I speed-dated psychopaths and this happened

alright so we're checking out the only game where if you don't end up dating the right psychopath everyone in the world gets to die it's matched me if you can more speed dating psychopath dammit it matched me if you can you play a young undercover cop who must infiltrate a speed dating service where the murderer is currently hiding why because somehow any developer is still managed to find storylines that have never been used before so every crime is randomly generated and all the stuff that happens with the people in the speed-dating is randomly generated and you have to find out who is the one that did the murder obviously I don't just want to do that I also want to see what happens if I pick the wrong person and everyone has to die from this highly accurate render of the crime scene done by top-notch police software you can see that a body has been found in the club the victim has been cut an antique sword a pair of handcuffs have been found near the crime scene the hell is starting to sound like I did this find the killer with the three clues you got clubs swords handcuffs go actually sounds like a fantastic time are you a cop you look like a cop you sound like a cop you smell like a cop I'll bet you taste like a cop I always love it when Spock's green haired sibling talks to me also what the hell does a cop taste like you're gonna take a bite out of me and be like ha you taste like a cop bitter I don't think I said anything to sound like a cop I must just mouth breeze like a cop so I'm gonna say okay you got me I'm a cop are you a good cop or a bad cop I only date the baddest cops as in you only date the cops that are terrible people or though you only date the cops that are bad at their job actually considering where I am I guess I'm both I got found out that I was a cop on the very first person that I spoke to can I have the next be Bader please let me be honest with you I'm just here to please some friends I'm not looking for a relationship seven second speed-dating this is a stupid idea to begin with as a police officer I have but one very important question for you ma'am what happened to the rest of the buttons on your shirt this girl only has the breast buttons the rest of the buttons just didn't even come to the party she could be singing as well I'm not really sure how come everyone's hair is also the different colors of the rainbow all right who's next oh Jesus oh my what a wonderful sight are you an angel fallen from the sky or a lustful demon sent on earth to tempt me either way I'm afraid you cannot have my soul I don't want your soul I want the promotion to sergeant no get me wrong if I could trade your soul in for a promotion I would do it do all the characters only have four fingers I'm just realizing this guy just has four fingers listen dude the joker called he wants his suit back get the hell out of my way I don't want your heart either I still want my promotion Oh what the hell is this hi love nice bod I'll bet your rip I do take care of myself tell me if you need help with that oh Jesus isn't this exciting meeting all these new people do you have a favorite um I don't know who's the goth girl was that the green haired girl with the blue balls on her head his girl reminds me of Wendy's the burger girl except on a lot more speed she reminds me of my cat mr. Biggles always judging you silently yes as a cop there's only two things I'm good at losing my pension and being judged by green haired goth girls it was a pleasure I love your hair Thanks I cut it myself with my sword denne denne denne in the world of law enforcement that is considered a clue I bet he got those glasses that eyeglass world does ripoff bastards they didn't even give him a bridge to bring the two lenses together you wouldn't happen to be hiding a pair of handcuffs under that toupee with you alright mate nice to meet you I hope I don't lull you to sleep what's that you're smoking it's always nice to meet new you just avoided my question you bastard oh it's my favorite judging goth girl have you ever killed anyone how did that feel I'll bet you enjoyed it I'll bet you think about it every night when making love to your husband that's right everyone knows that shooting people is a lot like having sex you pull the trigger and then someone dies actually it's nothing like having sex what is wrong with this girl this is the person I want to date I shouldn't be here I should be with my kids I've got kids too really minor driving me crazy these days with their fortnight and those 42 seconds away from you felt like an eternity maybe you should be scared after all I do have an impressive collection of swords at my castle I hope that you will come visit one day what does everyone at this goddamn speed-dating thing have swords I never thought out of all the clues that would be the one that would trip me up so right now the suspects are pink haired eyeglass world Kidd and Count Chocula so tell me luv what do you do for a living I'm a cop no kidding I'm a cop too we should be buddies I could show you my lethal weapon I need to bring a couple of things to people's attention right here is it just me or is his right arm way smaller than his left arm also is he missing his thumb I'm pretty sure he's missing his left thumb either that or it's just been replaced with a flesh-colored small slice of pizza fantastic mustache by the way so did you meet everyone I have a big crush on the shy guy I'd prefer Dylan the one with the pink shirt it's funny we met yesterday at the club all right the guy who uses his katana as a Flowbee is currently our number-one suspect he was at the club and he has a sword it's kind of hard to trust this lady though that looks like a bracelet on her left hand but it's actually a gigantic ecstasy pill hey Dylan enjoying killing people I'll bet you're a student I'm a deejay in a club it's got to be him need anything tonight officer is your undercover operation stressing you out damn it I was too slow I wanted to click on the I only need you babe option that's right if there's one thing I love about you it's that your skin has the tone of someone who'd rounded an icy lake these are all humans in the speed-dating event right did you identify the killer yet I never said I was looking for a killer actually I never really said I was looking for anyone you know cops need speed dating too you judgmental ho I bet you haven't it's gross kind of a [ __ ] oh yeah you ever been tested for hepatitis I'll bet you haven't sorry for my rudeness I'm just not comfortable so who's watching the kids I dropped them off at their tennis lesson oh wait does that mean you're wealthy come back when people look at me they see a big strong tough guy but I've been hurt I've got sand stuck everywhere come back for my sunbathing session certified without a tan line any hobbies I'd rather not say you'll make fun of me does it involve handcuffs wait come back I just told this guy that I like being spanked that's like my deep dark secret and he goes we all do mate we all do me I like doing it while wearing a Pokemon I hope that doesn't turn you off it doesn't turn me off so much as it makes my eyes slowly invert so that they stab me in the brain have I not met you somewhere else possibly do you study at the campus I teach art there yeah if I studied art I may have slightly less regret than how I studied criminal justice she does look slightly like an art teacher but the fact that she appears to be missing a thumb means that handling a paintbrush must be a pain in the ass you smell like death that must be the from hell decide I'm an amateur taxidermist here take my card you never know when you're in need of a cat and bombing why would I want to embalm my cat actually I shouldn't say that I mean I may be embalming someone else's cat and just keeping it so I have a friend at the house I should have never asked this is the most horrifying animation of a cartoon character I have ever seen in my entire life it's like his right arm got liposuction and he couldn't afford it for the left arm it's like he half-assed arm day every day at the gym have you ever killed someone have you as a matter of fact I did I killed a cat this very morning I knew it am I in trouble officer why is everything in this game revolving around doing terrible things to cats I only need you babe gross I always wanted to know what her answer to that was bathroom in Timmins wait a minute great the place I always wished to have a pickup in a speed-dating convention in the bathroom I can't wait to see what this girl's ending is she's wild as hell are you a dog or a cat person cuz everyone else is killing the cats all right no answer there can I ask you a favor please don't drink my blood how ridiculous look at the face why would I do such a terrible thing is this what I look like to you a vampire you kind of look like an AARP version of a empire you do have the widow's peak and a total lack of liveliness in your eyes I do also appreciate the 40,000 chins right now so I came back to this girl and I finally got to tell her that I'm not a cop and she's like that's exactly what a cop would say a shameless cop hitting on freshman students look girl I'm hitting on a lot of different people tonight apparently everyone from freshman students to vlad von creepy peen over there so i told this guy that i'm an artist for a living this time and he goes oh you draw are you looking for a model i could be one of your French girl listen bargain-basement Popeye I prefer my French girls to have symmetrical arms and two thumbs select a character so I have a feeling that this guy's that killer but I want to actually have a date with a single mom or whatever the hell this is oh this guy would be pretty funny - is there an ending for all these people let's pick one I first a rest or date well dater you spent a wonderful evening with your date and one step leading to another you spent the rest of your lives together the killer however remained on the run with 77 new victims 77 deaths you could have avoided but I got this fantastic postcard picture what does this creature on her back is this one of her children it kind of looks like an evil rabbit preparing to kill her and her son with an oversized lawn dart okay after seeing this I need to know what the other endings with the other characters look like all right crazy goth girl let's do this what in the hell is happening in this scene is this a stick it's like a car exploding in the background choosing this girl's the best all right how about this thing the art in this game is absolutely incredible this looks like a level of mspaint power that I have never seen before however there's one thing that is particularly troubling besides the fact that they are laying naked in bed draped with silken cloths which is the fact that now they have five fingers whereas before they only had four how about the main girl this is the girl that like runs the whole event I like how she's going mountain climbing in her polka-dotted moon don't make any sense at all go out with dark-skinned guy get a plate of pancakes this is the most normal date I've had seven cent pancakes son of a B so I paid the guy with the gigantic arm we're going to the for this poor Swan or whatever it's looking at me it's like Jesus Christ I'm paralyzed Oh God there's there's different endings if you choose to arrest them too I arrested the goth girl and it says well done officer you have put an innocent behind bars but don't worry too much about this poor soul their fate is a hundred times preferable to one of the 77 people the fugitive murdered during next year well they leave one of the bodies outside of the jail isn't offering so I finally picked the right option or I can have the good ending or so you think which doesn't happen because I'm a police officer says well done officer you have arrested the murderer the streets of our beloved city are safe at last but tonight once again you will end up alone I had to sacrifice my sex life for your safety I hope you're all happy this son is over here and it's like this is the one day where I don't have to shine my Ray's upon the blood of the innocent anyway folks hope you enjoyed this episode of magic me if you can until the next time it's a foxy much-loved

Channel: GrayStillPlays

Views: 544,382

Keywords: Simulation Games, graystillplays, gray still plays, greystillplays, simulator, and this happened, tycoon funny, simulator funny moments, funny clips, funny moments, business simulator, built a city, no laws, city simulator, city life, city life simulator, dating simulator, dating simulation games, dating simulation game, funny dating stories, dating stories, match me if you can, match me if you can game, speed dating, terrible dating advice, worst dates

Id: AsfSSVttX30

Length: 12min 21sec (741 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 22 2020