All right. We're checking out
the only game where every year I live as an animal will probably end up
taking a year off of my actual life. It's GTA!
You've heard of Florida man? This is Florida bird. That's a Florida plane. So Alex has put together- This bird has one hit point, doesn't it? Alex has put together a bunch of training
impossible challenges- Oh my God!!! That I have to do as a variety of animals-
Oh my..... What kind of steering does this bird have? The very first thing is thi-
It's called, like, a cormorant or something. I've got to fly through this battle field of A10 Warthogs! Now, in case you didn't see. They also have, like, mini guns,
and they're shooting rockets, and sometimes they just turn up cursed and
go sideways down this hallway he's built. So there's four- Oh, this is going to be awful. Broke my little webbed legs. So there's four different animals
that I'm going to have to master. I got taken out by the landing gear?
Are you serious? Oh, this is turning out
to be actually pretty good. Oh, yeah. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Yeah-
That didn't even get hit by anything. All right, maybe
the tail of that one plane. I don't know, it happened so fast. All right, new plan. We're going in low. Oh, that was a terrible idea. I never thought that flying a bird would. What is happening? Oh, my bird's broken. I'm going to bring this bird
into the shop. Nice and easy. Nice and easy. Nice. Yes, yes. Oh, my God. Screw you, Alex. Oh, wow. This is slow. I don't think I have
the patience for this. I'll do it the hard way. I don't care. I had no idea that
this bird walked so slow. I really didn't. I thought I could deal with it. I can't. I don't care
if this takes me a thousand times. I would much rather do this
this way than be walking on the floor. What happened was. Oh, well,
one of the planes got stuck. All the planes are getting stuck.
What is going on? It's actually kind of worse because it-
Ahhhh!!! In shuffling the planes all over the board,
it runs into the ground. What is this evil? Don't you worry, Mr. Cormorant. I've. I've died. Well, technically,
you have died so many times that. Oh, okay. Actually, this is. Oh. Whoa. Okay. Okay. This is. This is happening.
This is. This is looking great. Oh, this is looking fantastic. The bullets are kind of off to the left and the-
Oh, wow. Okay. The plane is completely glitching out
and totally upside down. I don't know how I survived that.
Not gonna ask any questions. My little webbed feet.
They feel so good. Okay. Flap it. Flap it!
Oh, I lived!!! I lived!!! What is this ending? Oh my God!!! Yesss-
Ow! I got the checkpoint, though. So this is-
This is like a parkour thing. Well, actually, it's
more like a like a turbo dismount thing. He goes, Why did the
chicken cross the road? I guess. I literally have to find out now. Here is the chicken. There's the road!
*manic laughter* What are the cars doing?
Some of the cars aren't driving, they're levitating. Okay, so for this, Alex says I have 2 minutes. That's actually the lifespan
of the typical chicken, apparently. And I have to get. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I have to get from one
side of the road to the other. All right, so it's like.
It's like Formula One cars. And then what is this?
This, like, monster trucks? I like rally trucks. Okay. Ahhh!
*laughter* This is what it's like to be a chicken. There's cars just flying through the air-
Look at the- Look at the twisted carnage!
Alex wh- What part of the world is this road from? *groaning*
Okay, this is turning out to be quite a run. You know what? Sure. Whatever. Works for me.
Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure that my little
my little chicken gobbler there, whatever's in my chin got severed by a car coming one inch from my face-
Oh, poultry. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. All right, if I gobble-
Gobble, that's a turkey. If I do a chickeny noise? This thing is so slow. I mean, it's well-
it runs faster than than the cormerant- Is this is there traffic going
both ways? Are you kidding me? None of these cars make any sense!!! This is the most unholy mess of stupidity that I've ever
had to deal with. Well, as an animal, for sure,
I don't even want to look. Yeeeeeeeee.....
Let's do this! All these cars are trying to make chicken tenders. I lived. Yesss..... Oh, God, the arrow is right
across the street. All I-
Oh, no.... It is just nonstop chaos! Everything is-
Oh, what's happening? Yes. Ohhhhhhhh! Yesssss- What is this? What is this? What is this? Why is there an elevator? Why do I have to do?
I have to go across more street- The elevator actually knows
where the chicken is on it. That's kind of weird.
I have to go across more streets? Can I even fall from this
or will this kill me? I don't know. Okay,
you can just walk down it. I wasn't sure if a chicken like what the height is that I'm allowed to fall
from. It's right there. The arrow is right there. That car randomly
driving on the wall. No big deal. Welcome to Los Santos. I can do this. I can do this even- Okay. All right. Box truck just teleport in from. From from the nether realm.
That's fine. Oh, yeah. Oh, Alex gave me ramps. I, I can't get across
the tracks, though, Alex. Oh, there we go. Never mind. I need, like, a running
start to get over the tracks. Oh, it's working. All right, all right. Go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go. Ahhhhh!
NO! My little chicken heart had a heart attack and I just pooped out a bunch of blood.
I was right there! This is the best run. This is the worst run. Okay. I should have enough time-
Ow. I love how I'm just walking
on this platform with my beak. Okay, just run. Just run.
Just run the whole time. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Can you not pull someone over
while the chicken is crossing the road? Do you mind?
Have you no decen- Is this. Can this happen? Okay. I am not getting taken out from behind
again when I'm two feet from the end. Not this time. Okay. Looks good. Everything's fine
because cars can totally just teleport. Yeah, see? Look right there. Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay, good. If. If this train stops in front of me,
I'm going to flip my desk. Okay. It goes through the wall. Thank God. Okay, run chicken. Run. Full speed. Full speed. Because if you stop,
you can't make it over the tracks. Go. This is happening. Oh, it's happening. It's right there. All I have to do. All I like to do
is just not get hit by, like, I don't know, aliens
or something like that. I keep getting probed in all these episodes by some random alien
that appears out of nowhere. But we're going to end up
getting a checkpoint. Yeah. I did it!!!! It says, "Gray, this board will take six years off of your life." Like me as the animal or me as in gray?
Gray ahead. Proceed with caution. That doesn't make any sense. What is that? Whoa, whoa. Okay. Oh, that's like light speed go karts. Ahhhh, it is!
It's me on the go carts! I didn't think the sentence
made any sense, but now it kind of does Gray ahead as in me. All right, let's ddo- This is going to be really hard, isn't it? Let's do this. All right. Here's the plan. Now there is a little cheat that you can
do by bouncing the bike you get. Okay. Oh, I. I just got shot into orbit. All right. No more Mr. Nice. Okay, this board is pretty bad. All right, it's fine. It's fine. Everything is doing well. Okay. I survived. I'm dead. Well, hold on. You know what? I could probably land this beautiful. Not that it mattered
because I still had to- AAAHHHHH- Oh. Huh. That's weird. I'm still. I'm still alive. Okay. If I hug the wall,
this wall is actually pretty protective over here, if you notice.
Look at this. Look at that! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is fine. Okay. How come- Oh, I love how I'm being spawned
by Pringles cans. What did you turn the speed of these Grays up to Alex? Okay, all the speed. All the speed. We're going to do it. We're going to use the trick.
Ohhhhhh.... OHHHHHHHHH!!!! Oh, very good. You're using
*gasp*
A pool!!! No. Oh, there has to be some kind of,
like, trick to this. I've noticed that. Oh, here we go. Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go. Whoa, whoa. No, I was going to say,
I've noticed that the Grays kind of stick to the middle of the board sometimes. Sometimes they end up-
I can barely get on that wall. Sometimes they kind of chill out
on the sides of the board. Oh, this is doing really good. Once you pop out, you just can't stop. Apparently, somewhere between then
and now, I learned how to fly. Oh, wow. Oh, this is a new personal best. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm dead-
Or am I? Oh, come on, man. Mm hmm. Oh, there's a spot I've never seen before. It's like the Taj Mahal of Pringles. Okay, okay. There's three of me. But that's not going to stop me because, yes, I can stay on the side
and then jump out. Come on, baby. Oh, are you kidding me right now? Alex, what is this? Can I go around this? Mommy, just pop it, okay? I can do this. Hold
on, hold on. I just need speed. Oh, the windmill here. Oh, God. Oh, no. Stop shooting at me.
Gooooooooo! Oh, yes. Yes. No. I hate my life. Oh. Oh, come on. And pop it. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm never going to give up. I don't care what it takes. The nation loves
the taste of Gray's sadness. Yes, I made it across.
Ahhhhhh!!!! I want to fall on my head
so this can be over. All you need is speed!!!!
Ow. All right, well, that was great. Uh hmm. Oh, actually,
I think I can do this and pop it. *panicked gibberish* Oh, my God. How many years off my life-
Ahhhhhh!!!! *sobbing*. How many years of my life did it say it takes?
Six? Oh, my God. There's a checkpoint there. *deranged gibberish*
NOOOO!!!! Bad, bad, bad. Yes, yes. Now. Yes! YESSS!!!!
NO! NOOOOOOO!!!!! Hold on. Okay. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, I can feel it.
The force is with me. Yes, I have all the midichlorians! Oh, I've got. I've got all the chlorine as well.
YESSSSSSSSS!!!!! Yesss....... Thank you, God.
Checkpoint! Undergo military training to become a police dog. I don't want to become a police dog. This board will take
11 years off your life. I don't have any more life. I want to be a YouTuber dog. Actually, it doesn't seem that bad,
except for that tank. Just kind of randomly hitting the wall. Okay, it just got a lot worse. Ooooooh, it got a lot worse. What is every one shooting out-
Are they shooting at me? You wouldn't shoot at a doge, would you? Soooo.... Oh, my God. Can I go- Can I go between this? Can I use this for protection? You can't go between two pieces of ply board. I feel like I'm not really
doing my police duty. Oh, my God. Is that a- It's like a pulse gun over here. Look, at this. And now-
Ow, ow! Ohhhhhhh........ Oh, oh. At least
I can take three hits as a dog. I'm used to having, like, oh, god, yes. I'm used to having, like,
one hit point as a chicken. Am I supposed to go on top of this?
Or this is like a slot- What is this?!? There is nothing a police
dog has to do where they have to- There's no reason the police dog would be getting murdered by helicopter props. What city is this that I'm trying to be a police dog in? Okay. All right. So. Oh, my God. All right.
Ahhhh..... I've got to stay. Sorry. My dog's been drinking. I've got to stay on the tires. And if I do that,
I think I can get past- I think I can get past all these blades.
Like, right here. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I got it. I got it. Okay. All right. So then we got-
Is that just a dude with a minigun?!? Are you kidding me? This looks really bad,
but the ground is on fire. Well, actually, now I'm on fire,
and now I'm dead. Wait a second. Dogs aren't fireproof??? Down here in Florida-
Got my head stuck inside of the gate. This is such like a real dog problem. Okay, down here in Florida, you have to be
at least somewhat immune to fire. It's the only way to- No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do
it. Don't do it. Don't you-
Oh, you did it. I'm going to be the only dog
that dies from melanoma. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay, there. Okay, here we go. Through the blades. No big deal. Oh, I don't know how
I survived that through the minigun. Okay. Random drones
just chilling out on the ground over here. Guy with a shotgun.
Ow! I got shot in the tail! Was that a car Just oscillating?
Just, like, randomly oscillating? I think it was.
Okay... -is that barbed wire??? Over the fence through here. Oh, this new personal best.
Oh, this is a big personal best! Also, I don't know what
a turning radius on a dog is. I mean, I kind of got-
Ahhhhh!!!! Tightroping a dog.... I love helicopter blades. I hate helicopter blades. Yeah. Just take a little off the top,
but not too much. Like, you know, when you start feeling
brain matter, stop shaving my head, basically. Okay. Around the random drones
that are completely, like, not, oh, It wasn't my fault. My head got, like, stuck
inside of the tube, or I'm just an idiot. That's also possible. Not yet. Not yet. Did you stick like a car onto
one of the onto one of the wind turbines? I don't know if that's
more energy efficient or not. There you go. Okay. All right.
Through the tube, out the other side. No big deal. Through the zigzag,
over the barbed wire. Watch out for the blastie-
Noooo!!! What do I get if I complete this? Because I feel like it is not
the will to live? Why is the ground
randomly on fire over there? Sometimes I go to that area.
The grounds on fire. Where are you shooting at?
Shooting off to the side now! Whatever. That makes my job a little bit easier. Okay, zig zag, don't zig too hard. I don't know if I can get this time.
Go Fido!!!!! Ooh. All right. Yeah. Here we go. There it is. I almost got lit on fire by a flare, and I think
there's another flare going this way. That was very close to my giblets. I probably-
There's rocket launchers on this board? Are you serious? I'm not training
to be a police dog anymore. I'm like, training for the movie
Commando at this point. You can see all my little dog
blood spatter on the ground. Okay, so at some point, there's a rocket.
Is there a rocket? I guess there's not a rocket.
I could have sworn there was a rocket. No, there's definitely a rocket!
OW! The ground's on fire. My feet! Oh. Your personal best. Okay. It's fine. It's fine. Go around this. That actually wasn't that hard. Okay. Random ground on fire again.
Please don't light me on fire. This is happening. Jump! Yes. Yes. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Back to the BEGINNING!!!!! Actually. Okay. But this run is.... Why are you over there now? the tank is is veritably on fire. How did the tank blow up? Oh. Oh, oh. Okay. Yeah. This looks strong. This is a strong run right here. This could be it. I do have the turn radius on a dog now. It's it's it's much easier,
I will say, than a chicken or a whatever. Whatever that dollar store
duck was that I was- There we go. That dollar store
duck that I was doing at the- Hold on... Ah, okay.
So that's where that comes from. Okay. Run across here
and now. Got to get ready. Big jump. Big jump. Yes. Yes. Where am I? What, do have to swim- doggy paddle somewhere?
I'm drow- Oh, I'm not drowning.
I can float, sort of. Well, I can. I can bob- I can, like, bobble randomly in the water.
This is interesting. All right, so arrow off to the left. I'm waiting for there
to be just random sharks. Really? Oh, wow. Wow. I could swim, like,
really fast as a dog. This is incredible. I don't know if this is-
Oh, I go under it. I don't know if this is super realistic, but I'm swimming at, like,
40 miles an hour. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. I almost blew up just then. Okay,
there's a ramp. That's good. Oh, I almost fell into the water. Okay, so we've got
sort of a rocket launcher. There's something exploding,
like, right ahead of me over here. Actually, there's a lot of things
exploding all around me. Okay, go to the- Yes. Yes, yes, yes. There's a teleporter. Oh my God! out, out, out, out,
out, out. Female huskies. We have a winner. Yeah. Well, I'm going to chill out
with these female huskies and probably have a heart attack
in the next 6 seconds. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of GTA.
Until next time: Stay foxy and much love.
