Woman: She will get in her car and kill someone. I can drive home. I can drive home. Different woman: She has fallen
so far, so fast. Oh, God. Why do I not want
to be here anymore? Why can't you just
take me?! What we can't do alone,
we can all do together. I do not want
to go in there. I do not want
to go in there. Hi. My name is Sylvia. S-Y-L-V-I-A. I'm 49 years old,
and I live in North Carolina. I've had a very
successful career as an interior designer. I've decorated
million dollar homes. I've been featured
in magazines. I've spent all my life making
things around me beautiful... but there is nothing
beautiful about my life now. I've had... a lot. I've had a lot. Woman: Heartbroken, sad... There's not enough adjectives
to even describe how I feel about what
has happened to Sylvia Ann. Why am I so ... up? Why can't I get
my ... together?! Why can't I get
my ... together?! I miss her terribly.
I miss her old self. This is what I do. I come home
and I go to bed, I drink
and I go to bed. That's what I do.
That's what I do. She has fallen
so far, so fast, that I think she has
really come to the point where she sees
no way out. Sylvia: It's been, um,
very difficult for me to control my drinking
at work. Good mornin'.
Women: Good mornin'. Muah! Good mornin'. Can we help you
find somethin', baby? You're doing so good.
Woman: ...browsing. OK, darlin'.
No problem. I'm gonna
run to the bank. I'll be back
in a few minutes. OK.
OK. I'll be back. Sylvia thinks that she
is fooling everybody. She's fooling everybody. Nobody knows because,
"I'm functioning!" Hey, dear, can I get, um,
5 of these little red tops? Yes, ma'am. Appreciate that
very much. Thank you, dear.
You have a nice day. You, too, sweetie.
Bye-bye. Sylvia: I don't know
if I control it or it controls me. She comes up with
all kinds of excuses
to leave the store. I'm gonna run out
and get my car phone. I'll be right back.
OK, honey. I'll be back in
a few minutes.
No problem. Hey.
Man: Hi.
How are you doin'? Hey, sweetie, can I get
a double Grey Goose?
Straight up. Dolly: I have sat with
Sylvia and told her
not to drink at work. "Because,
if this continues, you're going
to lose your job." I'm just going to talk
to you in the back, by ourselves,
with nobody around. I do have, um, a concern
about you driving home, and you know why, right?
Yes. So I'm not gonna
let that happen.
OK. So I think
Cathy's gonna come and drive
your car home, OK? Dolly, I can do this.
I can do this. And I'm gonna do it,
OK, baby? I appreciate your concern,
and I love you very much, but I am not in any danger
to myself or anybody else. Here comes Cathy. [Beep] Hey, honey. I'm not gettin' in
your car. I'm fine, Cathy. Cathy, Cathy...
Please. Please. Cathy, Cathy,
I don't want to leave
my damn car here, 'cause I'm not
coming here tomorrow. OK. Do you want me
to drive your car? Why don't I drive your car?
OK? Let's just do that. Have you got your purse
and everything? Yeah.
OK. JoAnn: Never in my life
did I think that Sylvia Ann would be in the condition
she's in now. JoAnn: Sylvia Ann was
the sweetest, happiest, plumpest little baby
you've ever seen. She was...wonderful. Sylvia was
our mother's favorite. Man: Mother encouraged
Sylvia to be a star from the earliest age, and Sylvia was a star. Sylvia: I made straight As,
had tons of friends. I was a cheerleader. Jan: She won competitions
for singing and for dance. She won beauty contests. High school, um, I was voted
most likely to succeed, most popular. Jan: Our parents had very
high expectations for us. But perhaps my mother,
because of Sylvia's talent, pushed her harder than
she pushed the rest of us. Nothin' was ever right,
whatever I did. If I made an "A,"
I should have made an "A+". If I was
in a beauty pageant, why was I the runner up
and not the winner? JoAnn: Never ever did I
push her into anything, but Sylvia probably
feels in her heart that I pushed her. But she was motivated. She would never
have been satisfied to have taken a backseat. Not ever. It never was enough.
It was never enough. It was never enough. Jan: She had a role
in a Broadway show. Then she was on
several soap operas. Sylvia: After several
years in New York and some success
as an actress, I met a man
and fell in love and, being the good Southern girl
that I am, got married. Although Sylvia was primarily
a stay at home mom, she slowly built
her interior design
business to the point that she was doing
quite well financially. Sylvia: On the outside,
I appear like this wonderful, successful mother
and career person, but on the inside,
I'm always thinking
I'm not good enough. Jan: Sylvia felt that
her husband was very critical and very controlling-- the same problems
that she felt she experienced
with our mother. Sylvia: I didn't make
the bed the right way. I didn't have sex
with him the right way. Um, oh, he didn't want to
have sex tonight, so I must--I--I must not
be pretty, you know. Um... Oh, it's just... I was a single mom
for around 4 years, and it was
very difficult for me. [Crying] I was looking for
someone to protect me and--and care for me
and be strong for me. And I met this man
at church, and we fell madly,
passionately in love. Cathy: No one trusted him. That was all of
our gut feelings. I thought
the guy was a caveman. I thought the guy
was a Neanderthal. Sylvia: And, of course,
I married him. He turned out to be
what everybody said. Jan: Almost as soon
as Sylvia married, she started drinking
too much. She found that the man
that she had married was very, very violent
and abusive and had a horrible temper. Jan: At this point,
I think she truly
wanted to escape. In the time span
of less than a year, she had several D.U.I.s. She was arrested
for resisting an officer. She was put in jail,
she was thrown in
the psych ward, and then came the most
crushing blow of all. I lost custody
of my children. And I don't blame
their daddy for that. I didn't deserve
to have 'em. I couldn't even
take care of them anymore. I already lost my children. Now I'm losing
another husband. Sylvia has never been alone
in her entire life. And it's hard to imagine the loneliness
that she experiences sitting there
night after night... in that empty house, thinking about... how it used to sound
when the children were there. I imagine the silence
is deafening. When I wake up
in the mornin', I have this beautiful poem, um,
that my daughter wrote me. [Sniffs] And if it's OK with y'all, I'd like to
read it to you. "I love you, Mom,
because you cook me
good food every day. "I love you, Mom,
because you like to "cuddle with me
on the couch. "I love you, Mom,
because you come
to my baseball games. "I love you, Mom,
because when I feel sick, "you make me feel better. "I love you, Mommy,
because you plant
flowers with me. I love you, Mommy,
because you are sweet to me." "Happy Mother's Day." I love my babies. Muah, muah, muah, muah! Love my babies. Oh, I love my babies. [Sobbing] Oh, I've got
to get it together, gotta get it together,
gotta get it together, gotta get it together. I have to see the joy that
I get to see my kids today-- for 30 minutes
this whole week. ies. ♪ I love my babies ♪ ♪ They are the greatest ♪ ♪ I love my babies ♪ Didn't come to school today. What more can that
[beep] do to me? Not even let me have lunch
with my babies. This is the last week
of school. This was my last chance to
have lunch with my babies. I am dropping
my babies' lunch
on your doorstep. Whether they're there
or not makes no difference, but they will know
that their mother was there, and she made their lunch. JoAnn: It's very heartbreaking
for those children. Her children... love her and adore her, and they're still
behind her. They have not given up. And they won't give up. I want to be with them
every minute. [Sobbing] And I need them so bad.
I need them. I need my children. Oh, God. My family wants me
to quit drinkin'. My children--I could have
my children back if I could quit drinkin'. [Murmuring] [Beeping] Oh... [Telephone rings] Sylvia: Hello. Jan: Hey, sis, it's me.
How are you this mornin'? Just a little nervous
about, you know, bein' on my best
behavior tonight. Sweetie, please, please,
please, please, don't get totally drunk, OK?
I know you have to drink. This evening is my nephew's
last lacrosse game. And it's a big event,
so my mom will be there. I know my sister
will be there. Her husband
will be there, um, and a lot
of their friends. I have to worry about
not making a scene tonight. I have caused
so much embarrassment and so much pain,
um, to my family, um, by drinking. It creates an enormous
amount of pressure on me, because I have to not drink
as I normally drink. I have to drink less. When I don't have
anything to drink, I get like
a sick nausea almost. My heart is beating
very rapidly. I'm perspiring. My hands will shake,
and I feel like I'm shaking. It doesn't go away, um,
until I have something to drink. I'm about to go crazy
right now. I'm about to
jump out of my skin. I've waited as long
as I can wait today, and I'm gettin' ready
to go to the liquor store. I'm anticipating
that first drink. It's like the anticipation is--
is almost more than I can bear. I'm about to be sick, you know, I need
a drink so bad. The receipt's
in the bag, ma'am.
You have a good day. All right. Thanks.
All right. Sylvia: Shoot. In my mind, I will
not be thinking
about anything else but to try to control
my drinking today. If I can keep myself... to one more this afternoon, one on the way, before I pick up
my mom and my aunt... and then that'll
leave me three. Oh, God, oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God. How am I gonna go
to this ball game? Why do I have to go
to the friggin' ball game?! Why do I have to drive
all the way afoc-- across town to go to
this damn ball game and be the beautiful,
wonderful aunt?! With great class
and great style and be dressed
the right way and say the right things. Why do I have to do it? You know why
I have to do it? Because I've always
done it. I've always performed! I've been performing
my whole life! What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do? How am I gonna do this? [Beep] You have one
new message. JoAnn: Hi, darlin'.
It's Mom. Have you eaten
lunch? Come on
over to Jan's
a little early, and I'll bring you
a sandwich, and you can have
a cup of coffee. I love ya. Bye. [Beep] Let her make you a sandwich
and some coffee. She already anticipates me
being drunk. "Are you sober?
Are you drunk?" "Can you drive us?" What if I called a cab
because I couldn't drive? What if I was responsible, and I called a friggin' cab
to come get us?! Hey, sweetie,
I need to get a cab
in, like, 20 minutes. Can you do it for me? Now that I don't
have to drive, I can do it.
I can do my show. "Hey, how are you?
It's so great to see you! "What are your plans
for the summer? "Where is your son
going to school? "Oh, that's awesome! You must be so happy." Are you tired,
baby?
Hey, darlin'! Come on, honey. Come on.
Get in my car. Hey, no,
we're gonna go. No, darlin'.
We're gonna... I want you to ride
with Aunt Freida,
please. No, I--
Baby, we don't need
to go in a cab. Aunt Freida
knows how to
get down there. No, honey.
Come on. No. Mama's
gonna go. I'm gonna go
in the cab. Freida:
Please just go-- No, you're not.
You don't even have the appropriate clothes
for a ball game. Come on. What are you talkin' about--
appropriate clothes? Come on. Come on. You look
beautiful. Come on. Come on, baby.
Come ride with
Aunt Freida. Why are you
doing this? We don't want to go
to the ball game in a cab with two cars
sittin' here. You gonna be
embarrassed? No, I said with
two cars sittin' here. Well, why would you
want to ride-- You can ride with
your Aunt Freida... JoAnn: Well, she looks
precious as always, but she's...
She's drunk. I hate that word,
but she is drunk. Sylvia: I was gonna try to
do this, but I cannot do this. Their liquor
is locked up, and they've hidden
the key from me, but, um, I know
I can get to wine. We'd be better off
not to let her go
to the ball game. [Whispering]
Absolutely not. She don't need to go
to that ball game
like she is. And then what are
we going to tell her when she says,
"Why didn't we go
to the game?" Sylvia: I've got to figure it--
how I can manipulate gettin' my mom
and my aunt outside. OK. Mom and I will
go out on the porch for a minute.
Yeah. And you drink
your water, and you do what
you need to, darlin'. Come on, sissy.
OK. Where is the wine opener? [No audio] Where is it?!
I know it's here. [No audio] Oh, ...! Broke the knife off
in the ...! There's no stoppin' her
when she gets there. If she gets
to those bleachers, she'll be right over there
with all those people. [Gasps] I can do this,
I can do this, I can do this,
I can do this. [Cork pops] Everybody knows what
Sylvia used to be. Freida: Well, I know,
darlin', they do, but when you get like
she is right now, nobody wants to be
around her, JoAnn. They can't know... I broke the knife. Put this back. They'll never know. OK. Oh, I don't want
to do this. Mommy? She's callin' her mommy.
Go see what she wants. Mommy?
Yes, darlin'? We gotta go. It's like past the time.
It's past the point. Hey, we don't have
to be the first ones
there, do we? I just think
we ought to go.
I really do. But, darlin',
I just don't think you can walk
on the bleachers
in those shoes. Do you? Mom, it's 7:30.
I'm tellin' you, Jan will be very angry
with us. No, she won't.
She'll be very angry if we came
over there and... something happened. So you mean she'll-- she would be very happy
if we don't go there and I'm like,
fallin' down drunk? Well, I'm sure
she wouldn't
want us to come if you were
fallin' down drunk. Mom, I'm fine! Let's just go to the game! You think you're
fine, darlin'?
Yes! You think
you're yourself? Yes. Well, you're not. Freida: She's worse
than she was when she got here
in that cab. I don't understand. Freida,
how'd that happen? Honey, they find a way,
believe you me. [Slurring] Where am I?
My sister's? [Beep] You know,
I'm at my sister's? JoAnn: This has been
a horrible nightmare. It's a sad thing when
a 73-year-old mother has to play
the television
all night to keep from worrying
about my daughter. [Beep] [Indistinct] No. I'm fine. I'm fine. [Indistinct conversation] Freida: Right now,
Sylvia is to the point where she can't do
anything for herself. The alcohol
has taken over. Rinse your face
and put on your jam'ers. Take this with you, honey,
and put it on up there. Oh, they're gonna
put me to bed. They're gonna put me to bed
because they love me. I look for alcohol
when I go to Sylvia's. See? There is
the culprit. You see that? It is going
in the trash. I feel like,
if I take it and put it
in the trash can, then she's not
going to get it. I've gotta go to bed
for my mother. Mommy? JoAnn: Yes, baby? Oh, what a-- Now, don't you look
so precious? Just look what a bed
we've got for you. [Indistinct] Sylvia: Oh, my gosh! Just lie down there. You need to get well. I love you, darlin'. Sweetie, we gonna
hit the trail. I love you, angels.
OK, I love ya, darlin'. I love you, and I'll
see you tomorrow. Love you, too.
I love you, darlin'. I just did this
for my mom. I know that I've got liquor
in my bedroom. I'm sure that I do. She took... my...vodka! I tried all day
not to drink all of it and she took 'em away!
She took 'em away! I knew she would do that! Why did I leave it out?
Why, why, why? I can do this. I can do this!
I can do this. Hi, baby. [Indistinct conversations] Bye, baby.
Bye. You've got Jan
coming to get me? Producer:
She called me. Where's my car? I drove in here. Honey, I think that might be
your Yukon right down there. Do you see it? Yeah. Can I get
the keys, though? Um, your keys are
right here, babe. It's very draining to be
the primary support system for an alcoholic. Sylvia: You're awesome. Jan: And the worst of it
is that I don't feel like I've been able
to really help. Nothing that I do
changes her behavior. Man: Let me ask you
a question. Out of everybody
in the room and Sylvia,
who's feeling worse? JoAnn: Ahem.
I feel really bad. Yeah, and you know
why that is? Because when
she feels bad, she gets to get drunk.
When you feel bad-- We don't--that's right.
We have to handle it. It's possible
for you to become as preoccupied
with Sylvia as she is
with alcohol. I disengaged approximately
6 or 7 months ago, but I have never
stopped worrying, and I've never stopped
having conversations,
in particular with Jan. I feel like--I read that
I've just now hit my bottom. Just like she's gotta
get sober from alcohol, you gotta get sober
from her. "We are gonna
be well, Sylvia, whether you are
well or not." Understand that? Now,
if we pull that off, then whose problem
does hers become? All: Hers. Her own, and as soon
as her problem
becomes her own, then the odds go up that
she's gonna get better. The bottom line message
of an intervention: There's nothing
we won't do to help you get better.
Nothing. Nothing. But, there's nothing
we will do to help this go on
one more second. This is done. We can all, together,
make this happen. What we can't do alone,
we can all do together. I'm really,
really, really, really, really,
really, really, really ready
for a drink today. [Sighs] All those people
are in there. Y'all didn't
tell me this. Is my whole family
in there? What? Go. I do not want
to go in there. I'm really upset. I would like to have been
prepared for this. Well, there's
nothing to prepare. But who's in there? There's nothing
to prepare. Your mother and Bill, Jan-- My brother Bill? Uh-huh. And Jan
and Aunt Freida. And me. All the people
that love you. Ah.
Come on. Let's go. Take my hand.
Hee hee! [Sighs]
I'll put my arm
around you. Let's go. Sylvia: I'm
so sorry. Go. Go. Cathy:
Sylvia, you know,
just like I said, everybody's here
and concerned
for you. JoAnn: We love you,
darling. Sylvia: Hey, bro. Bill: Hey, sissy. Hey, bro. Hey. You look so good. I look terr-- Yes, you do too. You look good to me. I just was
not prepared for this today. Cathy: Sylvia, this
is Mr. Van Vonderen. We brought him
in today to help us. Hey.
Jeff: It's
gonna be OK. [People talking at once] Jeff: Sylvia,
I've been here
since yesterday, and I met with--
I met with these guys. And they just love you
like crazy, as you know, and--um, but they feel
like they're losing you, and they wanna
fight to get you back. So this is just
inviting you to join that fight,
is all. I asked Bill
to go first. [Exhales] You know,
I've been absent from your life
for a while, sis, and I apologize for that. But I'm back today, and I'm back
with a vengeance. The obvious
reason that I'm here is because
I love you. Ahh. When I close my eyes, I can recall
your clear voice soaring into
the uppermost reaches of churches and
wedding halls. [Sniffs] I will
never, ever forget coming to Winston-Salem to see you perform when you were selected
for Governor's School. You know, I was like,
"That's my sister, guys." And, um-- I can't believe
you remember that. Another of the qualities
I admire in you is the ease with which
you have always made not just friends
but good friends. As your difficulties
have become more pronounced
in recent years, everyone who is
close to you have become ill
by varying degrees because of what
you've been dealing with. And that would include
your 4 beautiful children. [Sobbing] [Sniffs] Excuse me. I don't know why y'all
all don't hate my guts. You should all hate me,
hate me, hate me. JoAnn: But we
love you, darlin'. They want to see
their much loved mom be around to share
their lives... to attend
their graduations... to toast them
at their weddings, and to spoil their babies, and, sis, you will
be here to do that. A well Sylvia wouldn't
compromise her own life, the lives of her children... and the lives
of innocent motorists
by driving drunk. That's not a bad Sylvia,
that's a sick Sylvia. Sis, I really don't care... I really don't care
if you are the old Sylvia. I don't care. I don't care if you're
the darling of whatever; if you're the belle
of the ball. I don't care. All I want is for you
to be well and enjoy life. Will you accept
the help that is being
offered to you today to get well
and get on it? Yes, I will. Come here, sweetie. [All cheering] Oh, darlin'. [Both talking at once] Where's the preacher? Come here, sissy. [Snorts] Good to see
the big brother. Sylvia: Bill's letter
was so sweet. What he said
that I really appreciated was that I didn't have to be
the belle of the ball anymore. If I didn't come back
as that person, maybe I can find
my new self. This is the letter
that my oldest daughter
wrote to me. "Mama, you always said
that your kids "were the greatest
blessing God has
ever given you. "So if you can't
get better for yourself, "do it for us, Mama. I love you
with my whole heart
and then some." Ta-da!
Ta-da! Here, sweetheart,
let me help ya. OK. OK, put your foot
down in there. Yeah.
All right. Sylvia, this is
Dr. Jerry Brown. Hi. Glad to
meet ya. Sylvia: Dr. Brown.
Nice to meet you, too. OK, we're
right this way. I think Sylvia's shakiness
is very typical of people when they're coming off
large amounts of alcohol. Then we need to keep
really close tabs on her
until she's stabilized. Are you excited
about being here,
or are you... The 90 days scares me
a little bit because I won't
see my kids, but I know
they're very happy
for me to be here. Dr. Brown: I think
Sylvia will do quite
well in treatment. She has an openness
about, uh, the disease. She knows she's in trouble. She just seems
very motivated, and that's the biggest indicator
that she'll do well. Sylvia: It's gorgeous,
absolutely gorgeous. I want to come out of this
totally sober. I want my children
to see me sober. I just want to be well. - I've had a very successful
career as an interior designer. Hey there. Can I get, um,
five of these little red tops? - Yes, ma'am. <i>- But there is nothing
beautiful about my life now.</i> [screaming] I hate this [bleep]! <i>- She's fallen so far</i> so fast <i>that I think she's really
come to the point</i> <i>where she sees no way out.</i> <i>In the time span
of less than a year</i> <i>came the most crushing
blow of all.</i> - I lost custody
of my children. And I don't blame
their daddy for that. I didn't deserve
to have them. Where are my babies? Where are my babies? Where are my babies? <i>My children--I could
have my children back</i> <i>if I could quit drinking.</i> But I just--
I just can't get there. <i>- Sylvia, I've been here
since yesterday,</i> <i>and I met with these guys,</i> and they just
love you like crazy. <i>Sis, all I want
is for you to be well</i> and enjoy life. <i>Will you accept the help that
is being offered to you today?</i> - Yes, I will. <i>- Love you, sweetie.</i> - [cheering] [laughter] - Darling. Oh. [cell phone ringing] - Hey, Sylvia. - Hi, Jeff! <i>- Hi! How are you?</i> - I'm doing great. Thank you so much
for getting in touch with me. <i>- Well, I know you
have been pretty tenacious</i> about your recovery. <i>- As a matter of fact,</i> <i>I went back to school,
and in three weeks,</i> <i>I will have
my Master's of Science</i> <i>in addictions counseling.</i> - That's really incredible. I am happy about that. <i>- I also wanted to tell you</i> that I've been
doing interventions for the past 2 1/2 years now. <i>- That is wonderful.</i> <i>Feels like the cavalry
have arrived.</i> - The cavalry have arrived, and I had such a great
inspiration with you. I have to honestly say, if it had not been
for that intervention, I don't think I'd be
having this conversation with you today. <i>- I am so happy for you.</i> <i>It's so good to see you,</i> <i>and bye for now.</i> - Let's stay in touch, okay? <i>- Okay.</i>
- All right. Thank you. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
