It Came From Tumblr #18 [Binge Compilation]

[Music] it is time to cleanse your mind with these shower thumbs bye tumblr if the gasoline tax was applied to the car manufacturer instead of the driver we'd have the most fuel-efficient cars ever the first man to land on the moon Neil a is a li backwards the biggest dick move in the world is leaving tomorrow you with all the work Sesame Street missed out on the opportunity to create a relative of Oscar the Grouch who lived in recycling bins a fat person has more skin than a normal person therefore they are skinnier hair is disgusting the minute it's not attached to your body anymore if you use a windmill to power your electric fan then you're basically transferring the wind to yourself we poison and exterminate trillions of small life forms with chemicals every year but if a higher life-form came and started doing that to us we'd feel like that's pretty messed up 50 years later some of these shoots will be used for 14 year old deep quotes and finally if someone pretends to be a kid online they're most likely an FBI agent if someone pretends to be an FBI agent online they're most likely a kid and this has been shower thoughts by tumblr would you slap him for 88 million dollars no no absolutely not the only thing I'm slapping on him is a little kiss dude I can't believe Blue's Clues finally got its own anime I don't know the screen cap is from so I have no choice but to believe you dude I already told you it's a screen cap from the Blue's Clues anime look blue is about to give Steve his handy-dandy notebook of death like bra you panty Fenton one day your child will bring home a friend and introduce them and they'll have the name of a fictional character and you silently whisper someone in English wrote a story about how donkey had to shoot Shrek in the zombie apocalypse because a zombified Farquaad bidam and Shrek's last words were use more than one bullet remember Shrek shed a tear and smiled oh my Greg it's all so clear now I tripped over a bra today I think it was a booby trap that was like the biggest plot twist in my life today I learned cyanide had no effect on Rasputin in the first murder attempt because cyanide sprinkled over cakes converted to a harmless ammonia it was cooked into rose cakes to be specific the blending and cooking process fundamentally broke down the cyanide I prefer to think he was just immune after all he is raw Rasputin Russia smallest routine in my senior drama class I had to play Gordon Ramsay for a film project but we can only film in school so we had to try to find a closed-off room to use the thing is the room wasn't exactly soundproof and apparently someone hurt us and that's the story of how the Vice Principal and four freshman walked in on me wearing a chef's hat and yelling out my friend because they're squid was so raw I could still hear telling spongebob to frig off it did you get an A did you get the a Squidward bra have you ever want to be the center of attention so bad you cut Asia in half like God dang King Solomon did anyone actually ever read those Animorph books no I just started the covers for a concerning Li long amount of time before putting it back where I found it I mean bra same god I can't even I can't even make a joke about Bart going in a heated gamer moment this the screenshot alone looks like a damn joke are you are you telling me this is unedited the episode name is e my sports in the 1950s one of the journalists criticized Marilyn Monroe saying that she's only beautiful because of her fame he dresses / clothes then she did this photoshoot wearing a potato sack as a response straight-up savagery god bless him Marilyn Monroe what is the purpose of training bras what are we trying to teach the boobs well they are trained to be the very best like no one ever bras to catch them is my real chest to train the mama Tatas I will browse across the store trying on every size knee training bras to understand the mammaries inside it's time to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka with these shower thoughts John wick is probably getting harder to kill because people keep trying to kill him giving him endless experience and training when you find money its simultaneously both your lucky day and someone else's unlucky day having your phone at full charge and still be on the charger is kind of like being awake but just staying in bed in Harry Potter they had potions to regrow completely new bones change your physical appearance to someone else's or even grow new organs such as gills for underwater breathing yes Harry was still stuck wearing glasses due to poor eyesight a small mildly disturbing thing about getting older is how much further you have to scroll down with selecting your year of birth online speaking a foreign language is like emulating another operating system it will never run as smooth as the one pre-installed but with the right optimization you can come pretty close as long as you're alive you can never be 100% sure you're not immortal as a kid you believe working for a company is all serious adult business when you finally start working you realize that most of the time it's more of an adult kindergarten due dates for babies are like estimated download times and finally if your butt cheeks were split horizontally they would collapse and this has been Javits bye tumblr when I was around five I asked my mom why some people were different colors and she said because God wanted a lot of flavors and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next three years I thought God eight people when they died while I nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a clapping as if ass cheeks gently clapping clapping at my chamber door tis a visitor I muttered dummy thick and nothing changed Philosopher's Stone to sorcerer stones for America I decided to rest since us Americans are too dumb to understand the word Philosopher's Harry Potter and the whisper snake place Harry Potter and that mean jail man Harry Potter and the hot cup Harry Potter and the bird club Harry Potter and the guy was only some blood and Harry Potter and Ross so I was having a conversation with a friend about interesting D&D moments he decides to tell me about one player who fulfilled his rule a little differently so this guy creates a half work rogue okay okay different but he could work the thing is he puts no points into stealth instead he only does intimidation he cranked the points really high so whenever he needed to perform a stealth check he just walk up to the people he's sneaking by and yell through curtsy grog and because of his intimidation points the people would just responded fear I can't see you again soon now that it's how you play Dungeons & Dragons if you caught the wife you catalogue one more time I'm calling the cops my DM to me when I mentioned the Monster Manual I had a question oh boy go away where's that face its 2017 you're working on a PowerPoint for school it's about ancient Egypt you select the papyrus font yes perfect from a 9th century Irish manuscript the phrase massive hangover written in the ancient Irish tax saga the monk must have been really having a rough day the exact translation is al killed us which is somehow better today I learn Pope Gregory the 9th condemned the black cat as an our nation of Satan and consequently it was the death warrant for the animal is worse than the Black Death a century after Gregory's time because the plague was spread by rats which were unchecked in Europe due to the decline of cat numbers what I'm hearing is the Catholic Church was responsible for the plague what I'm feeling is not surprised did you eat today or did today eat you I noticed some of y'all were Yoda today hang in there you'll live to eat another day good idea marry a blacksmith so you can get free swords whenever mmm butter idea become a miner and then marry a blacksmith so he can have the required materials for you to get free swords whenever and truly the wok idea make a harem and marry a full production chain now that is an anime I want to see stab wound you mean extra pocket nobody on this website should be allowed outside I swear to God DM you lose your balance and fall backwards and as you land you hear something in your bag break warlock remembering he has four jars of live beasts and they really glowed down because that first bottle is gorgeous that first bottle dead-ass looks like it's gonna make issue crows out of your hands the first bottle is also full of liquid ice cocaine so it will make me feel like I can shoot crows out of my hands my 19 year old brother put sports bottle lids on his chocolate milk thank you for sharing his wisdom with us bars are too powerful that can learn math suggestion all they have to do is yell everybody clap your hands and make up the twelve people do the cha-cha slide for 24 hours don't ever mess with the board's don't do it the ninth floor has temporarily been moved to the 15th floor also Wednesday has been cancelled due the scheduling errors what is this Hogwarts rise and shine Adam you probably wonder where you are I'll tell you you might be you might be in the room that you died up until now you'll simply send the shadows watching others with other lives but what do boyars see when they look into the mirror oh no I see you as a strange mix I saw an angry [ __ ] but mostly just oh so are you going to watch yourself today social skills styles elder scroll oblivion NPC dialogue Hey Dude how's it going if you've got to travel by the night stay on the road it's the date where you see Broadway spot and the difference extreme by the way if I found out you looted the adorable raccoon I'm going to find you and I will personally end you imagine of bodek Horseman's final scene was a fade-out to the future with Bojack and a bar saying and that's why the long face and knowing the creators of the show they might actually do that and I'm gonna be mad in 2017 we sent nudes in 2018 we sent noodles now in 2019 we send things that make us feel wholesomely happy to share our love of life with each other do it now what's 3/7 chicken 2/3 cat and half goat a lost spirit has trouble moving into the afterlife when they cannot accept being able to see if their two favorite TV series get to meet in one special it's a crossover episode yeah ok so we have Q terms like waifu's and Haas Bondo's but is there one for non binaries and quiring mines must know and after posting this tumblr has given us the answer spouse ooh thank you are you consuming the basic food groups coffee pizza rice and mangoes right well one of those is right it wasn't coffee Halloween costume idea an upright orchestral bass with legs just plucking the strings called a walking bass line and then somebody on tumblr made it and I'm terrified made something cursed and it made me realize that my puns have been out of control and for that I offer you a formal apology

Channel: P.M. Seymour

Views: 365,980

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, aphmau, mystreet, comedy, reading, minecraft mystreet, dollastic, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, family friendly, editing

Id: eC2uZMkYqng

Length: 12min 57sec (777 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 01 2019