>> ONE FINAL QUESTION, MR.
MILLER, AND I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN A DIFFICULT EXPERIENCE TO
RELIVE. >> IT HAS.
>> DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE IN ANY WAY AT FAULT FOR WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BEING EATEN?
>> OF COURSE NOT. ALL I KNOW IS THAT I MISS THEM.
>> ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT HE MISSES THEM.
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. >> YOUR WITNESS.
>> THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR. ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT HE MISSES
THEM, AND THAT MIGHT BE TRUE, BUT THAT IS NOT WHY WE ARE HERE
TODAY. WE ARE HERE TO DETERMINE WHETHER
MY CLIENT, JURASSIC PARK, THE BEAUTIFUL ISLAND FULL OF
REAL-LIFE DINOSAURS, IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF
MR. MILLER'S FRIENDS AND FAMILY, WHEN ALL THE DINOSAURS GOT OUT.
AND I SAY NO. >> WELL, I SAY YES.
>> YOUR HONOR, PERMISSION TO TREAT THE WITNESS AS HOSTILE?
>> NO, MAN. DEFINITELY NOT.
>> SO, MR. MILLER, JURASSIC WORLD SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY YOU
MONEY, EVEN THOUGH YOU AGREED TO WAIVE ALL RIGHTS TO SUE THE
PARK? >> WHAT?
NO, I DID NOT AGREE TO THAT. >> EXHIBIT "A," MR. MILLER,
COULD YOU PLEASE READ THE INDEMNIFICATION ON THE BACK OF
YOUR VIP ALL-ACCESS RAPTORS PASS.
>> WELL, I CAN'T READ IT. IT'S COVERED IN MY FRIEND,
SCOTT'S, BLOOD. >> WELL, THEN, MOVE YOUR FRIEND,
SCOTT'S BLOOD AROUND WITH YOUR FINGER, UNTIL YOU CAN READ IT.
I MEAN, REALLY, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SYSTEM?
>> GET OUT OF MY FACE. >> IT SAYS JURASSIC WORLD IS NOT
RESPONSIBLE FOR LOST OR DAMAGED ITEMS.
>> LOST OR DAMAGED ITEMS. LIKE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
>> WELL, I DON'T CONSIDER MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ITEMS.
>> OH, BUT THE LAW DOES. >> LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT THE
LAW DOES NOT. >> ALL RIGHT.
LET ME ASK YOU THIS, MR. MILLER, DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME AT
JURASSIC PARK? >> UH, NO, IT WAS THE SINGLE
WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. >> PLEASE DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION
TO THE MONITOR. THIS IS AN INSTAGRAM STORY
POSTED BY MR. MILLER ON THE DATE IN QUESTION.
>> WHAT'S UP, INSTAGRAM. WE'RE AT JURASSIC WORLD RIGHT
NOW. WHAT UP!
>> WAIT, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP.
STOP. SURE SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE
HAVING FUN TO ME. GOOD TIME, LIAR.
>> REQUEST PERMISSION TO SHOW THE REST OF THE VIDEO.
>> YOUR HONOR, I DO NOT SEE WHY THAT WOULD BE RELEVANT IN THIS
CASE. >> PERMISSION GRANTED.
>> WHOO! >> WHO EVEN KNOWS WHAT IS
HAPPENING THERE? I MEAN, REALLY.
>> THAT'S HIM AND HIS FRIENDS GETTING EATEN BY THE DINOSAUR.
I'M SORRY, I KNOW I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO WEIGH IN, BUT THAT'S
WHAT IT IS. >> SPECIFICALLY, A T-REX GRABBED
MY FRIEND RACHEL AND SWALLOWED HER WITHOUT BITING LIKE YOU
WOULD TAKE A TYLENOL. >> OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR.
THE T-REX IS A GOOD GUY NOW. IT IS CONSISTENTLY SAVING THE
DAY. SUSTAINED!
>> COUNSELOR, YOU CAN'T SUSTAIN YOUR OWN OBJECTION.
CONTINUE, SIR. >> YEAH, AFTER THAT, A FLYING
DINOSAUR, THE LONG-NOSED LANDED ON MY BROTHER AND HE ATE MY
BROTHER'S FACE. AND ONE OF THOSE BIG NEW
GENETICALLY ENGINEERED ONES THAT YOU GUYS MADE WITH LIKE THE
GIANT CLAWS -- >> YEAH, THE CYCLOSAURUS, YES.
>> YEAH, THAT GUY CAME IN AND HE ATE THE DINOSAUR THAT ATE MY
BROTHER. >> HMM, "HE" ATE MY BROTHER.
"THAT GUY" CAME IN. AND YET, MR. MILLER, MAY I
REMIND YOU AND THE COURT THAT ALL DINOSAURS AT JURASSIC PARK
ARE FEMALE. YOUR HONOR, THE WITNESS HAS LIED
UNDER OATH. I DECLARE A MISTRIAL, BECAUSE
MR. MILLER'S CREDIBILITY IS EXTINCT.
HA-HA! THIS COURT IS ADJOURNED!
>> WELL, THE COURT IS NOT ADJOURNED, BECAUSE THIS WAS NOT
A MISTRIAL. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE
JURY, YOU WILL NOW BEGIN DELIBERATIONS TO REACH A
VERDICT. >> WE HAVE REACHED A VERDICT
ALREADY. WE ALL JUST KIND OF LOOKED AT
EACH OTHER AND NODDED. WE FIND THE DEFENDANT, JURASSIC
WORLD THEME PARK GUILTY OF CHARGES.
THEY GOT TO LEARN, THE DINOSAURS ALWAYS GET OUT.
>> THAT THEY DO! THAT THEY DO.
>> I SEE. WELL, I GUESS THAT'S LUNCH,
THEN. >> IS THIS A DINOSAUR EGG?
>> WELL, YES. YOU THINK THIS IS OKAY TO EAT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Donald almost breaking Keenan was the best. "As you can see his credibility is 'extinct'. Haha!"
I will say, I do wish the Derrick Comedy guys would have made an appearance at some point, but we can't have everything, I guess.
I could watch a whole movie of just Kenan and Donald doing back and forth together.
That was an aggressive water pour
Mirror
this honestly felt like a derrick comedy sketch and i loved it
I thought he was about to eat the egg like Teddy Perkins.
How did he make himself pouring water into his glass the funniest shit I’ve seen all week?
Is the witness the dude from the David Blaine YouTube skits?
Mirror?