Laws of Love - Omar Suleiman

so that why it's a lot of the cuts now our Haman have to dial down eat whatever it wanted a lobotomy went around people to the mattefy well almost some people said about a panic over city can't have it in subtle block mining in the Sunda or then he was something he was something to student to feel so actually this is actually a very funny because I see the domestic violence awareness month in the background to and I'll actually tell you a true story less so every year we had the iconic investing in Avastin veterans in the United States and Russia is the largest convention in the United States so we have about 20,000 people come masha'Allah and two years ago we about love in the family right so we have all these talks about romance and all these talks about the way the Prophet SAW Allah I never said I'm used to treat her I'll be Allah on his loyalty to the beach all the Aloha now you know we had all the beautiful stories of home surveying and so many different stories and we talked about domestic violence and you know warning the brothers and stuff like that you know about not not being harsh with their wives and the prohibition on on on abusing your spouse and so on so forth and so paddle on the question answer session one uncle raises up his hand and he goes brother what if the wife is abusing the husband I'm sorry we had so yeah we live in a different time we live in a different day aids obviously but uh so I'm going to point out just a few things that I see wrong with this setting every time we have a talk on marriage you know so Pamela this is the only time that the brothers are as attentive as the sisters I'm not joking with you Mike if any other talk if I give any other lecture the brothers are falling asleep in the sisters Marcel are are paying attention and taking notes and so on so forth if it is all sleepy one it's not marriage all the brothers are tuned in and the second problem is that not many of you guys are taking notes except for these two so they've obviously they're preparing in advance myself up Marcel what they're doing a good job cuz they're preparing in advance everybody else is probably just waiting here for me to say what they already have identified in the spouse that they want so that they can say see Russia alone this year so I should look for this is exactly right so it's all a good none right this is company level but I mean the topic that I enjoy speaking about until about few hours ago I had no idea what we were talking about we said the laws of the blood does it mean how to you know how to interact with each other inside information does it mean what you look for when you want to get married and I think in telethon it will just encompass all of those things and we will do Question and Answer shuttle or Tyra so we'll have a chance to hear from all of you and shuttle about how you feel about some of the different topics that were covering but you know there's how many of you ever heard of Nancy Grace yeah okay Nancy Grace is really really really annoying and she's a newscaster from the United States that's how much you know a few I mean did you all hear about the I know through Facebook not Michelle but we're all connected from all over the world did you guys hear about the Irish ship on think the sister that disappeared you know for some time if there is this whole fiasco going wrong people were tainting their profile pictures and events help find and I used to fun and so on and so forth you know so this this was a frenzy that was going on in the United States so Nancy Grace is you know she focuses on these stories she she identifies a story from all over the country and she you know she'll talk about this story and you know she'll throw in her own two sons but usually her to censor or like 20 cents and she'll talk forever and ever and ever and ever and she talks about things that are irrelevant but juicy right so she brings on the family of this this woman who's disappeared and you know presumably she's been kidnapped we thought that we were the community was under the presumption that she was kidnapped it turned out she was not kidnapped but you know if you can imagine how grieving the family is how much pain the family is in and she spends ten minutes ranting saying this seems like an arranged marriage to me you know here it isn't here in America we get married because of love we don't get married is it how did you know how did you get to know she's talking to the husband of Aisha Hahn you can imagine the guy does not feel like hearing about this stuff right now and she's sitting there lecturing him how did you get to know her in the first place were you guys hooked up by your parents you know did you fall in love first and basically where she was going with this is that you know I chiffon probably ran away because of an arranged marriage right and some kind of luck first and foremost when people say that we Muslims believe in arranged marriages I have a problem with simplifying oversimplifying things in the first place but the point that I'm trying to make is that obviously our Deen is under a time in every way from a societal perspective you know from from in every single subject from a historical perspective you know from a political perspective our Deen is always under attack right and people are trying to say that there's something faulty about our need that it's backwards that you know that you know we're calling everyone to the concave man together things of that sort there's this this is what's happening right now but statistically speaking there is an interesting study that was published by Harvard two years ago they said that if two spouses have two people before marriage were to engage in intimate relationship into it we're too engaged in intimate relations that relationship had a sixty-nine percent chance of failure after marriage I don't know what the divorce rate is like here in the UK with the divorce rate in the United States is 54% now that means that when you get married in the United States you know you have a more than 50% chance you're more than likely to get a divorce after marriage then state Marian soap adolescence I mean the things that we're being attacked for it it's like exactly are you bringing us an alternative right now when we talk about marriage and when we talk about the things that you look for obviously unfortunately even whenever we talk about religion when we talk about faith being the basis of looking for a spouse you have all of the cultural things that come into that you guys have any matrimonial website so you know somehow to luck so you go to some of the matrimonial website laughs but I've never been but you know you go to the matrimonial website and it will say looking for a 28 year old dermatologist from Hyderabad you know how it's like all kinds of crazy crazy expectations from one another right and then you'll have a person who's posing in their profile picture you know in a way that's completely indecent and says I'm just looking for a good religious house you know so somehow luck even the concept of looking for a person for the sake of their faith is completely lost you know it's like all right we're we don't really understand what that means anymore now we go to the prophets of Allah I know some of the recommendations that he gave and there's a lot of pigment in this there's so much wisdom and what the prophets on the love are you some set to look for because on one hand yes faith is the basis but the profits of a lot of money who sort of mentioned another intangible thing which is so important and what was that that we should look for in a spouse what else Deen and what else faith and what else this is a problem are you all married or what do you look for either attack a nun tell Donna Dina why would a couple if someone comes to you whose religion is pleasing to you and whose character is pleasing to you and in fact in some narrations the prophets of along right IVA documental Dona moça Medina however if someone comes to you whose character and religion is pleasing to you and what exactly is hood up see we understand the Deen part or we leave someone understand the Deen part we talk about character we're usually completely lost what is it what is character mean exactly does character mean that it's a comedian this character mean that's a nice person this character mean that you know they're up for a Nobel Peace Prize or something like that what exactly does character describe who can give me the definition of quota brothers or sisters from an Islamic perspective let's get interactive from knowledge all of you don't like who can give me the definition of put of what is for them what is character nobody you understand my American later I'll explain what pocus them who can better tell me in your app that we make that includes the word little I'll give you the first part of God Allah McKenna after Center funky accent loopy oh Allah just as you have beautified my cut my outward appearance and of course there's a weaker narration but sort of very much the recommended sources you say this when you're standing in front of the mirror right so you're seeing the the funny you see the creation you see how a lost panna cotta gave you limbs and he gave you a sense of beauty and you say oh Allah as you have perfected my creation perfect my hook right and hook in the Arabic language and what we can take from this dot when you say along the command sent the hope you say oh Allah as you have beautified my external appearance beautify my inside so literally is your inner beauty so kind of luck how can you tell if a person has inner beauty or not now we're talking about something that's impossible how can you how can you you know how can you analyze a person's photo you can analyze their deed right by how serious they are and you know ship a lot there is ways to analyze their need but how do you analyze their foot oh and we go to a very very important idea because we're going to break away from marriage for a second so guys don't fall asleep on me I'm going to break away from marriage for a second we're going to talk about the concept of food because I feel like this is very important to understanding what you look for in a spouse right the prophets of Allah mighty was set up when he was describing a woman or when a woman that was this was described to the Prophet SAW I set up that prayed all of her cell lock that fasted that was observing all of the outward rituals of deed but she was abusive to her neighbors how the came to the Prophet slice and I said what happened to this woman you know her Deen was on you know was was on farce he had everything that she was supposed to do from a team perspective but she was a very abusive neighbor she abused everyone around her right none of her neighbors liked her what did the Prophet SAW Allah I use that I'm safe you guys have to wake up or else I'm going to make you do pushups that's how we do things in Louisiana what wins the problems why some say about that woman anyone know paradise Hellfire he said that she was in Hellfire but not only not the prophet I said I've said something very interesting merciless of Allah mighty was Silom said let a plate of hija yo phenom she is completely deprived of good on the inside and she is in Hellfire there is no good inside of her meaning if the Dean did not translate into inner beauty and if the inner beauty did not translate into good behavior and good character and good actions then the game was just a front all that was not real all that was superficial all that was just a cover-up all that was just putting a pretty face to a very ugly release with their creator right because that did not manifest itself it did not penetrate the inside and an obvious indication that it did not penetrate the inside is that they were not observing good character and good manners on the outside yes it is the same thing yes there are ways to tell that a person is ugly on the inside but at the end of the day we don't make a judgement about that person's hardware they're lovely you might know but there are ways to analyze the inner character of a person the inner image of a person and the proof of that also is that the prophet sallallaahu Iowa 7 describes to us a person who comes on the day of judgment he comes with his Salah he comes with his hatch he comes with his leg out he comes with the sea out and he comes to the meson and he comes to the scale and in the me Zack what's weight which way to the means out the scale on the day of judgement your deeds and what else the book of Deeds what else you yourself will be weighed on the day of judgment that doesn't mean that if you wait a lot in terms of physical mass that you know because the Prophet cited him said yet then once was a mean you know and I'll leave a huge person would come on the day of judgment someone who's big you know huge fed is ignoring the law a Janecka better look when he does not weigh in the sight of allah so allah tala the wink of the mosquito whereas when the Prophet slicin was describing our beloved mr. Gore the 11th Avenue if in misrule or the alarm who was a dorste I mean in the fitness in the physical sense was a very very small person extremely small unusually small and one time as he was picking AC whack from the tree from the other country the wind blew him up a lot into the tree that's how small he was and his legs were exposed that was a homicide to laugh at his legs and the comments isomer said what are you laughing about what's so funny they said the Augustine law look at his legs they're so small that's what we're lacking the prophets of Allah are subsets you're laughing but these two legs on the day of judgment each one of them will weigh the waste of mounts with it it's kind of luck so the scale of Allah on the day of judgment is different from the scale of this life thank God right it's different but you yourself will be placed in the museum and a loss of hematite will weigh the good of you so kind of luck meaning Allah who weigh what your who nope your hood along the way your character a lost kind of title will wave and so this person the prophets why sanam says he comes on the day of judgment he has all of the our actions and manifestations of deed when I can sub Bajada well on behalf of worship them aha whatever happened he slandered this person he hit this person you know he was rude to this person she probably what he documented this person so what happens all of those people then come and the only currency that exists on the day of judgment is what your deeds so he's giving his good deeds to that person so those people that he harmed because of his bad character they're coming and they're taking all of his good deeds until he runs out of everything all of his good deeds and the only thing left our sins and so he has nothing left to give right and so the people that he hurt would come to him and they would start giving their sins to him they start putting their sins on him look at the situation of this person this is who the person was unless I said I'm called on the day of judgment is Mullis aloofness a true lamented muffler's do you know who the bankrupt person is a person who is completely bankrupt now all of this tells us something very important that whenever we look for a spouse when we look for deem that does not necessarily mean I look for the one who memorizes the most web that does not necessarily mean I look for the one who is the most strict right or the most conservative because sometimes people have those things but they don't have good character and the prophets of Allah Allah setup was as I a long time I'm gonna describe to Canada who would add his hood of his character was for Adam poor and young she fell out he was a poor man walking on the face of the earth meaning what the prophets of Allah my team said it was such a pleasant person so how Allah he wasn't just receiving legislation know you could there have been books written about the romance of the prophets of Allah he was set up you know the character of the prophesy sums the etiquette of the prophets of Allah he was set up and you can imagine whenever the prophets like I said I'm said how you compiled from the ebony the best amongst you is he who is best to his wife on some of the eleven I hadn't assess a lot they honest Allah you told the truth o Messenger of Allah saw Allah mighty was seven meaning what when your wife testifies on your behalf and says yes he wasn't incredible he would be and it wasn't because the box my son was alive because even after he passed away it would still be sad so nothing else or luck you told the truth of Messenger of Allah so Allah are you set up because deemed to the prophets of Allah - Allah was not just legislation was not just ritualistic in its nature it was not it was not just superficial in its nature because if you reduce Deen to that that it becomes just like beauty just like well just like other types of status it becomes superficial in its nature and it's no longer worth pursuits I don't love the prophets like cinema was a pleasant person right countess al-alam are you something the sambar Kevin this is an amazing hadith that I suddenly and describes the profits why set up he was always smiling and he was always laughing and the life of the Prophet so I said it was just a very large smile right but not only not but I saw the 11s ed Bosson I'm the Hackett which means that not only was he always smiling he would make everyone around him smile how do love that's what besa means it wasn't just Bassam Bassam not only was he always laughing in his way so a lot body was of everyone around them was laughing so hard whistling meaning he was a pleasant individual federal law why do some people love to keep his company he didn't were not afraid of him people did not want to stay away from him so when you go looking for Dean what is it that you're looking for you're looking for the Dean from the outward aspect of practice and you're looking for the inward beauty the internal beauty or at least that which is apparent of it in terms of actions and character and good behavior and good morals and those are the things that the Prophet said longmeyer son told us to look for are the other things permissible and you would notice that on the pocket slice 11 he said that you could marry a person for their beauty physical attraction or you could marry a person for their status or you could marry a person for their wealth or you could marry them for their Dean you could marry them for their faith and also lost licen upset puffed would be that the teddy bear that choose the D make the Dean your basis for going out looking may your hands be covered in dust that's how to LA this is something that the province lies under so it is giving us the mercy and wisdom of a sound it is it permissible to marry someone for their beauty yes it's permissible is it permissible to marry someone for their money where's the ATM but the answer is yes it's permissible to marry someone for their money yes is it permissible to marry someone for their status yes but is it wise no are these the ingredients for a long-lasting healthy fruitful marriage no can they be factors yes can they be factors yes but art should they be the basis of what could become a fruitful marriage absolutely not because these are things that are superficial in their nature they can be complements to the basis which is the deed right so whenever you get married yes you should be attracted to your spouse yes there there should be an element of attraction there there is no doubt about that and that's why the province y7 was not unreasonably know sometimes people brags how to look especially you know our dear beloved generation that came down to us and they say you know I married your mother without having her seen her one time I'm certain I think of myself like that was a pretty that could have been a pretty disastrous decision because what if the first time that you saw is out there was wedding I stopped that's not good that's not good because the prophets of Allah are in the Senate what did he advise the young men came to him asking said you should go as look at her you should go look at her meaning what it's not that she has to she has to be you know miss Mecca at that time or something like you know she proposed the minimum requirement of attraction right you're attracted to her that's important right and at the same time if yes some sisters you know so how do I you should know what you're what you're getting into when you marry someone who's having financial troubles if you can handle that and how did you die but if you're coming from from a household where you've been spoiled your entire life and then you go and you marry a guy who's just making ends meet that's that's the ingredient for a disastrous marriage so it can be a factor yes that the person is well off that he's stable right and you don't want someone who's low in society in those types of things lying especially if you come from a higher level of society that can be a factor right we saw it with Nathan Zynga both righteous people but their level of status was a factor it was a doctor okay so these can be factors but the basis of looking and identifing for us house and identifying a spouse should be the things that will last forever which are Dean and Luke and character right is it always going to be a successful marriage no there will be times that someone will get suckered into it you know into a marriage and you will believe that you're marrying mr. right mr. right turns out to be the straw that happens sometimes look at ASEA I need to set up for the 11th time I try ASEA was a good she thought she had mr. right she thought that I was mr. right how she was an honorable woman even before I stopped you know I said again we're talking about quota we're talking about character character shines even without a snap because the province like I said I'm such and now that people are like precious stories you know their jobs Yallah confidentiality of the outcome for this table the best amongst you in the days of ignorance are the best amongst units now this table does not do away with good character Islam polishes good care it's not in our channels good character in the right direction right so somehow a lot there are some situations like that there are you know factors that come into play but but at the end of the day you look for what has the best chance and you put your trust in a loss account without and there are so many things that come into play here number one what is something that you should be doing when you want to get married as far as rebirth is concerned so optimistic positive now here's the funny thing sometimes people come and ask me I want to erase the cloud and things of that sort and then it's like okay you know can you tell me what this Takada is so basically you're saying so that you know you're making a door out to our lost parents islet if this is good for me make it easy for me if it's bad for me take it away from me and then some people have said this to me some people said but I don't want to lost time time to take it away even if it's bad for me can I just make God for that person in particular like fine then what's the point of Vegas Nevada that I have real this is why by the way when you look for the knowledge is so important this was a a situation that happened with me I'm not even making this up a lot when we're talking about this to father by the way so I think we all can agree that with our cultures we have some very very weird practices when it comes to this to father sometimes so here I was you know freshly mom in New Orleans six years ago and I'm thinking to myself how I'm going to I'm going to do some matchmaking now and people are coming to me saying you know look you know can you find can you find the husband for my sister can you find the husband for my daughter then the brothers are coming to me and they're you know and the sisters are coming to me and somehow I'm thinking to myself alright matchmaking time the problem was of course that every time I would find the proper match that person would happen to be from a different country how long the parents would just not have that right because we say we're not racist someone others whenever someone comes knocking on your doors that's not from your tribe a huge grandfather did not ride a donkey with your grandfather we're not having that we're not racist we don't have a problem but we're not having done right granted madam no nope well the alone you approached me that no bottom of their loved one and Hema she and Heath the opening who was a freed slave to come and marry from his family because we're looking for Dean and hook right who was better than the novelty a lot of time so anyway it always turned out that you know we have a day see that we have an Egyptian alright next we have a Hydra body we have something from Karachi next didn't work out we then it's like why is this happening so finally I finally got a notch go to doctors mush up a lot because the girl was a doctor at the family said to our daughter is not going to marry someone who's not a doctor I said fine found the good doctor everything worked out everything the ball was rolling then the next morning I get a call from the sister I'm all excited because this is my first time making the match as in not investable Beckett enough I get a call from visitors and she's crying and I said that in the law would happen the guy might have said something you know ridiculous the guy had a major upset or something like that and she's saying say that I got what do you mean answer wisdom and then she said can you explain to me the sista Pato that's your friend so she's still crying she's explaining to me that in her culture from her tribe they take six sheets of paper they write YES on three and they right now I'm not making this up praise her up put the pieces of paper under your pillow and then after you wake up pick one up seriously right and then how many of you have heard the one about you're supposed to see certain colors in your dreams yeah see see that one you probably still believe that was just about talking about you know what are you talking about you see certain colors in your dreams are you crazy when you're getting this drunk out a lot but again we don't understand the concept of this tejada and then some people pray is step out of the right way which is the frames with our constants to make the doorknob which is basically again Olaf this is good for me make it easy for me if it's battery put obstacles you know between me and it and then if the answer the prop the answer to the Istana truly manifests itself sometimes like hardcore obstacles I'm not talking about like minor obstacles I'm talking about hardcore obstacles but you still insist that this is the one so you're not responding to the you know laughing al-qaeda is giving you clear answers at one point everything is going wrong after you've raised the founder but still this is the one I want right I'm going forth with it so you need to trust a loss catalyst atom and you need to truly when you're looking for a spouse you need to really be sincere and wanting this house who has the best Deen and who has the best Pluto and here is why you know a lot of times we talk about the concept of dating right are we allowed to date this time well it depends how you define dating are we allowed to get to know one another before it's not and ask each other necessary questions yes we can sit with each other you know and as long as we're not alone right in a situation where you know one thing can lead to the other so on so forth you know and by the way there's some more when you're sitting together there's hug along the computer also there's cyber hug look like when you're talking to each other on Facebook account or gchat and nobody else is watching and then you start getting a little bit flirty and you start you start noticing that after a week more smiley faces are popping up all right this is not going this is not becoming you know this isn't to the point anymore you know what's happening at this break right so are we allowed to get to know one another yes and in this day and age in this day and age I think it's absolutely important for you know a potential husband or the potential wife to sit together and talk before they get married it is vital at this point because you know these days you know people have very weird views have very weird leanings and then all of a sudden when they get married it's like here's you know here's the surprise right so many different surprises here and there to get together and to ask each other to see what their common interests are their common goals right their views on D these are so important right not that after they get married by the way you're not allowed to work by the way you're not allowed to drive by the way you know I married a second wife like ten years ago you were supposed to be mister no you sit together and you can you ask one another you talk to one another right but not in a way that's inappropriate not in a way that becomes flirtatious or unnecessary right and does that work statistically speaking it works a whole lot better than the quote unquote love marriages whatever people come together whenever people have experiments in all of the things that they're not supposed to experience until after marriage and once they get marriage the only thing that kicks it is responsibilities and that really sucks you know when responsibility gets kicked into it it's like met you know I was enjoying myself without marriage why do I have to get married now what's you know some challah why did I add all this undue burden on myself and then some Muslims asked well why can't why can't we you know we don't we don't have to sleep with each other you don't have to commit to all that stuff why can't we just talk with each other why can't we just you know go out to each other with each other watch movie hold hands things of that sort and I'll explain to you why at that point and this is just human emotion by the way do you or do you not think that your decision will be biased after that think about it those little thing has become slanted at that point right because you're infatuated and you might be taking that as being loved but you're infatuated right you've already experienced the face that the person puts on outside you've already experienced some of the joys and things of that sort right and so your decision-making is now flawed right and at that point let me tell you what happens and this happens in MSA is your eye socks or whatever it is in different different college organizations different Islamic organizations people have gotten to know one another than I want to marry her why do you want to marry her because she's religious okay why is she religious because at that point your decision-making is flawed you know what because everything she does at that point or everything he does at that point you're going to interpret as being religious like myself she's so good she prays the other day the other day I saw her driving and she was listening to sir everything everything you will force her to be religious you will worsen the people is just even if they're not religious at that point why because you already made up your mind and your decision-making is flawed at that point your decision-making asswad at that point right so see how a lot a lot of Hannah Tyler gives us an opportunity you pursue a person for these and you pursue them for hope and you pursue them thinking you know putting all of the factors into play because this is an extremely important decision right and you can imagine is Pat a lot of why is that there's so much other so much punishment that comes from just you know continuous dating and testing the water is here and there you know some kind of a lot of times just ask the ask those of the people that are some of you may have been in the situation where you used to do this and then a lot spent on a guided doing things of that sort when you use to date that's help that's torture right you invest yourself emotionally into something you tells you you tell someone all of your secrets and then all of that falls apart and then you go it's like a roller coaster next person right you go through that you experience the joys you think that this is the right person then boy that's done too and you keep going and going and going and going and then once you get married what makes you think that you're going to be able to have a happy marriage you're already used to relationship failure you've already been with different people so you'll get sick of your spouse very very very quickly and then you say why is it lost continuities to me right why the lost contact put me in happy relationship think about that for a moment so Montana tada he gives us home in karate and karlip ära with a musical as well and incest alaihe wa ja'a Lena kuma whether Tawana from the sign Hamas Canada for those who think who constantly he created for use houses from amongst yourselves and here are the functions of America detest school alaihe a second in the Arabic language is what your home right detestable alaihe you dwell with that person you find comfort in that person what are the functions of a home right Vijaya vein acknowledge that or after Melinda is to want to please someone else water and compassion mercy allah sunnatullah puts these things between the spouses right and they grow together they learn about each other over time and you know what they're there they're learning to love everything about each other and they're looking at each other from the lens of Deen and protocol so even when these superficial things start to fall apart because guess what if you're beautiful you get older right whenever the beauty starts to fade away if money things away right if the money starts to go down to drink - how many marriages fall apart because of financial troubles right kind a lot I mean I was I was reading something in Newsweek I remember maybe a year ago there was talking about the effect of the economic crisis on marriages that marriage cannot stand on its two feet anymore why because the money is gone everything's falling apart so the things of being put up aren't there to hold that marriage right but Allah Fatima Tejada gives us those things you make that the basis right and a lot Spanish Allah also says honey bastard nekima into navasana they are a garment for you and you are a garment for that so essentially whenever I go looking for a person I'm looking for a person who's am I looking for a person who's less than me who I can correct that I can bring to my standard of these like yes she's really pretty and she has potential or he seems like a really good guy yes to touch women for someone who has potential the walkie didn't see a clock you know see a shirt that's hanging and say he sure has a lot of potential might take it home and I cut it up no if it's not ready for me if it's not ready this is not this is not the shirt that I'm going to be able to put on tomorrow that's going to immediately beautify me I don't want that shirt right so so how long I don't look for potential I don't even look for someone who is just equal to me indeed what do I look for I look for someone who's better than me and Dean so I think can cover my falls and unify me in those same spots where I know that I'm lacking right I know that that I can do better right so I look for for someone who's better in Dean to make me that better person right and caught up because hood up is important too yes there are some people that on the way to becoming religious people turn-offs panel up I always say this you know on your way to becoming a religious person don't become a crappy human being seriously so some people on their way to becoming religious become jerks somewhere along the line right become judgemental become arrogant the comprise will they start to think that they have understood the quran' and soon and everybody else is upon falsehood at you you know the truth lies through me and things of that sort you avoid those types of people trust me those people are worse than the ones that don't have dean or group because they're using the dean and they're just adding that into their superficiality right you look for those things that can you know you look for that person that wants to grow in the deen and if the priority is Dean if the priority is asked you know then you will see incredible things happening you will see that that relationship will be able to withstand the trials and the other thing and I'm going to end with just one story this is a very powerful story story and it shows you what the Dean is about you know it shows you that the how being can actually infuse love inside the relationship you know there's a hadith from the mess I said of frightened tone the story it's a beautiful honey right the mountain allahu la nariz muslims authentic hadith the Prophet I said upsetting rocking oblong of my father mean a lady feel so Dida what a mother my son blood but in event not happy when she had not had allah may allah have mercy on a man who wakes up in the middle of the night to pray right he wakes up for pee on it so he wakes up his wife to pray and she refuses you know I see her she stands up in Grace and if she refuses he goes and he takes a little bit of water ok doesn't go and take a flower right water gun no no he takes a little bit of water he sprinkles it on her face so that she could wake up and pray with him right and then was applause I said upset rocky mo bhagavata harm athena lady Cassandra what eight others Oh jihad force on that in other mullah happy when she and Matt and may Allah have mercy on the woman who wakes up in the middle of the night this is a two-way street remember this is a two-way street she wakes up in the middle of the night to pray and she tries to wake up her husband to pray to and if he refuses she takes some water and she sprinkles it into his face right to wake him up right two people that are growing in the Deen together two people that are looking for something that cannot be given to them in this world but they know is guaranteed so long as the other person is capable of getting me closer to that goal then that person is a valuable asset of my life it's as simple as not so long as I can see this person as someone who's bringing me closer to my goal so if my goal is ocula then I need that person in my life right somehow to luck you know it and once you start seeing marriage that way rather than just you know you know of course you started off with the right way you start looking for the things that sort of as long as you see marriage in that way rather than just a trial run because in this day and age honestly you go into a marriage and that possibility that learning possibility that this lightning this might not be right one is always there that haunts you and at the end of the day it's almost like you have more than a 50% chance of getting divorced even in the Muslim community by the way divorce rates are going up why because they start for the wrong reasons they're built upon faulty foundations right so they're not able to hold that pressure they're not able to extend it so it's kind of like but if we looked at it with a sense that this is something that's permanent I have to make this work only under you know only under extreme circumstances am I going to let this fall apart then you'll make it work inshallah time you'll compromise for the other person you'll compromise to make things work why because at the end of the day when I married this person for Dean they still got that and they're still looking for the same goal I'm looking for and we're helping each other get there a table and I'll end with one story because this is something that's a very very touching story and just to give you some background of this story it's about one with if not on the Aloma time now before I talk about Abel did that and what I want to get to um did that would be alongside a handle was someone who narrates the hadith about the virtues of knowledge right he's someone who traveled around the world seeking and teaching the south he had a lot of knowledge with the alone time and he was overly enthusiastic about you know about the Deen whenever it came to him so whenever the prophet sallallaahu I need a centum paired off the unsoldered with the mujahideen right whenever the prophesy seven came to Medina everybody on Saudi every local of Medina hosted one of the Mahajan II one of the people that was expelled from I cut the traveler that those who emigrated from Mecca right hosted them in their house and the problem slicin impaired everyone a brother from the unthawed with a brother from Omaha Genie right who was the brother of would that that some man in fantasy will be alongside I said man if I see what is he Mahajan yes not from Mecca but from from Persian right he was he was going around looking for the Prophet slice of him from Persia and he found the prophets the time whenever the problems lie some had just made it to Medina right so as soon as I some pairs said not with habla de da whenever I said man gets to the house of Allah that and this was before the ayah a job had been revealed okay the I have hijab the commandment page was not revealed until four years after hits rock at this time the IFP job had not been revealed he sees home Adela and he walks into the house and she has a cloth that's beat-up right it doesn't have much you know it doesn't you know it's got patches all over it stains all over it she doesn't you know she has blisters on her hands right and he feels sorry for him she says where is he says to her worries of the did that and she said smiling with contentment she says your brother over there that has no need for this world right so so not only along Todd animal wanted to get him home more often so some man finds out that I would go to that is fasting so the man says I want lunch come to the house you gotta serve be like a guy who likes together he brings him home for is this him teeth lunch with him right and then at night whenever that was to stand up in print beyond the dead said man will be a long time who wants to go to sleep don't bother me with your cotton things of that sort you know he forces him to sleep with his wife right to be with his wife and then they go to the conference of I said it and with the dust as to the products I some is what he's doing right you know he's taking me away from Tom he's taking you away from beyond things of that sort right in the profit so I still have agreed with said man and he said verily a lot is Right upon you your family has right upon you yourself has a right upon you right so you have to give each one its due right so your family has a right upon you so much that that would be law and who we can take from that that he improved because he's someone that listened to the prophets of Allah - of them so we can say from not that he improved but his financial situation was never really that great right oh my god that will be a long time huh was someone who used to beat around the prophet sallal arsenal a very very young age a little girl that used to play the muslin and things of that sort and someone who grew up loving knowledge right now let's fast forward about 40 years I would them that well the alum time who is about to die and he's lived his wife food of that omen that will be a long time I had never really tasted the sweetness of the studio because although you can take from this over that was surely spending more time with her things of that sort he never became a rich man and she's he's seeing her husband died and what does she say to her husband at that moment she says to him listen whenever you came to propose for me in this dunya you asked my father for my hand and I accepted so she says to him so as colas have Italian and for me to be your wife in a novel had a lot I want to be your wife and gentlemen they were both looking for the same goal right now you can take from that you could say you know that was probably just sweet emotional talk right on person's leaving in anyway this light they start to talk about this type of stuff and everyone gets you know everyone becomes nice whenever death is taking place and things of that sort this is probably why this was off that's probably why she settled up but guess what happens after that when other thought that passes away she gets a proposal a marriage proposal just from who from Walia in any Sofia what the love time was the hanifa of the Muslims she gets a proposal and while we live a long time I'm who is someone who's wealthy you know he's someone who has status and Isaac Muslims range from Qatar and watching those who wrote the way he's one of the companions of the messengers horizon and he's sending a proposal to omit that that will be a lot of time and listen to the responsible what they're not with you a lot of time she says I cannot marry you because I'm already engaged other than that internet some kind of love unbelievable unbelievable what was she thinking of where was her heart where was her mind where was her mission it was with coming closer to a loss of how much out of and that marriage even though it did not have the things that we would think make America successful make a marriage good and had that ingredient that cannot be taken away by any economic crisis that cannot be taken away by any aging process it had lovable lust panna cotta in it and you look for a person who is going to who's going to be whenever you married a person don't think about that person as just being your spouse in this dunya think about that person of being yourselves in paradise is this a person that I can see getting to paradise and we know in that agenda if one person makes it to a higher level of paradise from the family what do they do it to the lower one does the higher person go down to the lower one no come on up they dragged you up if you have a family of righteous people if you have righteous children if you have a right to spouse you're right there's more righteous than you and you just made it into Jenna and she's up there and for the dose she will come down and get you in all of your kids since a long time right so whatever if you look to get married look for the person that is befitting to you in this dunya and in the ocula I ask the Lost Planet ila to bless us all with fruitful and the good marriages and I ask the lost can Italia to make us among the righteous ourselves and we make the drop even from our childhood we consistently make the drop or benign heaven element as well gee now with the reality now for what they are even vagina in with subpoena Ivana open a banana as well as you know the react in a pure Italian which are not entertain any mother or when I have it I have it as well as you know II literally are Tina are you which I'm not in with subpoena Jana Oh a lot of grants from our spouses from our children the coolness of our eyes the source of the coolness of our eyes and make us for the mood appeal for the community of believers and righteous imam niye makers leaders come to the community of the righteous physical law claim

Channel: Digital Mimbar

Views: 182,473

Rating: 4.9273953 out of 5

Keywords: Laws, of, Love, Omar, Suleiman

Id: tbHTTRVIaHQ

Length: 47min 12sec (2832 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 30 2012