How to Become A Magnetic Person

you know those people who are just likable those people who whenever you're with them you feel good about yourself so what is it about them what are they doing and it's not because they're any kind of special magical unicorn person it's because they are doing specific things they are being intentional about showing up in specific ways that naturally make them more likeable and magnetic people and so if earning what some of these things that they're doing is something that's interesting for you that you'd like to learn too I'm gonna teach you a bunch of them today so stay tuned this is a really good one if you're new to me and this is the first time we're connecting my name is Julia Cristina and I'm a registered clinical therapist a researcher a coach and the creator of the breakthrough coaching program I have a master's degree in counseling psychology and it worked to help heart center go-getter men and women breakthrough worry anxiety and self-doubt so that they can get out of their heads get into their lives and love their lives and these people who are more likeable and magnetic what is it that they are doing and what things what tweaks what kind of intentions can we make to up the game on our likable miss and magnetic Miss if that's a word I don't think it is but you know what I'm saying and so the first thing that we can do and simple as this is to be interested in other people actually show interest and ask interesting questions of them for no other reason that we like people who are interested in us we like people who are genuinely curious about us not in like a weird kind of creepy nosy way but people who ask us questions about different areas of our lives that we're interested in people who show an interest Wow can I say the word interest any more times but people who show an interest in the things in us personally and the things that we find interesting so asking questions being interested in showing the person that you see them that you value them that you think well of them just by showing interest it goes a long way the next thing is to look people in the eye and not in like a weird creepy like never break the eye contact kind of way and you maybe you've been in that situation or someone's been like staring at you and you're like oh that's a bit too much but having moments of eye contact and what that does is well especially in this world where everyone's like looking at where else looking at their phones and getting distracted and has a million things going on even just giving someone that attention by looking at them and every once in a while just looking at them in the eye and makes them feel seen now for some people who are a little bit more shy or maybe really introverted that might make them a little bit uncomfortable and so kind of gauging that and maybe not looking at them right in the eye quite as often but knowing that for a lot of people that really looking at them in the eye makes them feel really valued and you know I had a situation like this where it was a few years ago is actually at a training I was at a workshop with one of the creators of cognitive behavior therapy some of you might be familiar with that some of you won't some of you might have heard of David Burns dr. David Burns some of you might not have but I part of as a therapist and a coach I do a lot of CBT and I trained with one of the creators of CBT which is dr. david burns and i was at this training with him and he asked for a volunteer there was about a hundred people in this training and he asked for a volunteer to do an exercise with he was demonstrating an intervention yeah and I put up my hand because I'm just like why not you know learn by diving right in and he came over to where I was sitting at the table I was sitting at and he practiced this he did this actual like live real-time honest-to-goodness psychological intervention where I had to talk about a real situation that I was struggling with and that man sitting there he was just sort of sitting on the table looking at me and he looked me right in the eyes and he listened to everything that I said and you guys I have rarely felt that valued and see and heard as a human being and I'm like well that's why he's this master therapist and this like groundbreaking person in the field because of his brilliant in his research but also because of how he just makes people feel so good like he just makes people feel so valued and so seen and I like that was like a transformative experience in and of itself just to have this person really just listen and really just see me and really just it was like when I was in there having that conversation with him it was like the hundred other people in the room didn't even exist and that's how powerful it can be when we really pay attention to someone when we really look at them when we really see them another thing that we can do and this is really simple as well but it's amazing how many times we don't do it is to let people know that we like them I think sometimes we get a little bit of weird and we're like oh I don't want to tell them that I like them because maybe they don't like me but who cares if you like someone tell them that you like them and chances are they will like you back because we often again like people who like us and if they don't then move along as I was talking about in my other video and that one is about how to make friends as a grown up you know to just move along if someone doesn't seem as interested in being friends with you as you are with them it's okay to just move along until you find those people that are but it's also good that we let people know that we like them again people like to feel seen and valued and often times make makes us more likeable when people know that we like them we like people who like us it's not rocket science the next one is to let ourselves be imperfect to let ourselves show up authentically and it doesn't mean that we sit there and gripe and complain about all our problems all the time and air all dahl our dirty laundry to whoever will listen that's not what I mean by being authentic it I mean just letting ourselves be imperfect and open and honest and real but with boundaries right we're gonna have boundaries with that and I think most of us know that but we like people and people like people who are not perfect because none of us are perfect and we don't see ourselves in perfect people we see ourselves in the imperfections and so if we can just be authentic and real and admit went to our mistakes and even sometimes like lightly kind of make fun of ourselves not in like a self-deprecating way but in just sort of a little bit of like I don't take myself too seriously kind of way we like people like that and people are more likely to just like us if we're not being fake or phony if we're not trying to be perfect and if we have a bit of a sense of humor about ourselves which brings us to the next one and this is a really big one too is to point out similarities to point out things in common that again we like people who are not only like us but we like people who we don't like we don't always like people who okay we we like people who like us and we also like people who like the same things as us speaking of imperfect we like people who like the same things of us as us we like people who we have things in common with it doesn't mean that you can't never ever have like disagreements or discussions or like you know just challenge each other but more often than not finding things in common just makes people more likeable makes us like other people makes other people like us when we really point those things out and again it shows that person that we see them when we point out these like little details or these little things that we pick up on and we highlight them like if someone's to ever mention in a conversation about pride and prejudiced some of you might know the Jane Austen book called Pride and Prejudice that's been made into movies and several different formats and if someone and I were talking about Pride and Prejudice and that person's like oh I really like the A&E version I would be like you are my person anyone who's seen Pride and Prejudice who knows what I'm talking about are you an A&E version or a Hollywood version are you the genitalia version or the Kyra Knight version let me know in the comments section below and we can still be friends if you are the Cure and nightly version that's okay but if someone was to talk about that and found that we both really love the A&E version better I would be ecstatic would immediately draw me to that person and it would immediately just kind of make me like them a little bit more not to say that I'm not going to like you if you don't but pointing out these little things pointing out these little similarities it's also interesting because some of you might know you've seen the video that I've done with my friend Scott st. Marie who on YouTube is known as depression to expression the first time we connected in real time we had like a video call together and it was supposed to be just like a half-hour call to talk about doing a collaboration and two hours later we were like knee-deep in talking about psychological concepts and the human brain and how people work and all this emotional stuff and we had all this stuff in common and I remember at one point in the conversation he said to me I love how passionate you are about this stuff and you really know what you're talking about and whether or not I always do I mean you know I don't think anyone can know everything that's for darn sure and I sure don't but just having him point that out something that's really important to me and having that person point that out it immediately made like made me more drawn him it made me like him more and we've become we've become quite good friends from there and I remember saying to him in that same conversation I really like that you know your stuff and that we can have these deeper more complex tough conversations and that you're you love it as much as I do and so just pointing these different things out in people point out those similarities point out those points of connection and that will just automatically draw people to you and draw you to those people as well I mentioned this one already but just to go a little bit more into this is to not take ourselves too seriously that when we don't take ourselves too seriously it's a sign that we feel comfortable with who we are that we don't have to be perfect that we don't have to get it right all the time that we don't have to be you know polished and presentable that when we can just kind of laugh at ourselves when we can just sort of brush things off that it's a sign that we are comfortable with ourselves and people like being around people who are comfortable themselves it's not rocket science people feel comfortable with people who are comfortable with themselves and oftentimes people who can just sort of laugh at themselves are pretty comfortable with themselves they don't take things so seriously and then another one and this is a huge one and this is a huge mindset shift just going through life in general if you could make it your mission and your mantra and your intention every day to show up in life assuming that people liked you just assuming that they liked you assuming that you were a likeable person it's gonna change how you show up you're gonna be a lot more open and honest and authentic and a lot less protected and guarded and fearful and so if you just assume that people like you and maybe some really do and maybe some don't but it doesn't really matter because no matter what no matter who you are what you do or what do you have going on some people are gonna like it and some aren't but it will change how you show up it will change how you feel about yourself if you just assume that people like you which one of these really stuck out to you which one of these really connected with you which one of these are you gonna make it your intention to follow through with after we finish our time together here I would love to know let me know in the comment section below and let us know as well what things do other people do that make them really like about what makes you drawn to someone let us know those specific things in the comments so that we can share the wealth and and learn more and yeah just really kind of connect with some of these concepts I also have a download for you it's called my five favorite healthy reminders and these are things that I remind myself of that I actually like take out and look at and read through and go through and I'm kind of feeling a little bit off or if I'm just feeling in a bit of a funk and a lot of times it really helps to try to switch my mindset to turn things around and make me feel more comfortable and confident in myself again so you can grab that download it's in the comments herb yeah it's in the description or the comment section it's in the description below I am always so glad to have you here let me know your thoughts on this would love to hear and if you know of anyone who would find this video useful please do share it out and if you do let me know in the comment section cuz I would love to be able to specifically thank you for that and like the video if you liked it I would love it if you could give it a like and if you haven't already subscribe to the channel because obviously we need to stay connected and you can come in join my facebook group as well good for me group com until next time take good care

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 43,269

Rating: 4.9547467 out of 5

Keywords: Vanessa Van Edwards, Alpha M., julia kristina, Apollonia Ponti, how to become more likeable, be more likeable, how to make people like you, how to become a likeable person, how to be charasmatic, how to get people to like you more, how to draw people to you, FarFromAverage, how to attract anyone, how to be the most likeable person, julia kristina likeable, become a magnetic person, how to become magnetic

Id: YrveoEIJc_g

Length: 13min 59sec (839 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 10 2019