Misgendering a Baby | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy

it's nice to be performing at what used to be my grandma's house [Applause] I'd be back in the old neighborhood this used to be a black community center like what you guys have done with the place oh if you we could see it now so proud I'm not arguing anybody in 2022 not doing it my stepdad tried it he was like he doesn't like using gender pronouns he won't use people's preferred pronouns he said I'm not going to call anybody a she just because they want to be called a she if you weren't born a woman I'm not going to call you she and I thought that was weird coming from a man who my whole childhood wanted me to call him dad [Music] you've never been a father like what are you like dude your pronouns is Steve's like that pronouns is my mom's beds like that people get upset about gender they do man this lady got mad at me because I misgendered her baby we're in a long line and said hey she dropped her Binky she was like you mean his binky he's a boy it's obvious he's a boy he's wearing blue boys wear blue and the best thing about this conversation is she had on the blue cardigan so I was like you know what you're right sir I apologize I mean to ruin this father-son moment he didn't like that one bed very upset about that he tried to hit me but I was wearing a pink shirt I was like you can't hear the lady no no no no [Laughter] people get mad man when I get it as a parent I don't know this you know that's like really protective of your kids parents have a hard job because you have to prepare your kid for the future you want them to have and the future they're going to have and I witness that it's real like I wouldn't have said I was at my sister's house and my niece came home crying she was hysterical because some little boy at school called her a and I you know my instinct was like to protect her in that moment like yo like you are a young woman a beautiful young woman no man should ever disrespect you but like in reality it's like I want to be like we live in the hood you got Tough Enough it's been a long rough road ahead of you okay I called your mama on the way over here you got that 50 I need you gotta toughen up man you know cause like where I'm from man I'm like when we say Benji just means hello fair lady like it just means ain't no big deal oh man we just get through the day now I don't live in the hood no more I live out in Silver Lake you laughed because yeah you know I don't belong in the I'm only wearing these glasses so white people trust me [Music] like these glasses are the equivalent of when like white women put bandanas on pit bulls like this is Oliver like these laughs give them a puppuccino like that this is this for me tired of Silver Lake man because to me I sound pleasant when I go to order my coffee and snacks I'm like hi can I please have a school day here frighten them everything I do I frighten the out of a man that's rough but that's all like you know take a lot of Xanax now so I could chill out especially on flights I get them I get afraid of flights like when I'm flying I gotta take a Xanax to calm down but I had a real terror Scare at the airport and I reported somebody who I perceived to be a terrorist I didn't want to do it but I had to do it I felt like my life was in danger sitting next to me was an Arab dude with a big turban and a big long Osama Bin Laden beer and I leaned over to him I said hey man don't panic but there's a middle age that's going to a white man foreign my brother I said yes we should report him immediately [Music] Arab dude was cool as his name was Ted we bonded it was great man he wasn't nervous at all I said Ted you was awfully calm he said I wasn't worried he said if he would have started something I'd use this bomb in my bag it was a bomb burrito have you heard nothing from this joke oh man I uh I'm gonna miss toxic masculinity I'm gonna miss it I feel like it's going to be in the museum one day you know it's going to be just collecting dust in the Attic one day you know tell my kids about it like it's gone I realized that because I had a a dispute with my homie that just it made me like a coil like I was disgusted at how we like had this disagreement because we're both in therapy and we're doing the work to be better people and it just made it oh I just ah it just was the worst all right I was like I got mad it got heated it got heated but you would never be able to tell I was like hey man you a ass and I'm only calling you that because culturally that's how I know how to express myself by using those type of words he was like man I hear you and I received that but like honestly like I think you can use a better choice of words but that could just mean projecting like I miss the good old days you know when men handle beef like men if you were mad at your best friend you got his wife pregnant that's how you handle it you got a cheating wife pregnant and you watch them raise your illegitimate son that's how that's how fathers did it it's best friend that's a real father don't bother with a 23and me foreign oh man people are bragging about the therapist now I didn't know that I didn't know it was levels to having therapists I thought you were just the if you had one you know like I didn't know now you had to like have fancy therapist my friend was like hey man what's your therapist go to school and I was like oh I ain't even ask her that I didn't even think like you and me like now I'm like paranoid I don't know how to like I've been out here dishing out therapeutic advice and like I don't want to be out here giving out the right level of eyes you know [Music] oh my my night school therapist I got one I'd rather use that from cash app you was talking about man the 400 lady I'd rather use her giving out weak ass advice cause I realized man like now like everybody like I my because my view of like with all this like recent developments through mental health I'm changing my view on a lot of things like I no longer believe autism is a disadvantage I believe autism is a superhuman advantage because like I saw a date and it just changed my whole world view it's a couple they met up it was love at first sight they fell in love immediately and they had cards they were reading in case they ran out of stuff to talk about on the date and on one of the cards it was named the three favorite things in the whole wide world and the young man named his it was Batman trains and chocolate milk three favorite things in the whole world and he asked the young lady if she liked his three favorite things and she answered honestly and said no he was devastated she named her three favorite things in the whole wide world asked him if he liked those she he answered honestly and said no and his heart was broken and do y'all know what they did they got up and left the date was over they said they goodbye they worked it up so my guess doesn't lie to each other just lying it was in that moment I realized this is why we call them disabled because people at autism have this thing where they can just be blunt and honest and straightforward meanwhile we lie and deceive and we're Machiavellian and we call that normative societal Behavior we're the sick ones right now you're here on a line it's going to unfold in a in a couple of years who are headed to doomsday because you were too much of a coward to admit you didn't like Batman to your white boyfriend you spent a year Watching Nolan films that you hated and it's gonna come out in a argument at a Red Lobster you cow all right that autistic Man became my hero became a hero because he had the courage to do what no man in here would do he ignored his heart and his dick and he looked deep in the eyes and he said if you don't like Batman you I'm here for it thank you [Music] thank you

Channel: Don't Tell Comedy

Views: 864,453

Keywords: stand up comedy, kiry shabazz, dont tell comedy, don't tell comedy, stand up, crowdwork, kiry shabazz stand up, secret comedy shows, stand up comedian, best stand up, comedy, best stand up comedy, funny, comedy videos, kiry shabazz comedian, kiry shabazz stand up full, funny video, comedian, stand up featuring, stand up videos, funny clips, best comedy, funny jokes, comedians, stand up comedians, standup comedy, stand up youtube, latest stand up comedy, humor, jokes

Id: eUi3zmhRf4A

Length: 11min 7sec (667 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 13 2022