Mid-Day News - SNL

>> ALL RIGHT, WELCOME BACK TO WAMU MIDDAY NEWS. >> COMING UP, THE MAYOR'S OFFICE ANNOUNCED A BOLD NEW PLAN TO REVAMP THE CITY'S INFRASTRUCTURE. >> AND IT'S ABOUT TIME. BUT FIRST, YET ANOTHER GAS STATION HAS FALLEN PREY TO AN ARMED ROBBERY. A SHELL STATION IN THE 4,000 BLOCK OF PULASKI HIGHWAY WAS ROBBED AROUND 11:45 A.M. THIS MORNING MAKING THAT A TOTAL OF 7 GAS STATIONS TO BE ATTACKED IN THE LAST WEEK. >> SHEESH. SCARY STUFF. >> AND WE'RE TOLD THE SUSPECT REMAINS AT LARGE. BUT AUTHORITIES BELIEVE THAT THEY NOW HAVE A CREDIBLE DESCRIPTION OF THE PERP. THE SUSPECT DESCRIBED AS A WHITE MALE. >> WOO! >> LOVE IT! LOVE IT! [ LAUGHTER ] >> SORRY, WHAT ARE YOU CELEBRATING? >> OH, NOTHING. WE'RE JUST GLAD THAT WE KNOW WHAT THE CRIMINAL LOOKS LIKE. [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE AIN'T ONE OF US. >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING? >> ANYWAY, THE SUSPECT -- >> WHITE GUY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WAS LAST SPOTTED FLEEING THE SCENE ON FOOT. SO ANYONE WITH INFORMATION IS ASKED TO CONTACT THE MPD IMMEDIATELY. >> YES, HELP US CATCH THIS WHITE CRIMINAL. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> IN OTHER NEWS, A PONZI SCHEME HAS SHAKEN SOME OF MIAMI'S WEALTHIEST RESIDENTS. >> OKAY, THAT'S ONE OF Y'ALL'S FOR SURE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> CLEMET SMITH OF CLEMET SMITH INVESTMENT SECURITIES IS ACCUSED OF COMMITTING THIS EGREGIOUS WHITE COLLAR CRIME. >> IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME. >> SMITH IS SAID TO HAVE BEEN OPERATING A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR PONZI SCHEME. >> NOW YOU KNOW BLACK PEOPLE AIN'T GOT THAT KIND OF MONEY. >> HE WAS ARRESTED THIS MORNING IN BOCA RATON. AND LOOK AT THAT. HE'S BLACK. [ LAUGHTER ] >> REALLY, WHAT? >> OKAY, SO I GUESS WE TIED. [ LAUGHTER ] ONE OF OURS FOR ONE OF YOURS. >> THIS IS RIDICULOUS. NO ONE'S KEEPING SCORE. OKAY. WE HAVE AN UPDATE ON THAT TROPICAL STORM WE'VE BEEN TRACKING. LET'S HEAR FROM WAMU WEATHERMAN DENNIS JONES. DENNIS? >> THANKS, PAM. WE'VE BEEN PREVIOUSLY CALLING A TROPICAL STORM. IT'S NOW UPGRADED TO A CATEGORY 4 HURRICANE, AS YOU SEE HERE, DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH WITH INCREDIBLE HIGH WINDS. WE'RE CALLING THIS ONE HURRICANE CHET. AND THAT'S A WHITE MAN'S NAME IF I EVER HEARD ONE. >> I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. >> THAT MAKES TWO OF Y'ALL, ONE OF US. WE IN THE LEAD, BACK IN THE GAME. GANG GANG. >> GANG GANG. [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO WAY. THAT DOES NOT COUNT. HURRICANES ARE NOT WHITE. >> UNLESS THEY'RE NAMED CHET. >> CAN WE MOVE ON FROM THIS PETTY GAME, PLEASE? >> BECAUSE Y'ALL LOSING. >> OH, HOW CONVENIENT. >> LET'S JUST GET BACK TO THE NEWS. A FT. LAUDERDALE MAN WAS APPREHENDED OUTSIDE OF A -- CRACKER BARREL. >> MHM. KEEP GOING. [ LAUGHTER ] >> -- FOR CUTTING BRAKE LINES ON A DOZEN BIRD-SCOOTERS. >> YOU KNOW ONLY WHITE PEOPLE GOT THAT KIND OF TIME. >> OKAY. YEAH. SO HE'S WHITE, SO WHAT? >> SO NOW WE'RE DOWN TO ONE. >> NOT LOOKING TO GOOD FOR Y'ALL TODAY. IN OTHER NEWS, A SHOPPER WAS APPREHENDED BY SECURITY AT OCEANSIDE MALL FOR ASSAULTING A MAN WHO STEPPED ON HIS AIR JORDAN'S. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, I'M SORRY. DID YOU SAY AIR JORDAN'S? >> OH, THAT'S BLACK FOR SURE. >> DAMN. >> I KNEW IT. >> I KNEW IT AS SOON AS I SAW IT. >> RIGHT. >> OKAY. AND HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? >> A LOCAL WOMAN ATTACKED A CASHIER AT A NAIL SHOP AFTER THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HER WELFARE CARD. >> OH, MY LORD. [ LAUGHTER ] >> POLICE SAY THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A 19-YEAR-OLD WHITE -- DAMN IT! [ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT'S THREE, BABY! >> OKAY. OKAY, WE'LL GET THAT BACK. >> ALL RIGHT POLICE --POLICE SAY A LATINO MAN -- >> SKIP THAT ONE. [ LAUGHTER ] HOW ABOUT THIS? HOW ABOUT A MAN ON A ROCK CLIMBING TRIP WAS MAULED BY A BISON FOR THE SECOND TIME IN THREE MONTHS. SEE, Y'ALL DON'T LEARN. Y'ALL DON'T LIKE TO LEARN. >> JUST KEEP READING. >> THIS INCIDENT HAPPENED IN THE UTAH NATIONAL STATE PARK. >> NOT LOOKING GOOD. >> THE FAMILY OF THE MAN NOW IDENTIFIED AS LAQUAN TANKIN. BABY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> WHAT AN UPSET. >> I MEAN A LAQUAN? ROCK CLIMBING? IN UTAH? [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT. NEXT ONE TAKES THIS. A MAN DRESSED AS THE JOKER -- DAMN IT! [ LAUGHTER ] >> WOO! >> GOOD GAME. GOOD GAME.

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 4,999,931

Rating: 4.9141016 out of 5

Keywords: snl, saturday night live, snl season 45, snl 45, phoebe waller-bridge, alex moffat, chris redd, kenan thompson, ego nwodim, channel 7 news, local news, news, race, s45, s45e2, episode 2, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, actor, musician, fleabag, Killing Eve, Crashing, Solo, Star Wars, Taylor Swift, Lover, false god, you need to calm down, Look what you made me do, Me, Reputation

Id: NGqtZmShIkw

Length: 4min 49sec (289 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 05 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Burturd]

Lmao when they brushed aside the Latino

[u/NinetiesOn9]

Love the emphasis on the “B” in “rock climBing!”

[u/UltimateFatKidDancer]

The Joker button at the end was flawless.

[u/[deleted]]

[removed]

[u/redfredsawasses]

Any mirrors of this?

Didn't know how streamable.com worked.

Amazing.

Here: https://streamable.com/5rggd

[u/atleastitsnotgoofy]

Lakwon, what is you doing baby?

[u/Bikinigirlout]

This was amazing. I lost it during this sketch. I loved it when the weatherman started keeping score and they got totally into it.

This could have backfired so easily and became really offensive but they made it so funny.

My favorite one was the joker one. “He was wearing a joker-damn it!”

[u/SBXM]

I feel like the news stations would have record breaking ratings if they presented reports like this for the week. I'd be watching for sure

[u/[deleted]]

I absolutely love Phoebe's American accent.