Kyle Cease - People can only hurt the false you

hey it's Kyle and I think there's a day that my hair goes from cute to ridiculous like it's in one day it goes from I like it to just sprouted sprouted wheat is like in today's the day it's just a weird poof I was meditating and I ended up tweeting something or and writing it on Facebook and it was nobody can hurt you they can hurt your past story they can hurt your expectations they can hurt your false image of yourself but they can't hurt you and then I said if you so if some something's hurting you get excited because you're getting closer to what you really are and got a lot of great comments on it and a couple people asked me if I would elaborate on that and so I thought I would if you have an expectation for instance I'm going to be with this person forever an expectation is different than an intention if you have an intention to be with the person forever that means you're going to aim for that but you're not addicted to the results meaning like you being with that person forever isn't your god you getting that result of you and this person being forever isn't more important than what you are and intention is different than an expectation and intention is I'm aiming for that but if it doesn't happen I understand it's not the end of my life okay so if you have an expectation with somebody and then they leave you they never break your heart they break your expectation they hurt the expectation that you had that you were supposed to be with this person and the the real problem wasn't that they left because them leaving or them cheating on you or doing whatever they're doing is them where they are in their and one of the biggest reasons we stress is we try to control things that we can't control and we don't control what we can so if you're trying to control what someone else does you're going to be stressed out of your mind because other people have their own freewill and their own abilities so you can have your intention but you can't make their intention to be with you because they might change gears and your stress is that you're trying to control them so if you're with someone and they cheat on you and you're mad about that it's not that they hurt you they hurt your expectation they hurt your decision that you decided that they were supposed to be with you forever so you could have expectations for a lot of things you could have expectations that I'm going to make a million dollars this year and someone could get in the way of your plan that you're trying to do something a certain way and sorry my my meditation alarm just went off and let's say that alarm went off and I got mad about it I would have gotten mad because I have to make this video perfect I would have had an expectation right but if I just go with the moment instead the alarm going off becomes content now I'm making this point so I'm in the moment talking about it because I don't have an expectation that this video has to go perfect if I had an expectation that this video has to go perfect then the alarm going off would have screwed everything up I remember seeing comedians that had their set lists and their jokes would have to be a certain way but then when a heckler showed up that gets so mad for me when I was in flow heckler became part of the show was all one thing and that's life to me you could also have that who you are as your past you might say who you are is an old accomplishment who you are is this thing who you are as a victim even you know for instance some people say you know 20 years ago this thing happened to me and because of that I can't do this thing and someone might say well that's not who you are right now and that could make you mad because you're defending that who you are as your past you think your identity is your past story you are making you or God your soul your universe your heart everything this limited or or achieving past identity all of them no matter how big it was was still limited because what you are in this moment is so much bigger it also there's also the chance that you have a false identity going meaning you're putting on a show to impress somebody because you're under the illusion that you're not complete unless you get love from that person so if you put on a show and you say that it's got to be you know this is who I am and then someone calls you on your BS first of all you were already in LAC because you were saying I got to do this fake thing so I can get something so you're already implying to yourself that you think that who you are as someone in LAC so if you put on this show and all of a sudden you're creating this presentation and then something stops that presentation then you're going to be mad because you're putting on a false identity so you can get something and that stopping of it stops you from getting something when you understand that all of these are different shields different different defense mechanisms different protection mechanisms your false paths that you're living and saying who you are is this you're achieving a false identity that's trying to get something from people or your your expectation of your future your plans all this stuff when you understand that who you are is none of those things you're just this moment you create so much space for so much unconditional love when you're just this moment nobody can drink an bother you what people say about you only is them calling out something in your ego but never you because all you are is just love when you connect to what you actually are you're never affected by what people do in fact you can see their pain and you have nothing but loving or compassion for them even if they're directly yelling at you angry you can be in a place of absolute ownership of yourself forgiveness of yourself and just nothing but love for them so when someone is just screaming at you and mad at you or whatever you can listen to what they're saying a psychopath hears it and is just like taking it in love understands is compassionate feels understands their pain and has nothing but love for them and has the ability to hear all of it but not numb it actually just be a space of love that's bigger than the anger that the person yelling at you is in because you're just unconditional love so when you're in your space of love you aren't affected by what other people say but you can be a place of forgiveness compassion whatever to help them in their anger heal themselves so if you have an expectation understand that sometimes when someone screams at you or puts you down and it hurts get excited because you just identified the problem wasn't what they said the problem was you were in an expectation remember that's different than an intention an intention is you are doing it but you're not addicted to the outcome an expectation is you're doing it for the outcome because you think who you are is the outcome if someone if you're in your past and someone puts you down and it makes you mad you're like no I was I was an actor or I was in that thing or I was I say those because I was in ten Things I Hate About You and not another teen movie and if someone said that's dumb or that movie stupid or whatever your husband from those movies and it hurts me that's because I think whoo my identity is is my past so get excited because I'm under the illusion that Who I am is my past and I can let go of it a little more through my compassion of this moment and love of it if I'm being fake or phony and someone calls me on it if it triggers me that's because it's true you're never triggered by something that's not true to you if someone says you're a purple monster you don't care because that's not true so get excited if someone has hurt you emotionally because it's not that they had the ability to hurt you it's that you were in a false identity and the second you identify that and love it and give it compassion it starts to leave and you become more and more space of this moment you

Channel: Kyle Cease

Views: 34,737

Rating: 4.9042144 out of 5

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Id: IQeKt1pgle0

Length: 8min 59sec (539 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 20 2016