Subtitles by tobyMacFan221's TheTMF, EK (Pen Name), and Mason *whistling noises from a fat walrus* Child: Oh. Hey excuse me. Really strange question, right? But when you whistle, do you suck in or blow out? Cuz I can't whistle blowing out watch: *quiet whistling* Child: But when I suck in: *better whistling* Child: Easy! So I guess I'm really good at sucking right. (I think I know what u mean) *laffin' noises* Child In Demonic Voice LAUGH OR I'LL KILL U! >:) *decides to laugh because he didn't wanna be killed cuz he's fat* *child walks away while walrus is still laughing* Walrus: OOOH! I was so scared! *dog sniffing for food and junk* Big Dog: I smell sarcasm. Hey bitch. Smaller Dog: I smell dog. Big Dog: We're gonna be in grambody heaven. It's the goat child! Child: Giraffe! Get it right! Smaller Dog: I'm smelling a badass action sequence Sans: No, that's just me lunch Child: SANS! :D (YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's back lads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also P.S. LET'S GET SMAAAAAAAAAAASHED!!!) Sans: I've got your back, lad. Child: *gasp* Lad! :( (Oh yeah! I forgot Lad existed) Sans: Oh, sorry mate. Um... *says some weird skeleton gibberish and pulls out the Grim Reaper's favorite toy* Sans: Some of them want to use you, and some of them like me want to be used by you. Demononic Child: HURRRRGH! Demonic Child: Screw taking these dogs to the pound, let's just give them a pound! >:) Not the currency that is (I know that!) like an actual- Sans: Yeah, I got it mate, I got it. Demonic Chile: WOOF!!!! *A very long fighting sequence. To pass the time, I'll give you a joke: Why did I start typing subtitles? Because I have no purpose in life! :D Sans: Mate I love headaches! :D Smaller Dog: When we kill the child, where do u wanna go to for vacation? Big Dog: Let's have a relaxing day at the lake Smaller Dog: ERRGH! You're so boring! Let's go skydiving! (Great. Skydiving dogs. My lifelong dream) Big Dog: I don't like heights! Smaller Dog: You're such a baby! Big Dog: You're so controlling *both dogs say woof. great a dog argument. I hate this* Demonic Child: Trouble in paradise? Smaller Dog: What's the deal, Pigeon Boy? Demonic Child: Giraffe! If weapons aren't working, let's see how you can handle MARRIAGE COUNSELING!! Big Dog: He's discovered our weakness! D: Demonic Child: YOU'RE BOTH INSECURE!! *dogs yelling* Demonic Child: You both came out of a long relationship, and you have both each other's rebound! *dogs yelling again* Demonic Child: You only stay together, because you're scared u won't find somebody else! Big Dog: AUUGH! I can't handle the truth! Smaller Dog: OHH! It hurts so bad!! Demonic Child: Not to mention your boyfriend cheated on you with a llama! (wait, wat?) Smaller Dog: *gasps* Big Dog: WHAT? How did you know that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Demonic Child: Oh I didn't, I bluffed. (And your bluff turned out to be true.) But now you're BUUUSTED!!!!!!! Big Dog: If it's any consolation, she smelled really weird. (The llama or you're dumped wife?) *ANOTHER long fighting sequence of a dog killing her husband. Hey, how about another joke? Why can't I lick my elbow. Oh wait. I can. But it's because 99% of people can't do it! But 90% of people reading this will try. I got it from a Weird but True book. Sans: Yeah, can you pass it up, mate? Child: Yeah sure. (YAAAAAAAAAAY! It's his normal voice again! Why am I still here?) *Throws soft drink at Sans. I can't blame him. I don't like fountain drinks either. I prefer it either canned or bottled* *ANOTHER long fighting seque- oh you know what, forget it!* Smaller Dog: Ah. Much better :) Sans: May I? Child: Go on, then. *looks like a dang idiot when he screams weirdly and puts on 3D glasses. Sans, why must you torment me?* Narrator Person: Welcome back to "The Nightly Flower Show" with Flowey the *trying to say flower, but says gazelle f*ck instead* *applause* Flowey: Thank you. Thank you Flowey: Let me start off by saying: You guys see what the president did today? (no) I was like: "Wow that was so dumb." *laughter* Flowey: Yeah, you see how niave- Flowey: You know what I'm talking about. (Am I the only person who doesn't?) If I feel like a little *something* walking on stage every day and say: "Hey, you know... Flowey: "what our president has done?" And you'll all laugh. (I still don't get it.) *laughter* Flowey: Like how are you laughing now? Cuz I've done that for the past 10 days now. Yeah, it's not that funny Flowey: Is it really (It is) cuz they? Flowey: Yeah, the president's stupid right? (no) *audience laughing and Flowey laughing enthusiastically* Flowey: Kill me. Flowey: Anyway, here's our guest: THE GENDERLESS CHILD!! :D *cheerful music and applause* Child: Uhhh... Child: Hello? Flowey: Come here, child. *decides to wrap a vine around the child, and the child doesn't like that (or anything else)* Flowey So glad you can make it on the show! Child: I thought I walked into a Subway. Flowey: Oh, you won't be doing that child unless you want to kill yourself, *laughs* *audience laughs* Child: I meant as in food. Flowey: *slightly stutters* I know child! (you obviously don't) Flowey: These audience members came all the way from the surface for this. (They did?) Child: *quietly* How? Flowey: Through the hole. (So they invaded the child's home?) Child: Then how are they gonna get back? *blank!* Flowey: Well, sh*t I didn't think about that. (Of COURSE you didn't! Ur a flower!) Child: Yeah, you're all gonna die! *why are they even laughing this time?* Child: Yeah it's funny, isn't it? *sarcastic laughing* Flowey: So, child, how do you feel being on television 24/7? Child: Delightful. Flowey: *stuttering* How does it feel to kill munsters in the Underground? Child: Riveting. *loss of words! (How can he even talk in the first place? He's a flower.)* Flowey: Here's a clip at the karaoke segment we did with the child! :D Child: So you're saying I can get there in 20 minutes? Papyrus-Sounding Creature: YEAH! :D Child: Well come on! Hurry up, then! Papyrus-Sounding Creature: OK! :D *Party Music* *laughing* *Party Music* Child: Hey, you know I've got a pretty big headache right now. *Audience laughing* *Party Music* Creature That Doesn't Sound Like Papyrus Anymore: SING WITH ME-HEE! Child: No. Creature That Doesn't Sound Like Papyrus Anymore: SING WITH ME! *Audience laughing* Child: No! Child: That's it you're getting one star. (THE HORRORS OF ACTING! 1 STAR!!!!!!!) *thing starts to sing terribly again* *child decides to take over the driver's seat because why not?* *screams* *laughing* Flowey: How did that feel, child a pretty fun karaoke session huh? Child: The greatest. Flowey: So *stuttering* I heard your dad was a doctor. (Great. A giraffe doctor) Child: Yeah he was. Yeah Flowey: Oh really? Child: Yeah, man. He used to dissect that grass every day. (Since when can you dissect plants?) He was so good in fact, he wouldn't even use surgical tools. Just used his mouth, why not? He's got every degree into the sun. *audience laughing* Flowey: That was a good joke, child. Child: What joke? (Wait, so it wasn't a joke?) Flowey: That's all we've got time for today, folks. Tune in on "Flowey Live" for live coverage of the child on his killing escapades! :D Flowey: Tata for now. *looks at child* Wave, child. Wave. Child: For God's sake, if you shut up, then yes. fine. *waves while audience is cheering* Old Audience Dude: Well I guess the show's over. Time to leave. *gets vines wrapped around him and everybody else* Oh my! Flowey: Oh ho ho! You ain't going nowhere! Cuz you guys are all gonna sit there and watch my Flowey the TV show! >:) *audience screaming like girly 4-year olds* *Flowey laughs maniacally* Flowey: Oh, I love this part! :) TV Flower Thing: Ima flower! :D:D :D :D Flowey: *laughs* Classic. Child: Oh, finally! SNOWDIN!!! Child: Hello? Child: What is this? *reads note* "Please don't hurt my family" "P.S. we are out of milk." Child: Well, seeing as nobody's here: *murders a rubber duck* Child: *yawn* Stealing makes me tired. Child: Room for one please. Preferably with steel doors, a bodyguard, a gun, oh, and breakfast! That'll be great *stares at peanut cardboard cutout thing. what even is my life right now?* Child: Hello? What kind of establishment is this!? (A bad one) Hiring cardboard cutouts as employees? Worst hotel ever. One-star Fuck you. Peanut Cardboard Thing That Came To Life: I'm just doing my job. Child: Oh, yes, lads! Everybody! DRINKS ARE ON- me? *crickets chirp because no one's in the building* Child: It's dead! Sans: You alright, mate! (Well, there goes my theory about no one being in here.) Child: Of course you're here. Sans: I just realized: There are actually technically more nipples in the world than there are people. (Because everyone has two of them.) 0_0 Child: All right calm down Jayden Smith! Well, don't mind if I do. *sees Papyrus's face* Why? Papyrus: Sh*t! I was going to go "Boo" and scare you. I was waiting here for nine hours! :D NYEH HA! Sans: If a skeleton weighed a few tons. What a single skele-TON be a skele-TONS? Child: Shut up. *Guy walks into a bar like the old days* Guy: Don't mind if I do. Child: Think you're the wrong place, mate. Toy Story auditions are down the road. (XD) Guy: So. You're the one. Child: The one and only God. Guy: You're the murderer everybody's hiding from. (Um, because he's doing the GENOCIDE RUN, IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!) Sans: Oh, "Hide-and-Seek"! I love that game mate! I'm sick at it! Sans: That's why I call it "Hide-and-Sick". Cuz I'm sick. *chattering noises offscreen* Child: FYI, your monster friends attacked me first. Guy: That ain't what I've been hearing. (Are you deaf or something?) Child: Oh yeah? What have U been hearing? Guy: I hear a weird kind of clipping noise. *Finds Papyrus biting his fingernails. Oh great. That's worse than no internet.* Papyrus: Oh! Sorry. *Thinks fingernails taste good* Child: Can you get to the point already? Guy: This town ain't big enough for the 2 of us. (Great. Now we're in Texas.) Child: To be fair, It is quite a small town. Guy: Come. Child: What? Where? Guy: Outside. Child: Are you jokin'? It's FREEZING outside! I don't think so! Guy: I'll be waitin' for u. (Well then have fun getting frostbite, buddy. Hey! Wanna hear a frostbi- nevermind) *freezes and chatters with the cold* Guy: Are u comin' or not? Child: NO! It's freezing. I already said that! Child: You can't be like: *voice imitation* "I'm going outside!" and expect me to actually go outside. It's not life works! Guy: *grunts* FINE! Guy: We'll just do the duel in here. Child: Sure. Knock yourself out. Papyrus: Oh, I'm pretty good at that! :D *actually knocks himself out* (I don't think the child meant it like that) Guy: *knocks Sans out* Okay, how am I gonna? *just puts Sans on a table* Guy: You an' me right now genderless child! Child: Hold on x2. *drinks beer before fighting* *drunk!* Child: Hold on. What are we doing again? Guy: We both stand here like so. Guy: There you go. Now get your guns ready, then we stand here until we feel like shooting. But in the mea- Child: omae wa mou shindeiru *ded by a shuriken* Sans: (Oh he's conscious again?) When is a draw ever an actual draw? *outro 'n' stuff* Contributions to subtitles from tobyMacFan221's TheTMF (Original Subtitles), Mason (Unknown), and E.K. (Proof reading)
Jeesus fucking christ i thought undertale was dead
FOURTEEN?
It already has 14 PARTS?! 14 FUCKING PARTS??
I used to like the first 2 ones, but now it's just...... no.
Why won't this end?!
pls end me
That fucking thumbnail tho
DAMN IT I WANTED TO POST THIS
ALSO, WHY IS THIS STILL A THING?