I'm The Alpha

question one when you travel you usually oh i'm a lone ranger i only travel alone i'm the alpha male oh man that's really sad oh [ __ ] you it's actually pretty cool actually so next question when you're traveling do you follow the itinerary or are you more spontaneous oh i hate i hate routine i it needs to be spontaneous otherwise it's not even worth it and what about politics oh i love them if you disagree with our country's government i can't honestly i can't get enough about politics in fact i'm one of the main driving forces for change in the political spectrum i argue on twitter all the time about politics so yeah i'm i'm out there doing the best i can right on oh one last question when you watch a movie you do so to go mainly to think about politics and how it relates to my life to be honest hundreds a brigade died carrying explosive devices crashed into the mountain triggering its peak to collapse we have seven dollars in a dream baby oh this is definitely not a real taxi driver [ __ ] inspector gadget over there easy 20 bucks [Music] hey jared oh i'm gonna be a got some badass to be a brigade i'm assuming this guy lost someone in the brigade attack so now he's just out for vengeance you like it right grab the can i'm gonna wait now put gas on everything in the van everything we're gonna watch it burn that's the surprise go but tell the other brigade i'm coming for them to lola hey thanks for the cassette tape idiot i'm not really in the mood for a chat yeah i just committed a crime any thoughts on the election [Laughter] they'll just be super political about it of course i have do you have any thoughts on hassan's house my job thanks recent matt golden no let's talk about it yeah let's get it all out there you don't seem like a bad person officer just confused confused you liberals crashed who made you boss i'm in charge now lady you're stunned to irritate me and what are you going to do about it i voted for flores citizens should be able to arrest cops you know that to keep them up oh i really want to keep pressing but i don't know i want to see if she starts blasting [Music] it no no jesus christ ringo stars awake ah [ __ ] shoot him i'm gonna need assistance transferring the prisoner over damn you monster oh god wait what that's that's that's a lot of paperwork that's a pretty reckless discharge of a firearm i think why can't i check the trash am i not athletic enough to open a trash can lid man i am very short [Music] yeah let's do it what's that big why is it a big boy i could suck his dick standing up oh my god oh sorry sorry jesus oh good lord we're live well do you want to retry me bring riches to our already rich let's go riches i'm gonna be honest with you you're the worst camera person in the history of camera i'm not i'm not a camera person oh nothing oh my god air the [ __ ] is this oh now i can oh this is what i need to go through trash she gave me the ability to dumpster dive let's [ __ ] go [Applause] i like chucky finster let's go nigel thornberry believes we should abandon [Music] garbage fossil fuels for the wind am i right gamers fossil fuels [Music] oh god oh man they're getting [ __ ] up [Applause] 30 dollars that's just enough to buy everything in the world all of our taxis are currently busy please call again another day i've been scammed i've been [ __ ] scammed what a waste of a dollar calling again are they busy now all of our taxis are currently oh who do i vandalize let's vandalize this guy because i already booed him might as well commit idiot can i just vandalize them both vote me instead this rave sounds great oh this is probably dancing carl if i had to guess you need to join if you can hang on oh yeah let's run it no one can really dance with me i'm on another level knock yourself out jesus christ see what i mean about not being able to dance with me can i get through the fire in the flames on trombone please [Music] [Applause] i should be recording this this sounds like every trombone i've ever heard shut the [ __ ] up stan lee i like the trombone i'm just sorry for you oh yeah let's run it that's sweet but i think i need to travel online i'll [ __ ] you then what you got a boyfriend or something i'm out i'm taking the trombone with me we should be god damn it nice guys and trombone players and never get the girl what do you think kid let's go what do you think not truths really [Applause] [Music] all right i'm not gonna crash it i am curious what would happen but i also don't feel like restarting the entire dialogue through here [ __ ] damn we're really cranking in the nos now holy [ __ ] could be a trap show this driver the beast mitch i'm ripping some ass why is he coming back oh nice person people like that don't deserve engine trouble oh no getting closer we are we almost got that psycho this time [Music] [Applause] [Music] freedom is so close i can almost smell the fossil fuel come on baby it should be fine i don't need shelter how do i push through without shelter [Music] oh i can become the new terrorist i don't see any reason not to oh no back-to-back health losses no good no good very stinky no hang in there scripted all right let's run it come on take oh this i'm gonna die oh maybe not we're good smoke after therapy close call what is this purple flirt from jimmy neutron what is he giving me here it's a tribute to my beautiful daughter lola thanks theresa gulping glizzies this was a mistake it didn't help none of it destroying the tree talking talking it only made things worse you should run run guys like bruce banner with a hulk inside of him oh my baseball bat what the [ __ ] sure sure take my walkman what are we playing pong again played before i like to know my opponents oh it's connect four you're so [ __ ] i probably won't win this i haven't played kinect 4 since i was a kid let's see how good the ai okay ai's not talking [ __ ] [Music] [ __ ] can't do that i think this is going to be a stalemate oh i win oh no i wasn't looking yes run that back [Music] hey she's nuts ah i've got myself in a real [ __ ] pickle here wait what oh my god oh my god so do you like the music don't worry about hurting my feelings i'm a big girl [Music] oh my god i got swept wow music sucks your music's [ __ ] trash [Music] my father is the minister of oil oh my god keep it down did you kids say something shut the [ __ ] up uh just that you have a great fan happy to hear you say that he's alright he said that but thanks barbecue no road control you go over the speed limit no i mean i don't think so oh god damn they [ __ ] flew in here holy [ __ ] well for a donation i suppose i could look the other way thank you officer wait wait you're not really gonna pay this guy zoe stop it's people like you that are ruining this country but they're saving my excuse me i'm gonna get [ __ ] executed zoe they're saving me please god no pay him oh come on this turd in a uniform isn't gonna do anything no don't say that's it what have you done so oh you're reading too much [ __ ] twitter come on what do we do [ __ ] oh there's no reason to stay in the [ __ ] car now here i come zoe what ha trying to help zoe and tripped wait what the [ __ ] annie and jeff just drove off they could have just waited for me to stand back up clearly not much time had passed since zoe was still in the cop car they couldn't they literally saw me falling like oh my god [ __ ] took off but i don't need it anymore hey what are you talking about back there uh tits and rock and roll what does it matter to you cop yeah the game's pretty good so far and it's jared's taxi we just got so [ __ ] lucky a pro rev but not pro smoking that's that's [ __ ] lame i can't fist this one i i can't hit this with the old [ __ ] bro fist here i'm just gonna go with i'll take up smoking no to the old customers in the trunk huh sorry i didn't just talk to me i want to help i want to stay with jared though i want to learn more about jared so i don't really want to get out but i feel like staying with him is a bad idea too who's gonna kill me [Music] what do you want me to do i'm like [ __ ] 15 or something jared's [ __ ] awesome i have 50 seconds to look around oh [ __ ] oh god damn it i did get an ability so that's good at least but i didn't want to leave i was just clicking fast because i was on the clock i see now why leaving money is an option so that way you can buy some [ __ ] when you get here from another character so i will leave money 20 okay never mind i can only leave it in increments of 20. what the [ __ ] is that all the way over there is that the secret tunnels must be because the mountain path is that way i could go down there and convince a guard but let's do this okay before we go farther i'll need what we agreed on i don't have any money this is a business you don't pay i don't stay then good luck with the guard i'm out of here sorry kid you're on your own i wha okay oh can i can i leave because i didn't i didn't want to go on this journey oh my god i'm so [ __ ] how unlucky okay [ __ ] it here i come oh god the guards are in the trees don't be scared oh hey this guy's probably a spy and he's carrying a pokedex for some reason and you're seriously trying to that's huge right now but this is as low as i go zero dollars oh my god can i sprint through this get back here my god hopefully the other guys use it like i'm using him as a meat shield i hope he's absorbing the bullets come on come on come on come on god they've got the apache out what the [ __ ] is happening all right your sacrifice wasn't in vain let's go [Music] i was pretty clean i'd say flawless run all things considered except for the guy who died but that's his fault jared i'm starting to think they'll never quit they want to put a stop to me i can't let that he is a very honest guy think they're fans of hers twisted oh it's stan and mitch it didn't even occur to me wrong with your doors is he going to push me out of the car if i unlock it jared i just want to talk to you bro if i unlock this door i know you're going to push me out oh i see what you're doing i can play this game all night jared okay you win i don't want to drop him off i'm trying to [ __ ] talk to the guy oh [ __ ] he's got a piece you picked the wrong guy to pick up you know that i was just being nice now drive all right this was part of my plan anyway jared really all right do you listen to the news often oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] he doesn't strike me as a guy who likes the news i'm gonna have i'm gonna have to go with a no never for [Music] i bet sure are listening just before you pick me up [ __ ] okay tell me something else and this is important what do you think about sonia sanchez i hate her i know you hate her right because you were just talking about stan and mitch who love her and say that they were twisted by yeah she sucks that's how i feel uh-huh you're not just saying easy ring i didn't do anything wrong um she just move a finger to save her under those rods not one nor do those brigades they'll pay too stop that car but we were just starting to have some fun oh okay okay i've decided what i'm gonna do to you i'm going to kiss me on the mouth zoe you dumb [ __ ] good to see you really [ __ ] me last time here i don't even i really don't wanna but all right don't let them see you my dad must have found out where i was no it's probably from you directly challenging an officer who was gonna let us go for no [ __ ] reason that's i think that's probably what it was zoe stop deflecting easy come on get ready to run no [ __ ] jared help zoe is nothing but [ __ ] trouble literally nothing in zoe's storyline works when you try and help her [ __ ] you gotta believe me you're worthless zoey you're actually worthless do you hear that you're in help oh [ __ ] is that the boy wonder jared the girl must be inside oh the brigade wants zoey because she's the daughter of iraq well didn't work nope hey friends stan you there wanna be part of something big yes a break in probably the best ever best ever you say that before all our crimes and every time it's true oh that sounds cool prime you use my lucky lockpick to get in it's lucky because i've never had to actually use it oh [ __ ] finally let's do this but uh maybe you'd like to ask us something first are you guys gonna vote yeah oh no something's beeping hello this is security we're responding to an alert everything all right you'll want to close and lock all windows in the future sir anyway thank you for your explanation of course thank you very much bye bye yeah whatever kid i'm waiting sir what is the password it's probably gonna be smile or something who worked oh man he's a tier one frankie the heck kid are you seeing this hold on there's tape on the camera oh it's already been robbed we knew something by jared you've asked for it you're screwed kid let's get out of here sorry little buddy i don't need to apologize you're fine i need to get out though uh grab the chair he's a prime prize team [Applause] free car yeah that makes sense i have the papers so now i get a little more from fanny's storyline i have the registration i don't have my license for obvious reasons oh here we go bartholomew vanderbilt really i just shaved [ __ ] she saw right through the bartholomew disguise central we got a situation here these brigades think they're going to take me down poor peach buzz i got news for them when you go for the queen you better not miss god damn we're coming in hot hopefully this doesn't get added to my charges oh sorry he's clean [ __ ] drifting this [ __ ] around we got him oh my god was that like a clown in there what the [ __ ] was that man there's like eight people at this rave also this lady is like 50 years old again actually oh there's no way i can't beat this guy's ass get the [ __ ] out of here oh god oh out played yeah oh man he's getting slapped around i'm too good i'm so smooth this guy sucks play me again to free god this guy's legs are just spread and he's inviting me in he didn't even try oh god ready here we go [Applause] chet uh there's no [ __ ] way to get this besides just getting lucky wow clip and slow-mo that's genius let's see if chat's good enough to get it without that that's wrong it's i don't think it's let me watch that again i actually lost it again somehow middle right left right left middle left right it's right luckily i didn't listen to chat because it's right not middle chad would have [ __ ] me in the ass i don't know kid i thought she was with you i really hope something bad didn't happen to her hmm i'm gonna take the bus i have enough money and i haven't taken the bus yet i have met every character on this one pretty much [Music] the only character i haven't met yet is alex on this one this has been a big run [Music] and here's alex what a good run you're wondering what i'm doing just hacking into super supper to give everyone in petrie a free burger those capitalist pigs need to spread a little wealth around what about you okay whatever you say all right let's go 14. but i got crazy skills other dogs want to be this dog you know what i'm saying that's a really stupid expression never heard that thanks home slice here for your help oh another new cassette tape we did it oh no well at least 347 people got free burgers i can live with that i encountered every single character on this journey here this is a pretty big one okay let's see if government oh pick why oh [ __ ] i thought this was just gonna be items okay we're hanging on [Music] oh luckily i have full health i'll actually be fine i think come on come on [Music] come on oh we [ __ ] got it all right well it still worked out freedom two escapes now nothing is more important

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 2,015,031

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Id: O5Vn1vlBDIg

Length: 30min 33sec (1833 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 24 2021