Lawyers reveal the WEIRDEST illegal questions - r/AskReddit

lawyers of Reddit what are some of the strangest would it be illegal if I questions you have been asked a guy in my concealed carry class was asking a lot of crazy hypotheticals about when he could pull on someone and when he could shoot one night he brought in a gym bag that had duct tape and zip ties among other weird stuff and was asking about the legality and affecting a citizen's arrest and the legality of putting the duct tape over the suspects mouth after the suspects hands were zip-tied I really hope the dude is on a watch list somewhere I used to exclusively practice family law someone asked me if she could unadopted because she hated them and didn't want to pay child support for them anymore more of the saddest things and strangest thing strangest thing was a guy asking me if he could sue camp bell soup because a little bit of the rapper got in the soup when he was cooking it not just a random friend or something this guy scheduled an appointment with my office showed up for the appointment and asks he was ready to sue at a meeting of companies in a citywide industry to discuss how they should handle increased costs of business and lack of market power one owner stood up and suggested that they will just agree to raise their prices and all charged the same price and everyone would keep tabs on everyone else to make sure that no one charges less than that um no that's criminal price-fixing there's the old drinking man's DUI avoidance scheme that people ask my wife who used to be a PD and is now a Nadder about all the time you're wasted driving and get pulled over by police the second you get pulled over you one cut the engine and step out of the car with a full bottle of whiskey preferably JD is the square bottle insures it hasn't rolled out of reach to throw your keys far away preferably in the woods or down a sewer grate three open and pound the whiskey in front of the officer in theory you would only get a public wall stood nurses they can't prove you were wasted while driving you are simply wasted on the side of the road and not in possession of your car in practice you're going to jail for DUI obstruction and whatever else they decide is appropriate for being a pain in the ass and making it harder to tow your car plant is the subject of a protective order prohibiting him from being within 100 feet of the protected person he tells me he has a laser rangefinder and makes sure he is complying by taking line-of-sight measurements of his distance from her by bouncing the laser off her I had to tell him that his literally compliant but worse in the mind of the court than just not complying please either stop doing that or raise more money to deal with the crap storm coming when she notices the laser dot on her in college my brother and his friends would do some deep thinking on this subject after many hours of drinking they would then call the police non-emergency line and play ask an officer the best one I remember was is it illegal to eat a dog the officer said she didn't know but not to the next day brother received numerous calls from different shelters and charities offering to take his dog my brother didn't own a dog a good friend is a lawyer while we were on a guy's weekend abroad he got a text went quiet and texted something back I asked if it was work-related and yes it was a client who wanted his lawyer to pass on some information about where the client had hidden his stash my friend responded simply sorry I think you understand that I can't do that the client stupidly thought that the lawyers confidentiality was a backdoor to using him as a tool in the drug-dealing business no you cannot leave the state with your children when you have an open social services case yes you will be arrested if you do so I was eating lunch and this girl opened a can of soup one of those fat ones with the chunky bits that rhymes with Progresso she pulls out a giant branch turns to me and says can I sue for this I say sure you would win too as letting a large stick like that trough the machine as clearly negligent I then asked her if she bit it and chipped a tooth or something No then your damages are the value of a can of soup are you still going to eat the soup yes you got no damages not so much a question but there is a massive amount of misinformation regarding the law relating to intoxication and consent many people toss around this idea of if you're wasted you can't consent this isin true generally the law is that you can consent while intoxicated so long as you can appreciate the nature and quality of the Act basically you can consent so long as you know you are having sex with the person you thought you were there may be some weird laws in a few jurisdictions but this is generally the way it is kind of a fun one I do a lot of probate and estate planning and I had a guy who wanted to know if it would be legal for him to take money and other valuable possessions and then divide them up into a bunch of waterproof metal boxes and bury them in his backyard it was more of the pasture three or four acres then he was going to leave this three kids each a metal detector to be given to them at his wake whatever they found they got to keep technically at least in my state it's legal that doesn't mean that it's not an absolutely terrible idea everyone wants to know the precise limits of self-defense to the point of high storm'll alibi what do you do for a living I'm a lawyer Oh so if someone called me in our soul and I punched them would it be self-defense every time probably the strangest questions relate to fanfiction though guy punched his girlfriend in the face couldn't understand why he got arrested since she wasn't bleeding lawyer here this is kind of the reverse of the question as it is hey can I sue somebody for this friend of mine has a brother wheel call Craig and my friend had told me this crazy story about Craig and a friend of his Dave who both live in the state's getting catfished by someone in Australia Craig calls me up one day asking for advice on the following Craig and Dave are longtime friends who went to elementary school and are now in their late forties / early 50s Dave gets divorced after divorce Dave meets a woman online who lives in Australia but is originally from Wales and is financially loaded in go and 20 years younger than Dave and they soon fall in love online she wants to move back to Wales to open up an orphanage for children she will be bringing back from Australia she and Dave get quite involved and they've decides he is going to sell all of his belongings and his house in America and move down to Australia to surprise her without telling her so at roughly the time dave is going to fly down to australia there is some kind of hurricane or other disaster that hits one part of Australia although not the part days Welsh lady friend lives in so Dave arrives in Australia and his lady friend is stuck on the other side of the country Dave meets one of her friends who is a middle-aged woman roughly Dave's age who lives in kind of a rundown house in the middle of nowhere Welsh lady gets tied up for what terms in two weeks but she keeps in contact with Dave Dave running low on money gets Craig to wire him $2 zero zero zero completely coincidentally the Welsh woman has an amazingly beautiful sister who is a rich and powerful lawyer who gets introduced to Craig online via Dave Craig in the second Welsh woman fall in love and Craig decides he now wants to move to Australia to help the movie orphans from Australia to Wales Craig sells a bunch of his personal property and drives five hours to meet a private jet sent to him his amazingly beautiful Welsh attorney girlfriend the plane doesn't show after he's waited in a hotel several days he then gets a call from Dave Dave tells him the whole thing is a scam and that the middle-aged woman he's been staying with his actually catfishing both of them with the fake profiles of the Welsh women turns out Dave suspected as much when he asked Craig to wire him the money but didn't want to say anything Craig's legal questions to me one can I sue the woman that Dave went uninvited to visit in Australia for his dollar sign to ke loan two days and two can I sue the Australian government because shouldn't they be liable for the actions of their citizens if anyone knows a good catfishing lawyer let me know and I'll pass the info on to Craig in my first year of law school one of the other students in my section asked three different profes whether a prostitute could sue you for battery for the sexual contact you paid for okay so dude walks into my office with only his shirt covered in blood says he needs to speak to any of the lawyers so they send me sits down in conference room looks straight up at me raises an eyebrow and says to me is it illegal to stab someone with their consent I give him a short answer and half a long answer he smiles and nods leaves the room and passes the receptionist the equivalent of about 40 dollars in cash and leaves we don't charge for first-time consultations when I was a new lawyer one of my high school friends was fixated on the idea that by paying a parking meter you were ending that space and could exclude everyone else from it he wanted to know if he paid for three hours on the meter could he just leave the spot open but get people towed out of it essentially evicting them I tried to explain that an eviction isn't just calling up the sheriff and having someone forcibly removed it's a court case and it takes some time he kept trying to press me to answer that yeah you could exclude someone from the spot never mind that it's not your property and it's not a lease old interest in that land he just wanted me to agree with him it started out as just kind of a silly question but I think he was actually a little too tied up with the idea wife got house in the divorce husband so the insurance on the house lapsed if it just happens to randomly burn down one night she'd end up with nothing right look I'm not saying I'm going to do anything I mean crap happens sometimes there's no way the court would blame me right I was drew from the case shortly after her another divorce it's not illegal to just take all the money to the Ukraine right I know people in banking there she'll never find it me we have orders prohibiting you from moving money out of the accounts Tim yay so I get sanctioned good luck collecting anything from me just as long as it's not prison I was drew shortly after obligatory not a lawyer I was on a police ride-along once where we had to respond to a eleven call from a man in an SRO asking if it was okay for him to stab someone if they tried to come into his house without his permission he wouldn't answer the door so we had to go in without his permission he pulled a knife on the cops and I stood crying in a hallway because I'm soft everyone was okay in the end they took him to a hospital not a lawyer but had a cow Walker once asked if he would get in trouble for peeling the vehicle inspection sticker off his mother's totaled car and put it on the car he wanted to sell that couldn't pass inspection I informed that if he did this and I found out I would not only report him to the police myself but I would kick his ass and make sure he was fired he was trying to sell him in even with major frame rust that hadn't had the seatbelts replaced after an accident so they would not stretch if an accident again had forty airbags that had to be kept off or they would literally pop from the slightest pressure who buys minivans people with kids I was asked if they could sue their ex for pooping on their cat a family member once seriously asked if it would be illegal to burn down his own house because it would be cheaper than having it demolished and it was his own house jack now yes yes it would be illegal to literally set fire to the capital iron law but I worked in a law office that dealt with property disputes briefly there was this guy that had been evicted from his condo with no notice because it was bought without his knowledge by a new company he was leasing I overheard the company rep ask the lawyer if they could write up a new lease with new rent and everything for him after evicting the lawyer just stared at them law I remember the cops in America had to remind people that it wasn't legal to shoot on sight the people dressed as clowns I mean that should have been obvious my dad was an attorney whenever I told his office I'd come up with crazy scenarios to ask his secretaries about before I asked them to put him on the line some highlights include coming in and finding a new secretary who didn't know who I was I told her I needed an attorney as soon as possible because the cops had searched my basement that morning she didn't need to worry because I did a good job of chopping up the bodies so they didn't find anything but I figured I needed an attorney she said he was busy then freaked out when I just walked back to his office called once asking if it was illegal for the cops to confiscate livestock you were hypothetically having relations with since that's my personal property we lived in a rural area and unfortunately that was one of the more believable calls called and asks if it was a reasonable defense if someone had relations with an underage girl who was only underage because we crossed a state line into a different time zone on the eve of her birthday that had put her at the age of consent the funny thing as those weren't even the craziest calls we got at his practice and they never knew if I was putting them on or if it was a legit client the best call I ever talked when I worked there was a lady who was going to call the local news team because her son was still in jail and clearly my dad hadn't done his job I looked up the clients and told her she was welcome to call the local news and tell them her son was in jail for beating up and robbing his neighbor an 80 something-year-old woman I got a phone call from a bar at 1:00 a.m. it was an ex needing to know the age of consent classy stuff not a lawyer but in a class discussing attempted crimes a question was asked was asked if the crime trying to be committed was impossible would it still be a crime the question kind of went eh okay what if you you shoot someone who died in their sleep without you knowing class Oh desecration of a corpse laugher a buck how about if you tried to kill a realistic-looking man of quin class they received crap about it for a looong time a guy in jail charged with driving with a revoked license this violated his probation blames the car impound for giving him the keys to the car after he went and signed to have it released to him had to break it to him that he knew his license was revoked and he went and paid and signed to get the car released got into the car started it and drove off I compare it to the situation where someone blames the victim of a stolen vehicle because they left the keys in the car thereby inducing them to steal it s mhm I don't get a lot of visit legal if calls but the strangest calls I get all the time always start with um yeah in the need you - followed by some completely impractical thing into which the person clearly has not factored the cost of legal services um yeah i'ma need you to make my doctor's office get me an uber because my care is broken no my dude what happens when the content owner for some reason no longer sells that content you lost they still hold a copyright but have no interest in releasing the product because it's obscure mature embarrassed the owner could I then make an argument for obtaining it elsewhere or is there still legal tape preventing me and why question what if I see something that I wanna take and it belongs to someone else then you will be arrested but what if I want it more than the person who has it still illegal that doesn't follow no I want it more sir do you understand me what are you laughing at what I can't have a discussion with this gentleman not a lawyer but worked at a legal organization in an office near reception so I ever heard most of the conversations a woman claimed that someone she knew I forget the relationship somehow stole her cat and was now taunting her with photos of a cat that said hahaha I have your cat and she wanted to know if it was legal for her to enter the apartment by any means necessary to retrieve the cat I know that sounds like a prank but if it was she was pretty damn convincing in how distraught she sounded honestly the place is a magnet for drama and crazy so it really wasn't surprising to get a call like this needless to say she couldn't be helped the orb doesn't handle those types of issues and was referred elsewhere people keep posting amazing questions but don't explain the law according to the question one of the biggest blue bolt threads I've read not necessarily a wood be illegal if that I had a buddy from high school recently asked if he could bring charges for supernatural harassment in first semester of law school very annoying girl asked if she could sue the school for moral damages after being shushed by colleagues for talking in class the question wasn't exactly like would it be illegal but rather in what would happen if the cow died we were talking about property in Roman law so there were actually some cows involved but the question was still a bit odd not a lawyer but I work with them a debtor asked if it would be illegal to pay with a stolen checkbook that they stole because they knew for sure it had the amount of money they needed to pay off buddy how freaking dumb in my experience 95% of the time they already know the answer and about 50% of the time they've already violated the law and about 10% of the time they haven't violated the law they're asking me about but in my questioning to get to the bottom of things they violated some other law in the process of violating or trying not to violate the law they originally asked me about strangest though two completely separate people asking about the legality of sex with a machine / robot in a two-week span you do you robot lovers would it be illegal if the president pardoned him / herself I think we might find out I had a stumper for my lawyer friend that he said was pretty strange so I freaking hate people who run red lights at the last second when I was walking to work every day I almost got killed weekly my question was if I see a car coming in fast see the light turn red then lunge forward towards the cross walk like I'm about to jump in front of this car that's running the light and they swerve and crash am I at fault am I in trouble because I tried to make them crash or are they in trouble for running a red light I should be able to move quickly into a crosswalk right after all I had right-of-way his conclusion is that it probably wouldn't hold up in court oh well I have to and I will keep it vague first client kept coming back to me with pictures of women he found on book asking if she would do in terms of getting a marriage-based green card he was offering them $2 zero zero zero $5 zero zero zero I declined each time second clients till 100k from an elderly man who was in love with his defendants mother after he pled out and spent month in jail which by the way he loved because it motivated him to lose weight was a break from his nagging kids he returned to our firm and asked how much time he would be looking at if after he's done probation he did it all again war if let's say you was in da kitchen chopping carrots with a machete or something cuz you don't RV in ofin and then deafening and then it slip into your sock and you don't know and then he was running to get nabis and it fall into someone's arm you know a couple of times is that legal or illegal obligatory I'm not a lawyer but I do have to go to continuing education regarding laws about the ethical and legal accounting of Mon is given to charity the amount of people in those ethics class is asking really specific hypothetical questions about blatant money laundering type actions is too damn high but so what if someone but not my walk was depositing money for someone who made it under the table and then hired them and paid them out of the account if we keep all that under dollar sign 10k per transaction that's legal right fricking no it isn't she Lea not exactly a would it be illegal hypothetical but my firm corresponded with a potential client who just seemed totally oblivious we received an email inquiry about company incorporation and a lawyer responded with a quote in the required details we would need to go forward including a description of the planned business activities the potential client sent a reply telling us the company would not be doing any business and it was for tax reasons we explained that even if it was for tax planning purposes a company incorporating in our jurisdiction needs to indicate its business activities finally he and I'll back to the lawyer saying okay I think we have misunderstanding here I'm looking to do tax evasion yup my mom a lawyer got asked over the phone under what circumstances could he shoot his neighbor she didn't answer him / r / Tallis from the law I'll just leave this here is it illegal to freakin on it three OMG finally something I can answer obligatory not a lawyer but an articling student lawyer in 8 months and I work in the Family Law field a client was telling me about her husband who is emotionally and financially abusive I asked if he was physically abusive at anytime and her reply was no but is it illegal a fine lie and say that he was I was a little stunned since I'm totally new and this was my first one-on-one with a client I had to tell her what perjury was and its implications as well as the fact that the opposing party can question our pleadings through deposition I have a would it be legal question that I've wondered for a while I'd love to get some real legal advice if you're getting divorced and you don't want to give anything to your soon-to-be ex could you in a sense destroy your wealth so that there is almost nothing to split like if I had 50 mil could I'd give the entire 50 mil to charity so that there is nothing to split with my soon-to-be ex or let's say I don't want them to get the house that I paid for 100 percent so I want to sell it but then my lawyer says that if I sell the house I'll have to give my soon-to-be ex half of the money legally could I sell the house for $1 and give my ex 50 cents I'm talking about acting out of pure spite here in a sense of I'd rather Russ both have nothing than split the assets with you not me but my lawyer buddy is right next to me would it be illegal hypothetically to have sex with a man a quim I am but a Cal Walker with whom I rarely work with warned me about travelling to Iceland I would watch out if I were you in Iceland any man can legally punch you in the face without consequence if he says it's coz wants your wife for yourself critical thinking is rarer than you think make sure to LIKE and subscribe so we can watch together

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Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, reddify, toadfilms

Id: 3v3m0gFmJrM

Length: 24min 30sec (1470 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 15 2020