*Kissing Booth 3* BROKE ME

hello troublemakers welcome into another movie commentary monday we got a sad one sad sad sad it's sad because it's the end of an era it really is the kissing booth three the final one i hope i pray that they're not gonna pull like an after and they're just like oh well we got the original trilogy and then there's like eight more movies after so get ready for a lifetime of cringe i went and watched my kissing booth one and two videos just to kind of refresh myself and when i was watching the kissing booth one my commentary for it i realized how different my life is from when this started and that just kind of made me sad until i hate myself very nostalgic so in order to give our respects to this film i am going to forgive three cringe moments the first three cringe moments that happen i'm not gonna say a word about it just gonna let it slide right under the rug how long is this movie gonna be oh here it is i'm ready set it's gonna be over but i'm also happy it's a weird it's a weird feeling uh the graphics on the water yep after graduation i forgot that's how the kissing would start their films just like oh here's the montage and just explaining everything putting off the inevitable decision between the two colleges where i got accepted that's the problem of this film too many colleges want me too many elite universities in the us want me to attend their school how do i decide my life is so difficult we camped in the woods went fishing on a lake drove to san francisco watched our naughty video from chemistry lab what you were on the security cameras banging in a classroom on some desks how did you get access to this footage who else has seen this are you not embarrassed i was thinking when you get off the waitlist for harvard maybe you and i could get an apartment together like get our own place no stop well hold on he's super duper rich so he's gonna get like a luxury apartment and you know he's the kind of guy he's rich she's not expecting her to pay with her broke ass like what i got i hate this girl so much she's i think 31 or 32 playing an 18 year olds can you decline calls from harvard i feel like if you decline their call they're just like all right [ __ ] you we have so many more applicants like we don't need you you need us [ __ ] it's really okay yes i would like that very much yeah i thought you might where are you two going ah they're gonna go bang i'm pretty damn sure i'm gonna be having my rachel withdrawals i'm gonna be having my rachel withdrawals bro okay this place is so nice gosh he's not into it what's wrong well he's a little bit too clingy i no i can't blame her for that one but like he's super rich let him do his dumb clingy [ __ ] any big plans for the summer we were all talking about heading over to the beach house is everything okay yeah everything's fine oh they had to sell the beach house because they're poor now oh yes holy [ __ ] i'm gonna be so satisfied if everyone's poor we are planning to sell the beach house cause you're a poor wait so where are we gonna watch the fireworks on the fourth of july no i'm sorry i'm putting my foot down you guys are not selling i gotta go with flea on this one imagine you're spoiled rich kid saying i'm putting my foot down parents you're not allowed to sell this excess house that you have because we want to use it once in a while nope nope nope nope nope i would slap the [ __ ] out of my kids not really i'm not a violent person i i'm not really like with that spanking and hitting stuff but i would be thinking about it is this a vote because i vote no oh imagine imagine this little poor brat dating your son saying i don't think you should sell your house because i want to inherit it [ __ ] this girl sorry guys it's been decided because they're poor i'm gonna slow down because i'm having too much fun already i think i'm creating extra plot lines because i just know if i want to enjoy this experience i have to create them for myself because the movie's not gonna create them for us you know i'll be back this better not be this is don washington from uc berkeley's admissions the admissions offices have been getting ghosted by her so much that they had to hide their call so that she would answer just move on we need your decision by end of business day tomorrow don't go to college colleges end up being scammed sometimes anyways who [ __ ] cares the next day we all drove down to the beach house to do something i never thought i'd have to do help the friends get ready to sell it sucks for you that was a nice beach house huh no stop stop we're not doing this right now we're not doing this sentimental montage for a location the audience has never seen you can't you can't do that to us we have to have fond memories watching these characters in this location for us to then have any sort of feeling for like the house being gone or sold you can't just have the characters be like oh i'm gonna miss this house and then expect us to give a [ __ ] i had spent literally every summer of my childhood hanging out here with me and we've seen none of it this is how you like end a series i guess the ending of friends they leave the apartment close the door close up on the thing so many shows end like that because you have such like an attachment to the place but the people are moving on and they're going to a new part of their life but you can't do that here because we've never spent a single goddamn second of movie in this beach house so having this big send-off for this beach house that none of us have ever seen or known about what are you doing it's too rich look at how blue that water is they got some top-notch coastal property this is ridiculous they're too [ __ ] rich we need to make one pile for the stuff we want to keep another pile for things we want to put in bags and donate everything's gonna end up in the keep pile right [Music] this is so [ __ ] stupid i hate myself wait is that what i think it is our beach bucket list uh this film better not be a [ __ ] bucket list a before college bucket list i will literally throw up how long does it usually take to sell a house out here we have to put it on the market but i don't know maybe two or three months they haven't even started the process of selling the hot well then they're keeping the [ __ ] house despite their financial woes that i've created for this for the sake of the enjoyment of this film your wish is our command okay i don't care just decide i really don't care what you decide either i've made a decision she said no to berkeley harvard what [ __ ] oh do not run away like a little [ __ ] these are [ __ ] four-year-olds now this is like how like an eight-year-old would react to getting sad news they're like no i want to be by myself and then they run off well it's there to talk about you know this is just the way things go right we've done this that's what the first two films were is like accepting that you're growing up and you've had your outburst and then you've solved it stop he's too clingy he's got some issues okay you're leaving me he's like the quintessential spoiled rich kid from like age 8 to 18 now he has not grown at all he's still a petulant little child you're going to a different college just runs off all i wanted to do was show him how much he meant to me not the [ __ ] bucket list the best summer ever i promise she's like walking on eggshells with him he's such an emotional disaster rule number 18 what yeah he got into harvard wow he's been breaking that rule for a long ass time i've got a really good feeling about this your parents are having financial difficulties don't not sell the house potential he he and then his brother's going on fixing his mistakes which is gonna be his whole life if he doesn't learn a lesson by getting slapped by his father you can't yeah he's just petulant he's a petulant little child are you a berkeley guy yeah i start in the fall get out of here man seems like a nice new friend not you going to school away from your best friend being jealous that your best friend found a new friend not that's not happening why is everything so goddamn toxic our bucket list one two three oh please montage through this yes i don't know if i like how they're doing this or if i'm just so happy that we don't have to spend this whole goddamn film going through this dumb ass bucket list we're not going to be able to do all of our bucket list items bucket list item number 22 live together at berkeley they have so many goddamn lists there's like the friendship list there's this bucket like can you stop listing things and giving them numbers i accept your offer oh what are you doing here we were hungry that makes sense hey hey loser what you up to why in back-to-back scenes are you bringing back questionable love interests for the two main protagonists uh we're over this right we're not doing the jealousy thing again right you should come by our place for a bit oh wait didn't i say i was gonna forgive cringy [ __ ] okay so the next three cringy things that happened not gonna say a word you rushed out of the house so look at how bad the shot is i actually like some of the stuff they're doing uh to spice up visually and i talked about that the the commentary for the second film but just look how boring the shot is because they they're not really properly lit which makes sense because the location you don't want to have unnatural lighting on them but then just look at the background it's grade nothingness it'd be great if you put some more lights back there chloe's actually gonna be in town i told her it would maybe be cool if she wanted to stay at our place for a bit is that okay with you yeah oh my gosh yeah absolutely so totally random i ran into marco and his family eating at the restaurant so he's gonna help us with this cool bucket list thing oh that's kind of a double standard i was totally fine with chloe uh it's not a double standard because i didn't kiss the girl and you kissed a guy on stage in front of thousands of people a little bit different oh i didn't kiss chloe oh [ __ ] got him why the hell not luckily i'm not gonna wear a costume and whatever this uh little mission is that you got going but oh it's the mario kart thing right i saw it on the bucket list they're gonna dress up as [ __ ] mario characters what is a girl gotta do to get water on table 17 jeff jobs only the [ __ ] rich kid would just put on an apron and work for free you don't work here like yeah no you don't gotta pay me i'm super [ __ ] rich i get everything set up for you at the water park is noah helping out too uh you know typical noah we couldn't get him to wear the costume maybe some linda oh why in wattpad stories or any fanfic are people always spilling [ __ ] on each other your dad and i were wondering if you could have dinner with us um i i think i'm gonna have to pass on that okay well your mom was an old friend of mine it would be nice to talk about her with you but uh well pro advice for anyone going into a new family don't talk about their dead mother i say that's probably just like the number one thing like i'd save that conversation for like when it feels right hey i used to know your mom i'm hoping to take her place in your family you don't you don't really give a [ __ ] right how i've been sitting here for oh my god how are we only half an hour in i feel like i've done a full movie commentary already can we just wrap this up can we just call this a full commentary it was nice to meet you liar ah was that creepy ah pass she gets a pass zip not gonna say a word but i will reenact it i hope that girl killed her mom because she knew her mom maybe she wanted a spot in their family so she killed elle's mom this is canon this is part of the story now that's that's what happened oh my god your brother is adorable [Applause] that would be me i would be noah i had a petulant little child except he wouldn't be landing in water he would be landing in a pit of snakes so yeah we did end up going to the comic book show after that with 80s mini golf night oh my uh wait a second you did a bucket list item but not with the person you created the bucket list item thing with that's foul that's a little bit foul anyway i'm really sorry lee oh just did she blow him off as long as we're still good for tomorrow also action's gonna come too i don't like this guy this guy as an actor he feels like emptiness on screen i don't know how to put it but like any time he's in a camera shot i want to look anywhere else it's like an empty part of the frame he doesn't have enough charisma or like screen presence to make me want to look at him on screen if his frame was all white right here you'd be like all right let me look at something interesting [Music] nope nope i'm gonna let it go i'm gonna let it go i thought we're done with the whole jealousy thing but what exactly are they gonna do i'm so stupid hold on a second something looks different with him his hair looks better than it was the last film maybe he's using function of beauty custom shampoo and conditioner i bet that's what it is this video is sponsored by function of beauty let me ask you a question do you shower or are you jake gyllenhaal for those of us who do shower most of us go to the store to pick shampoo off the shelf that's no bueno why because those are plain formulas not specific to your hair type instep's function of beauty how does it work you take their hair quiz you just answer a couple questions they ask you about your type of hair is your hair straight or curly is it thin or thick do you have a dry scalp or do you have an oily scalp you also pick out hair goals whether you want to lengthen hydrate strengthen condition or any other number of goals bing bang boom function of beauty compiles all the information you tell them and they customize a formula just for you clean ingredients great sense and it's made to fit your hairstyle specifically and best yet you're going to get 20 off your first order if you use my link which i will leave in the description below click that link get your own custom formula and take care of your hair people also sorry jake gyllenhaal i didn't mean to come at you like that but i just i would just recommend showering more but like just live your life you know do you thank you again to function of beauty [Applause] i like this because the boyfriend wouldn't put his pride aside and be like yeah i'll do your stupid little bucket list dressing up as mario kart characters on a race track i'll just watch and then the other guy that wants her is like no no i'll put my product aside have a little fun me a helmet oh yeah now toxic so toxic why is she on the track i have a feeling someone's gonna get seriously injured don't get your hopes up dylan mario is the number one this is the third i'm not i'm not gonna say a word about this this is the third cringe pass that you get [Music] [Music] serious injury serious injury serious injury oh my god someone's gonna get paralyzed oh yes oh no why no injuries well then what's the [ __ ] point is everything okay no mario everything is a disaster why the guy that you kissed in front of the whole world is wearing the costume that you asked me to wear notice you said no that's why don't be mad at her i don't know [ __ ] it everyone be mad at everybody i don't give a [ __ ] it's embarrassing i mean she's standing there in a full mario costume a cartoon plumber everything about this is embarrassing is everything okay her parents are divorcing yeah my dad just told me that him and my mom are getting a divorce i was [ __ ] joking i need to leave i need to leave what is that what wait a minute i cannot believe they're getting rid of our ddm machine and we're still on for tonight right we put a lot of work in it so we can't be late yeah no don't worry i won't be late she's gonna be late oh not her dad romancing the killer of his wife oh it's noah one to make up for yesterday i have this thing with lee and it's like we've been planning it for weeks you're actually gonna go and i made you do it i'm sorry hey you okay not flash mob not [ __ ] flash mob she [ __ ] blew off her boyfriend romantically setting up a private dinner for them on the beach for her to do a [ __ ] flash mob with her boyfriend's brother [Music] why is margo here why is marco here why did you ditch your boyfriend to do a flash mob with your boyfriend's brother and the man you kissed on stage in front of your boyfriend i can't take her aside i really i just i'm trying i was doing the bucket list to soften the blow to leave how is there [ __ ] an hour left how have we only been through 45 minutes of film brad if her brother got kidnapped yeah oh i thought maybe the the the woman that killed her mom and who's not trying to infiltrate the family maybe kidnap the son try to like negotiate her way into the family i'm right here yeah but i was supposed to come get you yeah but the [ __ ] the murderer came in and picked him up instead she's trying to push the daughter out you saw her face before murderer face how much longer on table 25 son of a [ __ ] we hit the other trope the other fanfic trope of flinging food in the air as you fall bus dude you gotta go you're just causing problems at this point you're doing okay not really what is so great about her that like many hot guys are just after she's she's insecure causes problems chooses her [ __ ] friend over her boyfriend all the time like what is so great here so what you're just gonna give up i'm not giving up you should how much time you got what time is why don't i come back at the end of your shift sure it'd be great if you had someone in your life where you could share your experiences with and talk out your problems most people that's their boyfriend but i guess it works if it's the person you cheated on your boyfriend with sorry we're closed oh i would think i'm getting murdered if someone after closing comes in all the lights are off and starts making noises like before the song comes on i'm like oh my god i am dying tonight oh please be marco it's marco marco said he's coming back mark marky mark oh just break up you're too toxic [Music] you're pursuing a taking girl what do you expect not mess up that room you know what they've done in this film they haven't like focused at all on lee's girlfriend and i love that for me oh boy what's what's here [Music] did you tell him that he was she was wait listed but she got it she's creating problems out of nothing here we go hi hey marco we uh sorted things out uh that's great if you ever want to talk or need anything stop putting yourself in this position my guy you were not the one for her [Applause] [Music] injury injury injury blood blood nice shot [ __ ] oh guys can you please stop this you still want l and everybody here oh he's making a big scene he's a child handle this privately my man the sooner you can blood give me some blood no blood he can walk away his feet are planted he took a punch he just ate it he didn't even move he just went boom looked back that's powerful he doesn't even need to throw a punch he's winning he just walk away we love doing this nice good work break up say something i asked you not to let him back in our lives break up brother break it up bring it up bring it up yep i am so sorry i cannot believe that you just did that i know i've messed up a lot it doesn't change how i feel about you please just give me a chance and i'm sorry stop you're not even rich leave he's taller and richer you think you had a shot and i call the race car no hang on we have to roll to pick our pieces oh i help elbows i will choose the doggy oh no actually sorry i'm i'm always the scottie though i wanna blow up blow up blow up you're the piece sure i didn't really want to play anyway such a sore i don't get to play as the character i wanted to i don't want to play at all ah everyone's eight everyone is mentally eight years old did an eight-year-old write this i don't really care what you want oh what i'm sorry dad she killed our mom she can't just like walk into our lives after killing her mom linda you don't belong here i want this movie to end with nothing being resolved it's kind of about to end almost right now watching these people and their [ __ ] childish actions makes me wish the worst for them 1.5 speed i don't care she's not mom i even took a job that i hate earn more money to help you with school you stand there and you call me selfish no no no do you really think that you are the only person who needs love no idea how disappointed i don't know if it's the 1.5 speed did he he's not dropping the i'm so [ __ ] disappointed in my daughter holy [ __ ] that hits hard when it's from dad especially selfless dad holy [ __ ] you have no idea how disappointed in you i am right now right sometimes some people don't recover from that no one would come back i wonder where he was and then it hit me he's not at the hollywood side this is the site of their first bang why is he here it's been like a day and a half at least has he been here the whole time what has he been eating he's been foraging for like rabbits and stuff well you and i have been trying so hard oh you've moved across the country you've given up everything you wanted for me yeah but that's for me to decide i don't want to be one of the people who makes you put yourself last i know better than trying to stop you going to boston but if you do decide to go it's not going to be with me uh this is so much better at 1.5 speed too so they're broken up awesome good news guys [Music] the machine's gone i told you she was flaky oh forget it please don't do this now i have nothing more to say to you right now you seriously cannot be this upset it is just a game league the game what do you think i'm five i do think you're five well i think you're eight but still not much further i know you're upset but then i don't matter to you really guys like you are five all of you don't you can't talk you'll be like you're five you're five two shut up never had to worry about anything you've had everything handed to you your whole life she just threw the spoiled rich kid [ __ ] in his face awesome and now you accuse me of not caring about you awesome you know everything that i've done this summer everything for you and for everybody just probably proves that i care too much i feel like everyone is having this scene with another person like her dad just had the scene with her i hope she drops the you will not believe how disappointed i am in you right now oh and a new rule yeah all of our rules are done you're 18 years old you shouldn't be following childhood rules anyways give oh my god i'm sorry i love this for her well i love this for me for her her family is turned against her they brought her mother's murderer into the fold her boyfriend said don't come to college with me her best friend turned his back on oh you love to see it i think you are an absolutely brilliant woman what what about her what about her break it down for me no it's just me hey we have to prove any shoreline demolition they're tearing those down putting in condos and um noah and i are pretty much done too oh can i talk to you about something since you're not dating my son anymore and you're not friends with my other son uh you should leave what if the mom was a savage let's just put that energy into the air right now kick her out kick her out kicker maybe it's time you think about what it is that you want to do figure out what your dream grow uh your own personality well everything that's happened with illinois got me thinking about us and i've watched them trying to keep up their long-distance relationship haha i feel like i'm manifesting all these plot points everything is crumbling in the main girl's life and now she is voluntarily removing herself from this movie ever since i went to 1.5 speed everything has just gotten so much better so you're breaking up with me we were meant to be together we'll find our way back to each other oh i hate that [ __ ] she fumbled the bag he's [ __ ] rich for her own fault right here i love you i love you wait so you love each other but you're breaking up because it might not work out in the future that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard hey what are you doing here linda she's like can i come inside she's like no no no no sorry i've got something going on back there puts down the knife i would never dream of trying to replace your mother but i did care about her a lot and i have some stories that i'd love to share with you i even have her head in my freezer if you want to see her again [Music] there's still a whole goddamn half hour left oh so they dropped the alternate best friend as soon as i said that that guy is like vanilla on screen you just look at anything but him like he hasn't been in the film at all looking for someone what an emotionally mature response i'm not gonna give him too much credit because he continually repeats his own mistakes but for notes all right i'm going to new york i want to try to work as a musician there wait really really you're not very talented that's so weird but besides my family there was only one thing keeping me in lane that's all over now he's such a sim he was staying in california just to pursue a girl who already had a boyfriend a girl who has a right he rejected him man's a sin all right it's just an emotional scene let's slow it down so you got accepted to berkeley why are you showing me this now just i care about you both so much i'm so [ __ ] bored all right yep i haven't really gotten to spend much time figuring out what would make me happy what are you saying that i don't care about your happiness no no shut up for [ __ ] two seconds and stop jumping to the worst conclusion she's like i haven't been focusing on my own happiness enough and he's like i don't make you happy [ __ ] you just listen maybe [ __ ] 10 seconds i'm really sorry about what i said at the arcade so um you know where you want to go hi um you remember me you won the only dance competition i've ever judged she was the dance dance competition committee you know there are a lot of reasons oh and i broke up and wanted to make a decision she was going to regret plus she's toxic as [ __ ] you know but just because we're not dating anymore doesn't mean i'm gonna stop protecting her what find the usc she wants to do video game design you can't just apply like two weeks before college starts can you i don't know my college was a scam school so i knew noah was leaving the next day and the way that i felt about saying goodbye to noah actually the same way i felt about saying goodbye to the beach house oh please tell me this doesn't end with the beach house being saved i hope you don't mind how i address this but how i feel about you your warmth guidance and kindness have been some of the best parts of my life she's just trying to latch to the rich family she [ __ ] over her relationship with both the sons and now she's trying to latch onto the mom she's a schemer i'm not trusting him to say how thankful i am she's like please leave me in your will number 35 always call your bestie every time you miss them i love it thank you you are horribly codependent so mrs flynn i believe you'll find the paperwork for the sale of the properties in order we only need the slash signature to finalize the deal about the beach house getting saved is there a problem no problem at all i'm just not selling this house all of these old homes are being taken down just not this one no don't walk out with your chin held high people have worked countless hours to close this deal and at the very last second you just said [ __ ] you all now don't disrespect people like that i'm just mad because she's rich all right that's the true heart of it watching rich people keep their luxury homes isn't like a prideful moment for me not him not why did you bring him back he was 35 when you started shooting the first one it's been years this man is pushing in his 40s and you're going to tell me he's just graduating high school i'm not i'm not going to do it oh you know what's funny is i was going to make a you're so rich you could buy the machine joke before but i just never got around to it take care of our game while i'm away classically we were hoping that you might pitch any ideas you have for possible games or gaming products if she pitches a kissing booth for games nothing's coming to my mind i just i actually i i think we have everything we need they really put her on the spot though that didn't seem super fast i did have one idea you know how in fantasy sports people draft real world sports athletes success i think we're all aware of how fantasy football works uh i feel like you do need to explain it a little bit i don't think there's a big crossover between sports people and kissing with fans so i don't think your audience really understands fantasy sports what if we were to apply that to a large esports platform and you could even call it fantasy sports fantasy fantasy what's clever about that and how much is the esports industry raking 2 billion kind of just seems like that might be worth something oh and i also have this other idea it's [ __ ] that's horrible that sounds like something a fanfic writer would think that is a good idea i don't feel good right now i feel a little bit dead inside like now that all the roasting is done i think the roasting was like a defense mechanism from stopping the sadness that i feel watching this but i've expended all the roasts and now my defenses are down the sadness is pouring into me and i'm just feeling it [Music] all right [ __ ] it six years later let's see so lee and rachel did end up getting back together again why do they break up then why have a breakup scene if they're just gonna be back together the next time you see him i oh my god there it was and then i saw him hey shelly hi noah yeah i'm designing games i have a lot of creative freedoms creative freedom something that should have been exercised on this film could have had a psychopath mother-in-law character i even have my own motorcycle we should go for a ride together what if she was with marco and married and had a kid oh that would be so awesome big [ __ ] curveball at the end of the movie well i've gotta i gotta go see some friends of course but i'll um no no i'll call you okay sure yeah if you've got time oh that was very passive aggressive you know what i came into this being a little bit sad that the the film series was over just because of what it's meant to my channel but now after watching this third movie i couldn't be happier that i never have to experience this film again if at any point they reboot the kissing booth i will retire from youtube from forever like i'm i'm not coming back dylan the kissing booth force come on no no thank you to function of beauty for sponsoring go and take their air quiz figure out what kind of shampoo would work best for you thank you guys for watching until the next cringy film which will be like probably two weeks from now wait wait when is after three hold on september 30th oh that's too soon all right we have a month and a half now september 30th that's when after three comes out so yeah a month and a half to to recover from this get our defenses back up thank you guys for watching love you i don't have the energy for our toodles i'm just too sad this movie depressed the [ __ ] out of me see ya

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 1,911,927

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Id: HFE4gqhFi8Y

Length: 31min 5sec (1865 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 18 2021