I'm not a good cook (but I'm trying)

are you a young aspiring professional ready to take on the world do you own like three pots and pans and a wooden spoon but don't know how to use them are you old enough to not be afraid of turning on the stove but you still are for some reason me too so we gotta figure something out see no one tells you this but when you say okay i guess i'm an adult now there's like a terms and conditions block of text hiding in your birthday cake huh that's a weird feeling kind of tastes like taxes and when those terms and conditions catch up to you they freaking hurt and as it turns out you cannot live off of chipotle i mean you can but is this really the life you want to live luigi if you know what's good for you don't come in here so one night i decided i'd had an updoor dash it was high time i'll learn how to cook yeehaw god if you follow me on instagram you'll know that my inspiration for cooking tends to spike during the wee hours of the night and you'll also know i'm not perfect in the kitchen so without further ado here are some of my trials and tribulations surrounding cooking soup time soup time gonna get a pot for some soup crimes soup time soup time veggies in my hand looking mighty fine soup time soup time gonna peel the potato oh whoops number one be safe if you are in the kitchen you will be working with sharp objects and if you enjoy having all the fingers you were born with you ought to learn how to properly use sharp objects the sharp object i used was a peeler and i didn't have the guard turned correctly and that's how i ended up like this so don't be like me be safe thank you for coming to my ted talk injury time injury time time to account for my cooking crimes it's fine i was fine it was gross i will not show a picture but uh to give you an idea here's a pg rendition i sent to my mom anyway here's how to be safe in the kitchen first make sure your knife is sharp this might sound counter-intuitive but dull knives cause a lot more problems cause if you're chopping stuff but the knife isn't going through it you're gonna end up applying too much pressure to a knife and it could slip and you could get hurt see watch thankfully i'm a cartoon character so with the magic of animation i can grow my hand back but you can't do that in real life okay so number two learn how to hold a knife when chopping stuff the best practice is hold the knife at the base of the blade with one hand and with the other hand curl your fingers in like a claw like a cat cause you like all those fingers right and you want them all to stay on your hand right right and number three put the sharps away safe and clean believe me i love a good dishwasher but to quote what my grandmother told my mother you're a good dishwasher too plus dishwasher detergent isn't so great for knives it can dull the blade and you remember what i said about your fingers i'll link some stuff in the description for you guys to check out all right i've got a band-aid i know how to hold a knife now so let's actually try cooking the first time i tried cooking was back in college and i had some banging albeit simple dishes chicken with alfredo sauce and broccoli chicken fajitas spaghetti as well as my matzo ball soup but i'll get into that later deep within my highlight reel of wonderful dishes also lives a dozen horrible ones there was one year i couldn't go home for the holidays so a couple friends and i met up for a potluck and we each cooked and brought something and i was going to make drumroll please green bean casserole and i know what you're thinking ew green beans a casserole yucky lucky no thank you but but hear me out growing up in the south man green bean casserole is thebomb.com it is the bee's knees if you can make it right the recipes i've followed always include green beans cream of mushroom soup and fried onions on top but the seasoning is very important and let me make clear i didn't ruin it because i under seasoned hmm that's a lot of pepper all right 1 4 tablespoon i knew it so yeah it was really peppery and when i took a test bite it was not safe for human consumption and when my friends came over i warned them i told them i messed up the pepper proportions and they should not eat this but they were my friends and they're so kind and supportive so they were like oh come on it can't be that bad yeah that's a lot of pepperman even though i messed up my contribution it was still a great time because we were all together and everyone else brought really good food so that helped and that's what i love about cooking even if it turns out to be garbage it's still the reason we meet up in the first place and even to this day there's a lot i try to make like tacos and chicken and even milk tea and those things need polishing but enough negativity i think it's time i share with you guys a family meal that i grew up loving and making matzo ball soup listen listen imagine if like a noodle was a sponge matzo balls are awesome because they soak up all the broth and all the flavor and all the seasoning it's so warm and soft and homey my friends really liked it when i made it back in college so i hope you guys like it too here's how to make matzo ball soup all you really need is the matzo ball soup kit which is pretty cheap and you can find it in the international food aisle besides that you can add literally anything you want it's just like that scene in ratatouille you are remy and you can sniff things and you can throw it in the pot you know why this is a soup as long as it tastes good you're in the clear any ingredient any flavor any spice papa john wait no but that's what makes making soup so fun so let's get crazy in the kitchen i like chopping up some onions some celery some carrots and some potatoes but you can add whatever you like peppa what are you doing in my soup if you're feeling less remy the rat and more linguine the human don't worry it already comes with a little seasoning packet that gets the job done but listen the best part about matzo ball soup is making the matzo balls step one eggs and oil step two mix that mix in step three chill out just be calm add the soup mix to the water taste the seasoning feel the seasoning become the seasoning and then you make the balls you make the balls you make the balls golf balls golf ball size don't get crazy don't get cocky i know it's hahaha funny because i have big muzzle balls but listen you're making a big mistake a mistake even bigger than your big matzo balls they won't [ __ ] cook so don't make the balls too big think of the children please i'm begging you just just rein it in and then you put the balls in the water and they float wee let it simmer for 20 minutes and then wham bam christmas ham you got a homey little bowl of matzo ball soup do illy pat yourself on the back unwind and enjoy it's delicious and yes it's a lot like chicken noodle soup and yes it may remind you of something to eat when you don't feel good but that's just the thing i know i'm not a very good cook but i want to be and i enjoy trying so whenever i don't feel so good about cooking and i feel stupid for even trying i go back to the basics with matzo ball soup because it feels good to make things you actually like and enjoy making and this is where i really feel like remy the ratatouille the rat of all my dreams making something and making it with love always has a way of putting everything into perspective for you and for everyone you share it with remember anyone can cook so with that thank you for watching my videos double triple check how much pepper you add to your seasoning and if you like this one let me know by hitting like if you want to see more hit subscribe and as always stay safe cut all right now that i'm done here i'm here to give you some exclusive behind-the-scenes access so i bet you're wondering about where i got this wait a minute we did cartoon italy in real life eli get that apron oh well it's actually a funny story wait wait weren't you talking about matzo balls like me moz mozzo balls no puns in the kitchen wait huh no no puns in the kitchen go on get wait alyssa no please i will kill you go go go out back when my finger was healing i started writing this video and then a small business named funny aprons reached out and this is a special kind of sponsor they said hey we're a small business just me and my gf from australia we love making funny aprons and we'd love to send you one of your cat on it and if you do happen to like it please let your fans know but it's up to you and guess what i love this apron genuinely how could i not as you can see it's a custom design and the neck strap is adjustable and it's comfy and it's got pockets look at all the things i can fit in my pockets and it's water resistant and you can wash it and they have a bunch of designs already laid out for you to make customizing that much more fun i got the that's fire design and uploaded this picture i drew of chef wiggy funny aprons isn't some big mega corporation this is a family-run business just doing what they love making funny aprons and i mean it when i say it i'm here for the chaos if you are too they gave me a 10 off code for you guys to use at checkout illy10 they also have mittens not mittens what are they called baking gloves mitts oven mitts oven mitts yeah they've got those too so please enjoy the 10 off code ile10 link in the description and if you want this exact one you are more than welcome whatever you get make sure to tag me and funny aprons on instagram we'd love to see your hilarious designs and whatever you decide to cook that day so go to buyfunnyaprons.com and don't forget to use illi10 and that's it thank you for watching and thank you funny aprons for sponsoring this video [Music] you

Channel: illymation

Views: 1,069,380

Rating: 4.9690633 out of 5

Keywords: illymation, illymations, illyanimation, illystrations, storytime animation, animated storytime, animation, illymation real life, illymation face reveal, illymation ex, illymation boyfriend, illymation abusive boyfriend, illymation song, illymation animal crossing, illymation vidcon, illymation cat, illymation luigi, cooking videos, matzo ball soup, easy recipes, college recipes, theamaazing

Id: gdOjrtF5aFg

Length: 10min 50sec (650 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 25 2021