i forced human evolution and this happened

all right so we're checking out the only game where you get to take the two worst people in the entire planet and breed them together in order to see exactly how they will destroy the entire universe it's episode more genocide 'el superhumans dammit episode is like humanity it keeps evolving and thus this is probably the most amazing episode episode I've ever heard of in my life apparently in this one you get to take people from earth and breed them together as aliens and then see what horrors there spawn due to the planet below based upon who you've chosen and so our protagonist Florida guitar will go and choose the worst of the worst I want to see how screwed up the endings get earth just look at it although a lot of its on fire right now with its stupid oxygen and its stupid gravity and its stupid human why is it in every space movie ever everyone always hates the humans say hello everyone to Florida man's lesser-known niece Florida --get Ron she has been sitting up high in space apparently trying to destroy the earth for decades I've tried invasions I've tried explosions again the explosions aren't gonna really get you anywhere because everything's already exploding and nothing seems to work hell yes I only have one idea left and it will take years to execute where the hell did her nose go this girl alien is like yeah it was so strange I visited a place on earth called Trenton they took my wallet my nose oh I'm missing your nose too I guess that's just what our people do we got the humans you wanted Florida --get Ron I appreciate that everyone in the future of alienness has read Florida man hair actually if you throw this guy on the beach for like eight to ten hours with no sunscreen he could even pass for Florida man these are the humans you told us to get this aliens name is Ben this is Sebastian Jones you said you wanted a smart human we found Sebastian about to accept a Nobel Prize so we took him actually aliens you might be onto something if you take all of the good humans from Earth you might not have to do anything this is Simon Alexander you said you wanted someone brave this dude is about to put out this fire and they're abducting them right before you can get it done so we named a fire man who's about to put fire the people inside just get to burn alive I feel like insurance would not cover this I'd be like my premiums going up isn't it they'd be like yeah this is Logan Williams you said you wanted someone attractive we found him shirtless with women drooling over him so it seemed like the perfect fit I love how everyone is surprised except for this girl she's like god dammit not again this is Jackie Adams Jesus Christ we took a lot of humans you said you wanted a powerful human what is she like a female lex luthor Jackie was in the process of being crowned Miss Universe so we took her that power hot whatever same difference this is making wow she looks depressed you said you wanted someone with a lot of knowledge and this girl's wearing a pocket protector that means her ass is about to get abducted no midterms for you joint this is Olga Hansen Olga what the hell are you wearing this is how she works out you said you wanted a human who was strong if she gets too swole the Laffy Taffy that's holding her freakin bathing suit together it's gonna snap I like that she's working out with high heels as well I have to mention that Olga is a bodybuilder who currently holds the title of world's strongest woman and that's your team Wow it's like the a-team meets a boyband meets a crackhouse what do you think first thing I think you need to change your friggin name what do I think I did most of the work here I think you're an idiot you are an idiot who did you get me you got me like the entire cast of Dawson's Creek and it's 2020 did I say did most of the work I meant to say very did most of the work I appreciate that human beings aren't the only people that throw each other under the bus you're both idiots you can share the blame for what's about to happen to earth I wanted those six traits in one human not six humans with one trait this is why you make itemized lists to give your lackeys with all due respect a human like that just simply doesn't exist I'm not gonna lie that burn hurt a little bit how can that be typical humans I call bolts surely someone like that must exist in Florida now I swear it it's like you know how humans are just systematically it yes well Farah I guess you're right I have I have no I have no argument response for that yeah it makes it very hard for them to be perfect we're lucky to find six individuals who were even able to excel at one trait what am I supposed to do now why not breed them and this is where the breeding comes in to make more humans you only need one female and one male that could work you can pick the best female and the best male from this group and then force them to make a superbaby suite it'll be like a Clark Kent but like a really pissed-off Clark Kent with anger management issues it's basically bright burn you could clone that baby and then use the clones to help us take over Earth from the inside this is starting to become like a very deep episode so you're suggesting I create my own army of Earthlings that's genius hey guys there's supposed to be six of you did one of you eat the sixth person oh there they are they're just all the way in the back I like how this girls like oh you Earthlings you know why you're all here today Jackie's like no no one told us anything oh well let me make it clear two of you will be lucky enough to help me destroy Earth it's like a privilege I'll even let you keep one state alive well actually Florida's a given I'll let you keep two states alive what makes you think two any of us will help you do that you're stuck in space the fear of death I'm hot Oh max I like that my finger has its own muscle memory now to just pixie whenever I play this game that's not really enough to make us want to help you though look may I'm planning to kill an entire planet I'm not really gonna feel bad about killing six people you're helping me because you have no other choice okay I hear you humans hold job interviews on earth I guess you could say what I'm about to put you through is like a job interview I will ask you a series of questions and if I think your answer is I will throw a moon rock at you whoever is hit with the most moon rocks will be ejected from the spaceship what the [ __ ] I like how most people are concerned and this one dude in the back is like I hope that that pregnant girls child wasn't mine what happens to the others who aren't ejected they move on to the next round and what's the next round that shouldn't be your main concern right now it'll probably be a fist fight to the death in a who love jello if I remember the last time we did something like this ladies first all right girls what's your biggest strength what's your biggest weakness which to prophesize when making an entire clone army of super babies once they're all grown up and ready to take over the world I guess I guess excuse me I like how this girls like yeah this is a question that I've actually rehearsed for the Miss Universe pageant why would you need to know that listen I don't want the moon rocks here you answer the goddamn question 32c you see she's right up there and it's a see the right answer is help me see 34d I refuse to answer the question that is like minus 10 points may I respect your honesty ladies but I need to throw this moon rock at one of you sorry glasses chew on a little bit out of space BAM next question what do you do for a living what is your biggest fear what y'all know that we're gonna pick the worst people at least for the first ending right I understand there's a bunch of endings here but I have to know so might as well just go deep you can't ask us that I'm an alien I do what the hell I want virgin you can't possibly expect me to count all my lover's Wow just shot up through the ranks there I'm a very handsome woman well I'm happily married no mate you were happily married now you'll either be breeding super babies or you'll be traveling to earth through the vacuum of space just the one uh-huh hey I'm not gonna lie you're making my job really is if next question what motivates you how many followers do you have are you capable of murder these are legitimately like the best questions I've ever had on a job interview in my life oh absolutely oh it's just bright just right out there really like really - Elka's answer or really to the question oh no she was asking over and almost like oh yeah I've already killed six people unless I maybe inject a lethal substance into someone oh that got dark so I guess I can oh good job man well I really can't goddamn it Jackie no miss universe could be a killer well then miss universe is getting rocked to the head and that concludes the interview may you sucked the most so we will be objecting you so what happens now may the ejection happens I like how everyone's just chilling out front of the window and me know that she's gone time for the men alright boys I think you all know what time it is what's your biggest achievement what's your best asset what's your shoe size you know what let's go with achievements I'll pick a name for once well I was getting the Nobel Prize before your minions abducted me but you didn't actually receive it hmm my biggest achievement was swimming four laps of the pool last Tuesday it was awesome I've been on the news several times I rescue a lot of cats from trees very interesting answers however there's always one loser and right now that loser is Simon tell me Simon have you ever rescued a cat from the vacuum of space wacky next question how do you sleep at night it's like something that you ask someone when they commit unjust murder how much can you lift how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood what is everyone's answer to this coin I have to know I failed math Logan that is a fantastic answer that's a stupid question oh it's a stupid question is it Simon have you ever seen event horizon you should probably watch it because pretty soon you're going to be vomiting your organs out of your mouth from the vacuum of space how Sebastian gave the legitimate answer okay the worst answer was definitely Simon get the hell off my spaceship next question how well do you take orders what would you do with infinite power would you leave the toilet seat up or down I mean it's not my ass falling into the toilet down there on earth so what would you do with infinite power I would make the world a better place Sebastian you realize that that is completely opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish it right I'd make everyone non-ugly I love how the sentence is I'd make everyone not ugly Logan I think that math wasn't the only subject I'd have to think about that oh you won't have to think about assignment you're going into space time's up I guess I'd give it to someone else who knew what to do with it hey Simon open your mouth I'm gonna let you keep it a souvenir from space alright everyone line up in front of the window it's the best so everyone's favorite time of the show this is so exciting it's always wonderful to watch them struggle before they turn inside out finally moving on - I've really been looking forward to this part out God tomorrow my final two females will fight against each other I told you somehow there's gonna be a pool - jello that night where did the remaining humans go you mean two failures I don't know there's space popsicles now I sent them to bed oh you mean the ones they're still alive I don't want the battles to be boring tomorrow yeah they need a good night's sleep before they beat this I don't want another wait a second so now both other aliens are here and Florida Cutrone is like I know why you're here you both want to offer me your services right what kind of what kind of alien services are we talking about here well yeah which one of us would you like to unwind with oh it's not episode without this yeehaw I can't work with you better learn how your love for me should outweigh your hate what a great line I mean totally work all right everyone line up it's WWE time all right girls get to it anything goes the match is over when someone dies or someone dies all right they're they're fighting hard for survival somehow Jackie is like beating the [ __ ] out of all gun oh my god oh my god I like how Jackie literally said what I was thinking what the hell did you have for breakfast steroids and methamphetamine i won against the bodybuilder I'm really curious how the hell that worked are you ready to rumble finally some enthusiasm bring the men out alright I got ten bucks on Logan come on you're named after Wolverine beat his ass I want to see him spitting out teeth oh [ __ ] looks like we have our winners great I've got someone smart and someone vapid I ended up in the middle of the sliding scale I guess it's time to breed them as a reward for beating out your fellow humans we're locking you both in this honeymoon suite you don't get to come out until someone's pregnant good luck food three times a day no TV no mobile phones and most importantly no protection but I'm not attracted to her Sebastian what did you just say you never told us we'd be intimate with someone if we won your stupid game what do you think I was gonna beam the child into you look you don't have a choice love is overrated my game is not stupid my game is not stupid I worked hard for that damn game I love this I kept you from being ejected into space so show me some respect and make a goddamn baby nine months later oh hey it worked see was that so hard giving birth in space with no epidural yes it was incredibly hard well then you should have thrown weaker punches may I hold the baby will you let us go back to earth if we give you the baby ah yeah it is adorable it is the child that will bring forth the destruction of the whole planet so about sending us back to earth oh that's Savage have a safe trip I guess I never said how I would be sending them back time to clone the baby and create our army all right little Sebastian let's get down there it's just a bunch of baby swaddle soaring through the air the moon in the background casting a shadow upon the destruction of the world thirty years later hell yes hey isn't that earth up ahead what is it just like a smoldering piece of rock can you believe it's been 30 years since we sent our clone are me there we should check up on them see how things are doing hopefully poorly Sebastian and Jackie spawns had accomplished nothing literally nothing had changed at all it's like their intelligence and stupidity had balanced out and created normal humans son of ab work and patience for what we just helped grow the population oh we are not ending with that I'm gonna tell you right now from now on no smart people allowed at all so we're doing this interview but may this is basically just a death sentence for you on a side note what's your biggest strength my ability to tolerate this weird alien job interview Oh sassy take this seriously or I'll eat you out of the spaceship and into a black hole god I love it when aliens actually adopt the word yeet maze out there she's like God again sorry Sebastian you gotta take the ride man oh this is interesting the two hot people won all right you two have fun checking out the passing nebula this baby better be better than the last baby by the way go my army of vapid jocks Oh what to hell to my delight Jackie and Logan's demon children had spent the last 30 years flooding the world what the hell have they been doing maybe I decided to turn greenhouse gases up to 11 now everyone gets to enjoy Florida they're genetically good looks had allowed them to become influential figures in the media they persuaded the entire population to believe that Antarctica was a waste of space so they melted it until every god I'm so proud of them you know who's not the Penguins my plan had succeeded and the earth is no more actually I shouldn't say that there's probably still some dude sipping a Bud Light on a lawn chair somewhere okay hold on hold on one more ending I just want see what else we can screw up okay congratulations two smart people get to go on this time this way y'all can come up with a very inventive way to destroy the entire planet all right Jackie you're taking the ride enjoy the lack of an atmosphere you know on the plus side Simon fires can't really exist in the vacuum of space oh wow May's getting ready to throw down she didn't even have her glasses I'm not really sure if she can win but I mean crazier things have happened see she's very wily never mind she's really good at falling unconscious this means I won right well considering your opponent is on the ground bleeding yes I think the last time Logan actually lost this fight that means we're gonna have like the Hulk it's gonna be brains and brawn yeah just be dead-ass again all right let's see how good your bodybuilding Nobel prize-winning babies can do it taking over the planet all right 30 years later and our pro team snorting intellectuals are finally grown up I swear to God if we get over to the earth and it's even better than when we left it I'm gonna be pissed unfortunately Sebastian and Olga's offspring had done the exact opposite of what I had wanted they had grown the economy earth was thriving and it was too late for me to intercept damn it I replaced all the stupid people with perfect people why did I breed and Nobel Prize winner in a bodybuilder because you didn't rig the fight this was an utter disaster wow I literally got three completely separate sides of the spectrum I left the world completely normal I destroyed it and then I made it a better place if I've learned anything instead I'm gonna have to kill all of the bodybuilders and Nobel Prize winners before we attempt this again anyway folks hope you enjoy this episode of episode until next time stay foxy in much love

Channel: GrayStillPlays

Views: 4,211,831

Keywords: Simulation Games, graystillplays, gray still plays, greystillplays, simulator, and this happened, tycoon funny, simulator funny moments, funny clips, funny moments, business simulator, city simulator, city life simulator, dating simulator, dating simulation games, episode interactive, episode game, bad choices, bad life choices game, bad life choices, business game, life game, game of life

Id: UjKFLpabc_o

Length: 17min 46sec (1066 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 19 2020