it's for you mum. who is it?
didn't say. says it's personal well you should have told them to ring back.
you know it's my day for the hospital stupid girl. Dame Lettie Colston here. who is this? VOICE: remember you must die. ah Taylor did you have a nice afternoon at the pictures? there is no Taylor here.
pull yourself together. come and get warm Godfrey dear. Lettie had another of those
extraordinary phone calls I've asked her to come and
stay with us for a day or so. - oh dear.
- it's damn worrying I had a phone call
the other day that young man from the papers who
wrote those thrilling things about my books. that was five years ago thank you Taylor. that is not Taylor that is our
housekeeper mrs. Anthony Taylor is in the hospital has been for the past year hospital? - I must go
- no now now my dear Charmian don't be so silly. you know perfectly well you're not up to
going anywhere besides from what Lettie says she
probably won't remember you - and she never even mentions my name?
- never. I know how fond you were of her Taylor but I'm afraid Charmian has gone
quite gaga. such a trial for my poor brother. I've told him she'd be far better
off in a private nursing home mr. Godfrey'd be heartbroken. still I
suppose if she's that bad - Bob's your uncle.
- I beg your pardon we are
having a private conversation - and how are our bowels today granny Wallis?
- Fanny's your aunt. [laughs] that'll be enough from y
ou granny Barnacle. or someone else will be
getting an enema. must they address you
as granny all the time? well I expect they find it easier I'm sure I've seen that woman somewhere.
perhaps she used to sell newspapers at the
Elephant and Castle. I have never been to the
Elephant and Castle in my life. no but you were a prison visitor for many
years dame Lettie. do you mean - Oh surely they don't allow people
like that in here! - this is a national health hospital.
- well that's no excuse. I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut
them out of my will. have you heard any more from your
mysterious telephone caller? several times. it was the same message. remember you must die. you really should tell the police and have them prying into my private affairs? besides have you seen the sort of policemen they employ nowadays? not even sure some of them are entirely white.
but then they could intercept your calls. been having them obscene phone calls
have you dearie? oooo. [laughing] it must be an enemy. nonsense. I have no enemies. Lettie: lights! please don't tell me how to drive
Lettie. I have observed the lights. [honking horn] some chap has lost his faculties. [brakes sound] stupid bitch! [horns honking] - there's a bit here about Eric.
- who's Eric? Eric is your son Charmian.
what does it say? it is a pity that Eric Colston has not
inherited even a small spark of his mother's literary genius. his cheerless offering has all
the style and polish of a lump of pumice stone.
that'll do Godfrey. don't know where The Times
gets their critics from these days. well I couldn't read the damn book all about some motor car salesman having it
off with a communist librarian in some ghastly hotel in Leeds. who wants to read
about that? anyway the fella is quite right Eric can't hold a candle to Charmian.
thank you dear don't know what you've got against Eric. you never did like the boy. just because
he's sensitive and artistic. boy. he's over fifty.
fifty two. did I tell you that young man from the papers
rang and wants to come and see me oh good morning Taylor.
that is not Taylor you haven't heard of that journalist
fellow for years. pardon me sir but Madam's quite right. the gentleman phoned.
I answered the call myself. the young gentleman told her books
was being rediscovered and she'd be famous all over again. really? [telephone rings] I want to know who's in the obituaries. how can you be so gruesome? alright dear I'll read it to you. telephone for you dame Lettie. I see who it is. I would like to hear the war news. the war has been over for 10 years Charmian. if indeed it's the last one you're referring to. oh dear. has there been more than one? well? same message how did they know where to find me?
I didn't tell anyone. I'm glad I took a call. at least the police will know now
that you're not making it up. police? have we been robbed? I am being molested by a voice. when you get home you better have
someone to come and stay with you. why not ask Lisa Brooke? Lisa Brooke be damned. good lord! I only hope God didn't take you too literally. very odd cards here I must say in memory of those wonderful nights: Tony.
what does he mean wonderful nights? so I should like to know. what about this one? passionate love Sidney. Sidney who? she never mentioned a Sidney to me.
Lisa had a lifelong dedication to the arts. and artists. I remember. from my housekeeper mrs. Pettigrew.
must've cost a fortune. the least she could do. Lisa seems to have
left her one. Oh miss Pettigrew. a very touching sentiment. a few words of my own. I didn't think they were Shakespeare's. I believe you know the Sidebottomes.
Tempest and Ronald mrs. Pettigrew has been kind enough to
ask us to a little tea party at the Beehive. a few close friends of mrs. Brookes. perhaps dame Lettie you and your brother
would care to join us? what for? we can have tea at home. thank you. we'd be delighted. I wonder. if you're wrong about the will
Pettigrew might need a new position. she might be interested in
taking care of Charmian. she seems a little bit forceful
wouldn't you say? Charmian needs a firm hand. there's that little rotter Guy Leet.
pretend you don't see him. Lettie: really Godfrey. who are all these people? can they be Lisa's
brothers and sisters? Lisa had no living relatives but perhaps you didn't
know her very well oh I wouldn't say that. Charmian not with you? no we thought it would
be too much for her. oh really? I think she might quite
have enjoyed it. why can't I see the ashes?
hush now grandfather good morning Percy. Olive. what does he want
with Lisa's ashes? he wants to see if
they've gone gray. and of course they'll be gray.
must have lost his faculties. some people. nothing is sacred. on the contrary. the ashes of Lisa Brookes will
always be sacred to me. are you coming to mrs. Pettigrew's bone fide?
yes looking forward to it. where's that cleric?
he'll have the ashes. and I desire to see the ashes and kiss them...
if they're cool enough. can not stand that fellow Guy Leet.
sets himself up as some sort of literary critic. just an excuse to take liberties
with the lady novelists of course. tried it on with Charmian in the old days.
I soon saw him off. never got much change out of me.
he wasn't after you. yoo hoo. dame Lettie. over here.
come and sit near me damn snob that Pettigrew. I suppose she
thinks that Lettie's somebody. [chatter] a poetic genius take Dylan Thomas...
haha Dylan Thomas? he didn't know the meaning
of the word poetry I told Lisa so.
that's not poetry I said oh it's a leg pull. a hoax mr. Mannering. if you please.
this is a solemn occasion. if Dylan Thomas were here in this room you know
what I'd say to him? I'll tell him to take his so-called poetry and stick it -
excuse me sir but I cannot permit that sort of language in my establishment. pretty strong for you ladies eh?
hush now grandpa or I'll have to take you home. What did he say? what did he say? he was talking about some gentle - he was talking about some gentleman... indelicately. [coughing] when you've dropped him off will you'll be
going back to your flat? I do appreciate - I appreciate your offer
dame Lettie but in view of my expectation... yes I quiet understand. bear it in mind just in case.
such a boon to my dear brother. and what is your feeling
about the service mr. Colston? satisfactory on the whole. they do quite a good tea too. she means the funeral
service you fool. well she should have said. naturally when you said service I assumed -
I thought it was rather cold. the last cremation that I attended - I have quite decided to be cremated myself
when my time comes. far the cleanest way all those dead bodies
uh contaminating everyone's water damaging people's faculties doesn't bear thinking about. well anyway you should have said funeral
service to start with. [shouts] [talking shouting] Lettie thinks you should have someone
to take care of you stuff and nonsense. anyway I already have Taylor. you do not have Taylor. we have mrs. Anthony
and she's only really a daily. besides she's no spring chicken herself.
didn't you enjoy the funeral dear? it was a cremation. no I didn't. for one thing that little squirt Guy Leet
was there showing off as usual. has to hobble about on two sticks these days.
ha! serves him right. oh what a clever man he was
and so charming too I'll be off home now if there's nothing else.
I've left a casserole in the oven for your suppers. thank you.
how old are you now Taylor? I'll be 70 next birthday madam oh good.
then you'll be one of us. where are you going? for a walk [telephone rings] yes this is Charmian Colston are you a reporter? then how may I help? VOICE: remember you must die. thank you at my age there are many
things I don't remember but that is not one of them. goodbye goodness. it's you. I said I'd be dropping in tonight. you didn't actually. nevermind I'll just go and change. who was that I just saw leaving?
no one special. would you like a drink? not if it's that filthy
Cyprus sherry again. not this time as it happens. it's rather good stuff actually present from a friend of mine you heard anything from Eric? poor man he must be feeling dreadful
after those reviews. no more than he deserves. haven't got much time Charmian is alone in the house. I hate to remind you but well... you did forget last time didn't you the cost of living these days oh ah hah ah hah ohhh of course mr. Willoughby I do understand
the will still has to be probated I'm afraid it's not quite as simple as that. and why not pray? the will was quite clear.
she showed it to me herself. oh uhhh everything was to come to me. unless of course her husband outlived
her and I know for a fact he was killed in the first world war.
that's it you see. major Brooke did indeed die... uh... in 1915 but her second husband her what? is very much alive I'm afraid mr. Guy Leet you still receive the 50 pounds the sum that she specified
you were to receive 50 pounds I spent almost that much
on a sodding wreath. that lying two-faced cow! well I still think that mrs. Pettigrew is
not at all the right person for looking after miss Charmian.
in my opinion she's ideal. I heard she was very domineering
towards mrs. Brooke. it's precisely because she is domineering
that we've decided to employ her. Charmian needs to be bullied.
she might even enjoy it. we had a sister here who
bullied the grannies. - they certainly didn't enjoy it.
- not the same thing at all. they're all senile. I don't mean you of course. but you're always telling me that
Charmian too is virtually senile. yes well... so she is. I must say I sometimes wonder if
she isn't putting it on. oh maybe she is. I suppose mrs. Pettigrew needs the money
now that mr. Leet - never did trust that Guy Leet. he didn't say one word
about it at the funeral. not one word. quite wicked of him. as I recall he could be very wicked. mind you he probably won't last long.
rheumatoid arthritis you know. - like me.
- what? oh! yes well I'm sorry Taylor but well it's
best to face facts. - it's a bit like wartime really.
- hmm? being over 70. so many friends
going and gone it's like being a lone survivor amongst
the dead and the dying on a battlefield. oh come now Taylor. you're
beginning to sound like Charmian. well I was with her for so many years
it's not surprising there! didn't I tell you? indeed you did. now this is grannie -
this is madam Valvona. she was a
professional clairvoyant. in your horoscope it was
like I said. Virgo. a brisk day for
business entertaining. and here's you with
a visitor! ha! he's telephoned again twice same words each time. it's hard for people of our
age to remember about dying perhaps we should've really got into the
habit when we were young sometimes I don't
understand a word you say. I'm simply saying that perhaps you
ought to listen to what he says. I refuse to be told
what to think! besides I'm not the only victim.
the Sidebottomes have had calls too. and Charmian!
he's spoken to Charmian? [indistinct voices] I think it was hearing that this man
telephoned you that really worried Jean. - uh Miss Taylor that is.
- dear Taylor. it's such a relief to know that she's not nearly
as bad as Lettie would have me believe. I suspect Dame Lettie rather enjoys making
other people unhappy. now I know why you're
such a good detective [laughing] the best years of my life
I gave her mrs. Antony and to be cast out into the street.
penniless. hardly peniless dear 50 pounds is 50 pounds I should have had all of it instead of that Guy Leet crawling out of
the woodwork like a bad penny. and what sort of a marriage
was that anyhow I'd like to know? it takes all sorts is
what I always say. - have a fag.
- no thanks. here's another thing.
when I was with mrs. Brooke she always asked me
to meet her visitors. who's that with her nibs now? inspector Henry Mortimer
from the police. least he was. got to know madam years ago
when her jewels was pinched quite a fan of hers he was well I'm going in there anyhow
whether she likes it or not. the Gates of Grand Dell
was Taylor's favorite. the one I like best of all was
To Thine Own Self. Oh Godfrey would
never admit it but he read all my books
and loved them. Taylor told me. oh! I didn't know you had company. I thought you might be feeling tired you may take the tea things away. [rings bell] I... I don't think I had the pleasure. Henry Mortimer oh of course Oh inspector
Mortimer isn't it? I don't think I've met
a police officer before. you do surprise me. Oh actually I retired from the force
some years ago I rather enjoyed the work but - I know I remember I had a
cousin whose ambition it was to be a policeman of course he he was only 6
years old just a moment mrs. Colston. the inspector's telling us
about his career. by all means tell us about your
career Eric. not Eric... Henry it is Henry isn't it? thank you Taylor dear dear. I think we're having
one of our little turns. now you know mrs. Colston
that isn't Taylor. Taylor's in
hospital remember I miss her ahhhh please mrs. Pettigrew.
you're hurting me. what you need is a nanny.
I am NOT a nanny oh dear.. I think mrs. Pettigrew... do call me Mabel and be friendly. I think mrs. Pettigrew in future... it will not be necessary to come into
the drawing room when I have visitors unless I ring for you. good night [footsteps on the stairs] [accordion Tango music] [groaning] [accordion Tango music] mind you Charmian has always let her
imagination run away with her. Mortimer: so you don't believe she ever
did receive a phone call I'm only saying she doesn't like to be
left out of the limelight. well as to that I don't think
she needs to worry do you? I believe her books are
enjoying quite a renaissance. your posts mum. in any case they've also
been other victims. your friend Tempest Side-bottom. Sidebottome. and her brother
and I believe the late Lisa Brooke. do get to the point inspector.
I'm a busy woman. I alas am no longer
actually an inspector. the point is Dame Lettie that
the caller appears to confine his activities to your immediate circle which could indicate that he may be... well... one of you. nonsense. I have an excellent
ear for voices and would certainly recognize the voice
of someone I knew. ah but would you now leaving that aside for the moment ... I've had a chat about your nephew mr. Eric Colston you've been talking to Godfrey haven't you?
always picking on the boy. I'm sorry but it does seem rather a
coincidence that the phone calls started at just about the time he returned to
London and you yourself say the calls are all local. well if that's all you
have to go on let me tell you my nephew is in the country and has
been for three months or more. that's not quite so I'm afraid. I happen to know he came back
some time ago in fact he's been staying with a... friend you might say. in Fulham a hairdresser I believe. Marion May died yesterday at
her home in Knightsbridge on the eve of her 92nd birthday. I remember her.
a gaiety girl wasn't it? you're in good
form this morning. mustn't forget our pills. I already had my pills with my morning tea.
don't you remember? there's nothing wrong
with my memory. she did well for herself. married twice.
made money both times. wonder how much she left. take your pills dear. she was introduced to us
at Cannes wasn't she? yes that's right. about 1910. and she stood on the chair and looked around her and shouted: Christ! the place is
stinking with royalty! we were all so embarrassed. hang on a minute I think you're wrong. I think
it was one of the Lilly girls who stood on the chair at Deauville. oh come on now.
there's a good girl. I've not been a girl for a long time mrs.
Pettigrew and I doubt I was ever a good one. I have taken two pills already... any more might be dangerous. Godfrey: for god sake Charmian what is the point of paying
these exorbitant doctor's bills if you won't take your
medicine. but I have taken it Godfrey. and I refuse to be poisoned
in my own house. poisoned! oh really. Taylor, when you brought my tea tray this
morning what was on it? mrs. Pettigrew brought it down there was
a cup and saucer and - of course there were no pills. I put them back in the bottle. Godrey dear. I know I took them. I really don't wish to take any more. oh well if that's the way you feel. I can only say that it makes life damn
difficult for the rest of us if you go on like that. especially me you want to
get rid of me. there there now. nobody
wants to get rid of you. I don't know where
she gets these ideas. [sighs] well all I can say is it's not right the
way you keep on nagging her all the time. it's no wonder she
gets a bit confused. she's just old that's all.
you'll be like that some day. I beg your pardon. one thing I do know.
she's not as feeble as she makes out. she can get around quite easily
when she likes. no not when she likes.
when she feels like it. nobody understands her like me.
not now Jean Taylor's gone. she's mad if you ask me Oh! accusing me of trying to poison her. a woman in my position. if I'm gonna poison someone I'd go
about it better than that I can tell you. I bet you would. mind how you speak to
me mrs. Anthony. all I can say is we got along
perfectly when all these years without you interfering and making trouble. I shall speak to mr. Godfrey about your
rudeness to me. see if I don't. go ahead I dare say it's easy enough for your sort
to get around the likes of him. and what exactly do
you mean by that? work it out for yourself. [door closes] he's gone out.
left her all alone. and her feeling so poorly. I'll go and sit with her for a while. I don't fancy the company in
here anyway. it's always the same. whenever I lower myself to be nice to
the servants I always end up regretting it. [sound of car driving off] that one's Godfrey. this one was taken at Ascot. [Charmian chattering and laughing] Charmian: Oh! there's Godfrey.
doesn't he
look dashing! Godfrey: what the - mrs. Anthony: ohhh! god help us!
the oven! my pie! my pie! oh my god my pie! oh dear. do I smell burning? I do hope it's not your dinner. [coughing] manners of young people nowadays. I was very
nearly knocked down just now. by one of the staff too. - well they're in a hurry. it's granny Duncan.
- it's no excuse for rudeness. how are you today Taylor? I've
had some very upsetting news. did you know that Eric has been
here in town all this time and never once contacted me? oh dear I'm afraid she's gone gone? gone where? whatever is happening? well nurse Lucy is telling the
porter he'll be needing to move the body Lucy lucky lost her pot! now granny Barnacle you know better than that. they're going to move the body now
while we're watching? oh no no no they'll wait a
little while in respect for the dead. you see granny Taylor. just like it
said in the paper. Sagittarius. afternoons best
for embarking on long-distance travel and granny Duncan
gone smack in the middle of December! fancy that now. do pay attention Taylor. I really am most
disturbed about Eric. well perhaps he's
working on a new book. just making excuses. no no I'm
afraid this isn't the first time. of course I've cut him
out of my will. [granny Barnacle singing] Taylor this is too much. I don't know how you put up
with it Taylor! I really don't! she's just frightened that's all. - it's her way of making a protest.
- against what I'd like to know! perhaps against death. come along now granny. do take your hands off me. I'm capable of getting to my
own two feet by myself thank you and don't call me granny! [granny Barnacle singing] listen to this. Charmian Colston, one of the
greatest novelists of our time is despite her age..
come on Eric.
I want you out of here. ... is despite her age is
still vibrantly alive and ready to rekindle the flame that
once set the whole literary world ablaze. my bloody mother. her books were very popular.
any way I'm glad for her. - now get going please!
- I told you I've nowhere to go. - Bobby and I had a row.
- you're not staying
here again. what about your aunt Lettie? I'd rather stay with an alligator. I mean if you'd just let me have a couple
of quid to tide me over. oh for pete's sake. don't bother to say thank you. well why should I when I can make a
pretty good guess where that came from [Eric yawns] perhaps I'll stick around after all have a few words of daddykins. I'm in the mood to tell him
what I think about him. and my sainted mother too. not just them. and their boring geriatric friends what the hell do any them
know about real life? probably a good deal more than you for God's sake you've got
your money now go [door bell ring] christ he's here bedroom [door bell ring] [accordion Tango music] I was surprised when you rang me. I don't usually see you
so early in the day. I had to get away from Lettie. she arrived on the doorstep some god-awful hour this morning. blabbing on about Eric. what about Eric? Oh apparently he's been up in town
for some time and never got in touch. well he's done for himself this time. she's cut him out of her will. good thing too poor Eric... he's in rather a bad
way you know Godfrey: he's always in a bad way. how would you know? oh he popped in the other day. to scrounge as usual I suppose. I hope you didn't give him anything. - I don't suppose you could...
- no I certainly could not. Godfrey: I've done quite
enough as it is. he's a fool and a wastrel. and that so-called book of his
was the last straw. trying to cash in
on Charmian's name. huh! fat lot of
good it did him. my my... you are in a bad mood
today aren't you? let's see if we can think of
something to cheer you up. [accordion Tango music] Photographer: if you could just
hold it up a bit more. good. now if you could just...
one more like this. what the hell! do you mind sir. isn't this fun? what do you think of the younger
generation today mrs. Colston? they are rather attractive
aren't they? such a pity they've forgotten
how to enjoy themselves. Interviewer: perhaps your
books will remind them. do you really think so? oh I do hope you're right. [door slams] don't get the wrong idea he's a dear old thing... Godfrey. and it doesn't do
anyone any harm. quite the opposite how do you mean? well the bit of money he
gives me I give to my grandfather Percy Mannering.
you know... the poet. he lives all by himself in a
nasty little attic in Battersea. I've tried to get him to move
in with me but he won't. stubborn old fool in your way you're a very... kind person what do you know
about mrs. Pettigrew? the new housekeeper companion? not much but from something
Godfrey let drop... I wouldn't be surprised if she were
blackmailing him. what about for god's sake? something to do with Lisa Brooke.
some letters I think. she's dead. what would it matter? I think he's afraid Charmian will
find out and be hurt or something. he really adores her you know... under all that bluster. sugar? hello mr. Mortimer. got you
back on the beat again have they? [laughs] Vendor: lord bless you inspector Mortimer. how does he feel about Eric? Godfrey? can't stand him and vice-versa. - could he be going making the calls?
- no not Eric. he just wishes he thought of it first.
and if he had he'd be boasting about it. - has Godfrey had any calls himself?
- he hasn't said so. I think he has an idea
who's making them. who? a man called Guy Leet. but I shouldn't take much notice.
Godfrey hates him for some reason. and you? what do you think? I rather like him. at least he's got
some life left in him. [telephone rings] [telephone rings] Voice: is that mr. Godfrey Colston? it is. Voice: remember you must die. you're making a mistake.
dame Lettie isn't here. perhaps you want to
talk to my wife. Voice: there's no mistake.
the message is for you mr. Colston. I told you. there'll be no
more of that until - the voice. on the phone. rubbish! the phone hasn't
rung all evening. how would you know
listening to that trash? how dare you! listen to me he said well what he always says. to remember I must die. well what's wrong with that? it's just what I've always
been telling you. what? I think you should phone
your solicitor in the morning and make an appointment about your will
before it's too late! oh I don't really think that - lucky your
dear wife didn't get that phone call. in her state of health if she'd heard
something. or shall we say perhaps... read something to upset her.
ohhh who knows what would... all right tomorrow I promise Guy: over here. mr. Leet? who wants to know? Henry Mortimer.
I spoke to you on the phone ah the copper of course. right. [panting] how do you do? I expect you're wondering
what I'm doing out here. uh... gardening perhaps? no no old boy.
the fact is I'm being... harrassed by a homicidal
maniac called Percy Mannering. the old fool's been banging
on the door all the morning, yelling and threatening about
god knows what. I just slipped out here you see but he'll be back. oh my dear fellow.
what am I thinking of? come on inside and
have a quick one. why don't you call the police? no I can't really do that. not to old Percy. anyway you're the police aren't you? well not exactly I'm afraid my man's off today. do sit down. whiskey do you? it's a good thing you
turned up actually. [cork pops] if old Percy comes back... you will see him off the
premises won't you? ... like a good chap why is mr. Mannering
besieging you? well... he used to be a poet you see. he thinks he still is and he's incredibly prickly
about his work. anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I brought out a
volume of memoirs. I don't know if you uh... no actually it was quite decently reviewed umm.... uh... ah! here we are. another frequent visitor at Marigolds
in that magical summer of 1911 was Percival Mannering. a charming fellow
and a quite competent versifier. does that sound like an insult to you? well -
Guy: no no. of course not! completely barmy. says he's gonna sue me now
over besmirching his reputation. [laughs]
good health! now what did you want
to see me about? it's this man who keeps bothering
people on the telephone. old lady Colston's phone
pal you mean. the famous voice. well he's rung me a couple of times. could you describe how he sounded? youngish. educated. bit like an undergraduate actually. what exactly did he say? the same thing both times.
remember you must die. I mean he was quite
civil about it. [knocking on door]
Open up! [knocking on door]
Oh God. I know you're in there! come out and take your
medicine like a man! [knocking on door. dog barking] open up you prat! I warn you Percy.
I've got the police with me. liar!
[dog barking] [knocking on door] come come sir.
pull yourself together. who the hell are you! I told you. this is inspector Mortimer
of the Metropolitan police. looks more like a bloody bank
manager to me [panting] I - no no come come! stop it you maniac! [arguing, shouting] Mortimer: what's all this about? [panting] that man... that man has
ruined my reputation! to whom? what reputation? I suppose you want a drink. yes. brandy. and you? he had the temerity to refer to me
in his grimy little memoirs, not that anybody would ever read
them of course... as a quite competent versifier.
you're lucky I didn't say incompetent. well thanks. I'll have you know that no less a poet
than Ernest Dowson he referred to my my first book of sonnets
as exquisite. no one I know has ever
heard of Ernest Dowson. nor you. oh is that so? really... nobody alive? what about Lisa Brooke?
mm-hmm dear Lisa and they wouldn't even let me
kiss her ashes you know. oh she was a most extraordinary woman. extraordinary great
perception and and and sensitivity - [telephone rings] oh go away yes that's me. oh bollocks yes as I was saying oh the evenings Lisa and I spent reading Ernest Dowson - look if you must insist on answering my
phone you might have the common courtesy - nothing to do with you.
it it it was for me. I mean the fellow asked
for me by name. mr. Percival Mannering he said. yes... yes he was very courteous. I said - my god! it was him that chap Lettie's always on about. remember you must die. that chap. but I mean how on earth did
he know I was coming here? hey? but I... I didn't even know myself
until I got to Waterloo. [music] [street sounds] may I help you madam? I'm waiting for a friend. doesn't look like he's
coming does it? I beg your pardon. I've been watching you
for the past hour. I'd move along if I were you. Oh what a lovely
surprise for Godfrey. [clapping] Godfrey: I don't know
what's come over you. all these people
fawning over you. it's ruined your faculties. Charmian: there's nothing wrong with my
faculties and I did make my tea. Godfrey: that's absolute nonsense.
you know that's impossible. Charmian: I did. I promise you I did. she insists that she made
her tea all by herself. who else could have done it? you know it's
mrs. Anthony's day off and mrs. Pettigrew's
been out all afternoon. haven't you mrs. Pettigrew? may I pour dear? so you see... I've been here all by myself and I made my own tea and it's right there in front of you but Godfrey still
won't believe me I don't know what
you're talking about. I made your tea and brought it in to you
before I went out for a walk. ah there. you see. now now old girl.
don't worry about it. you've just been dreaming that's all. no dear I seem to be getting
feeble in mind now as well as body. I shall go to that nursing home. oh now -
I'm sorry my dear but I'm quite decided. perhaps it would be for
the best. now come. there's no
need to talk like that. nobody's suggesting --
aren't they? I'm going to bed. oh dear. a supper tray. I don't need any supper thank you. I had an excellent tea good night Godfrey: well I I think I'll go up and - and where were you this
afternoon may I ask? ah umm well... because I know where you were not.
you are not at your solicitor's office. no no he said... his secretary who said that he'd
been called away won't be back until next week. urgent case.
urgent case? he's a solicitor!
not a bloody brain surgeon! feeling alright? want anything? nothing. thank you. please don't go to that nursing home. I did make my own tea... truly. yes yes all right of course you did. don't go. Godfrey please. can't we get rid of
mrs. Pettigrew? I don't like her. I really don't care for her at all. better get some sleep. [music] [singing] what a nice little house is this the room's on the top of
this pretty little shack. the front's on the front
and the back's in the back. what a nice little house. I can see that you have a
very exciting social life. you're not thinking of going
to Ascot by any chance? not just now. thank you.
madam Valvona. very much. oh! that was very kind of you. no trouble. I'm getting rather
fond of your granny's. have you made any progress? not a great deal I'm afraid.
one thing though. you were right about mrs. Pettigrew at least.
she some very odd friends. for instance there's a man in
Camberwell who makes keys for people who want
to get into places they shouldn't. our mrs. Pettigrew called on
him the other day. how's Charmian getting
on with her? not well.
mr. Colston he's quite worried. do you think she could have anything to do
with the man on the phone? perhaps. don't see how. anyway next Saturday I'm getting
the whole bloomin lot of them together at my house face to face. Oh madam Valvona was right. you've got an exciting
social life ahead of you. [laughing] [tires squeal] oh! Henry! where will we put them? don't worry dear.
we'll manage somehow. Charmian can't get out until you do! just don't pull me.
come on! oh Godfrey! you should be helping your elders. not laughing at them.
now get out an pick up your aunt's things. she is not my niece!
she is my maid! yes all right! and you! stop telling
me what to do. I hope you haven't
offended her. maids are very difficult to
get hold of these days. Oh! [chatter, bustling] lovely got a bit lost. you relied on that old idiot to navigate. the map was wrong!
I told you! I intend on suing him
as a matter of fact. [chatter, bustling] look look. just down there. is that a new outdoor game? no I don't think
I'm quite up to it. I enjoyed the drive.
my first in years. don't be absurd Charmian. nobody could
possibly enjoy Godfrey's driving. I think you'll find it's all there. Woodbines oh! ewww we really weren't quite
expecting so many of you. we've all suffered from this
telephone maniacs attentions. I for one rarely travel anywhere
without my maid. how can you live out
here in suburbs? you don't have to come inside. there's a brand-new addition out here
and selling like hotcakes. [chatter] you and Taylor were always
my greatest fans. oh Godfrey. isn't it wonderful
to get out of the house? come along. we mustn't excite
ourselves our first day out. Charmian: what a charming house.
how lovely. I'm sure you're all dying for - I mean you'd
all like a nice cup of tea. if you care to leave your things - my God these people live by a whole
different set of social rules. you go and see to the tea. I'll take
over as Good Shepherd. - can I give you a hand?
- oh! if you would I would be so grateful. they can be a bit overwhelming. [chatter] is it time to go home? Mortimer: I must first
commend Dame Lettie for her diligence in tracing and bringing together today so
many of her immediate circle who have also been plagued in this way. so apart
from myself and the younger members of
our group everyone here has received a
telephone call of the kind I have described. needless to say I will consider
everything you tell me to be in strict confidence. you sure you're
comfortable? oh yes I'm having a lovely time. we're not supposed to be
having a lovely time. we're supposed to be discussing this
telephone fella. well I never mind what we discuss
as long as it's not my private life. you never had a private life. everything you ever did was spread
about the gutter press. oh not everything old boy. so long as someone has
mentioned the press I think you should know -- [dishes crash] [shouting, arguing, fussing] who is that fellow? don't ask me. thought he was a
friend of yours old man. have you quite taken
leave of your faculties? now if we've all
settled down perhaps we can continue. Oh careful Dame Lettie.
don't take too much now. [giggling] as I was about to say... I have had some rather
disquieting news. what did he say? I think we should all try
listen to what Henry -- uh Mr Mortimer has to tell us. ha!
Charmian: yes you too Godfrey dear. please continue the fact is I heard only today
that someone has revealed the story of your mysterious
phone caller to the press. one of the less selective
papers I'm afraid. Eric. that bloody little snake. Oh surely not dear. always so hard on the boy Godfrey. I'm sorry but it does seem
to have been your son. I gather he asked for quite
a substantial sum of money. what for? to keep half the hairdresser's in
London in silk ties and socks? be that as it may the result is that the
police have had to be informed. so the whole matter is therefore now
no longer in my own hands. am I to understand you are
in service to dame Lettie? not much longer
if I can help it. crazy old bat. perhaps I might be able to
find you something more suitable. aye. but I don't do no heavy work. of course not. if we can come up with some
sort of description of the perpetrator. Dame Lettie. there's one important point
that you might help to clarify. you told me that the man's voice
sounded middle-aged rather deep and sinister. All: no no no no no he was quite a young chap.
a decent sort of chap I thought. yes I've found him
extremely civil. civil? how could you call him civil when he keeps
ringing people up and threatening them? anyhow you're all wrong. he sounded
like an illiterate looney to me. nonsense! [arguing, chatter] quiet! please! that's the whole point. it seems that while he always
says the same thing he uses a different voice
each time. good lord! a master of disguises. master a vocal disguise at least. mr. Sidebottom.
huh? I mean mr. Sidebottome. [sighs] but what puzzles me is why should anyone go to the trouble of disguising their voice and telephoning a particular
group of people just to tell them to remember
they must die? perhaps he thought that we
needed reminding. [muttering] didn't Tennyson say a man
he thinks he was not made to die [sighs] and isn't that what we
all think really? nobody gives a damn about
your old Tennis-any-ones. if hadn't been for your old queen. who's an old queen? [shouting, screaming] I don't think anything
works up there. [shouting, screaming, arguing] [playful music] Mortimer: oof! all the same there's... something about them.
I don't know... a sort of stubborn gallantry. echoes of a romantic
and glamorous past. you didn't tell them
them what you suspect? I couldn't somehow.
not when it came to it. anyway they wouldn't
have believed me. some of them might. perhaps that's why
I couldn't tell them. thank you for a lovely tea party
mrs. Trubshaw. our name is Mortimer. then this isn't the over 70s happiness group? no in that case mr. Mortimer all I can say is you have some
very peculiar friends. [granny Barnacle singing] lullabye [telephone ringing] lullabye [telephone ringing] [telephone ringing] Nightingale. oh yes doctor sister will see to
your instructions. [phone hanged up] in my opinion your Mr Mortimer is
nothing but a mountebank. I like him. he's kind and clever and
he understands people like us. I'll be off now it's a lovely bit of salmon in the
fridge for your suppers. Thank You mrs. Anthony. that is not Taylor. of course not. Taylor's in hospital. you know I really think I might
be well enough to go and see her soon. I did so enjoy my day. that's more than I did.
damn charlatan. we had all that out yesterday. let's not go into it again. you only like him because
he flatters you. that smarmy chitchat
about your books. as for you. fluttering your
eyelashes at him... like some young flapper. I tell
you I didn't know where to look. if you're going to be in one of your moods dear, I
think I'll go up and have my afternoon nap. moods? moods what moods? did you want
something mrs. Pettigrew? just a word with mr. Godfrey
if you don't mind. you better start
getting ready or we'll be late. I don't think I got quite... 10 minutes. [door opening] I didn't hear you knock mrs. Pettigrew. Mabel. no you didn't always knock! when I was with mrs. Brooke
I had the run of the house like a close friend. and confidante no doubt. I don't think I shall go into the
nursing home after all much as I would like to. Godfrey needs me here. that's where you're wrong. you're nothing but a
hindrance to him a thoroughgoing - if you'll excuse me I'd like
to take my nap now I came to talk to you about mrs. Anthony.
she's really not capable of cooking anymore. leaving a cold supper again tonight. it's bad for my
digestion going to bed on a cold supper. you could heat something up
for yourself in the kitchen. Godfrey and I like cold salmon. and the way she lets the food
burn and the milk boiling over? she's really becoming quite dangerous. in that case perhaps you should
keep an eye on her mrs. Pettigrew. after all you've nothing else to do. very well. don't blame me
if someone gets poisoned. poisoned? oh really
now mrs. Pettigrew. oh it's quite easy to poison
someone you know. think it over. I don't see why I can't
come in with you. because the fellow would think it
damned odd. that's why. stop! if we're gonna stop every five minutes
we'll never get there. I'm not sitting around waiting
for hours with nothing to read. look! at Kirkson Hall today world-renowned critic mr. Guy Leet, 80,
married miss Olive Mannering 30 year old granddaughter -
how dare he? filthy old lecher! of course Olive Mannering I've seen the way you look at
her. well well you old devil. I don't know what -- [horns honking] so that's who you were seeing all those times
you went out and left your poor wife on her own. [tires squeal] mrs. Pettigrewhow about that.
one on top of the other. that will give her quite a turn: now look out!
stop! stop. [tires squeal] and tell him to send you the draft so we can check it together.
make sure it's right. [telephone rings] I kept thinking it might be
one of her friends. why was that? sounded old and grizzly
like one of them. did you notice
anything else about him? there was one thing. he never seem to ring when she weren't
home. like he always knew. funny that. dame Lettie herself. what was her
reaction? if you ask me she's gone
right round the bend. poking about the house at all hours.
falling over things. why would she do that? oh she's scared. it could be a burglar
casing the joint. like in the movies. I said to her why don't you call
the police I said. she would hear of it. got quite nasty. well that's
when I quit. you mean you're no
longer with dame Lettie? a girl has to better herself. how will she manage on their own? she can always get
someone else. it's not like she lost all that jewelry and stuff she's got. you know her family don't you Jeff. Custom Breweries. that's who.
Jeff: fancy. bet they
never go short of a drink eh? where's the whiskey? never any damn whiskey
in the house perhaps mrs. Anthony's
been drinking it. bloody woman I can't find
the whiskey. then you'll have to have brandy
won't you my dear there's something I have
to say to you. I have decided that after all it will be best
for me to go into a nursing home. I'm sure you're doing
the right thing dear. but you can't! I'm sorry Godfrey.
my mind is made up. I shall be leaving
in three days time. why? why now? is it because of the phone calls? - in a way.
- but you don't mind about them you said you don't care
about them at all of course she
minds about them. don't you dear there's no need to make
any arrangements I did all that when
you were both out. and now mrs. Pettigrew if
you'll excuse us. oh and be kind enough to shut
the door behind you. at least in the nursing home I shall have all of freedom
and privacy I need. no please don't go. I'll do anything. you won't you won't get rid of
that Pettigrew woman I've asked you
often enough. and you know how much
I dislike her. perhaps... if you tried. please don't be sad my dear for once I agree
with mrs. Pettigrew it really is for the best. for both of us. good afternoon dame Lettie. I remember you.
you're a Pisces. my old man was one of them.
very fishy people... Pisces. very slippery what's wrong with dame Lettie? oh she thinks you could be the
one making the phone calls. some sort of master criminal. head of a sinister gang. [laughs]
no don't laugh. she's even cut you out of her will. I never knew I was in it. we've all been in it
from time to time. they're send me to one of
them convoluted homes tomorrow. at the seaside. Mortimer: oh that'll be nice. didn't dame Lettie tell you? the police are putting
a tap on the phones. I'm just going to the bank. I hear that Charmian has gone into a
nursing home leaving poor mr. Godfrey alone with that dreadful mrs. Pettigrew. why doesn't he get rid of her? because she's blackmailing him. someone else
thought that too. something to do with Lisa Brooke. well there's no
harm in telling you. it must be Oh 40 years ago I suppose. Charmian had gone into the
country to get some research for one of her books and Godfrey and mrs. Lisa Brooke well she was a very handsome
woman in those days. but surely after all this time... perhaps you don't really
understand them at all. you see to a man like Godfrey betraying Charmian was as shameful as
betraying one's own country. or worse perhaps. and that's what mrs. Pettigrew
has been trading on. Nurse: now granny wasn't that
a nice trip to the bank. Granny Barnacle: her and her
hoity toity bank. why can't you go to the
post office like the rest of us? you won't forget me back in Speek
tomorrow will ya. [singing] or I do like to be beside the seaside. I do like to be beside the sea! it's a hospice they're
sending her to really. where they send one when... when there's no hope. she doesn't know of course. I hear they're very kind but she doesn't know I love her so and I shall miss her terribly. I'm truly sorry yes I know you are. and that's why I want you to do
something for me. of course Jean. anything. it's been a very difficult decision because it means
breaking the promise to Charmian. that I made so
many years ago. are you sure? she'd brought it on herself. I've never thought much
about mr. Godfrey but it's very selfish of her to
abandon him like that. I want you to give
him this straightaway. see that he reads it at once. I'll do it first thing
in the morning. the voice on the telephone... you know who
it is don't you. do you? oh yes I've known from the beginning. [granny Barnacle faintly singing] [telephone ringing, granny singing] [glass smashing] [door creaking] [floor creaking, footsteps] [dog barking faintly] [scream] you! it's you! it's you! [blows striking, groans] it's mrs. Pettigrew isn't it ? Eric Colston.
the author. I like your hairdo. I gather you've quite taken
over my papa these days lock stock and barrel
as you might say. I'm sure I don't know
what you mean. oh I think you do. you see I just had a
long chat with our solicitor. why don't we have a chat over
a cup of tea and a bun. just the two of us. [music] I have slaved my fingers to the bone
for your mother and father. right to the bone. and no thanks for it either. it depends what you call thanks
doesn't it? excuse me. now don't get
me wrong mrs. Pettigrew. Mabel isn't it? I am entirely on your side. you see I know all about
the old man's little... shall we say... peccadilloes? I can well imagine
what you've had to put up with. a woman of your taste
and discretion too. what exactly do you wish to
say to me mr. Colston? Eric. please. Eric... Mabel. [laughs] sounds like a song and dance
act doesn't it? and the two of us together
could make quite a fee. I can manage very well on my
own thank you very much. can you? suppose I decided to take
a trip into darkest Sussex and tell my darling mother about
her dear hubby's indiscretions? where would you be
then Mabel dear? up the creek would be my guess
and quite without a paddle dear. wouldn't you say? you haven't got any evidence not like I have. not letters. a word from me and
dear mama and it's bye-bye Mabel whatever way you look at it. how about it? what's in it
for you? never know the old man
could outlive us all. whereas a spot of the old ready cash
never comes amiss. don't you agree? so? we face him with it both of us. today. he's gone down to see her at that smart
nursing home of hers. all right so we'll wait
till he gets back. he was a bit odd today. he was all right till that Mr Mortimer
came to call. after that off he went chuckling to himself.
not a word to me. I really thought he'd
come over queer. oh I do beg your pardon. nonsense Guy dear. of course I'm
delighted for you. I've always thought her
as the most charming girl yes but sadly I'm unlikely to
make her a phrase with any... amazement. as it says in the marriage service. what I can do for her... what she really wants... is to give a home to that old rascal of a
grandfather of hers. probably one of the only reasons she
married me. well a little added spice to
life does no harm at our age. or at any age as I recall. [laughing] [music] [horn honking] easy to see marriage doesn't agree
with you Leet. you look worse than ever. lost your faculties eh? [both laugh] ahhh I see you've had a visitor. Guy Leet. yes. wasn't it kind of him? when he has such difficulty in getting
around these days. a bit different from uh... the way he got around in the summer of 1902 at uh... Lake Geneva and uh... Hyde Park gate in... 1907 was it? and Scotland and Biarritz. that was when you couldn't come home
because you caught pneumonia. I remember thinking it was
a strange place to catch pneumonia. Taylor. I think I should like a drink. you don't drink. I used to and now I'd like
to again before I die. nonsense there's whiskey over there
on the table. I ordered it in for you
but now I... I think I should
like one too. not too much soda please. [adds much soda] as to Guy Leet dear... I hardly think that you're in a
position to pass judgement. don't try and fob me off. I'm talking about Lisa Brooke [chokes] that time I was down in Devonshire
for instance. only of course... that was not the only occasion. you knew! you knew all the time. I'm afraid dear you're not really
cut out for infidelity. perhaps because you don't
really enjoy it. not like that little rotter
Guy Leet. oh my dear... why do you think I always
come back to you? come back to me now. no not this time. is it because of mrs. Pettigrew?
I'll get rid of her. it's not just mrs. Pettigrew although I hope you
will indeed get rid of her. she's an extremely
unpleasant person. do you know... you've never once called her Taylor. how very odd of me. still wish you'd change your mind. think about it. you'll be much happier on your own - with just mrs. Anthony to take care of you.
- mhmmm and you can come see me
as often as you like. it'll be like our old courting days. you could bring me flowers. I can take you for drive. yes when I'm up to it. but there is one thing
I would like you to do. it's about Taylor. oh of course.
she's betrayed you and... and you want to get your
own back well tell me what you - dear dear Godfrey. you'll never change. I really think it's
your most endearing quality. what? that I know you so well. but you don't know me at all. what? [laughing] where the hell is he? it's after nine o'clock. he'll be back. meanwhile why don't you and me have a
nice cozy little chat just the two of us. about the future [door opens] there he is. [Godfrey singing] [singing] and I was the only boy... good evening have a drink. oh I see
you've got one. Oh mrs. Pettigrew. where have you hidden
the whiskey? we were waiting for you. never mind that where's the whiskey?
ah there it is. Eric would like a word with you. well now. mrs. Pettigrew and I are in
this together father. in what? the question of your new will. meanwhile I expect all my financial
needs be taken care of. you're growing a paunch.
I haven't got a paunch. otherwise we shall have to
inform mother of certain facts. oh? please try and be
reasonable Godfrey. would you mind getting the hell
out of my house Eric? I'll give you 10 minutes
and then I shall call the police. we're a little bit over-tired aren't we?
just a teensy bit overwrought. [laughs] and you can leave
in the morning. first thing. oh by the way... there's nothing you can
tell Charmian that she doesn't know. [door bell rings] and perhaps you'd like
to keep Eric amused by showing him your thighs. [giggles] [laughing loudly] oh? mr. Godfrey Colston.
we are police officers. [stammering] I mean I was going to call you. it's about your sister
dame Lettie Colston. that's right isn't it? I'm afraid we have some
rather bad news. Taylor my dear Taylor miss Taylor I think as I'm no longer in
your employ. ... or you could of course
call me Jean. we've checked and rechecked and
there's nothing wrong with our equipment. never for a moment
thought there would be. look Henry you
know these people. you think they're playing
some sort of upper-class joke? or perhaps they're mad.
either way it beats me. let's have another listen [voice of Godfrey] Godfrey Colston I told you before it's not me you want. it's Lettie. Detective: who the hell is he talking to? there's nobody -
Mortimer: shush. go on. [voice of Guy Leet] yes? oh it's you again. no. sorry old chap but I have
promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. what's that? [phone hanging up] yes? this is Charmian Colston. oh yes. you did phone the other day. it's very kind of you but at my age I don't need reminding. I'm afraid my memory's sometimes... hello? hello? goodbye [phone hanging up] [Lettie's voice] yes? no. no please please don't. what do you want from me? money? anything. please! just tell me. I can't stand
anymore please! we got the chap who killed her. caught him red-handed
trying to flop one of her rings. amateurs. it was the maid's boyfriend. she's in the clear. all she did was shoot her
silly mouth off once too often. they never learn. a funny thing though... what was that? well the maid swore the old
girl never saw him in her life. wouldn't have known
him from Adam and? the boyfriend says the reason he
got in a panic and killed her was she woke up and recognized him.
I'm inclined to believe it . what exactly did he say? according to him she screamed out ... it's you ah yes that explains it.
she thought he was the man on the phone. of course in a way... she was right. he was death after all wasn't he?
for her. are you trying to tell
me that the voice they all heard was... death himself you heard the tapes. why do you think they can hear
his voice but we can't? but... even so... why them? because they are vulnerable
and that's what death feeds on. think about it Tom. it's the only answer. and to my shame I can think of at least
one old lady who got there before me. and when they found
poor Lettie's will she'd made so many changes
it was invalid. and being next of kin of course Godfrey inherits everything. and what's
he going to do with it? he says he's going to take
flying lessons. [laughing] I do hope
you'll be happy here. well at least the nurses
don't call me granny. I should hope not. do you remember Jean how you used to read aloud to me? I wondered if you'd like -
no I wouldn't! I used to read to you because you asked me to
because I was your servant. but I'm not your servant now. but Jean dear, I was hoping
you'd let ME read to YOU. well I can't stop you I suppose. now what would you like? I think I'll have the -
one of yours! how about the Gates of Grandella? of course. it was always your
favorite wasn't it? [music] the Gates of Grandella by Charmian Colston chapter one [knock on door] I'm sorry to interrupt mrs. Colston but
there's a telephone call. oh dear. I'm so sorry. I expect it's another of those
reporters. it's not for you mrs. Colston.
is for your friend Miss Taylor. a gentleman. he wouldn't
give me his name. said it was personal. please tell the gentleman that I can't
come to the phone now. just tell him we're far too busy
to talk to him. please Charmian
carry on. chapter one and there... in the distance... [music] as I said earlier this was a novel
originally by Muriel Spark and it was written I noticed when she was 41 and
able I imagine to contemplate a geriatric ward of octogenarians as
theatrically speaking a fun place to be. well I ungallantly noticed that she's now in
her seventies and I shouldn't be surprised to hear
that she's changed her mind Alistair Cooke masterpiece theater
good night
