Jim Gaffigan, Fellow Korean | TigerBelly 331

it's just it's low brow talk okay right how's your dick doing right that type yeah of talk you know and i'm pretty sure it's healthy it's worked in the past i know i know it has a house is a lot of is it there's things always breaking right like we rented a house and there's always [ __ ] to deal with with a house yeah yeah whereas i feel like an apartment if things don't break as much or they don't the downside to having an apartment though is one tenant has a roach problem everyone has yes that's true yeah that's what guy whenever the guy died people died too and then oh one person has a fire everyone has a fire yeah that's probably worse than the the cockroach i worked i lived in i lived in an apartment building and a guy died in the building and no one wanted to uh we were like telling the super we're like something smells bad and he was like this he's like look it's fine all right probably a rat died in the wall settled down used to people be in new york they could handle this stuff then they found out it was like a guy had died and his body was decaying oh and that's why it smelled yeah and not inside the walls and not it was he was sitting in a chair like just like i murdered him he was sitting in a chair and he died watching tv he had done like coke and had a heart attack was he come did he look comfortable i don't know i didn't see i just it gets sad when when the when they don't get discovered for months when they don't have family that's always the sad part well supposedly his parents came to town at because they couldn't reach him he was a student at nyu oh was he asian i don't know i don't you're asian correct i am yeah well i'm mostly asian mostly asian you're 60 well i'm like you know like mongolian kind of like blurs into like everyone eastern you know like you're like you look at russians and you're like right you kind of look a little asian that's what like york like bjork yeah yeah bjork has that vibe like is she asian is she bjork yeah she's from iceland yeah yeah but she has a asian ivanka kazakhstan it all sort of it all bleeds together they all bleed together correct i had i had my hair cut in new york by the gym tells the most boring i had my hair cut by a woman who was uh of korean nationality but her family was from saint petersburg we have legs well let's start the podcast right five four three two [Music] can [Music] dear heavenly father thank you so much for this blessed day that you have given us um we have in this is first of all happy new year everybody this is our first podcast in 2023 and um happy um um new year to all of you you're filming excuse me the first one we're filming this is the first podcast we're filming in 2023 20 and i want to welcome you guys and we always open up every year with a a special you mean a chosen one okay so i'm going to give an intro and i hope you like it all right i'm excited okay this next man on our podcast is one chromosome away from being albino that's true okay that's true yes um him and james van der beek are having some sort of baby making competition um that's i mean i i mean i haven't slept with him yet but yeah i i keep telling him that doing it in the butt there's not gonna he's like no trust me and i'm like yeah all right fine he's like i'm dutch you're kind of northern european let's do it and i'm like all right so yeah yeah he's also and i i don't know how you're like with compliments but and i i really i really do mean this i i honestly think you're one of the best comics on planet earth oh my gosh that number one fantastic no it's real real number one number two right i also i've always been memorized mesmerized by you i always memorize you but because you're you're a great joke writer but you're also very clean and i've we've just been in awe of you and um i want to give him a deep round of applause jim gaff again everybody hi gosh wow oh my god amazing thank you so much welcome well thank you for having me here we have the same body type we do yeah which is what which is um uh fat um we both uh score out of our our depths my wife's very attractive yes you i don't know how you pulled this it's a [ __ ] miracle right i mean it is a miracle but and then i don't know about your relationship but there's there's moments where my wife is like she knows she made a mistake she's like yeah oh [ __ ] yeah you know like maybe funny's not that important right also we when you get into a relationship you put out your best self right yes but as years go by you just go [ __ ] it and i'm just gonna give them everything right and that's i guess essentially what love is no i don't know i think it's all a con but it worked yeah yeah well it is i mean i guess i guess you know there's there's like love you get together there's this torturous period which is like 30 40 years and then you die and like in those five minutes you're like i love you and that's the good thing wow thanks for that that's the whole gambit right there right thanks for changing my diaper yeah yeah right i don't know it's hard it's a rough road we have problems we've been together nine years sexually yeah we're going there okay yeah yeah yeah let's go wait a minute he's just given up well he let his dick die you let your dick die it didn't die on its own i think he killed it i think i punched my dick till it died what the [ __ ] are you talking about strangled it you know it's just i've never done viagra have you done viagra it doesn't work for me it doesn't no i took three once yeah and my my penis went in my body that's what happened oh you [ __ ] yourself i [ __ ] myself and i go this is the best it's not even like a hard on that lasts for too long you can't go to a hospital you have to go somewhere else but it doesn't work it doesn't no because um [Music] you had a crippling porn addiction i have a crippling for a very long time that's a problem why don't you just take a break for a month because i have internet and it's always there late at night later that's interesting i think that whispers to me what does it say that's not that rare right right you guys you guys don't have kids right we don't no we have seven animals though seven animals it's hard to do porn when you have kids around it's so you can't but you do it on the road no not i mean here not as much as i used to yeah like in my 30s i think i wasted a lot of time doing that but you know i know i look like i'm a young 27 year old i kind of um there is i'm glad my libido has gone down yeah no no not in that way don't look at me that no no well it's it's hard to separate it from the relationship but the thing is is like men when they're like when you were when you were 17 like when god it's like i was a [ __ ] machine it was i was when you're 17 it is it's like you well it's like every other cliche it's just like this fever that like i don't know how anyone got anything done i know right you know what i mean yeah it's like it's amazing that well of course i i wasn't successful with the ladies then you know what i mean yeah yeah but so like there is a certain like oh all right i can read an article do you remember a time when you were unfuckable and then something shifted because that's what happened to me like i couldn't get laid ever i would like even as an open micro i couldn't do it right they just would see through me right well i think it's a confidence thing too right you think i mean i don't know i'm i'll just for me it's like i would say in my early 30s i started having confidence in my stand-up and then i started doing well and stand up and i think that translated to confidence around women like i used to be very like i just it was it was brutal like being nervous around someone you liked is brutal and and so then i um but then i like dated some models i was like i'm gonna date a mock and i dated a model and i was like wait a minute i don't even you know my wife's very attractive but it's like that's not as important so like that that was my experience but like yeah there was there was also definitely a time where before a show uh you know how uh women would treat me was different than how they treated me after the show now i'm kind of like a dad so it doesn't matter right like but there was a time where it was uh you know where it was like almost pre impressive but there's also some confusion of like do they like my comedy or are they attracted to me i went through a period with i think they like me no they just think i'm funny yeah but it gets bundled up all the emotions right it's hard to like you know mean but it's like but they look at you different that's what i saw yeah because i used to go to walk into a bar and i couldn't get anyone to look at me right and then as soon as when you do stand up and you'd have a good set and you go out in the lobby and as a young guy when you don't get girls and you're you know me you have low self-esteem and when it first happens and when a girl goes i i think you're so funny and there's something about you it just it just it it changed me yes it changed me yeah and it made me um it each it helped each other right i i got funnier as a stand-up and i got more girls and they fed each other and then eventually i'm who i am now yeah you know but how are you are you done with the kids though yeah i mean our oldest is nine i mean our youngest is nine um so yeah no that's a lot of work that's a lot how many do you have five oh i know yeah it's a that's a that's that's a lot that's worked a lot but how many how many you guys have siblings yeah i have two sisters two sisters but my mom comes from a family she had ten brothers and sisters yeah so it's so i mean five you're not even here in the correct oh she was oh yeah i was one of six so it's like but as do you think that that's what because you grew up in what indiana yeah yeah do you believe i [ __ ] i [ __ ] remember that that's pretty amazing that's [ __ ] good what a lot of people don't know most people in indiana asian it's all over really because when i went there i didn't see any where do they go where did they go it was all asian it was kind of like people were like are you are we is this indiana or hawaii it was like very asian um did you get the vid at all what's that covet i i you know they i tested before i came in here and they're like you have covet and i was like forget it that's what happened today yeah it was like an hour ago yeah but like if the guy was like a doctor he believed in science no i i have i don't know because i no i i do know that i'm negative i do know that i'm negative i did rogan's podcast on monday i they test you before you go in and then and so i tested negative and then they were like and of course before netflix even flew me out they gave me a test and so and i was negative and so but when i was at rogan they're like somebody else in his empire you know he has like 5 000 employees came in and uh joe was like i want you to do an anti-body test and so i was like yeah i'll do that and so it revealed that i had had it at some point but that i got over it because i have such a large penis wow so that's what i i want that to sound like a brag yeah so what you're saying i could uh i mean at this point you think i could have vaccinated yeah you could have been asymptomatic especially with the way you move around town i'm surprised what do you mean honestly is he like the face to the ground or how does he move on no not licking everything he's screwed across the way you're licking every person she worries because i go to the korean spa every day like i'm gonna go tonight yeah and it's like it's just naked old korean men breathing on each other we breathe on each other right it's a culture is that all that happens we suck each other's necks as well there we go but um no we breathe on each other but she thinks that um i'm just not being safe i probably isn't the best place to go um it's fine it's maybe just the time it's a time but you're fine i don't want to talk about it well it's as uh so i feel like i'm running a therapy session so women so you're korean american you are is there is there some kind of status thing within the asian community like foaming at the map nationality are you what can you guess from well i don't know the shirt i'd say hawaiian same as her but like not as before so wealthy filipinos yeah yeah no but so like there is i know that the koreans like the history you know i did a special about asia did you really i did shows around asia so i was like i was in seoul for like a day but um so like there is that there's the hierarchy right so like the the koreans think they're better than the japanese my dad gave me a list of uh the best ethnicities what are the worst numbers who's gonna pass my dad my dad goes number one korean yeah it's obvious number two chinese which obvious third was snake so yeah so there were animals and stuff like put in there right black people weren't even on the list you know i mean so yeah my parents were my dad was very like he would stand up and go well that's uh that's a very korean thing right they're very protective of their culture yeah and they'd be like if you marry in japanese i kill myself like really like even worse is probably filipino then what further because koreans really look down on filipinos well the japanese tortured the koreans yes historically great nation though you know they do great i mean it's so neat and some of the stuff they do it's like it's i don't love it i don't know well they told me how they fit into that godzilla philippines too yeah yeah well what do you what do you think about is it the university of washington or washington state that doesn't recognize asians as pocs anymore you're right you're you're you're on the same planet yield as white people there are so many articles about that where it's like asians are white adjacent and we're no longer minorities because well can i honestly say we don't accept you um no but the thing is is i you know i don't know i'm a white guy i'm not going to say anything but like no we want you to you know i have by the way white people on the show so we want to hear your point and so when i when i did that that tour i have a close friend of who she was born in taiwan and when i did a show in taipei she was there and she was she's friends of the family and everything and i've known her from college but like she again i'm older so like she's beautiful she's an amazing person and in college it was kind of like guys are like i don't know i you know i'd hook up with her i don't know if i'd date her yeah so like there was that [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah i think it's disappearing yeah but there was some of that [ __ ] yeah i don't know is that the point that we're trying to make yeah i don't know but it just sure makes you sound like a slaveholder i don't know about this no but she was you know she moved from taiwan to like louisiana and she would tell horror stories like guy's just like i want to just touch your eyes oh wow oh my god yeah i mean it's hot that's all wait what what gilbert said that's hot do you think that's hot a bunch of [Music] you guys i love ufc i love sporting and i love sport me and kalyala this year we're be we're beginning to do you know light sporting sport betting just for fun you mean nothing too crazy and our place to go is fan duel also there's no better place to bet the nfl playoffs than on america's number one sports book it's a simple and easy to use app with generous promotions every day it's safe and secure with best in-class customer service each win means that much more in the nfl playoffs that's why fanduel sportsbook is hooking up new customers up with 30 to 1 enhanced odds for the divisional playoffs wow for example you bet five dollars to win 150 on any team to win any divisional playoff game just sign up for fanduel sportsbook and make a deposit to claim your 30-1 enhanced audience like kaleidos said it's safe and secure with 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shipping get 20 off and free shipping at manscape.com tiger belly that's 20 off and free shipping at manscape.com tiger belly join cupid and shoot your era with manscape this valentine's day yeah so why don't we go to the philippines well didn't it doesn't ally like i don't even know what is jungle asian what is that filipino that's south east asia southeast asia yeah yeah but it's in southeast asia isn't that indian south asia south india that's south right south right southeast asia is indonesia philippines thailand cambodia laos vietnam so all the attractive people yeah yeah but i i but growing up i hated my parents because they were so [ __ ] racist that my brother and i because we were so progressive i don't know who taught us that you just kind of are born and it's an american story it really is though right and my brother and i would be like no i mean because they would say like if you're gay i kill you no you're joking no i'm not kidding really he would look at me right now you're gay i'll kill you but what happened when you told him you had been with men then all right come on okay well doesn't even need to know that jimmy i don't know okay all right well first of all it's not like i sucked a guy's dick and went home guess what dad you know what i mean i didn't get straight a's but it's like the dick i mean you announced that to your dad so when i was in high school and people know this all right i would get drunk and every once in a while i would suck a man's pee pee okay okay and it was because i was highly sexual women didn't like me okay and i went you know what i'm gonna get what i can get and it sounds so desperate and sad but that does that sound sad it sounds like a teenager yeah yeah yeah that's i was a teenager right and um so that's that you know yeah i'm not shaming you i think it's great i love that about you you do yeah it's so interesting so this is a good doctor i i i i unfortunately we have to end this um i have next tuesday at four no no you're [ __ ] finishing um what is the god it's so fascinating why just how human beings like we never figure this [ __ ] out yeah and you know like you know like we talk about like what we were the culture that we were raised in and there's progress but like then i have teenagers and they're kind of like you guys are idiots dear i mean like it keeps moving you know i mean so like we we tear apart some of the biases that we were told or whatever and then we discover new ones yeah so it's like i'd like to think i'm a good dad but i'm probably you know in 20 years my kids are gonna be like yeah my dad was like this jim i i wan watch i follow you on instagram and on socials and i don't know you at all but i want to say this based on your socials i believe that you're a great dad i look like a good one you know you do cooking shows with your kids that was because of the pandemic it doesn't matter yeah right you think any other comic incorporates their [ __ ] families into like social media they don't do that right you're a good dad hopefully well we'll see and i see your kids and they look healthy jim do you know how to cook rice oh good question that's such an interesting very good question um i don't ask that but my cooking show was rice that's how it's measured i've got a funny story so we had so i have all these kids and one time we um we have babysitters and we went to florida to disney world and i was doing shows and so we brought our babysitter and she's from the philippines and we were at the airport and we were they were weighing our bags we were checking them in and her bag was like 80 pounds yes yeah and i was like uh why is it 80 pounds i'm like well just take whatever you got in there and put it in this bag can i guess yeah saxo rice and cans of spam yes well not spam but she had i think it was a 50 pound bag of rice and i was like i was like we're gonna we're gonna feed you yeah yeah and she was like i just you know it's just like just a case yeah i mean no and i totally understand that because when i go on the road with my family we bring like let's say we're going to joshua tree and my mom goes into a panic because she's like i don't think they have rice there or the kind of white sticky rice that i like so what do we do we bring the rice cooker and we bring her calories i've never been to a city where they didn't have [ __ ] rice i know but the thing is it was by the way it's like it was sincere it wasn't like she was like you know i gotta bring some [ __ ] rice like but i think it was like it was a sincere thing like you know i don't know i'm all right i'm not gonna have it yeah it's like it's like a water insecurity because rice has eaten breakfast lunch and dinner right yeah it's you cannot have a meal without rice okay why do you talk to me like i'm not asian i do the [ __ ] same thing yeah i know you don't know how to cook rice i know but yes i do oh those one cup don't you i taught you one cup of rice one cup of [ __ ] watermelon how did you learn that what when did you learn that yesterday from who from who you look men are dumb right we're dumb we're very dumb yeah and there's certain things where i'm just like by the way when i was i didn't own a coffee maker until i was 30 because i thought they cost hundreds of dollars and people were like why don't you just get a coffee maker i'm like i don't want to waste some money on they're like it's 20 bucks yeah yeah i'm like really so i'm i don't know how your ratio was off with the rice by the way what do you mean a little bit more water different kinds of rice um um need different amounts of water so the one that you were cooking yesterday it's a little bit over one cup of water you got it wrong you're a poor student that's okay bobby how how um if you don't mind me asking your age this is a fun game yes will you guess well first of all i will guess i will guess your age and then i will add a year because in korea yes yes right yes right so will you tell the people what that is so what that is is in korea they when a baby is conceived the first year is when uh the baby's growing inside right yes also the first when the baby is born the baby never leaves the house for how long i think an extent 25 years no and then like the baby is always on the ground like there's no cribs yeah it's like it's i think when you're born nine months old is that what yes yeah and then you have your 100 day celebration yeah yeah um [Music] is it in i don't know if it's korean but like they might not in some cultures they don't name the baby until that first year oh yeah yeah do you have a mongol do you know about our mongolian marks no koreans asians have mongolian marks what is that it's so like genghis khan it's like a branding when you're born genghis khan brands you with no it's a tale it's no it's basically a purple spot somewhere on our bodies right and it's there it fades over time yeah right there really yeah but imagine jim having one of those with his it would be like a tattoo it would be pretty it would be beautiful i think yeah but we have that and so wow wait not anymore it's faded since it's only staged is it is it it's like a birthmark oh yeah it's right here here it's right here it's right here it's a tattoo oh yeah i think it's like star the star of david i don't see anything he's just showing you his ass you're like we what we do is we bring these dumb white [ __ ] in here and we make up [ __ ] we open our butthole up a slide of asian people with birthmarks these dumb white people believe anything they're like oh i want to be liberal i want to be progressive no that's so fascinating yeah we have those things man and it's like i don't know why did we get bruised in there i don't know it's just the same way jewish people have to test for tay sachs disease so you do you know who joe wong is hello jo wong is is a chinese comedian from china i think he might be living here now but he is also he's ethnically korean because on top of the korean peninsula you know where china is there's people that are ethnically korean and he's a great comedian i love him very funny yeah i venom yeah at the comedy story he's super nice very funny super nice super and he i he opened for me when i performed in uh beijing oh he did yeah because he's he did school in the u.s then he went over and i don't know what's going on do you get scared when you're in china is it expats that go under the show or are there it's all well or or people that have done time internationally like when i performed in japan there were definitely people that were had uh japanese people that had you know studied in the uk or america yeah yeah yeah did you go to the philippines at all i haven't yet i wanted i think you would crush it there i can arrange that my friends do the big shows there they do like this hotel yeah chappelle was just there um before the pandemic so they do cause his wife's from the philippines well the philippines is an english-speaking country right right so compared to other asian countries it's just an easy market and it's a missed market because it's like people are so hungry for that there if we do our talent show he would be a great judge [Laughter] what a fish out of water yeah we do a talent show in the philippines you do yeah we do a lot how often do you guys go there we go a lot so we do a local talent show where we put on the paper we go bobby lee's talent show right and the whole city small town no it's a small tiny provincial area not the whole not my whole whole village is that is it in uh how close is it to manila um it's about uh and 50-minute flight south where i live you'd have to swim there the different islands is it one of the is because there's also islands in the philippines that are muslim is it one of them also most of the south is muslim yeah aren't i smarter than you'd think have you been have you been going on the road or no i did um uh like september to december i'm kind of taking january off but yeah some you haven't i just yesterday i cancelled all my gigs mr gaffigan i don't know what the [ __ ] you do the necessity of invention creates things right so you might like that panic by the way the panic that you're experiencing right now is i feel so wise it's like that panic could also you know force you to come up with some beautiful ideas right but you think i could do that in two days probably not yeah but exactly you can come up with some yeah but you can't do some old material or no he's also nursing a massive oral abscess at the moment wow i have a um so there's that i have a golf ball of an infection in my gums right now wow and i went to the to get a root canal and they said we they can't do it this morning well then you can't do that yeah yeah okay so it hurt all right so i canceled i don't why do i get on my knees i know it was for a long time it was it was very theatrical but i feel like that's kind of you that you kind of move a little bit when you i love it yeah yeah oh can i say so also one last thing to you is um this is the last thing i also think and and don't take this the wrong way i think that you're a great actor oh well thank you yeah and i've always thought to myself because i've seen you in some things do you prefer one or the other i mean because i i i do some acting too i love actually i love it too i love it so much because it's so hard it's so hard but like as you know it it's weird because obviously we like being funny but i love all kinds of acting yeah you know and so there is something of kind of being pigeonholed as the funny actor so i do appreciate that but it is it's not one that i pref it's not that i prefer one over the other i feel like they're so different they're different mediums and they're different highs yeah you know they're completely different highs and when like when the first time i acted it was a comedy and i didn't get any laughs because i didn't know right obviously you can't no one can laugh right yeah and in video village you know people kind of they laugh there but when i did my first scene i thought oh my god i'm terrible because they're not laughing but i realize that like they're listening and um when i can get a difficult scene down there's a feeling of it like oh my god i did something that was so hard and also you can become someone else that's what's really fun or a different version of yourself i like being a fat chinese guy or liking a japanese fat chinese guy or a gal a guy like being i've played a lot of women in my life you know i mean i like how you look around like anyone else [Music] form by helix i just created that jingle because i create jingles for companies i love and all form i'm gonna say something like the couch that we have right here is an all-form couch okay and i'm gonna tell you that we have many couches in this house i come here this last week and i laid on that couch i'm like every single day to take a nap i love that couch 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first month of ed treatment if prescribed make sure you're ready to have confidence and control this fall roman ready [Music] do you guys remember the time you first met each other no i don't i do uh oh what's that when was it so the only time i've ever met you was i took a photo it was two years ago three years ago before the pandemic was it at the comedy store it was at the comedy store it was the main room i was with brad williams okay and yeah we were there and we took a photo and i remember being so nervous because i've never talked to you before jim now we're best friends now we're best friends now and also it's like now when i go to the club i can just be more comfortable around you you know what's so interesting is you like to think of yourself i mean like i did uh cheetos santino's uh as andrew centino i did his podcast and he texted me later and he goes i thought you didn't like me but now i know you love me and it's weird like do i give off a vibe where i'm not like warm and friendly is that it yes i do yes um no i don't know i'm gonna make an argument you think everyone hates you that's not what it is i think you come off real sweet and warm no that's what exactly that's not what i'm saying jim gaffigan is a sweet lovely peaceful man okay what i'm saying is that because i don't see him ever right and then all of a sudden you walk into a green room and then there's jim gaff again right and you kind of go oh how cool you're a comic you're a part of it you know but it's like it's that more that than you oh right right it's more you know you're not i don't see me tearing down those stop asian hate signs i know we didn't see that no no i mean no one don't bring it up yeah but i also know this that like when you were at the comedy cellar back in the day yeah um and you were having your children and the way you would do your sets and have these kids at the same time and the way you were juggling all of that oh yeah i mean i heard from comics from new york that would talk about it that you were just like always going up but had this young family and how did you juggle all that you know it was it was a great uh break from the chaos but it was i don't know you hadn't made it had you made it at that point befo did you have kids before you made it i did not i had one kid and one on the way when i was taping beyond the pill which was my first comedy special oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so um but when my daughter my first daughter was born uh i was definitely uh there was no guarantees you know that i mean i think i knew i wasn't i could support a child but i didn't think that i didn't contemplate having five or yeah you know living in this nice house with you yeah but the reason why i'm asking jim is because i have a fear as a comic yeah that like i'm 50 now and i look at someone like you and you have an al magical is another one with kids and other comics and i and i think to myself can i do it am i because i go my job we we're children yeah right we play and we [ __ ] around and we're free in that way and it's like i'm just afraid that i'm not gonna be able to do it as a dad as a dad i think you underestimate yourself i think that anyone because think about it this there's a lot of funny people but like to pull it together and do a set and also you know what your podcast here is successful it's like you're playing and you're doing it and i i i don't know i feel like the whole parenting thing it's it's look it's really hard but it's also important for evolving like look we know comedians that you guys are in a relationship for nine years we know people that like can't pull off a month so it's like yeah you definitely can do it yeah yeah i mean and also it's like the universe is kind of like you know like opportunities show you're not going to be broke you know what i mean yeah yeah it's like there's people that did it in much harder circumstances yeah yeah yeah i don't think that my fears of it can i financially do it i think i i think i worry about because i have weird things where it's like you don't know this about me but i'm very unhygienic i smoke right yeah i wake up at 4 pm yeah you know i mean i have i've never i haven't changed since i was a young guy as a standard right you know i mean and it's like i know i have to change those things if i want children but i really want them well then you then have them it's not that hard it's and by the way it's like fear this fear you don't have to grow the baby you know what i mean i do do you remember yeah i'm so glad you're bringing this up because now you're telling everybody the truth that the hold up has never been me that the hold up has always been you well dr gavigan crushing it sorry jeff he's walking out he's walking out bobby get back here bobby bobby you're right you're a door slam baby you're right the fear has always been mean there is never the right time to do it there isn't there's never the right time yeah it's like oh i'm 20. i don't have i don't even have a serious job or oh um you know she's about to do this or that or you're doing it's like it's never the right time but and by the way the world's on fire it's like it's not the right time but it's it's it's like a piece of life that is and i'm not saying everyone has to do it yeah but i do think that like it'll you know like you'll meet the task i think so i think it'll change me yeah you don't have kids just so i'm not gonna do it to change me i wouldn't do it to change me it's kind of like a you know an exercise thing this kid's gonna make me lose weight i had a kid so i get in shape yeah yeah i mean yeah maybe you know you know i think maybe maybe i think you named the baby jim jim's a great that's a great name a great name you know i mean yeah is jim a short for some other name you know like james james oh james lee yeah james lee are your kids at comics or no i have a 16 year old son that's pretty funny yeah i could tell and that's how scary that's it's pretty but like i've the weird thing is is like again this goes along with what we were saying it's like it's one thing to be really funny it's another thing to embrace that level of insanity to pursue it yeah because i have brothers that are funny it's just like like you have to be a little bit off to be like yeah i know i'm not making money for six years or you know and the audience only laughs every third time i do it but i'm gonna continue doing it that's weird so i don't know if he's gonna do it he he's funny i mean my daughters are very funny too they're all funny but like it's about do you want to go through it yeah it's the pit because you're going to have to as a dad right and your comics you know what it is the first five or six seven years of them struggling right and you're gonna have to hear all the pain and suffering that you relate to right it's it's hard what if one of your children or your future child is terminally unfunny and you know it and you're like [ __ ] my kid is so unfunny but then he says dad i want to be a comic and i love you that's a good one that's a good thing that's a hard but of all five children the least funny one oh jeez well mitzi said you can't support it's a sin to support mediocrity right and so it's also a sin to crush dreams and we also we all know people that are not super funny off stage but can pull it off yeah you know my theory i have a theory and i don't know if you'll agree with me i think that anybody who tries it you could take them 20 30 years but i think everyone could develop some set do you think people like george oh no him he tried it jim yeah he tried it yeah i almost quit that irvine when i saw him before i go i quit that i don't ever want to see that again that would try to work burn the microphone but you know what here's what it is dude you tried she did it 19 how many times 19 times did your wife do it you did 19. yeah my wife did a little bit she more did more sketch oh more sketch yeah yeah yeah we glom onto each other baby yeah we do god dear god show doctor jeff kiss [Laughter] she's looking at you like i'm not contracted [Laughter] i'm contracted to pretend to be your girlfriend there's no physical interaction involved yeah yeah yeah that felt weird yeah come on babe that's all weird that hurt me no why are you sweating so much because i put the ac on no because i put the heat on all summer i mean winter because i played video games down here right and that's why i'm sweating okay we have a guest don't do this okay just making sure you're not stroking out or anything no i want to talk about something important okay sorry were you friends with bob i was i mean everyone was right everyone loved him i haven't we haven't talked about it obviously the first one and i i want to talk about a little bit yeah um number one and i mean this from the bottom of my heart one of a mensch one of the nicest guys i literally have ever met in this business because you meet [ __ ] faces in this business and when i was a young still a piece of your dignity they steal material they're they're [ __ ] they strap you in the back you know i mean but bob is not that when i was a doorman at a comedy club he would talk to you and go what's up man remember your name and he was just a great guy and what happened sunday was so shocking i'm still not over it yeah i'm in a daze i love that guy yeah it's really he's one of those guys that you [Music] it reminds me of like when i was in high school and there were like these upperclassmen that were like i want to be like that yeah it's like with bob the way he interacted with everyone and he was sincere and he must have been texting people for like two hours a day yeah because you always hear these all these stories yeah you know he was always checking in it's so it's he's you know what a positive influence yeah steve harvey just read an email that he didn't read from bob saget from like five six days ago and he was crying when he was reading it but it's like yeah he texted a lot he emailed a lot of he yeah he reached out to people he jamie kennedy he really helped that guy's career i mean he just it this it was it was just a real [ __ ] lie and it wasn't like he was helping or kind because he wanted something he was doing it because that's the decent thing to do yeah he wasn't kind of like hey do me a favor so i can do you you know it was just like hey i think you're funny i'd like to do something for you yeah yeah yeah and uh he also gave me aids [Laughter] did you really give me the help but here's what also the the last thing i want to say about it is because we don't know what happened with the autopsy we don't it takes 13 weeks or whatever right really oh yeah that's what they say right so there's no re because he was generally healthy and he was not uh he was not a party or he might have a drink but right he had a drink or two that's it he's not a cocaine guy i don't i don't want to you know i mean yeah well it's wrong to speculate i don't want to speculate i don't want to speculate but um it was a huge loss and um i'm just really sad about it that's all man it sucks man we all we lost some people in the last couple of years man in comedy it's [ __ ] do you ever know him brody yeah yeah i knew him in new york oh you did uh and he was because he bloomed into the brody we knew and like initially he was just kind of finding his way in new york i think he started in seattle and and um i remember i used to call him the murderer he would come in and be like oh my god the murderer's here and he loved it right yeah yeah and um but again he's like another light you know like there's these people that bring light rather than darkness and it's uh it's amazing yeah wow what a [ __ ] up couple years man it is weird also it's it's one of those things like when you're a kid and you hear your you remember hearing your parents talk about people dying you're like you know and now we're the same people and then they died too you know i mean we've turned into those people god bless them so you know what i mean yeah yeah weird yeah it's so weird i'm just so glad i'm not gonna die i don't think you are what a relief for you what's that 90 i think at least at least 90 for you man no how long do you think you got he's real emo about this stuff really yeah every night before we go to bed oh you're so you're kind of like uh my tooth hurts i'm gonna die no no yeah i mean i and he wakes up and we this is something i do that you don't know why i'm gonna reveal something every morning i spit in the in the um sink to see what my mucus looks like the color right when you cough it up and i cough it up and what what do you think the colors mean red is bad what if you had a red popsicle right before that that's true right that's time right sometimes no i think that like yeah no i've looked at my spit and i'm kind of like yeah it's it's dark yeah i mean it's not good but i have this really unhealthy fear of dying my poor niece she lives with us and she loves him every day what has she been doing she's been counting the amount of times he has coughing fits oh oh really coughing fits what is this mucus color spectrum black is good that's infection oh that's not good i love this chart because they were someone was like you know what let's go different shapes for different colors yeah and uh why don't we do a nickelodeon kind of vibe yeah oh like a game something neon you know something fun [Music] away fly away fly away you guys away listen i travel a lot i do too she does as often as i do but her and i are slick travelers and we're very um how do i say it elitists in in terms of no just listen in terms of the kind of things that we use we use great products right the suitcase is great and we use away suitcases in this whole family tell them about it i'm this is not a joke not a joke everyone in my family travels with an away suitcase they have a really really they have great options for colors my stepdad roger has a yellow one because he says i can spot my luggage really easily i know which one i'm picking off what do you call those the carousels i have two away ones one big one one big carry-on everyone has it here it has all the features you need to be a modern day traveler all of a way suitcases are designed to last a lifetime with durable exteriors that can withstand even the roughest baggage handlers which is this guy i mean this guy what should you do yeah tsa i don't know what you're doing but a tc approved combination lock that keeps all your belongings safe right and every suitcase comes with an interior organization system that includes a built-in compression pad to help you pack more in and in hidden and removable laundry bag what do you say how do you say that and a hidden laundry bag that separates your dirty clothes and i know you guys don't think that's a big deal that is such a big deal for me when i pack to go back home i need my stuff separated from dirty to clean go gilly start your 100-day trial and shop the entire way lineup of travel essentials including their best-selling suitcases at awaytravel.com belly fly away [Music] all right so at the end of our podcast jim we do an unhelpful advice people email us problems and we answer them you don't have to be helpful you can be negative but okay we'll just see how where this takes us correct go unhopeful advice with bobby kalila and jim gaffigan hey guys my name is gemma i'm a 27 year old woman from ireland since the pandemic hit my mental health has plummeted to the point where i thought about ending my life i find myself living in the past haunted by the person i used to be as a teenager i went through some tough times which affected my behavior i disconnected from reality lied constantly and was a drama queen to say the least i realize now that this was a coping mechanism but i can't stop the negative thoughts circling my brain about my past behavior my question is do you ever find yourself haunted by your past and if so how do you manage not letting those thoughts [ __ ] you ooh the past the past well i try not to punish myself over and over again for one mistake you know i've notorious for [ __ ] up in the past and then thinking about it for 30 years you know i mean and i i'm not i don't do that anymore it's an unhealthy you know um and i just feel bad for the kid maybe he needs medication she's 27 yeah 27. medication why i think ever i think it does it all gets easier like i think that like 27 is still that's still chaos time so it gets a lot easier like i have teenagers and i'm like look this sucks but like it gets a lot easier so it's i would say dr gaffigan would say put it in perspective obviously i would uh you know i mean i'm being korean a very christian country we um you know the concept of like you're not in charge of everything so you don't necessarily you're not don't give yourself this weight do you know what i mean whether you have to discover that through meditation or a faith system it's like you're not in charge and then i would also say you got to exercise you got to get out of your head yeah or you know um well like in aaa for instance right the root of aa is to help another person the whole reason why they say that is so that you can get out of yourself and stop thinking about yourself so that you can just be out of self you know i mean right it also i want to say this to this person what's her name they don't say gemma emma gemma gemma that in my 30s and 40s is if i were gonna say my highlight my twilight year my great years were those years my 20s were depressing and i was broke and i almost went [ __ ] this in my 30s and 40s when you start making money and you're you know i think 20s is hard because you have completed some kind of education you're kind of like an officially an adult you've had fun like i'm 21 i'm gonna party and all this but then you're like wait a minute uh you start realizing you don't know anything here i mean it's like i i think that there's um and you know look i am of irish descent there's a lot of mental illness on that island i would also say that by the way everyone everyone the pandemic everyone's [ __ ] from it like the you're like i don't think there's a single human that hasn't been like this has been a great two years it's been great for my parenting it's been great for my relationship yeah it's like we've all lost our [ __ ] yeah like like it's kind of like a cassette when they fast forward like that's we're just dealing with that over and over again so and if you would have freaked out once every four years you probably freaked out four times in the last year yeah right also shutting the mind down and keeping it like the meditation you just said is probably also a road also if you're thinking about ending your life coming from somebody who has attempted to do it multiple times in her younger years it took me a long time to get out of like my suicidal ideation especially in my early 20s somebody said something to me they were like what if things don't get better but what if they do and then what if they do really kept me in the game and i thought to myself you know what what if it does and guess what it did and then as i grew up and as i sort of like understood myself better as i started to understand that like a lot of what i was feeling was just really unresolved [ __ ] i wasn't willing to look at in the past or wasn't willing to deal with with a professional after just giving myself like honoring myself like the time and the space like you will get there in you know so what if it does what if it gets better and i think that's worth it enough to just like keep on living brilliant woman brilliant day today and by the way everyone i don't know what gemma has done like uh in the mistakes she's made but like people have like made a massive mistakes and then reinvented themselves well we're like bullies in high school and then they end up being good people you don't let other people define you you can reinvent yourself do you know what i mean it's like i wasn't always the sexy guy you know i have evolved i've been super sexy and now i'm just sexy no but you're i mean it's like it is weird but like i understand the feeling of being crippling being crippled kind of like it's weird because i also feel like stand-up was so liberating for my development i'm trying to figure out if you and i had a sex scene in a movie if i would think that you were sexy i would say no i feel like if you and i had a sex scene you and i would be laughing do you think we would laugh or we think this is horrible sex scene together it's like you bring it up kind of like i always ask people anyway and the other question i asked people was like if if we were [ __ ] each other yeah um but i just feel like we'd be giggling a lot and then kind of going like this is weird yeah right and just open your mouth you know don't do the tongue thing you know i mean we'd have to discuss what's allowed what's not allowed yeah there's like boundaries yes boundaries right but like i'm at the point where it's like i'd be like you know what we don't even have to let's just watch tv yeah yeah i'm kind of like let's order let's order delivery i'm much more at that point of my life so let's plug the netflix thing because um please [Laughter] good oh there you go oh when where'd you get this oh they're side by side oh you know i i look good there i think i look buff in a weird way well you don't look like that anymore sweetie that was like 15 years ago oh i don't know he doesn't look like that that's right i do i wish i did stand up yeah i used to by the way i used in high school i got voted best male body be real don't laugh that hard it's the only time she laughed all day no i was athletic are you you know what's weird you pause it pause it so they cut this out but i had camel toe and they cut it it was this it was this thing oh my god it was this thing that i put in watch pause pause pause it it was in this script it was in the script oh it is and um that [ __ ] camel toe right there dude wow is that your dick hole i'm about making that was that was uh the thing they made they put it over like a running shoe oh that's real that's a shot so it looks like that is so [ __ ] funny dude yeah no that's not me that's not you no [Laughter] anyway so when does it come out the netflix jim it's it's out thanks for watching it no sense 22nd december 21st 21st actually yeah can i can i say something why don't you tell me these things that's all right no no it's not all right you know why don't you know give me some informations all right so i could put on a good show what do you think but there is there is something about you can't expect another comedian to consume every special that comes out you know what i mean yeah so like there's a time you're like all right i'll watch specials i've never seen one really i've never seen one how many did you watch last year's zero i watched chappelle's new one yeah but the last the last 15 minutes i liked that what do you do you listen to a lot of old paul mooney is what you do i listened to a lot paul paul when he i don't know yeah another one did he ever hit on you no but he used to say that um he left him voicemail on my machine once and he goes i can't talk to you anymore because you you talk to the white devils really yeah like so if i'm hanging out with white people at the club and paul mooney was there i would literally back away from people because i didn't want he was like i'm being real that's how [ __ ] crazy he was no he was i mean talk about a brilliant mom you were brilliant brilliant one of my favorites but like it was so funny to see him like on stage he was like i the white devil all this stuff brilliant stuff yeah and then he would get off stage and he would be hitting on like a white guy and i'd be like [Laughter] wait a minute you're trying to [ __ ] the devil yeah but because you know that's not i mean it was his he was important to what he did for comedy i think oh yeah yeah really important yeah um well jim thank you i want to say number one please come back if you're ever in town yes if you ever need to promote anything please come to us consider us number two um uh i have to be admit i was a little nervous this last hour but you saw a little i was sweating this and that i think i got it together um but um i want to say that um you're one of the biggest people we've ever had on our podcast and thank you thank you so much for doing it well thanks for give him a round of applause jim gaffigan everybody thank you thank you thank you [Music] hey what's up uh people of tiger belly the [ __ ] kingdom the sleepers the super sleepers the papayas what other names do we have what does bobby call them disciples no i think though you hit all the big ones is that all of it that's all the main ones uh we first housekeeping in a long time first housekeeping a long time first housekeeping of 20 2022 uh great episode with jim gaffigan uh george 2022 uh you've been a father for a while now how does that feel anything easier anything more difficult any new surprises and what do you look forward to nine months now and oh well you could have made another one is there nope i'm waiting for it to get easier to try to convince my wife to have another one uh but also to convince myself too it's yeah it's a lot of work but right now this week he has started he's able to crawl to me and raise his hands to when he wants to get picked up oh that's like new this morning and there's so much wait you he does he did it more to your wife or you the pickup i i only notice it when it's me it's you it's also a favorite you're the favorite parent let's put that out there let's go she can't defend herself you're the favorite parent he cries more when she leaves but i'm the fiance i'll take it i'll take it um that's exciting is then what are the what are the i guess what are the data points say about this year for your child going into nine months to whatever to basically a year the big one that's gonna happen is uh walking so he can finally crawl now you better be there man and it'll be within a couple months he's so big for his size that i see kids that are like tiny compared to him he's like nine over he's off the charts for like head size and regular size there we go guys so i see tinier kids like just like sitting down like walking into daycare and i'm like how old is that kid 13 months dude proud dad already already uh [ __ ] on other kids to say my child is more superior and better than your child well he doesn't look at he looks like he's like he looks older so he look he looks like an old kid that can't uh can't walk yet we have a lot of cool guests lined up really a lot that we're really excited about and we're also planning to push for some more unique guests that maybe you would wouldn't expect to see uh in the tiger belly i guess podcast or universe look we'll just throw some wishful thinking out there we're trying to get some ufc champions in here israel adesagna if you're listening daniel cormier if you're listening you didn't respond to my dms uh bob mcclellan have demanded that you'd be on this podcast uh to laugh with us so respond to those dms uh who else some directors in here some of bobby's favorites i know george has been working on this and look we're gonna get him on here we are gonna get the director of django unchained on here it's going to happen it'll be close is tarantino going to be on tiger belly george are we close and let's let the people manifest it for us we're a lot closer now that we've put it out to uh to the fans but uh yeah it'll take some work it's gonna take some work uh a lot of merch coming me uh you guys really crushed him right now i just accidentally wore this one george's work what are we gonna bring these back oh funny that you said that george should we bring it back put it down in the comments below because uh this is the glue bottle hoodie is this the one that everybody got that's the one that we sold out of in uh one hour four years ago so i think it's true it's uh this one because i also have the zip up one that i was wearing this week oh i think what you're wearing actually is a that is a sample yeah this is the uh that's the before we got the zip so george is wearing an exclusive let's make these i like these actually i want the gray i mean it's a classic thing we have glue bottles on tables we have the giant glue bottle here if you're watching on youtube on the wall uh we got to bring back the glue bottle and uh speaking of glue bottles uh shout out to all our uh friends that owned the glue bottle uh nft that we released we actually released a secret 25 amount uh 25 minted entities of that actual art and uh we actually gave fans and mailed them an actual glue bottle from here the studio that bobby lee this love king himself signed and that was at legacy.shop tiger belly uh bobby will be going on tour at a point in time that's all i can say he'll be going on tour at a point in time uh kalala's still running a running the gamut with uh those ladies over at trash tuesday so make sure you go hop on over there you can see george in this seat actually actually i don't know is it different i don't know did we people know about what happened new set new set guys kind of new set new year new location uh the ladies have upgraded make sure you go follow them go watch your show trash tuesday i haven't checked the comments to see if people actually noticed yeah people must have noticed there's got to be some white shots yeah they're probably like where's the tiger belly sign is not there anymore um so this studio is now ours uh me and george are actually gonna do some fun things to the studio uh make it a little better and i guess what oh keep sending your fan art to uh the p.o box uh which is on our instagram i don't know on top of my head i do check that from time to time and if you do some some heart guess what it might end up in these walls because now we have more room to put stuff uh it might just be somewhere here so send your stuff in uh guys i think that's all we have for housekeeping uh you follow george add george underscore and guess what you guys got to get them more than andres right we gotta have more than andres why do we why'd we throw this at the end uh you can follow us uh any cdc updates at gilbert's uh follow bobby bobby live claudella clambykay follow tiger valley if you haven't followed tiger blind you're listening to this that's ridiculous uh follow us on instagram that's where most of our updates come from we are also posting on twitter so that's at the time at the tiger belly also you can email us any unhelpful advice questions at advice on helpful gmail.com uh am i missing anything uh subscribe on youtube if you haven't yet if you haven't subscribed on youtube what are you doing and make sure you listen to us on apple on itunes spotify any of your favorite podcast ads we love you so much here's the outro music that i've inserted it's getting louder it's getting louder we love you adios [Music] you

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 444,576

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, stand up, bad friends, comedy podcast, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, trash tuesday, flagrant 2, chrissy chaos, h3, bad friends podcast, bad friends clips, jim gaffigan, comedy monster, netflix special, comedy special, comedy central, bertcast, jimmy kimmel, whiskey ginger, bill burr, monday morning podcast, stand up comedy, h3 podcast, 2 bears 1 cave, comedy, interview, andrew santino

Id: eQh80kxRcZg

Length: 77min 11sec (4631 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 20 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/thesamebs]

You think Bobby actually goes to the Korean spa that often?

[u/OnyxValentine]

I never thought I’d be attracted to Jim Gaffigan…go figure 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/bluecornholio]

Ok Gilbert saying “that’d be hot” then having to explain why it’d be hot, in his head, had me dyinggg.

[u/krazyboi]

WHOA ARE THEY FOR REAL SHE SAID THEY DON'T HAVE A BABY CUZ OF BOBBY NOT CUZ OF HER.

Wow that changes everything. Also she didn't say it outloud this whole time even when all these guys tell her to have his baby.

[u/soaringbrain]

Im legit worried about Bobby., that abscess, the bad hygene.. this WILL wear on Lix.. Bobby, get it together my man!

[u/clingklop]

2022 housekeeping at the end. Some stuff:

George's baby looks older. Gilbo wants more unique guests. UFC champions specifically. Also, it was floated to get some of Bobby's favorite directors, specifically George said it will take "some work" on getting Tarantino. Merch stuff. Bobby "will be going on a tour at a point in time". Also, shout out to the cool new outro.

[u/Astral_Mensch]

I hate when I scroll all the way down to the dark recess es of threads, and the spicy comments are [deleted].

What the hell, man?

You can try to piece together the controversy by reading the replies to [deleted], but it’s not the same as reading the hot takes.

As a wise man once said, “If you’ve got hate in your heart, let it out!”

[u/boywonder5691]

Beyond The Pale is one of my favorite specials