if millennials had a nature show

wow what an absolute [ __ ] view i've been walking for the last 50 minutes to distance myself as far possibly as i can from human civilization whoa whoa hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey over here over here over here do you want to sell the show or not man okay we're just filming oh sorry farted i'm bear grylls also known as the man who drinks his own urine and by that i mean pbr ah piss again today i'll be doing the absolute unthinkable what my parents refer as going outside to a place called nature or as i call it absolute bloody [ __ ] hell i'm looking outside and i can't see a goddamn thing the lens caps are also still on i don't know the point of a lens cap what are you using this for a condom and now i can see much more clearly just how shitty the outside looks today we will do the unthinkable ah what in the [ __ ] is that feeling if you look closely there seems to be a giant light bulb in the sky radiating heat don't know what the [ __ ] it is but it is hotter than a hot pocket fresh out of the microwave do we have to do this can we like green screen all this inside we have to do it [ __ ] anyways on to the i've brought with me today the three key survival tips that's a jewel a mountain dew and crocs an absolute recipe for house arrest because i want to be back in the [ __ ] house we couldn't pick the colder day to do this well suck me sideways if you look closely we have a stumble across one of the world's largest dogs that's a horse there's [ __ ] where i will now pee this out and then re-drink it well no probably not actually if you look closely it seems as if we found a base camp a place where we can rest and definitely not touch our penises i'm going to touch my penis it appears to me that this is not actually an electrical outlet it is a place i i don't know what this is if you hear that right there that is actually the republican mating call if you listen it sounds like somebody is trying to make their bedroom great again after hearing gunshots i realize i have a gun of my own that i need to unload it has been approximately 13 minutes since i last touched my [ __ ] and i believe it is time to now empty my satchel please hold oh yeah that'll do i feel 10 pounds lighter now yeah what did you imagine wi-fi just uh watch your step over there it's not tree sap come yeah a bumble radius has still not yet moved i have yet to see one single bosom not even an utter i will now attempt the official millennial mating call girls well it looks like it's another time to go jerk off if you listen closely it sounds as if we are in the presence of a real life lion i only thought they were real on the lion king it turns out that kingdom is quite vast sounds as if the lions are getting closer we must go [ __ ] this nature [ __ ] is really starting to scare me it appears that there's a strange man that follows my every move get out of here strange man if you look closely it looks as if my very own stepfather has been here those rockies ain't blue but these balls are um i'm gonna go jerk off again wait are you serious yeah it seems as if the shadow man is still following me and he has brought his friends the other shadows i gotta get out of here oh jenkins tick tockers it seems as if the lions have gotten the best of them may they rest in peace or should i say may they rest in peace sheesh it looks as if we have stumbled across an out-of-order arby's which of course makes sense because who the [ __ ] would order at an arby's i wouldn't even eat that if i was homeless and after being in this rough terrain for 37 minutes i might as well be and i'm still not getting that roast beef oh god damn it this thing is tight how do women get out of these rompers at brunch i feel like i'm giving birth to a set of twins ow [Music] oh my god if you look here just wired headphones we must be in the bad part of the jungle strap on in boys aren't you supposed to drink that what the [ __ ] no i mean yes yes i will be drinking it i will collect it off the dirt and put it in a magic bullet to drink for later as you can see here i have collected my urine off the ground and i will now i will now drink it 100 my own urine it tastes like urine does that work do you think they'll believe it no last piece the key to staying alive in the wilderness is a solid fire i will now attempt to make my own fire using fire wait what yeah it's a lighter lovely we've stumbled across elk feces which is high in fiber so i will now eat all of it cut good all right it's poop time oh absolutely awful but i'm doing it for you guys at home so you don't have to guys i said i didn't want the ones with chocolate in it i said the cranberry ones that's [ __ ] ridiculous man i can't believe it we've come across our very first live animal today and instead of shooting them because i'm a millennial i'm just going to cancel them with tweets that have resurfaced from 2013. this you 2013 remember that you said a ukrainian hooker sorry sex worker huh yeah that's not very nice to talk about rudolph like that okay jealousy not a good trait all right so what's going on here what do you guys want you're an accomplice to this too okay pathetic okay i wouldn't even shoot you but i want you to live in that misery you see what i just did there is i took cancer culture and i shocked them with it hopefully they learned a lesson and i also have learned my lesson by never [ __ ] coming outside again this place is a hellhole yo man huh oh no i was just testing it to make sure that the elk weren't poisoned yeah you want something well i am back from arguably the worst day of my life and after talking to my own mother she says all i did was go on a hike i don't know what that is but i will never do that again now there is just one thing left to do beat my mate into oblivion what in the [ __ ] was that wait was that okay this is actually real no youtube videos worth this don't know what is happening back there it sounds as if somebody is shooting his shot somebody is just as horny as i am i'm actually terrified it appears i'm going to [ __ ] myself when more of those happens i've currently just [ __ ] my pants

Channel: Trevor Wallace

Views: 800,217

Keywords: nature, trevor wallace, joe rogan, trevor lawrence, stiff socks, cody ko, noel, noel miller, tmg, podcast, hike, bear grylls, man vs wild, danny, kurtis conner, comedy, parody, discovery channel, shark week, fails, trever wallace, travis wallace, trevor noah, trevor

Id: IW6bbpCQihE

Length: 7min 35sec (455 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 12 2021