i dated 1,589 psychopaths and this happened

all right so we're checking out the only game where you must find a way to exist in an online dating world where every single person involved is a psychopathic murderer without you getting skinned alive in the process its bottom-of-the-barrel more LSD induced cannibalism dammit in bottom-of-the-barrel you play a young woman who must find that one decent person in a group of losers and Psychopaths we're not doing that I'm going to date every single person that comes our way I don't care how insane they are I mostly just want to see what happens if you can actually get on a date with a psycho Jack R apples he's 23 and he says my brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine and my parents put me in the boot for the ride home long lasting childhood trauma you're perfect he better not be a snowflake people have no sense of humor these days I like how the only option for our very first got his block mr. martini I want to do adult things with you whispers taxis panting softly pay the mortgage moans our utility bill was 200 this month turn elect I mean we're already on our second guy and we're still alive I consider this a win I want to lick your teeth absolutely grandfather seeking companionship or granddaughter she suffers from poor choices he's 21 maybe this is a new society thing where the granddaughter is actually older than the grandfather I said I click on the thumbs up button let's see where this conversation goes do you sell feet pics I mean how much you paying about Sullivan man Co I own an ax this game is inspiring me to make an online dating profile and use these as the topics come on ladies you wouldn't date a guy on an online profile who's only bit of information about him is I own an axe what's your favorite food my axe how many children would you want I only need my axe all right axe murder let's do oh mama we've got a live one here live answers now you've got one thing and it's me saying no why would I not want to date a man with an axe as his only valuable possession oh she is real damn all I get are fakes who tell me they got nudes I feel like this is a type of guy where I would send him new and then he would say can you go to Home Depot first and get a piece of lawn equipment and then send me the nudes three Texan and he's asking for nudes that's two texts later than I thought it would be there's no yes button there are adult sites for that I don't want to block this man his axe scares me of course not I would never joke about asking for pictures of majestic women I always say to them that I am asking because I find you goddamn gorgeous take it as a compliment that I want to see you naked damn does that work on anyone absolutely it works in Jersey actually that's not true in Jersey you're just as likely to get stabbed by the woman as you are by the man let's keep this beautiful conversation going have to get at least one date after all well no but that's because you have low self confidence I told them and you that I find you all hot and I respect women it's all about the risk but I want to show it by showering you with compliments about your naked body or body parts so can I see some privates this guy's trying so hard a medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul Kevin the fact that you went through all this trouble to prove your soullessness shows that you are a desirable mate yo baby everyone pay close attention because this is how you talk to a soulless person hi what you doing tonight anything but talking with you watching Netflix most likely there is no way that this will not lead to a conversation about having sex Netflix you say mind if I provide the chill there it is you know the impression they say Netflix and chill come on you live in a dumpster that's expression not impression the game character said exactly what I was thinking I'm on this app to make friends the same way I'm on adult sites to see the plumber these are the best profile summaries I've ever read my life hey what's your dream date not being killed probably a nice meal going out to watch a movie I would say a nice meal but do you own an axe that sounds great as long as I can eat you for dessert I mean at least the guy was nice enough to give us the winky smiley face I am in reality an alien from Mars looking to probe I feel like this is a good way to keep someone from being arrested I would go to the cops and I'd be like hey Cleopatra probed me well let's get probed hey baby what's up trying to find a decent person to talk to on this app that's not going to happen not much but I feel like I'm about to be asked for nudes I give it a 1 in 10 chance that the next text message here isn't actually about nudes straight to the point huh I like a girl like that so are you gonna deliver I fed up with it I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend until the LSD wears off and then I realize I'm dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot oh it's Kevin again the no sole guy I want to date this dude so bad is your blood type B positive because you're just my blood type is LSD positive to settle a wager I once ate a pound of badger poison and then ran a mile naked you will never meet a more alpha male than me never in this world did there exist a more alpha male name than Sophie badger poison is no Jo anyone who can eat a pound of it is okay in my book hey sweet cheeks how's you what is this like 1931 please don't call me names right from the start doing all right how about you yeah I'm totally okay with sweet cheeks if it was good enough for Dean Martin it's good enough for me just finished training oh I'm sorry training one hour Jim than two hours American football I love mixing badger poison in with my protein and then snorting good for you oh wow you must be exhausted all right everyone I'm gonna use my powers of mentalism here see how the word bed is in this comment that means that sexual stuff is going to follow ready three two one horn only puny nerds stay-at-home mom get mad drunk tonight with my buddies you son of a [ __ ] you made a liar out of me I got stabbed on a date once because I apparently came on too strong but I like to call myself passionate listen I'm the only person coming on this site hoping to get stabbed you can't get stabbed - that's a diss balanced relationship I'm still pressing this button if you're looking a girl with personality you're in luck I have multiple poets if each one of Monroe's personalities attempts to kill me do I get to press charges multiple times I want to hold you as you fall asleep and stare at your unconscious form in the dark no why is the only option here to block this is the person for me I must click on the love like huh kameena says I bone on the first date this should be a fantastic conversation please wife me did they just use wife as a verb I've only ever wifed one person and she made me a cross-stitch that says yiddish meatus I'm serious check my Twitter I take hot showers because I like practicing burning in hell is this a fro or is this man wearing a globe on his head don't worry Craig burning in hell is its own valuable skill set I feel you will birth my children there's no follow-up to this because it doesn't get any better crow loves dogs Kahn will spoon dog instead of you that moment when you've tried to date 554 people and you run across someone called Saphir off the gate I guess it's about to be 555 I once chopped down a whole tree in a single swing the tree was five meters thick and I shouted so loudly when I swung my axe that every bird within a 50 kilometer radius died anyone who can chop a tree down in one swing and kill every bird in a 50 kilometer radius who was also named Doris is prime dating material I got an A in sex ed there has to be a way to date someone in this game I don't care how many people I have to go through I'm gonna find one a genuine nice guy looking for a meaningful relationship friends or more this is the nicest profile that I've seen you in this game there is no way in hell that this person is not a murderer send naked pics this is not a request this is a threat oh god it's everything I hoped it would be I've texted with eleven hundred and fifty four freaking people I don't care what it takes one way or another I understand that you can actually date someone in this game I won't give up why because I love pain I'm under house arrest but I'm willing to do handcuffs play it mine sure you look tasty princess can I have a nibble probably gonna end up getting two mm oh Christ what a friggin paragraph if there's one thing I learned in this game it's that every single piece of text is incredibly screwed up so this is gonna be a doozy my perfect date night is I pick you up in my Kia Sorento and you get in I light candles in the car and when you ask isn't that dangerous I say yeah but danger is my middle name I take us to a fancy restaurant after having a romantic dinner where I sweep you off your feet with my big brain power we go out and see my car burning you panic but I say I knew this would happen don't worry and then I grab a bag of marshmallows I hid in my coat and we have them as our first dessert then I kiss you and say I liked the second dessert more someone make an online dating profile and cut and paste this as your as your profile how can I say no to this I'm looking to hook up no [ __ ] my girlfriend doesn't need to know I just need to meet you right now who the hell goes through the trouble to make that frigging novel and hits me with this bomb I can fit an entire Apple in my mouth my favorite letter is D Bruno I'm very disappointed in you didn't say what kind of freaking Apple get back in the kitchen woman or at least send me some nudes ha ha I kind of wish this thumbs up button would break www my new zorg wait a second so this person got me to click on their profile asking for my nudes but then when I got to their profile they're giving me their news what the hell is this like an exception no man can kill me I can see for two miles unaided by a lens and have beaten every race of man ok text my girlfriend doesn't know I'm on this app can you keep a secret son of a [ __ ] I'm looking for a rich girl who is willing to support my expensive drug habit my mom won't let me use her minivan anymore so I'll need to crash around your place for a while why do you have the same haircut that like every anime mob-boss hat whatever do you have childbearing hips I must produce offspring I mean at least he tried harder than the other guy who is like you will bear my children I can lift a fully grown horse above my head you know what I like it specific to the point shore he sort of looked like a sponge in your profile pic can I squeeze you dry I don't want to be dry I'm trying to die I'm the realest of oh geez you stupid [ __ ] you'll be lucky to have the privilege to speak to my majestic ass if I'm not too busy banging multiple with good luck peasants who is the realest of oh geez you might ask Virginia test hi I just got out of surgery how are you doing I feel like calling everyone peasants is a fantastic way to constantly go to the hospital let me guess to fix a broken heart yes no actually I had a tumor removed oh the ultimate og woman sex machine Virginia I'm so sorry HR I'm used to [ __ ] pulling a stupid pickup block I don't know which ones to pick it's okay babe I'll forgive you if you send me some pictures of you to cheer me up the kinds of ones where you're not wearing any clothes and that is called getting a rug pulled out from Arnie I suddenly no longer feel bad for you so a sick man asks you to do one small thing to make him feel better in the morning don't worry Virginia just like they took the tumor out of you I will take you off of my dating app I can hold my breath for ten minutes uh yeah sure you know what I always wanted to date someone that was part dolphin I bar it seems like something someone that's part dolphin would say I'm drunk 24/7 and loving life hit me up to party and bone I think this is the most romantic thing anyone on this website said yet hey baby let me admit to you right off the bat that I'm in jail but I swear I have never heard a woman and never would what are you in jail for then I may have a low-key shot a guide to death but he had it coming he messed with the wrong gang you killed someone the captain of the football team and here to flex my trophies I want to do lines off your ass I don't know if things are getting better or worse hi how's it going considering what the hell I just read for the profile and incredibly average opener that's exactly what I was thinking I know right I couldn't think of what to say I'm not very good with these days judging by the doing lines off of people's asses how we think that you're a pro at least you haven't asked to see me naked yet yeah it shows do you want me to try a cheesy pick-up line absolutely how about is your name Google because you've been everything I've been searching for that's genuinely awful or Jason's moving swiftly on from that train wreck tell me about yourself do you have any hobbies this is the longest conversation I've had with a person in fifteen hundred and eighty-nine people ah reading really no way I actually work in the bookshop in central where the hell did this conversation turn cool no way whereabouts coincidentally right next door to a really cute little coffee shop want to swing on over for the weekend are we actually gonna have one single date I'm good thanks yeah that sounds nice is it a date then it doesn't have to be it can be whatever you want let's do this oh my god you did it it's a date fingers crossed well it took 1,500 attempts but we finally found someone who's a terrible human being but is also date material anyway folks I guess I'm gonna go get skinned alive I hope you all enjoyed this episode of bottom-of-the-barrel until the next time stay foxy much love

Channel: GrayStillPlays

Views: 1,061,924

Keywords: Simulation Games, graystillplays, gray still plays, greystillplays, simulator, tycoon funny, simulator funny moments, funny clips, funny moments, game of life, life simulator, life sim, life simulator game, life game, life games, multiple endings, bad choices games, bad choices, life choices game, life choices, bad life choices game, dating game, dating simulator, tinder, tinder simulator, tinder funny moments, tinder funny texts, tinder funny stories, weird tinder profiles

Id: 5c0zfSkew6Q

Length: 14min 15sec (855 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 03 2020