Jerry Seinfeld standup (Merv Griffin Show 1981)

a young comedian who was always a hit on this show he appears regularly in Southern California at the comedy and the magic Club in Hermosa Beach and of course Benson here's Jerry Seinfeld Jerry hi hey nice to see you here tonight nice to be here boy I like to always talk about different things about individuals see every person has something it's a little bit different about then I guess that's quantum what the the height reporters have been I'm left handed to me that was always like a special thing is anybody left-handed they're here they have trouble clapping that's all right how does one obtain you put down for being left-handed you know it's always left Oh left words are always negative things left overs they're terrible two left feet left-handed compliment you ever see a crook named righty you never see that everything right is a positive thing right on the Bill of Rights you go to a party there's nobody there would everybody go they left but I feel good you're something a checking account of a new bank banks want you to feel that they're concerned about you too about your special interest but they're not banks you're not concerned you call up a bank call up a big company they always put you on hold with that little music playing you ever get that music and they figure he's got the music we can leave him on there already once left me on there 20 minutes by the time she came back I couldn't even remember what I wanted she's just gonna help you please I said yeah I'd like to hear the rest of that Johnny Mathis album you got me into it let's see on the other side they gave me checks with the seams on the back to ever get those checks little pictures on the checks people golfing skiing I'm right now checks sweating it out they're having a great time all right now checks I'm not having a great time I'd like to see bums and dead people anything well least I got a couple of bucks you're doing better than this poor slob anyway but boy I'll tell ya I was a summer is coming and I'm so excited about summer cuz you know it always means the rides they used to go on the merry-go-round and the bumper cars that was always my favorite ride remember the bumper cars you do basically dodge em kind of a stupid name for the bumper cars dodgems the last thing you want to do thankfully a shooting gallery miss him there's always that one guy in the bumper cars I could never do it remember that one guy loser of the ride soon as the ride gets started he gets stuck in a pack of empty car the attendant hanging off the back helping him steer it and there's always that one guy that loves to hit going around every time saliva on his chin pit crew working on the car he goes after the worst car on the ride which is not the looser one car worse than the loser I'm sure you remember them the helpless father-and-son team the most out of it car on the ride Wow son would you turn the wheel looks like when you drive now isn't it the bumper cars it's just the world is like the bumper cars now when you drive bad things could happen when you drive you get so scared I broke down one two that's the most frightening thing drive along you break down what do you do you get out of the car pretend like you know what you do you walk around the front open up the hood what are you looking for whatever all you can't fix it you stand there hoping to find something incredibly obviously wrong you know something that's so simple even you can handle it a giant on/off switch on/off there's something I can work with thanks very much shere Hite George Hamilton will come back Jerry sign

Channel: Merv GriffinShow

Views: 275,893

Rating: 4.813818 out of 5

Keywords: Jerry Seinfeld, standup, comedy, Humor, Jerry Seinfeld (TV Actor)

Id: aWab-0Qy_oU

Length: 4min 26sec (266 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 17 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

That left/right bit is great stuff.

[u/facadesintheday]

"Do you guys know bumper cars?"

Silence

That was a tough crowd, especially for a tv stand up.

[u/timevast]

Interesting that he was based in LA then. I wouldn't've guessed that.

[u/Ginger-Nerd]

This appearance was talked about on the Jay Leno episode of Comedians in cars getting coffee (about 4:15)

[u/nonconformist3]

No wonder Jerry is so clean with his act. He can get on so many more shows that way. We're living in different times now, so that opportunity has changed.

[u/Lovehat]

I just realised this is the first time Ive seen Jerry do stand up, other than on his show.