-All right. We're checking out
the only game where you cure world hunger
by choking people out with their food. It's Eating Simulator. As you can see here,
this cursed baby needs some milk to drink. I'm not really sure why the milk
is in one giant solidified chunk. I think this means the milk is bad.
[chuckles] Also, how come this
is the most hideous child? Oh my God, the milk bounces. [chuckles]
Hold on. Look at this. [laughs] This is the most hideous child
in all of gaming. Oh, my milk is sliding off the table.
[laughs] It has a mind of its own. Oh, no, this thing can move too. Can you make the child
eat the entire bottle? I love how everything here
has its own physics. Oh, no, my milk is stuck somehow inside
of the [?]. [laughs] Oh, God. Oh, no. If I can get the child to drink the milk
through osmosis, does that count? Like if I pull the milk
through the child's skin? I had to restart this. Grab the whole bottle
and see if we can give the child-- Whoa. I was going to give the child the bottle. This kid is never going to stop crying. Any sustenance that he gets from the milk,
he's just going to lose through his tears. Oh, there we go. Oh, he's vomiting it out. Stop it. Just swallow the milk. Just drink the milk. Stop trying to shoot
it back out of your throat. Get in there.
Get in there. I don't know how that could-- Whoa, what is this? [laughs] Fido over here just attacked
the plate of bones. The animals and the people in this game
are the most cursed creatures I think I've ever seen in my life. Okay, so you grab
the bone and then you just put it-- Oh, the whole bowl can move. Oh, can I make him eat the bowl? Oh, yes. Hold on. How hungry are you, Fido? [laughs] Look at me.
It's like, "Christ, stop it." His tongue is like a-- it's almost like a wall. It's like a barrier. I can't get past it. Wear this as a hat here. Just right there. Just hold onto that for a moment. We're going to grab a bone,
put it on the tongue. Here we are. Hey, [?], you're swallowing
your own tongue and it's making my job really hard. I can't get it past its tongue. When he went nuts and he jumped
for the bones, his entire body moved so far up. [laughs] Get in tthere.
Uh-oh, I think I lost that bone. That's all right.
I got plenty more. I got plenty more. We're going to make this work one way
or the other. Can I get the bone to go under his tongue? Come on.
[laughs] I'm trying to move his organs to the side,
so I can get this bone down in his stomach. The dog right now is like,
"Gray, you're not feeding me. You're choking me to death." Listen, it's how you win in the game. Oh, he spit the bone out. Come on. Just eat it. Eat it. Oh, the bone is inside of his arm. [laughs]
Oh, God, it's lodged inside of his elbow. I'm so sorry. Oh, no.
All right. Here's the plan.
Here's what we're going to do. We're going to leave one bone here. Now, we're going to take another
bone, and we're going to use this bone like a battering ram. All right. We're going to smash
the bone down into his stomach. I can't believe how difficult
it is to feed this dog. The dog is looking crazier
and crazier as time goes on. I got to try
and get rid of his tongue somehow. I hate to say it, but I almost-- oh, here we go, here we go.
Yes. All right.
We got one bone. We can totally do this. I was almost going to say
I hate to think about this, but I almost have to somehow
just get rid of this dog's tongue, cut it out or something so I can get
these bones down his stomach. [laughs] Come on. Yes. Level complete. That was the hardest. Oh, what is this? [laughs]
It's a goose. Oh, no. It's like a chute of fish. Where are these fish coming from?
All right. You get the fish down the little chute,
and then the fish bloops out into the goose's mouth,
or duck or whatever this is. There we go. Then, it poops the fish out. Whoop. [laughs] Hold on. Can I use this fish again? Can I just re-feed him the same fish? Oh, this is efficiency. This is great. If I owned a duck company
and I had to feed all of the ducks and I could just re-feed them
the same fish over, think of the savings. Look at the fish getting twisted. [chuckles] Think of the savings that
this company will enjoy right now. Oh, the stockholders are going to
be very pleased that I have found a new way to feed our animals. This is great. How many fish
do I have to feed this thing? Maybe one fish doesn't count. Maybe you do need other fish. I fed him the same fish four times. I like how the fish is still alive. It just swam away. Let's grab another fish here
and put this down the chute. Perfect.
Oh, yes. Oh, it's like a conveyor belt. It does this itself. I don't have to feed the duck at all. See, now the one fish is pushing
the other fish to its death. This fish is like, "Maybe he won't need
any more to eat if you're ext." [laughs] It's pushing the fish. Here, let me help you. "Jerry, no, don't, you betrayed me." [laughs] Level complete. I saved a fish's life. I like water. It's an understatement. You don't like water. You need it as a way to survive. Where does the water go? Is it supposed to go in the mouth
and then it goes through his beard? Oh, the beard is penetrable. Oh, you can put the water
up his nose as well. Hold on.
Come on baby. Get in there.
Come on, get in there [?]. [laughs] I'm drowning this man alive. It doesn't matter. I like water. [chuckles]
I like fish. You and the duck.
[chuckles] What is wrong with these fish?
Oh God. These fish have back problems
or something. Look at how twisted they are. He's on the toilet.
[chuckles] I love that this guy
has really got his life streamlined because not only does he eat at the table, he just poops at the table too. It's great. How open-ended is this game? Can I take the fish-- Now, hold on a second. Follow me on this. Can I take this fish? Can I shove it under the toilet seat?
Like this way? No, it doesn't go? How about can I--
Oh, whoa. Oh, the whole table just broke. Oh, whoa. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hold on fish, don't run away. I need you. I need you
to complete the board. Get over here.
I want you to-- Oh, I can grab this. Can I feed him his own table? Listen, bro, you need
more fiber in your diet. Get in there.
[laughs] Who comes up with a game like this? I'm not going to lie. It is very hard to feed
a man his own dinner table. I have tried. Not for lack of trying. I haven't had a lot of success in it. All right, so let's grab a fish. I'm using the fish as almost
like a type of aftershave for this guy. It's been everywhere but in his stomach. There we go, right into the toilet bowl. Oh, all it took was one fish. This other fish can just-- What is this?
What is happening here? "I like noodle." Just one? What is this?
This is like instant cup noodle. When you peel the--
Oh, you do, you peel the top off. Can I feed him the top of the noodle? Yes.
Can I feed him the entire glass as well? Hold on.
Eat the glass. Oh, no, my glass. Come on noodles. We're going to have success
one way or the other. Eat the cup.
[chuckles] Yes, it's going down his throat. Come on, we're almost there. Oh no, I've got a real problem. The cup is now making it
so he can't swallow the doodles. Look, it's created a barrier. I've almost shoved this cup
down his throat. Hold on, maybe if we get more speed. Come on baby. There it goes. Yes. Now we grab the noodle. Now he can eat the noodle. [chuckles]
What's next? What is happening with these peppers? "I like red papper." Bro, I don't know if you want
to eat these peppers, man, they're alive. These peppers have a heartbeat. All right, so we're going
to give him the pepper. You got to pick the pepper first,
I assume. Man, it takes
a lot of effort to pick the peppers. Peppers don't really want--
come on, let go of the pepper. What is the soil made out of? Maybe you have to go from left to right. [grunts] What is happening? Oh my God, the pepper is trying to be
absorbed into his beard. I had to change it real quick
to a landscape view because for some reason
the peppers just go-- Oh, you can shove it up his nose. The peppers just go absolutely ballistic
when you play it in the landscape mode. How many peppers does
this guy want to eat? That's already two peppers. To be fair, at least the peppers aren't trying to escape
like they were-- There we go.
Yay. "I like burger." Oh my God, this dude could fit
an entire soccer ball down his throat. Look at the size. All right, so I got to know,
can I get the whole plate? Oh yes. Oh, this is happening right now. The whole thing
is going down this dude's throat. You got to be real careful though. There we go. The whole burger,
plate and all, go, yes. [?] plate. [chuckles] What happened to the egg? Oh, the egg finally busted. It was fried for so long
on the fire that the egg opened up. That's cool.
There's like real destruction physics or something in this game. Can I pull the egg out? Does the egg have a yolk in it?
There it is. How much of the egg do you need to eat? Do you want just the whites
or can I give you the yolk too? Just eat the whole shell? Why not?
That's where all the healthy part is. There's the shell,
and the whites of the egg is trying to slither out
of his stomach. I don't know
if I could beat this board if you keep just not going down his throat. Come on.
[laughs]. There we go.
Okay. Can I move the whole plate? Oh, the plate doesn't move. Oh, the plate does move. I just have to use the yolk
to make the plate move. There goes the other shell.
[laughs] The yolk is stuck inside the plate. I have to feed him the plate
because I can't move the yolk otherwise. [laughs] Go, go.
It's happening. Oh, it's happening. Come on, baby [laughs], let this happen. Oh my God.
This game is something special. Hold on. We can still win this. I need to perform
a little bit of surgery here. I'm going to grab the yolk. I love that the yolk is trying to-- I'm expanding the yolk. I have created additional yolk
that wasn't there before. I'm glad that this dude already
has a very surprised look on his face because I would be surprised too
if someone was trying to violently murder me with my own egg. I had to restart it
because I straight up got it lodged so far in his throat. I want the entire egg to go down. Just all in one shot. Hold on.
Just eat the whole thing. There we go. Yay. "I have a stomach ache." You have to perform surgery. He's crying. I've got a-- is this a link of sausages? I hope it's not part
of his lower intestine. Hold on. Can you bring this out
through his mouth? Geez. [laughs] Can you knock him off the toilet? [laughs] Yeet.
He's gone. Okay, so now you have to take
the sausage, put it in the toilet and-- Oh my God, "I like hot dog." What is happening with this mustard? Give me this weird dangler
of mustard over here. I have no idea. This mustard is flying to Saturn. The mustard is leaving the board. The mustard has left the board. Okay, that's fine.
It's fine. We can still make this work. We don't need mustard on our hotdog. It's going to be okay. I love how the mustard
is still just looming. I love that this guy also gets to sit-- Oh wow.
What kind of cursed-- What is this? You have to slap him with the candy
and then the tongue licks the candy. This is so hideous. Here, eat the whole stick of candy. [laughs] "I like beer." [laughs]
Do you? You can just grab one chunk of beer. I don't know if beer
should be described in that manner. Okay, so grab the entire beer glass,
and now just pray for the best. [laughs] Drink it.
[laughs] Hold on. I need to get more
momentum if I want to get more beer going down this guy's throat. It is freakishly hard
to make this dude drink his beer. I'm not going to lie. I'm trying to get
extra beer inside the glass. There we go. We managed to get some additional beer. Get in there. [chuckles]
Yes. We got another beer particle. Okay, so now you grab the beers
and then you just kind of-- there we go. It's like directing traffic,
except the traffic is going to make him drunk. Oh, it worked.
We did it. We got enough beers. What is this? I like black fish and the fish
is just swimming to his own tomb. I don't have to do anything. I have an idea. I got to see something. I got to see something.
Hold on. I got to see if I can do this
before that other fish tries to kill itself because clearly
it's giving it its best attempt. Can I go backwards? Is there a way? Oh, it's working.
Hold on. Trust me on this. Just believe in Gray. Okay. I need this guy
to swim forward. Yes, just like that. Okay. Now put your tail down. I have a feeling they didn't plan
on someone stupid as me attempting to do something like this. Okay, now bring the tail up. I need you to bring
your tail up a little bit more. More, more. I'm going to try and insert this fish up
the other fish's butt and see if it counts it as eating the fish. Okay. I got there.
I got there. I got there. Okay. It counted. [laughs] "I like cheese."
Oh my God. I can't believe it gave it to me. Oh, okay. Can you do it for this one too? Why wouldn't you stop
a human from doing this game? "I like carrot." What is this bunny? It's like a peep. [chuckles]. Why are my carrots all flaccid? Flabby carrot. I can't get it--
There we go. It's like playing Tetris. There we go. Yes. Yes.
I fed my rabbit. [laughs]. It's a frog.
"I like flies." The flies, they're cursed flies. They're moving around. All right, Kermit, don't you worry. We're going to get you some-- Oh my God. I inserted the fly
into his stomach sideways. Oh, look, it's going through. Come on.
[chuckles] Just one time I want to feed
one of these creatures through osmosis where I just shove
it through the side of their skin. All right.
It's okay. We can do this.
Come on. Oh, no. Oh, the fly. Oh, the fly is lodged deep inside
of the frog's throat. This is really, really bad. I don't know if I can extract this fly,
I'm trying, man. All right.
Okay. Okay,
We're going to feed the frog for real. Here we go. Yay. [laughs] "I like insect." It's a little baby bird. All right, here we go. Oh, no, I lost it. Hold on.
Hold on. Stay on the board.
Insect tie. Oh my God. I just stabbed this bird with an insect. This insect is tired
of birds eating his entire family. It's trying to murder the bird. There we go. "I like poison." [laughs] Okay, well, might as well. Here we go. Man, the poison
is like a big Hershey's kiss or something. Just kind of bloop out of the test tube. Finally, I get to feed someone to death. Here we go.
We have a winner. Floridaman Hot Cocoa
Catastrophic Chocolate is back in stock. Since it's made
by a real-life Florida men, you can do almost anything with it. You can drink it of course,
but that's boring. You can also paint fine art with it. You can bathe with it. Actually, stop, don't do that. You know what?
Just drink it instead. Just drink. Just drink
the catastrophic chocolate, it's better that way.
Floridaman Hot Cocoa is now in stock. Go over at Floridamancoffeeco.com. Well, I said I would feed people to death,
and I guess, in the end, I did. Folks, hope you enjoyed
this episode of Eating Simulator. Until the next time, stay foxy, much love.
