♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK WITH JOHN OLIVER STAR
OF PARAMOUNT-PLUS' NEW "LAST WEEK TONIGHT." WE HEARD THAT YOU HAD WANTED
YOUR SHOW TO REALLY BE "THE MUPPET SHOW." >> WE DID. >> Stephen: MY PRODUCER GAVE
YOU THE BUZZFEED, "WHICH MUPPET ARE YOU TEST?"
BUT WE DID NOT GIVE YOU THE ANSWER. WE HAVE THE ANSWER HERE AS TO
WHO YOU ENDED UP BEING. DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A GUESS AS
TO WHICH MUPPET YOU ENDED UP BEING? AND THESE TESTS ARE IRONCLAD,
YOU UNDERSTAND. >> OH, WE KNOW THAT. IT'S A BUZZFEED TEST, THOSE ARE
ALWAYS PEER REVIEWED. >> THIS IS THE BUZZFEED P.C.R. MUPPET TEST, NOT THE INSTANT
SPIT TEST. >> I THINK "BUZZFEED" WORKS WITH
"THE LANCET." I WOULD LIKE TO BE ROLF. I WOULD LIKE TO BE GONZO. I DO BELIEVE THERE'S A BEAKER
INSIDE OF ME. I WAS SOMEWHERE ON THE SPECTRUM
BETWEEN GONZO AND BEAKER. YOU ARE ( BLEEP ) KIDDING ME. >> Stephen: YOU'RE MISS PIGGY. >> MISS PIGGY! >> Stephen: YOU'RE MISS PIGGY. YOU ARE BOLD AND CONFIDENT. YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE,
AND YOU GET OUT THERE AND MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR YOURSELF. YOU HAVE GREAT STYLE AND WIT. YOU CAN CHARM THE HECK JUST OUT
OF JUST ABOUT ANYBODY, AND YOU ALWAYS STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU
BELIEVE IN." THAT'S JOHN OLIVER. IT'S LIKE STARING IN A MIRROR
RIGHT NOW FOR YOU. >> I ABSOLUTE-- IT'S A MASSIVE
COMPLIMENT. I DO NOT HAVE THE SEXUAL
CONFIDENCE OF A MISS PIGGY. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE THE
SEXUAL CONFIDENCE TO PLAY THE VIOLA? BECAUSE I HAD HEARD FOR YEARS
NOW, FOR YEARS NOW I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO BREAK OUT THE
VIOLA, WHICH I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY. YOU SPENT YEARS PLAYING THE
VIOLA. THIS IS TRUE, CORRECT? >> I DID, I PLAYED-- I PLAYED
THE VIOLA ALL THE WAY THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. >> Stephen: IS THIS THE YEAR
THAT "LAST WEEK TONIGHT" YOU BREAK OUT THE VIOLA AND SERENADE
ALL OF US? WHAT'S THE BEST SONG YOU COULD--
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, VIOLA IS LIKE A VIOLIN, BUT
USELESS. >> HEY, HEY, HEY! >> Stephen: ABSOLUTE-- YOU CAN
SHINGLE A ROOF WITH ONE BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT. >> COMPLETELY WRONG. THE TONE OF AN ORCHESTRA WOULD
BE SHIFTED UNLESS YOU HAD A FEW PEOPLE THROWN IN THERE PLAYING A
VIOLA, WHICH IS LIKE A VIOLIN BUT A STRING LOWER. IF YOU CAN'T PLAY THE VIOLIN
WITH ANY FLARE, THEN YOU CAN FILL THE SOUND OF AN ORCHESTRA
BY DROWNING ON A VIOLA AND THAT WAS MY JOB. >> Stephen: WHAT IS YOUR
GO-TO, TUNE "TURKEY IN THE STRAW?"
>> THE BEST I GOT THE MORE I REALIZED HOW I WAS. THE BETTER YOU ARE, YOU GET THE
BETTER PIECES OF MUC. AND I REALIZED AS I PLAYED THAT
I REALIZED HOW BAD I WAS. IN YOUR HEAD YOU KNOW HOW YOU
WANT IT TO SOUND BUT YOUR FINGERS CAN'T DO IT, SO YOU END
UP WANTING TO SMASH IT AGAINST THE WALL LIKE A SIGNIFICANTLY
LESS COOL PETE TOWNSEND. >> Stephen: I THINK IT WOULD
BE COOL TO SEE YOU SMASH A VIOLA. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY PROOF
THAT-- I HEARD A LOT OF BRAGGING. I HEARD A LOT OF BIG TALK ABOUT
YOU AND VIOL AS OVER THE YEARS. >> THAT'S RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW WHY YO YO MAHAS
NEVER ENDED A CONCERT BY SMASHING IT ALL OVER THE STAGE. >> Stephen: BECAUSE HE'S NOT A
GIBSON OFF THE LINE. >> I WAS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED OF
PLAYING THE VIOLA IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. THAT'S THE THING. I WAS FINE WITH KIND OF
PERFORMING, AND YET ANY CONCERT AT SCHOOL I WAS PETRIFIED,
BECAUSE DEEP DOWN, I THINK I KNEW I WAS TERRIBLE. >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE MOST
TERRIFIED YOU HAVE BEEN AT ANY PERFORMANCE AT ALL? WHAT IS THE MOST SCARED YOU HAVE
BEEN TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND START A PERFORMANCE? >> HONESTLY, IT PROBABLY WASN'T
THAT. ANY TIME I WAS OPENING MY MOUTH,
I WAS OKAY. PLAYING MUSIC I WAS --
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT SINGING? >> OH, UM-- I MEAN, I NEVER KIND
OF TRIED TO-- I ALWAYS KIND OF DID THE COMIC-- IN MUSICALS, I
WAS ALWAYS KIND OF OSTRACIZED AS, "YOU CAN DO THE FUNNY SONG,"
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T INVOLVE ANY RANGE OR NATURAL VOCAL TONE AND
YOU CAN ACT LIKE THE WHOLE THING IS A JOKE EVEN THOUGH YOU
COULDN'T ACTUALLY DO THE THING YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF. >> Stephen: SO THAT DIDN'T
SCARE YOU EITHER? >> NO. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T GET
NERVOUS BEFORE YOU GO ON STAGE? >> NOT-- I THINK IT'S BEEN
BATTED OUT OF ME. YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU DO STANDUP --
>> Stephen: I NEVER DID IT. >> YEAH, BUT THE THING IS, LIKE,
YOUR FAILURES ARE SO VISCERAL, SO PERSONAL, THAT ONCE YOU'VE
BOMBED A HUNDRED TIMES-- IT'S LOT OF PEOPLE'S TRUE NIGHTMARE. THEY THINK I CAN'T THINK OF
ANYTHING WORSE IN LIFE THAN BEING ON STAGE AND BOMBING. ONCE IT'S HAPPENED TO YOU 100
TIMES, AUDIENCES LOSE THEIR CAPACITY TO HURT YOU. SO YOU JUST-- YOU JUST BECOME A
SHELL OF A PERSON. YOU'RE LIKE-- THERE IS NOTHING--
THERE IS NOTHING EXTRA INTERESTING ABOUT BOMBING IN
BIRMINGHAM. I JUST BOMBED IN LIVERPOOL. IT DOESN'T MATTER. >> Stephen: NOW, SO THE
FOLLOW-UP QUESTION, OBVIOUSLY, IS, IF BOMBING LOSES ANY SPECIAL
PAIN, DOES SCORING TO, LIKE, KILLING IN THE ROOM LOSE ANY
SPECIAL HIGH THEN? >> WELL THAT'S-- I MEAN... >> Stephen: WHAT I'M ASKING IS
DO YOU CARE IF THE AUDIENCE IS THERE AT ALL? WHAT I'M GETTING IS THIS IS A
PURELY MASTUREBATORY AFFAIR. >> MY SHIFT TO AN AUDIENCELESS
SHOW HAS BEEN EASIER THAN MOST. >> Stephen: IN MY MIND THESE
JOKES ARE KILLING. I'M JUST DESTROYING EVERYTHING! >> IN MY MIND, MY JOKES ARE
BOMBING. I ASSUME SILENCE, SO I'M NOT
SHOCKED WHEN IT COMES. >> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. WELL, JOHN, IS THERE ANYTHING
ELSE THAT'S ON YOUR MIND? IS THERE ANYTHING-- IS THERE
ANYTHING, PERHAPS, ABOUT YOUR EIGHTH SEASON COMING UP YOU'D
LIKE TO US KNOW ABOUT? EIGHT SEASONS OVER HOW MANY
YEARS? >> EIGHT. >> Stephen: OKAY. THAT WORKS OUT. >> EIGHT. >> Stephen: BUT YOU KNOW THESE
DAYS, WE'RE ON, LIKE, SEASON 27 OF "BACHELORETTE" AND IT'S BEEN
ON FOUR YEARS. IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING ANY
MORE. >> WE REALLY STICK TO THE ONE
SEASON, ONE YEAR PROCESS. >> Stephen: GOOD FOR YOU. >> IT'S SO MUCH EASIER THAT WAY
FOR MOMENTS LIKE THIS. >> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WOULD LIKE PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR UPCOMING SEASON? >> JUST, IT'S ON AGAIN. IF YOU LIKED THE SHOW
PREVIOUSLY, I HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY IT. IF YOU REALLY HATED IT,
HONESTLY, I WOULDN'T GIVE IT A SECOND CHANCE. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> Stephen: NO RESAMPLING. >> YOU'VE MADE YOUR DECISION. THAT'S FAIR. COMEDY IS SUBJECTIVE. I DON'T THINK IT'S MATERIALLY
CHANGED ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LIKE SOMETHING THAT YOU PREVIOUSLY
DID SPIESED. SO I'D GIVE IT A MISS. >> Stephen: I DISAGREE. I THINK NO MATTER WHAT, GIVEN
ANOTHER CHANCE AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S A GREAT WAY FOR PEOPLE TO
SAMPLE PARAMOUNT-PLUS. IT WOULD BE A GREAT WAY FOR
PEOPLE TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN. WELL, JOHN, A PLEASURE AS
ALWAYS. I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE TO GO. MARK IS MAKING-- MARK IS
ACTUALLY SHAKING HIS HEAD SAYING "DO WHATEVER YOU WANT." I'M THE ONE PRETENDING IT'S TIME
TO GO. ALWAYS A DELIGHT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR
ANOTHER 24 MINUTES OR WHATEVER THIS WAS. WHATEVER. YOU GOT NOTHING TO DO. COME ON. >> ALL I'LL SAY IS I JUST WANT
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR EDITORS, AND GODSPEED. >> Stephen: THANK YOU. SEASON EIGHT OF "LAST WEEK
TONIGHT" STARTS THIS SUNDAY ON HBO. JOHN OLIVER, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY INGRID ANDRESS. GOOD-BYE, JOHN OLIVER. ♪ ♪ ♪
Paramount Plus???
Did anyone else catch that?
Yes. There were a few pretty good Superbowl ads on that. Haven't looked in to how it's different from CBS all access.