how the dog saved her life apparently   her house caught on fire and she was asleep and  they said the dog would not leave her aside it   kept barking and barking and barking until finally  she woke up and they got out the house safely i   was like wow that's amazing wow let me ask you a  question um you didn't have a doggy door did you just i think the dog saved your life too the dog was like oh you coming too well come on   come on i didn't know i could  do that with my paw come on if i get a dog man if we do get a dog  i would name my dog something useful   like like i would name my dog something like  grandma hear me out dog named grandma's awesome   your friend calls you up hey can you help me move  to the fifth floor of my new apartment building   to which you can reply ooh i love to  i'm supposed to take grandma for a walk but you gotta be careful though cause you  forget your dog's name is grandma you get mad   at the dog and sound like a crazy person dog on  grandma chewed up my shoes and peed on the couch she getting old man i think  i'm about to put her down yo so i have a theory about dog names this is  just a theory i'm not saying this theory is   100 just letting you know it's a theory i have  about dog names we're going to check the theory   right here in your city we're going to  just check the theory i know for sure   so here's my theory it seems like my white friends   when i talk about my white friends i'm  including the white people in this room it seems like my white friends most of  the times give their dogs human names black people not so much i could be wrong i  don't know just find out if you're a white   person you have a dog raise your hand  if you're a white person with a dog   i'd like to talk to this lady right here  with a stripe she got a striped shirt on blue   yeah yeah can you give her the microphone cool  yes they got a mic for you so everybody hear you   what is your name angela angela cool first  of all angela what kind of dog do you have   she is a shibu and you shibu indian okay we're  on the right track already on the right track   we're on the right track yeah that is  not a black dog that's not a black dog and what is your dog's name  hayley thanks for playing along   thanks for playing along  thanks for very much thanks man i need another white person with a dog i'm  looking for another white person with a dog   yes you gotta go give her to mike  you can give her the microphone cool   cool and what is your name laurie  laurie and what kind of dog do you have   well i have a border terrier okay cool where'd  you did you get them on the border and no i had your life is amazing by the way i just want  to throw it out there that little at the end   that's pretty awesome okay and uh what is your  dog's name caleb thanks for playing the law another white person with a dog i'm looking  for another white person with a dog another   white person with a dog there's a little girl  with her hand up let me explain some to you   um first of all you don't have a dog um yeah yeah  your parents have a dog you have a furry roommate   yeah yeah yeah yeah let me ask you a  question how much does dog food cost   oh you don't know do you yeah yeah yeah  you know why because you don't got a dog   um cool cool looking for another white person with  a dog i'm gonna go to this guy right here awesome   and um what is your name sir jim jim yes people  always talk about going to you do they show up mostly the out of out-of-shape ones  but anyway i'm gonna do the jokes man you let me see if i got this right you  came to the comedy show with your own jokes you don't go to starbucks or some  coffee grounds in your pocket dude i just need sugar i just  need sugar that's all i need   all right jim what kind of dog do you  have a weimaraner i'm sorry what happened you said why am i running who are you the police right now i don't  understand what just happened that brother   just broke down into why am i running you're  not running right now we were just talking about   people going to the gym maybe they need to run  i don't know what's going on with you right now   all right and what kind of dog you said it's  a a whimer a wagon okay raise your hand if   you know what a weimar runner is cool cool  look at the complexion of the hands right now   someone point that out did you see that did you  see it the whole room got brighter did you see it okay okay and what is your dog's  name tobias odin dal von burn does your dog have a job or something  dog got a social security number don't it   let's check the other half of the theory  i need a black person with a dog i need a   black person with a dog first of all notice how  many hands are not going up i'm gonna point that   out real quick notice how many hands are not  going up okay cool cool uh i'm gonna go with   that sister right there i'm gonna go with  that is that okay can i can y'all get her   is it two right there no you gotta keep your  hand up yeah the stripes right there cool cool   pass the mic down to her you could tell  this is completely unrehearsed i just want   to throw that out there we would they would  already have mike she just jumped up hello cool and what is your name uh jasmine  jasmine where'd you get your dog from   um my sister she brought it  home and it looks like wishbone so she brought the dog so you didn't pay  no money for the dog that's the point right   that's what i'm saying right  there okay okay all right and uh and what kind of dog is it what kind of dog  is it ah it looks like wishbones i don't know   i have no idea what you're talking about right  now what is your dog's name coco that's what i'm   talking about right there that's what i'm saying  right there that's a black dog that is a black dog she don't know where it came from she don't  know what kind of dog it is just named it coco that is so awesome all right i'm gonna go one more brother i  need a black person with a dog one more i   want a brother with a dog a black purse  with a dog yeah my brother right there   right right you could yeah right boom  dario keep your hand up keep your hand up   yeah what's your name that's brandon brandon cool  cool what kind of dog do you have brenda i have a   pit mix pit mix that's what i'm talking about a  pit might okay and what is your dog's name coco when was the last time you saw your dog she don't even know when she seen that  dog last did coco look like a wishbone here's the thing here's the thing when you give  your dog a human name like marvin you spend more   money on a dog you at the vet talking about some  man it's like it's gonna be two thousand dollars   of fix marvin two thousand dollars for marvin  that's my buddy man no problem here you go   try this out it's gonna be fifteen hundred dollars  for peanut fifteen hundred dollars for a peanut   man you can keep that peanut man i'm  gonna get me another peanut somewhere else   i need that peanut man it's just easier to let go that was dope so that stuff never gets  old to me so i was doing a joke one time   right and i got to the point part where  i said i need a black person with a dog   right and uh no black people in a whole room had  a dog like nobody's real so i said um anybody used   to have a dog this brother raised his hand i was  like what happened to your dog he said he died   i was like well what happened and  for real he said he just woke up dead what are you talking about right now you just woke up dead so not too long ago i had a very interesting  conversation with this guy from grand rapids   michigan uh we talked for a while and then um  i found out he's actually a pizza delivery guy hey hey how's it going man yo what's up  bro good good good my name is lamark uh   currently um i'm a pizza delivery driver  to deliver pizza you have generous people   who gives you a nice tip and then other days  you have people who don't give a tip if you   have bills that's piling up you kind of bank on  going to work hoping that you it's a good day   there's moments you know when i'm delivering  pieces where i'll have a inspiration or an   idea that comes to mind i'm at work you know  i have to put in the time there to make sure   ends meet and then come home and you  know do what i love to do which is art there's three guys standing and one is sitting but  the reason he's sitting is he's actually missing   a leg three guys standing up their lines are in  shallow water but this guy sitting his line is   in deeper water pass hurts but it places you  in a better position to catch the larger fish   so listen there's a family that you  don't notice it's the day family   this is a picture of her son his name is brexton  he's special needs and he recently passed away   i've always known i wanted to help people you know  ever since i was a little boy so i have this art   ability and i have this desire to help people but  i haven't had the best opportunities to show my   love for art and my love for helping people come  together let me explain i ain't paying you fine so now i actually get to give you  know from something that i love to do so brexit and mckeely were born um three months  premature they would fit really in the palm of our   hands and just their little legs would hang off  they were tiny they were both actually diagnosed   with brain hemorrhages at about a week old and a  week later they took a second scan just kind of   normal protocol and mckeely was completely  and totally healed from that brexit not i really feel like we all have  kind of a primary instrument   that the lord uses to sort  of shape us and mold us and   physically was very limited mentally he could  light up a room you know just had the most joy   the brightest eyes you've ever seen and just  engaged everybody that he ever interacted with   we were just at this place where things  were just about to get better and um one   morning we just went into the bedroom and he  wasn't breathing and his heart wasn't beating   and called 9-1-1 and they came and they were able  to save his life but he was never the same after   that we're probably in and out of the hospital  maybe seven or eight times with pneumonia and   after about a three week battle there in  the icu he finally succumbed to pneumonia hey you guys i have somebody i want  you to meet this is lamar and um   he's a really great artist he heard about  your story and he has a gift for you that's pretty dope so uh i'm an early person i  don't know if there's any or any early people here   i'm an early person what time are you early what  time you get up 5 15. i was thinking 11 30. yeah   that's what i was thinking wow 5 15. early  people always got those sayings too it's   the early bird against the worm here's the  thing i don't even like worms yeah you get   up and have all the worms you want yeah yeah  i'm gonna get up later and have some sausage you ever listen to that saying you ever break  it apart it's the early bird against the worm   the worm got up early too  look what happened to him and then you got those people who love  to sleep they say stuff like there's   some weird sayings like i slept like a baby  i don't want to sleep like a baby you woke   up in the middle night crying wow um and  your bed was wet that's okay that's okay   yeah yeah i'm gonna sleep like  a grown man that's okay with you it's a lot of weird stuff people what  about this phrase you ever hear this phrase   boy i wish i could have been a fly on the wall  every time i hear somebody say that i walk up   to him and i say and then what no no no you  won't be a fly on the wall so you can hear   the information that was in the room well guess  what i did the research flies don't have ears yeah you'll be just as  ignorant as you currently are but you would be a fly nobody listens to a fly   all we do is try to slap them plus you got  two days to live you're making bad choices just walk off walk off another  thing is weird like michael jr   doesn't like it when people talk in a third person that stuff is creepy my neighbor steve does  it all the time i'm going to get the mail   and i hear steve say i hear him steve thinks  michael jr should cut his grass more often   so i'll talk to him in the fourth person i was  like oh yeah well somebody thinks michael junior   should tell steve to mind his own business he's  like why you say that i was like i ain't say it   somebody said it yo what about this phrase people  ask me this michael jr where you from originally   originally huh well uh i was conceived in  michigan yeah before that i was with my dad um and uh and then there's a swim competition right  and uh and i won which is crazy right because it's currently i don't swim at all oh man but  i used to be faster that was good mouse fast   i was fat man i don't know what  happened i don't know happened so i pay attention to what people say in their  language but sometimes i don't pay attention   to my own language here's what i mean i'm at  this restaurant in a dallas trash called babe   chicken they got some delicious delicious  chicken rub but they got these biscuits   that are amazing you get the little honey  and then you so i'm getting some biscuits   to go but they're out of honey so dude goes  to the back to get some honey right and i'm   sitting here and my pastor walks in i'm like  hey pastor robert what's up man he was like   hey michael what are you up to i was like oh i'm  just just waiting on a couple honeys man you know i'm not politically correct it's a lot of  work some people work hard to be politically   correct i don't even know where that stuff  got started at but they work hard i'm at a   coffee shop there's a white dude in front of  me he ordered a coffee right and the lady was   like how do you want it he looked back at  me and was like um african-american place i was like cool so i tried it i tried i was  like um all right all right let me let me   get the uh caucasian mocha can i get the  caucasian mocha no no there's no okay okay   i don't understand the political correction  it's just too much work i just think   from the abundance of their heart if you put  the right stuff in the heart the right stuff   will show up but some people work hard  at being listen i remember i remember   today i don't know if you remember this  or not but um i remember when i was black i remember being black i don't know  what happened man i miss it man um   one day i was black i went to sleep  i woke up i was african-american   i don't even know what happened i didn't get  an email there wasn't a meeting or anything   like i just woke up african-american  first of all that's too many syllables   you would never hear two black people calling  each other african what up african-american yo that's my african-american  right there african-american please   like it's just it's it's too many syllables um   i'm cool with being black like black goes with  everything i just want to put it out there it's a lot of work man paying attention to people  and stuff man so me and my team was out like we   were doing this big show right and uh uh some of  the team members we had dinner together right so   we're talking about language so check out what  happened so at dinner is akilah right and then   rachel who's indian it matters in the story then  my white friend scott was running late right   our waiter who's also indian um he's taking  our our order and i'm like okay so uh   i ordered a grilled chicken mainly because  i don't want perpetuate stereotypes um got the grilled chicken i got some mashed potatoes  then our waiter says would you like ice burgers i'm i'm sorry what what what'd you  say he said would you like asperger's i don't think i want asperger's man   do you have asperger's he's like yes i have  asperger's like man i'm sorry to hear that   man i just but i don't want any asperger's man i  looked at rachel she was like asparagus okay oh i still don't want any though i'm cool man  i'll probably never have him again actually   i used to like him man just then scott showed up  late i was like scott guess what he can get you   ass burgers scott was like what he was like yes i  can go into the kitchen and bring you asperger's   scott was like can we leave here why are  we here right now this stuff was hysterical so i gotta tell you about scott i'm gonna tell  you so listen i'm about to tell you guys this   story here's what's gonna happen about halfway  through about 5300 percent of this audience is   gonna laugh really really hard then i'm  gonna have to fill in the other 60 right guess you're a map genius too  ain't you you a map genius so halfway through y'all gonna laugh really hard  and i'm gonna fill everybody else in and then   we're gonna finish the story right so scott is my  boy we've known each other since like the third   grade white dude like he's one of my best like i  love that dude right only problem with scott is he   does practical jokes i don't do practical jokes  i just want to talk i'll be doing all that work but this opportunity fell into my presence i  had to take advantage of it so scott kind of   confided in me and he was attracted  to this black woman right and i was   like oh so you have mixed feelings okay  that's what i said that was funny anyway so he said he told me that he liked this black  woman i know the girl too she pretty she got long   hair i know she's pretty right uh tina right and  um and he said hey man i don't know how to tell   when a black woman is attracted to me and  i'm thinking it's the same as any other woman   but i can't say that because it's an opportunity so i was like all right scott scott so this is  how you can tell when tina and i know her she   pretty she got long hair right i said this is how  you could tell when she attracted her she'd give   you a signal she may not even know she giving you  a signal but she'll get a signal she might even   know it but you gotta be looking for it right  here's the signal when she's attracted to you   because i know her she pretty sure long hair  right so i said scott here's the signal she's   gonna give you when she attracted she's gonna  do something she's gonna do this right here it's about 53 right that's about 53 all right all  right let me let the other 70 percent in let me   know all right so here's what's going on here's  what's going on um tina has a hair weave okay and when her hair is she  can't scratch it like this   that's gonna mess up her whole hairdo  instead she gotta tap it like this scott don't know that though scott thinks  this means hey big boy come holler at me that's not what it mean so i said scott this  is what you got to do when she get a signal you   have to walk over to a real smooth you got to say  something like y'all say um hey girl i think that   we've got to go out right and then you give her  the signal back scott right but i said scott scott   you gotta say it real smooth though you gotta  say hey girl i think that weave gotta go out i just want to be there when it happened i  just want somebody to record it or something okay so i'm the type of person right i  love to give like i love love giving right   but i try to give what i should give i try to  never give out a compulsion or emotion right   you're like you ever seen them commercials  or wounded dogs please send this dog twenty   dollars i ain't getting that dog no money  he got a job yeah actor i see him on tv   i try to give when i should give i try  to never give out a compulsion or emotion   right so um so recently i met this family right uh  the richardson family i think we have a picture of   the richard since i think we have a picture of  him that's the richardson house beautiful family   look at the little boy between his dad's  legs he is doing too much right now right   beautiful family so let me tell  you about the richardsons right   um the richardsons have five biological kids  right and then they adopted two teenagers   and at the same time they were fostering  five siblings all under the age of seven   that's a group of kids then someone came along  and they wanted to adopt two of the five siblings   which means they would be split up and probably  never see each other again or the richardsons who   don't make much money at all they were fine with  stepping up getting additional jobs doing whatever   they needed to do and they adopted the five kids  which was awesome right but then someone came   along through some circumstance and um they stole  one of their vehicles now this really big family   is down to one vehicle and they sometimes  have to make like two trips to get places   and this is where i found out about it and i felt  like i was supposed to do something but i didn't   feel like i was supposed to just buy him a vehicle  i felt like i was supposed to do something more   so me and my family got together we prayed and  we came up with this idea to do a comedy show   fundraiser for the family but if i do a regular  comedy show fundraiser that is technically me   buying them a vehicle so what we did was we  printed up these tickets right and we went to   four of my events across the country and we told  people about the richardsons and we said to them   um hey you saw the richardsons and we got this  thing we want to do we want you to buy tickets to   a comedy show called the no-show comedy show they  was like well when is it i was like i don't know   i'm not gonna be there and people bought tickets i was blown away listen  now the richardsons have no idea we're doing this   because i didn't know if it was going to work  we didn't want to get excited get their hopes up   and listen the ticket buyers we didn't promise  them anything at all the back of the ticket   actually said you're buying a ticket to a show  that won't happen and this is not a tax deduction   we promised him nothing at all the only thing we  said we said if the family gives us permission   we'll share it we'll capture their story and  we'll share it with you that's the only thing   we said to them so i'm feeling like the vehicle  to get for this family is the nissan nv i don't   know if you've ever seen this before but it's a  big vehicle it could fit like the whole family   so we get some money together and we go  to the dealership and they have a nissan   mv and we got enough money for it but then  i also noticed that they had the nissan mv   well i'm the type of person i like to  give the same way i want to receive so i want the nissan mv where the dealership  found out what were doing and they bought   40 tickets for all their employees  to a show that would never happen so we got to get the nissan mv so then i go  over to the family's house to capture their   story they still have no idea we're working  out this deal and getting this vehicle from   they have no idea so go over their house  and i tell them the reason i'm there   is maybe we can i'm telling we're doing a  fundraising video for them so maybe they   can raise some money pay off some bills  right they have no idea what's going on   so go over their house and they're telling me  about these kids that they adopted and uh some   of the stories are really hard to hear because  the kids have been abused and it was just hard   for me to hear and i remember i needed a break i  was like hey can we just take a break for a second   and uh i remember going over by the kitchen  and they had a picture on the wall that they   had cut out of a magazine and it had been on  their wall for two years this is the picture that is a nissan envy they actually  rolled on top of it god is awesome   this is our car reach for your goals so so here's the thing we have the family's  vehicle not only do we have their vehicle we   now know we have their dream vehicle and the  family doesn't know it now all we have to do   is figure out a way to deliver it well i do comedy  delivery is what i do so we all go to their house   they're all piled in to watch the video but what  we really want to do is watch them watch the   video because in the midst of this i'm going to  sneak out go outside interrupt the video and it's   going to be me in front of their house introducing  them to their brand new nissan mv check it i know   you're in there sitting on the couch wondering if  this is actually a real live video well it is and   the reason i'm in front of your house right now  is because i would love it if you and your whole   crew and everybody else would simply just come  outside so you could see your brand new nissan mvp yeah that's all i'm saying   the cool part is your payments are only 400  a month so no it's completely paid for 100 this isn't a michael jr thing this  is about a family and people y'all   never met before heard your story we  decided to do uh comedy show fundraising   but there actually wasn't a show so people  all over the country my fans different places   got together and bought tickets to a show  that don't even exist so y'all got this   i don't know how to repay anybody  for doing something for me   and now you're in a position where you just  need to receive it i received i received so so i'd like to explain to you uh how life  works at least from a comedian's perspective   first there's a setup and then there's a punch  line see your setup is your talents your resources   and your opportunities and most of the time we  use our setup to ensure that the people around us   are moving in a direction that serves us which  means the punchline occurs when you change   that direction in a way they're not expecting  you actually use your setup for other people   the results are the same yet multiplied it's  revelation it's fulfillment and it's joy but   it's not just for the one receiving your punchline  it's also for you who get to deliver the punchline   as well if i ask the question what is your setup  chances are all of you would be able to tell me   because your setup is the fact  that you got a house you got a car   you your setup is about what you receive but what  if i ask you the question what is your punchline   because your punch line is about what you're  called to deliver and if you know your setup   which we all do but you don't know your punch line  you'll realize that something's missing and what   you'll try to do to fill that void is you'll think  you need more setup but what you really need to do   you need to know what is your punchline and please  understand just like me struggling my reading as a   child your setbacks are part of your set up so you  can deliver the punchline you're called to deliver   much like a slingshot the  further you've been set back   the further you're going to reach  but what are you going to aim for listen the three stories that i shared you this  evening are simply about people just like you   they've used their setup and their setbacks to  deliver their punchline to somebody that needed it   so we were in nashville doing a show and um  whenever i'm doing comedy i'm trying to listen   in between the jokes and what i'm listening  for is there's a question that i'm asking   and i'm asking the question what can i give to  this audience now what does this audience need   listen you have an audience too and you also  have jobs and careers and you also have some gaps   and if you would just simply start asking a  question what can i give to the people around me   it'll change the whole game so i'm in i'm in  nashville and i'm listening between the gaps doing   the jokes and i feel like i'm supposed to talk to  this lady who's in the front row off to the side   but the lady's deaf and i don't know sign language  but there's a sign language lady up there right i   mean i don't know only sign language i know is  i just that's all i got that's all i got right so i'm listening between the gaps and i feel  like i'm supposed to talk to this lady so   i asked a sign language lady i said hey can  you ask her to come up on stage please and uh   the whole crowd kind of froze like they don't  know what's going on she don't know what's   going on i don't know for sure what's going on  so i say hey can you just ask her to come up on   stage so she signs to her and a lady comes up  she's really really shy it's a white lady maybe   53 years old she comes up and then i said to  the sign language lady i said can you ask her   what is her biggest need and she signs over  it and she signs back and she says she she   doesn't have any needs she says she's okay i  was like i said ask her what is her biggest need   and then she signs back and  she says um she says well   her and her husband haven't been able to  go on vacation together in over 13 years   and they just need a weekend or something away  i was like okay okay now normally you would   just stop right there get some money and then  that we're done but no no i just asked the next   question i said why not and then she said well um  she did a sign language thing came back son and i   said she said well they have a special needs child  and uh they can't afford anyone who can take care   of the child in a way where they feel comfortable  and they can leave i was like okay so i turned   to the audience and i said uh i said where is  the special needs nurse who can deliver their   punchline and the room is silent they're still  in shock i'm in shock we all kind of tripping so nobody said anything then i said  where is the special needs nurse who   can deliver their punchline and you hear a  voice come from the balcony this lady says   here i am yo when this lady comes walking down and  we connect them and the whole room is done done   now if we would have just collected some money  nobody would even remember that story but somebody   showed up at their punch line ready to deliver  and somebody else was there ready to receive it listen i love you i appreciate you go deliver  your punchline thank you guys i love you yo i really hope you enjoyed this comedy special  we caught it more than funny because we wanted it   to be more than just funny i hope you understand  what we meant by that by now now remember if you   could please please share this special with as  many people as you can at least seven people   like you got at least seven people some of  y'all got some probably really big platforms   i don't want you to share it because of me i want  you to share it with the people because of them   like i really really mean that what i  mean by that is they have so much more to   offer now in addition to sharing this if you could  if you're interested don't forget we also have the   podcast which is called funny how life works  we got the course we got the book we got some   really really cool stuff that can help you go to  the next level in what it is you're called to do   so if you want any of those things by any means  go to the website use the qr code you can get it   but more than anything else what i want you  to understand is that you are more yeah you're   you're a mom who stays home with the kids you're  so much more your dad who goes to work you're so   much more than that you're a coach but you're so  much more than just that and if i can help you   understand that you're more if there's anything i  can do to help you in any way that's exactly what   i want to do and we're going to use laughter we're  going to have fun in doing so but regardless if   you never see me again i want you to understand  you have so much to offer this world don't let   anybody tell you anything different you're  amazing you are made awesomely and there's   something for you to accomplish you're here for  a reason there's a purpose that you're here and   i and we need you to accomplish it i appreciate  you so much. I love you. Thanks for watching.

Channel: Michael Jr.

Views: 754,637

Keywords: michael jr, christian comedian, Clean Comedy, Stand-up Comedy, stand-up, comedy that inspires, funny inspiration, Comedy, Michael jr., Dry bar, Funny

Id: f81swJDPgus

Length: 83min 37sec (5017 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 15 2021