Key & Peele - Sex Detective - Uncensored

[indistinct chatter over police radio] [camera shutter clicks] - IT'S A WEIRD ONE-- NOTHING OUT OF PLACE, NO MURDER WEAPON. - AND NO MOTIVE. THERE'S JUST A COUPLE LYING DEAD IN THEIR BED. - THE PROOF IS ALWAYS OUT THERE, DETECTIVES. YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE PUDDING. - EXCUSE ME, SIR, YOU CAN'T BE HERE--THIS IS A CRIME SCENE. - SAMWELL, IT'S OKAY. HE'S THE GREATEST SEX-CRIME INVESTIGATOR IN HISTORY. IF IT ISN'T DETECTIVE CHUCK VAUGHAN. - DETECTIVE SALLY FERGUSON. - WE COULD USE A GENIUS RIGHT NOW. - TOM SAMWELL. - WHAT HAVE WE GOT, SAMWELL? - WELL, VAUGHAN, WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A HARD CASE HERE. ALL WE'VE GOT IS-- - TWO BODIES, BOTH DEAD, NAKED-- ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN IN THE BED, TWO SCENTED CANDLES BY THE NIGHTSTAND. - HOW DID YOU-- - SHH. - NO SIGN OF FORCED ENTRY. HE LOVED THE WAY THEY SMELLED. [sniffing] HE WANTED TO CROSS THE THRESHOLD THE WAY THEY HAD ON THEIR WEDDING DAY. [sighs] YOU DIRTY DOG. [chuckles] HE WOULD'VE EXPERIENCED THAT PLEASURE RIGHT HERE. [pants unzip] [groaning loudly] ANNIVERSARY--THE COUPLE WAS TOGETHER FOR A WHILE, WANTED TO SPICE THINGS UP. CHECK THE DATE ON THE PHOTOGRAPH. - VAUGHAN'S RIGHT. TODAY WAS THEIR 15TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. THIS IS HUGE. - AND WHAT THE [bleep] WAS THAT? YOU JUST PULLED YOUR DICK OUT AND STARTED JERKING OFF AT THE CRIME SCENE. - SAMWELL, HE'S THE BEST THERE IS. BY PUTTING HIMSELF IN THE PERPETRATOR'S MIND-SET, HE'S ABLE TO SOLVE CRIMES THAT INVOLVE SEX. BAG THIS UP. - SOME CALL IT A BLESSING. IT'S MORE LIKE A CURSE. - IS THAT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE? - [sniffing] THREESOME. [sighs] YOU WANTED TO SEE THEM, DIDN'T YOU? YOU WANTED TO WATCH. 25 FEET FROM THE BEDROOM, ACROSS THE KITCHEN, YOU... [huffing] YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SEE THEIR FLESH YET, DID YOU? NO. HE STOOD RIGHT HERE. [pants unzip] [groaning loudly] ROLE PLAY GONE WRONG. CHECK THE LOGS. - WE'VE GOT A BLOODY FIRE POKER. WE'VE GOT OUR MURDER WEAPON. - UM, WHY DO YOUR REVELATIONS REQUIRE MASTURBATION? - WHY DO KITTENS REQUIRE MILK? - NOPE, NOT THE SAME THING. - HEY. HEY, HE'S THE MOST BRILLIANT GODDAMN DETECTIVE I KNOW. PUT YOUR EGO ASIDE AND GIVE VAUGHAN HIS SPACE. - MY EGO? WE GOT CAPTAIN PUDPULLER FLINGING HIS FLUIDS ALL OVER THE CRIME SCENE. - WAIT. HE KNEW THEM. HE-- THEY WERE CLOSE, SO CLOSE, TOO CLOSE. HE--HE... I THINK HE KNEW THE HOUSE. WHY? WHAT DID YOU WANT, YOU SICK BASTARD? YOU WANTED TO SEE... WHAT HE SAW EVERY DAY... ONLY CLOSER... CLOSER. HE WAS CLOSE TO HOME. [groaning loudly] THERE'S OUR MAN. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO GET HIM. GO, GO! - HOW DID YOU-- VAUGHAN, THAT WAS AMAZING. I'M SORRY THAT I DOUBTED YOU. YOUR METHODS ARE UNORTHODOX, BUT... I CANNOT ARGUE WITH YOUR RESULTS. [zipper closes] - NO HARD FEELINGS? - UH, NO, NOPE, NOT GONNA DO THAT.

Channel: Comedy Central

Views: 17,310,431

Keywords: comedy central, key and peele, key and peele show, key & peele, Key & Peele sketches, funny, jordan peele, keegan michael key, funny video, comedy videos, funny jokes, funny clips, Paget Brewster, police parody, cop show parody, sex crime investigator, masturbating cop, Captain Pudpuller, Get Out, Chuck Vaughn, anniversary murder sketch, sex detective, investigation, murder investigation, sex crime, unusual, how to solve a murder, murderer, criminal, crime, crime scene

Id: YJAGNad7FLI

Length: 4min 34sec (274 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 22 2018