MEET NERO WOLFE (1936)

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Nell Carter right be Ramsey yes sir on the table when can we tee off who's playing with you oh just my son I'm sorry but only foursomes on Sunday mr. Kimball we should have been told about this before we're new members here well I'll make up a foursome for your directly sir all of do you mind making up a foursome room professor fine not at all with mr. Robertson professor Barstow my name is master how do you do how do you do sir this is my son Manuel how do you do glad to meet you if you're members of the club I suppose you know mr. Roberts yes we've met oh yes well hey I hate to intrude in your game there's a movie of the store glad to have you well that's all settled just caps too tight run back the club houses here to get my visor William good shot that boy hasn't come back yet he has my clubs use my driver oh thank you mosquito with me just as I hit the ball that's too bad right good shot yours is a very familiar name DJ Kimba I know I've heard it before well of course I know who you are you're president of Wilson College that's right Jenny Kimball seems to me I heard that name a long time ago now I remember EJ pin this is awkward Robert Manoa [Applause] you better under a doctor there's no need of a doctor he's dead did [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] how long do you have to work Panera well if you get a key around yeah we got a key himself he doesn't need one he never goes out and this was the first day of your vacation I even gave up my job this was the day we were gonna get married so instead of that you take me along on a wild goose chase to find a dame who makes homebrew for Nero Wolfe and we end up bringing dilib em what do you want me to do break in a window I want you to take that job with your welcome in the furniture business all right I will I will you'd make a wonderful salesman Archie I just said I would and you wouldn't be slaving away for this beer-guzzling orchid grower [Applause] what do you want to be a detective for when you could have regular working hours and I might get to see the inside of a nightclub again so my state never even see a show again when are we going to get married my listen you've been promising me every day for a week we get married and we're still not married now listen as soon as I report to the chief about marine we'll be married in a half an hour you and I will be mr. and mrs. Archie Goodwin I promise you now will you please let me ring the doorbell in peace as mayor wolf has to answer this Bell himself he'll fire me here the Bell yes my luck mmm-hmm so you don't come back with marine no no listen oh I'm tired and I'm hungry my feet hate and I got a headache I'm gonna sit right down here and get some lunch I can't find Murray I don't know where Maurice I can't get any of the home who are you upset and how about the wolf tell me yourself you couldn't find Murray she left the house early the place is all locked up my mother made the only thing I could drink during Prohibition I got used to it I can't drink any other and now Murray is the only one that knows how to make it get that beer out of here Oliver I don't want it you know what I'm going to be forced to do Archie the metal it'll eat bread up here get me a slice of bread quick I'm being forced to go outside this house cheap you don't want to do that you know what that means don't you I haven't been outside this house in seven years fresh air kills me the traffic drives me crazy I'll if you're alone with my beer and my orchids in my work and now because you can't find Murray I've got to go out and find two myself but I went to 30 places you only had to go to one the right place the best beer maker in the world and you can find it but I've looked everywhere it isn't as if I asked you to do the impossible there are only six million people in New York it isn't as if you were anywhere in the United States I know how you feel cheap but I'll absolutely guarantee that Murray Mirandola is nowhere in the city it's Murray ready come upstairs I want to talk to you oh yeah he has been to the ovens now Murray where have you been I was busy raising some money to bring to you money for me yes I want you to find my brother something's happened to him he's gone I brought you $50 please mr. water how'd you take notes Artie another bottle of beer now Murray tell us about your brother Carlo was out of work yes I was supporting you uh-huh two weeks ago he decided to go back to the old country isn't that a new pencil certainly use these up first and give me that paper here are some telegraph planes use them they cost us nothing I hate these interruptions go on marine so I gave my brother the money for a steamship ticket he was a metal worker he made the springs for guns I see three day before he was going to go away he got work he telephoned me he was happy so happy he said he was going to stay in America after all he told me to meet him at a restaurant Monday night we were going to celebrate he didn't come does he live with you no he lived at 84 Hoover Street but he hasn't been there since Monday Sachi go to 84 Gruber Street have a look around if you see anything that looks unimportant to you bring it to me won't you please look for yourself Archie is my eyes my ears my arms and my legs he does everything for me but think don't worry Murray will bring your brother back to your room cost you a penny he hasn't got Carlo up his sleeve but he tried what to pull him right out the drawer evidently Carlo read this standard what did I tell you he's brilliant that's detective he was looking for jobs a month when I was cutting out advertisements he used to give me the paper they afternoon Monday tape they had a bigger home the others must have been a bigger job no I threw it away but it wasn't a job there's something cut out in the fifth page the fresh page you come along with me and pack the Nero Wolfe okay go I gotta just the hallway in answer the door balance telephone I can go I'll take care of that you know maybe as soon as this girl gets the Nero Wolfe the sooner the case is settled and naturally this one of the case is settled the sooner I go on medication and the sooner I go on my vacation the sooner you and I get married see you later baby that's a copy of the paper of the collar cut the story out of oh that's fine now let's see what collar was interested in at this stage I'll bet your quarter I can take a story it's event League of Nations report on Ethiopia ready for powers mrs. Roosevelt addresses young mothers River rights hearings set by United States buddy boys playing wrong the world trip on a 30-foot bull gangsters tear gas down of a Brooklyn flat that's the story and put my two-bit son bring in that housemaid ma a lady did you read the story in the paper about some gangsters being gassed out of a Brooklyn hideout in Greenpoint sure I read about that payoff Archie if she read it couldn't have been the story Carlo cut out you'd rather win a quarter from me than a 25,000 bucks fate from a multimillionaire and now young lady can you show me on this newspaper where the piece was cut out oh you mean up here yeah that's right River rights here lease it by an Einsteins party we can eliminate that me a peon Archie let me have your knife watching [Applause] is that the way the paper was cut yeah that's the way thank you very much young lady I promised you a couple of bucks no why don't you pay it I didn't promise it to her what is it what's the story cut out [Applause] that's one for the book a mug like Carlo cutting out a story about a college professor kickin off now my theory about Carlo I'm thinking never mind your theory give this money to Marie she's waiting downstairs what you're giving back money yes we told her we would find her brother forum but we can't do that the only thing we can find is his body the police will probably do that for us you see Carlo didn't just disappear he died and he didn't just die he was murdered give her this money - she probably needed to bury him with well how do you work that out this story in the paper rain about Carlo it's about a college professor oh the professor oh that poor fellow didn't just drop dead no he was murdered too why do you think so hot I thought never look at all the thinkin why does he think they were married you know we'll think that everybody two guys is muddy but the doctor said he died of heart thing what's your diagnosis housemaids me for you Archie no I need by nothing it says it's for me golf clubs aren't they swell I think mr. wolf what important oh they finally came upstairs what's the idea bring them up to the parlor I want to find out how to use them Sinan ippolit he thinks it's like pool what are those bats were the big knobs on them it's not a bat it's a club and it's not a knob it's a hat Oh what is that on the front of it it's not the front it's the face head face remarkable watch the bullseye thing there that match the point of the impact that's where the ball is hit by the face of the club head now would you please pretend you are impacting the ball I'm now about to drive the ball never mind doing a jig I am getting my expense the main ringing that Bell has a badge only policemen letter carries and firemen real Bell with so much authority and Suribachi I want to see mr. wolf on lieutenant already okay we don't mind go on in lieutenant I Grady and he's got a badge person a lieutenant I'll be within a few minutes go ahead with the Gulf West notching [Applause] hey I come here on business yes I know about column Angola you identify this body today and you want to know what we've taken from his room sit down for a minute please all right I've to go ahead hey yes and I haven't any time to waste lieutenant what this young man is trying to do may look crazy but it's important now he can't go on with it unless there's perfect silence what go ahead Archie now do that over and over now turn around that was very careless of you I'll have to charge you for that lamp I'll do that again but have a little more regard for my personal property this time you did that with too much fury now govern yourself and do it much slower very slowly slower than mine still slow what am I supposed to be a slow-motion cartoon exactly now do that again that's all our team they give me some morphine this girl was very tired no what is it you want lieutenant well about that Marin Goler case they found his body bad heart just quit on him and bad lieutenant I'll bet you a new Derby had any color you like that you'll find Carla Marin goal his heart was as sound as a dollar and so was professor Bastos an autopsy will show you that he and Carla were murdered and by the same method white you're crazy that's not the issue that confronts us and now remember Carla was a metalworker a gunsmith now this club looks like a gun doesn't it yeah and the shaft is howling like the barrel of a gun yeah the curved head here like the stock with a handle of a pistol now my guess is the collar was told by someone to make a gun that would fire a small bullet maybe a needle and make it out of a driver like this one now this insert would make a perfect place for a trigger a spring in here would turns into an air rifle a hole in here we let the bullet or the needle be fired now then what's this will my stance do watch it look pretty good for a beginner now when I swing down to hit the balls so the end of this homemade gun is pointing right above my waistline waistline it's an imaginary line like the equator the ball releases a spring here and the bullet or needle is fired and finds its mark here you want us to make an autopsy and I guess like that we wouldn't think of it well I know you wouldn't but now that I thought of it for you go ahead let's just the police today applied for an order to exhume the body professor ngg Bosco and enough it to determine whether the lay person Wilson College met that through natural causes always made it the first hint that foul play was suspected in that the deaths of professor Barstow and calamari guru willing came from the tenant O'Grady the Westchester County police not so grainy grabbing boughs I wish you get that great brain to work on the problem of when are we going to get married we'll get married what after much so that onion soup smells delicious onion soup you're the one who found out was a mater it ought to be a cinch for you to grab the guy did it you think I solve murders for fun my interest is only aroused by the fee just now my mind is on onion soup alright then get a load of this mrs. bast oh the widow of the dead man issued a statement offering a $50,000 reward for the apprehension of the murderer should the autopsy show that Professor Barstow is the victim of foul play $50,000 well what are you waiting for why this dilly-dally you want an engraved invitation to call on mrs. bast oh well get going SIA get it off of the reward in writing on my tombstone they're going to write shed kids amazing ray because she's a bride-to-be that never was no no no I'm working on she the same technique we used on the model for a case you're stopped the birds and I'll dig up the worms [Applause] gee mr. wolf this is terrible you separating a man and wife debate Maisie I hope you'll be happily married for 50 years if you are an hour - more or less one way or the other will make a particle of difference [Applause] I meant what I said here's my offer the reward in writing you can save time by making out the check right now wolf always gets his man he won't get his man this time I can tell you that then why'd you offer the reward my purpose doesn't come within the realm of your understanding don't worry about that between wolf and me we understand everything you know what we did in the mailroom raider case no I do of course not that's one beyond your understanding we only had a crushed up Daisy for a clue you're a disturbing element in this house go now but I'm going to work in this case I expect some cooperation I want to ask you just two questions who wanted to kill Barstow and hores enemies and won't gain something from his death those are three questions mr. Goodwin and I'll answer them all nobody nobody nobody but you promised me you wouldn't see anyone today you were going to rest it's all right there this is mr. Goodwin my daughter Ellen mr. Roberts hi you shouldn't have come here like this my mother is no condition to be interviewed mr. Goodwin isn't a newspaper man he's a detective he's associated with that Nero Wolfe person the district attorney just told me about you you're making a newspaper sensation out of my father's death my father wasn't murdered he didn't have an enemy in the world no but I do know who's responsible for his death mother well I do know please no mrs. boss was very upset she doesn't realize what she's saying who did it the one who's been responsible for everything that happens in my life no one's wise enough to out with him who her man sir killed him who a man sir he pulls the strings and we obey whoever he is I wanna see him you'll have your chance now to meet him face to face that's some answer that commander so your father is out of town now mr. Kim yes but I'm sure if they knew a great detective was going to call upon him he just stayed home the sealed when did he leave don't you even know that he left Sunday night by plane he's in Chicago at the Blackbird hotel room five away for breakfast he has two soft-boiled they gained out for these trivialities when is he coming back now look here my dear fellow you're supposed to do the guessing around here not me at the risk of being impolite I'd say he's coming back what he gets good and ready he might come back long before that if mr. Wilson vestigation 's happen to implicate him for you you said it was a heart attack VIN you I have no reason to alter my diagnosis but that's not what mr. wolf thinks I'm not interested in his opinion but you should be because mr. wolf was right it will be very embarrassing for you you better be careful if he cos the newest persons on my professional reputation our interest in reputations it's all cold take you with him and before he's finished he'll know every monkey got when you graduated from Medical School if he did graduate I have advised mrs. Barstow to withdraw her awful reward are you a lawyer or a doctor mrs. Barstow what are your feelings in the matter when I offered the reward I know I did I'd have to deal with people like mr. Goodwin here he behaved like a crazy man in other words mr. wolf this investigation has got to stop door knob doctor I don't tell you how to look for microbes so please don't tell me how to look for murderers I declare a man dies of heart failure and you have a brazen effrontery to tell me that my diagnosis is incorrect oh please doctor all deaths are not caused by heart failure I'm speaking of angina pectoris and I know the difference between angina pectoris and murder and if the autopsy proves that my diagnosis is correct I'm going to seal you and mr. Goodwin for all the money you have but you'll get from me you'll have to fight out in a small claims court mrs. boss tells tox you're on her own behalf for the mental anguish you caused her if anybody else starts to sue I have to get changed for a quarter miss Ellen bar stone mr. Claude Roberts wants to see you mr. wolf I'll bring them in won't you sit down I didn't know you'd be here mother you shouldn't have let her come don't treat me like a child Ellen I believe what you are really doing is using this business as a camouflage that when you've all the information you want you'll make use of it for your own purpose what I have in mind is known by a very ugly name blackmail where are you coming under the door family gathering mr. Roberts I was with professor Barstow when he was killed that's really something for you to worry about mr. manure Kimberly's outside there's always room for one more I hope you'll pardon me mr. wolf I must leave shishi yes I have a golf lesson to give it the club don't you stay and take me home you can go home with your mother in the doctor Ellen [Applause] won't you sit down mr. Kimball you know everyone I must send this telegram Archie get this off right away with you [Applause] I've come to notify you personally that if any of your insinuations against me or my father get into the newspapers I shall hold you responsible in a damage suit only me if they're going to see watch a good one too you have to add it all of us for this that seems very clear by now you haven't been in Westchester long have you no before that in the Argentine I was born there your father AJ Kimball that is Emmanuel Jeremiah Kimball isn't it yes that's my father's name dad then you must be the little boy I'm afraid I don't understand it it's really nothing i'ma still insist that professor pastor was murdered by one of us is that why you sent for us but I didn't send for any of you and we were very foolish to come here professor Barstow died of heart failure he certainly was not murdered hello yes uh-huh all right thank you very much goodbye that was the district attorney the autopsy shows without a doubt that Professor Bosco was murdered by a poison needle Sherratt writing right here it's nice to have seen all of you so after spending 87 cents for gas 42 cents for oil and driving all the way up to the West Hills Golf Club you find that the young man who was breaking his neck to get out here and give a golf lesson wasn't there am I wrong or did you send me to find him no or not to find him if I thought he was going to be that I wouldn't have sent you where do I go now why do you have to go anyplace Archie you are a victim of the nomadic instincts of the tribal days in this 20th century it's a waste of time to go out if you want to talk to somebody you'll pick up a telephone if you want to find out what's going on in the world you read a newspaper if you want to listen to fine music you tune in your radio on the symphony concerts if you want sunlight to turn on the ultraviolet ray if it's a hot day and you want to be cool press a button and turn on a fan if you foolish enough to to believe in exercise you can always ride a mechanical horse food meat drinks are brought to your door you can even buy it closed by me the streets are always crowded with people hopping back and forth back and forth tiring themselves rushing to nowhere good chance for us to rush out and get married I got the ring and alight yeah this is the big moment wait a minute Archie there's a sinister looking man prowling around what he's looking in the front window you better go down and see what he wants mm-hmm maybe a suspect [Applause] looking for salmon I want to see mr. wolf but I didn't want disturb him if he is busy nothing disturbs mr. wolf on is always busy come on in good evening mr. Roberts you can go Maisie I need Archie tonight but you'll be married tomorrow no wonder your mother named you Nero I I'm here sir because I think I owe you an explanation you're here because you didn't go to the golf club as you said you were going this afternoon that's what I want to explain if you'll remember I let her to Manuel Kimball arrived Mack fact of the matter is I don't like it so I don't like to be in the same room with him why the cost of an incident that happened some time ago I hesitated telling you about a mr. Wolff but I've heard it your reputation I knew you'd find out about us sooner or later anyway oh sit down repeat that for Archie please I hate it well up until a year ago I was the golf instructor at the American Club Moyna series young mr. Kimble was a member there when his father came to the Argentine last year he was a guest the club all man Kimble you know hasn't it in South America for years then one day several hundred dollars was stormed mr. Kimball's locker I had keys to all the lockers young mr. Kimble charged me with stealing the money I was dismissed from the club and left South America under clouds it's all very interesting but I hardly see what it has to do with the case we're working on well I want to explain to you why I left so hurriedly you see Sir I've got a bad temper I was a figure Kimball might make me lose it I've owed him and looking for a long time and someday I'm gonna give it to him why did you come back here skulking around peering into my windows I want to see if Kimball was here see what he was telling you about me um my fiancee Oh her mother what was there to tell nothing nothing more than I've already told I was worried the trouble was worrying mr. Roberts is that we worried about the wrong thing I once knew a man who worried morning noon and night about his indigestion a few months later he died in the electric chair I mustn't get away from the subject how do you feel about Kimball senior he was very gracious about the whole affair of course I didn't help much after I was fired how did the people in Buenos Aires feel about Kimball senior and junior whatever you want to know about the Kimball's you'll have to find out for yourself Thank You mr. Roberts I'll be seeing you again soon I hope come in anytime and next time come right in don't play peeping tom that gives me an idea really don't you think we ought to find the missing golf club the one that killed Bosco oh let the police find O'Grady you'll be around here bragging about this remarkable world the way to get your money in this business Archie is not by finding the missing evidence but by finding the murderer I have an idea we'll invite some other people from the West Hills Golf Club but there might be fingerprints on the golf club the only fingerprints on that golf club will be your greatest I'm going up there anyway and have a look around go ahead hello operator get me the West Hills Golf Club in Westchester huh [Applause] the chief must have become a Scoutmaster these are young friends of mine caddies from the West Hills Golf Club as Johnny there's Tommy in the hill and my boy who should have had them here three days ago I saw a gray tee they found the club no fingerprints sorry you're late we had squab stuffed with wild rice but I've got a special little treat fixed up for you amazing Frank for this sauerkraut and moist it just like Coney Island except you haven't get the sand in your shoes the boys here have been educating me about God let's be have to admit that something you don't know oh I know all about it now the Johnny it was the professor's caddy yeah he was my baby yeah baby you look sort of young to be a father proving I know more about girls now than you when a player likes a certain tenían won't take any other he's that baby how Tommy here can it for mr. Roberts and Bill Cabot for young Kimball and Mike for all mayor Kimball Oh baby now what we fellas are going to do is pretend it's that same Sunday afternoon the bags are over your shoulders your players were waiting to tee off I suppose when the starter says you're next you fellows were together exchanging gossip and your babies were a group by themselves no sir it wasn't that way at all the professor mr. Robert remenham play a twosome you're all ready to start when the Caddy master comes up and says we have to make it a foursome because of being sent is too crowded for twosomes oh I see and now where was the professor standing and now this is the professor you show me where he was this is the stopping team well this is a professor was right next to the team yeah well where was his caddy he sent me up to the clubhouse for his eye shape and what were you doing while Johnny was standing by his baby I was chewing gum you were chewing gum weren't you doing anything else yes I was blowing bubbles with it you were chewing gum and anything else sure I was holding young mr. Kimball's bag when did the professor tee off when he was third and mr. Robertson young mr. Kendall were ahead of him I see and I suppose you handed the professor his driver yes sir no I couldn't have done that this is me here and I will be I get in his eyes shade and I've got his bag with me I know I know yeah yeah he Bartle man Kimball's driver no no he didn't Barlet oh man Kimball offered it to him you sure about that yes yeah not on that oh man Kimber was driving off first he took out his driver's here use mine gee that's right maybe did you're sure you got that straight now I didn't come back in till old man kill me with maybes drive that's swell boy that's swell don't try to fool a detective so it wasn't the professor you wanted a matter at all with old man Kimball because whoever put the club in oh man Timbo's bag couldn't have that any idea that the professor was gonna use it an old man Kimball would have been six feet under the side right now and the professor hadn't borrowed his driver no I yes is that one for the book so we got to start all over again still playing hide and seek but now the question is who wanted a killed thimble did you ever read a small-town paper aren't you they're very interesting no and I don't try to grow white orchids see that I thought we were working on a made a case you aren't but I am you're just rehashing everything that we already know you're living in the past and I suppose you can tell the future I can tell you from this very interesting social chatter of Westchester that John J Driscoll the famous lawyer is moving into his new colonial house and celebrating the event with a big party that Miss Mary Hastings who spent the weekend with her parents mr. and mrs. Jonathan Hastings returned to Vassar and Monday and that mystery J Kimball will arrive from Chicago tonight I can also tell you that it's your job to find out what train is coming in on and to get on that train at the Hobbiton 25th Street Station unless you prefer to meet him with his friends and perhaps his enemies at the Grand Central Station [Laughter] so the thing for you to do mr. Kimball is to quietly come along with us in the same narrow wolf your wolf I don't know and you're not missing anything young man if you think I've got time to wait they're never phonetic you think she knows more about my business than I do myself you're mistaken I'm a very busy man now mr. Kimball you may be the number one man in the olive oil business but to me you're just big cap number three and a medalist everybody has you tagged as the man who killed Bosco we're the only ones who know that you miss being murdered by such a half-hearted a lot of twaddle that's one thing that always bothered me just wanted to idle keep quiet well I guess we've done all we can if you insist on being courts I suppose that's your business but remember this you handed that golf club out of your bag to Professor Barstow and you know what happened to him but walking miss nero wolfe do for me nothing except keep you alive unless you're tired of the door ha ha a lot of thwarted you can't make it twelve just by saying so now my advice to you mr. Kimball is to walk out a Grand Central Station with Maisie on one of them and me on the other Williams take these things home I have some business from doing town now I'll tell you why I can't get mr. Wolfe I came here to tell you that everything that you and this young man here have said is wild mr. Wolfe I haven't an enemy in this world no please mr. Kimble I wish you'd manage to stick to the facts if you would use that golf club you'd be dead someone wanted to murder you sure you're living on borrowed time there's nothing that leads me to suppose that he still doesn't want to kill you frankly mr. Kimble it's none of my business unless you wish to make it so by retaining me I'm sorry mr. Wolfe but I'm not convinced besides I'm fatal it Emerson said that there were two kinds of fatalist the first one wakes up in the middle of the night his a burglar downstairs and says what fate decrees must be turns over and goes back to sleep the second one says if they decrees that I shall be murdered I shall be murdered no matter what I do so I'll go downstairs and try and knock his head off I advise you to be in the second kind hello who wants to speak to its so greedy yes certainly oh that's very interesting you don't know quite how interesting that is yeah that's a good idea all right thank you I'm very glad I met you mr. wolf and I feel fully entertained for the time I've wasted well I think you'd be interested to know about that telephone call it was from lieutenant O'Grady of the police force your car has been wrecked and your chauffeur is dead killed by the bite of a further Lance evidently placed in your car Thanks what did him a fer-de-lance probably the most poisonous snake in the world mr. Kimble continued all about it they're more common in the Argentine you're right somebody's trying to kill me you gotta help me don't you realize the dividing in that car I'd be dead now well why do you think we brought you here I'll do anything you want me to fine Archie take mr. Kimball over to the a McAndrews hotel registered under your name mr. Kimball I'll send for you when I need you and Archie before you leave mr. Kimball of the hotel he'll give you a check okay young man I have no intention of telling you anything the reason I brought you here was to have you tell me a few things now we're not playing any games here and this is no time for you to be Noble and say that you won't talk about the affairs of the Kimball's because if it's true that you have nothing against mr. kimball senior this is your chance to help him now what happened in South America alright I'll tell you mr. Kimble was tried for the murder of his wife he was acquitted the details what was the kind of story women like to gab about over tea cups I don't know the details except that after he was acquitted left South America and never went back into last year it was something about another man did you ever hear of a fer-de-lance oh yes it's a snake the most poisonous snake of the tropics did you have a tea one no thank you now let's see you were in South America old man Kimble lived there and his son was there of course has anybody else involved in this case ever been to South America well have they all haven't they I think mr. wolf that Ellen Barstow was born there but she came to this country when she was just a baby we already know that your daughter was born in South America that is the reason we brought you here what I want to know is did you know mr. Manuel Jake Kimball in Buenos Aires why should I know him well you were both there at the same time it only seems natural that you might have met I've never spoken two words mr. Kimball in my life you were married to the late professor Barstow in 1928 weren't you that's eight years ago yes what was your first husband mrs. Barstow was previously married with mr. Henderson well I don't see what that's gonna do it please please I'm the doctor here was your first husband in South America with you when your daughter was born yes did you leave there together and come back to the States no did your husband die there mr. Wulf you'll be needlessly cruel he can't tell you what happened to her first husband no one knows whether he's alive or dead oh yes just someone who knows amantha amantha knows everything why don't you ask um answer your questions he'll tell you why I hate mr. Kimball they tell you what happened to my first husband you tell you whose hands are stained with blood your father was charged with the murder of your mother he was tried in the quitter all I want to know is do you believe him give me nobody who knows him please and guilty even the newspapers of that time agree that my mother was killed by mrs. Barlow's first husband he disappeared on the day of her death my father suffered a great deal because of this in the past he's almost forgotten it surely you can gain nothing by opening up old wounds I'm afraid opening up old wounds is my business now I've got to ask you some very personal questions about your family history mr. wolf I prefer that you find out what you want to know from someone else very well I will if you don't tell me everything I want to know I must withdraw from the case all right mr. wolf the old story I was wearing our trip I came back a day too soon there was my wife and mrs. Fausto his first husband a man named Henderson next day my wife was found dead the other man who disappeared I was trying for murder I was acquitted I left South America stayed away 15 years meantime my son had left school he'd grown to manhood I wanted him with me so I went back to get him mr. Kimball when you first came in here you said that nobody would want to kill you I can tell you five maybe six people that had a motive that's impostor son what motive revenge he thinks you were the murderer of his mother and might want to avenge your death second mrs. bast oh this is motive revenge you say her first husband disappeared he thinks you killed him as well as your wife number three Ellen Barstow motive revenge and for the same reason as the mother number four dr. Bradford number five Claude Roberts motive his love for Ellen Barstow and his disgrace in South America at your hands number six and member seats what about mr. Henderson mrs. Bastos first husband you say he disappeared you have no reason to believe in dead have you no I haven't that's rather an odd question to ask of men most people believe guilty of his murder but let us suppose he did disappear suppose he reappears what person does he want to meet most in all the world you isn't that right mr. Kimball yes I suppose it is that's what might be mrs. masters first husband now there's another possibility an entirely different direction that might mean we're barking up the wrong tree I don't understand that you had motive enough to kill professor Barstow I wouldn't but you had a motive revenge on mrs. bast oh she and her first husband nearly wrecked your life you could have had that chauffeur killed to make people think that you were an intended victim rather than the murder for you see mr. Kimble we know now from the police chemists report that the mysterious poison that killed professor Barstow and Carlo Maren Gora was the venom of the third Lance the same poison that killed your chauffeur please don't believe that you could have killed Karla marigold on that normally was just a street but I didn't I'm only outlining possibilities but make sure of this mr. Kimble if you did that check you gave me won't help you Archie mr. Kimble is going home now and you're going with him don't let him out of your sight be prepared to stay a month if necessary a month what amazing sake Maceo say when are we going to get married you'll go to jail what do you mean I go to jail I'm the guy who sends other people at jail not when you're playing Monopoly you see this game was really designed for the tired businessman who isn't quite tired enough I think it might interest you to play I beg you my son however a doomed a certain thing dinner is ready sir oh sure let's play a couple of rounds phrase 10 oh all right well then I'll begin hi Oh knitting railroad that's not a bad investment for $200 our by running railroad $200 you go next so I get the idea the natural what does that mean chance that means he had to take one of those chance cards and do whatever it says you won second prize in a beauty contest collect $11 if either drawing that card I didn't own this was fake money now let's go to dinner what do you mean in my row I'd die of suspense come on come on get up $200 your throat ah dinner is very ready sir Oh at 8 o'clock I'm hungry oh come on let's finish the game one two three four five six seven eight nine ten you are my hotel two thousand dollars please well I can pay you three railroads that breaks me take the round Julie I'm going to work on you now fine you're on the railroad three all the railroads they get a monopoly $200 please the kids trying to make it Gentiles broke now what do I do with all this dope now we change that into the real money that you want ten cents from each of us 20 cents J don't tell me or a wolf about this or will expect me to give him half dinner is ruined so and so other Kimball's I've never been beaten at this game before you know you've got a very good business sense never thought about going into business Macy's been talking at you that's what he want stay where you are when it comes toward to school man oh you're her father they were long no I'm all right I hate my hate he's getting away [Applause] [Music] [Music] he must be a nourish shell by now fancy meeting you here you're lucky you weren't shot somebody tried to shoot my father we chased after him but by the time we got Milan he was gone Hey there was a woman who came through that hedge and got into a car did she have a gun I filled with Wonder the black one a black one I didn't ask right after the chats and went over to the blasto house yeah mrs. pasta was there but it looked like she just came in what about the daughter she was out with rabbits I didn't want to call from the house so I'm using a pay station a page station when you better talk fast then well I told you everything Oh an amazing said it was a woman who came out of the house amazing are you working on a case are you up there on the house party well I didn't tell it I can't I ran out of the house and boom there she was now look don't waste your time talking round up all those people scare them to death if you have to tell them any one of them is have to be shot at mixed and get them down here tonight rounding out that punch will be worse than chasing a lot of rabbits you got your orders now get to work hello chief yes operator what do you want 20 cents more you may not realize it lady but here go the profits on a boardwalk hotel four railroads in an entire public utility system money sense more why you know this isn't the Luc's method of traveling to which you are accustomed but my orders what did Olivia de niro wolf safe and sound like a break on our own car because it's easier to protect the flock of sheep than six cannon ones that's a good name for and waters a good name for your employer we allow ourselves to be hunted like this because wolf says were in danger well I don't believe it neither do I then when you come for the buggy ride or the pleasure of my delightful company personally I don't care whether you ride jump or fly but if I'd allowed you to come in your own cars and one of you got bumped off it would have placed me in a very embarrassing predicament now any more questions yes yeah I know when are we gonna get married good evening mr. Waldron it was nice of you to do this for my father well all present and accounted for excellent I can't tell you how pleased I am to see each one of you come safely through that door I had a premonition at least one of you might not get here alive utterly fantastic and suppose I get an emergency call from one of my patients tonight you're only trying to frighten us I've only come here mr. Walter tell you I'm not going to stay if the rest of you have been through what we have this evening you might not be so impatient with mr. Wolff if there's any danger I want to be with my father that's why I'm here and I'm here because I'm here I'm sorry if I disturbed the everyday routine of your lives but I thought it was necessary if I were giving a party I think I could have found more compatible guests but professor Barstow Carlo and the chauffeur have been murdered and we've had conclusive evidence tonight in the fourth attempt that our murderer is not yet finished his plan might have been to kill all of you now all arrangements have been made you will each be assigned or a safe comfortable room your meals will be provided you'll be charged for them of course and for the room and Archie will do whatever bell hopping is necessary what Archie will now show you to your rooms of course if any of you wish to leave I can't force you to stay I am touched by your faith in me and I guarantee you this that as long as you stay under this roof you'll be perfectly safe arching right this way [Applause] all Quiet on the Western Front I just tucked the last one in bed now where do I sleep I wouldn't forget you Archie or if we'll fix you a bed right here on the table or I'll take these things away what am i dented to say this it's only for the night because within 24 hours this case will be finished the murderers in this house and no murderer as he kissed across the bed we are dealing with could possibly refuse to accept our challenge goodnight Archie and my sweet dreams the virtue [Laughter] and this was to be my wedding night [Applause] someone calling you Archie Holmes at the sink the mystery of the missing so cool who ate the cake don't rub it in this is the last time we gotta wash dishes for that cloud wolf said last night that he cracked this case in 24 hours if you are a nice respectable furniture salesman instead of playing dishwasher to a lot of cutthroats you'd be home sit in a comfortable chair smoking your pipe with your slippers on at ease with the world which reminds me when are we going to get married no kidding five minutes after this case is over I won't be a detective any longer I'm gonna quit wolf you only know what she Goodwin the detective you don't know watch either the Romeo baby when the moon is shining over Brooklyn and Coney Island is just around the corner you and I will be walking hand-in-hand along that stolid way Archie the coffee please please Archie take the coffee upstairs if it gets cold mr. wolf grows up the ropes alright tell me more auntie before I get cold it'll be springtime in Flatbush and the rubber trees will be stretching themselves in front of our door and you'll have a flower box in front of every window with with dahlias and geraniums maybe sunflowers you may even go poison ivy but I'll tell you one thing baby there'll be no orchids certainly a very fine dinner mr. wolf Oh Archie let me have another of those cigars eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may may die go ahead and say it there's a young lady here mr. booth who is it Olaf our young lady mr. horn what is it Murray young lady Murray we'll bring her in you'll forgive me but I must see this young lady come in Murray we'll go into the next room I know my guests will excuse me have you found out anything mr. wolf now my dear Marie I don't know yet who killed your brother what if you do exactly what I tell you we know by 12 o'clock you know I'll do anything to help you mr. wolf I know you will that's why I sent for you now my plan is very simple mr. wolf pays all his cooks himself if you think olive can cook you can see the meals we have here and the cooks they are terrific why the chief can take a nickels worth of baloney a couple of onions in a potato and do things with him that'll make desperate the world or green with envy [Applause] that's the only thing we need Murray you bring us that information in our case we'll be complete that all our guests will be able to go home there wait with our to the telephone I don't want you to be wasting any time [Applause] hello and that's the general taxi service this is nero wolfe talking i want you to send the car to my house right away and take a young lady to what is the obsession a twenty eight West 17th Street eight twenty eight West 17th Street yes hey you leave her there then go back and pick her up at twelve o'clock alright Charles thank you very much goodbye in Albury you go downstairs and have olive give you a cup of hot coffee while you're waiting for your car huh well you won't have to stay here much longer that young lady is going to be the man who worked with her brother that man is going to give her a complete description of the person that hired carlo to make the golf club to kill professor Bosco why didn't he give it to her over the telephone why does he have to see her they give it to her you know I asked myself that very same question he'll be answered very simply he wanted $500 Matt just gave it to it now there's nothing more to worry about when Marie comes back we'll find out who the murderer is and now if you'll excuse me I'll go upstairs and work on another case the most beautiful one I've ever tackled you see I'm trying to develop a pure white orchid if any of you are interested come right up that was a very smart move chief I could see what you were doing down there then it must have been obvious Oh only to a trained mind you told him that story about Carlos sister figuring that whoever did the murder would make a beeline for the house and you had the house watch now no Archie our murder is too smart to be caught in a trap so obvious that even you could see it now that isn't a trick it all well what are you gonna do now chief I think I'll go downstairs get something to eat I'm hungry hungry wait I just ate a whole turkey yeah but it was a small one they cannot harm me I have dined today six times did Archie tagging he was going into the furniture business that's what he belonged now chief that's a fine way to talk after I've given you the best years of my life what makes you think I belong in the furniture business oh maybe you're right maybe you don't belong the furniture business what's wrong with the furniture business there's a great future in the furniture business in interior decorating there are new ideas in it that people need take this place for example it's old-fashioned it'll be done over in modern style nowadays the thing to be is simple simple really Archer you have a great career ahead of you for you mr. Moore rocking bones are you finished yes wait tikki it's a bank gets more onion Archie let us be calm but it's a bond that's it quick before it blows us out let me handle this bomb it was sent to me personally now sit down all of you please I wonder who could have sent it namida e he wants to blow us up while you're asking dizzy questions it'll explode in your face Nachi our murderer is far too clever to advertise his bomb with a loud tick but he underestimates us he thought we were going to put it in mortar right away that's just what he wanted us to do I wonder why I give up I know [Applause] smells like peaches amazing you're the best detective of resolve of course it smells like peaches there's a certain deadly chemical that does now do you see what would have happened Archie what time is the clock set for the clock has nothing to do with it if we had been fooled by the loud ticking of the clock and plunged this package into this pan of water the mixture of the water and the chemical would have formed the gas that would have killed us before we could have reached that door oh I know that's the stuff they use for executions exactly Oh give me that piece of string now the thing to do is to tie this package up exactly as if I weighed on with that stuff I'm going to my room I'll see you at 12 o'clock don't let anybody disturb me the seed of the orchid is microscopic there are millions of them in a single seed pod now we incubate the seed in bottles on a layer of paga eight to 18 months then we remove the sprout and place it in these little paths it takes from four to eight years to get a broom from the Cinco seed of an orchid now third mean mr. wolf this package came before I forgot to give it to you from the southern greenhouse did I already thing from a southern greenhouse watch it well not since the 10th of last month maybe they're sending me some complimentary bulbs now that's nice of them or I don't know but mr. wolf de box they make a funny noise noise man they go tick tick tick tick listen mr. wolf it's a bomb you better get in the other right away there's a train bomb it's time to go off any minute stable yeah every one of you Archie stand next to him watch him this isn't a thumb none of us has an enemy crude enough to send the bomb that way when we could escape it by simply putting it in my water trough but this young man suggest is the thing we ought not to do I don't know what's in this package but whatever it is the person that said it wants us to put it in the water how did you know it was a bomb I heard it ticking did you ever see their handwriting before alright mr. wolf give me that bomb don't anybody move mr. wolf you're a whole lot smarter than I thought you're right about that package being deadly only when it's been put in the water you've been right all along I never meant to kill professor Barstow I meant to kill the man who murdered my mother I had to kill Karl Mayr Angola because he threatened me with exposure and I didn't want to be exposed until I have killed my father how to kill him the night he got back into town if it hadn't been for your interference mr. Goodwin so an innocent man a chauffer died in this place ever since I was a small boy I dreamed about this moment I grew up for it they still laughed myself to sleep on the boat coming up from South America because I knew that in my bag was a fer-de-lance the most loathsome snake in the world and I thought it only fitting that that snake should kill you but now now you're going to die this way instead all right go get him Archie what's that gun you don't suppose I'd leave a loaded gun on the table lid come in boys the bomb the chemicals the gas the puzzles the same alarm clock how does an 18 beer bottle camps in some syphilis problem oh by the way I used a ball I had give me some more tomorrow [Applause] I'm sorry I had to make a goat out of you for a minute but I had to divert attention that was all right it was the first time I've smiled in seven and a half days there's one thing I don't understand chief Manuel was with us the night the shot was fired the Kimball's don't tell me he was with us on the terrorists while he was shooting it himself from the garden at the same time every fire those shots very nice work making me a target the bullet whizzed right past my ear [Laughter] [Laughter] hiya chief boy I know you were married to 1040 this morning at the little church around the corner I think you can tell the time on his face and the place down god bless you my children you know there's an old-fashioned custom that must be adhered to but going out and preparing a partner now and we're going to Coney Island three week on the honeymoon and now she's going to start come here with a furniture salesman why'd you call me out on on your honeymoon call me either there's no place to go on army mornings you're going to Paris my wedding present the bridal suite on the Ile de France and you sail at midnight do you really mean there are the tickets oh gee chief that's swell I'm gonna kiss you again be a great help to when you start selling furniture you could talk about all those antiques if a girl can you imagine me on the Eiffel Tower Oh marvelous orgy and there's something I want you to do for me on the way over yeah I just had a cable from London a very wealthy gentleman on the last voyage over who occupied the cabin 68 on deck be supportive committed suicide and you think he was murdered now you'll find all the details in this envelope now he was travelling along is that so now I want you to talk to the steward and the person and everybody find out what he did every day but hey what he drank and who his friends were on board anything else - no nothing else just cable me anything that looks unimportant to you [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: evanlewis1836

Views: 240,548

Keywords: Nero Wolfe, Mystery films, Rex Stout

Id: fHCoB_zrOE4

Length: 71min 23sec (4283 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 02 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/The_Match_Maker]

What is perhaps most interesting about this particular adaptation is how much they keep from the books as well as how much they change.

Wolfe is still supercilious. So too is he fat and a shut in. He also keeps his mania for orchids.

However, this version of Wolfe is more gregarious, as well as more of a penny pincher.

It is perhaps Archie who undergoes the biggest change. While it might be said that he's still a ladies man, he's very much all about a single lady. What's more, this version of the character has none of the suave nature that he does in the books, but is rather a crude 'everyman,' more along the lines of Fred.

And then there's Mazie! A brand new character who, while not out of place in the genre, sticks out in a Nero Wolfe story like a sore thumb.

Which goes to the core of the issue with the film. The entire tone is very much in keeping with the light mystery genre of the time, but does not suit Nero Wolfe. There's a Thin Man-esque vibe to the entire proceeding that doesn't fit this intellectual property. Comparing it to the 2001 series is like looking at the property through some kind of funhouse mirror.

It's like watching some weird off brand version of Nero, rather than the genuine article itself.