KFC Dating Simulator

my daughter is in America relax okay the manhood is gone I tried to swim in laughs I wanted to be more like my clones here I wanted to blend in I stood out too much like a sore thumb plus I wanted to look oh so sexy for a kernel sad to hear because we're playing I love you Colonel Sanders a KFC dating simulator came out the other day and I've actually been kind of excited about it because it looks it looks sofa we're enough to be great so I'm gonna try it what is my name Big Daddy no look at that finger looking good those are not the only fingers I'm gonna be licking if you get my drift gamers I'm gonna fist Colonel Sanders you sleep softly as the Morning Sun casts a warm glow through the window of your modest student apartment the world is peaceful and serene you could stay in the moment forever the guy is yelling bring you pick up now now your first day Murray scores smack that clock top of morning up and Adam lying in bed you stare at the ceiling thinking about everything that awaits you at the prestigious University of cooking school Academy of learning your mind begins to wander who will be there what will you cook what would you wear time begins to fly by and you find your imagination getting away from you you're not yourself to daydream a bit thinking about the future thinking about Colonel Sanders naked and if his body is as good as his chicken it's here finally your first day of culinary school so many dishes to prepare so many students to meet so many teachers tell Oh yours Tom mind is swimming with possibilities when you realize you're running late you grab a biscuit and burst up at the door in a hurry no get biscuit nugget in a biscuit mmm delicious just what you needed to wake up those taste buds yikes you're in such a hurry in fact that you forgot to put any deodorant on you smell like a sack of pig [ __ ] you're sweating buckets as you rush to arrive on time uh-oh turns out you forgot pants as well some BTS in the background let's just straight up BTS I have got my own boy bands all right ha ha we're not caught BTS we call Jesse's sense for jacksepticeye egos standing in the quad you gaze upon the magnificent University of cooking school academy of nerdy here comes your lifelong best friend forever Miriam she's the most adorably awkward person you've ever met and you absolutely love her fur it's so damn relatable to gamers good morning daddy and may have made a mistake with the name are you excited for the first day of the rest of our lives actually I because I excited a little nervous I [ __ ] my pants a little bit earlier today but I'll never tell cuz you smell worse than I do with no deodorant okay a lot nervous what's that it's just that this morning I made breakfast for myself but when I ate it I couldn't taste any love into food well if I no good what if Gordon Ramsay puts a sandwich on me it cost me a donkey classic Miriam raised by MasterChef parents she's older always held herself to a very high standard she's over here cooking Duke coffee with broccoli rabe and I'm over here at cooking grilled cheese I eat a biscuit for breakfast [ __ ] you're over here tummy that oh my foods not good enough ever since we were little babies playing together and you rescued rescued me from that quicksand box it's been clear to me that you're the most loving caring person I know you're gonna do great Miriam Academy of learnings famous three-day only semesters and jacksepticeye's how to begin your life through company world you're being left behind and never catching up well get faster a sweet girl Miriam has always had a flair for the dramatic this summer she got so nerd this summer she got so nervous about her first kiss there she chipped a tooth practicing on a mannequin coming soon pep talk your best friend changes the subject of a pep talk I'm great at pep talks hey stop collaborate now listen remember last month when we saw that fortune teller and had our Tarot tarot cards read the lady with the mask who gave me nightmares we've been trained to forget I know she looks spooky but she was so sweet and she told you that you were destined for great things remember that cared with the fancy-looking tower it was leading people called it Pisa and another card featuring the handsome fellow in the red suit Deadpool I was like Ryan Reynolds sexiest man alive I've been waiting for so long to meet a handsome fellow I could call my own well see there's the problem is that you're calling him your own I [ __ ] up my headphones here we go fix it and I am sure you will soon in no time we'll be graduating and you'll be delighting the world with your heartfelt cooking and no time at all musics great as you talk Miriam up you can feel her nerves begin to ease this pose does not say nerves eased these killer bangs you look like Ballmer do you believe I could to myself yes yes I can it looks like somebody drove over your face with a lawn or you can definitely believe it oh yeah I cannot believe it they look so good Miriam you know hey shut up this this head can only tell the truth this head lies and this is a happy middle okay don't listen to his name cuz it'll hurt your feelings before you can get another word out your rudely interrupted when someone smacks your books and custom engraved measuring spoons out of your hands and onto the ground hey it's Ashley or Ashley your archrival oh no she's got a sagol tooth do you think she's able to make get a can of something in his book and that's how she maybe she like Pierce's the bottom of it and shotguns it what about us but you can't help but feel be filled with jealousy she can get anything she wants she knows it damn Ashley thick though she got chicken thighs on her thighs hello Ashley oh I didn't see their chicken shins guys I'd be roasted alive by being deep fried like Colonel Sanders Kentucky Fried flavored finger that can check it you need Big Daddy shins Allah they are perfectly normal shits great shins they couldn't they could stop a train you can't stand Ashley even her name is annoying you know for a fact that it's actually Ashley but she had to add extra letters to make herself feel better than everyone she gave me a little black it's okay Miriam Miriam get your knives out get your culinary equipment out it's stab a [ __ ] if anyone here knows what perfection looks like it's us we're not gonna let you or your really bury everything weird insults get to us take you and your voluptuous chest out of here across the quad oh no not my quads you see Ashley's best friend van van the man man verily their name Big Daddy has stopped to look at his own reflection in the mirror his pants are so tight you can see him casually working out his glutes well he Styles his hair no lie there rockin glutes I mean if you've got it flaunt it baby oh baby oh he looks like a booty pooty prisoner from one punch man you rank right you've never been sure what their arrangement is but as long as you've known them Ashley in Van Van have been just as close as you and Miriam but substantially more devious books are not up in this school can't believe that University of cookie school Academy of learning with the jacksepticeye how to begin here life's real comedy world tour do you have 90 minutes whatever allow people like you to attend uh students I know right you'd think they just had us our diplomas now that's a good one or maybe hire us as Pyrus honest professors you're amateurs could learn a lot from us with the day of school about to start there's just no there's just not time to properly tell these two off see resister urge did you look like [ __ ] idiots never mind let's go Miriam see you later losers who's sassy lost child is this as you approach the door you see stop you see a goofy-looking kid pushing Herod against the window directly next to it I already think it's broken it reach forward and easily pull the door open I that should do the trick classic pulling honey should have pushed it says another door you [ __ ] idiot I love you okay I think you mean oh I think you mean thank you my name is Bob I was named after my pop-pop he's old my family's mad could someone like this also be a student at the school he must be one heck of a chef also his name Tech clearly says blip blop but I guess he's reading it upside down his name tag says Bob but he's reading it upside down his pop hi pop I'm Big Daddy so you gonna make me hold this door all day now and with that the young man walks into the building ahead of him is it just me or is he kind of cute just you must be you're terribly cut bangs actually said that do you think he's cute no I think he looks like you strike through thornbush backwards dude that's really mean stopping I told you only tells the truth the [ __ ] you both shrug your shoulders before following him into the building you said who's this that is not the colonel why don't we get to meet the colonel why did I get the sex the colonel you stand at the edge of the room on shore to sit other students wander in and keep themselves busy chit-chatting it's my teacher a dog as my teacher into that delightful little Corgi a scruffy looking pooch takes his place at the podium at the front of the class adorable now now quiet down everyone who is this unreasonably cute pup and raising our culinary class you must be sprinkles head instructor CEO of us UCS al oh please call me professor dog I may be cute a widow of coffee but I still do now respect woof what a cute dog is our professor this is the best school ever no I guess only a dog's nose is capable of picking up all the nuances of fine dining yeah but a sense of taste is [ __ ] he literally eats his own [ __ ] I've seen a corgi eat its own [ __ ] before out of nowhere wind begins to rush around you as a swirl of cherry blossom petals fill the air inside the classroom and then he walks in flake my nips and call me chicken I saw sexy goddamn you're immediately swept up in the aura of this new student and his remarkable goatee who knew anyone could be so handsome time stands still Wow it's him it's if it isn't my favorite student Harland Harland Carl Sanders interrupts sprinkles sorry professor dog before he can finish his sentence please call me Colonel Colonel Sanders now hushed burbles through the classroom nipples are hard but cheeks are clapped as Colonel Sanders walks down the aisle of desks suddenly the room is sweltering I'm so wet sweat begins to beat across your brow you feel like everyone is looking at you and you're not entirely wrong and this over here must be sweaty sweats a lot ha ha up top ha maybe we should open that window back up before Fawcett pants melts into a puddle and evaporates entirely oh you suck nobody tries to my friend like that you both know my name we were in the same kindergarten class and what is with all your weirdly really weird insults I keep saying it wrong I can't speak besides when Big Daddy sweats it's not gross it's beautiful look at that shiver it's going I go pregnant lady you trying to fight Colonel Sanders standing right in front of you Oh God Oh God I can't take it anymore Colonel Sanders a beautiful angel that he is stands before you smiling gently his hand outstretched as I said is this where my fairy tale begins boy howdy this classroom gets hotter than a Kentucky fryer please use my handkerchief I found it when I was rescuing puppies from a burning building [Music] God sorry you freeze up Colonel Sanders is talking to you and you wait Colonel Sanders is talking to you about how sweaty you look no you're completely mortified love it this can't be your first interaction what if he never forgets this moment take the handkerchief I shall take the handkerchief from the godly man himself you're looking here standing all the way back there I can feel your moisture from here you stretch out your hand in Colonel Sanders places a fine silk handkerchief in it it's so beautiful you hesitate to press it to your face but when you do the feeling is transcendent it has his natural scent on it it smells of the most delicious chicken you've ever smelled they say everything tastes like chicken you want to put that to the test Kearney professor Dawg steps in to sell the class down and some ground rules well plug the university a cooking school academy of learning the greatest curry academy and ruled the birthplace of culinary religions past present future many challenges await you there will be tears there will be bird that might even be really adorable tiny food I'm a dog all I got is little pause and when all is said and done there will be battle you will lift your sparks and compete in the boom hockey arena just in another student enters the classroom and interrupts the professor's rousing speech hi guys sorry I'm late I hope everyone had a good summer I really miss I hate late to class is bad enough but interrupting my monologue you're on the fast track gotta hear your man are you sure you even in the white place don't you recognize me this is my third year in the school with you as my teacher everyone stares at him blankly I think there's no one remember me all right you're expelled if you uh if I finish god he's so adorable and tiny look at his tiny little paws he's angry but on the inside you know he's not he just went pets pet the dog let that be a lesson to you students and trainees is unacceptable or him hearing crank made it here on time rolling halfway across town his tiny wheels you turn to see the students sprinkles is referencing who appears to be some sort of industrial kitchen appliance are you a cooker the class burst into laughter laughs damn it God you guys are terrible hypeman oak thank you rascal oh I wanna pet him I want to take his tiny little paws and make him dance sprinkles walks at the classroom as everyone stands and son obedience when he gets to you the ellipses nose into the air and takes a deep sniff you smell like [ __ ] your dad is lacking based on what I'm picking up here you definitely need a multivitamin you should be taking pow kill yourself you've never had a talking dog as a teacher before but the sprinkles is reputation for being smeared but tough is well known done it's breathing breathing directly on my microphone I realize how much my breath smells you decide to try and butter them up by giving him a treat from your pocket but what kind oh God beef treat rubber ball or chicken there's a squirrel at the window behind me I don't know if you can see it see that moving thing right there that's a squirrel [ __ ] I'm going to go with chicken snack because that's exactly what Harlan Colonel Sanders is he's a chicken snack you reach beneath your apron and return with a chicken snack in your hand sprinkles his eyes go wide as he locks onto it his favorite well well I think there might be some competition for a student and the furry professor yeah don't say that it's gonna make me if immediately devours the snack I won't have devoured a snack if you know what I'm saying leaving your hands slick with a coating of warm doggy ectoplasm you see the other students I knew jealously but you pay no mind to them I don't even give a care I'm not even gonna pay you any mind if they wanted to succeed in life they should have learned the importance of bribery sat down young chefs take your seats and prepare to have your minds open to the amazing possibilities of culinary clinical as everyone rushes to claim their favorite seats you're not standing at the front of the room only two options remain hey Big Daddy there's still a seat here are you saying that I'm gonna go have to go at either DIY bangs or Karl's snack over here I think I know which one I'm picking it seems that no one has claimed to seat next to me if you're interested Oh Miriam I'm not even sorry I'm not even gonna apologize for this everyone knows that this is the correct choice hands in the air who picks married now class look around those are the amount of people who are wrong you move to take your seat like Colonel Sanders you slip into the seat easily because you're wet already it appears he brought notebooks pens or pencils but it's okay because he can get by in life at his devilishly good looks however his perfect upright posture shows off a seriousness that makes you confident in his desire to learn thanks for offering me this seat oh that's me sorry I was impersonating him because I want to be like him I've only had two rules do all you can and do it the best you can it's the only way you ever get that feeling of accomplish something Colonel Sanders is a snake for me because he's the one who says Colonel can you hear me wow it's so inspiring you're so dreamy and inspiring and sexy a little off topic if you ask me but okay as soon as you settle into your seat the professor makes an announcement think fast is time for pop quiz yay acquits about me your name's Bob you [ __ ] [ __ ] it's incredibly important a surprisingly short quiz will tell me if you're ready for like a culinary school give you a nice job on your focused shopper here comes question number one if train a is traveling to point B 20 B is traveling to point a how important is it to wash your hands before cookie please sir I need never joke like this I used to say if train a leaves at 3:45 and arrives at station at 4:15 how much does an elephant way I love that joke extremely looking at you pop that's right five sister tree yes chicken is to snack stairs over at Colonel Sanders willingly Colonel Sanders stairs back but you're to blushful to you've made up a new word that's how much full you are chicken is to forest is the tree is chicken is to feather I wanted to say a slam dunk that's right I totally get this I went to I went to a hotel leisure hotel management and leisure hotel and Leisure Management the [ __ ] that I study in school hotel and Leisure Management I know this I've been through this I've been through the wringer I had my own Colonel Sanders / having your own Colonel Sanders it's like having your own white whale what is the most efficient eating utensil ever created a spork because you said it already that's right my food is best for a broken heart all the food a pancake that looks like a silly face camel meat anything as long as it's prepared with love I'm not too much salt that's right wait I'm moving my microwave what do you have to say for yourself and you'll bleed for three to five days from your vagina you can't say that Jesus is sprinkles a good boy yes he's the best boy he's a talking dog that teaches the culinary school he is the best boy of course there's no bad boys they're all good boys that's right perfect score five out of five give me a high five Jack Wow be honest did you cheat I don't need to cheat I've got big brain see you looked up to see that Colonel Sanders has been watching you tell your score he's impressed I know we just met but I have to confess I think you have a beautiful brain wow you think about small brain big brain stinky brain but no one talks about beautiful brain thank you is a beautiful shade of pink the hot diggity Big Daddy is the best sentence you just scored some major Kearney sandy points what with that performance may I have your attention students I have an important announcement to make pay for lights Wow the cafeteria is as nice as any restaurant you've ever eaten it it makes sense that a school dedicated to cooking would also be serious about England this is where your journey begins this is where life starts and this is for your fairy tale that must be our lunch it smells crazy good everyone can I have your attention [Music] no I just wanted to apologize for my tardiness you see I was howdy folks I'd like to make an announcement hey I was it's about lunch everyone Cheers lights lights lights she said shush you stained weirdo you tiny little garbage person in honor of the new semester I've prepared something special to share with everyone at eat for lunch Jesus Maria calm down indeed that smell you hold your breath waiting to see what food this mysterious student has created you've heard that he's very talented but worth the rumors true is this Colonel Sanders missed a large bucket above his head its contents glimmer and delight piled higher huge pieces of chicken breaded and fried to a crisp eCollege Vantage they didn't know that a village and even got a feel my save Colonel Sanders has filled up bucket with chicken Sugoi want a novel concept your stomach begins to crumble earlier as if to say stop thinking and start eating for years I have been developing a secret recipe for the perfect fried chicken but by my calculation nothing less than 11 herbs and spices are required to achieve the perfect balance of flavors you look around and notice that every other student as a pen and paper and is scribbling notes as fast as they can while all you do is draw a picture of him in the NIP but that's all I'll say about that what you think that we want your stupid secret recipe dude I'm just drafting a last will and testament in case' one of those ingredients is a poison get him he looks around nervously to see if anyone is laughing at his sick bird you wait to see what zinger Ashley has prepared to follow up but she suddenly takes a different approach yeah and I was just like writing in my diary dear diary today I smell something beautiful I knew at that moment they don't need the hands of a true gentleman could fry a chicken so tender also between my legs I feel something that I've never felt before dear diary jackpot Oh God you see her body language changed from bitter and evil to sweet and innocent as she slides closer to Colonel Sanders she realizes that he is destined for greatness and fame with cooking skills like this she wants him all to herself she knows finger-lickin chicken fingers please well van van the man man if you don't want any I'll take his hold on I mean I guess I'll try it he takes one bite and his eyes grew wide he starts come tour ting his face as he tries to hold in his pure acceleration and act unimpressed easy now there's enough for everyone pull it please my fellow classmates dig in you take one of the pieces of fried chicken out of his bucket and sink your teeth into it you imagine you're sinking your teeth into the kernel himself for he is the greatest chicken snack of all it's tasting Colonel Sanders food transports you to another dimension along with your taste buds gripping a drumstick in your hand you float weightlessly focused in your mind and meditated in this moment try and identify every flavor savor the moment and everything that it tells you about Colonel Sanders is culinary her I wanted to think about the colonel I want to think about it so bad the flavors in your mouth are beautiful pure and heavenly what a guy he saw many things I wish I was here I either want to be him or want to be alone with the flavors you feel something that can only be described as love love feels a lot like your tents your pants tightening not your tan spite me for a man for a flavor I think same is this what they're talking about when they say someone is a snack after tasting his food you tried to get some one-on-one time with Colonel Sanders you approached him Colonel Sanders smiles ever so softly as you approach he stops what he is doing and allows you to break the silence if you want to talk for a second anything for a fellow chef how bold to come out and ask it's an idea I've had for a new combination of flavors that will make me my fortune and establish my legacy for all time as I open a chain of Highly successful fried chicken restaurants no big deal it's just you and me you're talking I can keep a secret in fact I've got some of my own that I'd be willing to a trade what's the rush the semester is only getting started we've got two more whole days to get to know each other he's clearly not going to give up easily but it doesn't hurt to be resistant you know what they say about secrets colonel we have them shouldn't learning be fun you've got moxie I'll give you that Colonel Sanders looks both ways to cross the street to make sure you're truly alone then he leans in you can feel his more breath as he whispers just one ingredient but you can't tell I use really Wow you'd never have guessed that in fact you're not even sure where you'd get some if you searched where would I get baby seals tears and not just baby sea lions the kiss from Moreau seal how will I get his tears that's just one part well your wrapped up in that huge revelation you notice that Colonel Sanders has disappeared like poof he went up in a cloud of chicken crumbs while everyone else is still in the cafeteria you decide to look for him I'm gonna I need a shower after playing this game man it's way too hot girls that are so sexy oh my god you better hit that like button if you were into Colonel Sanders as much as I am and don't tell anyone but the secret ingredient was [Music]

Channel: jacksepticeye

Views: 1,620,002

Rating: 4.9516468 out of 5

Keywords: jacksepticeye, KFC Dating Simulator, colonel sanders dating simulator, game, gameplay, I Love You Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator, funny, I Love You Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator jacksepticeye, dating colonel sanders, dating game, dating sim, colonel sanders

Id: wDheRVwKYEk

Length: 34min 52sec (2092 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 27 2019