Star Cheerleader / Star Bully | Shapel Lacey | Full Stand Up Set

[Applause] yeah what's up he was saying i ain't gonna do nothing y'all y'all gotta chill ain't gonna hurt you i'm crawling across you yeah there you go i'm crossing bro i'm not i like white people i'm not mad at y'all no i forgave you a long time ago i did when i was a little kid and yeah y'all made it difficult y'all did as soon as y'all came out with the foo fighters i was like okay yeah apology accepted all right this guy dave grohl amazing man i like i dig it plus i was adopted into a white family in my teens and no it's not the blind side all right chill the out not my story it was adopted in my teens man you know the one thing that cracks me up about white parents is uh their punishments who man get the out of here with that you gonna count at me dawg all right listen i didn't know what was going on i thought that was a game my adopted father he gonna come up to me hey hey hey hey hey one and i was like dude what we doing come and get me come here give me no go yo because you counted come and give me come and give me yeah cause you know i'll beat his ass what's up what's that dog yeah i know i'm 16 but i'm 250 homie meet me there no yeah yeah i'll take your wife and your kids man you better stop playing yeah this is my family now dog yeah yeah why don't you give me keys to the minivan bro i'm the keys to the dodge software he was so little just like you he was like five feet he was so little man i used to give him nookies all the time and sometimes i have to put his ass in the headlock he played too much i just grabbed him like that and he was like hey come on now what are you going to let me go when you stop waking me up for school homie i got this i'm 16. get out of my room yeah that's what my white friends taught me you can kick your parents out of your room it's crazy yeah all you gotta do is just stand your ground yeah i didn't know that yeah you just stand here and go get out of my room and they're like okay all right all right okay i'll leave i'll leave i'll get the door i'll get the door i'll go my wife taught me everything dude i'll be doing this i'm like my parents are so stupid look at my skateboard originally from arizona man so everywhere i go as a culture shock i've been traveling a lot man the midwest is different i never really been out there until recently you know and i knew it hit different as soon as i got off my flight and was at baggage claim i tried to help this lady out with her bag and she said uh uh i got this i'm a farm girl and i was like okay i don't even know what the that means huh what you with milk all right hell yeah okay you a bad all right i get it that's okay okay body yada yada yeah i get it okay that's cool she picked that up with strength she said okay i was like hell yeah girl do your thing man i know it's crazy bro life's just crazy in general my life's crazy man it is i reconnected with my biological father man recently yeah yeah it's dope it's cool he did 17 years in a prison he didn't do it you know according to him no that's what i hear y'all laughing that's what he told me he said i didn't do it i said i'm not a detective you know i'll let that case just chill where it's at dawg yeah attempted murder man 17 years [Laughter] also attempted murder finish the job dog what are you doing we're trying to get you a netflix doc homie you can't do that if you just attempt and murder stuff finish it whatever you got to do man come on man stop playing pops get it right dude get it right lane man yeah man he told me all these crazy stories you know all the prison riots he went through he got stabbed he's got a huge scar on his stomach man and then at the end of it all he told me he was a vegan and i was like you nerd what vegan i'm supposed to do that bro that's my culture you know i got the vegans and also in all reality i didn't call him a nerd because attempted murder and i just want this relationship to work out it's crazy 17 years man trying to think of something i did that long you know the longest thing i've ever done i did 12 years of competitive cheerleading yeah and i was and i was good at that and listen fellas y'all got to stop asking me that question like ah were you hooking up with all the girls man them girls man i'm trying to win championships homie come on man listen i don't give a damn how big jenna's titties are i need her to hit the pyramid jenna let's go be aggressive we spell it every day hey yo jennifer too all right coach kick her the off we need winners we need winners on this team run i don't know my watch well i didn't play man then the other question i get whenever i tell people i did competitive cheerleading i was like oh my god chappelle were you picked on were you bullied growing up being a male cheerleader did they hurt your feelings and i'm like who because let me tell you something let me tell you something i was the star cheerleader and the star bully of my high school nobody was messing with me anybody could get it glitter on my face at all tight pants and everything listen i would bedazzle on the regular with glitter homie you couldn't mess with me i call anybody out like what's up homie what you trying to do this what what what what what yeah dog now you're looking all glamorous homie yeah you a genie in a bottle [Laughter] anybody listen i would punk everybody but the people i would punk the most was the football team cause i took cheerleading serious and here's my thing if i'm gonna take the time to get all glittered up [Laughter] and do the splits for you dog and then i gotta shout your name you better score a touchdown i tell you that bro i ain't playing around dante i said defense when we do that i'm right here dawg right here man hey yo dante sucks coach keep him about golf i hated dante man he was trash bro gosh i hated that you know anytime i would cheer dante on i would just give him the evil eye and i look right across saturn and might be like go dante go dante go go dante go hey yo that's my time [Applause] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Don't Tell Comedy

Views: 903,076

Keywords: shapel lacey, dont tell comedy, stand up comedy, shapel lacey stand up, shapel lacey podcast, latest stand up comedy, stand up, best stand up comedy, comedy videos, comedian, best stand up, shapel lacey cheerleading, stand up comic, funny jokes, shapel lacey joe rogan, don't tell comedy, best comedy

Id: -pNolMvutIQ

Length: 9min 12sec (552 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 27 2022