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>> Stephen: WE'RE BACK WITH JOHN OLIVER, STAR OF "JOHN OLIVER IS
ON TV THIS WEEK." JOHN OLIVER. SO ENGLAND HAS THE PREMIERE
LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP OVER THERE, AND OVER THE SUMMER, THEY HAD
THEIR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP THAT THE ALL WHOLE WORLD PLAYS IN,
RIGHT? OR WAS IS THAT JUST IN-- IT WAS
JUST GREAT BRITAIN PLAYING EACH OTHER? >> THAT'S THE WORLD CUP. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE WORLD
CUP THERE. >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW. >> YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW. >> Stephen: I'M TRYING TO BE
NICE. I'M JUST TRYING TO BE NICE, MAN. >> YOU KNOW SOMETHING --
>> Stephen: CROSS-PLATFORM SYNERGY. >> THEY DON'T KEEP YOU UP AT
NIGHT WE'RE GOING LIVE AFTER THE WORLD CUP. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT AND
MENTION BUDWEISER. THEY DON'T SAY THAT TO YOU? >> NOT YET. BUT THANKS FOR GIVING THEM THE
IDEA. WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS ON
PARAMOUNT-PLUS. THAT'S ALL ANYONE IS TALKING
ABOUT. THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE NATIONAL
CONVERSATION. MOST OF MY MONOLOGUE TONIGHT WAS
ABOUT PARAMOUNT-PLUS. OH, THE IMPEACHMENT. LAST YEAR, YOU WERE HAPPY
BECAUSE YOUR SERIES DIDN'T START UNTIL AFTER IMPEACHMENT WAS
OVER, RIGHT? IT WAS OVER AT THIS POINT LAST
YEAR, SO YOU MISSED THE WHOLE THING. BUT NOW THEY CAME IN, THEY JUST
SNAGGED YOU AT THE END. DID YOU WATCH ANY OF THE
PROCEEDINGS TODAY? >> I'VE JUST-- I'VE JUST BEEN
CATCHING UP ON IT. AND IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE NOTHING, RIGHT? >> Stephen: RIGHT, IT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE JUST PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE OR
ARGUING OVER THE CONSTITUTIONALITY-- SUPER CRY. >> IT WAS A PERFECT ECHO OF THE
TRUMP PRESIDENCY-- SOMETHING THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE NOTHING
IS MADE VERY MUCH SOMETHING. I GATHER THAT THE FIRST LAWYER
ENGAGED IN THE KIND OF FREE-STYLE BEAT POETRY FOR A
WHILE. >> Stephen: I THOUGHT HE WAS
JUST TRYING TO RUN OUT THE CLOCK. HE WAS LIKE, "OKAY, I GOT TO DO
AT LEAST AN HOUR HERE. YOU KNOW, THE ANCIENT GREEKS
WERE VERY... GOOD WITH THE... AND WHO CAN FORGET HOW THE
ROMANS DID IT." >> MAYBE HE HAD A STAGE MANAGER
LIKE YOU'VE GOT MARK JUST STANDING BEHIND THE CAMERA
GOING, "YOU HAVE TO GO. YOU HAVE TO GO LONGER." >> Stephen: WHAT PEOPLE DON'T
KNOW IS MY STAGE MANAGER IS YOUR STAGE MANAGER. BUT HE DOESN'T DO THIS FOR YOU,
BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE GUESTS. >> YEAH,■ç THAT'S TRUE. >> Stephen: RIGHT NOW, RIGHT
NOW, MARK IS GOING... >> HE DOES THE OPPOSITE. HE GOES LIKE THIS. "GO FASTER. GO FASTER. GO FASTER." LIKE A JOCKEY. "GO, GO, GO.33
TALK FASTER." >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT THAT
SMALL. YOU'RE NOT JOHN CEENA, BUT
YOU'RE NOT A JOCKEY. HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT. >> NO, MARK IS THE JOCKEY. I'M THE HORSE. >> Stephen: OH, HE'S THE
JOCKEY. >> HE'S THE JOCKEY. >> Stephen: OKAY, SEASON
STARTS SUNDAY. VALENTINE'S DAY. >> YES. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE--
WOULD YOU RECOMMEND YOUR SHOW FOR A FIRST DATE? >> I MEAN, I WOULD-- IT DEPENDS. I WOULD RECOMMEND IT FOR A LAST
DATE. THAT'S FOR SURE. VALENTINE'S DAY IS NOT JUST FOR
PEOPLE IN HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS. IT'S ALSO FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO
FIND A WAY TO GET OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP. AND I DON'T THINK THERE'S A
CLEANER WAY OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP THAN SAYING, "LET'S
SIT DOWN AND ENJOY THE ROMANTIC STYLINGS OF 'LAST WEEK TONIGHT'
ON HBO. YOU WANT TO GET OUT? I'LL GET YOU OUT." >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A
ROMANTIC SUBJECT THIS WEEK OR DO YOU NOT KNOW YET? IS IT STILL COOKING? >> I LIKE TO THINK THAT EVERY--
EVERY SUBJECT WE TOUCH ON HAS A KIND OF ROMANTIC TO IT, WOULD
YOU NOT AGREE WITH THAT? >> Stephen: SURE, SURE. >> THERE'S A KIND OF I THINK
SEXUAL TENSION CRACKLING THROUGH ANY STORY THAT WE DO. SO I CERTAINLY HOPE THAT-- I
HOPE THAT WILL BE PRESENT, WHATEVER IT IS. >> Stephen: I'LL TELL YOU
WHO-- I'LL TELL YOU WHO MIGHT GET A LITTLE TURNED ON BY YOUR
SHOW IS ANYONE IN THE FURRY COMMUNITY. >> OH, RIGHT. >> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU HAVE
QUITE FAMOUSLY-- LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF GUESTS. >> ALMOST NONE. >> Stephen: ALMOST NO GUESTS,
BUT YOU DO HAVE A LOT OF MASCOTS. >> YES. >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. WE HAVE THE SPACE GEKO. JEFF THE DISEASED LUNG. MR. NUTTER BUTTER AND HIS BARBER
SHOP SQUIRREL QUARTET. AND QIONG. AM I PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY? >> YOU ARE. >> Stephen: THESE LOOK
EXPENSIVE. I-- I-- DO YOU MAKE THEM
YOURSELVES? I MEAN, DOES YOUR SHOW-- I
ASSUME YOU DON'T SEW THEM. >> NO, NO. A MAGNIFICENT MASCOTT MAKER
CALLED BOB FLANAGAN MAKES THEM. HE'S VERY, VERY BEAUTIFUL. AND HBO WILL NEVER FIND OUT HOW
MUCH THEY COST. >> Stephen: WHERE DO YOU KEEP
THEM? WHERE DO YOU KEEP THEM WHEN
YOU'RE NOT USING THEM? I IMAGINE THE STORAGE COSTS ARE
CONSIDERABLE. >> WE USED TO KEEP THEM IN OUR
OFFICES. REMEMBER OFFICES, WHEN YOU WOULD
GATHER IN ONE BUILDING. >> Stephen: WITH PEOPLE. >> YEAH, THAT. WE USED TO HAVE A ROOM WHERE WE
PUT ALL OF THEM. BUT WE EVENTUALLY MOVED THEM
AFTER, LIKE, THE THIRD CHILD WHO HAD BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR OFFICE
KIND OF OPENED THE DOOR, SCREAMED. BECAUSE YOU KNOW, PUPPETS AND
MASCOTTS WHEN■ç THEY'RE ANIMATED ARE THE MOST MAGICAL THING ON
EARTH. A DECAPITATED MASCOTT HANGING
FROM A HOOK IN A MEAT LOCKER IS NOT SOMETHING A CHILD IS LIKELY
TO FORGET. >> Stephen: THEY SMELL
FANTASTIC INSIDE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE
CONDITION ANY MASCOTT WORK BUT THEY KEEP THE JUICES IN. >> THERE IS SOMETHING TRULY
MAGIC. I LOVED THE MUPPETS -- YOU KNOW
TIM CARAVEL. >> Stephen: YES. >> TIM CARAVEL, WE'RE MASSIVE,
MASSIVE FANS OF THE MUPPETS. I THINK WHAT WE WANTED TO DO WAS
MAKE OUR VERSION OF "THE MUPPET SHOW." >> Stephen: WHO ARE YOU? IF YOU'RE A MUPPET, ARE YOU
KERMIT? WHO ARE YOU? >> IAM NOT SO SELF-CONFIDENT TO
BE KERMIT. I LIKED ROLF. HE DOES GOOD, TAKES THE CAMERA. HE WOULD GET A LAUGH ANY TIME HE
DID THAT. I LIKED THE SWEDISH CHEF,
NATURALLY FUNNY. >> Stephen: HEY, I HAVE A
TRIVIA THING. WHAT IS UNUSUAL ABOUT THE
SWEDISH CHEF'S HANDS? >> WHAT? >> Stephen: THEY'RE THE ONLY--
HE'S THE ONLY MUPPET WITH HUMAN HANDS. THEY'RE ACTUALLY-- JIM HENCEN IS
THE SWEDISH CHEF, OR WAS THE SWEDISH CHEF, AND FRANK OZ WAS
THE HANDS. AND I WAS TALKING WITH FRANK
ABOUT THIS. AND HE SAID THEY HAD ACTUALLY
DONE IT FOR, LIKE, A MONTH BEFORE THEY WENT, "HOLY COW! WHAT ARE WE DOING? WE FORGOT TO GIVE HIM HANDS." >> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. >> Stephen: YEAH, IS THAT THE
SWEDISH CHEF. I THINK IT IS. IT'S THE SWEDISH CHEF HAS HUMAN
HANDS. AND IT WAS JUST A MISTAKE. >> THOSE TWO WERE INCREDIBLE. HAVE YOU SEEN THE-- THAT CAMERA
TEST OF THEM JUST TESTING OUT THE CAMERAS, WHEN YOU'VE GOT
FRANK OZ AND JIM HENSON, TESTIN THE CAMERAS FULL DEEP IN
CHARACTER. DANIEL DAY LEWIS ON MUPPETS. INCREDIBLY FUNNY, CONSTANTLY IN
CHARACTER. THE UTTER GREATNESS. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE
ANOTHER BREAK, BUT WHEN WE RETURN, WE WILL REVEAL WHAT
MUPPET JOHN OLIVER WOULD BE IF JOHN OLIVER WERE A MUPPET. THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE HIM. ♪ ♪ ♪
