Alright, we're checking out the only game where you can find an
elevator that allows you to escape the insanity that is called Earth. It's GTA.
Okay, real quick, I want you to look at this elevator and then I want you to
look at what this leads to. *manic laughter*
Let's do this! Oh, no. Oh. So Alex and his friend
Petey have made me a board where I have to take these elevators in order to get to a-
Ahhhhh!!!!! Why?!?!
What I was trying to say that I take these elevators in order to get to an ultimate insane board. And-
Did I- Did I just then just get mulched? Why is there just a car
sitting on my elevator? Did this car pay to be here? Okay, there. There's definitely a car
just chilling on this elevator. Like it's just sitting there.
There's no way to get around it. I don't think. Can I, like,
can I squeeze against the wall? Because I don't even understand
how you're supposed to- Like- You still die.
There's blades on the sides. It's like evil pizzas spinning at the speed of light.
Sharpened pizzas. Okay, I have an idea. So, yeah, Here, hold on.
Oh, no. Okay. So that pedestrian that he's put
there is definitely tied to this car. I have to murder this guy.
That sounds terrible. I have to murder this guy
in order to actually get past this blade- It's- This-
I've never had- No!
I hate that these windmills are helping someone. This is not what they do. It just blocked my shot.
That was 100% a good shot. Alex and Petey have also explained to me
I'm so- Oh, I got it. I got it. Okay. Okay. Okay, we're fine.
*gibberish* *panicked laughter* There's spinning blades coming out of the wall.
Are you kidding me??? I just got skinned alive! Someone's going to get, like, a nice gray fur coat out of the deal. Or I could just fall off the elevator. Okay. This is a lot harder
than I previously anticipated. In fact, it's starting to get to the point where I might just want to stay on Earth. Okay, so to the left. To the right.
Actually, it was right and the left. And then what's next? What is this? What's happening?
OHHHHH!!!! What?!?
What are you supposed to do? All that happens is I get juiced. Ah yes, nothing like-
Nothing like a low calorie gray sorbet. There has to be something
that you need to do. I'm betting you have to, like, jump
right before you get to the top. Yeah, here we go. Here I got area. Jump. Oh my God!!!
Oh, I'm so glad it wasn't high enough to actually murder me. *laughter*
Checkpoint! Now, now, now, now, now, now. No... no.... noooooo...
NO- Is that a- Is that a- Is that a
Is that a moving teleporter? *teleporter related gibberish*
-from four spinning helecopters? Are you kidding me?!?
This isn't even a thumbnail hole. I don't even know what to call this. How were you supposed to get this? Oh NO!!!!
If I touch anything, that's not the teleporter, I'm dead. I'm not going to lie. You may see me die on this board
more than I've ever died in GTA. All right, I know that. And now- Oh, I'm way- I'm way late. Way late. Maybe if I jump when the teleporter is at,
like, the 3:00 area. All right, that was way past 3:00.
That was pretty close to. I just have to remember that Florida man's senses have been dulled
through alcoholism and bad choices. Ooookay.... This is-
This is stupid. This is insane. Why would you do this? So, 9:00, 12:00. Here comes. Here comes.
Hold on. I have an idea. We're going to. We're going to come at this
from the side. Are you ready? We're going to come at this
from the side. Are you ready? That guy just got a free windshield
wash with my blood. I can only imagine,
like your friends asking you- Oh, so. Oh, I missed them all. This is possible. Okay. I'm going through sheer
volume here. I touched it. I was there. Come on. Volume of what you might ask.
A volume of death. I have an infinite resource of my own ability
to absorb punishment. Keep it going. Keep it going, Gray. Just keep jumping.
Just keep jumping. You'll get at one of these times.
Okay, real quick, I. I feel like he would have made sure
that I couldn't cheat this way. But I need to check real quick,
please. Some of you can shoot this. Oh, God. They're invincible. Okay. I make good choices. I was there again.
This is going to be the jump. I can feel it right now. Everything's lining up real good. Ready? Wait for it. All right, here we go. I was wrong. I mean,
I've been wrong before, but I was. I was especially wrong there.
This is one of those times where I'm really angry
that I am still alive. Oh, yes. Yes. Oh, God, that was awful. Okay, so this is the second elevator,
and this one will elevate my mind further. We going?
Do I have to- There, like, a button- Whoa! Okay, okay. Hey.
What is this? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Double blades. It's like going through
a Dyson vacuum cleaner of death. All right, so stand in the middle. The problem is, I can't even, like,
see high enough. Like, I can. I can kind of point the-
Gahhhhhh!!!! uh, where is safety on this one? Okay. Yes. You got to get low. All right. I'm going to go over here, try to left. I'm pretty sure it's the left maybe. Okay. I think it's the left corner,
like left and then toward the wall. I love that. Not only do I get shorter
on this elevator just from walking, but it's also, you know, removing
a lot of my head. Did I just walk into that blade? I was going to say
it's also removing a lot of my head. It's like a haircut, but it's taking.
Okay. You can get past it there. Sweet. So it's taking a lot of my skull with it. I'm really glad I didn't hit that. Oh, no. Oh. And I got cut I feel like this red arrow
that led me to this place that is like the slowest fail. Wonder if there's anyone to land on top of...
Nope. All right, Petey, do your worst. Because as I understand it, the. Okay. One on the left. All right. That's fine. I got it. Yeah. Yeah. Was like, where's the top at?
Oh, no. Okay. One in the middle. Easy. Oh, yeah. Oh,
this elevator's getting. Getting taken. Almost jumped to my death right there. I'm pretty sure-
Oh, God. Oh, God. Yes, yes, yes. What happened to the elevator?
Look at it- *laughter* *laughter*
I didn't know you could actually murder the elevator.
Checkpoint! Okay, so Alex calls this the three loops of incremental insanity. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, well, I'm sure it'll be fine. Let's do this. I appreciate that. He put,
like, a checkpoint right here for me. That being there makes me feel like
I'm going to lose a lot. All right, so stay right in the middle. Oh! All right. Oh! Oh! Whoa! All right. Stay right in the middle,
because there's like. There's, like, a thumbnail hole
right in the beginning. Man, it's really hard to see anything. What was that? What just happened? All right, we're going to have to do it. We're going all the way. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh! Whoa! Okay. That wasn't there before.
I just thought about something. This track moves,
like looking at it moves so far, and it's curved. This is so unbelievably messed up. I've got look, I've got, like, one second- Middle.
-to react to every. Oh, God. I'm going to have to do. How do you even get around that? I'm going to have to do, like,
the world's most perfect run. Okay. So I spun right off. All right, breathe.
Oh, okay. Don't breathe. Breathe again. I find myself sometimes
holding my breath to. Okay. All right, that's fine. I find myself holding my breath,
doing some of these challenges Aaaaand....
Okay, I do- What is that? What is that? What is that? The distance. Oh, it's another loop. AHHHH!!!!
I understand- Oh, my God. I'm starting to understand
now why I would. Why I would want to go to space. All right. Nice and smooth here. Okay. There we go. There we go. Okay. So you absolutely can God, you can absolutely get around
that challenge right there. You just have to go all the way to the left. So this one's kind of
in the middle. No problem. And what else you got warming
up? Thumbnail. Okay. Got it. I'm learning all the patterns.
Middle. Nice. No problem. Oh, God. I got to go left. Why are we still here?
All right. I think I might have to, like, sit on the left. Oh, actually, these come in
order. Hold on. Okay. As far as I can tell. These are always in a row. Or I could just fly off and die. All right. What are we on right here?
What is this? I hadn't seen this one. What is this? I hadn't seen this one
before. Okay, that. Yeah, that. That No problem, then. Okay.
Wherever that was coming from. Okay, here we go. Here
we go. Here we go. Middle left? Yes-
...is it again? Okay, I. Oh, God. Oh, wow. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Okay. Right. Okay. Oh, it's like. Oh, it's like Simon. But if you mess up, you die.
What is this? What is this? What is this? A checkpoint? Checkpoint?
Is it a checkpoint? Do I get a checkpoint? What is that?
LOL LOL, what?
Why LOL? This I can do. This I can do.
This is fine. Wait, is it going... What's happening? Where am I? Oh, it's moving underneath me. Look- *laughter*
Look at how fast it's moving. All right, whatever. I still want to know what the lol is from. That really scares me. Whenever
I get laughed at by Alex, I feel like something is just monumentally-
OWWW!!! Something is monumentally wrong
when this happens. Okay, I'm. I'm starting to lose gravity
here. Oh, my God. It didn't put me at the checkpoint. I don't think that white checkpoint
was a real checkpoint. I think it's like
a fake checkpoint or something. Did it put me on, like,
a totally different loop? That doesn't even count. He would do that. He would do that. He would make, like, an entire second loop that would take him
hours of his life just as a joke. What is that?!?
I only now realize. Oh, God. The snaking death ahead of. Metal. No problem. MIddle. Okay, now
we're gonna go off to the side here. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Off to the side, then. Kind of middle. Okay. Don't hit that. I don't want to. Oh, wow. Oh. Oh. Oh, God. What is happening? I guess it gets c now, like,
hey, it's not r0n. If you want to see hidden abuse
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There's the button. Okay, I. Oh, my God. Do you
see how this board works? You're actually going under,
and then you loop onto a second loop. It's like I'm riding
on the outside of a wall ride. I don't even know how to describe this. Or the outside of a loop, I guess. Yeah. Sun's getting real low, Alex. It's not going to give up. Oh, yeah. All right, now I just have to make sure
I do not touch. Okay? I'm gonna go off to the side. I just need to make sure
I do not touch that. I think. Here we go. I think that's evil. I think- Oh, WHOA!!!
That almost got me again. Okay, this is new. This is new. New per-
Ughhhhhh.... New personal best.
Oh my God! Oh, my God, it's teleporters!
NOOO!!! We're still- What is that?????
That's like a baseball bat of death. Great. Just what I always wanted
to be used as a homerun pitch. Oh, wow. What...
What kind of challenges are these? Just like a spiraling,
rotating death curl... I don't even know what that was. Oh, no. Okay. No joke. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. These challenges are getting out of hand. Oh, no. Oh, wow. There's nowhere to go. I'm going to die. I don't- I don't even- I don't mean, like-
I don't- I don't mean, like- oh, my God.... I don't mean my character. I mean me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I've got the Force. I'm one with the Force.
AH! The Force just kicked me in the face. All right, you know what?
The Force betrayed me. I'm going to use I'm
going to use something else. The Matrix. How about that? The Matrix. The Matrix was a really good place. Maybe I should. Oh, masochism. That's my-
Ahhhh!!!! I'm still on it. Yes. *laughter*
Oh NO! What I was trying to say is
masochism is basically my superpower. Oh, God. Oh. Oh. This is so ridiculous. This is. This is pain. This is what pain looks like. I know pain is a feeling,
but now you get to see pain in its in its actual solid form. It is this board. Okay. Back to the beginning. This has got to be
one of the levels of the underworld. It has to be. Tell me that
Satan is at the end of this board, like sitting on a toilet or something.
Go off to the left. Yeah. You know, it's getting bad.
Watch this. Triple. You know it's getting bad
when I've memorized all of the obstacles. Just about. Hey, big, fancy run off the side. Just barely managed to save myself there. All right, now we need to go through here,
get this perfect, because we don't want to get caught
by the obstacle coming up from the ground. Okay, so now it loops. Oh, I'm. I'm fine-
*gibberish* I'm fine. I'm fine. It's fine. Ow!!! Everything's fine!
As long as it doesn't lift me up- *screams and gurgles of agony* All right, that's it. No more Mr. Nice Gray. Come on, bring it. What do you got for me? OW!
Okay. It's okay. It's okay. As long as it doesn't
lift me off the track, I'm fine. Okay. Don't know how
I managed to survive that, but it's fine. Through the minefield of spokes. This is unbelievably evil.
Oh, a triangle. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah-
Noooooooooo..... Never going to give up. I'm never going to-
Oh, my God. I'm never going to give up. Now I can see the world.
The world is looking at me askew. It's, like, "Gray, why would you put yourself through this?"
Ohhhhhhh!!! I'm fine. Well, the answer to
that is more difficult than you may know. It's because I'm an idiot. What am I supposed to go here? Oh, I got through it! Alright,
well, whatever. Oh! Yep. Through the spinning thingy. This has got to be
new personal best. Right? Where's the end? Am I okay? It's fine. I thought I was out of-
I thought- Oh, no. I thought I was out of obstacles Through this. Miss this.
Through the alien ship. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. I have done this board
now probably over 60 times. Yeah. Yeah, I have, I have memorized. Hold on. Because now I got. Yeah, here we go. And then the baseball bat.
I have memorized every single obstacle Through the middle.
-at this point. And I'm not I'm not losing. I'm not. I can't see the sun to my eyes.
Oh, God, the sun. Okay, just get ready to be the big one
that goes off to the left. Nice. No problem that we're going
to have the loop. Yup. Spinning loop. Go around it.
And then green lefty things. Yes, this is- Is this it? Is this it?
Tell me this is it. Tell me that's it. That's it, right? That's all right. Okay. Low spinny. Another minefield of spikes. Oh, God. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We have a checkpoint. Oh, my God. I'm in so much pain right now. Can't get any worse, right? Are those spinning,
moving track based wind turbines? I think they are. I- Oh, my God. They're everywhere. Okay. It's fine. It's fine. I'm actually good. I never thought I'd be doing this, but for a moment there
I was chasing the wind turbines. Well, we're at we don't need
gravity anymore. Obviously, at this point. I'm so high into the atmosphere
that normal gravity. Oh, God. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, yeah. I'm like a slithery snake. that constantly is trying to be bifurcated
by wind turbines like that. Oh, yes. I never. I never get tired of feeling the sweet. Oh, you can actually see the stars. The sweet kiss of the wind
turbine flaying my body. Oh, not the sun again!!! Ahhhh!!!
Alright, toward the stars, Gray. The stars just kicked me in the groin. I can't believe that I was betrayed by space spit. And I have been through so much together. We're getting there,
we're there, we're getting there. I can see space. I can taste. It tastes like burnt steak. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm no longer fine. You can't. You can't do this. You have to feel it. You have to feel your soul leaving your body. Oh, God. Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. Oh. Oh, my God. I've never seen this part. That means it's good.
Or it could also be really bad. Give me a checkpoint! For God's sakes, Alex, give me a-
Ahhhh!!! Yeah, we got a checkpoint! Ow!!! Uh, there's more. Why? Okay. Checkpoint on this side. You're leaving the Earth's atmosphere. There is a slight chance of meteors. Oh, God, no. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. What is this board?
What is this? Why are there just random meteorites
spawning out of nowhere? Get out- Oh, these meteorites are actually-
Oh, really? The meteorites are pretty heavy. Not going to lie. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. What did you make? Okay, hold on. I don't
think this is that hard. It's a giant spiral. Well, it's a- Is there windmills in this, too? There is. Oh, my God.
There's one right there. This is a spiral made out of spiral and spirals.
Spiralception! I'm really conflicted
because the earth has been nothing but trauma for me
throughout this. Oh, wow. Throughout this entire episode. But the earth is also where
I keep my stuff. So.... Ugghhhhhh......
Look, Meteorite, we're brothers. We're falling together.
You can't, like- Oh my.... It's impossible to
guess where the windmills are. You kind of just have to get lucky. Okay. That was a lot of luck. Whoa! Oh, my God. Stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. No, don't you dare go off that wall. Checkpoint. Okay. To the stars. Tell me. It's finally a way to end the agony. That was a really big meteorite. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ Okay. Stazzzzzzzz There's no R in it. To the STAAAAAAAAAAA-- Oh. Okay. Yeah. Is this the elevator? Oh, yeah. Oh! Whoa! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
*laughter* Well, now we're penetrating the cloud cover! We're passing the curvature of the earth. And we have a winner!!! Well, any time I hear elevator music,
I'm going to have to relive that trauma. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of GTA.
Until next time: Stay foxy and much love.
