India vs Sudia Arabia | Gabriel Iglesias

the saudis had such an amazing sense of humor they were laughing and carrying on and i had no idea they were going to be like that and then after the show i got a chance to meet some of the locals and one guy was almost in tears he was so emotional he walks up to me and he's just like i cannot believe that i am standing here in front of you mr fluffy oh thank you please please when you return to united states or wherever you travel let the people know what you saw okay let them know that we are not all bad that we are not all those bad people from fox news okay you let them know because we see fox news and fox news believes that everybody in middle east is back everybody's terrorist everybody has a bomb he has a bomb he has a bomb he has a bomb opera is here giving away bumps to everybody everybody [Applause] please you let them know we are not all bad people okay we are not all terrorists my cousin maybe what i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding look at your face look at your face oh i'm going to die look at you a plane what plane i got you again he is raising my blood pressure every seven seconds and then he starts breaking it down for me how stand-up comedy is starting to bring people together in the middle east and how he's starting to do you know he's doing comedy it was crazy the conversation you know here in the in saudi arabia um people they like watching the the standard comedy because we love to laugh okay we love to love it it's great to laugh and people don't think that people in middle east have sense of humor they they see videos they see tv they think we are the same they say oh immediately people are all angry look at their face they're angry everybody angry everybody mad everybody angry my friend we're not angry it's hot okay it's 117 degrees everybody is not mad they're hot look at everybody has a hot face hot face everybody hot face i promise you give me air conditioning i am so happy we are okay we love to laugh i've been doing the standup comedy for about six months now and um i have jokes good for you may i try oh great all right man go ahead okay very nervous very nervous okay here we go okay here we go two jews walk into a bar not in my country you're gonna get my ass arrested bro martine and i just got back from india yeah so let me tell you i started posting on facebook and twitter that we were gonna go out there to do these shows and then people started sending me messages questioning what i was gonna do first of all are they gonna understand you in india will they understand english okay will they be able to follow along with your stories once we got there i come to find out that more people speak english in india than in all of the us and canada put together might as well throw mexico in there for extra credit because there's that many people and yes they have the internet they got the internet they got bollywood they got hollywood they understand american culture so much more than we understand theirs second thing people tried to warn me about going over there gabriel be careful india is a third world country don't drink the water in india it contains parasites that'll make you really sick don't eat the food from the street people especially the street meat it contains a parasite that'll make you really sick and most importantly there's a lot of crime over there don't stay out late when the sun goes down you go down i'm like is it that bad parasites i'm like let me get this straight there's a lot of crime don't stay out late don't eat any of the food from the street vendors and don't drink the water why does that sound familiar that's mexico [Applause] when martina and i got over there we found out that indian people and mexican people have so much in common you guys i'm telling you it's insane how similar we are especially the food the food is so similar for example mexicans love tortillas indian people love naan bread which is a fluffier form of a tortilla mexicans love chicken indians love chicken mexicans love hot and spicy indians invented hot and spicy most popular drink in mexico is fanta most popular drink in india is fanta indian people worship cows mexicans love barbecues a lot of similarities most of the people that i met over there were very hardworking and humble and i got to tell you every time i talked to someone i was always greeted the same way they'd look at me they put their hands together they do a little bow and they say namaste which is an endearing hello it's really nice and sweet and then i noticed that indian people when you're talking to them do this thing with their head where it will begin to move side to side as they're speaking now first when you notice that you think oh he slept wrong he just got a kink in his neck get a tempur-pedic now when they they start speaking their head starts moving and i notice this the guy is checking us into the hotel and he's really cool he's like listen if you have any problems at all okay you call the front desk you press zero we will send somebody to your room to help you whatever you need we got it for you right here okay it's very good now one thing i notice is the more they talk and the more excited indian people get the more the head starts to move around somebody at the hotel yelled out to the clerk that's fluffy and the guy was like oh my god i don't believe it i can do it i thought it was you i thought it would oh my even crazier than that is that the mouth is actually connected to the neck when the mouth stops moving the head stops wherever the mouth left off and when you see indian people talking to each other you can see it okay let me tell you something okay hold up wait wait wait wait wait hold on wait okay like if you're indian and you stutter you are so screwed never i i i i i somebody stop him i'm not gonna lie you guys when i first saw this happen i thought it was hysterical i thought it was funny but then i started thinking about it head movement is just a form of expression no matter where you live in this world people express themselves in their own unique way whether through facial expressions hand gestures body movement extra words everywhere you go things are different and that's just how they express themselves in india now back to the whole indians mexican thing that is something else that we share in common with indian people head movement now some of you in the building tonight are like stupid we don't have head movement yes we do it's a little different see with indian people the head movement is side to side mexicans our head movement is front to back the difference between that is that with mexicans we have to be very very upset in order for you to see the head movement otherwise you can't tell with indians it's all the time oh today's such a nice day it is such a beautiful day today i'm so happy it's very nice very good oh my god i can't believe it's so nice it's such a mexicans when we're mad that's when it comes out for non-latinos hey trust me you cut off a mexican in traffic see what happens that's funny i don't know why the black people are laughing you guys take it all oh no you didn't oh hell no i know he ain't talking about me i hit a bell i hit a bell i made myself dizzy so let me tell you guys if you ever get the opportunity to travel to india i encourage you to check it out you are going to see some beautiful things you are going to see some amazing things you are going to see some sad depressing things and some real horrible things overall it's a well-balanced trip but when you get back home here to the united states you will have a whole different appreciation for your life believe that i guarantee this you guys there's a lot of people in india and with a lot of people comes a lot of traffic first things first american traffic and indian traffic very different here whatever happens on the freeway will stop the whole freeway in india there's 10 times the traffic but it moves see the problem is americans we're fascinated by accidents we're fascinated by the idea of seeing potential death that's why we slow down on the freeways we say we don't want to see it but what happens in traffic what's going on over there [Music] there doesn't even have to be a collision you could be on the 101 freeway and a car has a tire blow out and it spins doesn't hit anything it's now facing oncoming traffic you know what happens to the rest of the freeway even on the other freeway where there's no accident and again what's going on what's going on i'm sorry hey somebody might be dead sorry [Applause] in india if there's an accident in the middle of the street you know what they do they drive right around it they don't stop and it's not that they're not sensitive to the situation they are it's just that there's so much chaos that happens on a regular basis they just need to get to work they do see what's happening and believe me they're heartfelt you know they'll drive around i'm so sorry for you nothing stops the flow of traffic in india they need to get from point a to point b and so they go they go there's an accident they drive around if there's something blocking the street they get on the sidewalk to go around it's amazing the way they drive and here's something else no one uses turn signals over there no one uses turn signals they use a horn now if you go to india tomorrow from the time you get there to the time you leave you're constantly going to hear a horn it's an actual language when people are driving i'll show you you're driving light up ahead they talk to each other while they're driving and they barely miss each other every single time also you'll be on the 101 freeway here and there'll be six lanes in india you'll see six lanes but guess what you'll see 12 cars across yes they have lines but they're basically there to let you know more or less the direction you might want to go in they're this close to each other and even at the light they communicate you see everything cars trucks vans motorcycles pedestrians cows children all waiting for the light and they talk at the light with the horn very good you can go you can go welcome you're welcome go go nothing stops the flow of traffic over there indian people drive think of ants you know how ants travel in a straight line and if there's something in the way like a rock ants will split up go around the rock and reunite or climb over the rock worst case scenario they dig a hole and go under the rock that's the mentality of driving in india a man can get shot in the middle of the street people just look at each other somebody pick him up and they'll drag his ass onto the sidewalk and if there's an accident and they need to get around guess what's going to happen to that guy on the sidewalk nothing stops the flow of traffic in india except a cow now i know we've always heard the stories and the jokes about all indian people don't eat hamburgers i asked the question and i found out it's believed that cows are people who have died and they've been reincarnated and their new life is now the cow which is why they don't eat them and why they give them all the love and respect in the world over there i saw this first hand there's a cow crossing the street while we're driving and the cows know they're cocky they know that they can cross all the car and the cows out there i'll cog [Music] no one honks at the cows no one yells at the cows no one touches the cows they wait for the cows to finish crossing the cow that we had laid down the driver just shut off the car started tweeting there is a cow in the middle of the street hashtag momo i asked the driver what's going on there is a cow i see that there's a cow are you gonna honk at it go around what's what's gonna happen uh we cannot uh we cannot uh hunker the cow we must wait for the cow to move you're kidding i am not kidding we must wait for the cow we drove past a dead body 15 minutes ago that is probably him [Applause] like seriously the driving situation over there is so intense you guys one morning one morning while we're there i needed to get to the airport fast because i overslept and so i get in the cab and i hand the driver a 50 bill and i go sir i am running very late i need to get to the airport as soon as possible whatever side street you have to take or back road i'm all for it whatever you have to do let's do it and i hand him the money and he goes very good let's go and we take off the guy is hitting anywhere from 50 to 70 miles an hour on the street we are making incredible time i notice that we're heading in the direction of a red light have you ever been in a car with someone and you're paying attention to what's going on and you notice that you're about to hit a red light and you know how you start to mentally and physically prepare yourself for the deceleration of the car and you start anticipating the pressure from the brake and if you don't get the sensation of slowing down by a certain point all alarms go off in your head and you sock the driver in the chest not only did i not get the sensation of slowing down i got the opposite he gunned it towards the light and it caught me off guard i couldn't even scream i was like and then and then i got air hey pull over [Music] he didn't even know what he did he looks at me he goes what is wrong what do you mean what is wrong dude didn't you see the red light as calm as can be didn't you see there was no one there you told me whatever you have to do okay whatever you have to do you do out of all the countries i performed in my favorite country outside of home is australia and i'll tell you why australia much like us in america has its list of priorities you know what's not on the list political correctness they do not care about your feelings it's like a country full of daves believe it or not it's very refreshing to be around such a large group of people who speak their minds so freely and if you know that before you go there you're going to have an amazing time but if you don't know that and you show up it is a culture shock and a half because i showed up and i didn't know everybody says you got to see the beaches and i went to the beach i had people coming up to me hey somebody help me get them back in the water yeah right there big fella look at you right there oh look he's moving he's moving he's moving oh he's crying he's crying i bet it tastes like gravy [Applause] it's not bullying if everyone does it yeah that being said i'm in australia sydney australia at the opera house for me it was one of the most iconic places i've ever got to perform and it was bucket list definitely after the show i wanted to go hang out with some aussies and see what that was like i'm hanging out at a pub first things first australian people do not drink fosters beer that's an american thing they don't drink that over there i tried ordering one to fit in didn't go over well bartender looked at me hey you like the taste of piss do ya okay don't order that again so i'm hanging out with these two aussies and we're drinking a rum called bundy berg at first glance it looks like a coca-cola bottle because there's a polar bear on the front and then you drink it and you're like that's not coco as we're talking a third australian joined the conversation and he sounded a little bit different from the other two he had more of a raspy voice more like oh yeah he sounded like a drunk pirate underwater these two guys didn't like him so they called him a name and they left and now it's just me and drunk pirate we're talking about life life in america life in australia talking about our differences he tells me that he's a professional knife maker he's showing me how it's done he's showing me pictures we wind up polishing off three bottles of this rum and drunk wasn't even the right word to describe our level my tour manager ryan he comes up to me and he says gabe time to go and i look at ryan and i'm like but ryan i just made a friend and he makes knives and they're pretty my tour manager always knows how to talk to me no matter what condition i'm in if i'm drunk he knows better than to talk to me like i'm an adult he talks to me like i'm too he looks at me and he says hey buddy you hungry [Applause] well listen if we don't leave right now they're going to close mcdonald's and you're going to have to eat at the airport i got a girl oh my you gotta go you gotta go no worries and he goes to shake my hand and when he shook my hand he put his personal pocket knife that he made in my hand as a gift as for you mike thanks for being noise thank you thank you i'mma cut cheeseburgers with this you

Channel: Gabriel Iglesias

Views: 4,476,936

Keywords:

Id: 1GSd38VTvA8

Length: 22min 27sec (1347 seconds)

Published: Sat May 21 2022