- (sighs heavily) You're
a therapy machine. You're going to therapize good tonight. You're going to be the best therapist a therapist will ever ask for. You're going to do great. (door opening)
- So I was thinking we can tackle
- What the (beep). - Ultra Smash next. This game
- What the (beep). - left me traumatized.
- Who gave you my address? Why are you here? What the (beep).
- So just Wait, wait, wait. Let's go one at a time. You first. - What the (beep) are you
doing here in my house? - Okay. Fair question. Now it's my turn. I was hoping we could bang
out some more therapy. You are a therapist. I'm (chuckles) traumatized. It all works out. - I can't give you therapy right now. It's day time. I'm a night therapist. - Don't my credits transfer over? - Listen, I didn't become a therapist to hear you vent about amigo festival. - "Amiibo Festival". - I'm not registered to
give advice about that. - Well then are you a
registered therapist at all? (awkward silence) - So tell me about that
dumb (beep) tennis game that hurt your feelings. - I don't know. I feel like you're only talking to me now, so then I don't tell anybody you're not registered to be a therapist. I feel like I almost have
to pay you to listen to me. - So it's therapy. - (laughs hesitantly) Yeah,
it's pretty much therapy. After "Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival", I decided it was time to move on to smaller and worse things. I was at my desk again. Hey y'all, Scott here. - Yes!
- What? - Oh, before every therapy session, I make predictions. I nailed that one. I'm really good at reading people. Just like, you're not pregnant. - How did you know? - Oh, I just kind of get this stuff. Like how I made a human
pregnancy test in high school. - Well, I'm still on a
quest to play through three of Nintendo's
worst games of all time. I just finished up "Animal
Crossing: Amiibo Festival" and my eyes can no longer feel joy, so let's check more
body parts off the list with "Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash". - Okay, so what was this game's deal? Was it good? - What do you think? - Based on the information,
it's hard to tell. What is an "ultra smash"? Is it a move in the game? Is it the game itself? Or is it just two words that have no business
being together at all. - Yes. - [Narrator] "Mario Tennis", one of the greatest series of games Nintendo's ever produced. - Somebody's probably said that before. - [Narrator] The Mario Pyramid
showcases the series' growth from simple beginnings
to (beep) everything. The character of Mario is so
understandable to the masses. You look at him and go, "Yeah, I'm comfortable." Everybody's played a Mario game and know they're all
about running and jumping and ending the sentence there. They're games people who don't
enjoy games can at least get and with Mario being such
a basic mascot character, you can throw him into
all kinds of settings and it would still make sense. Does he have a PhD? - No doubt. - [Narrator] Can he be a chef? - (hesitating) Yeah. - [Narrator] Has he renewed
his hunting license? - Hopefully. - [Narrator] He's a Jack of all trades and Nintendo usually puts him
into so many different genres because he's such a
good gateway character. If you weren't necessarily interested in a turn-based strategy game, well if they put Mario into it, it automatically feels a bit safer to try. He won't bite. When I see Mario on a cover to a game, I think simple, wacky
but well thought out fun. And it's no more obvious than
with the Mario sports games. Ever since the NES, Nintendo's been cramming
Mario into sports titles, starting with golf. That's our Mario. He looks more like an Uncle
Tony than a Super Mario, but apparently (pause), that's him! As time went on, Mario started appearing
in more of these games, whether they were starring
roles or just cameos, but when "Super Mario Kart" released, I'm sure Nintendo realized the
Mario brand was too lucrative to limit him to just a
simple cameo in these games. You've got to theme the
entire thing around him. So in 1995, the first Mario sports game completely based on and named
after the brand was released, "Mario's Tennis" on the Virtual Boy. It's his tennis. Released as a pack-in for the system, it was a Mario theme tennis game. Am I allowed to be disappointed? With a title like this, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but (pause) probably a little bit more. It was basic tennis and
it does that well enough, but when you put Mario in the name, I'm expecting something more wacky or more cartoony or more (pause) fun. Well, Scott, do I have a surprise for me? 1999 rolls around and
the "Mario Golf" series is formally introduced on
Nintendo 64 in Game Boy Color. With "Mario Tennis" getting
a shot at redemption on the exact same systems one year later. The Nintendo 64 Mario sports titles were fun and simple sports games, you could crack out at a
party and have a blast with. You can enjoy them as just sports titles, but they added the charm
of the Mario world, character, stages, items. These were games that brought
together sports and Mario fans or even attracted those
who weren't necessarily into either one. There are a ton of people
who don't care for sports, but love a good Mario sports game. The Game Boy Color versions
were vastly different and were more so RPGs. You control characters who
would got anything but Mario and tried to become the
golf or tennis masters. You can even connect the handheld games to the N64 ones to unlock things. They had some cool ideas back then before the idea of a Mario
sports game became so concrete. Now when Nintendo moved
on to their next console, the GameCube, Mario sports truly hit the next level. "Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour"
and "Mario Power Tennis". These were amazing upgrades, better in pretty much every
way to their predecessors. While "Mario Tennis" was
still quite a fun time on N64, "Power Tennis" added so
much in terms of characters, different courts with all
kinds of Mario themed gimmicks, special modes. It was incredible. Companion titles for the
Game Boy Advance release, that continued the RPG lineage
of the Game Boy Color games, and back on the Game Cube, we got two new sports series
as well, baseball and soccer. They have Mario sports titles were some of the go-to multiplayer party games. They were incredibly popular, so when the next system rolled around, - Oh! They really just sort of disappeared for a while. - You really are the human pregnancy test. - [Narrator] The Wii and Nintendo DS. You see these systems were
tailor-made for sports games. The Wii had a sports
game bundled in with it. They both had control
schemes that screamed, "Put a Mario sports game on me." And what did Nintendo do? They got Square Enix to make
a basketball game for the DS. - Why wouldn't they? - [Narrator] Made sequels
to "Baseball and "Strikers" on the Wii. "Mario Power Tennis" got
re-released in widescreen with motion controls and nothing else. And "Mario Sports Mix". Yay. So why did "Mario Golf" skip this console? Why did they just pour it
over an old "Mario Tennis"? Why did the DS get only one sports game? The lack of titles on the Wii, may be because many consumers
already had Wii Sports and most of the sports
included in the package have been Mario sports games in the past. To be fair, I wanted "Mario Super
Sluggers" when it came out, but I initially passed
on it because I went, "Well I have baseball and Wii sports, what's the point?" Maybe Nintendo thought
consumers wouldn't care for a new "Mario Golf" or "Mario Tennis" if they already had free alternatives that came with the console. But see, that's dumb logic. Sports games sold like
crazy on this system. If anything, people loved Wii bowling and golf so much, they'd immediately buy
garbage bowling and golf games just because they wanted more of it. Now why the DS had
barely any sports games. I don't know! But I mean it had
"Pac-Pix". Don't be greedy. Maybe "Mario and Sonic
at the Olympic Games" had something to do with it. No, we don't to make
new Mario sports games. Mario and Sonic will do the trick. But those were just sports
mini-game collections. They had charm no doubt but a collection of dozens of sports isn't going to have the
same amount of quality as a game that focuses
solely on one sport. Yeah, I'd say "Mario Sports Mix" was where the decline truly started to happen. It's not a bad game, but with it being four sports in one, with each not feeling nearly
as in depth as they should be, it just doesn't have the same quality as something like "Power
Tennis" or "Toadstool Tour", "Strikers" or "Super Sluggers". After "Sports Mix", we got "Mario Tennis
Open" on the Nintendo 3DS. - We did? - [Narrator] Yeah. This
is an often forgotten one. It's not bad. I mean, it was "Mario
Tennis" for Christ's sake. How could it be? It was just lacking in overall personality and ways to spice up the series. It just kind of felt like tennis with Mario flare and not much more, or at least that's what
most reviewers said. It's an alright game. I'd take this in comparison
to a lobotomy most days. - Something better than a lobotomy? - Most days. - [Narrator] It's just
not too enthralling. Now if we take a look
at "Mario Power Tennis", so much characters injected into this one. Look at all the courts. All the gimmicks. All the cut scenes. All the love! All of this was something
that was slowly but surely disappearing from the sports games. And instead of feeling like the developers were trying to make the most out of what a Mario sports game could be, by throwing in as many references and characters as possible, it felt like they were just
doing this for a paycheck. This was also the first Mario tennis game on a handheld that didn't
go for an RPG style. That's fine. I mean, those were cool games but I understand when
you hear "Mario Tennis", you probably think about the Nintendo 64 and Game Cube versions first, but it just kind of shows that instead of doing something
different or interesting, they'd rather just do
exactly what you would expect from a game called "Mario Tennis". Thankfully, "Mario Golf
World Tour" released for the 3DS two years later and this was a great time. So many different courses and modes. The gameplay mechanics were fun, understandable but had depth. I think the problem with
"Mario Tennis Open" was that it was simplifying
an already simple game. They took out the special character moves you could pull off from Power Tennis and instead have these
chance shots on the ground. They were just glowing spots, where if you performed the shot the game tells you to pull off, while standing near it, you'll pull off a more powerful hit. But in the end, that just means the game is all about following the glowy spot and doing the move it tells you to do. The power shots had so much character and were tons of fun
to watch and pull off. For them to be gutted like this, makes "Mario Tennis" less about Mario and way more about tennis. See out of all the four
major sports series, tennis is definitely my least favorite. Not because it's bad, but it's just the most basic playing sport after being turned into a video game. Go over here, hit the ball. Go over here, hit the ball. Go over here, hit the ball. At least "Mario Tennis" on the Nintendo 64 and "Power Tennis" on the Game Cube didn't try to simplify the game. If you wanted simple tennis, there were more than enough
tennis games out there for you. "Mario Tennis" was for people who wanted a wackier take on the sport, but there was still depth here. You needed to be skillful
to beat your opponent. "Open's" chance shots just
made the game mindless. You didn't outsmart the other player by going over to the glowing spot. Don't lie. If you were (beep) Luigi playing tennis and the ground started glowing, you'd go over to it but you
wouldn't feel accomplished. You'd just followed the glow. - Okay, so after the GameCube, Mario sports titles' quality
was definitely declining. Sure, there wasn't really a
terrible one at this point, but they were a lot more hit
or miss than they used to be. - [Narrator] Camelot Software
Planning were the developers of both the "Mario Golf"
and "Mario Tennis" series, ever since the Nintendo
64 and Game Boy Color. They've made every game in both
franchises since that point, whether they were the multi-player
party games on console or the RPGs on the handheld. And they truly had a lot of talent. Just looking at their
games on the GameCube, they were obviously very
proud of those games with the amazing opening cut scenes that were more so five-minute
long comedy shorts. They had great rosters of characters, fantastic modes and they're still fun today. But by the year 2015, when Mario sports games
were sort of in the gutter, what did they do? - Well, they were ones
to go against the grain. - [Narrator] "Mario
Tennis: Ultra Smash" was the first time I've ever used the term "Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash" as bad. As you can see the lineage
of Mario sports titles up until this point, somewhat
started to degrade in quality. So when E3 2015 rolled around, I think we were all hoping
for a new Mario sports game that was a return to form. It's been a while since we've seen "Mario Strikers or "Mario Baseball", those would be fun to see again. Oh or a "Mario Golf" on a home console, we haven't gotten one of
those since the GameCube. Or hey maybe a new, Mario sport like football or horseback riding. During Nintendo's E3 2015 digital event, after revealing "Animal
Crossing: Amiibo Festival", as you would if you wanted
to watch the world burn, Nintendo showcased a few more trailers revealing "Mario & Luigi Paper Jam" and immediately afterwards
with no hesitation, no time to breathe, they just started a trailer
for a new Mario tennis game. Hell yes! I am completely
indifferent to Mario Tennis. - So this is just alfredo party? - "Amiibo Festival". - This already wasn't a series you liked. - That's right! It was
a series I tolerated. - So what does it matter to you if this game got announced
or turned out to be bad? Even if it was the greatest
tennis game of all time, you still probably wouldn't care about it. - That's not true! I wouldn't probably not care about it. I just wouldn't care about it. - [Narrator] Why does Nintendo
love "Mario Tennis" so much? I'm sure the Wii didn't get its own game, but it at least got a
re-release of the GameCube one. Then we got "Open" on the 3DS, "Ultra Smash" on Wii U, then tennis was included
as one of the five sports in "Mario Sports
Superstars" on 3DS in 2017, including horseback riding. Thank (beep). And then with no hesitation, a new Mario tennis game after that! Like guys, I know the
series has the fabled fan who thinks Mario tennis
is the greatest series Nintendo's ever made out there somewhere. - Oh, we'll find them! - [Narrator] But in my opinion, it's the least interesting
sport of the bunch. And even if it was the most interesting, why not give the other
sports more attention? It just boggles my mind. Well, this new Mario
tennis game was revealed and it looked fantastic. Look at the character models, the lighting, the colors, it all looked gorgeous! It was like they took the
graphics of "Mario Kart 8" and made a tennis game out of them. Why would you do that? I don't know, but look at the grass! It looked great (pause) visually. Game play wise? Yep, that sure is a Mario tennis. There's this Mega Mushroom
power-up showcased where characters would grow. And get this? (pause) Big. Giants playing tennis. Well, that's interesting, I guess. What else does this game have? A title. What kind of subtitle is "Ultra Smash"? What does that mean? It just feels like they went
to an auto title generator and it came up with this. Uh, whatever, okay. It's releasing holiday of 2015. They obviously want to
save a bunch of stuff about this game to reveal later. This obviously isn't the entire game. (awkward silence) The game was playable on the E3 show floor and my God! That is old artwork of Peach. Looking at the game play, it was just tennis. - Yeah, it's a tennis game. What were you expecting? - You don't understand. It was just tennis. - Oh my God. - [Narrator] It looked like
a very barren HD version of "Mario Tennis Open",
chance shots and all. Temporary box art for
the game was revealed and, and I still have
nightmares about this. I know this was just to
give retailers something to put up on their "Mario Tennis:
Ultra Smash" product pages until the true box art was finished. But back in 2015, I was a bit concerned this was actually going to be the final box art. I was more concerned about that than if the game was going to be good. That was about it for "Ultra
Smash" until October 2015 and we got a trailer labeled
"Look Who's on the Court". That could mean anything. It was less than a minute
long and announced characters that were pretty much always
playable in Mario tennis games. Boo, Daisy, Waluigi. I think the most concerning
thing about this trailer was after four months of nothing on this game, this was all they had to show us and it was releasing in a month. We also didn't see any new courts. It was just the same basic one from E3, but the material of the
court could be changed. Huh? Well two days later another trailer was released. The "Love All" trailer. This one introducing the
tagline of "play tennis" with "super Mario powers". - They had me at this
game having a tagline. - [Narrator] So this
was an overview trailer showing off all the modes. Hopefully this isn't all the modes. But there's tennis, big tennis, online tennis boring tennis. Because this trailer fully confirmed there are no unique courts in the game. It's just the same stadium with different textures on the floor. - Yikes! Well at least at this point, the game got actual box art and the release date was November 20th, one week after "Animal
Crossing: Amiibo Festival". I (beep) hate calendars. - [Narrator] A couple of hidden
characters were revealed, previews started to come out, and I was holding out hope that this game was
hiding (pause) something. Even when the Nintendo Direct
in November 2015 came out and "Mario Tennis: Ultra
Smash" was highlighted, this was a week before it was releasing, and I was still praying this
wasn't all the game was. This looked exactly
like it did back at E3. Back when it had a
reason to be bare bones. It was a demo and the
first time we saw the game. Didn't even leave the
unlockable characters locked when showcasing the thing. They had no shame with showing
everything this game was. And most importantly, what it wasn't. - So November 24 around
and you bought the game? You bought the game! - Actually no, not at all. - You're making great progress. - This was five years ago. - [Narrator] 2015 I started
a bit of a tradition. If a Nintendo published
Wii U game released, I would buy it. I think I did this out
of love for the company and a desire to support
them during this era. But see after "Animal Crossing:
Amiibo Festival" released, just one week earlier, seeing how absolutely
barren "Ultra Smash" was in evaluating its price
tag of 50 US dollars. I picked up it up, about to buy it and said, "No, I'm not supporting this." I could at least understand "Amiibo Festival's" $60 price tag. It came with Amiibo figures and cards, it wasn't worth much at all, but the price tag was
a bit more justified. "Ultra Smash" wasn't a full $60, but that doesn't mean it's worth 50. I held back on this game for a while. I didn't want to support
Nintendo rushing out games that were overpriced and lacking content just to fill their holiday lineup. - So I told that video game company, they ain't seeing a dime from me. They may be a multi-billion
dollar Japanese corporation but let that be a lesson to them. I ain't giving them any of my business when it comes to $50 tennis games. Now, when I see it on sale
for $25 two years later, then I'll bite. - [Narrator] Look at this box art, I'll give the game this, it looks good. The layout's nice. Luigi. Unleash your jump shots
to take the advantage. God (sighs), the marketing people were
trying with this game. This blurb is like if a dictionary had a "harness the power
of words" on the back. Yeah (chuckles). That's always a good sign when the age rating doesn't
have anything to say about the game. No comic mischief, cartoon
violence or sexual content like "Mario Power Tennis". The fact "Amiibo Festival"
is racier than "Ultra Smash", I don't know what to make of that. The disk? Yeah, they just plastered random characters all around it and called it a day. - Oh no! No! Not the disk art! - That was the one thing I
thought they couldn't ruin. - And they (beep) it! Nintendo (beep) it, just like they (beep)
our beds are friends. - "Amiibo Festival". - I don't care! - Well, this is it. A game I refuse to buy and play because of the principle of it all. You know if I really wanted
it to be a hypocrite, I could just enjoy an RPG but (sighs) that's not going to happen. (page turning) (tennis stroke) - [Narrator] This is "Mario
Tennis: Ultra Smash". Could you tell? (Ultra Smash song) Remember "Mario Tennis"
on the Nintendo 64? It had that cute little opening cut scene. Remember "Mario Tennis"
on the Game Boy Color? It had a fun little cinematic. Remember "Mario Power
Tennis" on the GameCube? It had an Oscar-worthy opening short film. Remember "Mario Tennis: Power
Tour" on the Game Boy Advance? It had an intense little
opening for a handheld game. Remember "Mario Tennis
Open" for the Nintendo 3DS? It had a lame opening,
but an opening regardless. Remember "Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash"? It had nothing. So we enter into the main menu. It's honestly pretty bland, but pretty slick. I like it when you hover over an option, a video plays in the box. It's simple, but it's decently attractive. It feels like a huge
display at a sports game. Now, is there another page of options? Are there modes that can unlock? Is there more to this? - What have I been bitching
about the past 17 minutes? - [Narrator] This is all
"Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash" has to offer. Five modes! That's not an immediate problem. A lack of modes doesn't automatically mean a lack of quality. Maybe these are very in-depth modes with a ton a variety and replay value. What if they made the most
out of the limited options and made something truly special? What if they did that? Do you think they did that? - What have I been bitching
about the past 18 minutes? - [Narrator] All right, so let's start off with the first option
available, Mega Battle. So we choose between whether we want to play singles or doubles. Nice options. I'd be concerned if a tennis
game didn't have them. And all right nice
character select screen. All of this is old art. Every single one of these
character profiles are years old. Some of them over 10 years
old from this game's release and I have no idea why they had to rip art from ass old games. Just looking at the disk art, they created new renders
of tons of these characters specifically for "Ultra Smash". Why did they feel the
need to reuse old renders? Even when characters like
Peach, Daisy and Rosalina, aren't in their tennis
outfits in the renders when they are in the game. Oh my God, look! We have four unlockable
characters grayed out. Who could they be? Listen I'd know that silhouette anywhere. I can't believe they
added Grover Cleveland. Next we get to pick the type of court. Hmm. You know, these three words are all so nice, but I think hard is the way to go. Then we get to pick which type of controlling camera setup we want. Do we want the score on the game pad? Do we want the game
copied to the game pad? And maybe even reverse view or dynamic? - "Mario Tennis: Ultra
Smash" is overwhelming me. Yeah. I was starting to
get a little sarcastic. - But there was a reverse view. - [Narrator] I'll just go with copy and here's a loading screen. Oh, oh, it's not loading. We could have just hit A this entire time. Look at how quickly the
A button appears here. It doesn't even load anything. You'd think this is a loading screen, but all this basically is, is just a tip and trick
you're forced to skip. Is there any point to the screen? And (pause), here's the game! - [Peach] (laughs) I'm here. (Mario grunts)
- [Peach] Wooo! - [Narrator] Surprised? - Yeah, I just realized
this is a tennis game. - You just realized? - This was my first time playing. It's meant to be played
with multiple people. I think that calls for
more people to play with. I just have to try to sweeten the deal to try to get them over here. I am forwarding this message to everybody on my contacts list. If you come over tonight
I will inform you how your uncle just died. (door bell rings) (door creaks open) (man panting) - Did not take you as
somebody who had an uncle. - I don't. I just couldn't believe
my uncle died, again. - What if I told you your uncle didn't die and you can celebrate by playing tennis. - If there's one thing I
hated more than my uncle, it's tennis. - What's wrong with tennis. - I don't know. I just never thought I
was big enough to play. Like if I could grow comically
big while playing tennis, I'd give it a chance. - Well do I have an Ultra Smash for you? - As long as it's not Gex, I'm in. - Oh, is it Gex night? I love Gex night. - Didn't you get my message
about your uncle dying? - (laughing) He died for the third time? - Yeah. Let's fire up Gex. (Ultra Smash sound effects) - (beep) Lizard Gex. Oh my God. If you were a Gex fan, you'd get that. - [Narrator] Mega Battle
we just played tennis and a Toad will randomly
throw a Mega Mushroom onto the court and touch it and... (Mario level up sound) - [Narrator] That's a fun cut scene. I hope they play it every time somebody
touches a Mega Mushroom. Oh, joy! So this is a mode where
you have one power-up thrown onto the court
and you can grow big. Of course your shots
are more powerful now, which makes it incredibly unfair when you're up against somebody
without a Mega Mushroom, but then when you get a Mega Mushroom when the other person has
a make a Mega Mushroom, then this is basically the
same as a regular match. When it's just two giants
going up against each other, you don't really feel the
power of being a giant. You both are at equal power levels. It's not interesting. With Mega Battle, the same thing always happens. You play normal tennis, and then a toad throws a Mega Mushroom onto one of your sides. If you had to fight for the Mega Mushroom, that would be one thing. But no, they just throw it on whoever's side they feel like that day. And it's pretty much never
out of your way to grab it. You get it, the exact same cut scene plays every time it pauses the action. If there were like a couple
of different animations per character, I still wouldn't like the fact the cut scene interrupts everything, but at least it would
be more understandable. No! Each character only has
one Mega Mushroom cut scene and it plays every time. You can't disable it. You can't skip it. You have to watch it and then you're big! Good for you. Now, your shots are more powerful and it's easier for you
to hit the ball back because you're so much bigger. Obviously, why wouldn't you
go for the Mega Mushroom? I get that sometimes the Mushroom may be out of the way for you to grab it if the ball is heading in
the opposite direction, but this thing stays on
the court for so long. There is not a ton of urgency
to grab it immediately. So basically when somebody gets big, it's now completely unfair. The other person is incredibly tiny, but then Toad will throw
them a Mega Mushroom and then they grow big, cut scene and all. So now you have two people who are just large for no reason. What's the point if
everybody has a power-up? It's not a power-up at that point. Eventually your power-up will run out. So now we're back to somebody
having an unfair advantage, until their power-up runs out, and then you get a Mega
Mushroom thrown at you again, and the cycle repeats. The Toads almost always
throw you the Mega Mushroom in the exact same pattern every time. You get it, then your opponent gets it about 30 seconds later. Yours runs out and your opponent still has it for a bit, until theirs runs out. And then you get a Mega Mushroom again. It constantly repeats. Now if your opponent hits
your body with the ball, then you lose your power-up. You're telling me they had
nothing for this rating? But yup! That's Mega Battle. It's just regular tennis with a power-up that honestly adds absolutely nothing but a dumb selling point to the box. It's just so worthless. Like the Toad just throws
you a Mega Mushroom and, and that's it! If you had a meter, where you had to keep a rally going or you had to pull off some
skillful shot or something and it fills up and then
you get a Mega Mushroom, then that would be one thing. Or if it was just pure chaos and Toad would throw
Mega Mushrooms randomly, like every two seconds, and it wasn't balanced in the slightest. I mean, this already isn't balanced well, but if it was more random, I could have at least appreciate it in a (beep) insane way. But no, it's just the same thing over and over again. All you do is grow big
and you quickly realize it's just a part of this pattern of growing big, opponent grows big, you go back to normal, they go back to normal and it just repeats. Growing large isn't interesting because it's basically
an automatic win button. If you're large and your opponent's not, you are going to beat them. Outside of growing large, the game is uh it's, it's just tennis! (man with hat grunts) - [Narrator] You just
use different buttons for different types of shots, but honestly just hitting
whatever button you want does the trick. Sure, performing different shots, at the right moments, is
what skillful players do, which is why we don't. If you see the glowing chance shot spots, returning from "Mario Tennis Open", just go right over to it and
perform the button action it tells you to perform. Basically you either masher in a button when the ball gets over to you or you just waddle over
to the glowy points and hit the button the
game tells you to hit. Every now and then you do these jump shots if the ball's over your head if you hit A, B or Y twice. Every now and then, if the other player messes up their shot you'll get a different glow spot and it'll let you do an Ultra Smash, which is just a very powerful jump shot that immediately means you won. But it's not like a crazy
amazing looking thing. It's just Bam, wow, an ultra smash, you should name a game after that. It controls well enough, there's nothing inherently
wrong with the game at its core but it's just, it's just not fun. It's just boring. The game play loop isn't enjoyable. The things that adds to
the Mario tennis series are jump shots and Mega Battle. Has God seen this? It's okay, we have four
other modes to try out here. Next up is Mega Ball Rally. We have to try to maintain a rally for as long as humanly possible. See the "mega" comes
from how big the ball is and it gets smaller and
smaller as the rally goes on, so it gets trickier. The ball comes from the
fact we're using a ball and the rally comes from
the fact, this is a rally. I don't understand when you're
playing against a computer and they end up doing a
giant ass shot on you. Why are you doing that? We're rallying the ball with each other. We have the same goal. No Mega Mushrooms in this mode (man in hat grunts) - [Narrator] which is
why we have to move on to "Knockout Challenge Amiibo". Pick ourselves a character
and play Mega Battle against another opponent. Hey, Hey, wait a second. (grunts) Yep this is just a single player, oriented version of Mega Battle. It's for true Mega Battle Gex fans only. Go up against an opponent, beat them. Go up against another one, beat them. Go up against another one. - And then what? - I don't remember. - [Narrator] And it's just a
never ending endurance mode until you lose against somebody. Basically this game's excuse
for a single player offering. Of course, the farther you go, the more coins you get. That's right, "Mario Tennis: Ultra
Smash" has an economy... - and Mega Battle. - [Narrator] Now you
can use an Amiibo figure in this mode as your partner. For some reason, you can't
just have another player play with you or a standard CPU. It has to be an Amiibo. So crack out your Animal Crossing Amiibo, try scanning them, realize the game only works
with certain Mario Amiibo. Sulk. Enter your pockets, scan Amiibo. With that being said, the gold Mario Amiibo works and gives you a gold Mario in the game. Now silver Mario doesn't
give you a silver Mario, obviously (beep) them. You must train your Amiibo. It will level up the more you play with it and you can teach it some certain skills. See, I like this concept, but it's ripped off directly
from "Super Smash Brothers". Smash for Wii U and 3DS
allowed you to scan an Amiibo to fight with or against it to train it to fight like you. But see "Smash Brothers"
is a pretty deep game. Everybody has a different
fighting style of their own, so that makes sense. Training my Bowser Junior
to play tennis just like me, that doesn't. Nobody has a certain play style in "Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash". It's literally all just mashing a button when a glowy spot appears. Playing with an Amiibo doesn't feel like I have an understudy. It just feels like I'm
playing with a computer, which is exactly what I'm doing. Well that's Knockout Challenge. It's just Mega Battle. - (chuckles) It is. - [Narrator] Moving on to classic tennis. This is tennis without the Mega Mushrooms. - All right. You know what? That's the last (beep) straw. All right, I don't (beep) need this. All right. (beep) you! (beep) this! And (beep) tennis! - [Narrator] Classic tennis
gives us two options, simple mode or standard mode. Those are synonyms. Well standard has the stinky
ass chance and jump shots where you have the glow
things you just run around to. Simple is just tennis. You just hit the ball back and forth. So basically standard mode is Mega Battle. - Yeah. - [Narrator] Without the Mega Mushrooms. - (beep) you! - [Narrator] And simple mode
is more strategic and skillful, but boring in its own special way. Well we can play online. We have access to singles or doubles. We can play for fun of for a (beep) tease or play a serious match. We can play standard
tennis or Mega Battle. - This game gets me. - [Narrator] We can even
bring our Amiibo online to play alongside us. And now all we have to do is find a match. (news intro music) - Wait, wait, wait, Gex's online wasn't this bad. What the (beep) is this game? I've (beep) had it. (beep) you. (beep) this. And (beep) tennis. - [Narrator] So online
you can only play against random people and not friends, so that means we are completely dependent on who's playing this right now at this exact moment. You ever feel special, that you're the only one
playing "Ultra Smash" online? Of course you don't because I'm the only one
playing "Ultra Smash" online. The game's trailers heavily suggested you could play with friends. The term "play together
online" kind of implies, you can play with friends. What about this little eyesore right here? Well, this is the achievements
and store section. You gotta have a store with an economy. We have 25 things to unlock
by doing certain things. You know how old NES games
would be notoriously hard? So then you'd be forced to play it longer, even though the game had
like barely much content to it at all. That's a neat quirk of "Ultra Smash". It brings that back! We have to win against 15 opponents in a row in Knockout Challenge with every starting character. That is nearly 200
matches you have to win. And what do you get for doing that? The star version of that character. What's the star version of that character? - I don't know. - [Narrator] They look the exact same. They just have a tiny
star on their portrait. After looking it up, a star character is a
more powerful version of that original character. ("Ultra Smash" music) - [Narrator] That's kind of dumb. I know that's something that's not new to Mario Tennis but still, it's kind of dumb. But we can unlock more characters, Bowser Junior, Dry Bowser,
Sprixie Princess, Cleveland. Cleveland and Sprixie
are new to Mario Tennis, joining Rosalina who's also
new on the starting roster. I really like Rosalina in this game, how she floats around. I don't know if that was
just a lucky decision to make so they didn't
have to animate her walking but it looks cool and fits her character. Sprixie was from "Super Mario 3D World" and is a really fun and cool addition. I like when they pull from
the latest Mario titles for new characters instead of relying on the same old, same old. And it's really odd to me
that Grover hasn't been in a Mario Tennis game before this, but it's good she's finally here. When you obtain the unlockable characters for the first time, you automatically get
the star version of them. Which just goes to show how dumb having a star version
is in the first place. And then there are the
extra courts we can unlock. I mean, please, I would like some variety thank you. Simply playing more and more matches will unlock different courts. And the only difference between them is the look and texture of the floor. Carpet, mushrooms, sand, ice rebound and morph. Can't have "Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash" without carpet, mushrooms, sand, ice rebound and morph. I'd say the most interesting one is morph simply because it'll morph
into different textures already in the game. Rebound's kind of garbage, but so is the game, so it fits. It'll immediately make the ball fly in the direction it lands
on, which is interesting. Did I just say that? Everything else... Okay. Be honest, while the ball speed
and bouncing properties change between each
different court texture, most of them, I can barely tell the difference. The different styles I choose
between mostly depend on whatever I feel like looking at that day, not necessarily the ball speed and bounce. Of course, if we look at
the other Mario Tennis games and see how they all had
elaborate court designs, with interesting and fun gimmicks based on other Mario titles, as well as the standard stadium
with texture differences, you may ask, why doesn't this game have
good courts like these? And to answer that, this game had to come out
in the holiday of 2015 no exceptions. We have sand court. You're asking for a lot. We can unlock higher CPU difficulties in an Amiibo training mode. I mean having these unlockables that gives us some incentive
to play more Mega Battles. - I don't need an incentive
to play Mega Battle. It's Mega Battle. - [Narrator] But we don't necessarily have to complete the tasks the
game is asking us to complete to unlock these things, we can just unlock them
with the coins we earned. Don't you love how to
unlock the pro difficulty it costs 5,000 coins, but then for the difficulty
right above it, it's 30,000. All right, (pants) what else? Does the electronic
manual count as a mode? - So that's "Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash". And overall, it's bad tennis. - With Mega Battle. - Such a classic Gex move. It makes you think it's not Gex, then comes out and says,
"I'm a bad tennis game." It's great. Gex is a terrible tennis game. - Yeah, that was a Nintendo
published game in 2015. I think I should wrap things up by giving just a little overview on everything "Mario Tennis:
Ultra Smash" has to offer. (whooshing) - That's it. - [Narrator] I remember
reading an interview with the developers of
"Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash". There they stated they wanted to go back to the roots of Mario Tennis. And that is code for
"Here's the lazy excuses to why this game has less content
than the Nintendo 64 one." I could say this is one of
the worst Nintendo games ever created (pause) and I will. But is it simply because it has barely 20 minutes worth of content and was obviously rushed out just to get something Mario related
out on Wii U that holiday? Is it because this game
adds absolutely nothing to the Mario tennis series and strips out anything
and everything memorable or fun from the past games? Is it because the main gimmick of the game adds absolutely nothing but an obtrusive cut scene to matches? Is it because they could have
added content to the game via free software updates
after the game released, but just gave up and barely mentioned it after the game launched? Is it because there's only one stadium in the game with lazy textures added to give the half-assed
illusion of multiple arenas? Is it because it was $50 when it could have very easily
been a $15 eShop download? Is it because even disregarding the lack of content modes and everything, the core game play is just pretty boring? Yes. But was this game
ever really meant to be anything but all of that? I mean, the demo they
showed off at E3 2015, that was pretty much the final game. I'm not making excuses for this thing. It's absolutely one of the laziest, the most soulless games I've ever played from a major publisher. It's absolutely worse than "Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival" because say what you will about that, but I felt the developers
actually kind of cared. It functions fine, but that's not impressive at all. It's tennis. It's like they put together all the words they we're going to use
in an essay for school. I mean, these were some stellar words. If they formed sentences
with them easy A-plus, but they never put them on the paper or an order that would
make any grammatical sense. Either this game was supposed to be a legitimate Mario tennis
game and they scrapped everything that would
require actual development, to ship it out at the last minute, or this was always meant to be just a simple tech demo of "Mario Tennis" in HD and then they would just reuse the assets to make an actual "Mario
Tennis" game later. - I don't know. I would love to find out
what happened to this game in the background, but it'll never make it not
totally, never, not bad. - Well, you know what they say. If you play two bad
video games for children, you're bound to end up in therapy somehow. - Actually I played three. (awkward pause) - Wait, no. No. That's impossible! You don't mean No! No! No! No! No! No! No! - So this may be the worst game
I've ever played in my life, but what about the final,
terrible Nintendo game that released in 2015? This was a 3DS game that released right alongside "Amiibo
Festival" and "Ultra Smash" and it absolutely murdered a series I've always had a soft spot for, so let's try out "Mario
Party: The Top 100". This released two years later
and is not in the running. Why is the floor wet? (suspenseful music) (water splashes) - Ahhh!
(suspenseful music)
Once I saw him reach for that toliet near the end, I had the stupidest smile on my face as those words rang through my head...
"THIS GAME BLOWS"
So I guess the Zip-Lash video will be his 1 million sub special? Makes sense, because it’s easily the biggest meme he’s created.
Lord, I can't believe they managed to make a game with giant Daisy that's still totally unappealing to me.
When Scott said 3DS and favorite franchise I knew... that the next episode in this series is gonna fucking blow
man that skit in the beginning killed me
That ending without the classic outro music... I have a feeling about what the Season Finale will be
TIL Mario Tennis Ultra Smash was the first tennis game that Grover Cleveland was featured in. I thought she was featured in Mario Tennis Open, weird...
woah different outro music
I'm calling it right now: "Chibi-Robo! Ziplash | The Darkest Age of Nintendo"