THIS PROGRAM CONTAINS SUBJECT MATTER AND LANGUAGE THAT MAY BE
DISTURBING TO SOME VIEWERS. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. PENNY-LEE WAS
AN AMAZING MOM. SHE IS ALWAYS
LOVING, CARING, AND SHE ALWAYS DOES
STUFF FOR OTHER PEOPLE. SHE'S SUCH
A WARM, GIVING PERSON, YOU KNOW,
WITHOUT ALCOHOL. AFTER 6 BEERS,
SOMETHING HAPPENS,
AND SHE GETS POSSESSED. SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP
TO BOTH OF YOU. MY MOM IS LOSING
HER SANITY. AAH! [CACKLES] SOMETIMES I THINK IT IS
THE DAMN DEVIL HIMSELF. I HAVE TO RELY
ON MY MOM FOR CHILD CARE. IT'S NOT RIGHT, BECAUSE SHE
CAN GET DRUNK AND THEN KNOCK OUT,
AND THEN WHAT? YOU SEE ME WITH
AN ALCOHOLIC PROBLEM, AND THEN YOU,
LIKE, STUCK MY GRANDSON
IN MY FACE AND SAY, "HERE, GO WATCH
YOUR GRANDMA DRINK. GO WATCH YOUR GRANDMA
ACT STUPID." WE INTERVENING
RIGHT NOW 'CAUSE WE WANT
OUR MOM BACK. IT'S--IT'S THE END
OF THE ROAD. THIS IS THE CHANCE. IT'S ALCOHOL
OR YOUR FAMILY. [MOCKING]
"I DON'T KNOW." "GO SPEND IT ANY..." Penny-Lee: READY? YAY. MY NAME IS PENNY-LEE. I'M 48,
AND I LIVE IN HAWAII. YAY. ♪ AI YAH ♪ I'M HANGING OUT RIGHT NOW
TODAY WITH FAMILY, FRIENDS. SOME COME FROM WAI'ANAE. SOME COME FROM WAIPAHU. SOME COME FROM HALE'IWA,
ANY PART OF THE ISLAND, BUT WE ALL COME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY CALLED 'OHANA. AH, HEY. HI, BABY. MY FAMILY GOES BACK
5 GENERATIONS IN HAWAII. THERE'S ALWAYS
A FAMILY GATHERING, WHICH ENTAILS, YOU KNOW,
A BARBECUE AT THE BEACH. KARAOKE PARTY. AND I LOVE MY FAMILY
VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH. [LAUGHS] MY MOTHER,
SHE'S A GOOD PERSON. SHE'S, LIKE, VERY HAPPY
AND JUBILANT. WHENEVER YOU GUYS
READY TO DIG IN, COME EAT. MY MOM IS SUCH
A WARM, GIVING PERSON... CAN I HAVE ONE BEER? CAN YOU HAVE
ONE BEER? YEAH. YOU KNOW,
WITHOUT ALCOHOL. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. [OPENS CAN] Penny-Lee: I'M ON
MY FIRST BEER RIGHT NOW, AND I'LL PROBABLY
HAVE MORE TO COME. IF THERE'S BEER
IN THE HOUSE, SHE'LL DRINK IT ALL. AS LONG AS THERE'S BEER,
SHE'LL KEEP GOING. BEER NUMBER 2. WHEN I'M DRUNK,
I FEEL LIKE I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD. I FEEL I CAN DO
WHATEVER I LIKE. I FEEL LIKE I CAN SAY
WHATEVER I WANT TO. I CAN BE ME. [LAUGHS] IT'S MY FRIEND. IT KEEPS ME COMPANY. BUT IT MAKES ME
FEEL, UH-- WHAT'S THAT WORD? LIKE--LIKE TIPSY. [LAUGHS] I GET MONEY FOR BEER
THROUGH MY HUSBAND. HE BELIEVES I'M SPENDING IT
ON GROCERIES, BUT I'M NOT.
I'M SPENDING IT ON BEER. SHE NEEDS TO HAVE
THE STRONGEST BEER THAT SHE CAN GET
IN HER HANDS, BECAUSE SHE NEEDS
TO BE HIGH ALL THE TIME. I BUY MOST INEXPENSIVE BEER,
BUT THE ONE WITH THE MOST ALCOHOL
PERCENTAGEWISE IN IT. SHE'LL DRINK FROM
4:00 IN THE AFTERNOON, AND SHE'LL BE DRINKING
THE NEXT MORNING AT 5:00. Man: I STILL
DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT CAUSES SOMEONE
TO DRINK SO MUCH, TO THE POINT WHEN THEIR BODY
IS ACTUALLY
REJECTING IT. [SLURPS WATER] [SPITS] Craig:
SHE REACHED THE POINT OF VOMITING IT OUT
AND THEN, YOU KNOW,
A FEW HOURS LATER, SHE WILL--
SHE'LL BE UP AND-- AND GOING TO THE STORE
AND--AND THINKING SHE
NEEDS TO DRINK AGAIN. THE DOCTORS TOLD HER
IF SHE KEEPS DRINKING, SHE'S GONNA KILL HERSELF. AS SOON AS SHE GOT OUT
OF THE HOSPITAL, I MEAN,
SHE WAS DRINKING AGAIN. I CAN JUMP
TO ONE SUBJECT
TO ANOTHER. IT'S PART
OF MY CREATIVITY. Nohea: IF SHE'S DRINKING,
SHE'S ALWAYS OUTSIDE. SHE CAN SIT FOR HOURS AND
JUST TALK TO HERSELF. NOBODY WAS PERFECT. NOBODY IS PERFECT. Craig: AFTER SHE
PUTS DOWN ABOUT 6 BEERS,
SOMETHING HAPPENS, AND SHE GETS POSSESSED. IT'S LIKE--TOTALLY LIKE
ANOTHER PERSON. IT'S ALL
THESE GROWN BOYS. THEY WORK
FOR THE STATE. WHY THEY
NOT TAKE OFF AND TAKE CARE
OF THEIR MOTHER? WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE
MY BREADWINNERS? NO, "AUNTIE. YOU CAN HELP US,
AUNTIE." HUH? HER BEHAVIOR IS
COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL. HER EMOTIONS WILL JUST
GO FROM ONE EXTREME
TO THE OTHER. AAH! [CACKLES] [CRYING] Craig: HER MIND IS JUST--
JUST SNAPS. [SOBS] Nohea: SHE DOES WEIRD STUFF. OH, GOD.
I CAN'T EXPLAIN THIS, BECAUSE--YOU GOTTA SEE IT
TO BELIEVE IT. Craig: THE EVIL
GETS IN THERE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. MAN, IT--I THINK IT IS
THE DAMN DEVIL HIMSELF. WELL, I'D STRIKE! FOR A NEW COACH. 'CAUSE YOU WOULD
JUST FEEL A SCAB. TELL MELLO I CAN
KNOCK HER [BLEEP] BLOCK
OFF HER HEAD. WHERE PENNY-LEE WILL
COME AND CHARGE YOU. I MEAN LITERALLY
CHARGE YOU, KNOCK YOUR
ON THE [BLEEP] GROUND, AND KEEP ON
COMING AFTER YOU UNTIL SHE'S
EITHER PULLED OFF, KNOCKED OUT, OR PUSHED
IN THE CORNER SOMEPLACE. SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP
TO BOTH OF YOU. THEY FEEL
THEY WANT TO HELP ME. HOW THEY GONNA HELP ME? IT SEEMS LIKE I ALWAYS
TEND TO DO THINGS ALONE ANYWAY. [CRIES] Kristi: IF MY MOM DOESN'T
STOP WHAT SHE'S DOING AND STOP DRINKING, SHE'LL END UP
JUST KILLING HERSELF. I'M JU... I'M FED UP. AND IT'S OVER HERE
ALREADY. [NARRATING]
WHY CAN'T I STOP DRINKING? A FRIEND TOLD ME
IT'S A DISEASE I HAVE AND YOU CAN NEVER STOP. TAKE IT FROM HER. SHE KNOWS. Nohea: IF SHE
DOESN'T STOP,
SHE WILL DIE, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF
SHE'LL EVER BE ABLE
TO DO IT. I WISH SHE WILL,
BUT I DON'T KNOW. YOU THINK THAT'S
LIVABLE CONDITIONS? Kristi: I REALLY
CAN'T SEE MY MOM. I CAN'T SEE THE PERSON
THAT I KNOW... IT ISN'T! AND LOVE AS MY MOM. I JUST--I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO SHE IS ANYMORE. "LET ME MAKE MY SALAD
IN YOUR HOUSE." YET YOU DON'T LIKE ME
IN YOUR HOUSE. [MUTTERING] IN YOUR BRAND-NEW HOUSE. "DON'T MESS UP MY HOUSE." WHY COME HOUSE? Nohea: PENNY WAS BORN, SHE
WAS A PRETTY LITTLE GIRL, AND EVERYBODY LOVED HER. SHE WAS SPECIAL,
AND SHE WASN'T
AFRAID TO, YOU KNOW, BE DIFFERENT. I WAS A LITTLE BUDDHA. HEH HEH HEH HEH. A LITTLE BUDDHA TO ME
WAS A LITTLE TOMBOY. I WAS GOOD AT SPORTS. I LOVE OUTDOORS. SHE HAD LOTS OF FRIENDS. REALLY EASYGOING. SHE WAS... THE POPULAR ONE. MY CHILDHOOD WAS
HAPPY AND UNHAPPY. HER MOM WAS PROBABLY
NOT THERE FOR HER LIKE SHE
COULD HAVE BEEN. SHE DIDN'T
MAKE GOOD CHOICES
DURING THOSE TIMES. Nohea: IT WAS HORRIBLE. OUR MOM COULD SNAP
AT ANY SECOND, AND YOU NEVER KNEW WHY. WE USED TO HAVE BROOM. AND SHE USED
TO GET MAD AT US AND
TOSS THEM OVER MY BACK. RA-PAH. HEH. OW. JUST BUST THEM
OVER MY BACK. OUR MOM WOULD COME HOME
FROM A DRINKING SPREE, AND IF THERE WAS
A DISH IN THE SINK, MY MOM WOULD
GRAB THE SLOP-CAN AND
JUST DUMP IT ALL OVER AND SAY,
"YOU'RE A [BLEEP] KID. "YOU NEVER CLEAN
THE DISHES. GET YOUR [BLEEP] ASS
OUT OF THIS BED.
GO CLEAN THE--" THIS IS WHAT WE
HAD TO PUT UP WITH. Penny-Lee:
SHE COULD CARE LESS. LIKE, "GO.
GO HAVE BABIES. GOOD. GET OUT
OF MY HOUSE. BYE." THAT'S THE KIND
OF PARENTS I HAD
BACK THEN TO ME. I DIDN'T CARE HOW
I GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE. I WANTED TO GET
OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND I THINK THAT'S
HOW IT WAS FOR HER. SHE WAS SO HAPPY. SHE WAS JUST ECSTATIC. I THINK SHE FELT MORE
LIKE A WHOLE PERSON MAYBE. Penny-Lee: MY SON
MEANT THE WHOLE WORLD, LIKE YAY. IT WAS SOMETHING I MADE, SOMETHING
THAT GREW IN ME. IT WAS ALL MINE.
HEH HEH. I DON'T EVER REMEMBER
A TIME SHE WASN'T AROUND. WE WAS GOING TO THE BEACH
EVERY WEEKEND. YOU KNOW,
WE'D GO CAMPING. EVERYTHING SHE DID
WAS FOR ME. 'OLA AND PENNY-LEE
WAS JUST INSEPARABLE. AND MY SECOND SON CAME.
IT WAS EVEN BETTER. IT WAS GLORIOUS.
I WAS SO HAPPY. PENNY-LEE
WITH HER FIRST HUSBAND, HONESTLY, I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS GONNA LAST. PENNY-LEE WAS
THE GOFER PERSON. "YOU GO DO THIS.
YOU TAKE CARE OF THIS. "YOU TAKE CARE
OF THE KIDS. YOU COME PICK ME UP." HE DIDN'T TAKE CARE
OF HIS FAMILY. HE TOOK CARE OF HIM FIRST. SHE CAME AFTER. SHE WAS DOING
EVERYTHING RIGHT. SHE WAS A GOOD MOM,
GOOD WIFE, BUT IT WASN'T ENOUGH
TO KEEP HIM FAITHFUL. I CAME HOME ONE DAY. HE HAD A GIRL IN MY HOUSE. HE RAN AFTER HER, AND IT WAS HISTORY
AFTER THAT. WHEN MY HUSBAND
AND I DIVORCED, YES, I WAS--IT WAS
JUST ME AND MY BOYS. I THINK SHE FELT ABANDONED. Penny-Lee: I FELT SAD. I FELT ALONE. Nohea: SHE DIDN'T HAVE
HIGH HOPES FOR HERSELF
AT THAT TIME, AND BEING A MOM
ON HER OWN, IT MUST HAVE BEEN
REALLY HARD ON HER. THERE'S TIMES WHERE
WE HAD TO LIVE ON--
ON THE BEACH. BUT I THINK
SHE GOT REALLY STRONG. Keola: MY MOM
LED BY EXAMPLE. SHE ALWAYS TOLD US,
YOU KNOW, KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND
JUST DON'T LET ANYBODY
GET IN YOUR WAY. Kapono: SHE HAD, LIKE,
SIDE JOBS HERE AND THERE, SO SHE FOUND THE WAY
TO GIVE US EVERYTHING
THAT WE WANTED AND MORE. I WOULD DO ANYTHING
FOR MY KIDS. Gidget: YOU KNOW,
SHE TRIED HER BEST TO MAKE SURE THAT
THEY MADE THE MOST
OF THEIR LIVES SO THEY WOULDN'T HAVE
TO GO THROUGH WHAT SHE DID
AS A YOUNG CHILD. I REMEMBER
A LOT OF REALLY,
REALLY GOOD TIMES, BEING HAPPY, AND CELEBRATING
OCCASIONS AND BIRTHDAYS
AND CHRISTMASES. Penny-Lee: YEAH,
IT WAS A HAPPY HOME. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT
THAT, OH, HERE, EX-HUSBAND WANTS TO WALTZ
BACK IN MY LIFE. HE WANTED THE BOYS
TO BE MORE IN HIS LIFE. I GOT MAD AT HIM,
SO I SAID, "WHY COME BACK
AROUND MY HOUSE?" "SO WHAT?
I'M HERE NOW." "YEAH, BUT YOU'RE
A DAY LATE." Kapono: THINK MY MOM
WAS RESISTANT TO
MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER COMING INTO THE--
THE PICTURE, BUT TO ME, IT WAS JUST
ANOTHER JOYOUS MOMENT. Keola: AND IT
SEEMED KIND OF LIKE HE WAS
THIS WONDERFUL GUY THAT PRETTY MUCH CAME IN
AND--AND TOOK US BACK. SO IT DEVASTATED ME
SO BAD THAT IT'S LIKE--WHEW. HEY, YOU [BLEEP] BURNT
YOUR [BLEEP] BRIDGES
WITH ME. PENNY DID EVERYTHING
FOR THEM ALL THEIR LIFE, AND I-I'M SURE
THAT MUST HAVE HURT HER. I WOULD COME HOME
FROM SCHOOL, WALK THROUGH THE DOOR, AND SHE WOULD START
YELLING AND SCREAMING
AT ME FOR NO REASON, SO A LOT OF TIMES,
I WOULD RUN AWAY
FROM HOME. EVERYBODY'S TAKING
ALL MY KIDS AWAY FROM ME AND [BLEEP]
SHUTTING MY LIFE DOWN. I'VE DONE L-LOST MY KIDS.
I LOST MY MOM. I LOST MY FAMILY. I LOST MY RELATIVES. WHAT MORE THERE IS
TO ASK FOR? SHE JUST STARTED
DRINKING MORE AND
MORE AND MORE. I THINK SHE HOPED
THAT SHE WOULD BE
A GREAT MOTHER
Kristi: SHE JUST
COMPLETE AND SHE'D, LIKE,
LOVE HER KIDS AND HER KIDS
WOULD LOVE HER AND SHE'D BE,
LIKE, THE OPPOSITE
OF HER MOTHER, BUT SHE JUST FELL
IN THE SAME PATTERN THAT SHE GREW UP IN. Penny-Lee: DINNER'S READY. 'ONA? OK. ENH! SPAGHETTI. [WHINES]
HMM? NOT HOT. NO? YOU GONNA EAT
WITH MOMMY LATER? Craig: THE DANGER
OF HER WATCHING KEONA IS SHE'LL START
DRINKING EARLY, BEFORE ONE OF US
GETS HOME TO HELP HER
WATCH HIM, AND BASICALLY
SHE JUST NEGLECTS HIM, AND HE COULD
GET INTO SOMETHING
AND HURT HIMSELF. I HAVE CRIED AND TOLD HER,
"YOU KNOW, MOM--" [SNIFFLES] "WHAT I NEED FROM YOU IS TO JUST QUIT DRINKING
AND HELP ME WITH KEONA." HI, KRISTI. HI. HEARING THEM
EVERY SINGLE DAY BUG THE [BLEEP]
OUT OF ME ABOUT, "MOM, WHAT YOU
DOING DRINKING? MOM, WHY YOU
BEEN DRINKING?" IT'S FRUSTRATING. THEN THEY ASK ME, "OH,
CAN YOU WATCH KEONA?" SO YOU LET ME
BABY-SIT YOUR KID. OH, THAT'S WHY YOU
LIKE ME QUIT DRINKING,
FOR WATCH YOUR KID. THIS IS NOT FAIR, 'CAUSE I COULD GO WORK,
YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS. Craig: SHE COULD HAVE
BEEN A BOSS AT HER JOB. THE SKY'S
THE LIMIT FOR--FOR WHAT
SHE COULD HAVE BEEN. YEAH, I LIKED WORKING. MY JOB WAS A FAST-PACED
KIND OF JOB. I WAS GETTING BENEFITS, PAID HOLIDAYS,
PAID VACATIONS, BUT I WAS
EMBARRASSED 'CAUSE
I STARTED DRINKING... SO I JUST RESIGNED. SHE'S CONSTANTLY REMINDED
OF NOT BEING A CONTRIBUTOR
TO THE HOUSEHOLD, SO SHE'S ALMOST MADE
TO FEEL LIKE SHE'S... YOU KNOW, NOTHING. I CANNOT STAY IN THIS HOUSE
5 DAYS A WEEK. JUST IS--
JUST NOT CUTTING IT. WE FEEL TRAPPED. I ASK TO DO THINGS
WITH HIM, AND I ASK FOR MONEY
FOR GO PLACES WITH HIM. YOU GUYS DON'T TRUST ME FOR HAVE MONEY FOR EVEN
PUT GAS IN MY CAR. WE DON'T LIKE STAYING
TRAPPED IN THIS HOUSE ALL DAY LONG, TOO,
YOU KNOW, KRISTI. I FEEL LIKE I BEG. YES, I FE--
I ALWAYS--THAT'S WHAT
I ALWAYS TELL THEM. "WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS
MAKE ME BEG FOR MONEY? I SHOULDN'T
HAVE TO BEG YOU GUYS
FOR MONEY." MOM, THERE'S
A REASON WHY WE DON'T
GIVE YOU MONEY
TO BABY-SIT. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND THAT? NO. I DON'T WANNA HEAR
YOU GUYS' EXCUSES. THAT'S A POOR EXCUSE. THAT'S NOT
A POOR EXCUSE. IT IS, KRISTI.
I GOTTA GO TO THE STORE. YOU'LL GO
ON DRINKING BINGES
FOR, LIKE, WEEKS, IF I GIVE YOU
THAT KIND OF MONEY. I'M NOT GONNA CONTRIBUTE
TO YOU DRINKING ANY MORE
THAN YOU ALREADY DO, AND IF I GAVE YOU
THAT KIND OF MONEY, YOU WOULD USE IT
ON ALCOHOL. WELL, I GOTTA GO
TO THE STORE TO GO
GET SOME STUFF. WHAT I WANT FROM KRISTI IS TO TAKE YOUR SON
OUT OF THIS ENVIRONMENT AND PLACE HIM
SOMEPLACE BETTER FOR THE BEST INTEREST
OF KEONA. IF THEY FEEL THAT
THEY CAN'T TRUST ME WITH MONEY... THEN WHY TRUST ME WITH
MY GRANDSON, PERIOD? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. ...CAKE,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. YEAH, 'CAUSE I
CAN'T EVEN LIKE THIS. [CLAPPING] KRISTI'S 28 TODAY. YEAH, RIGHT.
NO WAY. [LAUGHTER] LOOK AT THAT.
LIKE, "NO WAY!" WHOO!
WHOO! MAKE A WISH.
BLOW IT OUT. AH HEH HEH. YAY!
YAY! AH, LOOK AT YOU,
LITTLE BALLERINA GIRL. YOU'RE SO CUTE. HEY, HERE, SWEETIE. THAT'S JOLENE'S. Keola: I'D SEE MY MOM
AT FAMILY PARTIES
IF SHE'S AROUND AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH,
IF NOT MORE. Kai-Lee: WHEN MY MOM'S
AT FAMILY EVENTS, IT'S KIND OF IMPOSSIBLE
FOR HER NOT TO DRINK, BECAUSE THE ALCOHOL
IS RIGHT THERE
AT HER CONVENIENCE. CAN I HAVE A BEER? CAN YOU HAVE A BEER?
YEAH. OK, GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. [CHUCKLES] POUND, POUND, POUND,
POUND, POUND. I THINK MY MOM'S
AN IDIOT SOMETIMES
WHEN SHE DRINKS, BUT, UH,
I JUST PLAY HAPPY,
LET HER DRINK SO SHE STAYS HAPPY. I WANT ONE MORE SIP. HEH. OK.
YOU TAKE ONE MORE SIP. [LAUGHS] DO YOU FEEL LIKE
THERE'S ANY HYPOCRISY WITH EVERYONE
DRINKING AROUND HER, BUT JUST WANTING HER
NOT TO DRINK? THAT'S TRUE. I--I ALWAYS
THINK ABOUT THAT, UM, YOU KNOW, BUT FOR ME, I'VE DONE
SOME PRETTY BAD THINGS
IN HER LIFE, SO, YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT GONNA TELL HER, "NO, YOU CAN'T
HAVE ONE, MOM." I DON'T
WANNA BLAME MYSELF FOR
THE STATE SHE'S IN NOW, BUT THERE'S
A TURNING POINT
IN EVERYTHING. MY DECISION TO LIVE
WITH MY BIOLOGICAL DAD AFFECTED MY MOM,
I THINK, PRETTY SEVERE. I WAS JUST 14, 15,
SO I THOUGHT I KNEW
THE ANSWER... GO LIVE WITH DAD. BUT I GUESS
I MESSED IT UP MORE. Penny-Lee:
IT WAS DEVASTATING. I CRIED. I CRIED.
I CRIED. I CRIED. I CRIED. MY MOM SLOWLY
STARTED TO DETERIORATE
IN CONDITION, WHERE SHE'S TO THE POINT
WHERE SHE IS NOW. SOMEBODY GAVE UP
ON HER THAT SHE
NEVER GAVE UP ON. [SIGHS] IT'S A HARD THING
TO DEAL WITH. I MEAN, YOU KNOW
YOU'RE LETTING YOUR MOM
DO SOMETHING BAD, AND I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THAT. I MEAN... Kapono: KEOLA BELIEVES
MY MOM'S LIFE WOULD BE DIFFERENT
IF WE STAYED, BUT I THINK MY BROTHER
SHOULD MOVE FORWARD AND TRY TO MAKE
THE SITUATION BETTER, BECAUSE IT'S NOT
REALLY A BLAME GAME. IT'S--IT'S MORE ABOUT
FIXING THE SITUATION
AS BEST AS POSSIBLE. Keola: MAYBE THIS
MAKES HER HAPPY, PISSING EVERYBODY ELSE OFF. MAYBE THAT'S WHAT SHE
WANTS IN LIFE NOW. SHE REACHED THE POINT
WHERE SHE DID EVERYTHING
FOR EVERYBODY, AND NOW SHE DOESN'T
GIVE A CRAP ABOUT ANYBODY. I GOTTA WATCH MY FAMILY
DRINK IN FRONT OF ME AND MAKE US THINKING--
AND THEN WHEN I CAN'T-- AND THEY KNOW
I CAN'T HAVE, THOUGH. I WANNA TELL MY MOM,
"MOM, COME BACK." THEY WANNA SIT THERE AND DRINK
IN FRONT OF ME! AND IT'S LIKE,
"WELL, GOOD FOR YOU." I HATE THE FEELING THAT
I THINK WE BROKE THE FAMILY. [CRYING] AUNTIE ANNA DID DO GOOD. BY GOLLY, SHE DID GOOD. SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE
FOR THOSE IN NEED, THOSE IN BAD HEALTH. IN THE HOSPITAL. GOTTA COME ON.
THAT WAS GOOD. WHEN I ALMOST WAS DYING. FOR MY DAD, WHEN HE HAD
ALCOHOL POISONING. JOLENE, I'LL BE DAMNED IF YOU GONNA LET
MY MOTHER SAY YOUR MOTHER
WAS A PIECE OF [BLEEP]. PENNY-LEE'S DRINKING IS-- IT CAUSE A LOT
OF, UM, PROBLEMS AND HARDSHIP
IN MY RELATIONSHIP. MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH MY HUSBAND
IS TERRIBLE. AT TIMES, I DON'T
KNOW HIM, AND HE
DON'T KNOW ME. Craig: WE'RE NOT SO MUCH
OF A LOVING COUPLE ANYMORE 'CAUSE OF ALL THIS PAIN
AND FIGHTING AND... ALL THIS CRAZINESS. SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA
MAKE THE SALAD? I--DID I SAY THAT? OR YOU TALKING FOR ME? I ASKING YOU.
WHEN YOU GONNA MAKE 'EM? WHEN I'M GOOD
AND READY. KAI-LEE,
YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME? HE WAS MY BUDDY, YOU KNOW. HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT. YOU KNOW WHAT, CRAIG? YOU THREW MY SALAD
OUT OF THE ICEBOX. I'M PISSED. I'M GONNA THROW
NOTHING OUT. AND I THE ONE
THAT CLEAR THE FRICKIN'
ICEBOX FOR MY SALAD. I'D RATHER SEE YOU
GO STOP THE SHOPPING, CLEAN THE CONTAINERS,
THEN WASH THE CONTAINERS AND DRY 'EM AND PUT 'EM
BACK IN THE SHELF THAN ME AND DO WHAT YOU'RE DOING. [CLENCHED TEETH]
I SAID TO LEAVE IT, LIKE YOU DID--
DID IT RIGHT THERE. NO! Craig: I JUST FEEL SICK THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL
OVER WHAT'S HAPPENING. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING
TO STOP IT. WHAT I WANT FROM PENNY IS JUST TO HAVE
A NORMAL LIFE WHERE WE HELP
EACH OTHER. THE GOAL
IS, UH, YOU AND ME
AGAINST THE WORLD, YOU KNOW, NOT YOU AND ME
AGAINST EACH OTHER. THERE'S JUST NO END. SHE JUST... Craig: I'M STAYING
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I LOVE HER STILL
DEEP DOWN INSIDE. I GUESS MY HEART FEELS
HARD LIKE A ROCK ALREADY. IT'S LIKE... I'VE JUST BEEN
THROUGH SO MUCH, AND THEN I PUT UP
THIS GUARD NOWADAYS THAT I TRY TO TELL
MYSELF THAT I'M NOT
FEELING THE HURT, BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE,
I FEEL THE HURT. I KNOW
IN YOUR MOM'S HEART, THAT THERE'S
NOTHING MEAN, AND SHE LOVES YOU KIDS. BUT SHE HAS
SUCH A FRIGHTENED
SOUL, YOU KNOW. PENNY-LEE DOESN'T
HAVE A CHOICE. SHE HAS TO PICK UP
THAT DRINK, AND IT'S BECAUSE
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO DO. YOU WANT HER
TO STOP DRINKING, AND THE TRUTH IS
SHE CAN'T STOP DRINKING. Kristi: I DON'T REALLY
HAVE MUCH RELATIONSHIP
WITH MY MOM. I MEAN,
I GET ALONG WITH HER, AND I'M CIVIL,
YOU KNOW, WITH HER
AND EVERYTHING. SHE HELPS ME TAKE CARE
OF MY--MY SON, AND-- DOES SHE NOT DRINK
WHILE SHE'S TAKING
CARE OF YOUR SON? SHE DOES. SHE DOES?
YEAH. WELL,
THIS HAS TO STOP. SHE CAN'T LOOK
AFTER YOUR BABY. SHE'S NOT
ACCOUNTABLE. AND YOU AS
A FAMILY ARE GONNA
HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER RESOURCE
WHERE YOU CAN TAKE HIM,
WHERE HE'LL BE SAFE. AND SHE CAN'T
HAVE THE HONOR OF DOING
WHAT OTHER PEOPLE
GET TO DO IF SHE DOESN'T TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY
TO QUIT DRINKING. SO WHAT DO YOU WISH
OUT OF THIS? JUST TO HAVE A BETTER
RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, LIKE TO ACTUALLY
BE ABLE TO, LIKE, TRUST HER
AND TALK TO HER. I FEEL--IT MAKES ME
FEEL BAD TO SAY THAT I'M NOT HAPPY
WHEN I'M WITH HER, BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT-- IT MAKES ME SOUND
LIKE A BAD PERSON, BUT-- NO, IT DOESN'T. I WANT YOU ALL TO
HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TOMORROW TO TELL HER
HOW YOU FEEL, AND IF IT
MAKES HER FEEL BAD, IT SHOULD. YOU, MY DARLING,
ARE GOING TO GO TO THE BETTY FORD
FAMILY PROGRAM. AND IT REALLY
IS GONNA HELP YOU WITH DEALING
WITH YOUR HURT
AND YOUR ANGER, HOW YOU CAN CARRY
IT DIFFERENTLY, AND SO THAT YOU
CAN START A NEW LIFE
FOR YOURSELF. SO WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH YOU? I WANT THE FAMILY BACK,
YOU KNOW. SO TELL ME WHERE
YOU STAND IN THE FAMILY. YOU WENT TO LIVE
WITH YOUR DAD. IS THAT RIGHT?
WHEN YOU WERE-- YEAH, AND THAT'S WHERE ALL THE PROBLEMS
KIND OF STARTED. BUT YOU HAVE
TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS DIDN'T
START WITH YOU,
YOU KNOW. THIS STARTED
DECADES AGO. AND IT'S TIME
FOR HER TO GROW UP. I MEAN,
NONE OF YOU IN HERE
EVER GOT HER DRUNK. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, NEVER WAS,
NEVER WILL BE. TOMORROW, YOU HAVE
TO RELEASE YOURSELF FROM THAT BLAME
AND SHAME SO YOU CAN HAVE
LIGHT IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON'T
END UP BEING
A VICTIM FOREVER. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I'M READY FOR THIS
TO HAPPEN ALREADY. I'VE BEEN READY
FOR, UM, A WHILE. COUPLE DECADES. YEAH. SO... Candy: HERE'S
THAT LUCKY DAY. YOU'RE ALL TOGETHER
TO SAY TO HER "LOOK WHAT
WE GOT FOR YOU." OK, WE'RE ALL
GONNA STAND UP. [PENNY-LEE GASPS] YOU GUYS. [CHUCKLES] Penny-Lee: OH, MY GOODNESS. RIGHT WITH KRI--
KAI-LEE, SWEETIE. Candy:
YOU MAY SIT DOWN. YEAH. HI.
HI. I'M CANDY FINNIGAN. HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. THIS IS KIND OF
QUEEN FOR A DAY. GUESS WHO
THE QUEEN IS. OH. YES. IT'S YOU. I MET WITH
YOUR FAMILY
LAST NIGHT. OK. UH, EVERYBODY KINDA
GOT TOGETHER BECAUSE IT'S
IMPORTANT THAT, UH, WE GIVE YOU
AN OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE A NEW LIFE,
WHICH I THINK
YOU DESERVE, AND THESE KIDS
DESERVE TO HAVE THE GREATEST MOTHER
THAT THEY CAN HAVE. SO, UM,
I'M GONNA HAVE 'EM ALL GO
AROUND THE ROOM AND READ YOU
A FEW THINGS. SO, UM, YOU'RE
GONNA GO FIRST. "I HAVE SEEN
YOUR ALCOHOLISM AND ANGER AFFECT YOUR LIFE NEGATIVELY
IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS." "YOU HAVE A WEAK RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS. "YOU TEAR APART
ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
WITH YOUR FAMILY, "AND YOU LASH OUT
AND REALLY HURT ALL OF THE PEOPLE THAT
REALLY LOVE YOU THE MOST." "YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND
IS ALSO FALLING APART. "YOUR BEAUTIFUL SMILE,
HAPPINESS, AND GLOW ARE GONE FROM YOUR FACE." "OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN
SO DAMAGED SO BADLY..." "EVERY DAY I WAKE UP, "I HAVE TO WONDER
IF SOMETHING BAD
IS GONNA HAPPEN TODAY. "I HAVE TO WORRY,
'WHAT AM I GONNA COME HOME TO WHEN I GET HOME
FROM WORK?'" "AND I FEEL HURT AND ANGRY
MOST OF THE TIME, WHICH IS WHY I CANNOT
EVEN SEEM TO SMILE ANYMORE." "IF YOU WILL NOT TAKE
THIS FIRST STEP, "OUR RELATIONSHIP
IS DOOMED, "OUR MARRIAGE
WILL FALL APART, "AND OUR HOME
AND OUR FAMILY
WILL FALL APART, AND EVENTUALLY THERE
WILL BE NO FAMILY." KRISTI. "I HAVE SEEN
YOUR ALCOHOLISM AFFECT YOUR LIFE
NEGATIVELY IN
THE FOLLOWING WAYS." "YOU HAVE NO SELF-WORTH
OR SELF-ESTEEM. "YOU HAVE NO ENERGY
OR INTEREST
IN ACTIVITIES, "NO SELF-MOTIVATION
OR SELF-CONTROL. IT IS NOT ALL RIGHT
FOR ME TO KEEP LEAVING
YOU WITH KEONA..." "BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
IF HE'S SAFE." "IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING
TO TAKE PART IN THIS
RECOVERY PROCESS TODAY, "YOU WOULD LOSE
THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE A GREAT
GRANDMOTHER TO KEONA
THAT I KNOW YOU CAN BE." "AND YOU WOULD LOSE
YOUR OPPORTUNITY "TO REBUILD
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH ME AND THE REST
OF THE FAMILY." PENNY... WE ARE OFFERING YOU
TREATMENT. YOU HAVE
THESE MAGNIFICENT
CHILDREN. YOU GAVE THEM LIFE,
AND THEY CAN'T
LOVE YOU TO DEATH. YOU. SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST,
ENEMY NUMBER ONE. ALCOHOL HAS AFFECTED
YOUR LIFE IN TONS OF WAYS. YOU LOST YOUR SENSE
OF SELF-WORTH. YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU'RE DRINKING, YOU DON'T REALLY CARE
WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, BUT WHEN YOU DRINK,
YOU'RE-- YOU'RE JUST LIKE
YOU DON'T CARE. YOU'RE LOSING
ALL YOUR FAMILY, MOM. THE WAY IT'S AFFECTED ME,
YOU KNOW, UM, I BUILT THIS WALL. IT'S CAUSED ME TO BE
MORE ANGRY OF A PERSON. AND, YOU KNOW,
THE HARDEST PART ABOUT WHAT I FEEL IS,
LIKE, I FELT THIS BURDEN... THAT SINCE
I LEFT THE HOUSE, THAT WAS THE REASON
THAT YOU'RE BROKEN... AND THE REASON
THESE GIRLS HAVE
A [BLEEP] LIFE. I'M THE REASON DAD
DOESN'T HAVE HIS WIFE. BUT MAYBE THERE'S A REASON
THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS. THIS IS THE CHANCE,
YOU KNOW. TODAY IS THE DAY. WE'RE OFFERING YOU THE GIFT
TO GET TREATMENT TODAY. IT HAS TO BE TODAY. IT'S--IT'S THE END
OF THE ROAD. IT'S ALCOHOL
OR YOUR FAMILY. WE INTERVENING RIGHT NOW 'CAUSE WE WANT
OUR MOM BACK. THIS IS THE PLACE, MOM. THIS IS THE PLACE
THAT YOU'D BE LIVING. WILL YOU ACCEPT
THIS TREATMENT,
THIS PROGRAM? YES. THERE YOU GO. SHE'S GOT
THE BROCHURE. PENNY... THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR ACCEPTING
THIS GIFT. WE'RE GONNA DO
THE VERY BEST WE CAN TO START HEALING
YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. YOU DON'T EVER
HAVE TO LIVE
THIS WAY AGAIN. THANK YOU. YOU'RE VERY WELCOME. WOW. I LOVE YOU. Penny-Lee: THANK YOU. THANK YOU. CAN I HAVE A KISS? THERE WE GO. YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY. [LAUGHS] THANK YOU. LOVE YOU GUYS. BYE, MOM.
BYE! THANK YOU! SEE YOU LATER. HI, PENNY-LEE.
I'M JESSICA. WELCOME TO BAY RECOVERY. THANK YOU.
HI. THANK YOU. HI. I'M DR. RAND. HI, DOCTOR. I BELIEVE THAT PENNY-LEE
WANTS TO GET SOBER, BUT THAT'S MUCH EASIER
SAID THAN DONE. IT'S A--IT'S A LONG,
DIFFICULT PROCESS, AND IF THE UNDERLYING
TRIGGERS AND EVENTS A-AND PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMAS
FROM HER CHILDHOOD ON UP ARE NOT DEALT WITH,
SHE'S ALMOST CERTAINLY
GONNA GO BACK TO DRINK. I CHOSE MY FAMILY
TODAY BECAUSE
I LOVE MY FAMILY, AND I CAN SEE
HOW MUCH THEY LOVE ME. AND IF THEY
CAN REACH OUT
LIKE THAT TO HELP ME, THEN I'M GONNA REACH OUT
TO BE THE BEST MOM
I CAN BE FOR THEM. I'VE BEEN SOBER FOR 56 DAYS. I FEEL HEALTHIER. I FEEL MORE ALIVE. I FEEL TERRIFIC. [LAUGHS] HMM. SHELLS. MY MOODS ARE
MORE STABLE NOW. I CAN THINK
CLEARER NOW. I CAN SEE CLEARER NOW. I'M JUST HAPPIER. [LAUGHS] WHEN PENNY-LEE
FIRST CAME TO TREATMENT, YOU KNOW,
SHE WAS VERY ANGRY AND, UM,
HIGHLY EMOTIONAL, BUT THROUGHOUT
THE COURSE OF TREATMENT, I'VE REALLY JUST SEEN
A LOT OF PROGRESS
WITH HER. SHE HAS LEARNED
HOW TO CONTROL HER ANGER BY COMMUNICATING
WHAT SHE'S FEELING
IN A HEALTHY WAY. I WANT TO BETTER
COMMUNICATE WITH CRAIG,
YOU KNOW, INSTEAD OF GETTING
ANGRY OR UPSET-- OR DRINKING. OR--YES. AS SOON AS I GET HOME, I'M TAKING
RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY OWN ACTIONS
OF WHAT I DID
WITH MY FAMILY. I HAVE TO FORGIVE
MYSELF, LOVE MYSELF, AND THEN MAKE AMENDS
TO THEM. I THINK THEY'RE
GONNA JUST FALL IN LOVE
WITH ME ALL OVER AGAIN. THEY'RE GONNA MELT. YES. CAN I GET A HUG?
YES. CRAIG IS GONNA GET TO SEE
THE SPARKLE IN MY EYES
WHEN I COME HOME. HA HA HA. WATCH IT, CRAIG.
I'M COMIN' HOME. [LAUGHS] I LOVE THE VIEW. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. MY HAPPY ENDING
IS MY SOBRIETY AND STAYING SOBER
FOR THE REST
OF MY LIFE. I am an alcoholic. <i>I'm on my first beer
right now,</i> and I'll probably
have more to come. Man:
If there's beer in the house,
she'll drink it all. As long as there's beer,
she'll keep going. Beer number two. When I'm drunk,
I feel like I'm on the top
of the world. I feel like I can do
whatever I like. I feel like I can say
whatever I want to. - I can be me.
- Mom, there's a reason why we don't give you money
to babysit. - Do you understand that?
- No. <i>You'll go on
drinking binges for weeks</i> <i>if I give you
that kind of money.</i> Woman #2:<i>
The doctors told her</i> if she keeps drinking,
she's going to kill herself. ( gasps )
You guys! It's important that
we give you an opportunity to have a new life,
which I think you deserve. This is the chance,
you know? Today is the day.
It's alcohol or your family. - Yes.
- There you go. Thank you. ( beeping ) Oh, my gosh! You look-- oh, my God,
you look wonderful. Thank you. So do you. Tell me how
your life has changed since you were
on the show. I feel better about myself.
I look better. I can do things
that I couldn't do
when I was drinking. And I enrolled
back into college,
so that's good. - Did you really?
- Yep. Life gave me
another chance to live. What would you say
is the biggest gift? My family.
I'm very grateful for them seeing me sober
and being sober. The challenge is
not picking up that drink. I have to remind myself
every day, "Don't drink." - One day at a time.
- Yeah! I count my blessings
every day. Well, whatever you're doing,
keep doing it, - because the glow in you--
- Thank you. Candy:<i> I mean,
it's just astounding.</i> - Thank you.
- All right, well,
take care of yourself. - Okay, bye-bye!
- Bye! ♪ 5 STEPS, YOU'RE OVER ♪
