memes that make you laugh (maybe)

yesterday i explained something so bleak to my therapist she asked me if we could pause for a minute so she could think about it i'm getting close to winning therapy i can feel it in my bones [Music] hey hey hey what's going on ladies and gents welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash me irl that's it that's the tweet let's get into it 11 p.m 2 a.m 5 a.m nine minutes before my alarm every day and it doesn't matter what you're doing the following morning it's gonna suck 21 year old americans who just started drinking 14 year old europeans already giving up on alcohol you guys all right the only time i feel like i'm truly alone with my thoughts is during those three minutes when it's too soon to join the zoom meeting but too late to start doing anything else my ability to disassociate has become too powerful now i'm just watching the fall of america like yeah that happens to empires well i look for dog hats on amazon let them eat cake parents be like what you do in your room all day i'm avoiding you what are you talking about rethink your weekend instead of fried foods and beer you could have a hard liquor and salad why was there always a bite taken out of these mofos popular dog toy i guess i couldn't tell you as an adult i always forget that i can literally get in my car and buy a cake whenever i want and no one can stop me yeah i do that at least once a day i've gained a lot of weight cat sits on my head shoves her butthole in my face bites my foot stretches out across my chest puts her whole face on my dinner jumps up onto my lap when i'm on the toilet me touches one toe bean first of all how dare you not respect my personal space you're the ceo of your life i'm tired of being the ceo of a bankrupt corporation i want out where's the board of directors to fire me grocery sure doesn't feel cheaper than eating out i don't think it is actually the class system in america is never been to disney went to disney once or twice and goes to disney annually it's funny i'm pretty poor but i go to disney annually florida man fakes death for 20 years he learned he was never wanted by the cops huh then he truly was free my dreams be like you seem stressed would you prefer to lose all your teeth tonight or return to high school teeth are overrated anyway me once shame on you fool me twice that's just [ __ ] up you know i'm dumb as hell like come on dude that is great but can we talk about that i funny watermark ben affleck is one of those people who just cannot work period dramas at all he has a face that knows about emails ain't that the truth i just witnessed a woman pull out her ringing phone from her purse she loudly sang along with the ringtone to the very end then this woman slipped her phone right back into her bag she never answered it this is the energy i'll take into the rest of the year i won't that sounds really annoying anyone know hey guys how much longer can i pretend to know what engineers do like i have no clue what engineering even means my dad's an engineer he just goes to work and comes back i don't know what do you guys do this sounds like a joke tweet but i'm genuinely baffled by people who can tell the difference between a good movie and a bad movie ninety percent of the time i watch a movie and think i had fun watching a movie yeah isn't that cool and that really really cool i can tell the difference between good and the bad right i can but for the most part i'm just there to enjoy myself dude doctor do you exercise me oh yeah i do all of them push-offs plonks crunchies i'm gonna put no okay you look familiar lmao shut up no i don't i'm always at home doesn't mean your face can't look like someone else's we'll never understand people's fascination with their ancestry isn't knowing your current family bad enough oh yeah but at least we don't have to personally know our ancestors big fan of this picture of a vet showing a cat how fat he is oh he needs to know when i'm behind a slow car i steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it's not my fault luckily my car is small enough i don't even need to worry about that they can already tell it's not my fault if you're trying to impress me with your vehicle it better be a food truck oh can you imagine getting picked up for a date and the guy owns a food truck so he just drives it up and you have a date at his food truck right in front of your house dude rad the most unbelievable part of the bible is a 32 year old man with 12 close friends and then one betrays him right i can't remember me wakes up please don't be 7am please don't be 7am please don't be 7am 3am oh baby time to go right the hell back to sleep me googling everything after watching a movie based on true events you gotta see just how loosely based it truly was hi grandma can you come pick me up for my rap battle it's over no i lost he saw you drop me off and did a pretty devastating rhyme about it damn that is an old tweet me wanna hang out my friend yes me and my friend hanging out toad sat and did nothing frog sat with him what's wrong with a little bit of silence and chilling dude me too bag me too you know this one just kind of hurts me kind of hurts my feelings you know people who say go big or go home seriously underestimate my willingness to go home like it's literally my only goal you ever call your dog and they huff like you're getting on their last nerve you're probably annoying them a little bit it's fine me i'm depressed dog what's depressed it's when everything feels like like hungry sorta but it's constant like hungry when the teacher asks if you have any questions but you just sit there in silence because you don't even know what you don't even know i have always hated that does anyone have any questions 35 seconds of silence later one kid has to answer for the whole class no we're good can you imagine how hot i'd be if i ate right and took care of my body i'm not gonna do it but can you imagine um no i don't know what you look like me training a new person at my job so you're not really supposed to do this but this is what i do yeah dude there are some rules that are dumbest to make things harder i don't know how to deal with serious emotions without turning them into a joke if i don't turn it into a joke it will consume me i guess this batman sculpture was made out of just ice i do hate you i've gone so many years without physical contact that at this point i think someone tenderly holding my hand would kill me like how a flavor-blasted goldfish would kill a medieval peasant i wonder if it would actually kill them makes you think right obese 100 year old crocodile dies from overeating after worshippers keep throwing at chickens and goats for good luck this is the way i want to go a hundred goddamn years old a video makes you laugh i don't give it where it's from dude if it's funny it's funny man p b d and q are the same letter and no one talks about it yeah right up until they become uppercase dude me looking at myself on facetime while the other person is talking no i can't relate i look like you ever have a dream so realistic that you wake up mad because it was all fake oh those are my absolute least favorite i'll take nightmares every day before i take another one of those dreams things strict parents think they're teaching you how to behave what they're actually teaching you how to listen for footsteps how to appear busy how to manipulate someone into calming down and how to lie on the spot someday we'll have a generation of parents that are genuinely good i can't believe the heat from the sun traveled 150 million kilometers just to melt my chocolate bar yes the sun's entire existence was to melt your chocolate bar it's not all about you susan when people are discussing world events but you ain't seen a meme about it yet what are these people talking about what are you talking about why do parents get mad when you sleep all day i'm staying out of trouble and i'm not spending your money like what's the issue here so you're a morning person no oh so you're a night owl nah middle of the day then also no 1940 i bet there will be flying cars by 2021 2021 ah the pre-cracked egg saves time no messy hand i enjoy ah lol oops oh i've made an irreversible fatal error yep when you have it caught coban and you realize not even a global pandemic wants you hey that hurts man that hurts i love how i pay for unlimited calls and talk to no one isn't it cool man my uncle just sent a message in the family group asking for money i privately messaged him asking for banking details so i could deposit him he responded saying he doesn't actually need it he asks for money so that nobody will ask him for money what a true g when i grow up i'll be an amazing and cool person me at 30 years old yeah the world gets you man on my way to pettycat that clearly wants to be left the cologne always work on two projects at once that way you can procrastinate on project a by messing around on project b and when you get tired of b you can waste time by working on eight you'll be twice as productive while doing nothing but procrastinate i'll post a selfie looking the best i've ever looked and someone will be like thank you for promoting realistic beauty standards this is why i don't post photos of myself very often woman in the library asked to borrow my charger she used it for an hour or so and then told me thanks add me on facebook and literally guided me looking at my laptop over my shoulder to her profile i sent a request because it felt awkward not to and now i see she rejected the request oh damn what does that say now this is what i call news dog travels more than a hundred kilometers to bite its owner after being abandoned damn first five minutes in the museum wow this artist was born in amsterdam in 1927 but didn't start experimenting with clay until 55 in america the mound represents guilt and shame i can see that last five minutes in the museum glances into new room i get it millennials are so spoiled and entitled millennials is it rude to ask if my employer pays me damn the boomers and gen xers really [ __ ] us up starts playing on phone during a show mrs important scene rewinds way too far by mistake gets back on phone while waiting for the scene misses the scene again just watch the [ __ ] show another day of staring at the big screen while scrolling through my little screen so as to reward myself for staring at the medium screen all week life is worth a living me writing my papers for finals sometimes i'll start a sentence and i don't even know where it's going i just hope i find it along the way i had to interpret for this deaf guy on my flight because the attendant brought him the wrong drink and he signed to me tell him how hard can rum and coke be he's a idiot i signed do i have to say that he said he deserves to know the truth [Applause] it's weird how everyone's house has a different smell yet you don't know what your own house smells like oh i do and i don't like it the sentence in my mind literally the same sentence when i try to say it out loud look it's hard okay words are difficult me and hell i was told there would be a special place for me me logs out of steam steam okay tries to log back in i've never met this man in my life steem you need to make it a little bit simpler for people to douche with their own profile have you ever been so stressed that relaxing makes you more stressed because you're not working on what's making you stressed man the five to seven day eight hour a day work week really does have us completely [ __ ] up huh it's awesome netflix watch this show me no please fine wow i loved that please make more nah it sucks i hate seeing those surround yourself with people who post like sake i've got about two friends i couldn't surround myself with people even if i tried why yes i would like to adopt a tiny semi-feral animal with a lifespan at just a fraction of my own and then make its continued survival the linchpin of my mental health oh child brings up trauma to parents parents that never happened i don't remember that which will be like wait omg do you want to hear a funny story tells a traumatic event they don't realize is traumatic you ever spell a word right but that look weird to you oh dude i think 90 of the words i type out on twitter are just well they're not right when you're clocking at nine work for seven hours and then realize it's only 9 30. i guess i'll die then if you ever feel like just remember courtney cox's hair and scream three wow what the f not cool bro you may be old but are you this old yes yeah i am i am that old windows xp was the best and nothing will ever top it i don't think i've told anyone no as much as i've told youtube i don't want to try youtube premium don't worry they'll wear you down eventually they always do what a lovely note to end today's video on folks before we get going though we gotta take a look at today's fan art don't we of course we do no better way to practice drawing hands and show appreciation for a channel thanks for the laughs my friends hey that's actually a fantastic hand it looks like we have powers we didn't even know we had always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video to consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and hey if you want to see more of yours truly you can check out the links in the description below and until next time we'll be seeing you you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 336,267

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes

Id: _vEL3F2QZas

Length: 13min 24sec (804 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 01 2022