Keith Eats Cheesecake Factory For A Month - The TryPod Ep. 68

ramble shout out to endocino and caliper cbd for sponsoring today's episode keith why don't you introduce this one unless has anyone not introduced in a while was it ned is that you have you not interested in a while you feeling wow miles are we really doing this again i just want to make sure that everyone has an opportunity yeah miles i obviously haven't introduced in a while i'm sorry no ned i wanna hear it no i want it to be your idea i don't want it to become an obligation to rotate go ahead keith go ahead go ahead take it ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tripod america's first and only tripod it's true well actually no it's the well the second tripod is you can sit with us technically it is a tripod production so now we have to introduce ourselves as the first the first tripod the original tripod the original tripod they stole our thunder you can sit with us you can't sit with us you can't there's no room even though eugene isn't here there's no room for you somehow maybe we should make room for one other person at some point yeah i think we could bring in some guests yeah you know what hey everybody listening you probably haven't turned the tripod off yet tell us tell us who you want to hear join us it's all video chat so anyone's game everyone can sit with us but you who are some dream you guys don't you guys tell me some dream guests and i can work on getting them i'll pull every string in the book together clooney you want george clooney yeah yeah i feel like he's got a lot of sage wisdom he's just got such a soothing voice oh you know what now i'm just thinking of people with the sexiest voices okay but i've committed to clooney that's my answer one uh i'll go idris elba i wanna know about all the uh james bond t and also talk about sexy voices i'm writing him down i'm going to just sir sir ian mcallen would be fine that would be good he'd be fun ian mccunning all right i guess you know i'll start by just sort of reaching out to their instagram and just kind of you know yeah miles see if you can slide into their dms okay i'm going to slide into sirian mckellen's dms and ask if he wants to be on the podcast do you guys think his email is siri and mcellen gmail.com probably totally this is a that's worth a shot a real thing with like shocking levels of celebrity have still the most basic email addresses i've had to add a little bit of pizzazz to my email to give myself some protection oh well ned's just totally ignoring me saying that your son is more interesting than me but what he's doing is really every single day ned i'm sorry when you yeah should we fix the gate um now wesley as you know kanye west has announced a bid for president you're curious on your thoughts uh what do you think is he just a distraction or does he have some real points you think you should be president [Music] wesley what's what's your uh what's something you like to do poppy doing poppy do poppy in june poppy and june is what he just said rachel's uh twins yeah i don't you know they're not gonna be on this video call this is this is see keith do you see keith i'm a giant baby and i am happy and or june can you say hi keith and there's zach and there's miles you ever notice how babies wave like this they don't wave their hands back and forth they clap their hands forward it's a one-hand clap i never understood that i'll let you i'll let you listen to your own voice yeah so actually an exciting update uh kanye announced that he was no longer running oh what it does thank goodness yeah yikes you're like hearing yourself but i had already donated two thousand dollars to this campaign no i didn't not not at all it's wildly distracting all right i think everybody thanks everybody to the next segment now thanks wes you've been a crazy great guest can you say thank you join us next week when javier bardem sits on ned's lap yeah yeah yeah every guest will come on they all have to sit on ned's lap and you can sit on us and that's the new bike you can do more okay well i we can do we can do a little bit more but to the advice segment shocking you're turning a podcast into a game and immediately take it away and he's upset who saw that coming that's right you want to use the headphones yeah it's better to hear yourself can you tell everyone about the um can you tell everyone about the helicopter the helicopter i gotta advise all the listeners to check out the youtube version of this get everything because wes just gets the greatest smile when he hears his voice also a baby in giant headphones who knew that that's what i needed in my life right i feel like they're gonna play this uh footage in the documentary about wes when he's inevitably the biggest entertainer in the world when wes yeah shock jock runs for president yeah after oh and he cut oh god all right wes just cut the sound feed back sort of that's july 15th i'm getting a real taste of the chaotic energy yes i love it ariel oh god it wasn't we have enough of this bit i think hey what's our over under once we hit four minutes wesley what's your name rasheed [Music] very good that's clean we got it thank you wesley thank you leslie for coming on the show uh next week george clooney ian mckellen and idris elba yeah we'll be sitting on ned and telling us about uh their junes what what's their favorite color i actually do and that is gone i think genuinely think that you can sit on us or you can sit on me is like a great adult swim late night talk show it's just a talk show where you guys have to sit on your lap during the interview yes wow i feel like that's built for me and also each week i should be like in a different designer chair yeah like it's the same like idea as the chair prank except we are folding me into a real different chair every week and they said you are inside the chair every day yeah but you can see me my head sticks out yeah and we do the interview that way it did just skyrocket yeah skyrocketed good idea it has to be a different elaborate chair every week huh yeah yeah but it's an opportunity for sponsorships for designers to show off their work and you're inventing you're interviewing like political leaders and stuff right too yes mostly mostly dictators we could actually we could have a companion reality show called the final chair and it's 12 chairmakers come in and each week we whittle down as they try and make the chair for this week's episode until only one chair stands we have to do without instructions build a chair i mean oh yeah that's just the people need that video you know i have uh some hairpin legs those are like the really sexy thin ones i have hairpin legs uh in my garage still that buzzfeed bought me uh for a video that i never made and uh they're just here wow so so i've got them if i ever want to make a table company property no i would say that i bought it for a video that got cancelled and i'm holding on to it for them right just in case they need it just in case i mean it's metal right yeah it's still good so you can sell it it's just people buy metal the four of our laptops were originally buzzfeed computers and i would love to say that we stole them but then they made us buy them in cash though they made us buy them in cash why would they do that why did they wait you had to buy it in cash it was like you have to show up with like one thousand four hundred and ten dollars to get your twenty one hundred dollar computer pretty good deal it was a great deal because the second they gave us i mean they had given us new computers like pretty recently maybe like a few months before we left and the second we get them they are now valued at half price yeah so we got our laptop like it actually really helped jump start our company oh yeah we were like oh we need four laptops and i i did the the spreadsheet for our equipment that was that was my job and when i was pricing out computers like i was like [ __ ] this is really expensive but then yeah buzzfeed threw us one last bone but you had to pay for that bone and sweet kishola yeah you show up with an envelope of cash and hand it to the it team speaking of equipment i've been wanting us to get a drone for a while but we really don't need one i believe nobody needs a drone it's kind of the definition of drones no one is like you know what i really need i think we need a drone for eat the menu we shoot it on yeah get a big opening shot and oh we could have when i go through the drive-through it can be above us so you get that sick a top-down shot of me going through the drive-through and getting like many bags you're waiting in line for like a while and it's just kind of charting how far away you are have you got i i want to continue to entertain that idea miles and think of more videos but have you guys seen drone racing because it is the most positively thrilling yes i want to do this is a try video that i feel like we can do we can do it without instructions i don't care i just want to do it because the way you do it is that you sit and you're looking at a screen and it is the closest thing to fighter pilot flying that you'll have yeah you can do vr headsets for i've only seen it as vr which seems so like oh my god yeah but you fly your drone in a race and normally it's like an empty arena that they've set a course through so you're like flying and racing other flames yeah it's like looks like the greatest time the drones get taken out like oh yeah you just bump another person and it's like they fall uh-huh or or you run into a thing and they break and like ah it must be so thrilling especially in a vr headset someone rips off their vr headset and goes but what of our of our content what could be enriched by drone footage right candy competition clearly there's some sort of espionage angle there that's the most that's the most obvious yeah plug and play right i would just want us to do another uh like survival video and then emphasize how isolated we are by a massive drone shot oh yeah we are in the middle of nowhere in this desert what if eugene ranked mountains and we have the drone fly to get footage of all the mountains so keith you're going camping right are you going to a mountain well the sad news must come forward uh yeah so new mexico last week and probably a correct decision by the state decided they were going to close down the state so they are backing off of their reopening even though their cases aren't like ours their cases are at like 300 new cases a day which is not nothing but wait so you just you can't drive in yeah so they changed it so that well you can drive in there's no one there's no like there's no it's not like they put a wall up around new mexico we're not there yet new mexico uh they just dial back their reopening saying uh specifically for out-of-state people that anybody coming into the state whether you are a resident returning or a new person coming in you have to quarantine and self-isolate somewhere for 14 days and you can't go out to get food you're supposed to stay in that room for 14 days and you're not allowed to access any of the state parks yeah the state parks are also closed out of state people so they're gonna be checking your id and they said well they aren't gonna like police aren't gonna like pull you over for having out of state plates they did say we encourage all our citizens if you see somebody doing something wrong or somebody here who shouldn't be here you should call authorities and let them know that's a slippery slop right there it sure is uh it sure is weird but uh so we were gonna go you know we're gonna jump between a few airbnbs staying like three or four days each time and doing a lot of hikes that was the whole point of the trip and also we were going to have to drive through arizona which arizona is also a very very uh dangerous place right now and so is southern california so for their perspective they probably don't want me coming right i'm coming from a a place with a lot of cases i'm driving through another place with a lot of cases now i was just gonna hike you know i wasn't planning i'm not going to a festival i'm not going to a public pool uh but i was just gonna do that and i was gonna hang out with my brother and sister-in-law but that is not gonna happen the trip has been canceled the trip is over fun is cancelled canada is forcing was it like 750 thousand dollar fines for people that break their quarantine on entering canada wow that's how you do it [ __ ] i don't know man we got it that's how they pay for that health care yeah it's like that's that's how they enforce the unenforceable is to make the fines so big who says taking care of yourself needs to be hard i don't uh uh you know why caliper cbd what's great about cbd is that it helps you feel better without making drastic changes to your routine cbd you guys have heard me talk i love it it has made a world of difference in allowing me to have peaceful restful sleeps helps with my 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don't love it they'll give you a full refund that's tricaliper.com try guys don't forget promo code try guys for 20 off your first order get cbd in my dudes [Music] i didn't fully realize that the level of cases currently in southern california are so much so astronomically higher than when we originally went into shutdown it's like not even close it is so so much worse right now granted testing is bigger and it's it's affecting a lot more young people but it is i mean when you drive around the city right now it is like we are back to normal baby no one is everyone is acting as if like well now i know how to live with the virus it is i i have a feeling that within days we are going back into shutdown uh well didn't we didn't we already if you work at a restaurant then y'all we went back a phase we're in orange but we're teetering on red and red is when like everything everything's shut down yeah right now you don't even want to know about burnt sienna yikes this is actually maybe something i could use some help on so when this began many months back i was like wow the next few months are [ __ ] but at least come end of july my birthday will be safe and it'll be a triumphant return to form for all of us nope everyone's birthday and so i'm uh what i'm 11 days away uh and i don't know what the [ __ ] i can do i i tweeted out asking for advice and people were like do a zoom party which i'm like that's every day in my [ __ ] life yeah [ __ ] off [ __ ] off with you supermarket what is it april i think it's april and i can do like oh that's fine enough i will say zooms exhaust me entirely and completely i like i've tried to do some family zooms and there's something where like once you have more than four people even that though it just i don't i i i don't enjoy it you just reminded me to hide myself view yes that does a lot i just hid my self-view immediately i feel ten times better i definitely spend most of the zoom looking at me i love looking at myself you know making sure i look cool making sure everybody who's watching the youtube views like yeah he's looking good he definitely showered this morning a wink wink wink my selfie i'm getting like the half face where i look very uh edward cullen i'm i'm just so gloriously pale it is unbelievable my skin is sparkling in the light hey speaking of edward cullen there's a new twilight book coming out soon are you guys are you guys twilight fans ding dong i didn't read the book but i saw the movies they're they're they're they're delightfully trashy the i watched the movies i did not enjoy them but i but like you're not supposed to enjoy them keith yeah you're supposed to sort of enjoy them and then appreciate like the parts that you're clearly not supposed to enjoy i i i approached it the way that i watched like 50 shades movies which was to like get like very drunk and or high and go sit in the theater and laugh and laugh yeah but some of them i just got mad that last movie when there's supposed to be a war and then she sees the war in her mind and then calls it off i'm like no you gotta kill some characters baby you gotta kill people gotta die in a movie like that but this show they showed it all happened yeah but it was kinda cool i thought it was a fun like gotcha yeah one of the characters can see the future so they shoot it as if the war starts and everyone's just dying but then they realize like she just saw that all in the future and it's like maybe we shouldn't fight guys whoa wait what if what if i don't i know that the new trial back is just like a retelling of the first but what if the next highlight book just became final destination and all of them were gonna die because she had the premonition and then they didn't do the war and then they die in the order of the war but only by werewolves vampires and you know uh werewolf hunters and like stuff like that i feel like though for twilight it would be final destination but instead of dying it would be sultry stares and kisses yeah they all get kissed now just kissed in a certain way trying not to get kissed and then like a rube goldberg device happens now does twilight pass the falmer test not too thinky enough action oh yeah absolutely it's on the low end you know it's on the low end but yeah man oh totally big splashy movie you know what it's like it's it's a movie you know it's like you see it and you're like bam movie you're not like bam essay yeah there's good guys there's bad guys yeah there's love oh yeah passes the fulmer test you know you're not you don't have to have too many complex emotional moments or like nuanced you know it's like well she's good but she's also bad and it reminds me of my childhood but also my adulthood and um social issues you know it's like you just got good you got evil you got vampires you got werewolves there's the good vampires the bad vampires the good werewolves the bad werewolves is twilight your cats i mean they made four of them so come back and talk to me when it's as successful i guess cats has a very successful longest running musical of all time oh yeah for sure although ariel has always tried to get me to read the books and i've resisted it i'm gonna need you to read this newest book and give us chapter by chapter reports uh until eugene returns from korea that sounds like a good way to spend my time honestly i like that do you guys realize it's july yeah again my birthday's coming up and you gave me zero ideas you just started talking about twilight tell me what to do you could throw a twilight party let's all put on hazmat suits like full hazmat suits and get 30 of us together to have the weirdest looking dance party of all time it could be like one of those silent dance parties yeah silent disco so i was actually considering this but i didn't know how to be safe and hazmat2 would be the answer we have our new office that is just empty we're waiting to do construction in it and it is at the moment just a giant open room a warehouse party baby it's a warehouse party but there's not really a way for us to all be there safely together i mean we could be there we've been uh something of a quarantined bubble um which maybe that's interesting to talk about like i can have you guys there but i [ __ ] no offense i always have you guys there honestly i know what it's like we're recording over zoom because uh we don't want to drive to the office just to record an hour-long podcast and then go home yeah but yeah we've been kind of creating a quarantine bubble within ourselves and starting to do some shoots together again which is very exciting we have something yeah so once the rio protocol is in place there were some protocols recommended for shooting we've uh been doing that and also been like extra safe with it everybody's always got masks unless they're on camera we try not to put us on camera with other people just one another um and you know we've been going about it as safely as possible plus we're all regularly getting tested every one or two weeks just to make sure because we're still you know so buying groceries you're still slightly exposed but uh we're pretty you know strict about it but even that like you know i think we're gonna have to to go back if we get into that red zone yeah and yeah it's well i mean the thing is even going to the grocery store is a risk i guess you could shoot we could shoot try guys videos in vr where you're all sort of at your homes but kind of hologrammed in honestly i think we should buy some oculuses and do some vr videos that i love that like paintbrush thing where you paint in 3d space yeah i could get lost in that for days i mean maybe the solution is a drone right because that would give us some really high production value stuff our videos would look cool it wouldn't be like oh it looks this is you and your house again yeah it could be like 40 feet apart yeah vlog footage from your home kind of a spicy paper challenge but then just cut drone shots over the neighborhood no but like we could we could go to an empty part of like a beach or something or a mountain right yeah uh do a video there and then also get a cool drone shot or we could use our drones to spy on each other and make a video called i spied on zack all morning and it's me operating a drone from my car for a couple hours in the morning that's a good idea he's drinking his tea he still hasn't put on pants he is wearing a shirt pajamas i broke into keith's house using a drone you have the little drone with like a hook and it slides the door open wait zach don't you sleep naked or something i sleep in my underwear no i actually can't do i don't know what you guys do i can't sleep naked i've tried it there's something about the like the the extra level i can't sleep in pajamas i get too hot miles cut it out my dick's too big it's what i was gonna say but i i'm very temperamental when i sleep so i need like the ac or a fan set to a very specific temperature if it's one degree off and i know depending on what house it is like what that degree is i wake up in a sweat if it's too cold i'm like oh i'm shivering but if my if i tr i've tried in my life to not wear underwear to sleep and i like wake up and i feel exposed and it feels like i'm just flying all over the place i just i hate it like my body rejects the feeling of sleeping naked it's bizarre to me you guys ever run through your house naked hoping that nobody walks by the front window just because like well i just need to get i just need to get that thing off the couch but i'm i'm naked from the shower or something like i'm i'm going for it oh yeah you go and luckily nobody walks by your window oh adrenaline i i do that all the time and i'm sure one day i'm gonna just like lock eyes with someone the motion of you running is way more likely to catch someone's attention and be a way more horrifying image like that's true i mean you know the front windows i got the blinds on but the side windows it's like am i really gonna take the time to put these tiny little blinds down every night are any of you guys naked sleepers no i do a t-shirt and boxers usually but if i'm really drunk sometimes i'll just sleep totally naked oh i've seen it if you're really drunk you pass out fully nude that's just checking yeah first i take a shower i'll sit on the floor of the shower for a little while um you know think about what's happening ponder my life's decisions that led to this moment uh and then just towel off and go straight to bed i will forever remember the image of ned in a hotel room passed out naked drunk diagonal across the bed with just a tiny washcloth covering his butt that eugene gently laid on top of him that's a good friend you know yeah he is a good friend not even a full towel just well he's not that good of a friend yeah but ned was very drunk that night before before he fell asleep that was the last time i beat ned in magic the gathering oh yeah i haven't played a lot but that was the last time you demolished me i remember you kept a target creature cannot attack or block unlike all three of my creatures i was like no i can't do anything but that might also have been the last time we played magic the gathering we played some we played some in alaska and you oh every single time and i was like man i can't catch a break there's a little second try magic the gathering uh group that's been going keith so i don't know i know i need to get back in um i just i played with will and ian monday night it's on zoom it's on a thing called tabletop simulator where it's totally like it's like vr where your deck is just in the game and you can flip it but you guys played until like one two in the morning right no not two in the morning miles i heard 1 30. from well i'm sorry is there a try guys fraternity of card games going on that i was not privy to i have not been invited please join us you can play magic the gathering invite don't do it like that you've never expressed any interest in the multiple times i've talked about this game that i play a couple of times a week i'm waiting to be asked i can't request i need to be i need to be sought after i need to be pursued i think i've asked you if you want to play a couple times we definitely asked you you've actually scorned it which makes it likely to ask again well i didn't know will was involved he's kind of the out of the alpha dog so will is ours as an editor that you guys probably know and he uh so he's the only one that has been going to the office because like that is just his safe space and now that we're kind of doing a little bit more filming we've he has the back of the office totally to himself he has his own entrance we have the front of the office so sometimes we get to see each other when he's going to the bathroom and he has taken this quarantine as an opportunity to grow a mullet that is his like he's like i just broke up with somebody i'm not seeing anybody now's the time to be alive [Music] it's beautiful too it's such a choice i love it looks good yeah will's a hero fellas it's 20 20. you have no excuse to not be fashionable and to still be wearing clothing that doesn't fit you well if you find that most your outfits are a bit too long too short too tight too loose indochino is here to make your life a whole lot easier they make high quality custom suits shirts coats and more all for a perfect fit at a great price and you get to customize everything from the fabric and lining to the lapel shape and monogram the choice is all yours your clothing is then made to your exact measurements so it fits you perfectly the best part is indochinese custom suits start at just 299 all customizations included so you're getting like a full-on tailored suit for under 300 that's pretty good industrino has the showrooms all across north america or you can book a virtual appointment shop online at indochino.com and right now you get an extra 30 off any purchase of 399 or more by using code cadence at checkout that's indicino.com code cadence [Music] life is you know continuing like this uh at infinitum right now and so it does feel like now is the time that you could try something crazy right you could grow a mullet you could pick up and go across the country is there something that you in your mind you're like yes i'm gonna i'm gonna just go for it i've been thinking like you know we had a tour bus last year for our tour and i bet the tour bus industry is down how cheap do you think i could get a tour bus for like two weeks just to like like just go like take the get a driver take the tour bus and go like hit some take out restaurants and do some food videos in a tour bus and eat yeah i need the menu tour that like is just take out and you know it's just a couple of us in the tour bus we could sleep in the bus we have to find places to use the bathroom and shower that's always the trick that's very interesting because i bet you like camper vans like the you know tour america those are all definitely sold out and very expensive but no one's thinking about the concert industry buses you know i bet we can get them on the cheap because you know it's there's no one's using them dude i never told this story on the podcast i don't think and if i did then you can just cut it the [ __ ] this is now months and months and months ago actually it was right when disney plus came out my sister and i were like let's watch something let's watch the hannah montana movie i didn't even remember that there was a hannah montana movie it's fine and there's no twilight it's no twilight uh uh margo morningdale is that her name margo martindale great character actress so there's at the end of the movie hannah is having this like should i be hannah should i be miley should i leave hannah behind and become miley full-time she's having a real crisis she goes into her tour bus and her grandma comes to comfort her and i'm looking at this thing and i'm like wait a [ __ ] second that's our tour bus no bus from the summer and then i'm like no no no it can't be but then i'm looking at it and i don't when we were on tour the guys who were with us on tour were like this is a weird tour bus and i'm like what are you talking about he's like well the fridge is over here and the table's over here and normally it's flipped and they were talking about all these specifics like the color scheme and the decor and the way it was laid out and i am i'm losing my mind watching the scene and it was our bus and what also makes more sense about that is that our bus when we went on tour was the last bus in the world that was the last bus available for those who had the internet the dregs of the dregs like there was this was the bus 1990 fabulous yeah it was bad so it definitely stands to reason that when this very low budget disney movie disney channel movie was like we need a bus what's the shittiest one you got can we cut for a second oh yeah i desperately have to poop i'm so sorry all right well everybody else keep rolling he'll just resync it later bye now didn't we just make that part of the content he's trying to cut that out as if that's not gold that's good stuff there it happens we do these in the morning we've had our coffee we've had our water and you know nature takes his course i have to pee so bad every time i'm starting about right now and you know i just deal with it you know you see me you see me drinking the water if you're watching the youtube feed you see me drinking it but i'm trying to frantically run away during the advice that'll go for miles theme song that's my break it's awesome you have a ton of people you have time so it's long it's pretty long but that bus was cool but i do think we could get a bus i've always wanted to get a tour bus to do and eat the menu um uh cheesecake factory yeah and make that a tour because it's so many things that it would just take so long but now i'm thinking like maybe i should just go tour and like hit up some other cool restaurants and we could live on the tour bus you know maybe we get one of the good ones that you can shower and poop on and then that's all we need well i have told you that when you do the cheesecake factory i want that to be the eat the menu finale and i want to direct it as a three-part epic like i want it to be a serialized dramatic beautifully filmed magnum opus of what eat the menu can be wow i mean i'm so on board i don't know how we'll do that there's so there's hundreds of things it's across the country it's sort of like a road trip film yeah what i figured is like we do like the first page at this one and we drive like eight hours and then we do the next page of the menu at this one and you keep going yeah yeah yeah oh it's definitely over 90 minutes long and i think that yeah making it a road trip there's like a drama because the cumulative effect day to day of only ingesting cheesecake factory yeah yeah is really quite terrifying it's kind of like super size me it would be a lot like super sized meat cheesecake me i don't know it's so hard to to not have things to look forward to i wish everybody would just put on a mask for six weeks then we'd be mostly fine i know it's just it's such a simple solution i get that it's inconvenient but so is this so isn't this more inconvenient isn't not having uh i don't know things to look forward to yeah you know what's been pretty inconvenient death yeah yeah and they're just like discovering more and more things of like oh it can also give you like uh brain problems it can also give you like fertility problems this seems like the worst thing ever don't we not want to get it shouldn't we fight really hard to not get it yeah i don't want it it's maggie was explaining it to me a little more but it's a they discovered it's a blood vessel problem and so it operates in a very different way than the way we think of of viruses and flus it's a totally different thing and that's why it's it's having effects on different parts of the body and i'm not intelligent enough to explain it right now me neither i don't know anything about it but i do know putting something on your face helps a lot so let's just do that all right well speaking of cheesecake have you guys seen this cake [ __ ] going on oh yeah the cake thing it's just the old is it a shoe or is it cake everything what is this yeah is it cake is the internet cake this is old hat you know it's it's been going around but it's people making very photo realistic things that then you cut into and it's actually cake and for whatever reason oh cool it spread like a firestorm across twitter and i can't stand it anymore it is just everywhere i i feel like i can't trust anything we're living in this time where where fact has become objective right like i think that's that's the one of the defining traits of the trump era is that now we're just debating facts and facts our opinion and and fact is emotional and and science is how do you feel about it and now we have this this symbol of the times we have think things that are secretly cake and my my trust in the world has just been fully eroded yeah you're using shoe cakes to stand in for like climate change yeah i underestimated how popular it was gonna be because i saw it at the beginning and it's just like wow everyone's really talking about this still and this was like two weeks ago the cake there was a new york times article about it wow i think it's everybody misses real things so much that to see that the real things aren't even real anymore that's sad i think it's people have a lot of time on their hands they're like maybe i could make a shoe cake too i i'm looking at some of these images and they look they look amazing i mean these are stunning this is my first time seeing it really you know how uh i get around this anxiety as i just don't open twitter yeah what's that like how do you know what to be mad about yeah you redirect it elsewhere yeah these are stunning shoe cakes you say that now man you're gonna walk in and your son's gonna be making something beautiful he's gonna say the cutest thing and then all of a sudden ariel's gonna go would you like a piece of cake and she cuts in and it turns out wes has been cake all along no you can't believe that no that was a cake once that's right you did the face cake thing yeah we had somebody make a cake out of my head and then i i ate it and it was very funny it was a funny day i was that was a fun video i got some good pictures from that becky was horrified it was red velvet cake underneath so it was just all bloody looking inside it was it was a fun day it was fun what can i say you know it was a great time to get i recommend everybody get a cake made in the shape of their head and then you unveil it to your family under a lid and then you go ah and give everybody a good scare now and then that sounds awesome well this is a rough segue but i'm about to celebrate this week uh you may see on youtube behind me i am still in the danger room it's it's the chaos of the moving room this is the last week to that we are renovating our garage so it will be done this week and the room will finally take it all out of this room and move it into the new garage that's big the garage room and it's huge we've been looking forward to this for several months and then yeah ariel's parents are quarantining in nevada they're gonna drive over on friday now the plan i thought was that the garage was going to be for my birthday soiree silent disco correct uh yes yeah actually but we had a couple of snags ordering the hazmat suits because like real people who are professionals need them i'm a professional so yeah the office is empty enough and big enough that we could put a makeshift bowling alley in it we just we order a couple bowling balls and like 10 pins and we'll just set a like a retrieve area and then we'll just individually set the pins back up i'll be your pinboy and then we'll have a little like you know social distance bowling party with just our bubble and it'll feel magnificent we'll get uh we'll get a boom box you know we'll play some tunes maybe we'll order some food you can eat and it will bowl maybe for your birthday maybe i was like i went with my mine always goes to pizza for a party but well you can't have that like nachos no that's a no now you don't think that uh throwing bowling balls is going to cause some irreparable damage to our new office perhaps shatter some windows well we're obviously not gonna bowl toward the windows zag we'll pull into the corner where it's just a concrete wall it's already polished concrete i mean and then any damage we do we'll just blame on the construction company and be like you guys did this and then if they use this audio as a source that we did it we'll say you're crazy that's a comedy podcast yeah it was a joke i think if we all bring in our pillows and then another pillow from the couch and then a third pillow that adds some style like a decorative throw pillow and then we put all the pillows in the corner boom that's the bowling area i thought you would say boom pillow corner pillow corner still bowled into the concrete but you can chill in the pillow corner it's the hookah lounge oh hey machines for that not gonna lie friends we uh very excited about the prospect of a new office but uh considering the events of late feeling like a little bit of uh big old dummies yeah a little bit of dummies yeah invested a lot of money in a five-year lease the ink dried and the virus spread yep yep really no no backing out now we paid our whole first year's rent yeah in advance you know here's an interesting thing about the the housing market though is that now if you're like buying a house um there is like a uh like a corona clause basically oh really um or maybe it's changed now but when we because we were putting in an offer on a house a little while ago we did not end up getting it but during that time the corona outbreak really happened and the lockdown went into effect and there was a clause being like okay well the buyer can get out at any time because of the pandemic the worst tim allen sequel the corona claws you put on the jacket you become the virus you gotta go down people's chimneys and cough in their face oh my god horrifying there's a whole host of throwing games we could do there if we didn't feel it you know you could get set up bags in there you could set up stuff basically games where you don't have to be near one another and carnival ring toss carnival ring toss throwing a frisbee through a hoop you know all that kind of stuff so listen to this my parents frantically called me they accidentally they it's my 30th birthday so it's a big one uh they bought me a very cool gift but they accidentally sent the receipt to my email so i got notified of it you know three weeks prior my birthday gift is already it's very so whatever but i was talking to my sister and she's like okay you know what it is so i can tell you what they didn't get you and my mom what she thought was like my baby boy's turning 30. i know what he needs for his birthday so she was going to get me a custom cornhole set with my baby picture on it that's what she thought i needed for me oh my god i'm like in what world am do i want to roll up to a party with my giant baby photo or host a party i'm going to use that and you know what i don't you don't even strike me as a big cornhole connoisseur it's just my name you don't have an apartment where you say outdoor space this gift sounds amazing that is so funny i it is wow what an amazing like how do you come up with that i don't know that's a brilliant idea crazy our ideas look very unoriginal in comparison oh you could do little like um you could sew the the bags that look like little pieces of food and then you throw it on little baby zach yeah dip the bags in pumpkin puree and ketchup so that it's staining like the way when babies eat food yes and it sticks and you don't spawn with your hands you throw them with a tiny little spoon more exciting and instead they got me a very nice record player oh that's way better my dad is a huge vinyl collector i mean he's like a music nut so when we were growing up you know how like some people would build like their little wine cellar corner like their we had a closet dedicated just to vinyl and so now what i think is gonna begin over the next several years i'm going to just every birthday from here on out is going to be the laziest thing but i'm stoked it's just going to be here's a here's 10 more vinyl from the last 40 years uh and i'm going to and i'm gonna need to figure out how to store what eventually will be probably close to a thousand vinyls i'm going to inherit oh i mean it's crazy he has so much that he has kept so this is the last gift that they'll spend actual money on yeah exactly and it kind of is like setting the stage yeah something i did last night and this and you made me think of it with the music from the past and this is some advice i have if for all our listeners before we get to the real advice um some pre advice and this is that i was like bored and somehow youtube recommended to me a 1997 festival performance of radiohead and i thought yeah okay yes and you know we can't go to music festivals this year so why listen to music festivals of the last couple years dig back back go in the past and find a band that you like and just watch their festival set from like over 20 years ago and be like wow that's what it was like to see radiohead in their prime wow it was so cool to see them as young musicians still like and also like seeing how the crowd reacts to their music in the late 90s because their music isn't dancy so it's like but it's you know entrancing and it was like it was just a great little it was a great little trip that's pretty good advice keith but you are one of the oldest and wisest members of our group it's time to hear from the youngest and least experienced member to give some advice in a segment we call advice that'll go for miles with miles bonzino [Music] it's advice it'll go four miles it'll go four miles everyone get ready file stations hey what's up miles nation how's everybody doing you're good [Laughter] have you ever wanted to fall in love with an apple have you ever wanted this sweet juice to drip down your chin and think that was a snack to remember i like yeah i like apples they're fine some of them not all of them everybody knows the main problem with apples is that they're too difficult too challenging too complicated are you out of your goddamn mind you're gonna [ __ ] on apples like that but i've got a solution that's gonna tickle your ass and make even the softest baby smile at a little treat i call apples get an old-fashioned spiralizer for your apples i really thought your advice was going to be applesauce apple juice i was about to shut my computer and walk away podcast over get it applesauce it's like pudding but made of apples no as old-fashioned spiralizers is gonna do two things one it's gonna look like a freaking apocalyptic weapon the other thing it's like a middle ages torture device for sure exactly and you here's what you do you chunk your apple on a spear and then you twist and turn it until it skins that sweet little nectarine alive oh my god that's that's right yeah but it's what it's gonna do is also gonna core it and here's a pro tip for all the apple heads out there steve jobs who talk about steve bonsignore so what you're going to want to do is take the spiralized apple put it in the microwave with a little bit of cinnamon and a little bit of sugar and you've got a freaking hot treat like a baked apple baked apple in the microwave sliced to perfection microwaved on high medium low for three minutes pretty good advice does the spiralizer take the corn out i mean best part i'm a big fan of spiralizers we have one we only use it once a year for making apple pie on thanksgiving but it is so cool you just slap it on and then you like twirl it like they did like a jack in the box yeah it goes right where where you get the best is if you can do it so you get one single the skin of the apple is all one long piece and it's like a giant spring that's what i always try and do go on and then it'll core it yeah do you ever use it as like apple skin pasta you can probably do that yeah sure why not wes like wears it as a necklace he puts on his head that's hilarious so we're gonna we're gonna stand by and say this is this is good advice we're going to tell our listeners to spend spend money during these trying times on a spiralizer yeah apple yeah it's a single use it's only it's the simple joys nowadays that's a pretty good thing to have in your kitchen to be honest it's definitely it's not once a year ned i but i get but zach i derive a lot of joy out of that use and get this potatoes yeah you can do a potato one yeah it's gonna do the same thing to potatoes i just looked up you can get one for 16 boom baby and they also sell a very fancy one for three hundred and fifty dollars one baby that is crazy this is made by matt for bolger we do a worth it style series which is just really like niche kitchen products at high and low prices and see is it worth 350 dollars to peel your apple this must be like restaurant grade it's got a clam what is restaurant great it's mean it's peeling an apple i think it's like more like sturdy you know it's for me peeling thousands of apples i'm picturing yours is basically a pencil sharpener you're like yes that is exactly what it is yeah but it makes a treat that's fun and that makes me want to eat apples which normally i feel are too difficult to ch to eat into what are you talking about i hate cleaning though and i feel like there's cleaning with that it's suction cups to the tile on your kitchen counter and then you just you just kind of pop and then you put just like rinse it off but it's all like metal and stuff i love cutting me up an apple it's a real pleasure i i i don't eat apples holds from childhood i have to cut it up and then i have my little slices sometimes you dip it in peanut butter peanut butter that's a little treat for daddy right there yeah speaking of things you can buy here i am browsing on tryguys.com we've got the keep trying t-shirts 25 for either you can get the the white on black or you can get this rainbow gradient it looks i'm the model for that i look real classy yeah why buy an apple spiralizer that you'll use once a year when you can have a dope t-shirt that you could wear once a week or twice a week if you do your laundry often or you are inside all the time and realize that hygiene doesn't matter and you can oh yeah shirt same shirt don't get that sweaty you can wear it multiple times a week it's true oh yeah or if you're like ned you could wear it to sleep that's a treat for the day and that's true and they are you know the keep trying shirt does classify as a sleep shirt because it is so soft it's so soft it makes me so sensitive on my skin it's basically ned's blanket it's a t-shirt and a blanket yeah pretend you're ned while you sleep in our shirts also be sure to subscribe and rate us five stars that helps other people discover the podcast and you can join our community at patreon.com try guys to get exclusive content that's where our most passionate fans hang out with us on our chat servers and do us a favor tell people to listen to this podcast and whatever you do do not go listen and you can sit with us they're already more popular than us yeah that's true you might want to go check it out you know just go listen to know what you don't want to listen to listen and leave a comment that says like or oh great podcast great great podcast exclamation point five stars like this is what i want uh well what a tripod it's been huh guys [ __ ] we nailed it again that's another hot episode feeling good about it we'll leave you with a clip of the show that we definitely don't want you to listen to just so you can see how bad it is enjoy that but first keith hit us with the official trap hat theme song until next time stay beautiful hey everyone i'm ariel i'm becky i'm maggie and some of you know us as the triwives we have a brand new weekly podcast called you can sit with us where we have fun lighthearted conversations about female friendship and what's going on in our lives we'll talk about pop culture current events motherhood pretty much everything take a seat and join us here's a little clip of what we have in store meg you have a really good um early dating i don't know if you want to share this story what story about what you found in the pillow oh my god what sounds sinister you don't have to i think it's we can find a story i think it's oh it might be zach's story to tell no it is no i think it's yours it's time to tell him a story oh my god he can tell i think this was one of like the first couple times i had spent the night at zack's old apartment and he lived with his two one of his childhood best friends from new york and then another friend that also grew up in the same town and then setting the scene for zach's old apartment oh yeah but you go off in their new apartment zach's old apartment was this college den there was a bathroom downstairs had saloon doors it didn't even have a reel sometimes they would lock and you'd get trapped so at parties they'd be like zach i'm gonna go pee in your room and he's like okay and i would go upstairs and then crawl over like piles of clothes it was and like a frat house yeah it had a really nice backyard and they had and they had like an enormous television that was always on and like blasting music fast and furious it was like a true like bachelor pad yes many fun memories to be had in the bachelor pads they were all a blast yeah but i do prefer housing situation apartments oh yeah for sure what was in the pillow yeah what so upstairs you go to zach's room so you go upstairs and it was one of the first times i had spent the night there and anytime that same day i noticed that anytime the ac would come on there would be this smell and it was like during the day before we had go gone to bed and it almost smelled like a plastic i don't know what it was i was like zach what is that smell he's like oh i don't know maybe it's like something with maybe we need to change the vents and i was like okay whatever so we're still hanging out we're watching movies we're about to go to bed the ac comes back on because zach turns it on before he goes to sleep and i'm sleeping on his like jersey sheets pillow and i'm like trying to find a comfy spot and i like my hands are like touching the pillow readjusting oh dear god i'm patting and i'm patting and i'm patting what is it what is it becky knows she's fine there's something in here and the lights are all off zach goes oh [ __ ] he grabs a giant black dildo at the window outside of his room [Applause] yes yes and it smelled like just like latex but it was like it was like it was angled like the ac was hitting the plastic of it and like walked in the sweat oh my god so context i guess he did like a lonely island shoe and he had all like they were giving away all these dildos i was like just so zach being said he was like yeah i'll take one okay i could use these in a video later yeah so he kept them in his bed but but him and his roommates had like this joke like they would have like toys and stuff that they would pass back and forth so like his roommate beto would just like put it on the door and it would just be like shaking and stuff or like one of them would pack it in their suitcases so when they would like travel out of town they'd open it and like go home to their parents yeah it would just be there but i was just like zach was like horrified and like he didn't want to talk about it for five minutes and i was like freaking out i'm like that's like the worst reaction to have when your like new girlfriend finds a huge dildo in your bag and he doesn't want to talk about it he was so mad but we laugh about it now remember the first time i heard i almost feed myself because i just imagined like sweet sweet angelic maggie holding a giant dildo and like screaming in the dark oh my god i could see like like it was pitch black dark but i could see like a light bulb in zack's head like oh my god i know what it is something else it's called you can sit with us so please do you can get it anywhere you get your podcasts you

Channel: TryPods

Views: 319,077

Rating: 4.9545574 out of 5

Keywords: cheesecake factory, keith, eugene, zach, ned, drones, you can sit with us, wives, first dates, story, miles, advice, apple spiralizer, slicer, tryguys, habersberger, fulmer, kornfeld, yang, buzzfeedvideo, buzzfeed, ariel, ned & ariel, comedy, education, funny, try, learn, fail, experiment, test, tryceratops

Id: aO1AjofpVmE

Length: 63min 7sec (3787 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 16 2020