Jonathan Winters dazzles Johnny with Weird Hats & Characters

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] well sorry I don't think I I don't think I got your name didn't you know I didn't sir buck Ethel Hoffer I hope you don't mind either one of you about you I know it's no sir not as well I'll always have ever since I'm six years old always had a bunch of stuff in the right side of my face yeah it's like water just like ballplayers do that and I suppose what has always been fun for me is to get a little Curt dog you get their attention right away they just start kiss they can't see for Bernard yeah well mr. neat needle hopper is it Nadel Holcomb needle huh yeah buck where you from originally yeah well sure originally from Shawnee you run Wyoming working way into Chicago then I went up into Mount of Toba with a weight and machine just a lot of machinery cut weight up there for a while you're not into salmon and very serious laughs at a salmon person grab a treble hook into your face boy I'll tell you I know you're tight with this man but you laugh at a man set his hands in cannery motions laughs there's another reason that you varrick's you've had a you've wore many hats as they wore many hats I think and I think in society a man has to wear many hats that's true look there's a senator tonight somewheres wearing a lot of them yeah don't know you were in the ranching business now I didn't ranching business now and I have been for the last 22 years I'll come out of mining college when I was 50 how much you call a slow student or learner but I just told them toward dan give me some dynamite and we'll find the damn stuff so I come out there and there was a Miss lug Ridge this luggage yeah miss hound luggage a woman who'd lost her legs believe it or not dude woodpeckers the only were split but said well it's sad but it's good and it was a conversation piece that got her in the local paper and that's all she ever wanted out of life and her legs look wooden apparently to the birds watching and they ate her legs away oh my and so I propped her up in bed that the place and you know good set of pillars and the good Zenith in your own business oil here Sunday a week we come into a flash flood Oh No thirty-six hundred acres they're on three thousand six hundred acres and only two cows oh that was always her humor so when we found him they were skeletons and water took the guys in the bunkhouse had been that or whiskey and it took them there was 17 of them and they found them in unusual positions guy up there on the trees like yes another man laid back obviously sent what they know sliced was coming immediately and you have to appeal make a run boys well the dam broke which we never knew is in back of that ranch and you know you'd think you'd go fair to face well we never did go back up in there and somebody got the plane in the dam and broke it it's nice to have you well it feel good to be here you are [Applause] [Music] you are possessed you remember this - I told the audience you didn't in the dressing room about making info I remembered that I've had a lot of malfunctions on both sides but I I do remember that I remember one time several years ago a very short story will condense it quickly if a commercial should come up I'll go with it anyway but anyway a guy came into my house and I don't I haven't hunted anything in a long time world war ii we hunted constantly and and we did see to what we were destined to be Toyota dealers and [Applause] Henry III shot some squirrels you know coming out of the service had to do something because my wife couldn't get the washer to work and I she said just go out go out you know and do something so I went out and killed something and uh so I I got a couple squirrel and some pheasant and yeah and I put that aside and decided I'd never kill anything again you know and so a guy came into my house here a few years ago and my wife had given me a wonderful zebra rug but she got on sale right and I don't think she would you know in deference turn you're a wonderful woman and wife of course my mother of my two children so I have to go along with that and I think the sad thing with the tale was missing and when you have a tale missing on anything it's not good because you're going oh it's ham then tale you always have to explain this she got it on sale helmet tails gone you know unless lay it's like a bear rug without the head come on man it's a bargains a bargain you know first day out of the bear went through the wall so a guy came in and he said did you kill this well right away you know that thing looms up and he's coming right right to bear arms killer you know he's been dating Gretchen wound or something and so they raked um he looked down he said did you kill this zebra and I said yes I did yep Oh God did you kill it in Africa nice little no reason to go to Africa you know a companion to myself got in a I don't know you Chevy a little pickup and throw in a heavy duty you know one of those Clint Eastwood numbers and slipped out under the seat and went on down to San Diego when in the zoo around two o'clock in the morning a couple of six-packs for the guys hey so you know on the other guy give it to me so late a fast 50 Lenny one in he gave one look at us the zebra you know and it annoys him and his tail automatically fell off what the guy but I actually I want to tell the people out there I did not do that but I told him that and he left almost immediately we got to do this of course we do oh I drink that regularly instead of huh instead here's there are times when we would have both favored this really what I called John on the phone the other dances why don't you just come on there's a lot of stuff going on as you know on television every day and I thought maybe I'd give you a little hat or something and introduce you as one of the witnesses and the in the hearings sure and you could explain what's happening it's probably the greatest soap opera in the world isn't is it's just fantastic and to think that it's happening here in America all right general Richard discord didn't call me dick all right dick you fought for your country in the world war two mm-hmm now you're a retired Major General pretty much so I'd like to wear my hat intone drummed out right tell me general the diversion of funds to the Contras there seems to be a trail from Switzerland to Iran back to the Contras did you have any personal knowledge of the diversion of funds and did you profit from any of those monies at all that's a long question I want you to take your time general well I'll certainly do that I would say that's a tort free Parker well let's take the first part did you know about the diversion of funds a little bit little bit no let's go ahead with it what's the rest of it all right did you know that the funds were being diverted to the Contras no had no word of that no knowledge that there were any countries or Senators as a matter of fact myself a guy called Ted and another guy called Karl mm-hmm and Bob right toward the end of mmm 84 84 and a half almost 85 85 decided we were gonna buy and a very wealthy man in Texas Managua now we have no information on that at all good good nothing about buying Minako at all well that's that was art he was a side goodie I see did you profit personally from this at all I've never profited personally from anything except my first marriage my wife saw to it that I got through West Point and at times took my classes at Annapolis and I'm very proud of my country I'm very proud of my present I'm very proud of my children even though they're living in Ecuador now that's about it well if I had it to do over again sir yes may I have your name please senator bill Minh senator bill Minh oh yeah well thank you general and we may call you back again tomorrow once you do something that has nothing to do with hearings it all good all right I'll just introduce you here this is great good ball player always says this y'all works the bill yeah it's like this he's a truck driver looks like this he's been hit by a truck it's like this he's catching he's like this I'll get it for something boy wears it like good yes right yes sir so you're with Willis the legendary legendary baseball star of the 30s I'd say pretty much a legend in my own time John huh huh I'm still a legend I'm still throwing that series of things I throw and I'd like to point that out I'm 65 years old 65 yeah yeah I'm sort of a Caucasian Satchel Paige my goodness did you go out there do you think of him the old-timers game and still pitch a couple of Homer's to me or a pain in the you know yeah I suppose you can't say that one fairy baby but I don't care I like to play with young people get your mind up it keeps the heart moving in your eyes my eyes I still see them it I still see the man's fingers you know that that he used to say they hold them over here you know hold that money clip of the money that's well humor for baseball pardon well sneaking the money now you you played in the days when ballplayers didn't make a lot of money today's players get a million dollars or so you you get any offers to do say commercials for television beer commercials or something like that I've had a lot of offers and I've read for these things but I've never got them honest and uh I think that I don't know what it is maybe it's my rating I I'm not an actor I am a ballplayer right and I'd like to bring this out to the boys and girls to America right now and there's a lot of girls I'm working with girls and always have been because I have a more of an interest in girls than I do Bo I sing okay oh yeah oh yeah and I have my own girl softball Club and we take them all over middle America and having throw softball also have Harbaugh and my stepdaughters I have four of them oh yeah didn't do too good on the fourth marriage ends I have four stepdaughters I'm trying to put through they're put through animal husbandry school and oh yeah unique yeah well they are wedding dresses of the bear play second base and you can tell that she's got a lot of work ahead of her no I throw up I throw a curve like this if you're watching now please this is a curve that's curve ball yeah you have to do this with people this is an ocular knuckler this is actually arthritis well know that it's nice to see you again a happy retirement you thank you now we're gonna talk just briefly to an average citizen in the United States and your name sir is Elaine second face Wayne Wayne sick and Wayne second face what do you where do you call home Wayne Wales no I'm kidding where Wales deep decent young people are from Wales originally in Scotland and also Istanbul yeah another thing that's going on today all the accusations made the impropriety of some government how do you feel about your country Oh improprieties yeah well I feel it I feel the country is suffering immensely from tremendous lies when slice have been laid on a slice by slice but I have lied most of my life okay now let me say this the lie is a lie but when you get upwards of 60 you better stop lying not that I'm you know afraid of going up or down it's just in case I go up I think so I whatever you ask me and I'm touching you for a reason awesome just like the hunt you're a really good-looking mind well thank you do you live alone do you wink well sometimes it's getting tougher and tougher to haven't come up to the third floor I hate to see a grown woman 38 years old shimmy up a drainpipe oh that's any way you work you're from Raley's Risley from wales well I'm not a reason I was kidding about that why see when you're out there all year round on the farm will you have fun yeah I have a farm I have over 13 acres well that's no that's not big by most standards well it's where it is oh where was the farm it's actually Albion Albion I wish I could say where it is guess before I come here I was struck by lightning oh yeah two hours up limits two hours up coming out of hell I don't where I'm from originally but the lightning hitting a lightning didn't hit the plane come through the wind and that's going to affect your memory but anytime you come where I'm from look me up I certainly will thank you it's nice to have you here tonight we'll be back

Channel: spookylorre

Views: 1,547,842

Rating: 4.6840568 out of 5

Keywords: Jonathan winters

Id: QRsCXUkTJyM

Length: 15min 50sec (950 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 16 2017