Monologue: Florida Man | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

thank you ah happy people thank you i appreciate it you can uh i know it i love you too i know it's hard to breathe in those masks that looks like it will be ending soon we have a reopening date here in california june 15th will all businesses at full capacity as of june 15th and that's probably because we have california here the lowest coveted positivity rate in the entire country but still number one in herpes so don't get down so we are reopening and now comes the hard part thinking of something to tell all those people who you said you know i really want to get together when this is over some sad news i must report here from uh england uh prince philip queen elizabeth dude uh shockingly dead at 99. he died today yes he died as he lived peacefully in his sleep uh boy and i tell you bitter about that harry thing to the end his last words were i never bought megan merkel as a lawyer on suits [Laughter] so uh matt gates is in the news do you know matt gates that he's a republican huge trumper from uh florida if you don't know him show the picture because everybody knows no that's that's not the right picture show the real they do look a lot alike he always has that look oh sure the picture gets applause i mean all my hard work no that's matt always has that look on his face like eat it nerd but he's in big trouble if you heard this he's allegedly accused of sex trafficking sex with a minor and showing nude pictures to the other guys at work basically all the stuff you assumed would be going on if no one had brought this up in his defense his job title is florida representative now i this is but i tell you this guy did do some sleazy things that's not gay first of all he was allegedly giving ecstasy to these uh women and uh you know republican ecstasy i have to tell you is a little different oh good they're catching on faster now yes it is it's a lot you stay up all night hugging the flag and screwing poor people it's a little different so also the videos of nude women you know this is he had these he was showing them around he showed one of a nude woman with a hula hoop and lindsey graham said i have never seen anything like that also is that a hula hoop so different tonight okay so uh but apparently matt gates listened to this he asked before any of we knew any of this he asked the trump white house when fatso was still in office if he could have a blanket preemptive pardon as as innocent people do for any future crimes he didn't even specify just a blanket pardon and donald court donald trump today spoke out on this he said uh that is he said it is a total fake news story everybody knows that when i was in the white house all legitimate requests for pardons had to go through the kardashians and and and today it's in the news with matt gates that uh it was reported i don't know but that his associate in this endeavor with the young women uh is pled not guilty but is going to change it to guilty uh and probably testify against matt gates and say that matt gates listen to this use venmo to send 900 to this guy who then sent the money to the women which ironically is one of the only times that trickled down economics has actually worked um oh i can't i kid matt gates you know what i think he's uh he's i think he said about this he matt knows that traveling a 17 year old girl across state lines is wrong and he said he regrets it mainly because she played cardi b the whole way just he obviously didn't check if she had id thank god they didn't try to take her to vote there's a guy who gets it okay but you know there are scandals on on all sides uh the daily mail is reporting that uh biden's son hunter biden had his own pornhub account where he posted videos of him having sex with two women at the same time i got to say this as hobbies go i'll take this over trump's son's hunting endangered species how about that you

Channel: Real Time with Bill Maher

Views: 1,797,818

Rating: 4.7331252 out of 5

Keywords: Sen. Alex Padilla, Democrat, California, Secretary of State, U.S. Senator, Chairman, Judiciary Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, Border Safety, Heather McGhee, author, New York Times, bestseller, The Sum of Us, What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together, Board Chair, Color of Change, largest, online, racial justice organization, Reihan Salam, President, free-market, think tank, The Manhattan Institute, The Atlantic

Id: EhF3YdStoXA

Length: 6min 5sec (365 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 09 2021