Lawyers, What Is the Most Outrageous Case Someone Has Asked You to Take?

lawyers of reddit what is the most outrageous case someone has asked you to take i do firearms law and this is one that happens about every three months so i have this invention and i want you to write a legal opinion confirming that it is legal c it is designed to protect from lead exposure when you go shooting lead is a serious health risk does this invention involve a tube that fits on the end of your gun and contains a series of baffles to capture the vented gases yes sir you have invented the suppressor which is a prohibited device here in canada i bet you anything there is some online gun forum where they try to perfect that tactic and they're convinced it will work if they just can get it right while working at a plaintiff's employment firm two memorable consults came in one guy gets fired for being late too much wants to sue for discrimination because he has a sugar addiction and needs to stop at 7-eleven for a big gulp before his shift begins as a result he usually ends up missing the bus two a woman comes in she was a bus driver and was terminated during her probationary period she had three accidents in six weeks she wants to sue for discrimination because she has anxiety and a therapy rabbit all the while sitting at the conference room table petting the therapy bunny a woman comes in she was a bus driver and was terminated during her probationary period she had three accidents in six weeks she wants to sue for discrimination because she has anxiety and a therapy rabbit all the while sitting at the conference room table petting the therapy bunny they're discriminating against me just because i'm clearly unfit for the job my parents are both attorneys most recently their bachet crazy neighbor asked my dad to serve as his attorney in a slip and full suit against my parents he had come over unannounced and uninvited at 6am on a snowy morning and fell down our driveway my dad was the one who helped him up and called the ambulance on his behalf the next day crazy neighbor dropped off legal documents in my parents mailbox for my dad to look over to see if he had a case against my dad and this is why i hate people i would have exerted all my lawyer skills to find some miserable loophole or precedent allowing me to take the case and i would press my client to sue for attorney's fees years ago i had someone ask me informally whether he should sue the jerry springer show because they turned his family down as guests yeah out of there real quick i worked on a custody dispute between a mother and grandmother where both sides were absolutely outraged by the others claims the mother was very upset that she was alleged to have been a stripper i was a prostitute but i was never a stripper the grandmother in return was furious that she was alleged to have 21 cats in her two-bedroom apartment we only have 17 cats how dare she flat out lion say that we have 21 cats the child ended up living with the father in a different state kid dodged two bullets a company wants me to patent their competitors slogan arguing it has no trademark registration when i explained them a slogan is not protectable by patent that slogans cannot be deposited for trademark registration and that patents and trademarks are two very distinct forms of monopoly they asked me apply for a generic intellectual property over the slogan i then proceeded to explain there is no generic intellectual property and that although there would be ways to protect that subject matter not every ip right is acquired through registration this means as i explained the competitor holds protection over the slogan moreover i explained that their request is majorly unlawful they did not budge i ended up explaining them about ethics and being very firm about refusing to honour their request our contract is now rescinded defended a guy who sent poop through the mail to his ex-gf from state prison i don't know how it got past prison officials but it did and he didn't deny sending it however we went to trial because he wanted me to argue that the poop was expressive speech and thus protected by the first amendment we lost tl dr crap case we lost when i was working in small claims for the court system i had a man call me who wanted to sue his ex-girlfriend for the 12 years of cigarettes he had bought for her also had someone accuse the courts of taking and keeping as evidence the blue energy tube the aliens had given her for safekeeping i work as a paralegal for a small but really old law firm in texas i work with a few attorneys who handle estate planning and wills this man was a doctor died he was worth about two million dollars he wasn't very wealthy and we also handled a lot bigger cases but he had five kids and an ex-wife after he divorced he came out as gay and moved in with his partner after he died his will stated that his house and money would go to his partner his kids tried to argue it we ended up going through mediation his partner actually requested a paternity test on the father's frozen specimen it took a lot of legal pull and bull crap but in the end it turns out all five kids were not actually related to the now deceased father the partner got to keep the estate day aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye oh oh m that is some jerry springer level family drama right there though i bet the deceased knew they weren't his kids and told his partner that so in my jurisdiction sometimes we get a case and may only have five minutes to talk to a client before preliminary hearing not an attorney yet waiting bar results but at an internship we had a client in criminal court that we defended he met a woman at a bar they had a few drinks and went back to her place they fricked consensually uncontested by either party they both fell asleep in their underwear on her bed the woman called the police the next morning and reported a carnal assault why may you ask because in his sleep the man got an erection while spooning her she claimed she did not consent to this action the state actually charged the man i was shadowing a female attorney and i learned over time that she didn't know much about freaking but she leaned over to me and said dongs get hard in your sleep can you control that crap i got to get in front of the court and explain how an erection in one sleep is involuntary and therefore he did not have the intent to rub his erect dong on her case was dismissed at preliminary hearing omg defense by morningwood a fellow came to me in 1996 and said he was able to stop his grand mal seizures by smoking pot he was a very difficult sometimes abusive hothead with a long history of of criminal cases he had no money he wanted to make pot legal in canada many many lawyers had already turned him away i took it on very very reluctantly it was obviously a complete long shot but i was young and ambitious george soros foundation learned about the challenge funded the case and provided some experts a few years later and two minute hours arguments tears and sleepless nights to count damned if he didn't win his case became the national template for medical marijuana in canada the client wanted full legalization so he was disappointed with the result oh well i tried respect from an epileptic grandmas not a lawyer but my uncle once had a client trying to sue sears for distributing pornography to minors because he caught his 12-year-old son masturbating to the lingerie section i defended a guy accused of debauchery his defense was that the girl had been a one-night stand who had become obsessed with him and had broken into his house found a used condom in the bin that he had ejaculated into and stole it and had then smeared semen all over herself punched herself in the face and had thrown herself into a bush on purpose before going to a hospital she was doing this to get back at him for not wanting to be with her i explained that a jury might not believe this but that i would put the case if he wanted to he was duly convicted lawyer and dog enthusiast here during law school i had the opportunity to work under a special license for the public defender in my city like in most cities they were grossly understaffed and overworked so i had the potential as a 2l to do an actual misdemeanor trial the client that i had to accept was a woman who killed two puppies by neglect she left them in a cage outside in february with no food or water four weeks until they perished then she called animal control to get them i couldn't look at this person without feeling utter disgust it did not help that she had a mustache and a dead tooth when i asked her why she waited so long to call animal control thinking that she should have called before they were dead so they could have been saved she replied i don't like dogs i had to defend this woman as the first person i ever legally represented she took a decent play when it was concluded she thanked me and tried to shake my hand i just gave her a look and left criminal prosecutor here a patrol officer pulled over a driver for some traffic violation i think failure to signal after a heated roadside exchange where the driver initially refused to turn over her license she ultimately relented and thrust the license with undue force into the officer's outstretched hand the cop charged her with aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer when asked to justify his actions he stated that people need to learn to respect the police we dismissed the charge apologized to the defendant and told the cop to never bring us something like that again i can't recall if internal affairs was notified i work with the police every day and the majority of them are good people this guy was a crap thank you for making the responsible choice many of the prosecutors i've worked with would have laughed and let the charges stand my brother fresh out of law school was asked to defend the fraternity being sued for defecating in the dorm room of the pledge who did not finish his bid to be a brother he called the co-defendants and in the plaintiff the poopers and the poopy respectively in our group text if you're hazing someone you're in butthole if you're hazing someone who isn't even part of your organization anymore you're straight up stupid i'm not a lawyer but as a child i was taken into foster care and then returned to my father's custody so he had custody of me from ages 4 16 when i was 22 he tried to sue me for the costs involved in caring for me for that time saying that he had no obligation to take custody of me and had only done so to save me from foster care it was obviously dismissed and i don't talk to him anymore that's seriously messed up on his part criminal defense social worker at a legal aid organization i had a client who ran three red lights on a very busy street knocked over a police officer drove up on the sidewalk forcing people to jump out of the way and was finally dragged out of his car in a parking lot he wanted us to refer him to a civil attorney to sue the city because an officer was too rough with him during his arrest i mean i get it they were probably rough with him police brutality in my city is real but good luck with that lawsuit my abusive father took legal action against me for taking my things with me when i finally moved out of his house and on my own claiming that he was the rightful owner of my clothes school supplies etc obviously the judge dismissed the case in about 30 seconds we don't talk much anymore not a story from me but from my stepmother once she was asked her and took a case involving alleged workplace racism where an african-american woman was offended by a man making a joke about african and european swallows in response to someone's question about swallows according to her she literally had to buy and play clips from a vhs copy of monty python and the holy grail in court to show the woman that it wasn't racism just a monty python reference luckily the guy she accused one and our family got to keep the vhs tape according to her she literally had to buy and play clips from a vhs copy of monty python and the holy grail in port to show the woman that it wasn't racism just a monty python reference that would be it for me hang up the old lawyer inhabit and just retire it would never get better than playing monty python in court as a legitimate legal defense lawyer here break up they were not married client let his ex live in his house with her new boyfriend until her child not my client's child school year ends very reasonable and understanding as heck all in child's interest client was rich and bought and paid for everything finally they move out when we arrived there was nothing to see she dug up half the three metre high spruce hedge with her boyfriend half is hers she said they planted them together they probably burned it because we found some branches in the barrel behind the house where there has clearly been burned something house was cleaned out they took even the spoons and carpets three years already is this going on and i'm fighting over a freaking toilet brush and worthless carpets in court which is in the list among 300 other items last time there were curtains and a boat carrier i hate family law client just has a matter of principle had a woman call wanting to sue dreamworks because her grandson watched the bee movie thought bees were his friends and ended up with a bunch of bee stings had a guy called wanting to sue his ex-girlfriend for pain and suffering i explained to him that we were a personal injury firm and could not take his case since he was not injured he counted with a broken heart is an injury once had a gentleman come to my office with an interest in suing his former employer my office is general civil litigation and i handle our employment matters as an aside to that he also specifically asked for a female attorney for reasons not related to this story i met with him for about half an hour he explained that he had been terminated from his employment and believed it to be gender biased in my jurisdiction an employer needs to show a legitimate non-discriminatory reason for discharge and while this hurdle can be overcome it's a high one i asked him if he had ever been disciplined cited or written up in the past to establish if the employer would be able to say he was an unfit worker if he had an unblemished record our job is easier he said yes 12 times in two years i finished the interview thanked him for his interest in our business but told him we would not be able to take the case i sent him off with a few referral numbers but i don't know if he ever found someone to take his case i'm going to guess he was cited for colonel harassment 12 times in two years not a lawyer but a family friend is she had someone come to her asking to sue starbucks because someone spilled their latte or smoothie or whatever on the sidewalk and she slipped on it and hit her head she claimed starbucks was at fault because it wouldn't have happened if starbucks didn't put extra slippery whipped cream in the drink not me but my uncle takes weird injury cases one involved a guy who sat down in a public toilet and the chemical they had just used to clean the seat gave him chemical burns on his butt and thighs my dad's story as a previous lawyer in california this husband and wife were getting a divorce essa a thing went normal except the husband requested partial custody this was fine except for the fact that they had no children no the husband wanted partial custody of the dog the jurisdiction is that pets are personal property so this couldn't be arranged in the first place but my dad had to wonder why the heck this guy wanted partial custody of a bet so why do you want partial custody does the pet mean that much to you no it's that we both like the dog so she'll have custody and like it but when i get custody i'm gonna take it to the vet and have it put down that's one no one on what you don't say to your defense lawyer interned at a law office client came in to consult with my boss they owned a horse farm in the country and their sister had ridden one of the horses off the farm into swampy bodgish territory of the beaten path the client was dead set on suing the sister for decreasing the value of her horse and wanted to sue her for hundred dollars of damage goods my boss just kind of sat there and stared at her being the good guy he is he told her miss it's going to cost you more than 500 in legal fees you'll be better off doing this in small claims court but i wouldn't recommend that either as the judge will likely throw out the case the client was vehement in suing her sister in court with an attorney to teach her a lesson that she can't just ride off on other people's horses without permission boss told her there was no way in good faith that he could assist with this lawsuit detective here not a lawyer but once had a man want me to charge his wife's lover with carnal assault because she was mentally coerced into having an affair i told him that jedi mind tricks don't meet elements of the offense he filed a complaint against me which was unfounded in nc they have something called alienation of affection and you can't sue someone who has an affair with your spouse a friend of mine got a pretty hefty sum from some schmuck that slept with his wife i once worked as a prosecutor on the misdemeanor docket and heard some really amazing defenses that if the defendant had an attorney would not have made my favorite was this guy charged with speeding who gave what i call the five dollar foot long defense he pled guilty but wanted to provide an explanation to the judge that he had just eaten a five dollar roast beef foot long from subway and was speeding to get home before he fell asleep because roast beef is sedating the judge chuckled and asked if he meant to say turkey a lunch meat that might cause some form of mild sedation the man realized his mistake and said that the five dollar foot long contained both i am trying not to burst out laughing as he used the word five dollar foot long about a half dozen times by this point like he was actively advertising for subway the judge said he didn't think there was such a five dollar foot long available at subway at this point the entire courtroom was laughing the judge told him to choose his food more carefully and slow down along with giving him the maximum fine a year out of law school i once had a potential client who wanted me to sue canada apparently he could not get into the country due to his felony record i tried to reason with him that it was up to the sovereign nation to set its own rules regarding entry to the country but he insisted that we could make a lot of money suing canada i didn't take the case but i told him i might be able to get him a letter that said sorry from canada this reminds me of better course all when that crazy dude wanted to sue the government to make his ranch a sovereign state or something like that saul wanted to take the case because of how many hours he could bill he needed cash but then the guy tried to pay him in his own currency he created for his new sovereign state saying it would be worth billions once they won their case not a lawyer but have a cool story my grandfather promised my cousin when he was a kid that if he ever needed help in life he would help him my cousin went to college at university of virginia and after wanted to go to law school he didn't have enough money to attend so he sued my grandfather on the basis that my grandfather promised him anything my grandfather didn't want to go to court so he just settled it was all very sad and i haven't seen my cousin in over five years neighbors sued a woman for getting murdered in her house burned down because the fire spread to their house and they needed to do roof repair their argument was that her behavior of taking homeless people into her house to give them a meal and some clothes was recklessly negligent thankfully i was working defense on that case but they had a lawyer so somebody took that case i think they just wanted some insurance settlement money but we took it all the way and they took our 98 offer to settle for nothing the week before trial oh i forgot they also threw an emotional distress claim in there for having to see her body being taken out of the house public defender here i defended a dog striker not just any dog fighter but a serial sucker of pitbulls he was arrested charged and after several bond motions out on pre-trial release he was then arrested for freaking a different pit bull the best part was his explanation for how he ended up in the kennel the second time you see he dropped his liquor bottle in there and had to crawl in to get it back in the process he lost his pants happens all the time we took a plea under an old statute they used to prosecute gays for sodomy with an agreement to have no contact with the victim best part was the judge i remember him looking at my client and saying i don't know what to tell you but you you can't be doing this if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 26,233

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Keywords: lawyers, most outrageous court cases, most outrageous cases, lawyer stories, moments in court, lawyer moments, justice, court, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: wrBeVkNz9U8

Length: 22min 9sec (1329 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 19 2020